Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Imagines Life In The Hunger Games

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

Nicole and Sasheer are back with another extra-special episode of Best Friends! Our favorite duo gets into how they'd handle an extra-terrestrial encounter, what pirates are talking about when they say "shiver me timbers", and how everyone seems to be cutting corners lately except for Dave Thomas.Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum podcast. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, no. I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good, all good.

Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and we host a show What's our podcast here on HeadGum? But we want to make sure you heard about a very special episode with a very special guest that we just released in the feed. Yeah, it's in the feed. It was sponsored by Squarespace because they were appalled. We didn't have a website for our show yet.

They were like... You don't have a website? What are you guys? Like kindergartners? They wanted to do something about that. So we built a flawless, beautiful, perfectly designed website live on the pod with our very special guests and very web savvy guests. Should we tell them who it was? Let's put we could play 20 questions.

I don't think we have time for that. Is it person? No, it's not. It's Finn Wolfhard. But Finn had a bunch of great ideas for the website. Beck, you had some amazing ideas for the website too. You had some amazing ideas for the thing. Well, I was sort of driving the thing.

I was sort of like clicking and. And I was like, let's put a little, let's put some widgets in there. I was talking about widgets. You kept on using that phrase widgets. Yeah, there's all sorts of stuff there. You might want to check out the hippo. Just go check out the website. Just know that there's a hippo video and know that you're going to want to watch that.

We had a lot of fun making this episode. We had a lot of fun to make this website. We think you're going to have a fun time listening to it and maybe even watching it. Think of it as our little Christmas present to you. Yeah, yeah. This is a gift for you, okay? It's just like, it's a selfless thing we did for you. Thanks to Squarespace for making us build a website,

sponsoring the episode, and for supporting creators across the HeadGum Network. Go check out the bonus episode. What's our website from What's Our Podcasts on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts? Go to Squarespace.com slash Beck and Kyle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code, Beck and Kyle. Yes, sir. To save 10% off your first purchase of a website on a name. Get it, Kyle.

Hey, it's Tignotaro from The Handsome Podcast. And I'm May Martin. And I'm Fortune Feenster, also from The Handsome Podcast. And we wanted to let you know that we made a very. very fun special episode of our show sponsored by Squarespace that's up now on our YouTube page for you to watch handsome finally formed a band and recorded a hit song live in the podcast studio and we documented the whole process for you to watch it's by far the most ambitious and inspiring moment on our show to date I feel like we can't say much more about it without giving too much away so just go watch us

make complete fools of ourselves and have the best time ever or become the newest sensations. That's right. Go to YouTube.com slash handsomepod or listen wherever you get your podcast. That's YouTube.com slash handsome pod to hear us record a song live. See you at the Grammys. Oh, for sure, buddy. For sure. Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com slash handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code handsome to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hello, Sashir. Hi, Nicole.

How are you? I'm good. Yesterday I went to a thrift store. Oh. To donate some stuff. Yes. And then I wanted to also look for a cabinet, dresser situation, to put in my office. Mm-hmm.

To store stuff. Sure. Got a lot self-tape stuff Like, lights and stands Yeah, you got a whole studio now A whole studio now And other things that I don't know where to put And I had 40 minutes for the store close

And I was like, I'm going to zip around See if I can find anything And I found something that fit the exact measurements Of what I needed Well, well, well! Let's see a picture Oh, I just over there I'll show you later

Because what are we going to do? Put it on the... No, you're right. You're right. Show me offline. I'll show you offline. But it's cute. And it's just like, you know, drawers and the open...

It's a cabinet. It's cool. There's drawers. The open... There's doors. Yeah. And then I told my girlfriend and she was like, well, you got to be careful about the wood that you bring into the house because termites, like, certain types of wood.

And I was like, don't bring that. energy in here excuse me i agree don't no there's no termites there's no termites i just had termite problem hopefully it's resolved i haven't seen anything since um but they weren't in the house well they were under the house coming up up to the house yeah trying to usurp your house i know but they never got the furniture which is great because i have so much wood in my home but i also most of my stuff is second hand and i've never had an issue knock on something. Knock on wood.

Yeah. Knock on the wood. Yeah. Well, I feel like if there was termites in it, it would be like so degraded that you would be able to tell. Like, you know, if they were like in it and it's an old thing and they've been living, they'd probably been munching. Also, I feel like if some things, if a store is reselling it, wouldn't they check it before they put it on the floor? I don't think so. But I don't think it has termites.

I don't think it has termites either. I think if they're eating up your furniture, your problem's pretty bad. And I don't think you're donating things. I think you're dealing with your house falling apart. Like, I think walls are caving in if they're eating your dressers. They're hungry. There's no more wood for them. Yeah, because they start.

I feel like with the house before they get to the furniture. Yeah, I think it's fine. And we've talked about it before, but I truly. think it's wild that we build houses out of wood it's really dumb they burn up bugs eat them metal but didn't we i feel like we saw a video that explained why or because it's like faster and cheaper than cement or metal or whatever maybe but i know in florida i think they do like cement houses or something like that that's ideal i don't know i was watching a show called hundred-day home where they build you a home in a hundred days oh um um

And they don't, they, I've never seen wood framing in anything they put up. Yeah, we got to get rid of that. We got to move on. I think we've moved on as a society. We don't need wood houses. No. Maybe we do. Maybe there is a reason.

I don't know. I think it really is just like, you can make it fast. Mm-hmm. And, well, 100-day home. They're building whole houses in 100 days. Yeah. With cement? I believe with cement.

Okay. Which, I mean, I guess I don't know how much anything costs. I don't know how much cement costs or lumber, but I feel like that quote, how much is a banana, Michael? $10? Yeah. Sometimes I do feel like that. Yeah, I don't know how much lumber would cost for structuring a house. Probably a lot of money. I don't know.

But I feel like cement feels comparable because it's just like a bunch of goop. Yeah, it's mud that hardens up. Yeah. It's not like you have to cut a tree down of. make this thing. No. How do we make cement? Do we grind up rocks and put them with water?

It's some sort of powder that you mix with water, I think. Cement powder? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, we're not contractors. That's not our trade. Simply is not. We don't know.

I don't know. But it truly is wild. When you see, like, a house taken to the studs. Mm-hmm. And then the people building it know where everything's going. That sounded so dumb coming out of my mouth. But do you know what I mean? It's like there's just sticks up.

And they're like, and a kitchen's going over here. And I'm like, how? What? You can see that? You can see that a kitchen's going to go here. Then they spray paint lines. I'm like, a wall. And you're like, what?

It's crazy. Building's crazy. It's crazy. Thank goodness people know how to do it. I know. Who do you think? Who do you think the first person to build a house was? We don't know. Noah. Maybe the Mesopotabitians? Uh-oh. Mesopotamians?

Mesopotamians? Those are people. Yeah. Mesopotamians? Yeah. Maybe they built the first house. Maybe. Allie, can you Google who built the first house? The first people to build permanent, modern-style houses were early farmers in the Middle East, around 11,000. thousand years ago in modern-day Turkey.

Oh. And before this, early humans built temporary shelters from materials like sticks and animal skins and evidence of the earliest known man-made shelters, though very primitive, dates back to up to 1.8 million years ago. Wow. Turkey's been innovating for a long time, building houses and hair for men. They're pioneers. They are pioneers.

When they put their minds to it, they said, we're going to do it. Yeah. That's so wild that for a long time people just kept moving But I guess it was like you move with the elements Yeah, I think so Man, it's too cold, you get out And like the food? Like are you also following where the animals are going?

Oh, probably following the bulls Mm-hmm The bulls The chickens They're clucking clucking down south Gotta follow them Yeah, definitely I, the way we do years in history

is confusing. Yes. BC, AD. I think that. Now. I think now. Now is different than 80?

I think are we in 80? I feel like we're still in 80. Like, I don't understand why we don't have like the year one. Technically we're still in AD. Oh, okay. There was a year one. I think. One BC?

And then there's a, is there a 1 AD? I think. so. And I don't know why. Because Christ. B.C. is before Christ. That's true. A.D. is after death. I think so. Which is also wild that we're like, yeah. We can, we can delineate time that way. Imagine being that important having so many people be obsessed with you, even after you're dead. Time changed. That's crazy. After this person died. Right? Mm-hmm. Just this dude. And we named time after him. Mm-hmm. Many religions are based on him.

Yeah. It's crazy. Crazy. I hope when I die, it's... Oh, AD. It would be after death. It's after every day. After Nicole.

After Nicole. Mm-hmm. Yeah, what can I do to make society cherish me? Ooh. Mm. Magic tricks. I mean, that's what Jesus did. That's what Jesus did.

Some really cool ones, though. Yeah, turning wine into water, no, water into wine. But if you turn wine into water, people will be like, can you leave this party? Like, this is boring now. This sucks. I'm hydrated? Ew. Walking on water, that's fucking cool. That's very cool. If you saw that, do you think he would, like, freak out or be like, that's a friend?

If you did it or somebody else? Yeah, if I walked on water, if I was like, share, I can do a really cool thing. Do you want to see it? And you were like, yes. And I just, like, was skipping on the water. What would you do? I'd be like, how'd you do it? And then I'd be like, I guess you're magic.

And then I'd be like, show me more. You wouldn't be scared of me? I would be scared of you, no. Oh. Like, if you, like, if I've known you still, like, everything's the same, it's all of a sudden you know how to walk on water? Yeah. Tomorrow, Thursday.

Mm-hmm. I can walk on water. Yeah. You're chill? I'm not chill. I'm like, what the fuck? but I think I still believe you're my friend

because you're not going to use this power against me How would I use walking on water against you? Exactly, so why would I be scared? Oh, it's a good way to think about it. I would tell my therapist, I'd be like, I think I'm a little scared. And she'd probably talk me down and be like, well, she can't hurt you by walking on water.

Maybe it could be a benefit. Yeah. And then what do he do? He turned loaves efficient to bread. What? I'm saying things very poorly. I think it was like me broke bread, like one loaf of bread into a bunch of pieces so everyone could eat. And did the same thing happen with fish? Maybe. Maybe. What else did he do? Oh, and he like brought people back to life? He's pretty scary.

That is actually pretty scary. Right? I couldn't see why they were like, kill him. Get him! Oh, I thought about, okay. So on the way here, I, in my Jeep, since it's a two-door, I have to, like, push the seat forward to put things in the back seat. And then whenever I put it back, it's never perfect. I have to, like, reconfigure it again. And people sometimes make fun of me because I sit up very straight when I drive. But I tried leaning back.

And I'm like, doesn't everyone's back hurt leaning back like that? My back actually hurts sitting straight up. I actually need a deep lean. And I don't know if it's because my torso's short and my legs are so long. Oh. But anytime anyone sits in the driver's seat, they're like, damn, you are leaning back. But I have to. And I think I have to sit forward.

Yeah. My friend's husband saw me driving, and he made fun of me so hard. He was like, you drive like that on the steering wheel. I also had my hood up. I was a little hungover, and I was driving like that. But I was like, but that's how I'm comfortable. Because when I lean back, my back then is arched. Because my butt's big.

Yeah. But you've a big butt, too. Yeah, I do have an arch. But for some reason, sitting up straight doesn't help it. Hmm. I don't know. I guess bodies are different. Bodies are different.

Bodies are crazy different. Yeah. You ever see somebody? This is really mean. But have you ever seen someone and you're like, whoa, that's the, most different built i've ever seen and you're like how how do you support everything that's happening like when people have really tiny legs i'm like whoa yeah aren't you afraid to you're gonna break them twits i've seen it recently there was like a woman i remember because i know i was

like whoa that she had like really stick thin legs and just like really wide hips but i don't think it was enhanced i don't think this was artificial I think it was real. And I was like, how does this not... Do we see that together? Mm-mm. Oh. No, this is over the holidays.

Mm-hmm. No, it was over the holidays. No, you were not there? No, I did not get to see that lady. I went to my first and only Dodgers game. Okay. And I saw a lady with a surgeryed body. Yeah.

She looked like an aunt. Mm-hmm. Her butt was so big. And my queried to the BBL divas of the world is why aren't you getting thighs to match your butt? Yeah, do they not have that option? You know? Yeah.

Like an add-on plan? Yeah, it's like, just continue. Yeah, because she really looked like a P. Mm-hmm. And then her boobs were so big. So it was just a P and then another P. Yeah. Or an S?

Mm. Like, burp. Burt. Yeah, she could have been an ass. Yeah. Maybe, I wonder for the healing process, you need, like, something that's not healing to sit on? But if you're sitting, you're sitting on your butt anyway.

But I feel like when you're healing a BBL, you can't sit on it. That's true. You have to, like, be on your knees and your stomach a lot. Yeah. BBLs are crows. Crazy. Mm-hmm. But, yeah, I guess if it's like, if you're not sitting anyway, just get your thighs done.

Yeah. It's so funny to me. Did you see that documentary that was Vivica Fox did? Or someone did a BBL documentary? No. About the stories, the harrowing stories from it. Well, it's the plastic surgery that you're most likely to die from. Oh, my God.

Isn't that crazy? Oh, no. People be risking their lives. to look like ants. That really sucks. Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. Just have a big, nasty bottom.

Yeah. And sometimes the BBL doesn't heal properly. So your butt be stanking. Oh, no. What stinks about it? It's called the BBL smell. Like, is there, like, a chemical in there? I think it's necrosis of your body.

Because it's dead? Like dead's flesh? Yeah. Like things. I think it's when the fat doesn't take the fat then dies. Oh, God. Isn't that wild? That is wild.

People be walking around like ants with dead butts. With zombie butts? Uh-huh. No. Oh, no. Truly, being an alien and arriving here, I would truly be like, what the fuck? What are they doing to themselves? What are you all doing?

Yeah. Isn't that wild? That is wild. Mm-hmm. If an alien came And was like, hey, do you want to come with me? I won't bring you back. And I can't give you a preview of the new planet

Because our whipwops don't work here. That's their phone. They're whipwops. Would you go? No. Oh. No, I guess. I mean, this place has a lot of issues.

Are they telling me anything about where they're going? whipwops don't work and they're like and we can't describe it we don't have the language to describe it to you in a way you'll understand yeah but i can tell you it's beautiful here's the thing i'm a creature of habit and i like what i like i like the places that i like to eat i like the friends i like to see like doing activities i like to do if none of that is where the whipwops are i don't want to go the whipwop is the phone oh my god so sorry I didn't tell you the species name What species are they?

Nelops. Got it. A lot of their languages sound. Well, you would love it, sounds like. Yeah, I think I would have a good time. I think I would go as long as I could tell people that I was leaving. Okay. I don't want to, like, ghost Earth.

I don't want to, like, you know, have my friends be like, where is she? Like, I want to tell people, I'm going with the yurps. They have a wimp-wop I want to see work. But I also am a creature of habit, but I'm also a creature of like, maybe this will be exciting. I'm down for exciting things, but I want to come home. I want to, like, return from it. I don't want it to be like, this is an exciting thing for the rest of my life and that I can't change it. You know?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'd be so sad if you left. Oh, I'll stay. Yes. So glad we worked through that hypothetical. I was thinking about aliens because I watched... Jesus Christ, I cannot remember the name of this movie.

It's like the Great Four. Oh, the Fantastic Four. And the Silver Surfer is this alien. But they never explain why she's a surfer. they explain how they like she gets silver because this big monster man with horns makes her silver but at no point did they explain why her mode of transportation is a surfboard it's a good point but wasn't she from like a water planet or something oh which we also only saw for like a hot second but so maybe they maybe on the planet they all surfed maybe maybe that's that's how they got around. Yeah. And then it was really funny

because they showed the silver surfer before she becomes the silver surfer and her hair is so high and then the silver flattened it down. Yeah. And I was like, that's funny. That's just a really funny choice. Slick.

Yeah, I guess the silver's a little heavy on her, which tracks, silver's heavy. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That movie left me with so many questions. Did The Rock Man ever see Natasha Leone again?

Yes. Oh, he did? Yeah, it was at the end of the movie. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I thought so. It's a while since I seen it. I was on a plane.

Yeah. So I don't know if I was like actually paying attention to it. And then I watched The Long Walk. Oh, yeah. That one looks crazy. Brutal. Yeah. My God.

Yeah. I mean, the trailer gives you the premise. Yeah. Gather the boys. Have them go on a walk. When they stop walking above a 3.0, they get shot. And 3.0, not that fast. That's like a pace of a normal walk.

You'll do a mile in 20 minutes. That's too fast for me. I could not keep that up. I would get shot within minutes. Yeah. I think some gyms had a thing where they had like treadmill rooms and they played that movie. and you had to walk at the same pace

as long as they were walking. Dang, it's a two-hour movie. A walk for two hours? Yeah. It truly was so wild. But then they made friends along the way. Oh, okay. They were helping each other out,

and that was nice. And some boys lost their dang minds, and I was like, I'd lose my mind if I had to walk for two hours. But I guess in movie world, they were walking longer than two hours. But I only got to see two hours of it. Mm-hmm. Stephen King, I got to say, the mind is sick. All these stories came out of that man's mind?

It's wild. That's wild. And I think he's married? I actually don't know. I don't know either. Is Stephen King married? Yeah, he is. Wild.

I would be so afraid that that mind would kill me at night. Think about all his stories. Cars that talk. Christine. Okay, right. The Shawshank Redemption, a man who escapes prison. That's not scary, though. Yeah, but a lot of scary things happen to him in prison.

It's a jolly good movie until, like, bad stuff happens to Tim Robbins. Coojo, a killer dog. Yeah, yeah. It, a clown from the sewer killing the kids? That sucks, yeah. I'd be so mad. I would be so mad if I was living my good life, looked in a sewer, that it clowns there. He coming to get me.

Do he do misery too? That's a wild movie. That's a wild movie too. Do you think there's so many like dystopian stories where kids are dying? Like they have to kill each other or something kills them. And I'm sure there's like a lesson that we as a society are supposed to learn from that. But I also wonder if seeing that is like desensitizing us to kids dying? Probably

You know? Because I don't think Because then it doesn't feel as crazy Because it's like oh yeah kids die Which they do die But there's not such an emphasis on like This is tragic Yes

Because in that world That's what they do Kids just fight each other and die Well I think it was Whitney Houston Who said she believe that children are the future Let them live and let them lead the way So maybe in the dystopian future, they're like, that's true.

We got to kill the kids to keep them in line. Otherwise, they'll lead. The lead, and they'll lead us away from these bad things that we're trying to do. Oh, no. Whitney knew. She knew. That's why they got rid of her. I mean, the Hunger Games is crazy.

It is crazy. And then everyone in the Capitol just, like, watches. Do you think you'd be in the Capitol? Or do you think you'd be in a district? I think I would have been raised in the district and I would have fought my way to the couple. That's very, very funny. It would have been raised in a district

and fought my way to. the Capitol. Probably. Yeah, I think I would too. I think that's, yeah, we're fighters. Who win? Okay, so when you win the Hunger Games, what do you, you just win alive? You win being alive.

Do you get to go to the Capitol or do you have to go back to your district? Okay, so it sucks if you win. Because you get a house for your family so you're out of poverty in your district. but then you have to go back to the Capitol and then you serve as a mentor for the next games. So you can never get out of it. Oh. And then you become like the Woody Harrelson.

Oh. Dang. Dang. My future being Woody Harrelson? He seemed crazy. If I'm volunteering as trivia, yeah, that's tough. Yeah.

Yeah, and then you just have to like coach them on how to kill the other children? Oh, my God. I hope the hunger games don't come to life. I hope not either. I'd be so upset. Because then we'd have to, like, protest. Don't kill the kids.

Don't kill the kids. Let's don't have a hunger game. We'd have to make signs. Just give us food. Boy, Suzanne Collins. She knows how to write. She wrote the Hunger Games. Have you read The Hunger Games?

No. I think the movies are actually really, really good. and the books are even better They're really good Allie, have you read them? Yeah, they're so good I love them I, so is the prequels

Are they books as well? Mm-hmm Oh Read those too I better get back Into my Suzanne Collins bag Gotta read the morning Song of Hummingbird

I don't know the name about it It's something Yeah Some about songbirds or whatever A lot of birds involved Yeah What's a movie that you Is there like

No, movies about the future are all like, it's bad. Yes, that's true. Yeah, I've never seen a movie about the future. I was like, hey, we did okay. We figured it out. Yeah. I guess there wouldn't be a movie then. Yeah.

How does Wally end? Hmm. How does Wally end? He finds it a little friend. They fall in love. He finds, maybe he finds a plant on Earth. Oh. But then does Earth, I can't remember what happens to the people on that big old spaceship.

Me either, the little fatty zooming around. Yeah. I don't remember either. You mentioned up in a different episode. Should we have a Pixar party? Yes. Where we watch all the Pixar movies. Yes.

Okay, that sounds like a nice time to me. Yes. I'm excited for, I think it's Toy Story 4 or 5. Which one's coming now? Maybe 5. I'm excited. Yeah, me too. And I read that, I think maybe on this podcast, we looked it up.

And, like, the iPad is the enemy. The enemy. But then I read somewhere that the iPad's not, like, the, like, enemy enemy. It's just, like, a thing. A new thing. Yeah. And, okay. So my trainer's son is three.

He's the cutest, and we train on Zoom. And I'll, like, come talk to me. Today I showed him a bunch of toys. And he went, she's got a lot of toys. And I was like, that feels like a read. Because I'm an adult. But I was like, do you know who Mr. Potato Head is? And he was like, yeah, from Toy Story.

And I was like, that's crazy. That is crazy. That is crazy. Yeah. That is a character on a movie as opposed to the tour. It rocked me in a way that I was like, whoa, I feel so old. I know. But I guess I haven't seen a Mr. Potato Head in real life in a long time. Let's take a break and look for the potato head.

As best friends, Nicole and I have taken a lot of trips together, and we went to Palm Springs a few years ago with a bunch of other friends. It was somebody's birthday. It was great. We invited people over. And it was very important to us that we each had our own private space, like our own bathrooms, a place to put our suitcase, our own drawers, just so we had space. And I didn't feel like we were on top of each other.

and Nicole really loved that there was a pool outside, and I remember it being special because of Airbnb. One of our favorite things about Airbnb is the guest favorite features. We're always trying to find the best place for us on a trip, and guest favorites are a collection of the most loved homes on Airbnb. It's really fun to browse through the options and see what places other people chose and love too. We'd rather meet up in a living room than a hotel lobby, and booking stays through Airbnb.

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Go to Roe.co slash safety for boxed warnings and full safety information about GLP1 medications. I never found a potato head. I have a Mr. Potato Head in real life. Really? Mm-hmm. I, when I was decorating my office, I was like, I want all the toys from my childhood that I don't have anymore because when we sold my dad's house, we, like, just got rid of all of them and donated them.

So I have trolls, my little ponies, Mary Cherry Muffin dolls, Mr. Potato Head, some fry kids, the hamburger. I think I got Elmo's, like little figurines. Like, I don't have, like, it's not huge. I got some Kathy memorabilia. Yeah. I live like a child. Yeah.

I saw some headline that was saying how millennials aren't passing down airlooms anymore. They're passing down just stuff. Like, everyone's just collecting, like, toys and stuff. And no more like, oh, yes, this is a mirror. from the 1700s. It's like... We don't have that. We don't have it.

It's true. I'm not passing down a fucking IKEA, whatever. It's one and done. I mean, you probably have like heirlooms to pass down. Hmm. I think I have a couple things from, like, my grandma,

but... And all my stuff is old, but not from my... Not from your people. Not for my lineage. Hmm. Yeah, I don't I guess when my grandpa goes

I can have his sofa covered in plastic Are you going to take the plastic off? Oh, never That feels like disrespectful Yeah Because he's 97 and that plastic has been on Since I was a child

Yeah And for me to take it, who am I? Who am I to sit on the fabric? Also, this is immediately disintegrates as soon as it touches the air. I mean, honestly, probably. He also has this painting. It's a velvet painting, and it's huge.

And then you plug it in and it lights up. That's fun. It's wild. And I, every time I plug it in, I laugh and laugh and laugh. That's fun. And he's got some good lamps. Okay, nice. Yeah, those will be my heirlooms.

Lamps, great. Lamps, great. Lamps, great. Yeah, I don't have anything of real value. Just, yeah, a lot of toys. I also read that, like, millennial gray happened because of, like, the 90s being so kitschy and stuff. And I was like, that bums me out.

That was a bummer. I feel like millennial gray came about because of social media and people being like, look at this, clean, aesthetic. Yeah, I don't like it. Me either. And everyone's like, yeah, I'd like to live in a doctor's office. Have you seen what they did to the Home Alone house? I haven't.

So sad. Did you see what they did to the Family Matters house? No. Girl. Get ready to be upset. Yeah. Allie, hit it. Did I do that...

This day and age. To read any good news on the newspaper page page. Look at that. that's the original house and look what they did it looks like a fucking prison yeah why would they make it so straight

I don't look at it it's so cold this is like why just buy a house it's already looks like that why do you have and they left a well that's actually oh I'm mad they left a a plaque this is family matters

But you made the house look so different. Why would you even... Don't even... Don't tell me. Don't tell me this used to be the family matters house if you made it look so different. Yikes. That's wild.

And look at the other houses on the street. They still look fun. Yeah. I just... Just buy a different house. Buy a different house. Buy a plot of land. Build your own house.

Build your own nasty house. Yeah. I feel like when people renovate and change like the facade of how... Like, we're losing history. We're losing like the... Like, houses in Chicago, I think, have such a fun aesthetic. And we're just, like, root.

Like, I love those houses. Like, they're so fun. There's character there. Yes, we're losing character. We're losing, like, everything's becoming so homogenous. Yeah. Like, we're never going to, like, 30 years from now, they're not going to be like, wow, look at those straight lines. Ooh, it's so smooth and straight.

I love that. I don't know how gray it is. I love that. I love that. White, stark and gray. Yum, yum, yum, yum. I also know that straight lines are cheaper than curved things, and there's, like, you know, people who did that work that, like, have died off and, like, nobody's doing the work anymore. That's true. And it's just such a bummer.

It's such a bummer. Ugh. And then I read that people are building houses, putting down, what is it, LVP, like, not actual wood, like, vinyl that looks. It looks like wood, but leaving the subfloor and just putting carpets over it to save money. Like putting a rug over the sub floor and not doing your whole house. Everyone's cutting corners. Ye. Not Dave Thomas. Who's Dave Thomas?

The founder of Wendy's. That's why the burgers are square. What? Where did we get here? I said cut corners and it reminded me of Wendy's. Oh, okay. Man. Okay.

I usually can follow you. but you skipped a few steps for me. I'm so sorry. I feel like I really shook you. Yeah. Worse than if I walked on water. Yes. And I'm like, well, that's cool.

Who's Dave Thomas? Yeah, that's like the burger's square. Wait, why are the burger square? Because he doesn't cut corners. Got it. That's fun. That's fun. I actually like that.

I'm so sorry. I shook you so hard. Oh, man. Just took me a minute to catch up. I mean, if you're shook, imagine being in this brain. Hmm. But are you ever surprised by yourself? Mm-hmm. Oh.

Yeah, sometimes I'll make a noise and be like, whoa. Didn't know I can do that. Or I'll look at a picture of myself and be like, oh, why do I look like that? What do you mean? I took a picture the other day and I was so hunched over and I thought I was standing up straight. Oh, no. And I look crazy. Hunched? Like, were you posing?

Yes. Or was like candid? No, no, I was posing. But there's no rhyme or reason as to why I posed like. that was someone next to you who was shorter no it's just a pose you're just like i was posing next to like a statue that was taller than me and i went like this next to it there's like sometimes i do things that i'm like why well one of my favorite photos of you is you were at a call doing a show

Someone took a picture to me backstage And you're like All your extremities Were so limp Like look like your legs Were not moving And your arms were just

Hanging down And you're like Somehow your face was activated You were smiling But everything else was just loose And I was like What happened here? I don't know if I posted it

Or if I showed it You show it to me And I was like Why do I look like this? I showed it to my friend Nick, and he just said, no bones. And then he printed out the picture, and it's next to his guest bed. That's really funny. But it's Photoshopped with clouds around it.

It's like, I'm going to happen. And every now and again, he'll send the picture to me and say, no bones. Yeah, I truly like, yeah. Which I'm sure before the photo, you were like. talking, probably have, like, picking things up, and they were like, oh, say cheese. And you're like, it's flopped, deactivated. I don't know. I don't know why I did that.

Oh, boy. That was like the time when we went to a dinner and the serving utensils were so big, and they were trying to put the food down. And I went, oh, big spoon. And then I grabbed the spoon and immediately started. started posing for a picture and you're like, it's a video. And then I start crying. Oh, my God. Yeah, there's no, I'm surprised constantly by things that I do.

That's great, though. Is it? Are you surprised by things that you do? You seem to be fully in control of your body and self. I do feel pretty in control. Yeah, I don't think. I can't think of a time I've been like, whoa, can't believe I did that or said that. mm-mm mm-mm maybe sometimes I've said things where I'm like whoa but only because I hurt someone's feelings

we're like oh I didn't mean to be that mean whoopsies um I had a flight that was delayed and we had to re-scan our boarding passes when we got off and I went scan what and she was like your boarding pass I was like well I don't know where it is and she was like let me see it and I went hey I'm really sorry. And she went, it's fine. I was like, no, no, that was like really rude. And it's not your fault. And she went, hey, thank you. Because I truly was like,

and it did surprise me how angry I was. Also, I was surprised when we were in Hawaii and I wanted that bucket of soft serve and she wouldn't give you the bucket. Yeah, that was surprising for me too. And I threw a fit. That surprised me. I was like, that's crazy. You were just begging for scraps. Yeah, they were emptying the machine out to clean it.

And I said, give me the ice cream that you are cleaning out from the machine. And they're like, we legally can't do that. Give me that bucket. That surprised me when I said, give me the bucket. They're like, no, we're doing this for you. Just wait. Yeah, I'm constantly surprising myself. Yeah.

Yeah, it's wild being in this body. Sometimes on stage I'll surprise myself. And I wish I could remember what I said But I said something pretty quick Off of like something an audience member said And then I laughed and laughed And I went, wow, I've never said that sentence before Like I'll just straight up tell you

Oh, that was funny, right? Can you believe I said that? No, me, the comedian you paid to see was funny Can you believe it? They're like, huh, I trusted her. And then I did one show in Boston where my ADHD medicine had, like, worn off. And I had like two drinks before getting on stage. And I kept like doing this weird little dance.

And I kept going, ooh-hoo, I'm having a good time. And then finally I was like, are you? How are you guys doing? Or do you like this? They were like, yes. That's great. I mean, if you're having a good time, chances are the audiences too. Yeah, one could only hope.

I hope, yeah. Hey, I think we should do something. Okay. I think we should take a break. Oh, nice. New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. Now get a savory sausage McMuffin with egg, plus hash browns, and a small coffee for just $5. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary.

Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. And we're back. Okay, nice. I really like this shirt. Thank you. Is it new? No, it's not. Thank you.

No, it's not. It's not. I've never seen it before. That can't be true. I've had for a really long time. But I haven't worn it in a really long time. I'm trying to do that more. I'm also trying to do that.

And you and a couple other friends are coming over. we had a great debate over what like what next weekend means yeah because this was the first week of it was the first Sunday of December and someone was like next weekend and then one of our friends test was confused about what next weekend meant yeah because I think she said next weekend but I didn't know what she meant because we were talking on a Sunday the day was Sunday when we're texting and she's like next weekend and I was like I'm free not this coming weekend but the next weekend and then I put parentheses like the 14th and then she was like wait do you think that this coming weekend is not next weekend because this weekend is this weekend but it was Sunday

that weekend's toast it's right it's not the weekend anymore that's how I feel I was like so the next weekend is the next Friday yeah that's the next weekend and then the the the in two weekends is the weekend after next there was so much back and and forth that I just said, hey, we're all right. And then the, then it continued. And then I was unable to answer any more text messages from that thread. Unable to. I just simply was like, I can't put the brain power to this.

Oh, I understand. And then there was like a Christmas thing that I was like, wait, is this two separate things? Because there was like two different screenshots. And then they were like, no, it's the same one. And I was like, well, why did I get two different screenshots for the same thing? And then I just said, I can't. I just can't

Sometimes my brain just gets really overwhelmed And I simply can't do it Group text can be overwhelming Especially everyone's doing at the same time It's like, wait, I miss something like six text ago Because I didn't look at the site Or I didn't click the link yet And I don't know what we're talking about

That's yes, I think that's what it was Yeah And then when I clicked the link I was like But that looks like the same as the screenshot So I didn't have to click the link Oh Lord Yeah Because I'm trying to do more holiday stuff

Yeah, me too Trying to get in the spirit. I almost just said I was trying to shiver me timbers, and I was like, that doesn't make no sense. Don't say that. I'm trying to shiver me timbers this Christmas. Who says that, pirates? I shiver.

Shiver me timbers, I think. Does that mean, okay, I don't know what it means, but I'm guessing, is timber their wooden leg, and they're so scared that it's shivering? It's shiver me timbers. It's shivered me timbers. They're shaking in their boots. They're shaking in their peg leg?

Maybe. Maybe. It sounds good. I was going to be like, maybe it's someone from New York who's shaken in their tims. But the phrase definitely existed before them. Yes, way before. Yeah, I wonder. Allie, hit it.

The phrase is rooted in nautical slang where timbers refers to the wooden frame. of the ship and shiver means to vibrate or shatter which we know so it's the fear that a sailor would feel if a ship was battered so hard by waves that it's timbers violently shake good okay being a sailor is kind of wild like back in the day with no phones like navigating you mean yeah how did they navigate one two my husband's a sailor i'll know when he's coming back that does suck right you're like i guess i'll just see you i hope in a couple weeks months years and i don't even know if you're coming home yeah you could die and how will i get the the message you'll never know the ship could just sink yeah how would they read they don't have radios no

that's wild it is wild huh is that why they keep saying that people like discovered countries where there was people living because they didn't have navigation maybe Because wasn't Columbus looking for India? He was. He went the really, like, wrong way. Oh, so far. Like, in such a fucked up way. Yeah.

That's wild. That's wild that we celebrate that man. Oh, yeah. Well, one, because, like, he did a bunch of bad things. Yeah. But if we literally put all of his bad shit aside, this man got lost and said, look what I discovered and we said good job. We have been congratulating men for mistakes for too

long. Talking about a participation trophy. Yeah. And so we should have laughed at him. Yeah, but you loser. You said you were looking for India. Did that look like India? You're 80. Yeah. You're fucking landlocked. Grounded his ass. Were you a land kid or a sky kid?

I'll explain So Traveling just reminded me of like traveling So like When you reminded you Shut up Talking about sailing

Reminded me of traveling When you were a kid Did you take planes For like vacations Or did you drive? Mostly drove You were a ground kid I was a ground kid

That's what I was I was a ground kid Okay Were you guys Uh Ground kid I wanted to be a mermaid I think I was a water

No how did you travel to go to vacation Sorry I miss that what you want to be I want to be a whale I was a fly kid Oh that's so cool I was so jealous of the air kids Because they would fly to like Aruba and stuff We couldn't drive to Aruba

I never got to go to Aruba I did, I was a fly kid, an air kid, after my parents split. And then I had to be sent on a plane to go visit my dad. You were an unaccompanied minor? I was at a little note. Did they like pin it to you? Yes. What?

Yeah. That's funny. Which looking back, it's like, I'm a target now. Yes. Don't tell people I'm unaccompanied. That is actually really wild. Yeah. Because I'd be like, I'm going to scoop that one.

Yeah. That one doesn't have parents. But I was never alone. Huh? I said that one doesn't have parents. And then I put the addendum here. Here, with them. But yeah, I do feel like my parents left me with someone who, an employee.

And then that person led me to the gate. And then the flight attendant led me to my seat. So I was never like. You were never like. Where's 32? I wasn't like looking for anything. I was just like following adults. That's so wild to me.

Yeah. To be an unaccompanied minor Because then you have to just sit next to a strange adult This is true That must be overwhelming Yeah I don't really remember much I don't remember talking to anybody

I think people were just being nice to me I don't remember when I learned the airport This is a strange sentence But like I didn't really go to them as a kid And then as an adult, I just started flying. And I feel like I didn't have questions. I was like, I knew what a gate was.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, everything's numbered. Mm-hmm. The information is on your ticket. I dated somebody where we were on the phone and I was at the airport. And he's like, what are you doing? I said, sitting at the gate and he was like, what do you mean? Because he hadn't flown, I think, at all.

Or maybe he had flown once or twice. And he was like, is it a literal gate? And I was like, no. You have to know what a gate is. They're in movies. Right? Even if you haven't been to an airport You've seen one in a movie

That's how I felt I think you just wanted to be mad about something Yeah, probably But there are people who haven't flown at all And I guess, yeah, I guess if you haven't done it I'm trying to think, what have I not done ever? Been in a submarine? I would know how to navigate that.

Where do you get on? Where do you get in it? At a dock? Wait, that's, oh wait, I think you get on a ship and then the submarine is deployed from a ship? I have no idea. Because in Titanic, when Bill Paxton gets on the little submersible,

I think it was because I had the old lady fly to a ship. Hmm. And she had all her suitcases and photos and stuff, and her daughter was like, that's my mom. And they were on a ship. And then they got in a little one. I think you have to get to the big ship for the little underwater guy. Okay.

But what if it's like a big submarine? Oh, like a Navy one? Yeah. I think that's big ship, big urship. Really? I think you have to take a ship out to the middle of nowhere. I don't think you could drive a submarine from like the dock out. Yeah.

But again, I don't know. I'm just, I'm speculating, making assumptions. Taking big swings. Allie, do you know? It is possible to drive a submarine from a dock, but it requires specific skills and a way to operate the controls for steering and depth changes. It looks like most commonly it is like what we saw in the Titanic. Okay. Titanic has taught me so much.

I see. I love Titanic. It is such a good movie. Great movie. I would love to see it in theaters again. I'm sure they'll do a re-release. I think I missed the titular anniversary. Oh, no.

Because it came out in 1993. 97. Oh, 97. It's coming up. I got two years before we released. I'm excited. Yeah. I'm going to gather my girls.

Get the girls together. My girlfriends. And we're going to go. It's such, I loved it. I think I saw it twice in theaters. Nice. And it's long. It's long.

Was there an intermission or no? No. Oh, on the VHS, there's an intermission because there's two VHS tapes. Mm-hmm. Nice. So you can take your own intermission. Choose Winnie Well. Ooh, we should answer a question.

Let's do it. We really gab, gab, gab. Oh, we were gabbing. My jaw hurts. It's kind of hot in here. It's hot in here, but I like it. This is from D. Hi to my favorite podcast.

Thank you for making me feel not so alone in my apartment. while I attempt wild DIY furniture projects I saw on YouTube. I broke up with my boyfriend of three years last year and moved to a new city. The breakup was amicable, and I definitely knew I wouldn't want to be with him again. But his family is fun. I lost both my parents within the last decade, so I enjoyed the mom treatment from my exes, mother, and aunt. Fast forward to now, his mom reaches out and offers to fly me out to visit her and the favorite aunt. And I'm going in two weeks.

Is that weird? Am I one of those girls where the friend group should be like, the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know. Read me for filth. Love y'all. That's funny. Read me for filth. I honestly don't think that's weird.

I don't think it's weird. I think it's nice. Maybe like have a conversation with your ex and be like, does that make you uncomfortable? Yes. Because I love your family. And it seems like they like me too. But I don't want to overstep any bounds. But if your ex is cool with it,

Yeah, go. Hang out. Hang out. Have a surrogate family. Yeah. I think that's really nice because it's, they said that they ended amicably. Mm-hmm. So, like, there's no ill will towards each other.

Yeah. And it's like, as long as, like, the mom isn't, like, bringing up how much she likes this one over the new one or whatever. Yeah. I would just bring it up with your ex and be like, hey, does this make you feel bad? Yeah. If it does, I can stop. Mm-hmm. Yeah, go.

Go have a nice time. Yeah. Because I'm sure, like. The mom probably also, like, doesn't want her to not be around anymore. It's like, yeah, you're just a cool person. Yeah. I like that. I actually think it's really sweet.

I think it's sweet, too. I think it's nice when things don't work out, but you can still forge a friendship. Mm-hmm. Here's a question. If you were dating someone and, like, went to their family's Christmas or something and his ex was there, how would that make you feel? Mm-hmm. He's like, oh, we dated like six years ago and like she's my friend and my mom just loves her and she's like part of the family. If she looked like me, I would be upset or not upset.

It would make me spiral. But if she looked nothing like me and we were very different people, I would, I think I'd be okay with it. Okay. Yeah. Because I've dated people where I've met someone that they've dated before and they're still friends with and it didn't bother me because they're dating me. and that didn't work out and they still have a friendship and that's what you did before me

is not my business. Yeah, but it's mostly just the fact that this person's still in the family's life. As long as I'm not compared to that person, I'm absolutely fine with it. Yeah. Because she was there before me? Who am I to say? No.

Yeah. Great. Yeah, and also if it's like she lives in like his hometown or something and like they're not even in the same city, and they don't like, and they're not like super, even if they're close, I, I trust you. If I'm dating you, I trust you.

Yeah. Until you tell me otherwise. How would you feel? I think I, well, I think I would first be like, that's weird. But that's also because I also have my own family stuff. I'm like, you're going to hang out with some family that's not even yours. What's wrong with you? But then I'd be like, I guess, sure.

Yeah, as long as I don't see anything that feels like, suss. Yeah. as long as it's not like we go for Christmas and then they like make out as a hello and they're like, it's platonic and I'm like... She's like my sister. What?

No. Yeah. I think I would truly only have a problem if they looked like me. Mm-hmm. Like if they were like an iteration of me, I'd be like, you can't collect us and then keep one.

Will I be kept? Will I? Are you replacing my double? Well, another one come who looks like me. Yeah. Then I'll stay with the family. Mm-hmm. that's like that movie

here's the thing I said it's like that movie and then I really thought about it and it's not so okay the movie is with James McAvoy and he I wish I could remember the name of it but like he scoops kids keeps a kid

when a new kid comes kills the old kid and then keeps the new one oh no is a crazy movie oh no I don't know what it's called I don't either. But I saw it. Oh, no. I don't think I'm making it up.

Split? No. Oh. It came out within the last, like, two years. Hmm. And I ruined the movie. Like, you're not supposed to. That's the point.

That's the, yeah. My son? No. Maybe I've made this up. Did you make it up? I don't think so. James McAvoy. It's James McAvoy.

It's James McAvoy. Young Charles Xavier? Yeah. James McAvoy. Hmm. Yeah, kills kids and scoops up new ones. Yeah, but the Google search. Speak no evil?

Yeah, that's what it is. All right. Solved. Let's do one more. Wow, I'm really loony right now. This is from Anonymous, long-time listener who is beyond delighted that you two are back. So I recently started a new job where I became the manager of a handful of people. These people were previously managed by my current manager before I took over, and they had amazing relationships with all of them.

My manager is extremely social in a way I've never been. I'm quite awkward, reserved, and take a lot longer to open up to people. While I understand that I have to build my own relationships with the team, I find it really hard having to push myself to do so. I'm not trying to emulate my manager and their dynamics, but I'm not really sure how to approach these people, especially when most of them weren't open to this new change. What makes things harder is that I have a very close friend among my team. She invites me to all their group lunches, but I find myself declining most of the time. I want to be friendly, but I also don't want to blur the line between manager and friend because for HR and legal reasons, I really can't be their friend.

Any suggestions of what to do? Thank you. Tough. I've never worked in office? In a corporate setting. Yeah. And I'm sure at my retail jobs, there was HR. but

I never interacted with them Maybe I don't know call a meeting and be like hey I'm a little quiet I'm shy I don't know That's a bad idea Can you guys gather in please

I'm shy Maybe Maybe you can try fostering like one-on-one relationships with them instead of having like a group lunch like hey do you want to get a coffee do people have coffee breaks I don't know like

I don't know I've never worked in corporate America hey you want to go to the water cooler real quick yeah what did you watch last night like I don't know or maybe you could ask can you ask your past manager what they did

ding ding a link bitch yes yeah yeah I think Ask the prior manager who's now your boss. I'm not sure how to go about fostering a relationship or how to, like, interact in an appropriate way. Like, I know I shouldn't be going to lunches and stuff, but, like, can you give me some pointers? Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. And you'll probably get brownie points for asking their advice because people in charge love being asked for advice. That is so true. Love. Yeah. And it probably, what you saw with them and their relationships probably wasn't, like, the whole time. They probably developed in some sort of way. Yeah.

So maybe, yeah, maybe they'll have tips on, like, oh, this is how I started talking to this person or this, you know, whatever, a little cheat sheet. And maybe they'll send you to the water cooler. Do all offices, they must have some sort of water hydration station. I would think so. Right? Keep everyone going? Yeah, they got to have water somewhere. I don't even know how you get a job in corporate America.

Get a communications degree and then get on LinkedIn? Yeah. Jobs.com? Isn't there a jobs.com? I think there's a jobs.com. Indeed? What? Indeed.com?

No. Indeed? That must have surprised you. It did. It is funny. Yeah, that's something I'm so ignorant about. Like, I don't know anything. about corporate America or, like, the things that go along with it.

And so many people do those jobs. So many people do. Mm-hmm. My goodness. Wow. Salt? Hopefully. Yeah.

Okay. Well, I think that's it from this episode. Yeah. If you have a question, a query, a concern, and if you have a phone and you want to call us or text us, 323. 238-6554. Nice. And you've had...

Nice. Nice. Indeed. And if you want to email us, you can email Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com. Well, signing off from Los Angeles, California. Goodbye. Best Friends is a production of Headgun Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan.

executive producers, Anya Kanofskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Rochelle Chet. That was a hate gum podcast.