Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer is a Daring Soul

Episode Date: February 18, 2026

Nicole and Sasheer have so much to dish about this week, covering everything from the Black Eyed Peas and Vanilla Ice's decision making to revisiting one of the best legging reviews of a...ll time. Nicole also brings a show-and-tell presentation for Sasheer that marks an important first for the Headgum studio - nothing like this has ever been done before!! Our favorite pair also gets into the NBA (as a company), track and field, and bringing back the legendary Creamy Sisters.Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at (323) 238-6554‬ or write in at nicoleandsasheer@gmail.com.Best Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:01 This is a headgum podcast. Sick for the last few days. I hated it. I know. It was just the way you said it. I was sick for the last few days. Me? I was sick.
Starting point is 00:00:30 I'm sorry that you were sick. Yes, you were sick and we missed getting hot dogs and soft serve. I know. I was really looking forward to it. Me too. Yeah. Getting sick really sucks. Gosh darn it.
Starting point is 00:00:45 Oh, man, I hate getting sick. I heard it here first. Getting sick. Yeah, because like, you know, I think it's one thing if it's like, oh, I was stomping around barefoot in the snow or like I was running around the rain with no jacket. But it's like I was just living my life. What are these situations? I was stomping barefoot in the snow? You know, things that get you sick.
Starting point is 00:01:15 When have you ever stomped barefoot in the snow? Well, I haven't. I'm sure someone has. probably got sick right after. Okay, fair. But, you know, if you're just like living your life, and I don't think I encountered any sick people, and then all of a sudden, a chew.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Were you sneezing? I was sneezing. Oh. I was sneezing. Oh. I guess I was it. Sneezing coffee. No runny nose.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Oh, I had a runny nose, blowing my nose a lot. Yeah. Was it allergies or was it sickness? No, it was a cold. Ugh. Yeah. And people keep being like, oh, something's going around. I feel like something's always going around.
Starting point is 00:01:53 Something is always going around. It is so fucking annoying. If it's not COVID, it's another mystery fucking sickness. Truly. I don't like it. I don't like it either. How do we stop it? Vaccines?
Starting point is 00:02:06 It doesn't actually stop it. It's still going around. Yeah. I, yeah, in December had a nasty little cold. But also, maybe it was allergies. I don't know. My allergies are crazy sometimes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:19 It was also like hard because it doesn't get cold in L.A. I mean, it's like chilly. Yes. It's not like, whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Ah, the wind.
Starting point is 00:02:30 Mm-hmm. Also, I feel like there was like, well, I guess we're not out of the blizzard season. Or there's like a huge storm that's happening. And like, people were like, well, it came late. Someone was like, this is a black storm because it came late. And also like, it's not a lot. lot of snow. It's like barely anything. And people were like, this is like nothing. People were like harboring water. Came late, left early. That's a black blizzard. That's really funny. Did you see,
Starting point is 00:03:04 I'm obsessed with the mayor of New York. He's been making videos. He was shoveling snow. I didn't see him shoveling snow. Yeah, he's out there. He's doing a lot of work. It's so nice. It's really interesting because I was, I don't know, I got like lost. in a hole and I was watching videos of Eric Adams. That man was crazy. That man was wildly insane. I cannot believe he was the mayor. And then the new mayor, you know, he's great.
Starting point is 00:03:34 Mandami? Mondami. Mondami. Boy, oh, boy. But yeah, there was a, God, it was a video of Eric Adams like walking through a room and he was like, this is where your kids could have drugs. like obsessed with like talking about kids hiding drugs.
Starting point is 00:03:51 Oh. He is, I saw a tweet that was like, one day Tracy Morgan will win an Oscar for portraying Eric Adams. And I was like, I don't know if that's far off. And he doesn't have to act at all. Nope. It's so funny. Wait, where is his sweater from? It's a vintage store. I love it. Thanks. The bottom looks like teeth.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Oh, does it remind you of your tooth? Everything's reminding me with my tooth. I can't believe you don't want to look at it. Show me your two. Oh, she's shuffling. She's so excited. I'm so ready. That's my tooth.
Starting point is 00:04:30 That is her tooth. It is big. Isn't that huge? Yeah. Is this blood? Maybe. There's red on it. They didn't wash it off.
Starting point is 00:04:43 And you didn't either. I didn't. Am I supposed to? You don't, I mean, it's yours now. You can do whatever you want with it. Well, it's like sealed. So I didn't think I was supposed to. to open it up.
Starting point is 00:04:52 You could take it out of there and wash it and then seal it up again. Yeah, that's blood. It's pretty gruesome. Isn't it? Yeah. And then do you see the little thing poking out? Oh, wait.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Let me see it. That's the instrument. Whoa, but it's all the way at the bottom of the two. Yes. So it was like poking into my gum. Oh my God. Horrific stuff.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Horrific stuff. Well, you can use that as evidence to freaking take those people to court. Yeah. I'm going to sue. You should. don't know how um yeah i don't know do you need a special like medical lawyer or like can any lawyer do that personal injury lawyer i think a personal injury lawyer yeah maybe i'll get my entertainment
Starting point is 00:05:33 lawyer on the case yeah they'll help you find a lawyer who does that yeah yeah yeah you should i should because that's crazy isn't it they can't be leaving things in you i know but then i was reading that that's like a normal thing that happens oh my gosh if a non-specialist does it uh And, yeah, just happens. Yeah. But I don't think it happens where you can, like, mine went really low. Mine was poking out of the tooth. Isn't that crazy?
Starting point is 00:06:04 Which like, so was it, did it, that instrument go all the way through your tooth to the bottom? Or it is? That's what you're seeing, yes. Oh, my God. Of course you were in pain for so long. Good Lord. Yeah. And that's a while?
Starting point is 00:06:19 I'm really glad it's out of you. Me too. I might see your dentist too because I I had a dentist that was like walking distance from my house and I was like hell yeah this is the best but they're just like very old school and I really don't like I feel like I've talked about this before
Starting point is 00:06:38 when they clean your teeth and they use a little scrappy scrappy tool and I'm like it hurts is there some other thing that can be done and I went to another dentist that was like it on their website they said like they're more natural and you know it just felt like the word health was all over the place yes it was green washed and and they're like yeah we can do like I can't remember the term but it's like with water like more with like like a water pick yeah yeah I guess yeah a power wash for your teeth
Starting point is 00:07:11 and but then he he was like but I really do want to use dennis was like I really want to use a scrape I'm going to please. And I was like, but I don't like it. It hurts. And he was like, but I got it.
Starting point is 00:07:24 And I was like, all right. And then he got the little pick. And it wasn't as bad. He used it less. But I was still like, I just don't want that. And then he was like,
Starting point is 00:07:31 we got to replace some of your fillings, which maybe we did have to replace me fillings. But I also feel like I got upsold. Like, they were like, since you're here. The dentist I'm going to now. I like. And she was like,
Starting point is 00:07:46 things have been done incorrectly, but they're not. not it's not urgent to have them fixed. Yeah. So we'll just keep an eye on them. Mm-hmm. So I don't think she's into upselling. And then she made me go get a second opinion before I even had the tooth pulled.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Yeah. So I do think she is good. I will give you her information. Yeah. She's very nice. Everyone there is so nice. I like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also because I went to the dentist and he like replaced one filling. And then when I came back.
Starting point is 00:08:18 back. He wasn't there. Some other lady was there. And I was like, I want the guy who already looked in here. I don't want a different person. Mm-hmm. I understand that. Yeah. I think there's only one dentist at this dentistry. That's nice. Dentistry? Dentistry. Dentistry. Dentistry.
Starting point is 00:08:40 They're like, that's not what it's called. We're coming for you. They'd be really funny. There's just dead silence and nobody heard the siren. Yeah. They're like, why are they pausing? Oh my God, I don't want to get on a plane tomorrow. Yeah. If I could snap my fingers and be somewhere, that would be my optimal choice of travel. Me too. I don't like the travel part.
Starting point is 00:09:04 No, I like going places. Same. I don't like the journey in between. It's terrible. Terrible. And, okay, maybe you'll want to do this with me. I want to take the train from here to San Diego. Okay, I want to do that.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Yeah. Yeah. And then say, oh, that's what I want. And then stay at this really beautiful hotel. Oh, I've seen many videos about it. It looks like your house. Yes. Oh, my, have you been?
Starting point is 00:09:34 No, but a friend is there right now. It's the only reason I know. Text them right now and ask if they're having a good house time. I want to go so, it looks so beautiful. It does look really beautiful. I just want to be overwhelmed with texture and colors and things of that sort. I'm into it. What's another place you're trying to get to?
Starting point is 00:09:54 What's another place I'm trying to get to? I don't know. I guess it's in my Instagram. I do say things on my Instagram, but I don't say them in my head where I'm like, I want to go here. Let me get my phone. Get your phone.
Starting point is 00:10:07 I'll vamp while you go. Vamp, girl. Okay, Sashir, she crossed the room. She is now looking in her white bag, which to me is crazy to carry a white bag. But Sashir wears white a lot. She's a very daring soul. I'm trying to channel June, Diane, Raphael.
Starting point is 00:10:26 She wears so much white. I know. And she's never staying. I know. She always looks so good. That's a woman. She is a woman. It's so wild that we've talked about her so many times, just being a woman.
Starting point is 00:10:36 I was so impressed. I was stunned. I do remember the first time I saw her. I was like, whoa. She's such a beautiful woman. Yes. It's just like, yeah, just very poised, but hilarious. Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:49 We loved her. I wonder if she knows how much we love her and how often we talk about her. She's so pretty. I know. We got her back. We really do. And the whole episode will be like, you're so pretty. I can't believe you're wearing white here.
Starting point is 00:11:11 And you about to talk to us? I know. I know. I did that on purpose. I did it. Okay. Let's see. This is.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Oh, there's a place that is sandboarding. Where is this? In Colorado. Sandboarding in Colorado. That sounds cool. That sounds wild. Yeah. Have you ever been snowboarding?
Starting point is 00:11:32 No. I love that you're skipping the snow and heading to sand. But I guess because I don't like cold. So I'm like, I'll do it in the desert. Okay. And sand and snow are probably as hard to land on. There probably isn't one that's better than the other. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:48 I don't think so because snow is compassionate. So it probably feels like a sand hill dune. And then. Oh, there's a flower show in Philadelphia in March. I saved that. Oh, did you send this to me? The pencil? No, this is some, is a neon sign museum in Ohio.
Starting point is 00:12:22 did send that to you. I want to go there. I want to go to the pencil sharpening in Minnesota. Oh, I do want to see that to you. I've truly given no context. People are listening and be like, what? A man erected a gigantic pencil in his front yard
Starting point is 00:12:38 and every year there's a festival from, I believe it starts at noon and ends at 2 to sharpen that pencil. And thousands of people show up and I want to go. This year I want to go. I think it's in May. Great. I, yeah, I like stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:12:55 I love dumb stuff. Fellowship Community. Community. Um, what is this? Oh, this is also in Ohio. We can make a whole Ohio trip. Yeah, let's go to Ohio. Oh, this is maybe, this is like a hotel.
Starting point is 00:13:10 Like a fun hotel. A fun hotel. This is a hotel. A fun hotel. It looks like a theater maybe. Oh, a theater hotel. You know, do monologues to get in the bed? Pff.
Starting point is 00:13:22 as I walked from the bathroom to lay my head down. I got a lot of train stuff on here. Yeah, trains and outdoorsy stuff. Okay. We should make, what is that, a shared document? Yes. You can make a shared document. What's it called?
Starting point is 00:13:47 Where we both have access to it? A shared document. Oh. We should make a shared document. a shared document. On Google Drive? Ah, a Google Doc. A Google Doc.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Okay. That's what I was trying to get at. I see, I see. I knew there was a branded shared document, and I wanted to make sure I said it. We also share a note. Mm. Yeah. I don't think I knew that.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Yeah. On the Notes app. I've sent them to people, but I didn't know they could, like, do stuff on it. There's like a collaborate option. Oh. Stop. Collaborate. Listen.
Starting point is 00:14:32 We love that song. We love it so much. Who sings that? Stop. Collaborate and listen. Vanile ice. It's vanilla ice, right? Yes.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Mm-hmm. But he's bad now. So we don't like him. Yeah. So we're not going to stop and we're not going to collaborate and we're not going to listen. Stop ice. Even vanilla ice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Stop all ice. Vanilla ice out Yeah, get vanilla ice out of here Is he bad? Because he like did something Trumpy recently right? Did he? I feel like...
Starting point is 00:15:10 I know Kid Rock is bad. Yes, and he's been mad for a while. All the hard whites are bad. Yeah. Truly the white. He's a ice cube. Oh, the icy ice. I see, I see.
Starting point is 00:15:24 The hard. Yes, hard white. Okay, yeah, Vanilla Ice performed his hit Ice Ice Baby at Donald Trump's New Year's Eve Party at Mara Largo in 2025. Dang. So that was it. And then he's been associated with MAGA. And then, but he's also said that his performances at these events are not about politics, but about having fun. No, he wants a paycheck.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Yeah, he wants money. That's a fun way to say, I'm broke. I would like for that check to clear. I wonder how much he's getting paid to do these things. Yeah, I wonder how much Nikki Minaj got paid. Yeah, that sucks. Right? That's so sad.
Starting point is 00:16:10 But then she had like a tweet recently that was like, you know, I came here, I came to this country as an immigrant and what's happening is really sad. Yeah, girl. Yes, it is. It's devastating. She's just a little confused about everything that's going on. Yeah, she's like, yeah. You know, maybe too much butt stuff.
Starting point is 00:16:32 It gets to your brain. Yeah. Yeah, maybe the silicone is leaking. The juice is loose. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I want to leave the country on a trip.
Starting point is 00:16:46 But I don't know where, I don't know where I want to go. Yeah. Europe? Europe's pretty big. Yeah, yeah. Europe. I was just trying to start with, you know, We can get smaller and smaller.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Yeah. I don't know. I'm like in the mood to plan something big and bold and beautiful. Oh, big bold and beautiful. Big bold and beautiful. Three bees. Mm, baby, big, big. Big, big.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Maybe Egypt? I've never seen the pyramids. I haven't either. Maybe we should go see the pyramid. I did see a video where someone was like, I waited hours for this. And they showed a what it looked like on the inside. And you're like in a line going up like really thin, tiny, and you have to like duck.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Oh. But I think the outside is still gorgeous. Oh. And it probably still is worth it to go inside. Be like, I have gone inside the pyramids. But, yeah, it was one of those Instagram versus reality things. We went to
Starting point is 00:17:42 like Aztec pyramids in Mexico. And I remember they were like, you can climb to the top. And I said, see you later. Sister. Was it nice up there? Yeah. It was nice.
Starting point is 00:17:53 The view was really great. But it also was like a lot of climbing. and then to go down, you were just like waiting to go down because everyone, it was like a very limited space to go down and people were like sliding on their butt because you couldn't like, it weren't proper stairs. Oh, yes. So you couldn't like just walk down the stairs.
Starting point is 00:18:13 It was kind of dangerous. So we're like sliding. That is a little scary. Have you ever seen that review on Amazon? It's a picture of a woman on her back sliding down a hill and the review is, I slid down a full hill in this and they didn't even rip. I'm going to buy 10 more pairs.
Starting point is 00:18:29 It was like a review for her pants. For like leggings. That's really funny. I thought it was very funny. I sweat down this hell. The picture is deeply funny. It's one of those things where you're like, why would you ever post that about yourself?
Starting point is 00:18:41 That's a good review. You're like, wow, they really won't rip. People post such embarrassing things on the internet. To the point where I'm like, why did you? Why? Because I guess they thought it was funny. Yeah. Or are they really?
Starting point is 00:18:57 thought it was just for their friends. Yeah. And then it reached more people. There was, there's, um, this was like around new years. I don't know who this person is, but they posted something that was like,
Starting point is 00:19:10 I want to like, like celebrate every day or like really recognize time passing. So I'm going to collect a button for each day of, of 2026. And people were like, and then what are you going to do with the buttons? And she was like, that's not your business. And then, But are you like collecting the buttons to make it into something?
Starting point is 00:19:30 Or like, what do the buttons represent? And she's like, I don't know you. I don't have to explain this to you. It's just people being like, but what do the buttons mean? I love that. I love that so much. It isn't anyone's business. But it is funny because it's like, well, you did kind of make it my business.
Starting point is 00:19:47 You told me that you're going to collect buttons and now have follow-ups. And it's like, I don't owe you an explanation for what I'm doing with those. What do you think she's going to do with those buttons? I don't know. Melt them down and make one big button. That'd be great, but I don't even think she's thought that far. Oh, that's the lady. She's in peril.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Who took the picture of her? That was a mean friend. Do you understand what I'm saying? Like, she saw that and was like, I'm going to post that to show the people that they should buy these leggings. That's so funny. Can I just say that I will be reordering them in every color? Here is me rolling and sliding down a mountain because I was too scared to get up. My leggings did not rip, not even a little bit, and I got stuck on rocks and trees.
Starting point is 00:20:33 She got stuck on trees? Rocks and trees. That's so funny. And her friends just like, click, click, click, click. Also, she is not wearing hiking shoes. Yeah, she was not prepared for this hike. It's really funny to me. It's so funny to be fully on your back when you're sliding.
Starting point is 00:20:53 Because you can't see where you're going. Of course she got stuck on trees. I mean, neither of these positions are good, I think, for going down a hill. Yeah, she could just, yeah, that's very funny. I wonder where she is now. She's like, I'm going to hike some more in these leggings. A, let her out some. Yeah, I wonder if she's still, A, has the leggings.
Starting point is 00:21:14 B, if she's still hiking. See if she's still friends with the person who took that picture. I mean, clearly she doesn't have any qualms about the picture because she posted it. It's so funny. It's really funny. Oh, it's deeply funny. to me. Yeah, but I think that's what the button girl was experiencing, too, where she's like, I just
Starting point is 00:21:32 posted this for herself and her friends probably, and then it blew up because people were like, what do the buttons mean? And she's like, I don't know any of you. And I'll owe you an explanation. I love that. I think that's genuinely so funny. I don't owe you an explanation. I hope somebody comes back to the post in a year and they're like, what did you do with
Starting point is 00:21:53 the buttons? She's like, I don't need to tell you. It's from my eyes only. I wonder if I've ever done anything where I was like, this is just for me. I tell people all my business. Yeah, I feel like what you post is for public consumption. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:15 I guess I did post a picture like that lady falling down the mountain. I was learning how to roller skate in 2020 and I fell right in the gutter, truly like in the gutter. and John Milhizer, quick as Thunder is what I was going to say. I've never heard that phrase. Quick as lightning. Yeah, quick as lightning.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Pulled out his phone and took a picture. And it was deeply funny to me. This is very funny. I do want to get back into roller skating. Me too. Yeah. We should do it. Let's do it.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Maybe you can find a roller skating retreat in a different country. Okay. Let's do that. Yeah. That sounds like a nice time. I think so. I was trying to roller skate the other day
Starting point is 00:22:56 because I have that faux floor underneath my pole and I was trying to go like around the pole It was so hard Yeah I think I need more space Yes Because it's not
Starting point is 00:23:06 It's such a tight space I think you can do spins there Mmm Yeah I could Yeah Yeah I feel like all the ground around my house has like lines in it. It's not very long before I hit a divot.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Yes. And my faux floor is just squares put together. So there's a ton of little divvets. And then when I walk on it and heels, sometimes it's a little hard. I'll hit something weird. I'm like, oh no, and I'll grab him a pole. Yeah. There's like a skate park near my house and there's like a flat area of con. that I have skated on before. But something about just getting my skates in the car, driving to the place. Those are only two steps. But even that, I was like, yeah, it's a whole thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Sometimes it's a little too hard to get in your car and go somewhere when it's like, oh, the destination is fun. I'm literally just going for fun. Yeah, it's not like something else is happening. Yeah. But maybe I even leave my skates in my car. That'd be easier. I'm passing it.
Starting point is 00:24:18 He's like, Roller about a little bit. Yeah. I mean, yes. Yeah. I have a basketball in my car. We have lots of activities in your car. You have so many things.
Starting point is 00:24:28 I have my pole shoes with me at all times. I do have my roller skates with me, although they're not in my car right now. I have a basketball, but it's now a little deflated. So the heat, the cold, expanding and contracting. So you can only shoot it.
Starting point is 00:24:43 You can't dribble it right now. You also put an air pump in your car for the best. Oh my lord, I should. I absolutely should. I probably during the pandemic, I had so many things in my car just because it was like... Yeah, just in case. Well, I could go to a park at any moment.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Someone might invite me outside at any moment and I have to be ready. Yeah, I used to have like a picnic blanket. Yeah, I had a ton of stuff in my car. And like a tent for shade. I feel like I had a wagon because I was like, I'm going to work outside too. So I would like set up and have my whole life so I can be outside. for the whole day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Yeah. Those were the days. Interesting times. Those interesting times. Mm-hmm. Those were days for sure. Yep. Those were days.
Starting point is 00:25:29 Mm-hmm. Yeah. I don't spend as much time outside anymore. Yeah. Yeah, that is true. I was outside a lot. It felt like being a kid. It did feel like being a kid.
Starting point is 00:25:39 I was constantly doing cartwheels and parks. Yeah. Not anymore. I miss it. Yeah. I mean, not like the global pandemic. of it all. No.
Starting point is 00:25:49 I miss being outside and doing cartwheels outside. Yeah, we can do that during a pandemic. I guess we could. We could. Hey, we could. Hey, the Creamy Sisters. Doing cartwheels in the park. Who are those Creamy Sisters?
Starting point is 00:26:05 Carwheeling all over the place. I almost texted you this morning to be like, would you like to be the Creamy Sisters today? And I forgot. Next time. Because I was like, I have to get dressed and I have to just get ready. I have to get ready. And thank you for the text this morning.
Starting point is 00:26:18 that was like, hey, just so you know, earlier time than usual. It's tough for me. It's tough. It's so hard to, I don't know how people just like, okay, one, just fall asleep. That's crazy talk. Yeah. I have such a hard time going to sleep. And I don't know how people just get out of bed.
Starting point is 00:26:35 I actually have been sending my alarm earlier than I actually want to get out of bed because it does, I do have a transitional period where I roll around. And I'm awake. I'm just like, I need to do this. Like move from side to side for a minute. And then like I like tuck my legs underneath my body and just like lay on them for a minute in a different position, like a little turtle. And I'm like, okay, now I'm in this position. It looks closer to getting up. And then I'm like, all right, now I'm going to get up.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Yeah. But that takes maybe half an hour. See, I wish I could do that because I will set my alarm for an hour before I'm supposed to get up. But every time I look at that alarm, I'll look at my calendar and go, well, this is much earlier than I need to be up. And then I'll hit snooze, snooze, snooze until it's past the time of getting up. And then I have to like rush around and yell at Clyde and throw on clothes and then like run out my door. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:35 I'm also trying to like keep track of how long it takes me to get ready because I like in my mind I'm like, I can get ready in a half hour. I can never get ready and a half hour. That's a lie. I will never get ready in a half hour. And so it's like, no, I actually do need the hour to get myself together. Honestly, I tell myself an hour. I need an hour and a half because I need to put on the outfit, not like the outfit, put on a different outfit, hang back up the old outfit, put on rings, decide I don't want those rings, put on a necklace, decide I don't want that. Put on earrings, take them out, do my hair.
Starting point is 00:28:09 But, like, I need the time. Me the time. Yeah. Lord, Lord. Lord. We got to take a break. Quince is all about elevated essentials that feel effortless. Designed for layering and mixing, each piece helps build a timeless wardrobe made to last.
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Starting point is 00:33:32 Lord, Lord, Lord. And we're back. And we're back. Yeah. But I also, like, for me, my cortisol goes up when I am running late and it does not make me feel good and then whenever I get to the thing
Starting point is 00:33:49 if I'm like meeting someone or if I have an audition or whatever now I'm stressed and I'm like not at my best I'm not chill I'm not easy breezy and I'm like I should just get there earlier so I don't feel this way even if the person I'm meeting is like not upset
Starting point is 00:34:07 there's no stakes like it's actually fine I'm actually not at my best. I'm not at 100%. So it's like, you know what? Give yourself time. So when you show up, I feel good. And I'm like, okay, I'm ready to do whatever this thing is and do it the best I can. Instead of being like, sorry, I'm sweating.
Starting point is 00:34:27 And like, you know, like, I don't want that feeling anymore. Uh-huh. I agree. But anytime I'm running late and I do get there on time, I'm like, ha, I did it. I defied logic and reason. I got there so quickly. I cut several people off in traffic. I did it.
Starting point is 00:34:46 I did it. And I'm so proud of myself. And I guess I'm like, ha ha, I didn't have to wake up earlier. Jokes on you, world. You can get me in time. And then every time I'm late, I'm like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And then I have to be like, I'm sorry. I woke up.
Starting point is 00:35:05 There's no excuse. Yeah, I just left late. And I've stopped making up excuses. I used to be like traffic or like, and I'm like, why am I lying to these good people? There's no excuse. I found things to do in my home. I had to put laundry in before leaving.
Starting point is 00:35:25 Don't know why. I had to water my guard. I don't know. Yeah, it would just be nice if I just left early. Yeah. I also like, even if I'm not running late, I, my brain is not on my side. Like, I can be my own worst enemy and criticize myself even when I'm doing well.
Starting point is 00:35:50 So if I'm running late, I'm in the car being like, you piece of shit, what was wrong with you? You stupid. You didn't have to into the dishwasher. And I'm like going through the day and being like, I could have not done this. I could have not done this. If I had not hit snooze. And it's like, I'm also like beating myself up before I get to. to the place and it's like, I also want to eliminate that.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That negative chatter because it's actually like, it's hurting my feelings. I'm hurting my own feelings. You're hurting your own feelings, yeah. I don't do that. I go, what was I doing? And I'm like, what was? Huh.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Ooh, the light turned green. Uh-oh. This person won't drive. I'm really in the moment about being late. No, I'm only in the past and like reliving it and I don't like it. And I don't like it. Oh, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:34 I'm sorry. Get like me and just forget about what you do. did 20 minutes ago and start yelling at the people on the street. I can't. That's not how my brain works. Afterwards, when I get home, I'll go, why did you do that? That's when I start beating myself up. Or like, after a meeting when I'm driving home, I'm like, oh, you could have, you could
Starting point is 00:36:55 have just been early. Yeah. You, what? Why? Yeah. In 26, let's try to get early. Yeah. The way that was phrased was wild for me.
Starting point is 00:37:06 In 2026, let's get early. Let's get early. Let's get early. Let's get early. You're here. Let's get early. Let's get early. And that's the remix to let's get it started, which was also a remix.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Isn't it crazy that they released that song? And then immediately had to be like, here's the remix. Like there's so many people that checked it off. And they were like, yeah. They cleared it. They saw the title. Yes. And they're like, sure.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Then they heard the track. And they're like, yeah. Release it. Release it. They put it on the radio. On the radio. And you were like, what? Wait, Ali, can you look up when the original version came out as opposed to
Starting point is 00:37:49 Let's Get It Started? Yeah, what year was that? Because it was like, even then, it's like, even then it was 20 years old. And even then, it was too late to be doing that. Right? But it is wild that it came out was I remember the original version on the radio and then just a hard pivot to never hearing it again. Like, never mind.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Yeah, what year to, let's get it started come out. Yeah, how long did it take? It was a single. They said this one. Get it out there. It was on an album and then someone said, we have to highlight this song. Yeah, so it was also like, did it go under the radar on Ella Funk? Were people like, I just, I don't want to address that.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Maybe. Maybe Ella Funk was gaining steam and they're like, oh, we should release as a single and, like, pump it to the radio stations. This is showing our best. This is the best shake we've ever made. Which is a great song. It's just that one word. So, okay, both of them came out in 2004. Okay.
Starting point is 00:38:45 So very quickly, they were like, We got to remedy this. That's so the same year. They were like, whoa. And the beginning of it, when it's like, let's like, Fergie. Yes. It's soulfully.
Starting point is 00:39:07 Breaking it down. It is honestly wild. And then you had to do many takes probably. And then? No, you know, sing higher on this part. That's so crazy. Yeah. Black-Ead peas.
Starting point is 00:39:28 Oh, and then also I'm seeing on Reddit that the original version of the song was used for promotion for the 2004 NBA playoffs and was rework. And that's why it was reworked to be appropriate for TV. and the new version was so well received that the song got its own official single. Oh. So they're like... Wait, that's so funny. Nobody had qualms about it. You're like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:53 But then the NBA was like, we should probably not put this on broadcast. No. The NBA was like, no, let's get it started. Let's get the playoffs started. Yeah, yeah. There was no qualms. Oh, so it wasn't like because it was offensive? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Oh. And the people are like, hey, I like this version better. I don't know why. I feel okay listening to this actually. This one feels really good. Wow. That's funny. I do like the NBA.
Starting point is 00:40:27 Do I watch basketball or know anything about it? No. But I like the NBA. What? You like the NBA as a company. Because they let their players speak out and like have their opinions if they are political or whatnot. they actually put their money to good causes. And I'm comparing it to the NFL where they're like, no, like,
Starting point is 00:40:54 they were mad at Colin Kaepernick for such a long time. I think they're still mad at him. Yeah. I don't even know if he's playing. And I remember during the pandemic when they had to like have no audience for the NBA on the court, they, I feel like they had like Black Lives Matter on the court. So it's like everyone's going to see this, which like, that makes sense. Most of the players are black.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Yeah. I just really feel like the NBA. as a company. Doing really good things. Heard here first. Sashir loves the National Basketball Association. She loves it. I love that you feel so strongly about the NBA
Starting point is 00:41:31 and I've never known this about you. Well, because at the time I was dating someone who was watching football and basketball and I was like, you know what? The NBA is really good things. The NFL, not so much. Not so much. Don't really like them.
Starting point is 00:41:46 But I do feel like Jay-Z. Why don't I know so much about this? I do feel like, Daisy is doing some good, like, sneaky good stuff with the Super Bowl halftime show? Oh, yeah, because he's the arbitrator. Yeah. I don't know. Did I use that work correctly? I guess.
Starting point is 00:42:01 He's the liaison. Yeah. He plans it? He plans it, yeah. He picks the artist. Artists, probably artist liaison or something like that. He's the artist liaison. But, yeah, I do feel like, you know, like bad bunny.
Starting point is 00:42:13 That's a choice. And Green Day. And Green Day. I do like that. Yeah, he's like that. You want white people? I'll get the wokeest white people I get fined. That's really funny.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Oh, y'all don't like bad bunny? You want me to get a white? How about a white who doesn't? American idiot. Yeah. He's like actively saying fuck trunk all the time. I love it. That is very, very funny.
Starting point is 00:42:37 I also, I don't love the NBA, or not the NBA, the NFL draft process. Oh, because it feels like, it feels like buying slaves? Yes, it feels like a slave trade. It's like, look at these bodies. and do-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-do. Yeah. I don't love it. But also, I don't know if the NBA draft is like that.
Starting point is 00:42:55 I feel like they wear suits and they're like, look at them, dunk. Look at them, dunk. I don't know. They all wear suits, I think. Oh, do they? Yeah. I think the draft might be like the same way. I don't actually know.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Me either. But they're like, yeah, they're watching it happen and it happened in real time and they're calling the families and. Yeah. I do like the NBA. I also love the WMBA. Yes. We still need to go see.
Starting point is 00:43:18 We still need to go to the game. What is her name? Ellie. Ellie the elephant for the New York Liberty. She's getting down and dirty. She's wagging that butt. She's spinning that ponytail tail. Yes, she is.
Starting point is 00:43:31 Yeah, she's fun. I wish I could remember which WMBA games I've been to. I've been to two. Oh, nice. I wish I could remember. They were fun. Mm-hmm. I like that their ball is smaller.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Okay. Yeah. Because ladies have smaller hands. I guess so, yeah. We got to take a break. Let's take a break. Today's episode is brought to you by Alma. A year from today, who do you want to be?
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Starting point is 00:49:10 I played basketball in middle school. I didn't play in high school. Here's the thing. I was growing wider and not taller. Not taller, just getting fucking fat. And the thought of running up and down the court was just too exhausting for me. Yeah. But I was a power forward.
Starting point is 00:49:31 I was really good at boxing out because I got that ass. Yeah, definitely. And I was like pretty good at like being able to like grab. I was good at like moving my body to move the girls out of the way to get a rebound. I can see that. That's great. I could have been great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Had I wanted to run. But I simply didn't. Yeah. If the court was smaller, I'd do it. Yeah. We're doing half court. I got you. Yeah. I did play basketball in middle school. I really can't remember what position I was in. I didn't play that much. I wasn't very good at it. Oh, I would say forward or center.
Starting point is 00:50:06 I think center, actually. And yeah, even though, like, I also was on the track team at the time. But I remember being pretty slow as a basketball player. Really? Yeah. Or maybe I just wasn't like quick like with the ball. I don't know. But I didn't love it and they didn't love me. Oh. Like the players didn't love me. I just feel like the game. The game. The game didn't love me. The game didn't love me back. Do you, what did you do in track? I did the four by four and the 400. That's 400 meters? Mm-hmm. Yes. Is it meters or feet? I think meters, right?
Starting point is 00:50:47 Girl, I don't know. I don't know either. 400 feet doesn't seem too far. But maybe it is? I don't know. I don't know. It's just one-fourth of the track. I just know that. Oh.
Starting point is 00:51:00 I think, yeah, it's 400 meters. Yeah. And then that's it. Wait, what's 100? Then there's like a 100 yard. Dash, yeah. Like a sprint? Yeah, I thought that was a quarter of the...
Starting point is 00:51:14 Huh. What are all the races in track and field? Okay, so there are sprints, which is 100 meters to 400 meters. Middle distance is 800 meters to 3,000 meters. And then long distance is 5,000 meters plus. And then there's also hurdles and relays. Did you do relays? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Yeah, those were only two I did. And I can't remember where I would be. on the relay. Because I feel like they needed the best person, like, third. Mm-hmm. Because they had that. I feel like that was going to determine who was going to win. Ah, I thought it was best person last.
Starting point is 00:52:01 But I guess it's like you want to get that lead on the third. Yeah. And the fourth one brings it on home. Yeah. It is like, I think the last two are the most important. Mm-hmm. They don't remember. I just feel like whoever they were like, you can pull forward would be third.
Starting point is 00:52:15 Mm-hmm. And then the last one would have to be the fastest one. but I wasn't in either of those. What were you for a second? Probably a second. Yeah. Yeah, they're like, we'll just put her in the middle of it.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Did you excel at any sport? That sounded really shady. That sounded so fucking rude. Were you good at anything? What were you good at? I excelled in volleyball. Oh, yes, yes, yes. You were a volleyballer.
Starting point is 00:52:43 I was a volleyballer. I was an outside hitter and a setter. and that I was really good at. I don't know what that means. Outside hitter and setter. So setter is the one who's at the front of the net and they set the ball for people to hit. Oh.
Starting point is 00:53:00 And I like that position because you have to find who's going to hit it. And I don't know. It just feels like you're like you're alioping the spike. A real teamwork. And then outside hitter is the one who spikes. And I also really love doing that. Oh. I'm really good at jumping high.
Starting point is 00:53:18 And yeah. And it just feels good to like slam it down and hope that somebody misses it. Would you ever get into an adult volleyball rec league? I would love to, but I don't, I'm not, my schedule's not open enough to do it regularly. To like really commit to it. Yeah. I would love to like drop in, but I don't know if there are drop in volleyball situations. I think you should get on it.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Get on the horn. Research. I bought a volleyball recently. You saw it. I did see it. I have a video of you hitting it inside your home. Yes, I found this like... A contraption.
Starting point is 00:53:54 A contraption where you attach it to the volleyball and then you... Put it around your waist. So you can do solo bump set spikes. And it was strange. It's not... I haven't figured out the exact mechanics of it yet. But yeah, I was like, I miss volleyball. And so I have a...
Starting point is 00:54:15 volleyball in my house and just like sit to myself. Have you been using it? I've held it a little bit and like walked around the house and like doing a little sets like in the air. But and I do want to take it outside eventually. I want you to take it outside. Yeah. Did you excel at a sport? Shot put. Yeah. I was good at shot put. Could have been a state champ if I just wanted to practice. And I said, no thanks I'll just show up yeah throw my little shot put get either
Starting point is 00:54:49 first second or third usually that's what I would get at the states I would like get like six maybe fourth then they were like can you try harder and I'm like no thank you
Starting point is 00:55:02 yeah just shot put and then when I was little I really loved gymnastics and I went faithfully to gymnastics I wore my green little Unitarred until some little girl was like, you're too fat to wear that.
Starting point is 00:55:17 And I said, I'll never come back here. I'll never come back to Shrewsbury Gymnastics. I wonder if it still exists. Can you look it up? Yeah. It was next to the Pizza Hut or near the Pizza Hut. Yeah. I'm at the Pizza Hut.
Starting point is 00:55:30 I'm at the Shrewsbury Gymnastics. I'm at the combination Shrewsbury Gymnastics Pizza Hut. That Pizza Hut had a delicious salad bar. and a blueberry pizza-ish dessert that I'll never fucking forget. It was so good. Is it just pie? Is it just, is a pizza dessert pie?
Starting point is 00:56:00 Maybe. Because it's just pizza shaped? Yeah, maybe. It's closed. Good. Fuck the Shrewsbury gymnastics. Oh, I guess I shouldn't say fuck the business. Fuck that little girl.
Starting point is 00:56:11 Yeah, they didn't do that to you. It was a little girl. I would like to take an adult gymnastics class. Maybe that girl bullied so many people that people stopped going there. And they had to shut it down. Oh, no. But I want to take adult gymnastics class too. I tried to do a handstand on Sunday.
Starting point is 00:56:29 Oh. It's hard. Yeah, it's hard. Shit is hard. I was trying to do it. It was in poll class. I brought a video to Veronica. And I said, I want to try that.
Starting point is 00:56:40 And she went, oh, okay. And her eyes got big. And I said, oh, no, when her eyes get big, that means it's tough. Yeah, because she's, like, throwing so much at you. Yes, but this was tough. This was, you were in, like, I guess, downward dog, if you will. And then you kick up into a handstand, and then you wrap one leg around the bar. And then the outside leg, you, like, wrap it around the bar.
Starting point is 00:57:01 And then your inside leg, you hook your knee onto it. And then you pull yourself up. It was crazy. Seems hard. I'll have to show you the video because it really rocked my world because I was like, I can do that. And then I tried it and I was like, I can't do that. Isn't that crazy where you watch a video and you're like, yeah, sure, I could do that. And then you try it and you're like, oh.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Yeah. Oh. It's really humbling. Mm-hmm. I was humbled real quick. She was like, do you want to try it again? I said, absolutely not. And she's like, well, we'll try it again next week.
Starting point is 00:57:31 And I was like, jokes on you. I won't be here. I'm leaving. I'm leaving town. I'm getting out of Dodge. I'm leaving. So I never had to do this. Should we answer questions and queries?
Starting point is 00:57:42 Let's do it. Let's do it. Dang, we were cheer chattering. Dang, we've been chitter-chattering. We were chitter-chattering. I didn't realize how much time it passed. I didn't either. Wow.
Starting point is 00:57:59 Wow. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. First, can I say, I love when you discuss sex in the city. My hot take is that Anthony doesn't get enough scream time in the series, and he's the only good thing about and just like that. His dynamic with Charlotte is just chef's kiss. Nicole, what was your big reaction to the big moment in episode one of and just like that? I can't believe Carrie's first move wasn't to call 911. Anyway, I love your thoughts on my predicament.
Starting point is 00:58:29 So it's a two-parter. I'm 32 female and my partner, male 34, have been together for eight years. We had great sex often for the first two years. But since then, it's been a steady decline down to three times a year. All we've done, or we've done all the standard things to troubleshoot. He doesn't have low tea, self-guided couples therapy, and talking about it. The issue seems to stem from past trauma from his ex who he says treated him like a booty call when he really loved her and wanted all serious relationship.
Starting point is 00:59:01 It ended when he walked in on her having sex with his best friend. So here I am a very sexual 32-year-old woman, wondering if I should stick it out with this lovely human. We connect on every level but sex, so I don't know if it's worth throwing that away so I can mess around with randoms, to put it bluntly. To add, I'd love to bring up the idea of an open relationship. I'd have no issue with him building up his own sex drive by having sex with different people. But I know bringing this up would probably trigger some bad vibes considering his trauma. What would you do in my situation? Love the pod.
Starting point is 00:59:35 You both brighten my day. Well, I feel like if you started the relationship hot and heavy and you were having sex, So I feel like that's hoped to be like you can do it. It's not like you've never been in a place where you're having regular sex. So I would, instead of being like this is the situation we should fuck other people, I think like let's try to get back to that place. And it's like you have to talk about it. Yeah. Which sounds like you are talking about it, I think.
Starting point is 01:00:12 But also talking about it so much puts a lot of pressure on the sex. Yes. So then if it comes up, then it's like, okay, well, now it has to, you know, we have to be good. And it doesn't feel as like spontaneous or natural or smooth as it used to probably. Yeah. Which it might, there might be a period where it's going to be that, unfortunately. And then hopefully eventually it feels like, hey, I just want to have sex as opposed to like we have to have sex because we haven't had sex in months in. And if we don't have sex and it feels like our relationship is failing and, you know, et cetera.
Starting point is 01:00:42 be a lot of like stuff in the head that makes it not easy for either of you to have sex. So, which also you can say that too. Like, hey, I don't want to put pressure on this, but like we, I would like for us to like have fun again and like like get back to connecting in this way because we connect on so many other levels that and I miss the way we connect sexually. Yeah. And he probably does too. But yeah, I think make, I think making it. Not such a big thing, like, maybe out in the open. Like, clearly we are on the same page.
Starting point is 01:01:18 We both want this. Yes. Hopefully, I hope he wants it. We both want to have more sex. And, you know, and I also understand the reasons we're not because you're dealing with trauma and, like, past stuff and things that have nothing to do with our relationship or me. And I'm being patient with that. And we are allowed to try and fail. I'd rather try and fail than like actually just fail and then our relationship falls apart.
Starting point is 01:01:47 I agree. I think saying that you'd rather try and fail, it's better than not trying at all. And maybe ask your partner what's something I can do that makes you feel loved since you don't want to be treated like a booty call. And it's like we're in this relationship so you're not a booty call. What is something I can help you with to make this a little easier? Yeah. Or maybe you plan like a romantic date night and you're like maybe I was thinking at the end of this we could, you know, try to have sex. But I do think it's like trying.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Trying is better than not trying. Yeah. Maybe they said self-guided couples therapy. Maybe you do couples therapy with an actual therapist and the therapist can give you like activities to do. Oh my God. I did something weird. Oh, no. Maybe the therapist can give you activities to do together.
Starting point is 01:02:42 And then since it's like kind of homework for both of you, you'll get it done. Yeah. And there are sex therapists too who can specialize in this and or a couple of therapists who also specializes in sex therapy to help give you tips and tools to try it. And you can also like it's not sexy to schedule sex, but also it's like if you're just leaving it up to. Leaving it up to God. to God and like the universe and each other, it might not happen. Yeah. And it doesn't have to be like, we're going to have sex on Thursday at 8 p.m.
Starting point is 01:03:17 It can be 8 to 11. Yeah. Have a window. Yeah. It can be 8 to 11. And it doesn't even have to be like, we have to have sex. We can be like, that's intimacy moment. Like an intimacy can be we cuddle together.
Starting point is 01:03:31 We look into each other's eyes. We read letters to each other. It can be just, but like, focus. Not like we're cuddling watching TV. It's like we are actually focused on each other. Unconnecting. From 8 to 11. And if sex happens, that's great.
Starting point is 01:03:47 If not, if we just cuddled and made out, that's also fun. And maybe next time it'll actually go further. Yes. Yeah. Slow and steady, the hair is too fast. Slow and steady wins the race, but then there's also a hair and a turtle. Yes. I guess the moral of the tortoise and the hair is that slow and steady wins the race.
Starting point is 01:04:16 Thank you. Thanks for helping. Yeah. Solved. Oh, wait. They asked me about. Oh, yes. Anthony and.
Starting point is 01:04:24 What did you think about big dying on the whole time? Oh. Honestly, I think it was great that big died because it set the series up to see. Carrie be single again in her 50s and then they didn't do that. I know, which was confusing to me. But, you know, I was grateful that we got more sex in the city. Yeah. Oh, they said something about her not calling 911.
Starting point is 01:04:51 Oh, yeah. Immediately. I thought that too, because she was like holding him in the shower and I was like, we could get the phone. Real, like. I will say when something traumatic like that happens, sometimes you're really, reaction skills are just different. That's true. That's true. So I don't fault her for not immediately calling 911. But she does call 911 eventually. You just don't know when. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's also like you're not thinking. Yeah. You're like, oh my God. Mm-hmm. Um, solved. Solved. Let's see
Starting point is 01:05:29 one more. Hello. I love the podcast. I saw us Sashir live years ago and where I was laughing so hard, I accidentally hit a dude in the face. Nice. I have a friend Jill that I've known for a long time. She can rub me the wrong way occasionally, but we have known each other forever and we live in a pretty small town and cross paths frequently. So I figured it would be best to just gently put some distance between us, but we still chat and we'll occasionally link up for drinks and talking usually with other people.
Starting point is 01:05:59 I've historically had a hard time confronting friends and I'm trying to work on that. Jill cheated on her husband in the past and shared it with me and other friends. So much that it became almost common knowledge against small town energy, her husband supposedly never found out. I suspect Jill is cheating on her husband again. At the very least, she's getting very, very near to cheating on her husband again. It is obvious to the point that other people, even those who don't know about her past, are calling her out to her face and telling her husband.
Starting point is 01:06:31 She tells her husband it's bullshit that they're just jealous, blah, blah, blah. In addition, there are kids involved who are being kind of emotionally, like, who are being kind of emotionally neglected and having a hard time. I've asked Jill about it point blank and she swears nothing's going on, but I swear she's lying. When I ask her why she's spending so much time away from home almost every night, she says that it's good for her mental health. I don't know why it's bothering me so much.
Starting point is 01:06:58 I would love to just walk away from the whole mess, but she's everywhere I go. How do I end this or call her out or otherwise react? Thank you for reading all of this. There is, of course, so much context I can include from years and years of friendship. Thank you again. Sincerely, am I a Karen? She opens her closet.
Starting point is 01:07:16 Jill's there. Kissing another person. Oof, that's tough. I mean, I guess to answer the question of like, why do I care? I can't remember how she phrased it. You're a good person. You're a good person. And it sucks to watch someone you love do something immoral.
Starting point is 01:07:34 And you also probably, because this person's your friend, you're probably friends with their husband too. And you're like, ah. When we hang out together, I'm lying by omission. Yeah. Jill telling friends that she cheated, I think is giving friends an unnecessary thing to deal with. Yeah, now they have to carry this. Yeah. I think that's really unfair.
Starting point is 01:07:55 Yeah. I do think you could put up a boundary and honestly like just hang out with Jill in group settings. You don't really need to question what Jill's doing at night every night, every night away from home and you have kids. Jill. Jill. Get back down the hill. She just climbs way too high on that hill. Yeah, I think you just kind of have to remove yourself from the situation. And if she tries to tell you anything, be like, hey, I don't necessarily feel comfortable listening to this. I am friends with your husband.
Starting point is 01:08:30 What you do on your time is what you do. But, like, I don't really want anything to do with that. Yeah. I also wonder if there's a way you can communicate, like, because I feel like I have had friends who have cheated and I knew about it. And I feel like what I would, what I wanted to do, if they were talking to me about it, is be like, are we trying to get out of the relationship? or are you trying to stop cheating?
Starting point is 01:08:58 Like, I can talk to you about this if there's an action behind it. If you're like, I'm trying to actually end my marriage or I am trying to stop fucking other people. But if it's like I'm cheating and I like it and I don't want to stop. I don't want to hear about that. I don't actually want to hear about it. Yeah. I don't want to be a part of this process because, yeah, it feels really gross to witness. And yeah, it's hard to watch your.
Starting point is 01:09:25 friend do that. Yeah. And there's kids involved. Yeah. I don't like kids, but they don't deserve that. No. They just deserve me complaining about them on planes. And the husband doesn't deserve that. No. Also, like, people are telling the husband, too. Yes. Also, it's like, it's actually way beyond your reach. Like, it's like, this is, this is gone, this is town-wide. This is global. It's global. We know about it. We know about Jill's infidelity. Yeah. So, yeah, there's nothing for you to do, but I guess to protect yourself and your peas. You can't tell her, I don't want to hear about this anymore. I agree.
Starting point is 01:10:03 And I probably would dismiss myself too because it's achy. It's nasty. Yeah. Which sucks. And also it's like, you know, she's going through something obviously. You don't necessarily have to be a part of her life when this is happening. Maybe there'll be a day where she figures it out and is like, I'm actually going to work on my marriage or I'm going to end it. and maybe she'll be more tethered to the earth
Starting point is 01:10:28 and you can like have your friend back or not or or this is it this is who she is an asshole yeah and this and she's showing her behavior she's showing herself through her behavior and if that's something you don't want to co-sign you don't have to be able to yeah get rid of Jill not like kill her
Starting point is 01:10:50 just like don't be friends with Jill she's doing too much damage She is. Jill's doing too much. Get rid of Jill. Get her out of here. Get her out of here. Solved. Well, if you have questions or queries, we have an email.
Starting point is 01:11:06 It is Nicole and Sashir at jamel.com. And we have a phone number that you can call, text, or leave a voice message at 323-23-8-6-554. Well, goodbye. Best Friends is a production of HeadGum Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producers, Anya Kanavskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Rochelle Chet. That was a hitgum podcast.

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