Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer is Excited to Learn About Drag with Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova

Episode Date: November 6, 2019

Nicole and Sasheer go in depth on their Emmy night, talking gowns, the food, and seeing Nicole’s face so big on the screen. Then, they interview Drag Queens Katya & Trixie Mattel on their friendship! We learn about their time on Drag Race, how they were deported from Australia together, the logic behind IT. With Trixie they choose their celeb alter ego’s (Howie Mandel, Issa Rae, and Lizzo), and with Katya they discuss how painful the writing process is. Brought back together, they laugh over their different styles, being called “derpy,” interrupting to apologize for interrupting, and the masochism of waist-training. Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail][phone]‬This episode is sponsored by Lightbox Jewelry (www.lightboxjewelry.com/bestfriends code: BESTFRIENDS), MeUndies (www.meundies.com/bestfriends), and High & Mighty. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Wow! Wow! Wow! Welcome to another... Who would do that? I don't know. But then there was a pause. Wow!

Maybe they were taking the time to really be wowed oh now that I understand what's happening I I'm satisfied this is best friends this is our podcast

it's called best friends yes thank you for telling me people have been fucking loving it eating it up we're a hit we're a fucking hit

everyone loves us dancing in their ears tickling their little earlobes yeah how have you been i've been good um we've been together together so i can't really catch you yeah there's no catching up we've been together for the last two days. Yeah. I flew back from Toronto. I had a good show in Toronto. So if you listen and you're in Toronto and came to my show,

truly thank you so much. I really appreciate it, you guys. Flew back. We went to an Emmy party. Yes. Where I didn't know what the F I was going to wear. So then I freaking got this.

What is this? You're like a 13-year-old boy. Yeah, I got this freaking nasty, this nasty pink suit. And I mean nasty in the best way possible. It's Rachel Antonoff. Like a nasty woman. Yes. Crushed pink velvet or velour.

I'm not sure what it was, but it was everything. I really enjoyed it. Oh, people were touching me all night. I was like, is this how I get a partner? Like, I just put on something for people to touch, and then someone will, you know, slip into my pussy? I think so. They're like, wow, this feels so good.

Oh, no. My hand's up inside of you? My hand's right up inside her. She's now my puppet. And you're like, I like dicks. My hand's right up inside her. She's now my puppet. And you're like, I like dick. I like dick. And that's who's hand is in here.

I like dick. Yep, Darth Vader put his hand right up in my pussy. Very forceful. Do you get it? He's the force. Oh, he is? What? Oh, I guess you don't get it.

You haven't seen it. Oh, man. I was thinking force. I don't know what I was confused. Why are you angry then? Because I was confused. Oh. And I don't like being confused. I know this. I hate being confused. I are you angry then? Because I was confused. Oh. And I don't like being confused.

I know this. I hate being confused. I know. It's really, it's tough. I mean, it's how I spend most of my days. We went to, then we went to the actual Emmys. I'd never been to the Emmys. Very overwhelming.

There's a lot going on. A lot going on. It was like 90 fucking degrees. So hot. And the red carpet or the purple carpet. The purple carpet, yeah. It was outside. and they made you walk all over it yes you had to walk really far to go to do interviews and walk backwards to get pictures it was a mess it was it was wild and i chose to wear heels like an idiot never again i'll never wear heels again no one would have anticipated that we're walking

that much yeah i truly thought it was like a step and repeat and then you sit and then we're like that means you're happening and then you leave yeah uh also i wore these fabulous shoes that dyed the bottoms of my feet i took a shower and they're still red oh no yeah i looked at the bottoms of my feet i was like i look sick um but my the show i was nominated with uh nailed it we lost to RuPaul's Drag Race Of course But it was very cool to see my face It was huge It was very big

And they picked my image which was really nice So that was fun Well there's a lot of people involved But you are the helm of the show I'm the host you know And then we went to the Governor's Ball afterwards Where they fed us and you were literally the Governor You were the Governor of the ship. I'm the host, you know. Yeah, and then we went to the governor's ball afterwards where they fed us and you were literally the governor. You were the

governor of the ball and there was like a spotlight on you occasionally. I don't know what the lighting system was. Every time someone referred to me as the governor, a spotlight would hit me. It was so strange. And then people kept bringing you food. There were people passing hors d'oeuvres but you made so many jokes with them

they were like, I like you. I'm coming back with more food. And they kept feeding you. It was really nice. And then as we were leaving, this lady was bringing me cookies. And I didn't want the cookies because I truly had eaten so much. And then she was like, this dress is stunning because I got to wear a Christian Serrano gown. And it was truly so beautiful.

And this lady, Jen, did this beautiful makeup on my face. And then Mariah did my hair it was just like a whole thing that really came together and i felt beautiful and uh she was like let me see the shoes and i was wearing my flame vans at that point so i just lifted up my dress and she went take her home she's like no no this is where we disagree. We hate you now. The governor must leave. She's not the governor. Impeach her. And then we made friends with the man when we were leaving.

Oh, when we were leaving and you're like, where's the exit? And he said it quietly to me. And you're like, you telling secrets? And I was like, I'll never tell. And I ran away. And you're like, get back here, you stupid bitch. And then some lady was like, oh, no. Wow, we were a hit.

Oh, we were. And then we were crossing the street, and that man we talked to on the way in was like, you still look bad. And I was like, you look bad, too. Don't let nobody disrespect you. It was like a really fun night. People just being like, hey, you're great. Oh, hey, this thing over here.

It's fun. It's fun. Award shows hey, this thing over here. Oh. It's fun. It's fun. Award shows are fun and also really overwhelming. Yeah. It was really long, too. Yeah, it was very, very long. And then there was no host. And they kept mentioning that, too.

Yeah. And I guess you don't need a host. But honestly, I think hosts help. Hosts help. It gives you something to come back to. Yeah, because you're like, oh, the host is back. Yeah, I know what's going on because this is what has been established. But yeah.

Would you ever host an award show? Yes. I guess you did host the music awards, the MTV Music Awards. You're one-fourth of the hosts, right? Yes, it was wild. We were like correspondents and I got yelled at so much. By who? Everybody. So they had me stationed.

This was at Madison Square Garden, I believe. Was it Madison Square Garden? Don't know. I think it was. But they had me stationed directly where artists were entering the stage. So they were rushing on stage and then I'm like, It's me, Nicole, here at MTV Music Awards. And then at one point Rihanna's or Rihanna,

her security team screamed at me. They were really mean. And then I got really sad. I was like, Oh God, this is bad. And it was like, there is a lot of pressure.

She was like coming through or something. Yes. And then Rihanna had him apologize to me. I watched her yell at him. And then he very sadly had to come Rihanna had him apologize to me. I watched her yell at him and then he very sadly had to come over and say he was sorry to me

and I loved it. Wow. So Rihanna, that's nice. Thank you very much my Barbadian sister. Yes. We're both from Barbados.

You are. I wonder if we are family. I mean, maybe. Excuse me. Rihanna. If you can hear me, let me know if we related. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Thanks, Rihanna. Talk to you later. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. This is her running to go figure out if you guys if you guys are related uh-huh it's a long she's on a horse she is running through town someone give me a dna test wow this is a long thing

oh she's getting into it i liked it so this week we are interviewing a set of best friends you know them you love them from rupaPaul's Drag Race and their Wow Presents show. It is Trixie Mattel and Katya. Yay. They'll be besting each other. Yes. I'm excited because I truly love Trixie. Like I've gotten to know her a little bit.

And then I don't really know Katya super well, but I think she's so funny. Yeah. So I'm very excited. Yeah. And I'm excited to learn a lot more about drag. Because I don't know nothing. You keep making fun of me for it. Hey, thanks.

It was just the way he said it. I was like, I don't know if she means this. No, I do. Okay. Let's get into it. This segment's called Besting Each Other, where we interview a set of best friends about their best friend. And I'm here with the sweatiest woman in show business, Katya. Hi.

Hi. How are you feeling today? I feel a little tired. Nicole and I went to the Emmys yesterday, and we really did it. We did the Emmys, and now she's at the doctors right now. That's why she's not here. And it's not Emmy related. I don't think. I actually have no idea why she's at the doctors right now that's why she's not here and it's not emmy related okay i don't think uh i actually have no idea why she's the doctor but she's there she'll be here

hopefully soon but for now it's us yeah how are you doing i feel great i feel buoyed by the power of the human spirit wow i like that buoyed by the power of the human spirit. That's nice. Not the Holy Spirit. Oh, right. The human spirit. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I haven't quite got my wave conjugations in yet. Yeah, so this is just like an easy little game that we do.

It's like a quiz. I love quizzes and tests. Oh, good. We do too. Yeah, we like doing like best friend quizzes because, I don't know, it just reveals more about yourself. So we're going to interview about your friend Trixie. And we'll just get started.

How did you meet? We met on RuPaul's Drag Race. Yes. Did you guys hit it off? No. No. No. I think initially

I thought she was part of the crew because she doesn't look off duty she doesn't have that like weird compromised masculine

like troll face that a lot of us drag queens have you know during the day compromised masculine well you know half my eyebrows

are missing I look like we look like we're in the struggle sure sure sure during the day. But she just looked like Bob regular. But we eventually, we actually became friends after the show. Oh, okay.

That's where we became friends, yeah. And was it at an event? No, just on the phone, talking. Once we wrapped the taping, that's when we really started to, like, develop a friendship. Like, we'd call each other and say, you know, just to sort of commiserate at how nervous we were or, like, what we're going to do, you know, before the show aired. Sure. So it was in that, like, gestation incubation period before everything, like, blew up that we kind of, like, bonded. Yeah, because it was a very unique experience.

It's, yes. No one else has that. You have to connect with somebody about that. Absolutely. It's, like, it is a very unique experience. And yeah, you have to confide in somebody. Otherwise, you'll go completely insane. I would imagine, yeah.

That's great that you guys were able to bond over that and continue to grow together. Yeah, growing and learning together as people. Yeah, yeah. As humans. Yes. Do you guys travel together at all? We do sometimes. We've gone on tours together.

But mostly we travel separately. Actually, we never see each other. Whoa. So that's very best friend. So your French is mostly on the phone? Mostly in the ether. Yeah. Just like theoretical.

Your French is mostly on the phone. Or mostly in the ether. Yeah. Just like theoretical. Well, when you've been on tour together, do you have like a favorite travel on the road memory? Well, I hope. I mean, I've told this story so many times, but most of our fans know that we were deported from Australia together. Wow. Yeah.

So that was like the, we've weathered probably the most, I mean, outside of like a broke down palace moment where we're actually imprisoned in Thailand, we've weathered together one of the most horrendous travel nightmares. What? Why were you deported? We flew to Australia with the wrong visa. And then we were, so we were stopped, interrogated, detained, and then flown back. All in one day?

All in two days. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. All in the space of All in two days, yeah. Wow. All in the space of about 24 hours. How do you even get a wrong visa? It was just a mix. It was like a, let's just say a mix-up. It's a mix-up.

It's a little visa mix-up. We had just come from a very glamorous experience of shooting the finale of our season, taking pictures with Miley Cyrus and RuPaul, and we you know, we're feeling like we're that bitch. And then we go right to the airport, 14-hour flight, and they're like, yeah, you are not that bitch. Both you bitches go. But we were interrogated

separately, which was really intense. Were they like asking you about the other person? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I cried. Oh, no. Oh, my God. That was serious with the interrogation the interrogation I didn't know I thought we were going to get arrested It's also Australia Like what do they think

You're going to do there They're fierce Their immigration policy is fierce They do not Yeah they're fierce Do they think you're like Bringing weapons or something No they think

You're going to make all this money And like Because if you go on a vacation Or as you go to work They tax You know They tax you They tax the shit out of you

If you're going to make some money so they're like are you actually working or not and were you working? yes let's just say that my lying to government officials is something I'm no longer willing to do no

it's awful I wouldn't recommend we've been through that together and that was, you can't really explain what that feels like. You had to be there, so. Mm-hmm. And so then you just came home, and that was it? Yeah, that's it. And then we went back to Australia maybe a year or two later.

Oh, okay. Well, at least you made it there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was it nice? Eventually. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. I haven't been.

Nicole went once and said it was very racist. Oh, yeah. It is very racist. Yeah. Yeah. I just think they don't have like. It's all white people. It's all white people.

Yeah. It's just rotten. White people are rotten. And you put them all in. There's a particularly virulent form of backwoods, nasty racism of all the people. Like the hillbillies there just the worst the worst

the worst I mean but white hillbilly you know the worst actually Trixie's a hillbilly oh really yeah

great not racist just a regular bop yeah um what's the next question oh what's your favorite thing

about Trixie um nothing Oh, what's your favorite thing about Trixie? Nothing. No, I'm trying. That's a good one. I think she, I don't know how to just, I don't know how to think of one word for this, but like she's kind of. You can say many words. Okay.

I like that she's like, what's a nice way of saying derpy like i don't know like she's um like she's like kind of like a like she's chill yeah but it's more than that she's like um just kind of like especially the contrast between her character and drag i mean this like over the top pink barbie kind of thing she's just like a dude. Yeah. And I love that. Yeah. I love that. And she's also really, really, especially with me, she's very understanding and forgiving because I'm a fucking asshole.

Oh. I've been difficult to deal with at times, so she's very- With her specifically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's straightforward and she's a reliable ride or die. Oh, I love that. Yeah, it's really special. That's nice.

Can you think of a specific ride or die moment? Yeah, because I went crazy at one point and it was tough because I was legitimately nuts on drugs and stuff. And for a person who has no experience with that stuff, it's tough because if someone's attacking you, but you know it's not that person really, that's really troubling. And she kind of just waited it out, which is like, it's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really cool. Yeah, that is hard because which is like, it's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. It's really cool. Yeah. That is hard.

Cause you're like, yeah, I've seen that where you're like, I can't tell if this is the person being awful to me or if it's just like, they are just not themselves right now. Right. And she, I think she described it as like, you're not going to take it personally if a homeless person calls you a fag or something like that. You know what I mean? Yeah. So they're going through something.

It's not you. You guys don't know each Yeah. They're going through something. It's not you. You guys don't know each other. They're homeless. They're angry about a lot of other things. They've got a lot of issues more than you walking down the street. Don't take it personally. That's awesome. I love that.

Yeah, he's really good. Good. He's got a great ass, too. Oh, wonderful. Big, chunky ass. Wonderful quality in a friend. Nicole's got a great ass, too. Oh, wonderful. Big, chunky ass. Wonderful quality in a friend. Nicole's got a great ass, too. Good twerking ass.

What do you think Trixie's favorite thing is about you? My legs. Oh. All right, now we're just getting to body parts. I don't know. If it's not my legs and if it's not my unpredictable fragrant qualities, I think maybe, I don't know. I don't really know. Maybe like, I don't know.

I'm not that funny. I mean, I am unintentionally funny. And that's a weird question because it's like you have to think about yourself. And you know what? I don't like doing that Yeah I don't And I

Somebody I wish I could remember Who was talking about it But a famous person Who I respect Was Talking about an interview And she said

That thing's like I don't think about myself I don't describe myself That's not my job Isn't that interesting? Yeah It's like it's not That's up to other people

It's very true Yeah Writers will write about me But I don't have to say Yeah. It's like, that's up to other people. It's very true. Yeah. Writers will write about me, but I don't have to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just do. Yeah. I like that. And it came off as quite unpretentious when she said it too. It was like, oh yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. That's why writing a Tinder bio

is so difficult sometimes. For sure. I guess I'm funny and cute. I just do the stats. Numbers. Numbers and cute. I just do the stats. Yeah. Like numbers. Yes, I'm this tall. Numbers and colors. Yeah, that's all it can be. Yeah. That's not how I am, though.

And I feel like in interviews, I'm like, I'm very funny. I'm very talented. You're lucky to be here. You want to see this movie. It's good. Yeah. Are you good at selling yourself? I think so.

Yeah. I mean, I kind of do it with a wink. Sure. Like, ha-ha, you should hire me. But also, I'm like, that's true. Yeah. I'm like, I'm telling the? I think so. I mean, I kind of do it with a wink. Like, ha ha, you should hire me. But also I'm like, that's true. I'm telling the truth. You should hire me. You should watch my thing.

You should purchase. Consume, consume, consume. Yeah, I think so. I do like doing that. Because I also like what I got. So I'm like, yeah, everyone else should be aware. You should get on this train. else should be aware get on this train it's fun

get on this train also like you know not everyone's going to do that for you absolutely some people

they'll do the opposite absolutely yes so I gotta like make the record straight yeah yeah yeah yay Nicole's entered

yay broke a machine at the doctor okay she broke a machine at the doctor Okay Oh no She broke a machine at the doctor Thriving Hi

Hi Oh boy, okay Oh Oh no I know, our hair's so high The headphones are barely I love it Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi

Hi Oh boy, how are you? You looked so beautiful last night Thank you so much Gorgeous So gorgeous Thank you Yay Okay, boy. How are you? You looked so beautiful last night. Thank you so much. So gorgeous. Thank you. Yay. Okay.

What question are we on? What were we talking about? Oh, I was asking what is Trixie's favorite thing about Katya. Ah. And we were having a difficult time figuring it out because it's hard to talk about yourself. Right. Oh, yeah, yeah. The leg.

I'd say my long legs. Long, shapely legs. Great. Okay. Okay. Oh, what's something that Trixie does? I know, I'm always bad with these. She's bad with these questions. It's really funny.

I'm like, when you do the thing that makes them mad and then they said this. Okay, so what does Trixie do that drives you crazy? Oh, interrupts me. That was so bad. I know what she goes. Okay, so what does Trixie do that drives you crazy? Oh, interrupts me. No! That was so quick. I know what you're going to say. I don't know. And it's like, and I literally, it's, you know, that's that bulldozer quality.

I've done this in a lot of people who are, generally tend to be very ambitious and very, very hardworking. Which Trixie embodies those two things very very well um but they'll just say they're just they're just talking and if you like there's a natural lull in the conversation where you can interject they'll just keep going and it doesn't and i'm like okay but like i just it's not like not that important to me just keep going you know whatever but it's funny when we it happens on the uh our web show it's like the fans call it out all the time. It's hysterical.

Yeah, but she'll like, she has interrupted me to apologize about interrupting me. Wait, real quick. Hold on. I just want to say, sorry? That is so funny to interrupt someone to apologize about interrupting. You're like, well, I can't say sorry.

You'll just interrupt me forgiving you. That's very funny. It's hysterical. Do you want me to ask the next question? Go for it, girl. Okay. Are they up there?

Which one? That one. Okay. What is something that you do that drives Trixie crazy? Oh, God. I mean,

smoking cigarettes probably, but there's probably a bunch, but I just have to say that because it's like, especially when we're working, we get ready and then I got to go smoke. It's really annoying. And also, I feel like people should, smokers should not get the leeway that they do get because it doesn't make any sense. What do you mean? Like, I have to go have a cigarette. Okay.

Like, what? But you have to. But i have to go have a cigarette okay like what but you have to but i have to i'm addicted yes so there should be 20 minutes of allotted like free time for me to go do that yes yeah like that's insane yeah you're right i'm doing the bathroom and drink like yeah yeah yeah like yeah no you know no you don't can i go shopping real quick yeah yeah i just have to buy a nightie online like what yeah what? Yeah, that's exactly. That would be it. Like, I have to go on Amazon and get some towels. Yeah, it's like, no, you're at work.

Exactly. And then you have to come in smelling, like, nasty and whatever, whatever. Yeah. I never thought of it that way. I'm always like, I must. I must have my ciggy. Yeah. Did I drive you crazy that I smoke?

No. Great. You smoke less, too. Great. I'll never quit. How many cigarettes do you smoke? A day? Probably four. I don't think. How many cigarettes do you smoke? A day? Probably four. I don't think you're not a smoker.

I've been smoking for... You smoke only four a day? Yeah. Really? I can't chain smoke. Wow. It makes me cough more, and then I get, like, yucky. I feel yucky.

Could you go a day without smoking? Yes. But then there was one day I lost my mind. Oh, okay. My driver's license had expired, and I was at 7-Eleven and they're real sticklers for having a license that's not expired. And she wouldn't sell me cigarettes. And I was like, ma'am, I am 30 something, 33, 33 years old.

And she was like, no can do. So I turned to the man behind me. I said, you buy me cigarettes. And she was like, oh my God. And then I got in my car and started screaming it was fun damn you used to smoke a lot and then put your hands in my face and that oh that's rude well you so you put your hands in my face anyway i do no no not now we had to talk about this we did yeah it was like years ago when we first were friends and i was like you put your hands in my face a lot what was i doing i don't know like like touching me or just like yeah like

just like taunting yeah waving at me or like pointing at me and your hands smell like smoke and i like not only do i not like your hands in my face they also smell bad yeah i forget often that like for non-smokers smoker breath smells like absolute fucking feces. Yeah. Like dog shit in the mouth. Yeah. Yeah. It's marfting.

Yeah. Anyway. I'm sorry about that. But you don't do it as much. I can't believe that. I can't believe I put my fingers in your face. Yeah. For no reason.

I had to be like, can you please stop? What an interesting conversation. Can you please stop putting your hands in my face? So much. Imagine if you just put your fingers in the mouth. In my nose. I just want to be one with you. Yeah, I guess I liked it. I'm still around.

But yeah, I just didn't want it in my face anymore. Sorry. Okay. Ooh. Which one of you would do better on Survivor? Ooh. Okay. Ooh. Which one of you would do better on Survivor? Ooh. Okay. I have never watched a whole episode of that.

Is it a show that values physical fitness more than mental cunning? I think it's both. It's both. Yeah. If I could smoke, I think I would do better. Oh. If I could smoke, I think I would do better. Because I can hold my, I can hold like my, I have a lot of like weird mastery over my bodily functions.

Weird mastery? I was just talking about this. Like I can, I can not pee for like all day. Really? Yeah. I didn't pee in high school. Never once. What?

Yeah. Yeah. Like from seven in the morning till what? Two in the afternoon. Was there a reason reason the bathroom's nasty and I was weird oh but even just pee is like

I get it if you don't want to take a shit at school but like yeah I didn't even pee yeah wow I pee everywhere you do you have such a tiny bladder

it's the smallest bladder do you drink a lot of water not even no I could not drink for 6 days and pee 17 times I do not know why. Maybe I'm liquid.

Yes, you're liquid. Oh, boy. Okay. Oh, but wait. Is that the only reason why you're good at Survivor? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm thinking. That is so funny. It's about not peeing, right? That's, no, no, no, no, no. I'm thinking, I'm like, yeah. That is so funny.

It's about not peeing, right? That's the truth about not peeing. Yeah, yeah. I don't think so. Because you have to, like, form alliances and stuff. And I think that I am more, I would be, oh, yes. I would be much more socially cunning than her. She is, like, an open book.

Like, she's not good at, like, yeah. I could be a lot more conniving and backstabbing, for sure. And then, do you have to do stuff? But I feel like you're so nice. I mean, I don't a lot more conniving and backstabbing for sure. And then do you have to do stuff? But I feel like you're so nice. I mean, I don't know you know you. But you would really backstab somebody? I mean, I could plot. Let's say not backstabbing, manipulating.

You know what I mean? Like I could play the long game with somebody. Where she would just be like, what are you talking about? It's just straightforward. I'm just trying to, you know, whatever. And do you have to do stuff like with your, like to build stuff?

Like make fires? Ugh, well, I'd be shit at that. Right? I think you do have to make fires. So like make a fire? But I think there's like a game.

Do you have to hike and stuff? Like it's a competition. You'd have to like. It's funny that we asked this question. I've never seen an episode. I don't know. I've also never seen it. Isn't it the longest running reality show? I think so. Yeah. It's been on for 97 have to like. It's funny that we asked this question. I've never seen an episode. I don't know. I've also never seen it. Isn't it the longest running reality show?

I think so. Yeah. It's been on for 97 years. Wow. Yeah. Came right on when television was invented 97 years ago by Henry Hudson. Henry T. Hudson. And the T is for television.

Imagine if television was somebody's name and that's why we call it television because that was their name. Bob Television. Right? That'd be funny. That would be funny. I'm fully happy

about this thought. Okay. What do you hope you're both doing in 20 years? Oh, well, okay. Not doing drag. Really? Yeah. Okay. In 20 years, Oh, well, okay. Not doing drag. Really? Yeah.

Okay. In 20 years, yeah. I hope that she is extremely rich and not doing drag. Okay. And I hope that I'm just alive. These are great goals. Yeah. When do you want to stop doing drag?

There's not like an eight. There's not a number. I think there's more of a quality. Like when it becomes sad. Yeah. Because I could imagine a future where I do it for a long time, but there's also very possible to imagine that same future where I'm miserable. Yeah.

And that is real. Like, the sad clown shtick is just really tired and depressing. And there's nothing worse than, like, say, a 60-year-old man who's, like, strapping on, like, a girdle and fake boobs and a wig to go, like, be sexy or something. You know what I mean? Yeah. And also not feeling that way and not enjoying it. That's really, I've seen a lot of those entertainers and it's Lynchian. You know, it's like it's not very, it's interesting but not in a real life kind of way.

Yeah. That makes sense. I don't want to be that way. Yeah. Do you know what you would want to do if you weren't doing drag for work for money? I mean, anything really. I'd love to. My dream later in life job would be a writer. Cool. Yeah. Nice. doing drag for work for money? I mean anything really I'd love to my dream

later in life job would be a writer cool do it now yeah we're writing a book actually together

oh awesome that's fun it is pretty fun actually have you started? yeah no wait I just said it was fun no it's not

it's so hard yeah writing's hard it is horrible it's bad it is horrible I just finished my first draft of a book, and it was so hard. Yeah.

I was just like, but also my book is stupid. Well, so ours is stupid. Ours is like Mondo stupid. But even then, though, especially having to write comedy and prose, it's really daunting. Because if you're not feeling, if you're not in a good mood, there's 400 excuses you could have not to write because, well, I just don't feel like I'm inspired.

That's the worst thing. I hate when people say, I'm not inspired. It's like, well, okay. You still have to do it. That's fine. You got to do it. Sit down and do it. Yeah.

I have the hardest time being disciplined about that. Yeah. Also, our editor is like an angel, and I need her to really scream at me, and she's not doing that. How many words? I don't know. It's photos and essays.

So I took a bunch of pictures in bikinis and captioned them with the worst case scenario. Oh, great. So some of them are like, a whale will try to take you in the ocean and make you his wife. When I say dumb, it is dumb. But that's, I mean, still though, did you develop a rhythm

where you were able to adhere to a schedule or was it just all whenever, whenever? It was whenever, whenever. A lot of it was on planes. Oh gosh, okay. That's the perfect idea,

but I can't be productive on planes. It's hard. I'm really good in transit. On a plane, on a train, on a boat, on a float. Yeah, so she was out on floats typing away on her waterproof laptop. Why aren't they waterproof? I guess so you can break it and then buy a new one? Maybe. I don't think they so you can break it and then buy a new one

maybe I don't think they want you to keep it forever I think that's like the developments and hair removal have not been as swift as they could have been

because it's not once you get rid of the hair then you're not a customer anymore totally they want you to come back totally Gillette fucking asshole

anyways they are they're rude is that the last question this last question oh wow we did it okay so we're gonna bring trixie in here you're gonna leave and then we'll bring you both back and then go over it thank you guys thank you so much yay i don't know how to do any intro yeah yeah yeah okay this is the second part of our segment we call besting each other i couldn't remember i'm really good at this I'm a great co-host So the gifts we have You're wonderful at everything Thank you

This is true Oh, how do you want to be introduced? Do you care? Oh, Legend, Icon, and Star Tricks and Mattel That's usually what we do Yes We're here with Legend, Icon, Skinny Legend Cosmetics mogul

Cosmetics mogul. Cosmetics mogul. All-star. Someone who takes the bike and it's not weird. Someone who takes the bike? I bike places. You do? I do. And it's not weird.

Can you believe it? People are always like, I always wear my helmet. And people go, did you bike here? I'm like, no, I'm just wearing a helmet. I'm just cautious. Honestly, I like that version better. That you're just walking around with a helmet on. Especially in LA, people are like, are you okay?

Do you need a ride? I'm like, I'm on a ride. That's the best part about a bike. Well, when I first moved here. It's Trixie Mattel. Oh, yes. That's good. That's good.

That's an intro. We never would have gotten there. When I first moved to LA, this lady said to me, if you see somebody on a bike or walking, they're poor or they have a DUI. And it stuck with me. I do not have a DUI and I'm not a poor, but I love biking. Do you? Yes, and what?

Fight me. If anybody wants to hit me with their car, come fight me and hit me with their car. I love it. It's extra exercise. It's free. Yeah, yeah. No, it's not.

You have to buy the bike. Yeah, I guess. But then you're done. Oh. You're done with payments. You have to make payments on the bike. Today I biked to the trainer and then biked home after.

Wow. That's triple exercise. Yeah. Triple X. And by the way, they're starring Vin Diesel. Oh my God. When I started shaving my head,

I thought it would look like Vin Diesel. Instead, I just look like Bobby Hill. Oh no. Wait, what did Monique call you? Peanut headed. Peanut headed.

And it made me laugh so hard. Monique Hart said, I'm peanut headed. It made me laugh so hard. It was like a perfectly round head. I mean, I hadn't heard that. Peanut-headed. And it made me laugh so hard. When he said, I'm peanut-headed. It made me laugh so hard. It was like a perfectly round head. I mean, peanut as in Charlie Brown? I hadn't heard that term since I worked at the Mac counter. Peanut-headed.

Shaped like a peanut. Okay, but Charlie Brown also has a round head. Give me all the keys. Can you Google a peanut-headed person? That's what you want her to type in? A peanut-headed person? Yeah, peanut-headed. Yeah.

Okay, a head that's oblong and bulbous at the top, especially when seen without hair. I've got a bit of peanut head, so I hope I never go bald. Okay, great. Can you do a picture? Oh, no. Bitch, that is cruel. Oh, these are, okay.

Yeah, that's not nice. You know what? That's a literal peanut. You know what, though? Kids are usually peanut-headed because their skull is like a. Yes. But I don't think like Pennywise, the clown is peanut headed. Oh, very peanut headed.

So, I mean. I got a problem with him. I'm macadamia peanut. Why are you in a drain? Because. That's your biggest problem? Have you seen the film? Yes.

I don't want to explain another movie to you. That you're not going to see. No, I saw the It movie. And I'm just like, okay, so the kid in the beginning gets in the drain with this clown. Who would ever? Who would ever? He's enticing. Yeah.

He lies to the kid. Yeah, he's like, I'm a safe clown. Come in this drain. But kids are dumb, bitch. Kids get abducted by normal people. Not me. Not yet. You absolutely would be abducted.

What? Oh, yeah, girl. Absolutely. No. Snatched up. No. You'd be like, that looks like fun. And you'd shimmy on down there.

No. I'm a whip smart kid. No. I would never. No, they'd be like, Nicole, we got a stripper pole, a dick, I am a whip smart kid. No, I would never. No, they'd be like, Nicole, we got a stripper pole, a dick, and a pussy in this drain.

And I'd go, that's for me. Yes. Okay, Trixie, we have to ask you a question. Yes. How did you and Katya meet? We met on season seven

of the Emmy award winning show, RuPaul's Drag Race. Yes. And we met in the workroom on the first day. And was it love at first sight or did your friendship evolve? Our friendship evolved. I would say on the show, I talked to her maybe once a day. We just didn't, we were both so shell-shocked and afraid of this competitive environment.

We'd never been on TV before. You know, drag queens from the middle of the club at a night, suddenly in the middle of the day and drag on TV, it's a shift. Yeah. And then after Drag Race, because we both did so poorly, I think we were just like, we bonded on the phone. Like once a week we'd call and talk for a long time. And I guess because she's so beautiful in drag, I initially also didn't think she was going to be funny. Normally drag queens who look like that are like sexy, sexy, dancy, dancy.

Which she does, but it's more like there's comedy attached to it. So we didn't fall in love until later. And then we started doing our YouTube series, which was like a light bulb for both of us. We didn't really realize that we had that kind of chemistry. Yeah. That's nice. Did you guys meet on Drag Race 2? We did.

We met the first day. Yeah, didn't like each other. No, so Shira did a death drop and broke a table she sent you home she did she sent me home she pulled the lipstick out Sashir has never seen an episode

she's like um yes uh huh sent her home I think you'd love it I think I would love it too I've seen clips

you do like the clips we show you yeah I love it and it's one of those shows you could drop in any time and I know more than you think I know I'll surprise you

alright you're like give me one fact just a what ask me a question who won season two I don't

okay that is a throwback damn I don't know like a ton of specifics but sometimes I'll be like is this this person and you're like wow I didn't expect you to know that person

ooh what season did Katya win eight she never won she didn't win that was a trick question that was a very mean that was very very mean oh i should have known you met her you think that person's the winner put the two together but we met on drag race great Great. I love it. Okay. What is your favorite memory from traveling together? Oh, I don't know if she'll want me to tell it. Well, one time we were in two dressing rooms that were kind of adjoined. And it was a group show.

It wasn't just us. This was years ago. And it had one of those where the hotel, it was dressing rooms that the walls don't go to the ceiling. So you can actually hear each other like a loft yeah and she had a guy in there

and we were we looked over the edge and we saw her in drag sucking a dick I love it oh boy what a treat

did you interrupt I wouldn't say that's my favorite memory but that's definitely a vivid memory it does make me laugh yeah have you ever been walked in on while you're sucking a dick no have you That's my favorite memory. But that's definitely a vivid memory. It does make me laugh. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you ever been walked in on while you're sucking a dick? No. Have you? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. In college. Ah.

You share space. You shouldn't be doing it anyway, but whatever. Have you ever been walked in on? A cleaning lady in a hotel one time walked in on me hooking up at a comedy festival that's funny yeah that's funny like the daylight just poured into the room because we were also like

yeah it was one of those motels that had like that your door was to the outside was I at this festival? no she was like don't mind me

and she just started backing up yeah yeah she's like keep it going we're like alright I once was walked in on at a bathroom

at a bar so like truly I should not have been doing it yeah you were in the wrong and I was standing up while sucking the dick Like, all right. I once was walked in on at a bathroom at a bar. So, like, truly, I should not have been doing it. Yeah, you were in the wrong. And I was standing up while sucking the dick. I was just bent at the waist with my legs spread. Standing up, sucking the dick? You are short. That's such a hard angle.

You are short. And the person who, oh, no. It was careful. Was he tall? He wasn't that tall, but taller than me. And the person who walked in on me was my roommate, Jen, and she went, Nicole, why are you standing? That's very funny.

She's like, I don't doubt that this would happen, but why are you standing? Why are you standing? That is odd. Yes. I make some interesting choices, which is why I would never be kidnapped. Okay. I don't think that's logic tracks. You don't?

You make interesting choices, that's why you would never be kidnapped? Yeah. You're also inferring that people who've been kidnapped are stupid. Damn. You said it. That's what he's explaining. You said it. I mean, those words never tumbled out of my mouth.

You said it. That's on you. They tumbled out of my mouth. You said it. That's on you. They're going to come for you. They're going to cancel you. All the kidnappers, the victim, they're going to cancel you. All the kidnappees. The kidnappees. Silky fucking bitch.

Nicole was telling me that she can't go to drag shows without people thinking that she is Silky Nutmeg Ganache. Dr. Reverend Silky Nutmeg Ganache. People think I'm her. If you go to a concert, you're Lizzo. I'm Lizzo at concerts. I'm Lizzo everywhere. It's fun. It's very fun. That'll be great for you to get into events, though.

Hi, I'm Lizzo. Thank you so much. Lean into it. Yeah, use it. Maybe I will. Use it. And then who will you be? I will be Issa Rae. Okay. I'm Lizzo. Thank you so much. Lean into it. Yeah, use it. Maybe I will. Use it. Yeah, girl. And then who will you be? I will be Issa Rae. Okay. I'm Howie Mandel. My! Maybe.

I don't know. Yeah, this is the trio. Or Bindi's old. Bindi's old. Why is Howie being out of Lizzo and Issa? You know those girls. They're always together. Always together.

Howie and his gaggle of black ladies. The new judges of The Voice or whatever. Yeah. Or American Idol or whatever. I love it. Okay. What is your favorite thing about Katya? Her brain is sort of, you know in improv class how it's someone's job to throw things out?

Yes. Like someone goes, ah, you're at the ice cream store. Yes. That is her brain. So her brain is just like, she pulls things out of her mind that you're like, what? What did you just say? You know what I mean? Like her fixations and her fantasies are so extreme.

She loves like 90s actresses and like, you know, but she's also kind of slutty and also like is a very kind of boring person, but also has a really checkered past with prostitution and drugs. So she's very high-low. So I never know what's going to come out of her mouth as long as I've known her. I love that. I get shocked every time, and every time I laugh. She makes me laugh.

That bitch is funny. That's nice. I like that. That bitch is funny, and she's funny in a completely different way Than I try to be funny So I never see it coming ever Ever Love it

And I hate her clothes Her outfits make me laugh Her hair makes me laugh She's just funny all over Top to bottom funny What is What do you think Funny. All over. Just top to bottom. Funny. What is, what do you think Katya's favorite thing is about you? Oh, God.

Well, she's seen me naked. But I don't think it's that. Wait, have you seen her naked? Oh, God. Yes, Mr. Burns. The cheer won't let me see her naked now that i want to kachi naked is that old woman from the beginning of the movie the witch that old white lady hunched over i haven't seen the witch kimmy on the keys do you mind yes just the witch because the witch naked lady old woman from the witch Naked Lady. Old Woman and the Witch. Yeah. If you guys at home have seen The Witch, put in naked. Oh.

Put in naked. Yo. Is that first one her? Naked Old Woman and the Witch. Where is it? Is that the second one her? No. Oh, that's Game of Thrones.

Okay. Anyway, she's like an old naked person. I think she probably, she hates music. So I know she doesn't like my singing. She hates music? She hates singing, live singing. She hates concerts and music. Yes. She doesn't like hates music. So I know she doesn't like my singing or music. She hates music? She hates singing, live singing. She hates concerts and music. Yes, she doesn't like live music at all.

So I know she doesn't like that. I don't think she likes my makeup or my hair or my clothes. I probably have my sense of humor, I guess. She laughs at me. She's got to be, I mean, but Katya is like an easy crack up. If something's funny, she laughs. Yeah. She's not like, she's not like, meh. Yeah.

So your sense of humor. Yeah, I think my sense of humor. Yeah. She doesn't like clothes, your music. Yeah, she doesn't like my music. She doesn't like me. We will never like go into a store and fight over an item. We'll also never fight over a man. We like completely different types of men. We like completely

different clothes and wigs. I like that. I can't imagine being friends with someone who is like my other. Like your copy. Yeah, that seems insane. But there's got to be people like that. Oh, there's tons of people out there like that who like share clothes and date the same kind of dudes. That's not for me. Like the Jersey Shore people. They all like the same kind of people and wear the same kind of clothes.

They wear jerseys at the shore. Yes, at the shore. I do like my Snooki. Okay. What is something that you do that drives Katya crazy? Interrupting. I interrupt a lot. I don't think she cares that much, but I do interrupt.

And she's usually the like interruptee. Yeah. I'm always talking over her. Because frankly, what I have to say is usually a little more pertinent. You know, like on our show, the YouTube show, we're given an idea, a prompt, and we're supposed to like talk about that. You know, I'm the one one I'm the realer back inner like okay but how does the dead body have to do with shopping

online I'm trying to keep it together so I interrupt a lot but you know it's for the sake of the conversation yeah I'm trying to help that makes sense what does the dead body have to do with online shopping that's also such an interrupter thing to say I'm interrupting because what I have makes sense. Yeah. What does the dead body have to do?

That's also such an interrupter thing to say. I'm interrupting because what I have to say is important. That's the mentality of interrupting. Yeah. It's not, you know. Yeah, otherwise you would wait. But you ever wait your turn to talk and then your turn never comes and then you get really upset about it? Yeah, or I forget what I was doing. You're like, I should have just started screaming.

Yeah. I should have just screamed into this conversation. Hello! I have opinions! I have opinions. I have opinions. I said. Or just go, are you done? Stop.

Stop talking right now. Are you finished? What did you say yesterday? No, don't tell a story. Okay. Don't tell a story. Don't tell a story. Okay, I won't. This story. Oh, I thought you said don't tell a story. No, don't tell this story. Okay. Don't tell a story. Don't tell a story. Okay, I won't.

This story? Oh, I thought she said don't tell a story. No, don't tell this story. Not one of your stories, Nicole. Not now. Gather round. Okay, once upon a time, there was a suitcase. Okay, what is something that...

Oh, man. What is something that... What is man. What is something that... What is something Katya does that drives you crazy? Is that the question? Yes. All right. Smoking annoys me because it turns into smoke breaks, which interrupt whatever we're doing.

Yeah. So if we're, like, having a... So she's physically interrupting what's happening. Yeah, she's like, can I smoke? And I'm just, like, in drag, like, take your time. You know? But she doesn't smoke around me. I will say this.

For a smoker, she's the most considerate about the smell, et cetera. She would never dream of smoking inside. She wears a lot of perfume and eats mints. She doesn't want people. Because I think she's actually a little, she loves smoking, but hates that she smokes. She also hates smokers and the idea of it. But she keeps doing it. I think a lot of smokers have a little shame

Because everyone's like, pee you You're stinky It's a bad habit You're gonna die So then you're like, okay, I'll just hide it But I enjoy it Yeah I love cigarettes

Because most smokers aren't in touch with how pungent the smell is So they're like, I know I smell like a burned turd But let me just have an Altoid. That's fine. When I used to work at MAC, when I did makeup, I'm sorry, your hands and your breath are the smoke smell. So then you're touching someone's face and breathing on them. They're like, I said smoky, I went, damn.

I would say the smoke breaks, especially. I'm like, because she'll go out there and have three back-to-backs. She'll go smoke until someone comes to get her. I bet you she's still out there now. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I can't do that. I'm a one-and-done type of gal.

What's funny is on season seven, she had quit smoking. And then the first day, she started again. She went from quit smoking to like a pack a day again, like bam, bam. Uh-huh. Yeah. It sucks you right back in. It's wild. Big tobacco has a hold on a lot of people.

Uh-huh. It's not funny. No, it sucks. And vaping is still bad for you. Vaping is killing teens. Teens are dying. Oh, my God. So now e-cigarettes are banned, I think.

But not assault rifles. Well, they're putting like bans in order. I don't think itarettes are banned, I think. Completely? But not assault rifles. Well, they're putting like bans in order. I don't think it's like banned yet. Yeah. Damn. But they're trying to regulate it because these kids, they coming in with like lungs like 70-year-old men's. That sucks.

And the doctors are saying, Dios mio, how did this happen? And everyone's like, Jewel, which of you would do better on the survivor? Her. Because she's like, she's already weathered so much. She is a survivor. Yes. I mean, like, I, yeah. She's that person who like, I mean, I think she only eats a couple candy bars a day.

A couple candy bars a day. A couple of candy bars a day. We were shooting the other day at my house. We were having a photo shoot and she actually had four candy bars to eat that day. Really? That was her food. Yeah. So she can survive on very little. She's 37.

And she looks pretty young. Yeah. Into the splits. You know, like, I mean, at this point it didn't, I grew up oaky, smoky, choky, jokey, poor. What? But it took me five seconds. I have never heard that phrasing. I made it up.

Oaky, dokey, choky, smoky, poor. Very poor. And you said it like it was a normal thing. But it took me five seconds of having, I've only lived alone for a month, and this is my first time having air conditioning. Now, if there's no central air somewhere, I'm like, oh, my God. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. So I think she would survive a little better than me.

She'd keep herself company. She'd grow a tobacco farm for herself. Roll cigarettes. She'd be fine. Yeah. Plus, she's survived the throes of crystal meth, which I think is harder than Survivor. Yeah, I would imagine so. Yeah. Yeah. Plus, she's survived the throes of crystal meth, which I think is harder than Survivor. Yeah, I would imagine so. Yeah. Crystal

meth is not fun. Yeah. But who the fuck is going to an island to just live for TV? Money. They want money. A lot of people. It's been on for 97 years. Yeah. It came on the same year television was invented. If Drag Race was one of those shows where you had to go live in a house with people or something like that, I would never.

I could never. Yeah. I don't think I could do that. Michelle Visage did Big Brother, and I was like, I can't believe you did that. She was like, it was crazy. Yeah. Yeah. It was too much.

Too much time. If you did Big Brother, you'd just sit there. Survivor? I always said Kachi and I would do really well on Amazing Race. Wait, Amazing Race is like a scavenger hunt yeah right you're like traveling together like clues and shit yeah do you just solve clues you have to like go to this country and then make pasta and they'll give you the next clue and then you bike across town to you know fuck uh wrestle a pig like that kind of shit all right but i think

i will make some pasta i will wrestle a pig i'll do it okay imagine us in drag in nepal like sprinting through the streets or something that's fun again i think that'd be very very fun yeah do it do the amazing race yeah what's the prize well the name is a little probably money the name is a little amazing race if you don't know what that's about you're like what is this about it's the amazing race yeah like, what is this about? It's The Amazing Race. Do you want to hear about it? It's just old white men. We're The Amazing Race.

Oh, no. That, oh, yeah. If you really think about it, it's a bad name for the show. I always thought that. The Amazing Race. Yeah. But it is a literal race. Oh, yeah, there's a real race.

And it is like gift to get there first. I've real race And it is like You have to get there first I've never really watched it Tyler Oakley did it And said it was lovely Oh Oh great That is nice Yeah

But you know, he does YouTube He just had to get out of his house For something He's having to be Doing something else Very happy You can't just sit in front of a camera And go to Coachella once a year

But you can You can make some good money doing that But you can Have you ever been to Coachella? a year. But you can. You can make some good money doing that. But you can. Have you ever been to Coachella? Girl, no. No. I couldn't. Too much outside.

I could. Oh. But I haven't. I could play there, but I'd never go. Like if I ever got an opportunity to go play a little ditty, I would. But it's like Burning Man. People are like, it's great. You have to bring your own water.

I'm like, what is wrong I'm like What is wrong with you What is wrong with you Someone should bring my water I'll go to Pavilions And listen to whatever's playing there Yeah Pavilions is a strange name For a supermarket

Yeah Yeah It seems to be great Wait were you talking about a supermarket Yeah Yeah pavilions And there's people playing there No there's like music on the radio

Yeah That's my Just listen to music That's playing in the supermarket I'll tell you something By a supermarket? Yeah. Yeah, pavilions. And there's people playing there? No, there's like music on the radio. Yeah. That's my coach. Just listen to music that's playing in the supermarket. Well, I'll tell you something. At Gelson's in Silver Lake, there is live music. I want you to play it. Play the Gelson's in Silver Lake, please. Would you go?

Yes. I'll hold you to that. Yes, I will go and I will make a sign. I will wear a Trixie shirt. No. I'm a Trixie staff. No, you should do the opposite. You should church lady protest me.

Oh, yes. Yes. I will do that. Keep the sin out of Gelson. Yes, I will. It's not Gelson's. Okay. Yes, yes, yes.

And I want you to have one of those suits with like the pretty hat. Okay. I'll do it. Lady Bunny, when she used to play play instead of buying barkers she used to pay people to protest her because it gets a better like buzz that's really smart so she would pay this drag queen to like get in like you know passable daytime drag as a woman that's so funny that's great lady bunny makes me laugh so hard that bitch is so funny her jokes i mean that's dad jokes she has this one that i love that's a little awful but That's great. Lady Bunny makes me laugh so hard. That bitch is so funny. Goo. Her jokes.

I mean, that's dad jokes. She has this one that I love that's a little awful, but she's always like, I couldn't remember who Rihanna was dating, and then it hit me. Yes. Uh-huh. Oh, my God. What's one that I like? I was fucking this goo once, and she said, think of the children. Oh, shit.

I fucked that joke up. I can't remember. It's something about fucking a girl, and she's the child. And then she goes, you kinky bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit. I fucked that joke up. I can't remember. It's something about fucking a girl and she's the child. And then she goes, you kinky bitch. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, that's it. I love her.

She's awful. And I love that she lip syncs to her jokes. And then sometimes she's not moving her mouth. Did you know Michael Jackson has a 10-inch dick? No, did you know Michael Jackson has a 10-inch dick? It's uncircumcised and it's in Justin Bieber you know Michael Jackson has a 10 inch dick it's uncircumcised and it's in Justin Bieber

she's so gross she's so funny I love her dearly I've never met her but I love her so much she's the best

alright we're at the last question now ow what do you hope that you're both doing in 20 years that's two decades good job um thanks in 20 years. That's two decades. Good job. Thanks.

I hope none of my veneers pop off. And I hope she's alive. That's a nice hope. That's 57. She'll be 57. Wow. That's crazy to think about. I hope she's not in drag

Wait how old are you? 30 You're 30? Yeah I thought we were the same age How old are you? 33 You're not that far off

No yeah This is my Jesus year I just turned 30 Yeah But she's old And people forget that about her And you're here to make them remember She was just telling me about like She's getting in drag now and like the makeup.

It's funny because in drag, when you're young, you're not good at makeup. And then as you get older, you get better at makeup. But what you're working with depreciates. You're driving a lemon. That's really funny. So we're talking about like you get older and the cruel joke is you finally learn how to do your makeup. But you're like, oh, well, I was 20 and snatched and naturally thin, but now I didn't know what I was doing.

I think my makeup will age very well. You'll never know that I'm old under there. Honestly, you are correct. The same. I think, yeah. But then again, RuPaul is proof that you can really cheat the system. RuPaul's black. Well, yes.

And she's kind of that perfect like caramel too, where the highlights and the contours both work on that skin tone. Whereas like when you're really deep, contour only does so much. And when you're really fair, highlight and blush. She's like right in that middle where she can really cheat. Plus she got no hair, big teeth. And a team of Emmy award-winning hair and makeup artists. Yes, yes.

And that's always very helpful to look good. Yeah. Should I get new teeth? No. No. And she's sort of open. Just make a different face. Yeah, have a different smile.

You don't grit your teeth like that. Oh, my God. What is that? Suspicious chipmunk like fantasy? Suspicious chipmunk fantasy. I am giving you suspicious chipmunk realness. Realness. Yeah, I hope she's alive, and I hope I've maintained some of my beauty.

Wealth. Wealth. I mean, in Hollywood, you don't have to be pretty. You just have to be rich. And you can buy your beauty. Wealth. Wealth. I mean, in Hollywood, you don't have to be pretty. You just have to be rich. And you can buy your beauty. Yeah. You can buy a booty.

I think I'm going to buy a booty. You don't need one. You don't need a booty. LOL. Thank you. That's all I wanted to hear. All right. We're going to bring...

It was so abrupt. No, it wasn't. Was it? That was a natural ending. It was? We were talking about your butt. It was so abrupt. No, it wasn't. Was it? That was a natural ending. It was? We were talking about your butt. Now we're done. We're done with your butt.

Do you have more to say? I guess not. Go for it. No, I think I'm okay. You really put me on the spot here. No, I'm okay. She really is the best, Katya, but we don't really talk about it because she's very anti-sentimental. Oh.

Like one time I was like we are so lucky to have each other and she literally went oh so she can't handle that that's funny i'm gonna be interested to see what she said about me yeah let's bring her in let's go get katya So we asked you two how you two met. And Trixie said we met on season seven of RuPaul's Drag Race in the workroom on the first day our friendship evolved. It was such an intense environment. But after Drag Race, you guys would talk on the phone because she was so beautiful. Katya, you were so beautiful. And she didn't think you would be funny but you ended up being funny and then katya said we met on

rupaul's drag race so you both know where you met uh we did not hit it off but we became friends that is such a hard we did not hit it off did i really say that it's like saying i didn't like each other no you mean there was no initial chemistry? No, but I don't think I had any initial chemistry with hardly anybody. Well, that's not true. I don't know. It's a hard environment to actually be friends. Yes, because you're competing.

Except all the girls at Drag Race will literally say, after three days of knowing each other, I love you so much. Four hours in, they're like, she's my sister. Yeah, she's my sister. I love her. We are blood relatives. She's trash, and I want you to be scared.

In case of emergency. Totally. Drag queens and drag queens love to be like, I love her, she's my sister, I think she's incredible. However, she's garbage, and everything about her sucks. Yeah, I get that. There's definitely like a Guantanamo kind of vibe there because you are really in this pressure cooker situation.

You become fast friends. No phones. And that's a big factor. Oh, there's no phones. So you got to get to know each other. There's no choice. But at the same time, I remember thinking to myself, I don't even know these people.

Why are they saying they love me? Why are they saying we love each other? We don't know each other. We don don't even know these people like why why are they saying they love like why are we saying we love each other we don't know each other i don't know anything about these people chichi devane on all stars chichi devane was there it was episode three so we've been there five days and she was like i miss my cat she'd been there five days she was like i just miss my cat i know it is funny to me when people are like sobbing over like when they used to do like the video phone call like Raven was like

crying about like talking to her mom I was like you've been gone for a day literally a day two days yeah oh my god

the best about the crying on drag race do you remember when Jaden Dior Fierce okay in her confessional she had these big glasses on but they had no lenses so she'd be crying

and then she'd wipe her tear through her through her lenses and it was like that's funny that she'd be crying and then she'd wipe her tear through her lenses. And it was like, that's funny. That she'd have disbelieved just dropped. She's like,

oh. Oh boy, that really makes me tear. It's so fierce. Okay, we asked, what is your favorite memory from traveling together?

Trixie said, one time. I didn't know you were going to read this to her. Oh yes, oh yes. I guess we should have explained that more. No, to read this to her. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I guess we should have explained that more. No, we explained this multiple times. Well, it's okay. You guys weren't listening.

We definitely explained it. Kimmy explained it. I explained it. So, Trixie said, one time we were at a group show in adjoining dressing rooms with no, like, the ceilings didn't go all the way up. Looked over and you were sucking a dick. And then Katya said, we sometimes travel.

We go on tours together. We never see each other. It's true. Favorite memory of being deported from Australia together. We both have the wrong visas. You guys were interrogated separately and Katya cried. We both cried. Yeah,ya cried we both cried yeah yeah we both cried

separately we were both lying and at this time too Katya was like I don't know if I can lie she was like I haven't lied since I've been sober

I've been lying for years you don't have to lie about anything you're just an open book you don't do anything wrong there's no reason to lie but me the swindler McGee

I'm like we're gonna go in there and this is our story and we're gonna lie because the for some reason i mean we've told the story a million times but for some reason the club decided that we should just do visitor visas instead of work visas to save a couple bucks and they've been doing that apparently for years yeah it's usually not a problem mama when i tell you we were like we're here on vacation and they went really because uh this is your name and you're from, aren't you this performer and this is your tour? And isn't that all

your fucking merchandise in those three suitcases? So then they're opening up our suitcases and they're going, so you're just here for vacation? I was like,

yeah, I have 50 shirts with my own face on them in all different sizes because my weight fluctuates. And we got, mom turned straight around and flew.

So we flew the 12 hours to 15 hours and then the next day flew straight back oh my god the cool thing though is that we were like

we were you know together because we had to go at a detainment center which was basically like a low end motel well the detainment center

was full or the so we were at the detainment center and then we stayed overnight a little bit at like a hotel that was for the runoff of the detainees.

Yeah. And it was very intense. We had guards watching us sleep. In the room with us, watching us sleep. Wow. I remember laying in bed and looking at you and thinking, like, if you hadn't been there. Oh, I don't know. Yeah.

It would have been horrible. Then we thought, is it going to be like Claire Danes broke down palaces? Is one of us going to have to stay in the country forever? Am I going to have to become Australian? Yeah. Yeah. It would have been horrible. Then we thought, is it going to be like Claire Danes broke down palaces? One of us is going to have to stay in the country forever. I'm going to have to become Australian. Yeah. Wow. Nobody's trying to get in Australia like that. That's too serious.

Moral of the story is, I don't go anywhere now without proper documentation. Yeah, I guess so. Something I'm on my face to. Anytime I'm trying to get fears with like, they're not going to clock this merchandise. I'm always the one where they're like open that bag and I know drag queens who travel with cocaine and nothing ever happens to them

yeah well you have to just carry a small amount Nicole's that drag queen just a few bricks is that what this up this hair is that this up to

yes no imagine I shook my head and like just cocaine started falling down is that dandruff no no well Nicole I can't remember if we talked about this on the podcast Imagine I shook my head and just cocaine started falling down. Is that dandruff? No.

No. Well, Nicole got pulled. I can't remember if we talked about this on the podcast, but you got pulled aside. We were going to Canada for a comedy festival. And they were like. Oh, they're fierce. She had. Well, she expedited her passport the day before because.

Like a true criminal. Her suitcase broke. So she's like holding her belongings in like a messed up bag. My roommate gave me a bag that was dry rotted so it fell apart as we were trying to go through customs uh i had to get the passport expedited because it was stolen because my bag was too heavy one night when i was drunk and i left it on my staircase lizzo was like thank you yeah it was like you called now uh so then they were like why are you here in canada and i was like i don't know you know oh yeah she wasn't answering any of the questions correctly they're like why are you here today on and they're like i guess improv he's like are you do are you working

is this for money she's like no one gets paid for improv he's like okay see you though and then he was like what hotel are you staying in i was was like I don't know and he's like ma'am come over they will get when I'm on a long tour they're always like what hotel I'm like

I'm at 50 hotels I don't know that's like when TSA's like where are you flying to I'm like what does it say but you know what though it's usually

what's it say it's usually like an old straight guy though at the immigration and I just give it to him straight now I go I'm a cross dresser

I have a suitcase of panties and a wig and they just are like thank you because they don't want to talk about it yeah I say

I dress up like a woman and I act a fool you guys are like same yes I mean yes and I act a fool

totally wait have you really said that to like yes I have that's so what a treat I have well you always feel it out though because sometimes you know said that to like Yes, I have. That's so what a treat. I have. Well, you always

feel it out though because sometimes you know if they're like down to play a little bit but other times they're like you don't when I'm coming

back to America that's when I usually give it to them. That's when you get fierce. Yeah. What did you do abroad? I was at immigration with Tammy Brown

and they said what are you doing here in the country? And she goes we're drag queens we work in gay clubs. Woo! Oh, and she also said

top shelf cross dresses. Yes. They said and queens. We work in gay clubs. Woo. Oh, and she also said, top shelf cross-dressing. Yes. They said, you work in gay clubs? Do you have drugs or pornography? What? It's a homophobic area. And she goes, we're transvestites. And she leans in and goes, top shelf transvestites.

Woo. And the guy just stamped her. Tammy Brown is the funniest. I have to show you some Tammy Brown videos. She is so funny. She said this iconic thing at the reunion of her season to RuPaul. She was like, I don't see you walking children in nature. Doesn't make sense.

But it is iconic. Great. I love Tammy Brown. Top shelf. Do you notice how the travel stories are never something good? No. It's always like detained. I saw a cross dresser sucking a dick.

By the way, I didn't walk in and see it. We were drunk scaling a wall to the wall. We were peeping Toms. Peeping Tinas. Peeping Tinas. You want to do this one, my friend? Yes. We asked, what's your favorite thing about your friend?

And Trixie said, her brain. She pulls things out of her mind that are incredible. Her fixations and fascinations are extreme. She's slutty. But she's also kind of boring. Slutty? I got that. So I never know what she's going to say.

She makes me laugh. That bitch is funny. And I hate her clothes. Slutty and also boring. Slutty and boring. I love that. I think I gave an earnest answer. Katya said, what's the nicest way to say derpy?

Derpy? Derpy? Derpy? say derpy derpy derpy derpy you fucking changed derpy derpy derpy

derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy

derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy

derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy

derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy

derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy

derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy

derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy

derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy derpy drag character who is pink and Barbie she's like a dude she's straightforward and reliable ride or die I had a season

of being legitimately crazy due to drugs etc and she just waited it out and she has a great ass oh thank you

yeah I'll take that that was earnest for you yeah for you derpy derpy's such a funny word I honestly

I see it yeah but in a good way. I honestly, though, I see it. Yeah, but in a good way, though. I don't mean like, I don't mean like, you know. Yeah.

I look like God's first draft of like Jim from The Office. Okay. Where it's like kind of a derpy, dopey,

like, but then he was like, oh, I forgot hair. Also that face, maybe not. So then like, try it again.

I feel like you could sell wood or oatmeal or, you know or or like i do have a very like convenience store look yeah i work like you know the midway yeah the corn fed midwest thing yeah we asked what is your friend's favorite thing about you Trixie said well she's seen me naked but I don't think that's uh that's that maybe my sense of humor we like very different things yeah my sense of humor and Katya said if not my legs or unpredictable frequent fragrant

fragrant is that what I'm saying that right yeah what was the word I had trouble with this morning What was the word I had trouble with this morning? Oh man, so many. Wow. Okay. Fragrant qualities. I don't like thinking about myself, but my long shapely legs. That was a joke.

No, I think you have nice legs. Oh, I do. Yeah. You are very beautiful in drag. Thank you very much. Okay. This isn't a read. If you're in a dark club, a dark club.

Dark, very dark. She looks like a real woman. Germany. Yeah, that's not a raid. And she dresses in a way that's very slimming. She has a tiny body, and then fishnets, long, long legs. And it's a lot of leg kicking, a lot of extensions. It's a leg thing. Well, there was a guy that I hooked up with in drag pretty consistently back in the day.

And I realized after he told me this just how dark my apartment was because he was like he told me in total seriousness I would never be able to tell that you weren't a woman if I saw you on the street and I'm like do you have glaucoma?

oh could you start but then I looked around and I was like there's one 20 watt lamp on and then the other room and I was like there's one like 20 watt lamp on in the other room and I was like okay alright I love that he walks in

and you're like over here and he has like a feel oh it was always dark in that yeah always but you know what

let him feel it absolutely I'm gonna take the compliment I've never been with a guy in drag but she obviously has obviously and we were talking about how like I had this short little wig on I was like oh this a guy in drag but she obviously has obviously and we were talking

about how like I had this short little wig on I was like oh this would be the wig and she was like the men will ask you to change the wig

to a longer wig absolutely really oh to get the full fantasy because it's mostly about the wig she told me once that this guy wanted it

and she was like I don't have time to get in drag and he said can you just put on the wig whoa yes and then I was like, I don't have time to get in drag. And he said, can you just put on the wig? Whoa! Yes!

And then I was like, this whole fucking time I've been spending an hour and a half getting in drag. Yeah, I could have just been the wig. Putting on the wig. At 11 a.m., just the wig. Do they, like, pull on the wig? No. But, I mean, think about it. Like, I go from, like, you know, I don't know, from. Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns into, you know, Lisa Simpson or whatever. It's a very, like for me, for me, it's like the, the, it's the wig that makes it all. You know what I mean? And it's his personal psychological shift. Yes. Like this is my hair now. Yeah. A lot of times for people, it's like the shoes or whatever, or it's the wig that makes you feel like a woman.

It's the lashes for me. That's it? Well, your lashes are a wig. Yes. They're two wigs. It's the lashes. Have you seen her lashes? She did my makeup, and she put lashes on my forehead.

Yeah, seriously. And my eyebrows were on my scalp. Yeah. Yeah. It's too much. Oh, yeah. We asked, what is something that drives your friend? What is something...

Oh, boy. All right. We asked, what is something you do that drives your friend crazy? And Trixie said, interrupting. I don't think she cares much, but I always do it because what I have to say is more pertinent. Relevant, interesting, and funny. I'm the realer back inner. And then Katya said smoking cigarettes.

It's probably a bunch of things, but it's probably that. It's annoying. Yeah. And then, yeah. You just kind of agreed. The smoke, the smoking, whatever, the smoke breaks. The smoke breaks. I said, if you don't go get her. Oh,, the smoking, whatever, the smoke breaks. The smoke breaks.

I said, if you don't go get her. Oh, I'll stay out there for the whole time. She'll stay out there and smoke. And it occurred to me just the other day when we were, I was like, I think, what is that cliche that's like life happens in, I forget what the. In between like major events. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My life happens in between smoking. Like I feel like sometimes, I feel like my whole MO

is just smoking cigarettes and anything that happens is incidental or like yeah it's it's sort of like well okay we'll do drag

but only so I can get the cigarettes yeah and I'll go do my number if we can do however if we're working together like when we work at my house and she can just step on my patio

it's no big deal like at World of Wonder it's like you have to go you have to go all the way. Yes. Drama. And then it's so ludicrous because I will be –

I remember so many times where I'll be on stage and doing a very high energy number that's extremely physically strenuous. And I'll come off stage pouring sweat, huffing and puffing like I'm going to die, going straight to outside to smoke a cigarette. I'm like, what is wrong with you? Because they're yummy. You also have a unique relationship with smoking in that you also hate it. It's gross.

Smoking cigarettes? I mean, it's disgusting. It makes no sense. It's absurd. It's harmful. It's weird. Do you smoke in your house? I do.

You do? I started, house doesn't oh last time I was there it didn't smell bad yeah I mean I get it ventilated I don't I always close my bedroom door

because the thing that is so gross to me is to smell it on your pillow pillow yeah but so my bedroom never ever smells like smoke at all

but I don't like going outside like a leper so it's not just it's not just dark when the guys come over. There's a smoke screen. Are you in here?

Is the building on fire? It's like a film noir in there. And then I'm a terrible interrupter. Yes, yeah. I said that you'll apologize for interrupting by interrupting. It's funny. Yeah, it's funny.

You guys, yeah. So we asked, so something your friend does that drives you crazy and you guys said the same thing. We did. Smoking and then interrupting. Yeah. She's a bulldozer. I am.

Yeah. But that's, I really admire that quality in people. Because I've had the best bulldozers I've known have been the most ambitious, hardworking, and they get stuff done. Yeah. You know, get stuff done. I also said in our ambitious, hardworking, and they get stuff done. Yeah. You know, get stuff done.

I also said in our show, I'm also usually trying to corral. Yes. Yeah. You're the herder. So I'm like, you know, great about the dead body, but what does it have to do with shopping? Yeah, exactly. But then again, we'll have a whole episode. There was an episode on shopping where we talked about shitting our pants.

Yeah, we were shitting the whole time. The whole time. The whole time. How many times have you shit your pants? I have three times. Sober. So pants. Yeah, definitely shitting the whole time. The whole time. The whole time. How many times have you shit your pants? I have three times. Sober. Sober. Yeah.

I definitely have. One time I shit my pants. Well, I was in my house naked and shit. So there was no pants. What? This was like four years ago. Wait, what? How?

What? This was like four years ago and it was in Provincetown. And I was staying in a place that was so cheap. And the carpet in this place was like outdoor three-season carpet. And I was standing there nude. I've done that too. I was standing there nude looking out the front door. Like imagine me.

I was like, what? This is so wild. Standing in front of a screen door. Standing in front of a screen door nude. And I remember like I live alone at the time and I thought I had to fart. Oh no. And so I was standing there naked staring out the window and more happened. And more happened.

I turned around and like there was some distance. Oh wow. Yeah. There's some propulsion. Yeah. But luckily it was a rental place and it was outdoor carpet indoors. It was fine. Yeah.

It's like someone had done it before. Oh, yeah. I did the same thing too. I was naked at my computer standing up waiting for Craigslist, the things to come in. And I was, because I do, I had like adventures in douching and it was like, I wouldn't really get the hang of it yet. And I did a little fart and mama a moment, a leader came out. Oh, no!

And I was like, my face, I was surprised, but I was happening, and I didn't stop it. You know what I mean? Standing at your computer like one of those ambitious office people who have a standing desk. Oh, absolutely. It was very that. I was there like, I don't have enough time to sit down. I got things to do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was crazy. Wow. But a hardwood floor. Wait, have you ever shit to sit down. I got things to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. Wow. But a hardwood floor. Wait, have you ever shit yourself? Yes. I mean, it happens. It happens.

Yeah. It doesn't happen a lot. Everybody has shit themselves. Yeah. For me, it's always happened hungover. Yes. For me, it's medication. Like, gonorrhea shot.

Gonorrhea shot. Too much cold medicine at night. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then, well, reducing disaster. Because you have this relationship with the way your body eliminates. And when it's suddenly changed without your knowing, I'm never just healthy alone in my home shitting my pants.

Shitting the bed sucks. She not only shit a bed. I shit Courtney. She shit Courtney Axe's bed. Really? Yeah. But I mean, that was like child's play compared to what I did at home in my place. Like, it was, you know Pet Sematary when he pulls open the covers and all his legs are covered in dirt because he had been sleepwalking? That's what it was like.

I pulled open the covers and I was like, what? No. Oh, no. And I had distinctly remembered, like half sleep Like farting in my sleep And then thinking There was something strange about that I'm just going to ignore it and go back to bed Pretend it's not happening

It was horrible It was truly horrible Oh boy That was really gross I shit in my bed once Yeah I was very drunk And I woke up

And I didn't realize I shit myself Until I went to the bathroom And shit just fell on the floor. And I was like, what? And then I was like, it's everywhere. It was really awful. And I was in a hotel. Drinking.

Drinking makes it happen. Drinking is bad. I'm poisoning myself with every drink. Especially everyone being young and doing drag and living on like pizza and fireball and then like shitting your pants. Like it's also like the contents of it. Does drinking give you the shits? If you're like hungover drunk, does it make the next day it's a very like wet situation?

Oh, okay. Your body's like trying to get the poison. Yeah. Gotcha, gotcha. It's a rushed, it's an overnight shipping. Pissing through your asshole. Okay, speaking of shitting, we asked who would be better on Survivor

and Trixie said that Katya would because she's weathered so much. Grizzled and ornery. She's already a survivor. Weathered. Weathered. Hardened. You don't need much to eat.

You only eat a couple candy bars a day. She survived on crystal meth. So you can survive anything. You survived crystal meth. I think that's a cakewalk compared to a televised survivor. Yeah. At least they give you. Do they give you food on survivor?

I think you get to eat. Because it's challenging. It's jungle food. But I feel like people lose weight on it so I think maybe you have to hunt you have to hunt some things I don't know

it's like every meal you have to go there a little chubby go at your window yeah you look so good oh yes I was on Survivor that was like

I don't know about you whenever I come home from Drag Race I'm always in like the best grief ridden weight of my life yeah because there's it's all the stress and anxiety and no time to eat you need all your meals drag race, I'm always in the best grief-ridden weight of my life.

It's all the stress and anxiety. And no time to eat. You need all your meals in drag standing up like a server at a Chili's. Really? With a corset on. You're full. Yeah, you guys are in drag all day. Red Bull and coffee. Have you ever taken a shit in a corset? No. Another time. Is it

good? Is it good shit to, you're being pushed. Is it good shit to be corseted? Yeah. So does it like- I feel like the- You could probably lose an organ, but- I hate corsets.

Corsets are the devil. I go to Katya's trainer. Part of why I started going is because I can't live that corset life anymore. Yeah. It's awful. It's rotten. It's rotten. When I think of last year when I was doing Moving Parts, that tour was 60 North American cities,

and I wore a corset for three hours a night. And you're singing. That's the thing I can understand. That's wild. That's not healthy. That's too much. Violet used to sleep in it. That's how she trained her waist to be so small.

She used to sleep in it. Yeah, but she's a strength. She's a masochist. That's how people train their. If you want a tiny waist, that's what you have to do. But doesn't that rearrange your organs and stuff? Oh, yeah, bitch. It's not great. But you look that's what you have to do but doesn't that like rearrange your organs and stuff yeah it's not great you look good you look great she looks perfect people do the same thing to their teeth yeah that's what braces are yeah i guess so gradually over and

over you know there's a line up and that's what forrest gump had to do to get his legs straight oh that's right the braces yeah katya said uh that katya would be best on survivor i do better because oh no if i could smoke i would do better i have weird mastery over my bodily functions which i still don't oh yeah uh i can go go days without pee which i don't know why that's relevant on Survivor it would be more socially cunning and Trixie is an open book but I can be

more conniving and manipulating right I feel like you would be like if you're trying to play a game yeah yeah yeah Pollyanna

I'm like everyone wants the best for everyone and you're in the corner crouching smoking in the darkness yeah

like a golem like over the rain I would love to see a survivor just smoking with a wig on no makeup oh yeah just like trying to

figure out how to win one woman's shoe we asked what do you hope you're both doing in 20 years Trixie said I hope none of my

veneers pop off and I hope she's alive I hope she pop off. And I hope she's alive. I hope she's not in drag. I hope I am wealthy and Katya is anti-sentimental. And then Katya's also said not doing drag. I hope she's extremely rich and also not doing drag. I hope I'm just alive. I would love to be a writer.

I hope I'm just alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A writer. Yeah, yeah. I was trying to think of writer. I hope I'm just a liar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A writer, yeah. Yeah, just I was trying to think of things that could be like a comfortable but interesting and potentially lucrative profession. Your writing is fun. We're writing a book right now. Yeah.

It's on pre-order. Yeah. It's called Trixie and Katya's Guide to Modern Womanhood. Oh, fun. Yes. So is it a self-help book? It's basically like a- Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Self-help meets like A home economics textbook Meets like A young girl etiquette Yeah

Oh Mine's a self-help book For fat women Really? Yeah just On how to wear a bikini What is it called? Oh it's called

Hashtag very fat Very brave The fat girl's guide To being brave And not suicidal In a bikini Yes I was asked To make it shorter

No I will not You're so brave. Our publishers have given us a lot of freedom, but there's this great picture of Katya flossing that they maybe weren't so in love with. It's Katya flossing, and her teeth and face is covered in blood, and so is the floss.

That's funny. They were like, no. That's so funny. For some reason, I wrote a section on menstruation, and they were like no that's so funny there's also like there's I for some reason I wrote a section on period on menstruation

and then I have I have a lovely photograph of a of a snail trail of blood coming from my vagina and I I don't think

we're going to be able to use that but I think it's a cool picture there's high well not to ruin it there may or may not be haikus about

getting your period yeah yeah yeah there's a haikus this is great. I can't wait to read this. Interesting to have a poem that doesn't have periods. Oh! Oh, my God.

I never thought about that. She's coming in with the knowledge. It's so wild. You're a knowledge farm. Thank you so much. Knowledge farm. So much. Great, because we're writing about periods,

and we don't have a lot of knowledge about it. So listen to us. I just can't imagine. Having a period? It's awful. Women's sanitary items should be free. That's what I said! It should be free.

Yes, because toilet paper's free in public bathrooms. That is not why it should be free. She keeps bringing up this argument. Like equating it to like... Because toilet paper's free, and it it should be free. She keeps bringing up this argument. Like equating it to like. Yeah, I mean like because toilet paper is free and it's actually not free. It is. It is. When you go to a public restroom, there is toilet paper.

It's free to use, but you can't just, well, you take them. Yes. But not everyone's supposed to be taking them. Wow. You take the rolls home, Nicole? Hell yes. Nicole was at the Emmys like this in your purse. There wasn't any loose toilet paper I looked

but she did take it from the hotel I did there's that little I think from the Emmys last night the clip from Veep where it's like

if men could have if men got pregnant that you could get abortion at an ATM that is the truth so true it's true it's absolutely true

yeah anyway well this was great this was very great you guys are wonderful we believe your friends we do

you passed the test I think we got some of those semi right yeah yeah yeah a lot of them were exactly right yeah yeah that's my favorite

20 years from now I was like she'll be 57 oh my god we can't imagine that person in a wig and you'll be 50 50 50

and I'll be 53 and how? 50. And I'll be 53? And how old are you? I'm 33. 33. You'll be 53 too. I'll also be 53. Podcasts will be what the kids think of now as like old time radio shows. Yeah.

What do you think entertainment will be 20 years from now? Gel. I think it'll be like. Do you say gel? Yeah, it'll be like a spreadable gel. I think it'll be like Total Recall when she's taking her tennis lessons. But that's Wii. Holographic.

I fucking love Wii. Hologram. It'll be like hologram. Oh, yeah. Remember Total Recall when Sharon Stone's taking a tennis lesson? Total Recall? Oh. Oh, yeah.

Oh, come on. I've never seen any movie that anybody likes. Movies. I don't like them. Movies. What's with that? They're always talking and moving. I hate it.

Just keep watching Forrest Gump over and over and over again. China. One of my favorite movies. It's a bad movie and I love it. It's not a bad movie. Have you watched it recently? You are kidding me. Not recently.

Watch it recently. It's crazy. A lot of stuff is happening in there. It's not a bad movie. Have you watched it recently? You are kidding me. Not recently. Watch it recently. It's crazy. A lot of stuff is happening in there. It's wild. Big Trouble Little China is a bad movie. That movie is so good. I've never seen that one either. What are you mad about?

That movie is great. Forrest Gump? Yes. When is the last time you watched it? A few weeks ago. Really? Yes. All right.

I will say I understood more as an adult than I did as a child. Correct. Yes. You're like, uh-oh. I watch it at least 10 times around the holidays because E will just play it. Last Christmas, played it back to back. So I'd be like, oh, I guess I better strap in and watch this again. Did you know that the accent that Tom Hanks does, he had it because the young boy who

was cast to play him had that accent? Yes. He added the accent because that kid had it. Oh. If you see the screen test, he didn't have the accent. Was that kid that good? I love you, Jenny. It was just like normal.

Really? Wait, they made Tom Hanks do a screen test for Forrest Gump? For chemistry with the kids and stuff. Oh, oh, oh, oh. That makes sense. I was like, he's probably off her only. Was that Steven Spielberg? No. I just rewatched Mommy That makes sense. I was like, he's probably off her only. Was that Steven Spielberg? No.

I just rewatched Mommy Dearest, and this part was like, Mommy has to do a screen test tomorrow. Do you know how humiliating that must be for her? I saw All About Eve at the Hollywood Cemetery. It's great. And then it was very funny, because all the Hollywood jokes, people were like, ha, ha, ha. It was like, oh, there's a bunch of butlers out there.

People were dressed like butlers out there. Who'd you invite? WME? And people were like ha ha ha like it was like oh there's a bunch of butlers out there people were dressed like butlers out there who'd you invite WME and people were like ha ha ha everyone's laughing extra hard to be like

I'm in the industry I don't get it I am an agent ha ha ha totally totally what do you sit on blankets and pillows

you gotta bring your own stuff I can't I can't sit I can't sit like that I'm not sitting on the ground to watch a movie I've seen already some people were pros

lawn chairs people brought lawn chairs some people had like a little portable table they were smart but I didn't know and I was like I guess I'll just

put my blanket down here and lay on the hard grass you were like the poor person like what's wrong with her can I have this corner right here you know in LA I played the Ford Theater and people love to make a picnic out of anything

the wine bottles and the baskets it's like how can we whiten this experience people love to bring a spreadable well like the Hollywood Bowl is like a picnic I fucking love it oh yeah yeah yeah it's great

I saw Mariah Carey open for Lionel Richie it was the wildest show I've ever seen in my life what homegirl was out of her mind it was great she at one point

this is mean I hope Mariah never hears this but you know she listens so her backup dancer picked her up you know, she listens, you know? So her backup dancer picked her up. You know, you like have too many grocery bags.

So you kind of like get down and like start moving fast. Her backup dancer kind of dropped down and then started moving. And I screamed and pointed. I was so pleased. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. You should include this in your book about not shaming. If you're picking up a big woman, do not squat down. I was so pleased. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. You should include this in your book about not shaming big women. If you're picking up a big woman, do not squat down.

And run like groceries. Like we're a bunch of groceries. Also like equating her body to like a sack of fruit. Like a sack of produce. I'm not fat shaming. I don't think they rehearsed. I don't think he realized and anticipated the weight of her body she's a grumble it was

so funny she's the ultimate diva well that's it where can we find if you want to look for your stuff up where can they find you oh online

on the world wide web yeah you can find me at katya underscore zamo k-a-t-y-a underscore z-a-m-o

and then welovekatie.com yeah at tricks and intel and everything and then we'rekati.com. Yeah. At Trixie Mattel and everything. And then we're currently filming season five of She's on the Law Presents Network. So you can watch one through four. And then also you can pre-order our book on Amazon,

Trixie and Kati's Guide to Modern Womanhood. And please pre-order it because that makes a huge difference in all things book sales and everything. It makes a huge, huge difference if you pre-order. Very funny. Pre-order. Pre-order, pre-order's pre-order. Very funny. Pre-order. Pre-order, pre-order, pre-order. And you don't even have to read it.

Just buy it. Your chapters are so funny. Oh, thanks. I'm going to go work on it tonight. They're so funny. Oh, great. It's fun. Psycho.

Good times. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks for having us. You two are just a real delight. You got to have friends. Bye. Bye. bye