Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole’s Little Uniform

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

Hey Friends! Nicole wants to know how rumors and nursery rhymes get started? Sasheer has the perfect answer. Nicole loved Madame Webb. Sasheer loved that a theater usher called Madame Webb the movie of our generation. Nicole also loved The Beekeeper. Sasheer had her second drumming lesson. Nicole comes up with an exercise to strengthen syncopation. Sasheer didn’t know that Nicole changed earlier. Nicole explains the thought process behind her performance uniform for touring. Sasheer thinks it’s smart to have a performance uniform. Nicole thinks she packs way too much underwear. Sasheer embraced safari outfits during their trip to Africa. Nicole turned into a safari queen near the end of the trip. They answer your friendship questions about how they would react if either of them got pregnant and how to not be a needy friend. This was recorded on March 8th, 2024. Sources: Chuckyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chucky_(Child%27s_Play)Abortion Costshttps://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/how-much-does-an-abortion-costNo BuzzFeed quiz this week.  Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

so sheer nicole how are you good how are you listen i'm great you scooped me up in your vehicle you drove me on over and that was nice yeah that was nice. Yeah, that was nice. I liked it. Me too. And we're gonna like go to another destination after this together. That's my favorite. Just wheeling and dealing around town. Out and about in L.A. In L.A. Speaking of

L.A. This has nothing to do with L.A. You sent me that video about Tommy Hilfiger not being racist. Oh yeah, there was a person talking about how it was a rumor going around that that tommy hill figure went on oprah went on oprah specifically and said he didn't want black people to wear his designs and oprah like walked off stage and told him to shove it it was an email that went around to people and i did not have an email address when I heard about it,

but I distinctly remember hearing about it and being like, yeah, I'm not wearing his clothes. My mother was not buying me his clothes. I don't think, yeah, I was, yeah. I don't know if I had Tommy Hilfiger at all. I certainly didn't. We can't wear that. He doesn't like black people.

And I guess that's not true. No, somebody just like made it up which is yeah like who was sitting in their home being like i don't like tommy hill figure i'm gonna fuck your shit up yeah and they really did they did yeah because it's been long lasting this was like in the 90s yeah and we're not in the 90s anymore we are far out of it we're in the future this is the future yeah but tommy still holding on strong so it's okay really is um yeah how does how do things like that start also you know like miss mary mac mac mac all dressed in black black black with silver buttons but how do you know it i don't know exactly how do i know it you grew up in indiana i grew up in new jersey yeah that's states apart yeah how do we know it

people who move oh my god never occurred to me never once occurred to me that a kid would just move and be like this yeah it's military brats like me who go from school to school being like i learned this weird thing and then you share it with other people and then they keep it. Wow. Yeah. I don't know what I was trying to, like, uncover. Yeah, you really. You're a conspiracy theorist all of a sudden.

It's being pumped in our schools. This is the. They want you. It's all propaganda. It's big nursery rhyme. When you play it backwards, it's telling you to do something bad. It's telling you to eat babies. God, wow.

That's wild that you came to that conclusion so quick. Yeah. And I've been thinking about that for a while. Oh, I didn't know that. I think I had a conversation with somebody and we were like, oh, yeah, people move. I feel like it've been thinking about that for a while. Oh, I didn't know that. I think I had a conversation with somebody and we were like, oh yeah, people move.

I feel like it was a part of that conversation and maybe I missed out on that last bit. Maybe. Maybe I just spiraled into my own thoughts. I was like,

why do all these kids know this? Why do we all know it? Oh my God. Oh, wow. Did you ever, this is a thing I learned at a school that I don't know

if it was at any other school I was at, but the ramen noodle packets, you keep the packet closed, pound on it, crunch it up, open the packet, take out the flavoring, dump the flavoring in there, shake it all up, and then you eat it like chips. Have you done that before? Sounds salty. It is salty, but tasty. No, I've never done that before sounds salty it is salty but tasty no i've never done that yeah it's good wow when you don't have hot water for a bowl you just crunch it up and eat it same amount of food where were you in riverside california and you didn't have no water? It was a drought. We can't spare any water for soup. Your mother was like, no soup for you!

And that's from Seinfeld. Yes. And I've never seen an episode of Seinfeld, but I know that. Yeah. We saw one of the most iconic movies of maybe our generation the other night. Madam Web. That is what the ticket taker said as we were entering.

This kid named Rory. Yes, Rory at the ANC in the Americana. I love what he said so much. I asked him to repeat it and he didn't get that I loved it so much. Yeah, he's like, this is a movie of our generation. And then I think at one point he was like, yeah, I mean, what can I say? It's a movie. They made it.

And I was like, and it's here. And it's a movie. These are not compliments. It was so funny. I love Rory. Yeah. He was very, very funny. Oh, my God.

I loved the movie. I was laughing the whole time. It was riveting. Yeah. And then I thought about it and I was like, wait, is this a commentary on the comic book genre as a whole? And it's actually satire. Yeah. And it really is genius. That's what they should go with.

That's how this should be spun. Right? Yeah. That's how they should spin that web. Yeah, that's how they should spin that web. Because spiders spin webs. No, I got it. It's just so quick.

The puns really just fall out of your mouth and it's honestly unhinged. The tangled web I weave. I hate it. Boy, oh boy. They also, I mean, okay, if you don't want this movie spoiled. It's been out for a while. I think you either you're seeing it. Two weeks. Or you won't.

The villain, he only speaks in ADR. Yeah, he dubbed his own voice. Yeah. So ADR, like say, if you don't know, a microphone sometimes doesn't capture all the words said, so you have to go into a studio. And usually you match it to picture. You watch your mouth move, which is hard for me because I have a very weird cadence. But I do my best. And this man said, I simply won't try.

Also, I will record some of this in the shower. Yeah, I don't know what happened. His mouth wasn't moving and he'd be saying whole monologues. Yeah. Also, at one point, she's driving on the road. Next thing you know, she's crashing through a building. I genuinely screamed at that part. I was like, my hands were on my head.

I was like, ah! What? It would turn into Fast and furious it really did and she's driving an ambulance yeah and through a billboard and truly i was like an ambulance is not nimble okay no it is not a sports car it's not you know doing the hard turns and whatnot oh i it was a masterpiece it was really fun i really liked it yeah and i was saying afterwards that there should be like um like a shit talk night at movie theaters oh um somebody told me that they're that the alamo draft house has like rude night or something oh we're like it's that's the night you like talk to the screen and boo and laugh and stuff yeah but honestly i think every movie should

be like that yeah is it for current movies this i don't know okay you know i didn't ask a follow-up question of course yeah you know i forgot to tell you because this was told to me a while ago yeah our friend wyatt sinek would do this thing called shouting at the screen where you get like blaxploitation movies and play it and everyone would shout at it and like say wild jokes and that was very fun but I want something for like movies that are currently in the theaters like when once it's been panned once everyone has agreed like this is

ridiculous then now on Thursday night the last Thursday of the month you can go to the theater watch this movie and everyone can scream and say whatever joke they want to say I would love that I said the audience was not rowdy enough for my liking. They're just kind of like watching it.

I was like, why do you do it? Yeah. What's happening? Although I think I laughed really hard and then the guy behind us was like, oh, okay. Oh, this is funny. This is what we're doing. I like that. Yeah.

And then I very genuinely said after the movie was over, I was, what did I say? I was like, we got to get the people out. Yeah. People don't realize how fun the movies are. We gotta tell the people to go back to the theater. I munched down a hot dog. Yeah. I laughed.

I had a great time at the movie. I had such a nice time. Rory was so nice. I tasted ranch popcorn. That was disgusting. It was not good. Yeah. But I was so nice. I tasted ranch popcorn. That was disgusting. It was not good. Yeah. But I would not have gotten that in my house.

No, you certainly would not have. Oh, I had a blast. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, spider people. Which is things that was uttered in the movie. Yeah. people which is things that was uttered in the movie yeah and then what was the the quote that's kind of like the quote that's actually oh my god so in spider-man it's uh with great power comes great responsibility and he was like when greatness comes the responsibility

grows and you're like wait no yeah for powerful, great responsibility comes. I was like, wait, what? Man, it was great. It was great. I had such a good time. Same. I can't believe people didn't like it. Yeah. I was like, I'm having fun.

Yeah. I'm having fun watching this. Do you think movie reviewers watch movies on the big screen? Or are they getting links and watching it on their dinky little computers i guess yeah they're like a critic they probably even if they haven't seen it at a screening yeah probably on the computers they need to take themselves to the theater they really do they're not having a good time at the theater i think they would have a different perspective if they saw everything on a big screen.

Yeah, they're like, I had fun. I left my house. I had a great time. Everybody was in a different movie. Yeah. Things aren't finished. The timeline makes zero sense. Homegirl parked a taxi at the airport and flew to Peru and came back and the taxi was still there.

And it's the same day. That's fun. That's fun. That's a fun movie. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Also, when the credits rolled, I was like, four people wrote this? I couldn't believe. Yeah.

That happens sometimes. Could have been, like, they started with an early version, and then at some point someone rewrote it or added something. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God, I loved it. Yeah. And The Beekeeper. Two of my hits of 2024. I still need to see that.

I actually haven't even seen a trailer for The Beekeeper. I didn't know it was a movie until my cousin said, do you want to see The Beekeeper? And I said, what's it about? And she just fumbled her phone and was like, I don't know, my you want to see The Beekeeper? And I said, what's it about? And she just fumbled her phone and was like, I don't know, my dad wants to see it. So we saw it on my Uncle Bobby,

the eve of his birthday. Nice. And boy, oh boy, did he have a good time. Also, my Uncle Bobby's so funny. So he orders a large popcorn, munches on it throughout the movie, and then goes and gets a refill and takes that home.

And last time I was at his house, I was was like why does he have movie theater popcorn here what he's just munching on it and i was like oh because he brings it home and munches on it through the week through the week i don't know how old it was but it was stale i must say it's it's gonna get stale hours later like it's gonna get stale pretty quickly my uncle bobby very funny yeah i took a picture of him and we were going through a bunch of old pictures uh and i had taken photos of the or pictures of the old pictures on my phone and he was like show me a couple of your mom and i was like okay and i was showing him and then i showed him the picture i took of him minutes ago he went what room is this in and i was like this one and was like, how'd you get that picture? And I was like, I took this minutes ago

and he went, oh, you got me. And I was like, I didn't, I wasn't trying to. He makes me laugh so hard. That's really funny.

How did you get that picture? I was like, am I the crazy one? I was like, I just, I just took, what? Who took it?

What? I have a camera in my hand right now. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I had my second drum lesson today. And it was very fun. I saw those drumsticks in your car. Yeah, I didn't move them over.

I was waiting on you to say something. You noticed those drumsticks in my car? Yeah, I noticed. Yeah. I was waiting for you to tell me. And I had a really good lesson. My teacher said I'm doing a really good job. Congrats.

Thank you. am doing a really good job congrats thank you um we're working on like i guess syncopation and just how to make every limb feel independent which is pretty hard oh yeah yeah so it's like like this hand will be like on the hi-hat this one will be on the snare and then my right foot will be on the bass drum and just like getting them all to do a different thing at the same time but i'm getting there i have a good exercise for you yeah so pat your head rub your belly uh tap your foot and circle the other one oh boy oh oh i am doing it oh you're good at syncopation. I don't know the word you say. Syncopation. I'm doing it.

Oh, you are? Yeah. It's harder on the left side. Well, I made it up. It's not like a drum exercise. I think, but I think that probably is helpful. Oh. Yeah.

I've been, because Veronica, our pole teacher, told us to brush our teeth with both hands. She did? did she not I pretty I feel like I have learned this from Veronica but maybe I learned it somewhere else

just like occasionally like switch up when you just switch up when you're brushing just like sometimes use your dominant hand

sometimes use your less dominant hand so when you're using your hand on the pole in different figurations you're not gonna be like uh i don't know what to do my left hand or whatever so yeah sometimes i'll actually every time i brush my teeth i brush half my mouth with my right hand and half with the left hand wait you know that you know that time when we asked people how they put a bra on? Yes. Are people not brushing their teeth with both hands? I feel like I do that.

What? Why? Well, I believe I'm ambidextrous, so I do my eyeliner with this one. Oh, that I have not even tried. I could never do my eyeliner with the opposite. Yeah. Judith, how do you brush your teeth just with one hand yeah yeah my hand and everything else on the right if i tried

my left hand i would look crazy yeah am i am i the weirdo no i think i think you are ambidextrous and probably maybe other people who are ambidextrous do that i don Really, brushing my teeth is the only thing I do with my left hand. I don't try to do makeup or anything. But maybe I should try because maybe I get good at it. But I think it's supposed to also open up pathways in your brain. Interesting. I'm always looking to explore my mind. Yes.

Yes. I've never said that before in my whole life. I'm just trying to get free, baby. Just trying to find the real me. Yeah. I also brush my teeth wrong. So you have an electric toothbrush, yes? How do you brush your teeth

i'm just perfect question for a podcast yeah that's true i guess for the listeners i'm just moving my hand in front of my mouth um yeah i guess oh i i uh stay on the bottom left section of my teeth for 30 seconds until it buzzes or whatever. Then I go to the top. Then I switch over to the other side of my mouth to the top right and then bottom right. But you just like hold it over the tooth as the bristles spin, right? I mean, I guess I'm moving it. But yeah, yeah, I'm holding it over the tooth, I guess.

I have an electric toothbrush and I brush like I don't have an electric toothbrush. Oh, I see. And it's constantly red because it's like, you're doing it too hard. Help, help. Wait, what's red? Your gums? No, the, so I, on my thing, it's like. Like you're running out of battery? No, it's like pink for not hard enough. Green's good. Red, you're too hard on your teeth. Oh, I don't have a toothbrush like this. So you don't have an oral b i do have an oral b you do yeah i do the latest model probably not mine's pretty basic and doesn't have colors like that mine tells me things oh so it's telling you like the pressures too hard well that's good yeah but i'm truly like i'm in there i just I don't want to go to the dentist again. I understand.

I will go, but yeah, my cheek never recovered. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's okay. This cheek's just thicker than that cheek. No, I've never noticed. Mm-hmm. I feel it.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you can't do anything. It just is how it is. What does it feel like when you try to brush your teeth without, like, scrubbing?

Like, without using your force in your hand? They don't feel clean. Mm. Yeah. And it doesn't feel like I'm doing anything. Yeah, I understand. And I want to do stuff. If I'm going to brush my teeth, I i want to feel it i want to feel the pain

i'm not dating anyone so i want to feel something somewhere may as well feel it my teeth oh my god where is this shirt from it's okay so you're listening you can't see it you better believe it's got none of the colors of the rainbow. They're like royal colors. Yeah, they're real jewel tones. We got like a burgundy, plummy, an emerald green,

silver, gold. Where's this from? It's vintage. Obskies. Some thrift store. I honestly can't remember. I'm glad that you like it. I don't know if I've worn it other than this time. Oh. I've had it for a while. that you like it. I don't know if I want it other than this time.

Oh, I've had it for a while. I really like it. I wear a little uniform, especially when I'm performing. I'm like the uniform helps me when I can't think in the mornings to get dressed. And then it helps me with performing because I'm like, oh, I know this fits. I know I can move around in it. And when you came to pick me up, I was wearing one iteration of my little uniform. I was like, I have to change.

The only thing that changed was the shade of the jeans and the color of the stripes on my shirt. That's so funny. I actually didn't know you changed. I really thought you went upstairs, ran around, did some stuff, and then came downstairs in the same outfit. Wait, are you kidding? I am not kidding. I didn't realize. What did you think when I said with or without the vest?

Because it was a different outfit. Well, you had the vest on earlier, and then I thought you were like, should I switch it up a little bit by taking the vest off? The shirt I was wearing before was three-quarter sleeves. This is like a half an inch longer than that this is a long sleeve shirt

what I was wearing the jeans were like four shades lighter I mean I guess I just glanced at you before you went upstairs and the shirt was black and white there was no blue or brown I'm sorry but everything you're just these are slight variations you're just...

These are slight variations. You're basically wearing a black and white striped shirt right now. There is brown. There's also green and blue, I think. But there's definitely black and white stripes in there. I'm like blown away I didn't study your outfit before you went upstairs you didn't have to study it

the jeans were simply lighter and the shirt didn't have brown in it or this like teal again I just I genuinely thought you were so warm where are you going I almost fell right down

I almost fell out I am so shocked that you but i love this outfit this looks great do when i wear my little uniform are people like oh god she's wearing the same thing over and over and over again even though there's color variations no i think usually you have like really different variations the variation between this shirt and the one you had earlier was is ever so slight please don't cry this is so wild to me because i was like should i change should i take the vest off because the outfit was different and i was like light jeans with a black vest is different than darker jeans with a black vest and i can't believe you're just like no it looks good but you just thought it was

the same thing i'd been wearing what did you think i was doing upstairs i was running back and forth i really thought you were just running i thought you're just What did you think I was doing upstairs? I was running back and forth. I really thought you were just running. I thought you were just running around. You thought I was literally just running? Well, I knew you were gathering because you were getting your makeup bag together. I was naked. I had no clue. I thought you just came down in the same outfit.

And I was like, I guess she was like maybe like freshening up her makeup, putting her bag together. And I don't know. Sometimes when I'm leaving the house, I tidy up stuff and I like do things I don't need to be doing so I was like maybe she's doing that wow really makes you think if a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound now why does it make you think that how does that apply to this I don't know I think because you thought I was doing different things and maybe trees are doing different things when they fall down in the woods and nobody's there to hear it. What kind of things could they be doing? They could be going, whoo!

Or falling silently. I don't know. I didn't think it through. I just said it right out loud. It's okay. It's fine. But I do think it's smart that you have a performance uniform because, yeah, it does take less thought out of the process. That's why, like, Steve Jobs always had, like, a black turtleneck or Zuckerberg always has, like, a gray shirt.

Like, it's, like, easy. It's, like, more efficient. You can, like, move through the day quicker because you're not thinking about what you're going to wear. Yeah, I also pack in a incredibly quick fashion when i'm touring because i'm like i'm gone for four days four striped shirts two pairs of jeans yeah and then a hundred pairs of underwear because i pack like i'm gonna shit myself every single minute of the day whatever i'm like why do i have so many pairs of underwear you just never know i don't yeah better to have it not needed than need it not like why do i have so many pairs of underwear you just never know i don't

yeah better to have it not needed than need it not have it but i have never been like thank god i have an extra pair i've never needed it but you probably have no because what i do is if i'm like oh i'm bringing workout clothes I then bring so if I'm gone for four days I'll bring four pairs of underwear five for just in case five more in case I work out so that's ten pairs of underwear for four days

and then sometimes I'll go well what about another two for extra measure so at any point in time I'll be gone for four days with twelve pairs of underwear not once have I been like wh, I'll be gone for four days with 12 pairs of underwear. Not once have I been like, whew, I'll ram through those. For Africa, I truly think I brought 30 pairs of underwear for 13 days. I also brought so many outfits and wore the same things over and over again.

My little uniform. Yeah. Because I was like, well, I'm not home. I don't have like, I don't know. I can can't like change change i only have what i brought it's limited but that's hard because like we were doing so many different things on that trip where i was like sometimes we need to be dressy sometimes gonna be very hot sometimes it's gonna be so cold so cold like it was we we needed all of our clothes you're right i also i don't like change and stuff and like you really embrace safari outfits you were like you were just like you

were a safari queen that's safari and i was like i'll just wear my leggings and i'll wear like i can't i'm not a safari queen but by the last two game drives we did i was dressed like a safari queen. Yes, you were. I said, yes, I will slip on these sweat-wicking Amazon pants I got for $19. And I really liked who I was. I did too. You had your little visor. Yes.

Your little scarves. If it was just like there was too much dust going into our face. We had to like do it a few times to understand what was needed yes because it's hard to imagine what is happening on safari and nobody really explains it to you very well no and then at one point something in the brush cut me and i was like oh shi i hope it wasn't poisonous and you were like

we have to get you boots yeah i was like why are ankles out right now we need to cover all the skin i always have my ankles out yeah did you know that about me i guess i didn't know that was a thing about you all of my pants are either cropped or pre-rolled oh okay i simply don't really wear boots per se or much. And you don't like wearing socks higher than your ankle. So, yeah, I think that makes sense. Okay. I'm so tense right now because I don't know why I'm always showing off my ankles.

It's like a little bit of skin. Trying to be risque. Yeah, trying to tempt some men. They're like, damn, look at that ankle. Nice ankles. It's like an inch and a half of skin. Oh, yeah. Can't see anything else other than all those stripes.

I do think I'm gonna... I don't know why that rocked me that you called out my stripes. I think it's because I know what my uniform is, but I don't know if other people do. I think they do. Yeah, I once had a friend be like, you wear a lot of stripes.

And I was like, huh. And then they wore a lot of stripes. And then sometimes we'd go out together and both be wearing stripes. So sometimes I would consciously not wear stripes and then they wouldn't be wearing stripes. And then sometimes we'd go out together and both be wearing stripes. So sometimes I would consciously not wear stripes. And then they wouldn't be wearing stripes. And then I don't think either one of us was comfortable. I love stripes.

Yeah. They're just so elegant, classy, and timeless. Sure. Yeah. But also I do sometimes feel like I look like Chucky. Oh. Chucky was in stripes. I guess so.

What do you mean you guessed? Wasn't he in stripes? i don't actually know you don't know chucky i do know chucky but i when i'm like trying to paint a mental picture i'm thinking of like primary colors or like like red and green or something but i don't know if i necessarily see stripes you know can. Can we pull up a picture of Chucky? Can I blast a photo of Chucky in there? Yeah, blast it. Oh, there's stripes. Yeah, there's stripes. Rainbow stripes.

I'm Chucky. Wait, Chucky gets married? You absolutely have an outfit like this. Are you kidding? You can put that together at any moment. At any moment. Yeah, the bride of Chucky. I don't think I knew that.

I thought Chucky was a child. Or is Chucky an adult trapped in a doll? I actually don't think I've seen any of the Chucky movies. Me either. I don't even know what the backstory is. Hmm. So, okay, Chucky is a vicious serial killer who bleeds out from a gunshot wound, transfers his soul into a good guy doll, and tries to transfer it to a human body.

Huh. Interesting that he knew and had the technology to do that. I don't know. Was it technology? I don't know. Was it technology? Well, how would you transfer your soul into a doll by some sort of mechanism? Oh, like a ritual? Oh, maybe a spell?

Yeah. Hmm. Wow. Hmm. Hmm. I'd be mad if I was stuck in a doll. You can't reach nothing he reached knives

I guess you just have to crawl around I don't want to be crawling around no I want to be full size well let's hope you never have to transfer your soul to a doll I don't have the technology I couldn't possibly, I don't have the technology. I couldn't possibly.

I don't have the technology. Did you have any full-length dolls growing up? I had a dolphin that was the size of me that I slept in the bed with. Oh. Yeah. That's kind of fun. It was fun. Before I knew how evil dolphins were.

I think that was it. I can't think of too many other dolls I had that were big. I had a doll named Henrietta. I don't know the brand name of this doll, but she was a my size doll that was black. But I don't think she was part of the Barbie lineage. She was pretty big. And I remember going into my mother's

bathroom, pulling out all of her Clinique and going, huh, Henrietta needs a makeover. And I painted all of Henrietta's face and the makeup, for whatever reason, wouldn't come off, which I was like, this should be concerning for my mother. You know, if it's not coming off, Henrietta, what's it doing to your skin it's a good point um but i would drag henrietta everywhere with us and one day we would i think we were at the doctor's office and i wanted to bring henrietta inside and my mom was like no we're not lugging because she was heavy she was like we're not lugging this doll inside so we left henrietta in the car and a woman was like your child and then she insisted that my mother had left her child in the car. But she truly was like, no, no, one, two.

And then like the lady made my mom open the door because she was she really thought that Henrietta was a child. I didn't get to bring Henrietta anywhere else. Yeah, that makes sense. I miss Henrietta. Hmm. Oh, well. Should we answer questions? Is it that time? Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe we can find Henrietta. I don't know the, like, the... Because you gave this doll the name Henrietta. Yeah, there was Henrietta, Mousy Mouse, Dog. And I have Mousy Mouse and Dog. Is Dog a dog? You better believe. Okay.

And then he sings, how much is that doggy in the window? Arf, arf. Yeah. Yeah. Or he doesn't sing it. It's just the melody. It's the instrumental. Yeah. Or he doesn't sing it. It's just the melody. It's the instrumental. Nice.

They're in my closet. Nice. And sometimes I, sometimes I like Toy Story them and like, we'll close the closet and open it and be like,

y'all talking? And then sometimes I'm like, are you guys okay in here? But they don't talk back. Maybe let them out for a little bit. Let them breathe. Yeah, maybe.

Right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm qualified to answer questions. I'm going to let my stuffed animals out to breathe. And do you have a question for me? Okay. Hello, best friends.

Oh, I just love you guys so much. I really hope this gets on the pod someday because I think this is a really fun question. My best friend and I listen to your podcast every week and we talk about it. We currently have a long distance friendship. I'm trying to be Vinicol and work on getting my friend out to the west coast

because I know that Tashir ended up moving from New York to LA to follow Nicole so just putting that out into the world too if it gets on the podcast girl we're listening to you anyway my question is very fun wait pause it what? the question is

this person thinks you moved to LA solely because of me and not the booming film industry that you have a robust career in? I've never said booming or robust. No, I moved here for you. Good to know. And then you just got lucky. Yeah.

I just happened to get jobs here. Thank God. That's really funny. I don't know what I was going to do. This person believes that. Yeah. Okay. Hit it. got pregnant and had a baby. How would that make you feel? And to share, what, you know, what would Nicole's answer to this question have you feel like?

We have sort of assigned one of you to each of us and are my friend and I's best friendship. And we just had this very funny conversation about what if that happened to us? And then, oh my God, what if that happened to Nicole and to share? So we'd love to know. Love you guys. Love all the producers um can we miss you hope you're doing

well jordan judith love you guys too thank you very much and just keep being awesome you're the best love you okay if tomorrow at 3 30 okay called. Because that's when doctor's appointments happen. In the afternoon. Some happen in the morning. No. What are you talking about? If I was going to the doctor, it would probably be in the morning. Why?

I like getting it over with. But why would you wake up early to go to the doctor? So then I have the rest of the day free. And I don't have to sit in traffic going to the doctor at 3 30 okay i always do my doctor's appointments at one and then get home by like 3 30 and that's when people People will want news. You're going to wake me up at like 11 a.m. with your news. Um, yeah, you're not going to take my call at 11 a.m. I will. But you want to wake me up at 11 a.m. to tell me you're having a baby.

That's 3.30 news. It shouldn't matter when I'm calling you. The news is the news okay they don't have they have the six o'clock news because it's like the day is done what information can i take in the day's halfway over what information from my friend can i take in i can't start my day with news that's not my own but i feel like i'm having a baby is like, like breaking news. And it doesn't matter what time of the day it is. I'm going to tell you.

This is like alert on your phone news. But like 3.30, school's out. And guess what? I don't need to tell you when school's out. I don't know anyone in school that I need to tell that I'm pregnant. School's out. News out. You know those kids you see outside?

I'm having one. That's great. That's how. I don't need a segue to tell you I'm pregnant. News out. You know those kids you see outside? I'm having one. That's great. I don't need a segue to tell you I'm pregnant. Hey, these kids at high school reminds me about the fact that I'm having a baby. Call me at 11am. Okay, it's 11am.

Oh. Ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring. Oh my god, my phone. Ring. I can't believe I changed it from share. Ring, ring, ring. Hello my God, my phone. Ring. I can't believe I changed it from share. Ring, ring, ring. Hello? Hi. Did I wake you?

Of course you did. All right, I have some really important news to tell you. Ooh, are we going on a trip? No, I'm never going on a trip again because... What? I'm... You're on the no-fly list? No.

Did you do terrorism? No, I did not do terrorism. I'm. You're on the no-fly list? No. Did you do terrorism? No, I did not do terrorism. I'm pregnant. Wait. With what? A baby. Oh. Do you want me to come over?

You can. Okay. And we'll talk about this. I think that's exactly how I would respond. Like, do you want me to come over so we can really just discuss this? What are we discussing? Well, whether you're keeping it or not. All right.

Now I'm going to call you at 3.30. Okay. Ring, ring. Hello. Do you believe? Oh, thank God I changed it back. Hello? Hi, Nicole. Ooh, baby. Guess what Do you believe? Oh, thank God I changed it back. Hello? Hi, Nicole.

Ooh, baby. Guess what I did today? Oh, um, what? Okay, well, I went for a walk and Clyde bit my neighbor again. Oh, no, that sucks. Yeah, that's about all I did. What's up? Well, I had a very interesting day.

I just found out I'm pregnant. Whoa. I can't believe you waited to tell me. I can't believe you didn't wake me up. When did you find out? That's exactly probably how I would respond. When did you find out? I'm on 11 a.m.m today i can't believe you waited why would you wait till school's out i needed to learn during school hours

uh there is no good time to tell me that you're pregnant um i do i really think my response would you like me to come over to talk about this yeah and then you will walk me through what your thought process was yeah because we have we've just talked so much about not having children yeah and then i feel like i would feel not like left out of a decision or like not included because it's your life you whatever but like i think i would feel like huh so a whole life-changing decision was made but like you it like you didn't just tell me that you were thinking about it thinking about having a kid yeah well me saying i'm pregnant is not saying me me saying i'm keeping it and that's why we'd have to have the discussion because i would drive you straight to a planned parenthhmm. Or a paid one.

Wait, do you have to pay a Planned Parenthood? Yes. I think so. I think for sure. How do abortions work? Do you pay money for it? I don't think they're giving them out for free. They don't?

I don't think so. I think they should. Well, it's still like someone is working. Is that an okay response? To be like, can we talk about it? Yeah, because what you said, we have discussed how I do not want to have kids. So me saying I'm not pregnant, it's like, well, what does this mean? Does it mean I'm going to keep it?

Does it mean I'm making big decisions? Or, you know, yeah. How do I feel about it? Yeah, it's a whole thing. If I was trying to get pregnant, that's a different response. Yeah. Yeah. And if you were trying to get pregnant, didn't tell me, I think my feelings would be really hurt. Yeah. I think it'd be strange if I, if that was the case, if I was trying to get pregnant and I was like, guess what? Few. That was really vulnerable of me to say. And I was like, I was like, there's a 50% chance

that this year might be like, well, that's my business. That's my life. And I was like, there's a 50% chance that Sashir might be like, well, that's my business. That's my life. And I was like, oh, my God. I'll have to jump right out a window. I mean, like, yeah, it's my business. But, like, that's a big decision that, yeah, why wouldn't I be? If you were like, how's it going? And I just didn't say, I'm trying to get pregnant. That'd be very strange. Okay, thank God.

Yeah. You would know. I would never get pregnant behind your back. you so much and keep it but you wait you would get pregnant and no no no no no no no no no no no no never no if i got pregnant in any sort of fashion keeping it or not i would tell you thank you if i was trying to have a baby i would tell you thank you if it was a mistake i would tell you thank you if i was jesus's new mommy, I would tell you. You have to. I absolutely would. Yeah.

I would never have a Messiah and not tell you. That'd be crazy. Wouldn't it be? People would be like, do you know Nicole as the new Mary? And I'm like, what? And I'm like, people are worshiping my son. You didn't tell me? You missed it.

Sorry. That makes so much sense with Deuteronomy now. Deuteronomy would be a messiah. Wait, Sashir, what if I called you and I was like, I'm pregnant? Same thing. I'd be like, do you want me to come over? Do you want to talk about it? How do you feel? I really love that we're treating pregnancy like a crisis.

Are you okay? Let's talk. It's a lot. If you don't actually want a child and then you get pregnant, it's like, okay, an accident must have happened. Now a decision needs to be made. What do you need? And then even when you make a decision, there's a lot of emotions around it. Regardless of if you've always decided you don't you want to be childless or what have you just as a lot there's a lot happening with your body and

with your mind so yeah i wonder if in real life you called me and you were like i'm pregnant i would have been like i'm not falling for that again what is this april fool's day in july oh no i i i still regret doing that it wasn't very nice no it's maybe the meanest prank anyone's ever done to me uh i know um just because i like really snapped in a way that i've never snapped and i was like i'm here to help you are really in crisis mode yeah I think I'm good in a crisis you are which is nobody saw that coming yeah I don't know you like laser focus or something I think it's the ADHD and that was even before I was medicated yeah this is this is true. Yeah. Yeah. Nicole, I'm pregnant.

All right. Well, we're in this together. What do you need? I was ready to, like, move in with you and, like, help you raise this kid if you wanted to. Yeah. And I was like, April Fools. And you let it go for so long. I did.

I know. Like an hour. No, it couldn't have been an hour. Listen, I don't know time. It was too long. You were right. But I let you sit with it. And then I was like, ha, ha, ha, April Fool's.

And you were like, what the fuck? I know. When I saw how serious you were, I was like, oh. Oh, this is a bad joke. I shouldn't have done that. But it probably proved I'm a really great friend. It did. Loyal through and through.

Through and through. Yes. Yeah, I'd take a bullet for you. Wow. And I'd raise a kid for you. I really appreciate that. And honestly, if you asked me to kill someone, I'd think about it. All right, well, let's cut that out.

You wouldn't kill for me? I ideally won't kill for me i ideally won't kill but what do you mean for you like are you asking me to kill someone you call me 1 a.m you can't have someone to murder during the day because then i'll just really think about it but you know sleep on it um but yeah if you were like this lady did if someone did something so egregious to you and so baffling and so bad and nasty let's do it whoa okay i don't yeah yeah i guess i shouldn't have brought this up during the day

yeah this is a 1 a.m. conversation. Yeah. Let's go down together. All right, next question. And just to answer the question earlier, an in-clinic abortion can cost up to around $800 in the first trimester. So it does cost money and it can go up from there. Yeah, that's kind of expensive yeah 800 rulers yeah

hello nicole and sashir first off i love you both and you make every wednesday a great day now down to a serious matter last night i had a dream where i was talking with sashir i told her i had the feeling that i was a difficult person to be friends with and that I was exhausting. Sashir confirmed that feeling and said that sometimes I do come off as needy and she needs a break. So my questions are, how do I stop being a needy, exhausting friend? Also, how do I stop an anxiety dream like this from happening and making me feel like I've let down a person I admire but've never met. Any advice is welcome. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I'm this way. I'm trying to be better. I hope all of you have a great day dreaming in Minneapolis. Wow. I wonder if they know sleepless in Seattle. um i know i'm a lot and i'm very needy i think sometimes i'll just be like is this a lot am i

being too much i feel like i've asked you that before um yeah i think you can just ask people. Yeah. Um, and I don't know if you can stop anxiety dreams. No. But I don't think you have to or need to unless it really feels like it's affecting you. But sometimes dreams can be good indicators of things that are irking you in your subconscious and like something you might already be feeling. irking you in your subconscious and like something you might already be feeling so it's possible maybe you yourself are feeling in other areas that you're too much or or um exhausting or something and maybe figure out where that's stemming from and if it's with a specific friend in your life you can ask um yeah and sometimes it's nice to ask because there are times where you have backed off without asking me and and then i'm like what's happening i feel you're being distant

you're like oh i didn't want to be a bother i thought i was being too much or whatever and i'm like ask me because i didn't i wouldn't have said that i Mm-hmm. I think it's sometimes scary because it's like, I know my brain goes, if I ask if I'm being too much, there is a chance you might say yes. And then I go, well, where do I go from there? And my therapist says to me a lot, she's like, stop making up answers that you don't know the answer to. Like, what's the point of doing that? Just ask. Yeah. Like, I didn't like my hair once. And the woman who braids my hair, a very kind, loving,

wonderful woman. She's like, she gives mom energy. She's so nice. And my therapist is like, what do you think is going to happen when you tell her that you want your hair changed? And I was like that she'll never braid my hair again. She's like, and if that happens, you don't want that person braiding your hair. And I was like, OK. So then my hair again. She's like, and if that happens, you don't want that person braiding your hair. And I was like, okay. So then I told her and she was like, yeah, come in tomorrow. And that was it. And I was like, huh. And then she was like, before you leave the shop, just tell me. And I was like, huh.

So I guess I get not wanting to like voice am I too much because someone might go, yes. Yeah. But also that can become self-awareness. Yeah. To be like, oh, I'm acting like I'm too much again. So maybe I dial it back a bit. But also that can become self-awareness. Yeah. To be like, oh, I'm acting like I'm too much again. So maybe I dial it back a bit, but also just ask. Yeah. Because maybe the person, if they do say yes, might have suggestions.

Like, I mean, hopefully, ideally, like hopefully it's not a blanket. Yes, you're being too much. But it's like, yeah, when you call me at 1 a.m. and talk about, like, your murder plans, it's, like, interrupting my sleep. Maybe don't do that all the time. Or, like, you know, there might be a specific thing that you're like, you know what? I won't call you at 1 a.m. anymore to talk about who I'm trying to murder or whatever. All right. But I did send shovels to your house.

See? Again, that's a little too much. Oh, that's too much? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Solved! Solved.

If you would like things solved, you can email us at nicoleandsashir at gmail.com. You can call, you can text, you can leave a voice note. 424-645-7003. We also have merch at podswag.com slash bestfriends. We have transcripts for our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at earwolf.com.

Lastly, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. That is the easiest way to support this show. Well, Sashir, I've really enjoyed our time together. I have also enjoyed our time together. Murder. No. All right, fine. Honestly, that might help you in court me saying no yeah because it's recorded well it's not gonna help you oh no i hope no no one in my

life goes missing well that sounds incriminating, too. Oh, no. Oh, no. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.