Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Does Not Like a Whale Tail

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Hello? Can you hear us? This week, Nicole and Sasheer discuss enjoying ass-mer (asmr), mixed feelings on showing your underwear, an orgasmic experience at the LA Philharmonic, what they enjoyed about Black Forever… wait actually Wakanda Forever, Nicole’s vision for the future of malls, the new trash cans on Sasheer’s block, and more. We play another round of “Zillow For A Dillow,” and answer a listener question about getting your straight male friends to open up.  Here is the LA Philharmonic audio - https://twitter.com/wiife_material/status/1652730918333739008?s=20 Zillow For a Dillow:House #1 - https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2171-Moody-Rd-N-Odessa-WA-99159/2057908345_zpid/?utm_campaign=zillowgonewild&utm_medium=zillowgonewild&utm_source=zillowgonewildHouse #2 - https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1985-Tunnel-Rd-Berkeley-CA-94705/24820805_zpid/?utm_source=zillowgonewild&utm_medium=zillowgonewild&utm_campaign=zillowgonewild Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions/ “Is this weird” suggestion at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

hello what was that oh i said hello wow i really can't hear you. You can't hear me? Hello. I think it like cut out maybe. You said hello. Hello. Oh, hello. How are you? I'm good.

How are you? I'm good. I don't know why I started whispering. I don't either, but that's okay. Should we talk normal? Yeah, probably. Yeah. I don't think people would enjoy a whole episode of us whispering.

But some people like it, I think. It's ASMR. Mm-hmm. Asthma. Asthma. Do you enjoy asthma? Asthma? one time i there was a like some sort of women's like wellness workshop or something and there was a room that was like an asmr room and then a woman was in the room and she would like bring things to my ear and be like, this is a brush from MAC Cosmetics.

And it has really stiff bristles at the top and a wood base. And then would like tap on it in my ear. And then she'd rub the brush on my arm. And like, does that feel nice? And I'm like, it does feel nice. And I mean, the tactile part was nice. Because it was like, I don't know, like tinkly feelings. But then I was like, well, do I want this random lady doing that? Or my lover?

It was like, like it wasn't sexual but I was like I mean it could why why is she touching me so softly I guess that that could be a thing that people want from anyone and not necessarily someone who might do more stuff to them sounds like a threat somebody who might do more stuff to them. Sounds like a threat. Somebody who might do more stuff to them. I guess like sexually. Oh my God, are you going to do more stuff to me? Is this going to lead to more stuff?

The next time I hook up with someone, I'm going to scream them. I'm going to scream it. I'm right in their face. Is this going to lead to more stuff? And I'm going to see how well they take it. And if they don't take it well, I guess. I guess no more stuff.

Yeah, I guess no more stuff. Or I'd be like, oh, I can quiet down. Was it the loudness you didn't like? Yeah, you gotta be like, it's going to lead to more stuff. Yeah, will this lead to more stuff? Oh, God. I'm the least sexiest person I know. And that's okay with me.

Okay. Are you forcing that to be okay with me? I feel like you really yelled that at me. Okay. All right. Is this gonna lead to more stuff this year? Not now. Not anymore. okay all right is this gonna lead to more stuff not now not anymore oh i want another tattoo really bad didn't you just get one or was the last one you got with me the last one i got was with you

and that was like maybe a year ago really i don't know i have no idea i guess yeah maybe it was a year ago i don't remember it feels like yesterday and also years ago okay here's the thing it's 2023 that feels insane to me i was like 2020 was just around the river bend and there was a whole 2021 a whole 2022 and we were midway through 2023 it's gonna be 2024 ew isn't that nut that's freaking nuts dude truly so wild i don't know what to do time won't stop it never will i keep referring to things that are from the early 2000s as the 90s because that feels right you know i'm like yeah from the 90s and i'm like oh no wait i guess it's the 2000s i guess it was i guess i've lived many decades what are you what are you referring to what was it seventh heaven

because that's definitely the 2000s you talking to somebody about seventh heaven i i assure you i wasn't okay making sure i don't know what i was talking about but i was just saying something from the nineties. And I was like, I guess it wasn't nineties. I guess it was the two thousands. I mean, I don't know what that is.

It just feels like I'm, I'm omitting a decade because I don't want to believe I've been alive that long. It is truly wild. It's like when you go to Target and you're like, oh, I wore all of this in high school and now it's back. Yeah. And I'm happy about it because I can wear whatever I want now

because I don't have parents. Nobody tells me what to do. I'm a grown up. I'm going to buy those Steve Madden slides. You remember that? I bought them. I bought them. those Steve Madden slides.

You remember them? I bought them. I bought them. But it does make me feel so old to be like, oh, it's all just back. It's all just back. You know what I don't want to come back is like the tops of thongs coming out of jeans. Why not?

It just looks so trashy oh my word i love it and i want it to come back and i want them to make it in plus size and i don't think they will i think they're gonna say keep your underwear under your clothes fatty which is rude i want people to know I'm wearing underwear. I have multiple layers on. Multiple. I don't have pussy just grinding on denim. I'm wearing underwear. But like, not really. Like a thong under jeans? What are we doing?

Like, what is the benefit of that? It's not even... Like, in my mind, the purpose of a thong is like no panty lines but your cooch is still covered but in jeans you're gonna see panty lines anyway i guess unless they're like super tight i guess is that the that's what thongs are that it's for no panty lines that's what i thought i guess there could be other reasons but i don know. I'm not a thong wearer. I really only wear thongs when I don't want to show up anyway. Have we talked about thongs on this show?

Probably, but maybe not in depth. Not a thong person. My butt's too big. It gobbles up fabric. So I have to wear some sort of full brief you know full brief because it's not a full brief on me because my butt will eat the fabric it's so hungry back there like a hungry hungry hippo yes that's what i have behind me a hungry hungry hippo and uh instead of marbles it's fabric um i just remember the first thong i ever got it was silver with lady

bugs on it i still have it i stole it from a store because my mother wouldn't buy me a thong and i said i will have a thong and then i put it on and i was like this is uncomfortable yeah also i feel like maybe my mom told me this or something this was like lore but i feel like it when i was younger i was told thongs can give you yeast infections but i feel like that's like not real. I think that's not real. I think your mom was trying to cock block, trying to keep you from being a fast little girl. Because that's what my mom said. My mom was like, thongs are for fast little girls. And I was like, what if I want to go fast?

What if I'm Sonic? What if I try to zoom zoom? I'm trying to zoom zoom, trying to have a nice time. But yeah, I just I don't wear that. And then people who don't wear underwear i don't understand that either i'm just like what like you're just walking around in a dress with no underwear that's that's truly wild to me that's wild to me too. Because also just like, what if you get moist down there? Yeah. What if you get horny?

Yeah. And then you're just like, what? Dripping wet? Dripping everywhere. Oh my God. Did you hear about the woman who had an orgasm at like the Philharmonic? Or like a symphony? No.

Like an audible one? Yes. Apparently a very loud orgasm during like the like some symphony like the maybe it was maybe it was in new york i don't remember it wait it was here it was here in la i was just reading about it let me pull something up but it was at the la philharmonics with i think at the disney concert hall i'm assuming that's where they perform and it was to tchaikovsky which that's really just to me that's like christmas music to my mind that's truly wild apparently they didn't stop and she just had a full-blown orgasm was so like she's being so moved by the music um i guess attendees of the los angeles full

harmonic recent concert were startled by the sounds of a woman screaming and moaning midway through the show. I got to say, this pandemic was good for no one. During the orchestra's performance of, how do I say that? Tchaikovsky? Tchaikovsky. Tchaikovsky's Fifth Symphony on Friday, the 28th of April at Walt Disney Concert Hall. Symphony on Friday, the 28th of April at Walt Disney Concert Hall. Several concert goers claimed to have heard a person having a loud and full body orgasm. Everyone kind of turned to see what was happening. Molly Grant told the LA Times Grant, who was seated in the balcony near the

person who allegedly made the noise, said, I saw the girl after it happened. I assume that she had an orgasm because she was breathing heavy. And her partner was smiling and looking at her like an effort to not shame her. Soon after the event, others shared their experiences on Twitter. Went to see L.A. Phil play. A woman in the audience had a loud full-body orgasm band politely carried on props to the la phil is a video do they record it oh my god i think there's someone audio audio we gotta play it all right here we go we'll see if this is actually it

oh my god. That is. That didn't sound like she was being attacked. Yes, that is truly the wildest thing I've ever heard in my whole life. Oh my god. Ah! Oh my god. Oh my god.

Wow. Did we think she was being fingered? Or was she just, was it the music taking over? I wonder. I hope she wasn't being fingered at the Philharmonic. I mean, like, that's like funny. I could see a couple being like, wouldn't this be funny? Let's get nasty at Disney Concert Hall at the philharmonic but then like yeah you're

the seats are close so it's not like you're like so you're next to another person so that would be really crazy i don't think she was fingered because i think the reports would be like this woman was being fingered by someone sitting near her i i think like they're like yeah she just had a full body orgasm i would love to be moved by music that much, you know? I would love to hear a piano, some strings, and just be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That would be fun. Music's everywhere in the world.

What a treat that would be. Also, that was loud loud it was so loud wait can we can we hear it again that really got me good like that like that is echoing well it's made for like music to bounce around i feel like yes it's true oh god how what What a treat to be alive right now. Like, if that happened, I don't know, in the 1920s, it would be like hearsay. But we have audio of a woman just having a nice time. It's also so unfortunate that it was, during a pause in the music it like timed

out perfectly where there was no music happening are there more like yeah are there more um oh i checked in with someone who works at the la phil and they confirmed one this happened, the orchestra did not stop playing. Three, that it was Tchaikovsky's fifth. God, that's so funny. We're living in

the dumbest of times. Oh my God, how funny. Oh my God. I guess I gotta get me to a Philharmonic performance. I mean, see what's up. God, how funny. Oh, my God. I guess I got to get me to a Philharmonic performance. I mean, they're orgasmic. Honestly, it's good. I think it's good for people to have the Philharmonic in their brains as a thing they can go do, you know?

Yes. Yeah. Because I forget about them all the time. I forget about the Philharmonic. They're right here. they're right here they're right here i've actually never been i'd love to go no but you have seen them play oh that's right because we played at um during black panther black yeah black forever no wakanda forever what's it called forever or wait no the first one's just called Black Panther. Black Panther. And the second one is Wakanda Forever.

Yes. Can I tell you a secret? Black Forever. Black Forever. I haven't finished the second one yet. Oh, but wait, how did you watch it? Well, I started it on a plane, fell asleep, de-planed, went and did my business, got back on the plane, started it again, fell right asleep, got off the plane, got home, turned on Disney Plus, started again, fell asleep, turned on Free Guy. I couldn't, for whatever reason, I was like, who are these water people?

What is this water kingdom? But I was enraptured by the water kingdom it was too much i mean i guess it's a whole other world but i was like first of all the bad guy does it for me he is hot i don't know but he's's very, very sexy. Him, I enjoyed. I think I was just like mad that the water people just didn't have a whole movie. Yeah, I didn't watch a whole movie of the water people. Namor. Namor. Give me a whole Namor movie.

Because the backstory was very rushed. And then throw them in to be the enemy or whatever. But I was like, I barely know these people. I was just invested in 15 minutes i mean kind of yeah we'll see more of them i'm sure are they gonna get their own movie this i don't know they should that'd be cool they should too because then i'd be into it but i was just like okay we're on land now we're in water and we have to go back to the land what if i don't want to let me be in the water a little longer yeah maybe that's why i loved avatar way of the water so much because

we really stayed in the water for so long maybe 30 minutes too long to be honest listen i loved when the movie just wasn't a movie and you were just watching people fish. I was like, this is great. Yeah, I was like, there's no story anymore. I'm just now watching them swim with whales. Loved it. And then I love that the whales had a backstory. That was pretty cool.

Yeah. They have music and poetry. Yes. That was, the way it's brought up is pretty funny. Like, all of a sudden they're like the whale told me this i was like wait what yes uh movies i'm upset i haven't seen the what do i want to see oh i want to see the mario brothers movie and i haven't seen it yet i want to see it too should we go see it when we go to the mall oh yes let's do that oh my god let's start off at

the galleria do a couple of laps and then walk on over across the street to the americana and watch the movie we're gonna mall hop we're gonna mall hop it's gonna be great and then maybe we can do an escape room because there's an escape room at the Galleria. So many activities. We are spending the day at the mall. Yeah, it was so dumb. I texted you. I was like, hey, do you want to go to a mall? You were like, do you have things to pick up? And I was like, no, I just want to be in a mall.

So, yeah, I never think to just like go to the mall anymore because I don't get things from the mall. Nobody does. Everybody orders things. But I feel like we're going to come full circle in like in a couple of years where people are going to be like, you know how like you can shop at home? What if you could go to a bunch of different stores and see everything in person and try it on before it gets to your home. That's what I really think the mall rebrand is going to be like. And I think people are going to be like, oh, my God, you don't say. I think it's good in a place. Yeah. And I would prefer it.

I would prefer it, too. And I think malls are not going to be anchored by department stores. I think they're going to all be anchored by Target's and Walmart's. Because then people are like, oh, let's go to Target. people are like oh let's go to target wait a minute let's go to spencer's or whatever else is in the mall and i'll tell you something i was recently in a mall and i spent 85 at spencer jokes on me i gave them real money what did you get at sp's? Whoopie cushions? Oh, you better believe I got a reusable Sonic the Hedgehog sippy cup. It's like not a sippy cup, it's like an adult size, but I fill it up with ice and water and I drink out of it. And that's how I'm getting my liquids in. I bought a shirt that said sluts.

I bought another shirt that said Hooters. I bought another shirt that's like an X-Men shirt and then i bought some candy because i got fun candy i mean that's a good haul thank you i was like pretty happy about it i kind of get exhausted when i shop in malls i don't know if it's the air or lack of it or i don't know something about walking around in multiple stores in the mall at the end of the day I'm like I'm fucking beat yeah but you feel like you did something you load up your car with a bunch of bags and then you bring the bags inside and you hide them from someone you live with and then you try everything on and you put it uh surreptitiously in your closet so it doesn't look like you've bought more things and then you quietly fold up the bags and take them out to the trash so nobody sees them

in the inside trash okay so this sounds like a different thing where are you where are you hiding when i was younger went to the mall and like bought things or shoplifted things i would have to hide it from my mom so she didn't know I got new things and ask me where I got the money for it. Because I'd be like, I didn't get no money. Didn't need it. Didn't need it. Five-finger discount. Right. Out.

And I don't do it anymore. I don't advocate for stealing. Although I'm like, these corporations make so much money. And the people at the top make so much money well what if you steal a little something or other just a little something a candle maybe i'll tell you something self-checkouts i'm taking i'm taking you trust me to self-checkout i'm taking things

yeah it is pretty dumb. It's so dumb. Don't check your receipt when you walk out the door. Sure don't. And you know what I got last time I self-checked out when I was in Chicago? Two onions for my grandpa for free. You stole onions? Not one, but two.

Who are you, Aladdin? Yes. Yes, I am. I am. Street rat am street rat yeah street rat i don't buy that that's me but my grandpa also i was like can you like chill out as we were leaving i handed him the receipt of what i did pay for and he was like that was so cheap and i was like you better shut up before someone comes over and they're like it was cheap because these two onions aren't on the receipt but it's fun it's fun to trick the little wait station i know someone who uh would buy things from whole they were banned from whole foods because they kept ringing things up as bananas that's what getting like full groceries

and then leaving and then they got caught and then they were banned that's i mean a little extreme i think oh can i tell you something that i had from erwin? I had that Haley Bieber smoothie. I don't know what that is. Okay. Haley Bieber at Erwin has a smoothie that is $20, but is very delicious. But it's pre-made? No, I don't know how it became the Haley Bieber smoothie. That's a tongue twister hayley bieber smoothie no it's not i was just having trouble on the first time i don't know how hayley bieber not really a tongue twister it isn't i don't know how hayley bieber got a smoothie at erwin but it's there wait give me can you yeah okay hayley bieber strawberry glaze skin smoothie it has mock almond milk no neo cell hydraulic acid harry's berries strawberries avocado dates maple

syrup vital proteins vanilla collagen vanilla stevia erwin sea moss zuma valley coconut cream homemade strawberry glaze and bananas no substitutions and it's 17 dollars whoa but i don't understand i didn't know you could drink hyaluronic acid i also didn't know that and i didn't know that was in it until I got it or until I read that right now. This collaboration comes at the same time as the launch of Bieber's skincare line, Road Skin, and a portion of smoothie proceeds will benefit Rob's school memorial fund to provide assistance to family impacted by the, how do you say that? Uvalde, Texas tragedy.

That's nice. According to viewers Instagram. That is nice. Okay, so it's $17, but a chunk of that went to help people. So that's nice. That is nice. And let me tell you,

it's delicious. I loved it. And it sounds like it's good for your skin. I hope so. Do I look better? Especially when you make your eyes that big. Yes. It was so expensive.

It travels well. I drank half of it, put the rest in the refrigerator, and it kept. It didn't get all, like, loose and nasty. It held its smoothie form form it's probably all that acid in it it's probably all that acid yeah oh boy oh boy have you ever been to erwin i actually don't think i have i don't really get buy food no no you don't really buy food. No, no, you don't. Also, I may have to stop buying food. I did it bad.

I bought just so much chicken. Chicken, chicken, chicken, because I was going to make it and eat it for the week or whatever. But then I was like, I don't have time to make this chicken. I'm going out to dinner the next three nights. So then I put the chicken in the freezer

and then I took it out of the freezer and put it in the refrigerator to defrost. But then I left it in there for a week. And then I was like, I don't know if this chicken's good. So I put it back in the freezer. I don't think I can eat that chicken. What are chicken rules? I don't know.

Like, if you defrost it once, you have to eat it? Because it was only, how long was it defrosted? For like a week. Oh, then I think it's done. It's done. Okay. I also bought shrimps and did the same thing with them. That definitely has to go, yeah.

Okay. It's tough out here in these streets. It's tough. But I don't want to, I guess I should wait till trash day to throw the chicken out in the trash outside. Because I don't want to be the smelly chicken house. You don't want to be the smelly chicken house. You don't want to be the smelly chicken house. People knock on my door being like, what?

Isn't your trash can lid broken? Like, you don't want, like, a coyote crawling in there trying to get a piece of chicken. Okay, so my lid is more than broken. It doesn't exist. It got banged right off. And I need to, like, ask the city for a new lid but my trash cans are so close to the street that people throw their dog shit in there

and when there was a lid people wouldn't open the lid they would just throw it into my fucking driveway so i was like oh my god i guess i'll just not have a lid. They would throw it in your driveway? That's crazy. Isn't that nuts? Terrorists. Terrorists living among us. And then my mailman has decided to sometimes drop packages by the trash cans and then I don't see them. And I think I need to put a sign down there It's like, please don't drop that down there.

I'll never see it. Yes. I was like, what was the thought process? She needs this. She'll never see it. This is a good spot. I drove down the street in my neighborhood today. And some people have new trash and recycling bins.

And I still have my stinky old ones. I've got to get a new one. But it was like so many new ones that it looked like this just happened. Like a truck just like came by and dropped off a bunch of new ones. So I feel like maybe I'm going to get a new one, but maybe I have to check.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to be the only one with an old-ass trash can. Yeah, talk of the neighborhood. They'll be like, ugh, she's old and nasty. Her recycling is still gray. Oh, they changed colors? Yeah, now all the bins are black. And then for recycling, the lid is blue.

And I think for trash, maybe the lid is black or something. And for the green stuff, it's green. But all the actual bins are black. Wow. Yeah. Interesting thing. Interesting. Isn't that interesting?

I don't think I like just a colorful lid. I want my whole can to be a color. Yeah, I did like the whole can being a color, but they do look so nice and new. I had a wheel broken off mine, and I requested a new bin, and they were like, what's wrong with it? And I was like, the wheel broke off,

and they were like, we will bring you a wheel. They wouldn't bring me a brand new one oh that's really funny we'll bring you one wheel you can have one wheel or maybe it was the lid I don't remember it was some part of the trash can that I needed a new part and they didn't replace the whole thing and i thought that was wild my recycling bin bin is all fucked up it looked like someone hit it with their car i don't know what happened um and to the point where my neighbor across the street i actually texted my neighbor because there is some loud ass bird making so much noise really late at night. And I thought it was maybe fake because it was making all the bird noises. It was like, it was like a car alarm.

I was like, this is not real. There's no way this one bird is making all these sounds consistently at 3 a.m. And I could hear it in my house. It sounded like it was on my neighbor's house. And I could hear it across the street in my house in the back room with all the doors closed. And so I texted my neighbor because I was like, maybe he has some sort of like fake bird sounds that are on his house, which I don't know what the point would be to deter intruders. I don't know. But I was like, I don't know. I was like, it sounds like something someone installed on their house. So I texted my neighbor and I was like, hey, just got back to LA. Have you been hearing an increase in bird noises late at night? Thinking he'd be like, oh, it's this alarm thing

that I installed. But instead he was like, yeah, I've been hearing them. I think the birds are just out more now. Also, your recycling bin is messed up and the wheels like off the axle do you want me to fix that and i was like oh um okay thanks about the birds and no don't do anything to my recycling bin i'll figure it out that's pretty funny he was like you shouldn't be concerned about the birds what you need to be concerned about is your fucked up recycling can yeah i hate looking at it it's really gnarly

and that the birds are birds get over it i love that you texted your neighbor about bird noises well because i was really convinced he was doing it. I thought he had installed something on his house to make bird noises. Because it didn't make sense otherwise. Because it was only one bird and no other birds. I was like, that doesn't make sense. That's very funny. But I think it is, in fact, one bird. And is it every night so far yes oh no but

i've also because i was listening during the day too because i was like is this a real bird but there are birds that do that that do that wacky ass succession of noises one after the other but they just do it during the day when the other birds are chirping so it sounds normal but when it's individualized late at night it sounds really wild i wonder if that bird is like doing a mating call and it's like i'm horny i'm trying to fuck and everyone's like bitch shut up yeah we're. It needs to do it during the day. Why are you trying to mate at 4 a.m.? Because she's trying to get her sneak a link.

She doesn't want her bird husband to find out. He's going to. She's loud. Oh, that's funny. Maybe they live in the next town over and she comes to this town. Oh, no. To find some bird strange. Mm-hmm. Oh, no. To find some bird strange.

Mm-hmm. Should we take a quiz? Yeah. Or do Zillow for a Dillow? What do you want to do? We could do Zillow for a Dillow. All right. Zillow for a Dillo what do you want to do we could do zillow for a dillo all right zillow for a dillo house number one is called the bunker oh and just a reminder i'm going to show you two i will um try to go quickly and you guys can just describe what you're seeing and then at the end you choose

which one you would uh choose if you had to okay so this is in washington state it is these look like they were what do you call them grain silos sashir no i don't know what's a grain silo something that houses's like a big old tin can. I've never heard of a grains silo. These look like big tin cans to me. Like corn comes in, but like a thousand times the size of corn would be. It's for 1.6 million, three beds, one bath, 1,300 square feet. And they are all connected, I guess. Yeah, and there's three outside doors, which is wild.

Okay, so this kitchen is nuts. It's the inside of a tin can. They don't have nothing else going on. They didn't put any walls in here. No, but they hung pictures on this tin can. And also a deer. There's a lot of antlers. There's a deer head,

two antlers not attached to deer, and a boar's head. And they have a stainless steel refrigerator, stainless steel little carts with wood top. They love stainless steel. Too much stainless steel walls. And then they have a TV in the kitchen. Who's watching TV in the kitchen?

Oh, deer. There's a gun. There's guns. And I think... No, there's a deer... There's a gun handle in the kitchen. Who's watching TV in the kitchen? Oh, dear. There's guns. There's a gun handle to the door. The door handle is a rifle. Oh, yeah. A man must live here. Oh, yeah.

Okay. Individual recliners. That's a man's pad. And I think there's tools. There's a tool room. It's absolutely a man cave. And then lofted beds. Yeah. With golf clubs.

So many golf clubs. Too many golf clubs. Yeah. A man lives here. Oh, you got a dirt bike for manly adventures. This is the weirdest house I've ever seen in my whole life. Oh, there's an outdoor shooting range. Oh my goodness.

In a stocked pond? What does that mean? Is that 386 acres? A phenomenal hunting ground with an abundance of game available all year round. This property is perfect for outdoor enthusiasts from the stocked pond and outdoor shooting range with targets up to one mile to the fully improved grain bins. You were right. See grain bins that make an ideal entertainment venue.

With a state-of-the-art security system equipped with cameras and smart home management system in place, you can ensure your safety and peace of mind. Wherever you are, the property generates income from pasture rent and crop production oh shit you get a farm uh which makes it why didn't they show pictures of that do they have pictures of the farm or just the grain silos just oh yep it's really in the middle of nowhere i would be terrified to be here no i couldn't do that oh there's the pond there's the pond looks sick it does look pretty sick like like not well damn this is a lot of land no i would not feel safe here no you couldn't pay me to live there the

pond is okay so it accommodates up to six people providing you with the ultimate rule experience. The pond is stocked with bass and is engineered to never freeze. Engineered? Isn't that crazy? That seems wrong. What did you put in there? Is it like a pool they put a heater? Or there's chemicals in there?

Why doesn't it freeze? Something's wrong. Maybe they put that goop that's in those ice packs that are just kind of always to freeze something's wrong weird i don't maybe they put that goop that's in like um you know those like ice packs that are just kind of always they're never hard yeah yeah and there's liquid in there yeah maybe that's what the pond's made out of and there's bass you can't eat the bass yeah yeah they're radioactive but they're there okay this is house number two, the Brass in Berkeley, California. It's $1.997 million, five bedroom, five bathroom, 4,083 square feet. Oh, no.

This house is wild. It looks like trumpets are coming out of the side of it oh and then oh wait and then okay so it looks like they turned a garage into like more living space because there's definitely garage doors and there's like there's like what are those golf tees those little the things that you put, put a golf ball on top of. It does look like they've decorated the home, the outside of the home with a golfing pick. And, or, or nails. I hate this house.

That house is nasty. Why did they do this? They made the whole house look like an instrument. Oh my God. It's okay. Those flumes are more golf tees. Oh, it's just all golf. This is a golf themed home.

Gross. Nasty. The inside is not bad. It's like fine. Gold accident. It's like, kind of like a hotel. Yeah. It's gray.

It's fucking shades of gray white and black i will never ever get used to seeing such boring homes like this they managed to make a golf outside themed home boring on the inside on the inside where's the green where's more golf stuff i don't know they do have like a lot of wavy gold there's like spiral staircases which are kind of annoying honestly why would you have a spiral staircase so you get dizzy when you get upstairs they're so annoying to me oh yeah like carpeted spiral staircase yeah i this house has too many compartments and then a circular bed bedroom listen i like a circle bed that's fun i think i think i would get confused yeah that's why i think

it would be fun oh a black bathroom black bathroom with tiny not penny rounds but like tiny squares and gold. This is a nasty house. Ugh, a pool table. Ugh. Ugh. Nasty black floors. Ugh. And I have to choose between these two nasty houses? Welcome to the 1985 Tunnel Road,

the saxophone house. So maybe the house is supposed to be a saxophone. Okay. Okay. Designed by Ace Architects is a stunning piece of art featuring some of the most whimsical looks. Built in 1996 for an amateur jazz player.

If I was... Okay. First of all, they're an amateur jazz player and you're committing that hard to making your house into a saxophone? You're not even a professional? Well, they're selling it, so I think they've moved on. Hmm?

Can you see yourself hosting a grand party in this castle or enjoying an incredible sunset view from the deck? A must-see to appreciate. I guess so, because I'm looking at it now, I don't appreciate it. It's wild. Okay, if I had to choose, I would definitely live in a saxophone house over the fucking middle of fucking nowhere

in a tin can. Oh, God. Yeah, I hate the saxophone house, but I would rather live there because at least people could hear me if I scream. Yeah. That wilderness one scares me. Yeah, your scream would be amplified

through the plumes, the side of the me. Yeah, your scream would be amplified through the plumes, the side of the house. Yeah. Ew, both those houses were nasty and I didn't like it. Gross. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

Mm-mm. Okay, should we answer some queries? Let's help the people. Hi. Long time listener, first time caller. My name is Brady. I live in sunny Los Angeles. I'm actually on the 405 right now, but paying attention on my driving.

Anyways, if you couldn't tell by the tone of my voice, I am a homosexual, and a lot of my close friends are, you know, straight guys that I'm really close with from college, and you know, I've always been super

out to them. Like like they're wonderful like great guys i love them so much like the thing i wanted to kind of ask about though is just different levels of friends are not super comfortable talking about like relationship stuff like sort of unprompted like my best friend in the world i i kind of had to drag it out of him when he started dating his girlfriend uh because he mentioned her offhand and i had to be like whoa hold the phone you said this to me who is she and it's something that i wish i'd be able to talk about with them more because, you know, with a lot of my gay friends or with a lot of my, you know, my girlfriends, both straight, lesbian, bi, all that, I'm able to really talk about dating and all that shit more. And, you know, part of me wonders if it's like worrying about referencing gay sex stuff, which I talked a little bit about with them. I joke that I am the ambassador to gayness for them.

But also, like, I don't know. It's just weird because I feel like that is something that I like talking about and want to be open about. talking about and want to be open about and you know my friends aren't which I understand what details my roommate and good friend joke jokes about me being nosy when I was asking about this stuff which you know like we kind of laughed off because he's not my family who can be very nosy but yeah I just wanted to know like in y'all's experience you know with straight men or with other or very nosy. But, yeah, I just wanted to know, like, in y'all's experience, you know, with straight men or

otherwise, like, just sort of getting people to be more comfortable talking about topics that mean a lot to you, because you know, I'm looking for love, and it's it's you know it's part of

it's part of my life it's something i want to talk about with everyone okay love the podcast uh to see her both my parents are uva alums so you know wahoo wah and uh yeah thank you And yeah, thank you. Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo tough for me because i feel like all the straight men i know will hang out with another straight man and i'll be like what did y'all talk about and they're like nothing personal that's what i was gonna say i was like i think this might just be straight men i don't think they really get that deep about their relationships or much else at all they can know someone for decades and have no idea that they're having problems in their marriage or whatever yeah maybe it's something like oh i'm being nosy because you're my friend and i'd like to know things about you and i know that like i don't know maybe bring up be like i know straight guys don't like talking about it but like maybe it'll be fun

for us don't you want to just gab i don't know yeah i guess you could ask like specific questions about their relationships but then maybe you would still be met with the you're being nosy energy part of me wants to say like i think you can't expect that kind of relationship with your straight male friends i just i have i haven't seen it i also haven't seen it but i do have some straight male friends that i will have like conversations with that are more interpersonal i do think the next like okay if you bring it up and you're like tell me about the girl you're dating and they're like you're being nosy be like yeah i'm gay tell me about your life i think maybe that would be helpful and then maybe they'd be like oh this is a man that i can talk to i don't know that's an interesting point yeah maybe they're like

because they don't share with other men what's going on with their lives maybe because you're a man they're like yeah nope but maybe if you're like no no no no i'm different yeah i'm not like those other men you know yeah and then they're like oh okay yeah and then maybe you'll break the cycle of straight men not talking about their feelings and all straight men will go get a gay friend and drama dump on them. No, I'm kidding. I don't know.

Maybe men will learn how to open up. I don't know. I wish men wanted to open up. I wish we didn't socialize men to keep it all inside. Yeah. I think it's like they're getting better. And then there are some men who just are naturally open, but I think it might be too far between. who just are naturally open,

but I think it might be too far between. Like, there's, like, men's groups that are created for men to feel safe to talk. Really? Yeah. How do you find a men's group? Mmm, the internet.

Huh. Okay. But yeah, I think it's, like, a place for them to share feelings and I'm sure there's like some sort of like self-development in there but um like that's how little they share in their lives they have to go specifically searching for other men who are willing to share

why about themselves oh i wouldn't wish masculinity on anybody i know seems exhausting yeah yeah but yeah i think it i think it would be easy if i think yeah just like i don't know i'm not like other dudes let me just talk to me you're my friend i want to know about you yeah or you share first maybe Maybe you share with some, some stuff about your relationship and maybe that would make them feel more comfortable opening up to. Yeah. Give it a try.

Judith, Kimmy, do you guys have any advice? I think I just say, yeah, maybe try once to be like, Hey, I really like to talk about like dating and life and what's going on.

And I'd love to hear that about you. And if they like really don't bite, yeah. And you can't force it. They're not comfortable. It might be like a long journey, but I definitely know like got straight guys who do that or game for it. And then I know straight guys who are just like not into that. So it depends.

I think it's fair for you to say like, Hey, this is how I show I care as I ask these questions. And then, yeah, if they're not into it, they're not into it. But I don't think it's wrong for you to express that. I think that's really reasonable. Yeah, I agree. I definitely think keep your expectations low for straight men, for sure. That's the smartest strategy.

They need all the prayer and help they can get. But beyond that, I do like the idea of also asking like, hey, I need advice on something. I'm thinking I might start dating again. What do you guys think? Just to kind of gauge their interest. If you're wanting to open that up, if you want them to be a little bit vulnerable, make it kind of normalized being vulnerable with them.

If you trust them enough to do that, maybe that will be, you know, reciprocated and yeah, use your discernment because, you know, you don't need to share everything with, with all of your friends sometimes, you know, you can keep things to yourself or if you want to make sure you foster that community, then I say, try and be a little bit vulnerable with them and see how it, how it goes. Yeah. Yeah. I'd also say if someone does like start maybe tiny bit opening up, be very gentle just because I've heard stories from guys where they're like, they start towing with more emotional realness and someone will tease them. Not even like me, but like, I don't know, like with my female friends, I can tease them a little bit, but we're used to being emotionally vulnerable. So it's not sensitive, but like i don't know like with my female friends i can tease them a little bit but we're used to being emotionally vulnerable so it's not sensitive but like if someone's new to it and they

get teased it could shut it down so just be like cognizant and gentle if someone does start doing that because they might not be used to it it might be oddly more sensitive to it yeah yeah i once had a straight man tell me his feelings and i laughed and then i never heard it was funny it was a funny feeling and i never heard the end of it so i think kimmy is on to something you cannot laugh at a straight man because i don't know yeah they start opening up. You just be like, sounds gay, dude. Yeah, solved. If you have any questions or queries or concerns or advice or anything, you can email Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com or call or text or leave a voice memo at 424-645-7003.

Merch is something we have at podswag.com slash bestfriends. Transcripts are also something that we have for our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. Rate, review, and subscribe is what you have to do. That's the easiest way to support this show.

Yes! Goodbye! Signing off from sunny Los Angeles. It's been Nicole and Sashir. I didn't know you weren't going to say my name. Keeping you on your toes.