Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Can't Wait To See Missy Elliott!

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

Hello Friends. Nicole and Sasheer talked about hot dogs for a long time. Sasheer had a hotdog at Costco. Nicole would love to have a date at Costco. Sasheer learns that Nicole is down to clown on a date. Nicole had a hard time sleeping. Sasheer suggests some potential reasons for the rough sleep. Nicole gets excited to catch up on her sleep. Sasheer hurt her wrist just living. Nicole doesn’t want to get old for that same reason. Nicole keeps going on shopping sprees on Ebay. Sasheer is excited to see Missy Elliott on her first headlining tour with Ciara and Busta Rhymes. Nicole can’t wait to flip it and reverse it! They share their fav songs on Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter album and Nicole shares that one time she met Dolly Parton! They answer your listener questions about mixing friendship and business as well as figuring out the proper sex party protocol for safe spaces.  No BuzzFeed quiz this week.   Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

hello hi nicole hi sashir how are you i'm good how are you i'm great we had a whole conversation this morning about hot dogs for a very long time yeah i laughed in the middle of it because i was like oh wow we're still talking about hot dogs but i was fully invested well i finally figured out why i'm not like huge on dogs in public yeah but because you explained to the listeners oh oh yeah yeah nope uh i came to that conclusion and i'm really glad I did. No, because I love a grilled dog with that crispy yum yum outside and that juicy flavor burst in the middle. And sometimes it like pops in your mouth

and you're like, oh, that's salty liquid. It's so yummy. And then when you get them out in the world, they're not like that. Yeah, sometimes it's like a boiled dog and it's like why did you think that was enough yeah what are we doing if you're offering a dog you gotta grill it up grill it up grill it up and i went to costco i went to costco today and i was like i gotta get a dog and it was so tasty it was really great. And it was on a sesame seed bun. I don't think I've seen a sesame seed hot dog bun.

Me either. Costco is different. You know? Costco is different. They also have soft serve. Did you get soft serve? I didn't get soft serve. I was like, I'm not at the point of my ice cream eating journey where I can finish a whole serving yet.

I did get a sample of ice cream because they were sampling ice cream in the frozen food aisle. So I was like, I don't know. But I didn't get a whole serving. You know what? I think the next person I date, go on multiple dates with, I think I'm going to see

if they have a Costco membership and go to Costco and like walk around and have samples. It is. You can spend a whole day there. It's really fun. And then end at the food court for a little dessert

or the entree. The entree. Yeah, have an appetizer around the aisles. Oh my God. I like it. It's fucking romantic. I like it.

I like weird dates where you're like, I would never do this by myself or but like it's weird and silly and if you like it that's a good sign that's what i think because i'm down to clown you know me honk honk i'm fucking bozo over here yeah I'm out let's get a fucko silly dude yeah a circus is a good idea for a day too I want to go to the universe so circus I don't know if it still exists though I don't either I haven't seen it since I was a child. We have talked about this before. So we do know the answer, but I don't remember what it is.

I don't either. Oh, Lord Jesus. Lord Jesus. Um, you had a bunch of errands today and I had a meeting get canceled today. And you were like, do some self care,

leave the house. Do I? Okay. Here's what i did i woke up set up to watch 90 day fiance for another podcast ate a salad and then i took a nap okay did you actually watch the show no i didn't watch a single thing i see i i even moved locations so i was on the couch to watch it and then i got up and i was like what if i laid down and watch it and then i didn't even set up the computer i closed the computer and then got in bed and went to sleep it seems like you really weren't even trying to watch it you're like yeah this will work i'll just get under the covers close my eyes not even open my laptop mission accomplished um but i am so refreshed in a way that i haven't felt in a while i think i needed a nap yeah sometimes your body will let you know naps are also productive thank

you okay now i don't feel good um because last night I have trouble sleeping. So I took a sleeping pill last night. And I took one the night before, but not the night before. And I think I might get better sleep when I don't sleep through the night, which doesn't make any sense. Because when I don't sleep through the night, I know I'm sleeping. Because I woke up in the middle of the night. And then I have to get back to sleep. So I know I went to sleep.

But with a sleeping pill, you just go to sleep and wake up. So I'm like, did I sleep? But I know I did. This doesn't make sense. So wait, so if you wake up within the sleep, you know it was better because you're aware of it? I think so. I think my brain goes, wow, you had to work at it.

So you did it. And then when it's easy and when I sleep through the night, I'm like, well, did I? I don't know if I'm actually rested. That was too easy. And I think my brain tricks my body into feeling like I haven't rested when I sleep through the night. Oh, wow. That's very interesting. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I mean, it's not crazy, crazy but it's like it should be easy ideally it should be when I when I like the first time I took a sleeping pill I was like wow what a treat this is amazing but now I'm like I wake up and I'm like I know I slept but I don't I don't know that I slept because I didn't wake up and it wasn't hard to go to sleep. I don't think I rested good enough. And then I'll be like kind of tired during the day.

Whoa. But then can't you also think like, oh, I didn't wake up at all during that sleep last night. So if I'm not aware of it, like if you were if you if you didn't get good sleep, you would be aware of it, right? Like you'd be awake for part of it. Yeah. And tossing and turning and like trying to get back to sleep. But I think my brain is like, Nicole, that's how you get rest. You have to work really hard at it.

Because I've had such trouble sleeping for so long. Yeah. Hmm. Lord, the body is a mystery. The is a mystery it's strange yeah what have you tried tricking your brain into thinking it's like like comparing it to when you drive to a place you know how to get to like when we drive to like work every day or this restaurant you know where you're going your brain kind of goes on autopilot and you're like how did i end up here wow i wasn't even paying attention

and like maybe it's like that your sleep is driving you to sleep land on autopilot but then if you're aware of it and you're looking at your phone trying to figure it out on maps being like where am i going then it's like oh this was too hard i must not be getting to the place to my destination the way i should be um okay i'll tell you what here's another thing i just thought of so i'll wake up at like 1 a.m and i'll go ah sick 1 a.m 1 2 2 3 3 to 4 4 to 5 5 to 6 6 7 7 8 8 to 9 that's that's the wait i just did it 6 7 8 that's eight more hours go. And then I get excited that I still have eight hours. And then if I wake up at five, I go five to six, six, seven, seven, eight, eight to nine. That's four more hours.

So then I'm like, got to catch up on these hours. Yeah. And I get like excited. But then when I go to sleep at like midnight or whatever and then wake up at nine, I'm like, huh, no more hours. I guess I'm rested. I guess I did it. Even though you woke up on every hour. Well, when I take the sleeping pill and I don't wake up on every hour, I'm like, oh, so I slept.

How many hours did I get? I guess I got up on every hour, I'm like, oh, so I slept. How many hours did I get? I guess I got them all. I guess it was like a Pokemon. Gotta catch them all. I managed to catch them and I caught all the hours of sleep. Well, I saw this one thing that said if you do wake up while you're sleeping, that you shouldn't look at the time. Because that makes your brain aware of when you need,

like that you even have to wake up eventually. Because if you're like, oh, I only have three more hours and your brain's like, well, it's only three hours. And then you may not actually get to full REM sleep where if you just don't even know what time it is, it's like, well, I should just go to sleep and let sleep happen, you know? My brain is different. So anytime I have to wake up at like 6 a.m.

My lovely assistant, Lindsay helps me wake up because I'm not good at waking up in the morning. She'll just text me to make sure that I'm awake. And I text her back that I'm awake. But if I wake up 15 minutes before that text, I will go back to sleep. Yeah. And I'll hit REM sleep. And then she'll have to call me 800

times and i'll be like yeah yeah don't worry i was in the shower i'm at the airport going through the gsa here's my passport sir and Once he's like, are you okay? That's really funny. But maybe that's right. Maybe I shouldn't look at my phone. Why not try? But also, you know, you know how your brain works.

Yeah, it's a dizzy little bitch. Also, my wrist hurts. Why? Because i did something in pole i don't know what i was doing but my wrist got a little funky funk what was it i don't know veronica believes in me too much and she's really been pushing me um and it's hard she wanted me to do this like weird fan kicky thing into like an inversion and truly it was so wild and i was like oh man that's crazy i don't think i can do that that's crazy damn dude damn dude wow you make it look so simple oh my god um but it was not simple it was really hard i could only do the first part. And I think maybe doing that, it got a little funky funk,

but it's like just a little, you know, like when you point, like it hurts a little to point and do that, which is like all movements. How often would I, how often are you flicking? You'd be surprised.

You would be surprised. For people who couldn't see that, because it's a podcast, I guess you were kind of flopping. Flopping my wrist and pointing. Flopping and pointing. I guess if you were holding a crystal ball, and you were like,

I want to look at all sides of this. It's when you turn your wrist to the most like opposite direction and you're holding it like a claw. Well, sometimes I do fun stuff with Clyde. And by fun stuff, I mean like I'll move my arms around crazy and scream at him. That is fun stuff. Who's my special boy?

Who's my woman?? Who's my woman? I call him a woman when he cries because he sounds kind of like a woman. I'll be like, mom! Aww. Yeah. It's only when I come home. He gets so excited to see me. That's nice.

Yeah. Sometimes I don't even have to be working out to hurt myself. I was sitting on a stool and just like pushed my weight on my wrist and then it hurt for two days oh no it's fine now but i was like i don't want to get old i hate this so sheer i don't want to get old either it doesn't seem fun like okay i was watching these videos that's like i don't know where was i i think i was on x formerly known as twitter and this man was interviewing old people and he was like what do you regret the most and all of the old people were like that thinking material things were important and not spending time with

loved ones and not appreciating my body when it was young i was like oh my god all that's coming for me like i don't want to get old and be crusty and have trouble getting up i don't want to be old and be surrounded by all my tchotchkes and be like it never brought me happiness because it did it does and i know it will yeah why are these old people saying that material things don't matter they do yeah they do i look at my pig that i got in New Orleans for $500. And it makes me happy. It brings me joy. Yeah. Maybe their taste sucks.

Maybe. Maybe. There's a bad things. Yeah. They're not buying spooky pig piggy banks and putting flowers in them. Where did you end up putting that family of ducks in Rainwear?

We're at some sort of thrift store and there's like a little family of it was like a mama duck and a bunch of little ducklings and they're all in like a rain jacket and umbrellas and you're like should i just get the big one or all of them i was like well you have to get the family you can't separate them i'm glad i didn't separate them because those poor little ducks would have been so sad all by themselves uh they're in my dining room do you remember the little woven leaf thing and then the woven jar that i gave you they took the place of that because i was like these ducks are more my speed i don't need this woven leaf thing nice yeah um i'm like excited to live more so I can find more weird shit. That's a good reason to live more. Like,

uh, I just love all my weird cookie jars. Like my, my fat cow with sunglasses, cookie jar, my cookie jar of a, a hot, sexy pig lady and a pig man with tattoos riding a motorcycle cookie jar

have you seen that one right i don't know if i have oh it's great and are there things inside of the cookie jars no um there is a speaker inside the cow there is um to like play through the cow or you take it no no i take it out of the cow that's just where it lives so it's not out all the time um and then in the hot uh pig motorcycle couple are wires uh to plug things up in uh nice they're my little storage i just recently got rid of so many wires and i'm really proud of myself i just like you too what there's like a whole basket full of wires and i was like some of them are repeats and some of them i was like i truly have no idea what this could go to i don't need it anymore if i haven't used it in seven years or like however

many years i don't need it and then i just got rid of them all where'd you take them to uh um like a fourth store oh thanks i think saint vincent depaul so maybe some it's also strange because i'm like who would buy it like someone gonna be like oh i needed this i don't even know what they're called wire i was gonna try to think The USC3 blah, blah, blah. Yeah, USC3 PCPO. Yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, I was in a thrift store once, and I bought a very small bag that I didn't need, placemats that I didn't need. But then I found a little cup for my toothbrush, which is what I did need.

And I'm sure when someone donated that little cup, they were like, whatever. Nobody, who needs this? Me. Me needed that yeah me needed that me needed that me needed um i need to uh donate some clothes because i went on like a little i mean it happens a lot i like keep going on little shopping sprees on ebay and finding really great deals and finding something for like $20 and being I'll pay you 15 and then pay 15 and then I get it and I'm like okay this is not the measurements that you said it was um this is

either too big or too small and then sometimes it fits perfectly like I got these white denim shorts I don't wear white denim but I'm gonna i've never seen it before no but then i bought they were 15 no they were eight and then i found a white sleeveless um like mock neck turtleneck that was five and i was like well i'm gonna get that and both of them seem like they fit and i'm like really excited about this bitch who is she in all white i mean brave so brave no i know i know whenever i see a woman wearing all white i i always go no matter what kind of white it is i go wow it's a real woman i think we yeah um june diane ray phil who was a guest on the show when like maybe our first season uh came to the studio in all white.

And I was like, wow, this is a classy lady. The first time I met her, she walked past me in a white trench coat, white pants and a white turtleneck. And I was like, oh, my God, she's a woman. And she's like brave. What if she eats? What if she eats? Does she live up? What if someone near her eats like if there's

so much risk in the world and she has kids and i'm like yeah they're not they're not gumming her up that's crazy that's power she taught them well she said you stand in front of me stay away from me don't run up to me with your grubby hands you You wash those before you come to me. Ugh, I just love it. I also, I'm branching into orange. I found orange jeans. And I was like, oh my God, am I going to wear orange jeans? And I tried them on. They fit pretty well.

And I was like, oh my God, I'm going to be that girl. Oh my God, people are going to yield to me. They're going to say, look at that traffic cone. Whoop, whoop, whoop. Whoop, whoop, that traffic on woman at work yes i don't think i knew that you can haggle on eBay. Mm-hmm. So some of them are straight up offer only,

or not offer only, it's like buy only. You can only buy it. But some of them will be listed for like $20 or best offer. And then you get to haggle. Ooh. And then they come back at you with another offer. And on Depop, if you put it in your cart to incentivize you to buy, they'll give you a little bit of a discount.

Oh, that's nice. She knows the tricks. I know the tricks. I know the tips. I know it. I couldn't think of another thing. I know it. Simply couldn't think of another thing.

I also bought these seashell shorts. This is sure they're beautiful. I bet. They're so beautiful. Is it like iron on seashells or like- No, bitch. Is it in the design? This is denim fabric with seashells on it.

Wow. I've said it before. I'll say it again. Modern clothing. with seashells on it. Wow. I've said it before. I'll say it again. Modern, modern clothing, modern clothing is boring. Yeah. How come I can't find seashells on jeans now?

I know. It sucks. Why can't I find striped denim? Why is it only like once in a while? It's like, here's some striped jeans. Give me striped jeans all day long and give me different colors of stripes.

That's true. Like, all I want, all I want, all I want is a denim bustier in a denim print with a matching bottom. Yeah. A matching short, a matching jean. Yeah. That's all I want. Mm-hmm. Is that so hard to ask for britney and justin from the

1999 vmas or whatever it was i have that dress fashion brand company made one and i bought it that's fun yeah it's so cute yeah i wore it for some press thing and a little hat that said bitch on it. Perfect. I love fun clothing. You know? Yeah. Oh my God, am I going to cry? See, those old people are wrong about material things that make you happy. Yeah, they make me so happy.

Look at how happy you are. I'm about to cry over used clothing on eBay. Like, what? Mm-hmm. But some people don't like shopping. Look at this. These stars? They're great.

Yeah. It's colorful stars. It's my big, dumb shirt I wear around the house. You don't have to wear a dumb, ripped shirt. You can wear a fun colorful one yeah you don't have to wear a dumb ripped shirts there's those are the only options a dumb ripped shirt or a fun colorful one my dad used to wear dumb ripped shirts around the house because i feel like he was like i don't want to waste my good clothes on the inside but i like looking at

my shit and being happy on the inside yeah see judith is looking at denim bustier sets this is all boring yeah they could be more fun those are kind of fun they're all patchy but i don't like the one they have holes in them no i don't want holes I want to work to put holes in my clothing. These holes have to be earned. Oh, wait. Did you ever get rid of that acid wash denim dress? No. It's still in my closet. Okay, good.

I'm hunting for one that looks similar. So we can work together. Yes, and I found one, and it fits in the titties, and it doesn't fit in the waist so i'm gonna see if i can get it altered because i found this lady who can who alters clothing like i gave her uh two pairs of shorts so i bought two pairs of each pair of shorts and she's putting them together and we had a fitting the other day and she made them too big so we could like work in in and it's very exciting for me so i'm gonna see if she'll fix up this dress so we

can wear it at the same time and then i'll allow you to get rid of it okay great maybe we can wear it at the missy concert oh my god yes so sheer i asked you if you wanted to go you said yes i didn't even ask you what your price range was i just bought the closest tickets and then backtracked it was like hey you could just pay me whatever you want i mean this is what the total is but um if you don't want to if you don't want to pay that that's fine because i didn't ask i just want to be so i wanted to be so close to her yeah i mean it makes sense to me i have no problem with that i'll pay whatever to see her god i can't wait to flip it and reverse it i am so excited she has bops on bops on bops oh god and then bustin sierra gonna be there too yes sierra

oh god i'm so glad and sierra's doing a meet and greet for 250 which i think is kind of low really low right so low yeah but i don't know what i would say to sierra hello yeah that's a great start that is a great start let me just one two step on over here next to you. Oh, man. I bet she's never heard that. Oh, God. That's funny. I better one, two, step over to you, Sierra. God, I'm so excited. She's got so many hits.

Do you think she's going to bring out that girl who's now an adult to dance? I think it'd be fun. I don't know. I don't know if that girl. I think it'd be fun i don't know i don't know too i think she dances still um because i know she did that missy performance for mtv whenever that was years ago god that was such a fun performance and just think we're gonna get like two hours of that so sure i'm so excited i'm really excited and it's all the way in july i know it seems so far i know but it's already april can you believe i kind of can't it's wild yes

oh god oh god what's 2025 gonna bring i think yule time joy the whole year will be the whole year i think 2025 is gonna be good um usually i feel like i usually i think the odd no the even number years are like my years but maybe the rest of this year will be like really really amazing yeah yeah okay this is april okay here's my prediction okay i think after the missy elliott concert everything is gonna be better i certainly will feel better. I know that. Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I mean, what if she wears like, okay, so she recently recreated her iconic outfits from all her music videos.

Oh, yeah. And I was like, oh my God, what if she did that for this tour? That'd be really nice. What if they double dutch with her hair? Like in that video? That would be so great. I really hope. Oh my God.

I really hope. I want all the references. I want all the throwbacks. I want all of it. My God, I'm so excited. Do you think Tweet will come out? Ooh, that'd be fun. Oh my God, imagine.

Yeah. I'm so excited. So excited. Oh my my god missy elliott supersonic i also saw beyonce had like beyonce supposed to be announcing something soon i think and people were like please don't be a tour we are poor we have we just spent all our money on your last tour please don't be a tour yeah i mean i do think it would be really wild if she went right back out on tour um but i'm ready for the hoedown i mean i gotta dance these songs wait i gotta wear a cowboy hat i would like to wear a cowboy i gotta do a line dance to these songs. Have we talked about her album? I don't think we have. I don't think we have.

Okay. Some people don't like Jolene. I like Jolene. I think it's like Becky with the good hair part two. And I think that's what she was trying to do. So I am a fan. I like her voice on it. My favorite tweet about it was

about how Post Malone and Miley Cyrus like had their black eras. And then Beyonce said, no, no, y'all belong over here. Let me steer you right back to where you're supposed to be. It made me laugh so hard. But her voice and Miley's voice is great. Sounds so good. I hope they perform that live together.

Me too. At some point. Because, yeah, they sound amazing together um and then yaya i think is where she samples uh these boots are made for walking i screamed in my car because in the fifth grade me and my girl scout troop did a performance to these boots are made for walking so we don't listen to it over and over and over again and then i love listening to stuff over and over and over again so i i would love listening to stuff over and over and over again. So I would just play it on my own and then just like dance around,

especially the last part. It's like, and I just, oh, I said, Beyonce, you're speaking to baby Nicole. Yeah.

I mean, the Blackbird cover, I think is so beautiful. And I love that song. Anyway, I was already, that was, that's one of my songs that i listened to over and over and over again when i was like she did a blackbird cover oh my god i had never heard it before in my whole life um but i liked it so much it's so pretty bodyguard is so good. Yeah. And I still like 16 Carriages. Riverdale.

Yeah. I really think it's a really fun album. Yeah. She does some really weird stuff. Like weird in a good way. Like weird musically. Yeah. It doesn't sound like anything else. No. That's why she said I'm not putting out a country album.

I am putting out a Beyonce album. Bitch, you have your own genre i love it i love it do you think she'll want to come on the podcast or promote it i think i asked that about renaissance too i mean probably i don't know if enough people know about it yeah i think we just gotta like get the get the album out there get people to talk about it um and i love dolly parton she's like it's dolly p yeah i love dolly honeybee it's dolly p so sweet and adorable have ever told you about when i met dolly parton i don't think so okay so dolly parton came to a ucb mod night what because uh her doctor's son was a writer on mod night and mod night is the sketch comedy teams at the upright citizens brigade theater and my team was up with that that her her doctor's son's team and we were all backstage

getting ready and someone runs out and goes dolly parton's in the audience and we were like no and they were like yes and i was like okay dolly parton sat dead center hair coiffed full makeup in a big bright pink outfit looking the most dolly you've ever fucking seen her and i i clocked her and i said nicole just perform and i did a sketch called ronda the condom keeper which was a lady a lady named ronda who had a lot of questions for you before she opened the locked condom case um really funny and it's a really funny sketch i think it was by lauren mcguire and afterwards dolly wanted to meet us all because she had such a good time and i very rarely get starstruck um but dolly parton really did it for me because she is like

a life-size fucking barbie and she's a legend and she's got an amusement park named after her um and she came back stage and she was like y'all were so funny and she looks at me and she's a legend and she's got an amusement park named after her um and she came back to age and she was like y'all were so funny and she looks at me and she's like i'd buy a condom from you and i went okay and she just looked at me and i looked at her and I didn't know how to be like, I can't say anything else to you. I'm really sorry. Okay. Okay. Like we took a picture together and I'm smiling so hard. It's all of us together.

Um, but yeah, this woman just wanted to talk to me and I couldn't do it. Oh, that's so cute. Okay. And I'm sure my eyes went dead and I was like, oh, no. And she's like, I won't use her for anything.

She's dumb as hell. Yeah. Never mind. Never mind. I don't want to talk to her. Wow. That's great. I'm surprised she was in full glam because i feel like usually people tell

stories about her being incognito like with a different wig and like normal clothes when she's out and about but maybe she was being dolly somewhere else and had to come out right after yeah maybe or maybe she was like i want him to know that i'm here i'm supporting yeah yeah that's so supportive to go to your doctor's son's show i don't know my doctor's family life i think that's what it was yeah i could be wrong about that but i'm 99 sure that's what it was yeah um yeah i don't know anything about my doctor no yeah i don't even know if she has children yeah i don't know anything about my doctor. Mm-mm. No. Yeah, I don't even know if she has children. Yeah.

I don't think we've ever gotten to a point where we needed to talk about that. No. But I guess if Dolly Parton was your patient, you would tell your family, and then you would bring your kids to meet Dolly Parton, the patient. Yeah, and maybe if it's like she've been, she's been seeing this person for decades or something and they became friends and shared stories. That's very sweet.

Right? My goodness. Wow. Should we turn to the public and see if they have any questions or queries? Yes, let's turn to the public. Oh my god, imagine if we hosted like an NPR show. What would your NPR voice sound like? Maybe a little something like this. Oh, Sashir, that's nice.

I think it's nice. In NPR, it sounds like they are deep-throating the microphone. Like it sounds like they are so close to the mic. And just so soft and so gentle. So gentle and pronounce all of the words. But I mean, it does make for nice listening it does they figured something out they did well we're not npr we're here to answer questions and queries hi nicole and sashir um this is verity i love your show um my ex-best friend actually introduced me to it when we drove across country,

and we listened to the whole Best Friends podcast there and back. So it was just like 24 hours, and I love it. So I have a question about money and friends. My friend started a side business of doing a photo booth, and I helped out one time, and I just loved it. Like, it was super fun. I had a great time, and I was just like, this is so much fun. I'd love to help out.

I was also trying to get sober at the time, and so I needed something that was, like, a little bit wholesome and kept me busy to kind of, you know, help in my sobriety. And so, like, I just started helping out. And, you know, I was like, you guys don't have to pay me. Don't worry about it. I'm just happy to help out or, you know, get your business off the ground. Okay, so it's almost like a year later. I've been doing so many events, and things are starting to ramp up again.

And they had me do a couple events by myself of course it's nowhere near as fun as when I do it with my friends and so and it's just gotten a lot harder and I also am like hey I think you need to start paying me and it's and it's kind of weird and I struggle with money and I'm also like like like I said, I'm newly sober and so like, you know, everything, I'm a little, I'm a little sensitive right now

and so I just want to talk to them about it and I'm trying to figure out a way to bring it up without being ungrateful because they've been so supportive of like me getting sober and just like, you know,

we've been friends for like 10 years and it's a couple like, you know, I've been there for their kids. Like I'm really, you know, we've been friends for like 10 years and it's a couple like, you know, I've been there for their kids. Like I'm really, you know, I feel part of their family or part of their village. And I do want to keep doing it. I just think if I'm going to do it by myself or continue, I just need to get paid. I definitely make way less money for them. And I know, I feel like they'll be okay with it.

I just also know they're going to give me crap about it, which I think I'm just feeling really sensitive about it. So I guess my question is, you know, having those tough money conversations with friends, like have, you know, I could use any suggestion. I love this podcast. It makes me laugh so hard. It makes me laugh so hard. Also, Nicole, ADHD is a wonderful, magical beast. And people who rag on you for hitting curbs, that's what they're there for. That's their job to get hit. So you're using them appropriately.

Okay, thank you, guys. I wish you all the best. Blessings. That's nice. The other day, I hit two cars and left my car on the curb um i really thought i had a little bit more room than i did in my car and i was like doof and i was like oh no and then i was like doof i was like oh no and i went and i was like oh and i was like well that's it for me and i got out of that car and left it seems like i should finish here um i think it's hard to have conversation with friends especially ones that you like care about

because you're like what if they get mad at me and never talk to me again um which is in the back of my mind anytime i'm like advocating for myself within friendship truly no problem in business don't know why but then like mixing friendship in business that's tough um i think you can say i've been thinking about this i've been a little sensitive and so i didn't really know how i was gonna go over but when i work alone it is like not it's not it's work and it's not like a fun hangout time. And it's like, it's, you know, a lot of my time. So I was wondering if we could work out like a payment for this. And if you are not feeling that,

then I think I can only work when you guys are working. I like that. I mean, this feels pretty like cut and dry. Like it's like, like she's doing work. This is a business. It's not like, it's not like, oh, nothing seems unclear. They're making money. They probably have like tax forms to fill out.

It's a business. Yeah. So if she's working, especially if she's working alone and this party is paying the business for her to work at that event, she should get paid. So I kind of feel like I don't know what could even get confused there. Like, I don't even know what they could possibly come back with. Yeah. And it sucks that she feels like that they will give her a tough time about it. Because I don't again, I don't know what tough time could be given.

It's a business she is working. So I think, yeah, I think you can definitely say, I'm so glad that this has gotten off the ground. I'm so proud to be a part of the beginning of it. I think if I'm going to be working alone, at all really i i would like to start getting paid for this i think my my contribution deserves to get paid and i guess if there's pushback i don't know i don't even know how i would take that i'd be like that makes zero sense you guys are getting paid you're doing the exact same thing i'm doing yeah um i wonder if it's like you know how people are like jeff bezos should make billions amazon was his idea and i'm like but he's not the one doing any

of the work right like do you know what i mean so like yeah they might be like well it's our idea so like we don't it's not big enough for us to pay people but it's like but if you need help it is big enough for you to pay people yeah um yeah i mean it's her time like time is money it's not like they're they're just showing like setting it up and people can use the photo booth without a person if that's the case yeah then i guess they don't need an employee but this person is doing work. Yeah, and she's newly sober and is taking time away from her discovering stuff sober, like mountains, friends, pools,

animals, roller skates, roller coasters, teddy bears, eBay, going to the dentist. Yeah, maybe they didn't go to the dentist before they were sober or maybe they were wasting their time yeah giving free labor at this photo booth yeah i i think i think i think i'm kind of like, just ask.

I really can't imagine. You are in the right to ask. But maybe you can have a precursor of like, you know, you could even say this is awkward for me. Like, talking about money is awkward. And I'm so grateful for the opportunity you even gave me to like have something to do while I'm trying to figure out my sobriety. And I would like to start getting paid for this yeah i do think you need the precursor because i don't think it's a bad thing but a lot of times people when you like go to them with like oh i i would like something because you're not providing it people think it's like an indictment on them and it's like oh so i'm bad for not paying you and it's like no no you just didn't think of it but also i don't know why they didn't think of it i think that's crazy i'm always

offering to pay people for stuff i mean i think the caller did say they offered to work for free at first they're like you don't even have to pay me i'll just do it which not a great instinct but that's what happened so yeah oh yeah mention i know i said i would work for free yeah but this is a little bit more time consuming than i thought it would be yeah so i was thinking you could pay me for the for my time now but if you don't want to then i have to step away yeah i like that yeah yeah solved baby let's do another oh good night nicole good night sashir i hope you're both doing well you're the best and you're bathing breakout change the lives of so many of your white listeners. Every time I bend over and soap up my toes,

I think about all the white people who are in the shower at the same time as me not doing that. And I'm like, but it's so easy. Like I have a pretty small shower and I can bend down. And I don't have a little foot thing, but I can do it. I get down there. Also because it feels so good when I scrub. It does. All the skin on my body.

And so I don't understand only doing that for my torso. Yeah. And I recently added an extra layer. Now I do a scrub. So I wash with my utensil, my tool, my towel. And now I've got this like yummy scrub stuff that i scrub on my elbows and on my knees and my shins and my butt my butt is so fucking soft right now i can't even like i i would it's so soft that i would think about letting you see it and touch it i do have a pretty racy

question i've gotten into the lifestyle over the past year. And boy, oh boy, do I love me some sex parties. You know what? I didn't realize we went back to the letter. I really thought you were starting. I thought you had a racy question. Oh. There was no division between you talking and the letter.

Whoopsie daisy. that's really funny i don't think i would ever preface something with i have a racy question just i can see you doing that you think i think i think you just probably launch into it but if it was really racy if it was your racy to your standards then i'd be like oh gotta hold on to my hats what is this year i have a racy question should i let should i let i'm trying to think have a racy question. Should I let, should I let, I'm trying to think of a racy question. Should I let, ooh, should I let someone put a souffle in my asshole and suck it out?

A souffle, won't that be hot? I don't, yeah, I guess so. Wow, thanks for being there for me. I guess that's a no. Yeah, that's a. Wow. Thanks for being there for me. I guess that's a no. Yeah. Yeah, that's a no on my vote. Okay. Okay, back to the letter.

Boy, oh boy, I love me some sex parties. For me, race doesn't add or detract value in a potential partner, but interracial couplings are definitely fetishized by some folks. but interracial couplings are definitely fetishized by some folks. For me, I love when men show obvious enthusiastic desire. And honestly, as a curvy white woman, that desire does seem to come more frequently from black men. I didn't really think of anything of it at first, but I do avoid parties that wholly center interracial stuff because race play turns me off.

I love praise, but please don't compliment my pink pussy yikes recently some hosts invited me to a party and while the hosts were super sweet and welcoming only a small fraction of the guests seemed happy i was there one stranger became a friend but he was visiting from out of town nobody else cared to acknowledge me or engage in convo i was the only white person there which didn't bother me but i didn't want to encroach on someone's safe space and the kinky world can be overwhelmingly white sometimes i noticed and after trying a few failed entries into chats i just uh i did just spend my time with the out of town hottie after a bit a few guests i

knew came so i chilled out so i chilled with them for a while, then saw myself out early. My questions. I've been invited back, but I don't know if I should go. It seems rude to return where I'm not wanted. Alternatively, I could show up much later when my friends go, and maybe that introduction to the group would prevent some of the awkwardness. It's tough in these streets when you're not a night owl. Things start so late, or maybe I'm being crazy and just need to sit through the initial awkwardness. I've been trying to convince myself I'm being silly, but then one of my FWBs,

friends with benefits, told me that one woman in that group, one that I know and that we get along fine, yelled at him at a party once for fucking all the white women. And honestly, I'm not mad at that anger. Makes sense to me. And I'm sure it's frustrating. Love you both and your work. Thank you so much for all you do. I am not a sex party frequenter. But what I've heard from people who frequent sex parties is that it is like not the most inviting space for black people. So black people have had to create their own safe spaces in the kink world. So I honestly think you could reach out to the host and ask, is this a black specific kink party? And was I invited, you know, because I'm like a little curve.

You actually don't even have to bring that up. It just be like, I just want to make sure that I'm not encroaching on the space if it's supposed to be a safe space for black people. I think, yeah, I. I like that. And, and even if the host is like, no, it's fine. I like you.

Just come. If you get a vibe that that's actually not the case, I think you can trust that and maybe not encroach. Because also, I guess I don't know the order of operations of sex parties, but if you come in and the vibe's not right, and then you're trying to have sex with these people, I feel like you're already climbing up a mountain that's never going to end. That is tough.

That's really funny. Walking to a party where everyone hates you and you're like, okay, so y'all want to fuck? Yeah. Can I kiss you? I know you just gave me a side eye, but do you want my tits? Do you want me fuck yeah like can i kiss you okay i know you just gave me a side eye but like do you want do you want to suck on your titty yeah that's so funny um i agree but i do think email the host yeah see what the host says and then go with your friends

because people might think you're a loose white lady with no ties um so if you go who does this white lady belong to what lady is this we got a loose white over here but maybe go with your friends so people go oh that's an ally that she's friends with our people yeah um yeah that's something that's funny that the writer was like but this thing starts so late, which is like, I want, are there like afternoon sex parties? Yeah.

I was like, yeah, yeah. Dipper hosts one called drain your nut. And I've been begging to do coat check there, but he was like, it's a safe space for male identified people. And he was like,

and that has been like a promise and it breaks it if you come. And I was like, even for coat check, I just want to work coat check i just want to like i just want to handle coats and and like be like hey have fun in there and then when i give your coat back be like did you have fun do you want to tell me a little bit about it um but like can you imagine if you're the first face these men see when they walk these gay men see when they walk in they're like oh hi nicole fire okay well i guess i'll just go ahead and try to be chill now i mean that would that's like my dream as someone is like fucking entering somebody else like you know butt fucking somebody going did you see nicole

byer up like that is a dream come true like i just want to be talked about while someone is railing another person specifically two men that was nicole byer right or do you think that was a drag queen they're like oh i'm coming i don't know i'll'll go check. Like, I just, it's, it's like a fantasy. It's just like, it would feel really good, you know? Because gay men are my, I love gay men. That's your demographic, yeah. They're my people. I also love gay ladies, but gay men, they've really supported me.

Like, I will say this, gay men have supported me from the jump. And I will forever be grateful for them. And I really want someone to fuck somebody asking them a question about me. Like, that's a dream. Another dream to be on Jeopardy as a question while two people are fucking. And they're like, Nicole Byer. Who is Nicole Byer? as a question while two people are fucking and they're like nicole byer who is nicole byer so all these dreams are just people fucking and saying your name i just want to be thought about

with sex is that too much to ask for no it's not too much i believe i'm sure it's already happened honestly oh i hope sometimes people send me grinder screenshots where people be like, Oh, I listened to no coal buyers podcast. And they're like, Oh me too. And then they're like, we have a thing in common.

And that brings me so much joy. You're the thing in common. I love that. Well, solved. I think. Yeah. Don't be a loose white.

Oh no. If you have any questions or queries or want to talk about any loose whites in your life, you can email Nicole and Sashira at gmail.com or call or text or leave a voice message at 424-645-7003. And if you want to wear a shirt with my face on it while you fuck and go, Nicole Byer. We also have, and Sashir Zameda.

We have merch at pod swag.com slash best friends. Oh my God. If you're best friends with your partner, cut the shirt in half. So you're each wearing one side. And then you can find each other during the party. Yes! If you want to read any of our transcripts out loud

at the party while you're getting railed, we have transcripts on our show page at Earwolf.com. Lastly, don't forget, while you're sucking a dick, to take a break, rate, review, and subscribe, and then continue to completion. It's the easiest way to support the show. All right.

All right. Happy fucking, everyone. Signing off. From outside a sex party, it's been Nicole Byer. And Sashira Zameda. Wow.