Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Is Finally Back On Top LIVE! (Re-Release)

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

Recorded live at the Largo at the Coronet, Nicole and Sasheer swap weird interview questions they have been asked, try to find the actual Paul Blart, pitch easy acronyms, and celebrate Nicole’s small foot movements. They recap the highlights of their Hawaii trip, their mission to see the giant dildo, if either of them are approachable, and getting into fights at the airport. They take a quiz where they take a trip to Costco to see how good in bed they are, and answer listener questions about long-distance friendship, setting boundaries, bad titties, and more! Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at: [e-mail] [phone]‬  Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/friends.

Hello friends, we are taking a little holiday break because we gots to get our travel on, but we will be back January 8th and if you really miss us you can listen to our older episodes. Otherwise, we'll see you in the new year. Bye bye. Yeah! Wow! Thank you so much for coming out. Yes, thank you for coming. Welcome to Best Friends Live. Yeah! Wow, thank you so much for coming out. Yes, thank you for coming.

Welcome to Best Friends Live. Yeah! I'm Sushir Zemeda. I'm Nicole Byer. And that's Kimmy on the keys! Kimmy on the keys. Wow. We spent all day together.

Yeah. Well not all day, we had separate mornings. Thank God. No we didn't eat a little time apart. You've said this. You're right. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I was tricking you.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah wait, so what did you do this morning? You had an interview. I had an interview with Blavity. Yes. And yeah, and I just talked about being black. It's a black website. So like, what were the questions?

Was it like, so are you? People wanna know, are you? And you're like, yeah. What were some of the sample questions? It actually didn't have that much to do with me being black, but it're like, yeah! What were some of the sample questions? It actually didn't have that much to do with me being black, but it was like, how did you get into comedy? What are your biggest setbacks? Have you learned in your career?

Stuff like that. Good stuff. Really good stuff, yeah. You listened to an interview that I did while we were on vacation in Hawaii, and I won't say what publication it is. Out them. No. Call them. No. But he was like, so you're gonna be in our city on 9-11. Feels wild, right? Also, Beyonce's here. You're gonna try to see her?

And I was like, wait, what? No, do you think she's gonna see your show? Do you think Beyoncé's gonna see your show? And I was like, did you just ask me about 9-11? And then quickly segue to Beyoncé? And then they didn't put that part in the article. But you better believe they misquoted me left to right. Ha ha ha!

Yeah, a lot of interviews suck, so it's nice when you get a good one. The best interview I did was, were you there? No, Mateo, my friend Mateo Lane, my other friend John and Nick, my two friends from high school, they were there, it was for Elle magazine. The lady transcribed it word for word, and I sound like a lunatic. Like at one point they were like, what is cake?

And I was like, sponge. It is called a sponge. Boy oh boy. But I don't know, cake, what is cake? See, hard. It was a hard question. A bait, good. See, hard! Like... It was a hard question. A bait good. Oh, fuck.

I think that's the answer! Fuck! That interview's two years old, and nobody has said bait good! That's the right answer. Yeah. One time I did an interview and the guy transcribed everything we said,

except one question and he asked me, well, I guess it was like a comment. He was like, so you're pretty. And I was like, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What? I was like, tight nailing.

What is this girl doing? But that specifically sucks because either answer is wrong. Yeah, it'll be like, yes. Or, no, I'm not. I'm trash. And it's like, well, either you're delusional or delusional. I was truly wondering what the second one was going to be. Delusional and delusional's good.

Thanks. So are you pretty? So he goes, no, well hold on, he goes, so you're pretty, do you find it hard to get laughs on stage because you're so attractive? And I said, what the fuck? Um, you can't ask me that, would you ask a man that? And he was like, well, there aren't really that many attractive men in comedy.

Ha ha! And I was like, all right. I... You got me there. Oh, come on. I mean, there are. There definitely are. There's so many, like, Kevin James. Um... Um...

Um... But I guess... I should have come for Kevin James. Yo, what did he do to you? Absolutely nothing. He was trying to evil lap. He was trying to be a mall cop, you know? And I...

Honestly, what a funny name for a movie franchise. Yeah. Paul Blart. So many people signed off on the name Paul Blart. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. See, that's why they did that. It's funny. It makes people laugh. Wait, Kimmy, can you look up if there's an actual person named Paul Blart? No. Have you seen that? Uh.

He has a... No. No. I don't think so. No. Can you scroll up a little bit? Wait, wait, wait. It was like a little bit down.

A little bit down. A little bit down. Paul Blart mall cop recap. Falling over with style. Oh boy. Have you seen that Instagram of that man who, I think he's a security guard and he just farts? Absolutely not. who I think he's a security guard and he just farts. Hmm. Absolutely not. It's an Instagram account.

I don't know what it's called, but Kimmy. Kimmy on the key. It's just a guy who, yeah, yeah. All right, all right. Yes, this is it. These are loud fart. Is he sick? He's not well. And he's dead at the camera the whole time while he's just farting.

Wow, this is long. Oh, this is a compilation. It's only a minute and 46 seconds. We are 34 seconds in and I feel like it's tomorrow. But I think that's a compilation from his Instagram account because they're just, each post is just one of those. You know what the saddest thing is? Every time he made kind of a cute face,

I was like, I guess I'd fuck him. You know? You know what? He's not farting all the time. Yeah, just at work. Yeah. And that's great, he's getting it out of the system at work so when he comes home not farting all the time. Yeah, just at work. Yeah. And that's great. He's getting it out of the system at work.

So when he comes home, he's all cleaned out. He can slam it right. Ready to fuck, fart free. And there's nothing I hate more than when a man farts while inside of me. Has it? I don't think it's ever happened. Has it happened?

Oh my God, you've been in a L-T-R, long-term relationship. I did that acronym good. You did? Yeah, it came pretty easily. But none of the other words did. Where were we? Hawaii? And I was trying to say, always having fun.

A-H-F. It is A-H-F. Yes, and I know that now. But it was in front of somebody else. And I was so embarrassed. A. What was the one that we did earlier today and I got it so fast and you're like, that makes me mad.

Because I was able to think of the letters very quickly. Dang, I don't know. You were even driving too. So like. My brain was on fire. You had like a task at hand and you were able to think, what did I say to you earlier? Oh, I was like, so you don't have ADD.

Does that mean you remember everything? So like you go to sleep, you're like, I did all the things I was supposed to do. You're like, I guess. But we never got into it. So you remember stuff? I do. How does that feel? It feels good. Sometimes I don't remember stuff.

But does it ever happen in a panic? You're like driving someone and you're like, I didn't shut the oven off. Oh, I've totally forgotten stuff before like I've left an eye on the stove on before and left the house. You left a what? Like an eye on the stove. A what? An aisle? An eye., what? Am I stupid? Thank you! Wait, I'm the weird one? You're the fucking idiot! Yeah! Yeah!

You're a fucking freak! You're a fucking freak! What are you leaving on stooge? You fucking weirdo! People don't call it an eye? What is an eye? Kimmy, please help. I've never heard of this before.

I've never been more pleased. Uh... Stovise? It's a thing! What did you sell? Uh, stove eyes. Stove eyes? It's a thing. What did you sell? Fuck all of you! Nobody calls it that.

What, did you grow up in a Pixar fucking cartoon? I don't know where. Oh, you love that fucking magical toaster shit. Oh, the brave little toaster. Yes. That's why you call your oven eyes. Because I think it's a magical toaster shit. Oh, the great little toaster. Yes! That's why you call your oven ice.

Because I think it's alive? Yes! Wow, that was hard for me to get out. I knew where you were going. Thank you. So, we went to Hawaii. I'm tired. Well, you got up and crouched in front of me and screamed at me. I also did small movements that took a lot out of me.

Did you notice? My little feet were going. Ooh. It was just my favorite move. In Black Lady's sketch show, I turn around in a chair, and I do this as I turn. And it's just for me. No one has commented on that. No one was like, brave choice. So we just got back from Hawaii.

What a dang treat. Except for the cockroach. There was a giant cockroach in our room that was maybe this fucking big. It was really big. Like, okay, podcasting is an audio medium, There was a giant cockroach in our room that was maybe this fucking big. It was really big. Like, okay, podcasting is an audio medium, so it was as big as a horse.

It was the biggest insect I've ever seen in my life. It was really nasty. I was about to get in the shower. Starting to disrobe. I was laying on the bed, luxuriating. Is that a word? I don't know. Okay. It is a word? I don't know. Okay, it is? Yes, I'm killing it.

No, I- Guess you're right all the time. Let's be nice. Yeah, yeah, Tuesday, nope, Thursday's my day. All right, well. Oh. Okay, I was bashing in the shower and I moved the shower curtain Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh on him. Yeah, sure. Come on. And then I got trash can because I was going to try to trap it, but then it crawled up in the shower and it stayed in the corner. And so I was just like staring at this cockroach and I guess staring at me and I'm like, what are you going to do? What move are you going to make? And I was like, should I call the front desk?

You were like, absolutely. So I called the front desk. I was like, hello, help, there's a cockroach in our room. Truly just like that. And she was like, what did you say? I was like, a cockroach in our room, help. She was like, I'm sending someone. And then waited exactly 17 seconds to call back and say,

help us. It felt like an eternity though. We were just standing there staring at the roach. It felt like so much staring at this cockroach. And then a tiny old man came in there. The cutest of old men. Got a little tissue, just smashed it with his hand, wiped it away and was like, okay, I got it.

He didn't even smash it, he picked it up. Oh yeah. To maybe set it free on the other parts of the hotel. He's like, oh, they don't like it. I'll put it on the East wing. He was like, let's go scare more people. Cockroach's name is Steve. But apparently that happens in Hawaii a lot.

Yeah. They just like, are roaches there? Yeah. I was, I posted about it on Instagram and my friend Amanda was like, yeah, our rental car. We were driving and cockroaches started crawling out of the air vents. No!

And the car rental company was just like, we'll bring you a new one. But I think it's because it's tropical. Yeah, very moist. Mm-hmm. But we had fun though. We went on a lot of adventures and we were pretty tuckered out every night by 10. We did a lot. We did a really good job. We don't usually plan vacations at all.

We don't plan truly a thing. We went to Barcelona and we were like, what do people do here? And then we got a list of things to do and everything was closed by the time he went and did it. Yeah. I went to the Picasso Museum twice after you left and it was closed both times and it never occurred to me to just look. You're just like, I'm just going to go there. I was like, I don't know, it's 4 p.m. surely it'll be open.

No. Apparently museums, they go to sleep early. So we went on ATVs, which was fun. Yes. You drove like a maniac. It was so scary. And I haven't said this to you out loud. You thought I drove like a maniac? It was so scary.

There was fucking plants whipping me every bump you saw. You said my tires got to hit that. Like, wait, that was the point of the ride. Yeah. You were supposed to, it was like a muddy, dirty ATV ride and you're supposed to be like, I'm on an adventure. Right?

You thought I was driving like a maniac? A little, truly every bump you were like, that's for me. Like at one point I was like, if I fall out of this ATV, I guess I live in Hawaii. But that mud splash was fun, right? Oh, that was so much fun.

So, Sheer went so fast into this mud splash that it blinded her. And somehow, we could see other people's ATV going through this, because we're, like, on a group tour, going through the puddle, and the water would just... And everyone's being real pussies about it.

They're either going slow, or just, like, get into the, like, side of the car. because we were like on a group tour going through the puddle and the water would just... Real pussies about it. They were either going slow or just like get into the like side of the car. And the sheer was like... The water went above our ATV on the roof and was like raining down upon us. And then I couldn't see. We had these goggles on and I was like, all right, this will be fine. Oh shit. I can't see anything. And I was just wet and scared oh yeah I fully stopped forgot the hand

signal they could have hit us it was that today what stopped fully out of green light well that's gonna be had to get that dildo Nicole the Samantha, that we go take a picture with this dildo. This was an hour ago. So at Chi Chi La Rue, it's a sex shop. They have a giant fucking dildo, and I've been wanting to see this dildo up close. And we were on our way to Staples because I had to get school supplies from a classroom. And she told me she went to Staples yesterday. I was like, why are you going back to school? and she told me she went to Staples yesterday.

I was like, why are you going back to school? And she was like, yep, gotta get my classroom ready. And then never really answered the question. And so I still don't know why she's going to Staples. And then today she's like, will you take me to Staples? I was like, yeah, but why? And she's like, gotta get my school supplies. It's funny to lie.

Like a harmless little lie. And then see how long it takes the person to give up asking you what you really have to do at Staples. Also, I had a day yesterday. Wait, we haven't finished the story about the dildo. Uh-oh. Okay. Wait, we haven't finished the story about the dildo. Uh-oh. Okay, so you stopped at a green light. Well, we were on our way to Staples, and then you started telling me the directions to the dildo shop.

Oh, because we hit Santa Monica, and I was like, it's here! I think I looked at you and screamed, the dildo's here! May we please stop? Well, first you were like, hm, hm, hm, and you're like looking feverishly around and I was like, what's happening? And you're like, it's not, it's that way. Like it was like calling you. So I was following the directions you were giving me and then you told me where it was

and then you're like, and there's a parking spot right there so I stopped in front of it. But I made sure no one was behind us before I stopped. I had no idea. It was very funny to just look at green ahead of me in your car to stop. But I enjoyed it. And then you parked right in front.

There was three minutes left on the meter. I picked it up. I announced the store. I was not buying anything and we left. Yeah. It was a good time. It was perfect. What story was I trying to tell before you? You're gonna talk about how you didn't take your medicine yesterday. It was a good time. It was perfect. What story was I trying to tell before you?

You were going to talk about how you didn't take your medicine yesterday and you had a real time. And it sounds like I didn't take my medicine today. It does, yeah. But I did at 9 AM and it's what time? Ha ha ha ha! Wait, how long does it last? Hmm, maybe 10 hours? Maybe 8?

I don't, I didn't ask any questions. This lady was like, you definitely have ADHD, because I talked pretty uninterrupted for like 10 minutes and she was like, this is awful for me. This is psychiatrists? This is very bad, yeah. So she prescribed it and I asked zero questions.

But then I started taking it and I was like, life is better. I don't need to know anything. Whatever it's doing, it's great. Mahalo. Oh, so I didn't take my medicine yesterday and then I had to go to Staples for my classroom supplies

and then I left after I got them and then I was like Nordstrom Rack and I felt like, you them, and then I was like, Nordstrom Rack. And I felt like, you know in movies where they're like, ah, I was like, I have to go in there. And then I went up this like ascending escalator and I was like, oh boy, it's gonna be fun in here. I'm glad you didn't go up a still escalator. Of course it's ascending.

No, it could be descending. All right. It could be. But you would mean going up a descending escalator. Hmm. Yeah. So you're right. You're finally back on top. Feels good to be back. I went to Nordstrom. I found a big pink coat I didn't need, bought it, it's too small, but you know. You didn't try it on? I did.

Okay. And I just like really was filled with joy about shopping like in person. I haven't done that in so long. I'm usually just, you know, click clacking on the internet, but like at a real store, you can walk up and down the shoe aisle with no shoes on, slip your nasty little feet into any shoe you want.

It is a great fucking time. I was in Nordstrom for three hours. I spent $300. It was like, three hours? $100 per hour seems right to me! And then I went to Lane Bryant, because I was like, they have sparkly jeans. What? That I'd seen on the internet.

So I wanted to see them in person, try them on. They were no good. So then I bought different jeans that I wasn't even looking for and they don't fit. These ones are too big. I don't know. I gotta take my medicine. And that's the moral of that story.

Oh, thank you. People are clapping at my frivolous spendings. They're like, you go girl, you earned it. She won't wear any of those clothes. She works so hard to look at things. Do you like shopping in real life? I do, I love shopping. in real life? I do, I love shopping. In real life?

Like in the store instead of online shopping? Yes! Okay. Yes! I understand why that was so hard. Because I guess everything we do in life is in real life. I'm not virtual reality shopping. I'm not like, yes, I do in real life.

But we shop together. Yeah. I guess thrifting to me is different than shopping. Why? I'm not sure. And I knew this question was going to come after I said it. Is it because thrifting is more like a hunt? Yeah, maybe that's what it is.

A treasure hunt? Yeah, and it's like, I know I'm gonna put in the work, but at Nordstrom Rack, I just walked and the things came to me. I was like, how could I not buy these new Georgina fucking hydrating facial wipes? How could I not buy this fucking mirror? How could I not buy this adventure backpack? Yeah, you did get an adventure backpack. I'm really excited about my adventure backpack.

It's waterproof. Yeah, because when we went on that boat, I didn't have anything waterproof. You guys, we got on a boat. In Hawaii. I... I might cry. I've never been happier. It really was the happiest I've ever seen her.

At one point she was like, do you feel the waves? And I said, I only feel happy. She got dead serious. You cried multiple times. It was really fun. It was great. I loved it so much.

It was a whole day on the boat. And then I took pictures of that couple and they kept thanking me. Oh, yeah. It was really fun, it was great. I loved it so much. It was a whole day on the boat. And then I took pictures of that couple and they kept thanking me. Oh yeah. That was. You are a good photographer, like to prompt people for poses.

They were like, can we get a picture? And she's like, okay, look like you love each other. All right, look sexy. All right, look, now a fun one. And then they just, you know, they're doing like, meh, meh, meh. And then they got the phone back and they're like, these are the best pictures we've ever had

in our entire life. We've never looked like we had fun one time. And as they were driving away, it was dark. It was pitch black, no lights, and we're black people. And- Well, we could be seen, there's headlights. No, it was so dark. We there's headlights. No, no. It was so dark.

We were in a dark field, no streetlights anywhere. We were one with the shadows. They somehow found me to thank me a third time. Yeah. But I think it's because people are dull in pictures. They just stand there and they're like, hurrah. Yeah. And it's like, I don't know, squat.

Fucking. Pop the air. Jump in the air. Show off your flame shoes. I love these shoes. They're great. So, Sheer. They're cool.

Why do you think the ankles of this onesie are so big? Did it used to be tighter? I think so. No, maybe not. Maybe I just never noticed. But like who the fuck? They are pretty baggy. They're so baggy at the ankles.

Like who the fuck has ankles thicker than their calves? Well maybe they're from people with cankles who have ankles as big as their calves. What a niche market. Because I didn't buy this. This was from a job that I had. But I wonder if she was like, oh no, she's fat. I better get something that expands everywhere. Will you explain what you're wearing so that the people listening will know what you're

talking about? Oh yes, because it's an audio medium. I'm wearing... It's like 100 degrees out and I'm wearing a long sleeve black bodysuit that's pretty thick and a chain belt that says Iconic. Thank you. Black lipstick and then flame shoes. Yeah. And then I was wearing purple sunglasses with rhinestones

and a backpack with rhinestones. Yeah. I look pretty fun. You look very fun. I would probably approach me. Do you ever think that? No. Would you approach you if you were not you?

You never think that? I've never thought of that. Huh. No. Would you approach you if you were not you? You never think that? I've never thought of that. Huh. Like, what's the situation where you would approach, like on the street, at a party? Yeah, anywhere. Anywhere. Where do you talk to the people?

I don't really approach that many people. Really? Not out in the wild. Not in real life. But if you see an outfit on a boss-ass bitch, what do you say? Oh, sometimes I am like, -"Excuse me, boss bitch." -"Yeah."

-"Where did you get that?" -"Yeah." So do you think you would talk to you if you saw yourself on the street? I think so. I would talk to me, too. Wow. I'd be like, wow, you look like fun. And then I'd be like, yeah, bitch!

Yeah. I would. I would. Would you talk to me? I mean, obviously not. No, I think I would talk to you, but I think I would wait for someone else to say something to you to see if you yell at them. What? Like I look mean?

No. Why would I yell at them? I'm not sure. Nicole? What? If I didn't know you, I would think maybe you yelled. Really? Does it any old person?

Uh, maybe. You think I yelled? Maybe. Alright. Or maybe if I was like, hi, how are you? And you go, yeah, okay. I've seen you interact with strangers. Oh no, are you drinking? Are you okay? Oh wait, should I stop? I'm okay, I swallowed.

Dang, I was really hoping for a spit take. Well, I only mean to strangers when they're, when they deserve it. When does a stranger deserve it? You domestic terrorist. When does a stranger deserve it? Like is there being rude? Or in my way? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But I've seen you be mean to people who definitely don't deserve it. Because you- But in a jovial way. No, no. We were at an airport coming back from Miami.

Cancun. From Cancun. And you were in first, because you always are, and there are people standing in front of the line, like they're always are, they're just hovering and they're like, I'm in zone three, but I gotta be here right now. And you like pushed your way through them to get to- No. I said, sir, are you boarding right now?

And he said, no. I said, oh really? Well, they you boarding right now?" And he said, no. I said, oh really? Well, they are boarding Sky Priority and First Class and Diamond Medallions only. So I don't know why you're standing here. To which he said, there's an airport lady, everybody stands. I said, there are rules!

There are rules in an airport, sir! You cannot stand here! And then that's when I removed him from my way. Yeah. Okay, this sounds heroic, but you don't hear. You are my friend! You did not. Fuck your fucking stove eyes, you goofy ass bitch!

You didn't hear this guy's actual tone. He was the most like, I'm Mahalo dude. Like he was just like having fun in Cancun. And he's like, oh man, everybody stands around at the airport and then you turn around like, no! No, no! Oh man, everybody stands around the airport and then you turn around like, no! No, no!

Like you took it from like an argument at a 20 to a hundred in one second and I was like, yikes! I'll fight anyone at the airport. I know! I fucking love it. I'll slam my fucking carry-on into your head. I want to fight at the airport.

You fight, you'll tell me, you'll come back from trips and tell me like, oh, I gotta fight with this guy at the airport. And I'm like, there's a common denominator and it's you at the airport. You get into so many fights at the airport. And one time I asked you, or no, maybe you just said it.

You were like, yeah, I don't take my medicine before I go on planes. And I'm like, maybe that's part of it. Maybe, but I think I'm just a superhero, you know, saving people at the airport from acting fuck is stupid. Everyone acts terribly at the airport and I'm here to let them know. If your shit doesn't fit in the overhead,

fucking roll your ass out. Fucking chuck it. Don't fucking, I got it. You don't got nothing. But no one's gonna leave being like, wow, that lady who yelled at me in front of everybody really changed my mind. But maybe one person will.

And that's all it takes. Also, I can't wait to get recognized while yelling at a person at the airport. Someone's gonna film you. I can't fucking wait. I can't wait. We ain't gonna film you, tell them the rules. I can't wait. Just an aggressive woman being like, these are rules.

Yeah. Whatever, I'm just preparing for my classroom. Okay. What classroom is this? A nice board with the rules. You'll see when we go to Staples later. You still have to take me. Will it be open? I don't... yeah. You're the one who goes to Staples all the time. You don't know when it's open? I don't... yeah? You're the one who goes to Staples all the time, you don't know when it's open?

I am new to this classroom situation so I haven't figured out what time it closes. I can't imagine it be open at like 11 p.m. Why not? Most things are not. I was gonna say are but then I was like it's LA, nothing's fucking open. Yeah. I don't know, let's swing by one and see what happens. Great. We can also look it up online. No. Okay. I don't like looking up stuff.

Oh, I know. Sometimes you'll just like drive around and not put the badge in the GPS and you're just like, well, we'll see. It's fun. I like it. Also, I don't want them to know where I am all the time. But they do anyway.

Not with the... But I don't have my gyps on. No, but it... But you know when you, like, open the map and it shows you where you are anyway, whether you put the address in or not? I hate this. I just said her and I. I hate this.

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. Do you think you were outsmarting the Maps app? I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I told him where I was. But honestly, it makes sense, because every time I started, it knows where I am. I just never really thought it through. I think what happens in my life is I think a thought, and then I never check on it. Oh, my God, I was just like. Big tears come out.

Oh my God. This is the third time I've cried today. Yeah. Yeah, this is number three. We did a photo shoot where the lady was like, pretend to do something to Nicole. And I thought she was trying to get something out of my nose and I was like, oh, what's in there? She's like, pretend to do something to Nicole. And I thought she was trying to get something out of my nose and I was like, oh, what's in there?

She's like, I'm pretending. And I was like, I was tricked. And then I started crying because I was embarrassed. And then, I'm like fully crying. Then we had an interview where she was like, what do you like most about Sashire? And then I couldn't stop crying. Because I like you so much.

I like you too. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh my God. Someone give me an Oscar.

Oh my god, that's the thing, if I ever have to cry on set, I'll just get someone to ask me a question that I don't really know. Yeah, or like, if you discover something, or get embarrassed, or end up in the wrong place, or... You cry for a lot of reason. If you discover something or get embarrassed or end up in the wrong place. Or you cry for a lot of reason. Anything. I mean, it's just life is so dang hard. Is my makeup dumb?

No, you look great. Okay, thank you. Yeah. Do you want to do a quiz or would you like to ask some oh my god would you like to ask the audience no do you want them people to talk to us I have got to take a nap. Maybe a small quiz. A small one. Can you give me the keys? I got some small quizzes. Most of these are pretty quick. What does the lab do? Let's take a trip to Costco and see how good we are in bed.

What? Oh, okay. I don't know how your eye was not drawn to that. I did. Silly me, I started reading in order. Okay, BuzzFeed has a quiz called take a trip to Costco and we'll tell you how good you are in bed. Okay, are you there for groceries or to eat?

Oh baby, you know I'm there to eat. Yeah, I'm just there to eat or just shopping. Well, I would say to eat as well. We love to eat. And we got to eat. Okay. How do you feel about the free samples? I fucking love them.

What's the answer? Oh, they're- Oh yeah, I love them. Uh-huh. Great. So that's yours. I like how it went. See,huh. That's good. Great, so that's yours. I'm gonna go with that one. It's either mankind's greatest invention, they're the main reason for going to Costco,

it's all the same to me, I hate them. Who would hate them? Who hates free food? I would say they're the main reason for going to Costco. Great. Okay, pick a pizza. Pepperoni, supreme, cheese. Aw, man. Pepperoni Supreme Cheese. Oh man.

Pepperoni for me. The pepperoni one looks better, like if I have to eat the one in the picture, but like I prefer a cheese pizza. So do I have to eat the one in the picture or do I get to eat what I wanna eat? We're shopping for fake, this is not for real. So you're not gonna actually eat that pizza.

I know. I know. I'm just trying to say I prefer a cheese pizza, but I don't like the way it looks there. So should I pick it based on look or what I personally like? OK, I guess. I'll pick the cheese. Yeah, that's great. What Costco classic do you crave the most? Chicken, bake, hot dog, barbecue brisket. You know I love that hot dog.

You love a hot dog. I think I'm gonna actually go with the hot dog too. I love a Costco hot dog. They are good. Hot dog? Speaking of hot dog, how do you take yours? What? Oh my God, this middle picture is very fat.

Like, it's like 3D coming at me. With the works, whatever I whatever I feel like at the time I guess well I probably whatever you feel like at the time yeah cuz you you switch it up I switch it up. I switch it up. I like to see what my body wants in the moment. Mine is definitely plain. I do like- No condiments at all? No, fuck that. No. I do not like ketchup on a hot dog, that's disgusting.

I do not like mustard on anything- Very controversial. That's disgusting. I do not like relish, that's also fucking chopped up bits, disgusting. What else do you put on a hot doggy? Get the fuck out of here. Onions. Cheese? Cheese? Maybe I'll dip.

But not on my fucking dog. Okay. Oh bacon. You like bacon? What? Like crumbled up on my dog? No. Or wrapped. Maybe. Depends on how I'm feeling that day. But for the most part, nah. I like a naked dog.

All right, strong opinions. Thank you. Which quote unquote healthy Costco fare do you prefer? Sandwich rolls, a salad, sushi. Well, I wouldn't trust the sushi. I would go with the salad because I like the way that looks. Yeah, you like iceberg lettuce. Hmm?

Isn't that what that is, iceberg lettuce? I love iceberg lettuce. It's like eating water. I would go with the sandwich roll. You do like a hearty thing. Churros, donuts, or cookies? Cookies every fucking time. Churros.

Churros are good, but I'm a cookie bitch. Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! I love soft serve! Oh, my God. Halibut and soft serve? I was just screaming my pants about the soft serve I was eating backstage serve. Oh my god. How about some soft serve? I was just screaming my pants about the soft serve I was eating backstage earlier. It's true.

My god, it was so fucking good. It was from John and Vinny's, if you haven't been, go have their soft serve. Yum, yum, yum, yum. When we were in Hawaii, we were at a pool that had an ice cream stand and people kept walking past with ice cream and Nicole would be in the, she was in the water, she she's like where is it coming from? I was like ask somebody

she's like I can't figure it out. I asked the staff member and he's like oh it's from that stand over there it closes at four and then she like hurry down the water and we went over to the stand. It was 340. They shouldn't have closed so early. No. They closed too early. And- 20 minutes early. And they were cleaning up the- And that's not the rules they set.

And you are all about the rules. Only when it affects me. And they're like, they're teens. Like cleaning up the machine. And there's still like a bucket with the remnants of the soft serve, I guess. And Nicole's like, can I have that? Okay, when you say it out loud, I do sound insane.

But what happened? But at the time, I was like, give me that bucket of slop. And this poor teenager was like, I can't, I can't do that. And I was like, why not, give me the slup. She's like, I'll give it in trouble. Well, you give it to me. I'll give you money, currency, give it. And like, this is the counter,

your face was like so into their space. You're like, give me, give me an ice cream. And they're like, I can't ma'am. And then you just like stomped away. Stomped two steps away and when I fucking hate those kids, I wanted my fucking soft serve. And then we got in the hot tub, and I was like, I think I'm over it, maybe I overreacted.

I went in the hot tub, because I was like, I'm not gonna be a part of this. And then you sat by yourself for a while, and then maybe five minutes later, you got in the hot tub, and you're like, I think I'm over it now. I was really angry. You can't promise a bitch soft serve and then not give it to her.

Yes, they really shouldn't have closed so early. No, also why not give me the goop? What's wrong? Again, it sounds wild. Let me lick the bowl. Let me in the machine. OK, I'm going to say vanilla because I'm very plain. OK.

You don't like cold things. This is going to be hard for you. Yeah, I don't want any of this, officer. OK, I'll take yours. Get vanilla. Although, I think if I was to get it, I would get strawberry. Just give me some vanilla. Although I think if I was to get it I'd get strawberry. Just give me some vanilla. But I think if I was a person who wanted a sausage I would probably get strawberry. Ew really? You want goops of fucking fruit in your treat? I'll get vanilla. Thank you. Okay, how about a dessert to take home? Chocolate pie, walnut

pie, chocolate covered strawberries, muffins. My mom used to buy the muffins so I have a real nostalgia for those muffins. Nice. Especially the chocolate chip ones, because they have little crystals of sugar on them to really make sure you die. Mmm. So I'm going to say muffins.

And I think I would say chocolate covered strawberries. Sick, because that's what I wanted you to get. Oh. Because then I could have some. I'll share. You're really living out this shopping trip. I love Costco. Who's this for?

This is Nicole's. Whoa! You're a sex machine! Yes! No one is left unsatisfied with you. Yes, I'll suck your soul out. Who knows how you do it, but you exceed expectations every time you hit the sack. You clearly have a special talent and you have to use it.

Otherwise, you'd be depriving the world of something beautiful. Okay. Okay, universe, do you hear it? Send me some dick. Let's do yours. Oh, wow. You're a sex machine too? Sashir, wow!

You're a sex machine! Did you watch the video I sent you of the woman who gave exercises on her right- Oh no, I like so much it. It's pretty funny. In a way where I watched all 11 minutes and I don't even know how I ended up with the video, and then I started reading the comments and everyone was like, I don even know how I ended up with the video and then I started reading comments and everyone

Was like I don't know how I ended up with this video I don't know I was not watching sex stuff on YouTube, but it like gave me her video Maybe she like pay a lot of money to promote it. Is that how you think? I think you can do that. Oh interesting But uh truly it was it was... it was just... it was pretty helpful. What were some of the ways? It was just isolating your hips. So she was like, get on the floor, straddle,

and then just move your hips up and down. She's like, don't just wiggle on his dick because that's not doing nothing. And I was like, a lot of ladies out here are gonna be sad to hear that. I watched a lot of porn, a lot of times I was like, is that good for everybody? Mm-hmm, a lot of times I'm like, is that good for everybody?

And then she has you stand up, look in the mirror while wearing something sexy and move your hips. So I did it last night and I think it was good. Nice. Cause I bought that pillow. Have I mentioned on this podcast that I bought that pillow? I don't think so. Okay, so I bought like a riding pillow

to like stick a dildo in and then hop on board and go, wee-ee-haw! It's my old town road, and... Ha ha ha ha ha! Still my number one. So the dildo I bought was nine inches, which is... Ha ha ha ha! Yeah. Someone audibly was like, in pain for me.

And I'll tell you, Mam or Sir, I don't know who it was. I bruised myself. I rode a little too hard. And truly, like, right before I came, I was like, ouch! And it was very strange. I was like, this was bad. Like, I came and I was like, this was bad. Like, I came and I feel good, but bad.

I think I bruised my cervix, like, for real. Um, so I'm waiting for my smaller dill. What? How big is this one? I got eight, and I think that's still wrong. Because I have an eight inch, and I put that in there and it was still too big. Wait, so why did you just pick another eight?

Because I forgot I had the eight inch. So I guess I gotta order a seven incher? But like, I love a big honking cock. So like, I think it's just the pillow's too high up. Cause I can take a nine inch. I don't want you to think different. I didn't say you couldn't. I can take a nine incher any day of the week. I don't want you to think different. I didn't say you couldn't.

I could take a nine-inch or any day of the week. Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Thursday, Monday, Sunday, Saturday. Why did you do the week like that? Because I wanted to stun on you that I could say all seven days out of order. And that's impressive. For me it was because I was like, I think I actually did it.

I think you did. Yeah, I did good. Great job. Yeah, just now. All right. Well, I guess you have to order a seven-incher. Yeah. Or maybe a sixer? But I don't want them to think that I can't take more.

Who's the best, who is they? The dildo company? They're like, oh, this bitch and her shallow-ass pussy. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Oh! God forbid some nice person packaging sex toys was like,

ah, she can't take it. I would be devastated, okay? When you were standing in the mirror, gyrating your hips, was it forward-back? Yeah. Well, you want me to do it with you? Sure. Well, do you want to do the floor one or the up one? Let's get on the floor.

Okay. Okay. So she's like, you have to get into the optimal position, which is like this. You've just spread your legs. And then she was like, don't be on the balls of your feet. Just let your feet go flat. And then she was like, so you want to move balls of your feet, just let your feet go flat. And then she was like, so you wanna move your butt up and then down, and then up and then down.

Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. Ah, okay, yeah, yeah. And then she's like, and that's how you do it. And then she's like, you can like lift up and then up, down, just like you get like the head of it. And then she goes. Whoa, that's like a you can like lift up and then up down. Just like you get like the head of it. And then she- Wow. That's like a lot of thigh work.

Yes, that's why she's like, do the exercises. Wow. She was like, it's not to get fit, it's to fucking please this man. And then she kept talking about her yoni and I was like, she's trying to talk about my pussy. Like I was a little confused about that, but it's been pretty helpful.

That's awesome. My pillow has no complaints. I was reading a book about witches, cause of course, and there was, they were talking about this company who makes Yoni eggs, those little crystals that you could put in your pussy to work the kegel muscles. They also make these crystal dildos to work the kegel muscles.

They also make these crystal dildos that some are like just long sticks and some are like dick shaped and you masturbate with them. Isn't that cool? I realized as I was saying, I was like, I guess there's no into this. It's just, this is what I saw online.

Well, I saw it in the book and then I looked at the company. I was like, this company looks awesome. But the dildos are like $200 or something like that. Damn. They're like expensive. So, you know, if you're listening, you could sponsor this podcast. You trying to get some crystal sticks to put in your postings? I want to try it. All the reviews look great.

Scared. What if there's a sharp edge? I don't think they would sell it to you if there was a sharp edge. I mean, what's the quality control like? I'm not trying to... It's been a company for a while, so I think they... I'm not trying to shove a crystal up my pussy and then pull out my fucking pussy. It's not like a crystal you'd buy in a crystal shop where it's like jagged. Oh, smooth? It's smooth like a crystal you'd buy at a crystal shop where it's like jagged. Oh, smooth?

It's smooth. Okay. They've crafted it. They've like, uh, welded it. I don't know. They've done something. I have no idea. If I was talking with a girl and she pulled out a fucking crystal dildo, I'd be like,

you're a wizard, Harry. Like I would, I'd be like, what, what, you have a crystal? You're gonna cast some spells? Like, what is this? Why is that weirder than anything else? No, I'm saying I'd be into it, I'd really enjoy it. Oh, okay. You sounded like it was-

Yeah, it'd roast her first, but then I'd be like- Oh, okay, but then you'd fuck her. You'd be like, stick it in me, I'm here. Waste not want not until I'm horny. I would use a crystal. Honestly, I would shove anything in me. Let's get real. That sounds bad.

I wouldn't put a potato in me. There we go. I'm glad we found the one thing. The one thing. Well, now we're at 51 minutes. We should definitely do audience questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How does this work again? Oh, Kimmy, Kimmy leaves the keys.

Kimmy leaves the keys. I forgot to say that I like her shirt. It's really cute. And for those people listening, it's a white shirt with fluttery sleeves or she got some cactuses and flowers. So yeah, you can ask us whatever you want. It could be about friendship. Our friendship, your friendship. If you have a Crystal Dild us whatever you want. Anything you want. It could be about friendship. Our friendship, your friendship. If you have a crystal dildo and you want to share it. Give me a review.

Yeah, let us know. Hi. Tell us your name, your age, and where you're from. I'm Susan. I'm from Toronto, but I live in LA now. I have a question about friendship. So my best friend who's visiting LA right now, he lives in a different city and I'm wondering how you maintain

a long distance friendship. It's hard. We had to do that for a few years because she lived here and I lived in New York. We talked almost every night. I would say that we did not text a lot during the day. I don't think unless it was like a meme or a picture or something.

But I think we saved most of our chatter to like hear each other's voices, which I always thought was nice. Yeah. And then we're both up late, but then you get up so early, how do you do it? So. I don't think I get up that early.

So early. Like 11 a.m.? Yes. That's not that early. It's before noon. So early. Yeah, I think that was helpful. Talking on the phone.

We also just traveled a lot. You came to New York a lot. Oh yeah, like the first two years I was out here, I was in New York like every other week. So I saw you, it was like I didn't leave. It was like I was on vacation a lot. Oh yeah, like the first two years I was out here, I was in New York like every other week. So I saw you, it was like I didn't leave. It was like I was on vacation a lot.

But we also did vacation together in other places. So like we would find reasons to like go to a city together or if we happen to be in the same area. Meet in the same city, yeah. Yeah, so do that. Yeah, meet each other in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, get. Yeah, meet each other in the middle. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, get over there, Kimmy. Or you get over there. You get over to Kimmy. Oh, yeah. Hi, I'm sorry. I'm Erin, Kins Father, 24.

I live in LA. So I've been working with my therapist on setting boundaries, and that's something I'm not good at doing. And I appreciate your friendship, because you guys seem to communicate a lot. And it looks like you're really good at setting boundaries and that's something I'm not good at doing. And I appreciate your friendship because you guys seem to communicate a lot and it looks like you're really good at setting boundaries. I don't know you like that, so maybe you're not, but.

But you seem like you are. And I find that with a lot of previous friendships where the friendship's already established, it's a lot harder for me to set those because I feel like I've lost a lot of friends that way. So do you have any advice on how to set boundaries, especially in friendships that are already established? Do you see you've lost friends from setting boundaries or from not setting boundaries? From kind of both. So if I set a boundary and then they're like, well, this is different than

the dynamic has been and I don't like that. And then there have been ones where I don't set boundaries and then like resentment builds within me of like, why are you doing this thing that I hate, that I didn't tell you that I hate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, if you have any advice, I'd like that. That's a great question. We have boundaries, I think.

I'm always testing those boundaries. No, I had one boundary where I was like, you can't see my titties and I won't see yours, which is pretty arbitrary. But it was a pretty hard boundary. Yeah, we would share a lot of hotel rooms. And you crossed it. I saw them titties in Hawaii.

Woo! But I, let's see, what are actual boundaries? Oh, well, I think like there's been times where I'm like, here's why I won't do X, Y and Z. Can you please respect that? And you go, yes, okay. I think, ah man, this is tough because it kind of sucks that your friends haven't been respectful to the boundaries that you've set,

but I think that might mean that they're not your friends if they don't want to adapt to who you're becoming. So if they're not on board for the ride, then leave them at the gas station. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leave them at the gas station. That's a really good answer. Thank you.

Yeah, I don't think I have anything to add. Oh, okay. Did you like my titties? You never said yes. And you never said no. You just said I saw them. And then you never said anything good or bad. You have great titties.

I don't have stinky titties. You don't have stinky titties, no. I didn't wanna talk about them more because I knew it was a surprise. We were in a locker room and she was like, can you do me a favor? I was like, yes. I walked around the corner and what the favor was

is that she wanted me to put her bra in my bag and she was gonna reach her arm out and then I would grab it but I didn't know that so I walked in and fully was in front of her titties and I just calmly took the bra and walked away and then later she was like, you saw my titties. But I didn't want to talk about it more and be like, your titties are great or not

because I didn't want you to, no, no, I didn't want to talk about it more and be like, your titties are great or not, because I didn't want you to... They're not. No, no, I didn't want to say anything, because I just didn't want you to freak out like this. I don't know. They're great. They're great. They're great. They're great titties.

Thank you. Oh, boy. And I asked to see yours today, and you wouldn't show me. Yeah, because I got what I wanted. And that's what you said earlier. I said, please come to the bathroom and show me your tannys. Everyone at this shoot, we were, I must have thought we were insane. What did I say that, oh, I was trying to figure out

what that kid said from the sixth sense. Oh yes, yes, yes, yeah. You were like, what's that kid say from the sixth sense. Oh yes, yes, yes. You were like, what's that kid say from the sixth sense? I see ghosts everywhere. And everyone truly was like, what? And then she went, don't tell her. I just wanted you to live the rest of your life thinking that that voice said,

I see ghosts everywhere. And I did it in the voice too. I see ghosts everywhere. But now I know it's, I see dead people. It's like, it's like, I'm like, ha ha ha people. It's like such a thing. It's like it melts. Is there another question? Oh, you want to go to the back?

Yeah, let's get in the back. Okay. Well, I'd show either of you my titties any time. Mahalo. And Nicole, I'm a big fan. I have major lady boner for you, but moving on. I have appreciated in this podcast, I think it's beautiful, like the positivity you'd bring to female friendship.

And I've loved when you guys have interviewed a couple of friends about like, what do you admire about each other? So I want to know, not that you haven't mentioned things that you guys like about each other, but my question is, if you could just tell us, like it doesn't have to be even, I don't want too much pressure here. So like not the thing necessarily you most admire about each other, but just anything.

I love this. You were like, I have a microphone and I will take my time. It's my microphone and I will take my time. I will take my time. I will reclaim my time. I'm sorry. I just like, what is a thing that you each admire about each other? Thank you.

I love you. Let's see. Your titties. Thank you. This means a lot to me. I think my favorite thing about you is you often know what I need. Because truly I really need it. They're really not bad.

No, they're not bad. You thought they were bad? Well, no one's ever said outright they're bad. But like, who would say that? A monster? I think titties in general are good. I don't know if there are bad titties. I think they are. What would a bad titty be comprised of? I wish Kimmy was on the keys because I'd ask her to look up bad titties.

She's running back! So wait I'm googling bad titties, I guess? Yes, please. Yeah, bad titties. I wanna see if a pair that looks like mine show up. Is the audience ready? Well, like, what? I don't know, we'll see what the Google tells us. This is scary. Bad titties.

Ever heard of bad titties? See, there's a whole Reddit forum. Ever heard of bad titties? See, there's a whole Reddit forum! Ever heard of bad titties? Alright, well let's see what Reddit has to say about this. Oh wait, oh, I don't know. It's like a clip, but I don't know. Okay, can you go back and just go to the Google Images and see if we can... Oh! Oh!

Okay, so it's man boobs, man boobs, just go to the Google images and see if we can. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, so it's man boobs, man boobs, girl getting cut. Her boobs! Oh, that's a back. That's someone's back. Yeah. A lot of porn. Yeah.

Oh, this one has a cross-eye, oh my God, not that. Oh! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Oh, this one has a cross-eye. Oh my god, not that. So, I guess there is no such thing as bad jitters. Wait, do it again. I'm going to stand in front of that one. Wait, which one? Wait, I didn't see it. This, this, this. She has one nipple down here and one up here. They're just like, kinda cock-eyed. They're like googly eyes. Googly eyes.

But I would say they're bad titties. Wait, what are you covering? Everyone close your eyes. I wanna... Oh! Oh! Oh! What an explicit thing to share with a bunch of strangers. Oh! Oh!

What an explicit thing to share with a bunch of strangers. Yeah. We should get rid of this page now. Yeah, that's bad. I'm not great at asking Googling things. Because what is the clit thing I asked to Google? Oh, big ol' clit. Yeah, that's bad, too. That's bad.

So bad titties, big ol' clit. These are things you should never google. Should we do one more? No, we shouldn't. Kimmy's back up here. I mean, I can go, or we have voicemails. Oh, sick. Let's do a voicemail.

Let's do a voicemail. Give me a sec. All right. Sorry, guys. I still don't even think those titties were that bad. I didn't think any of those titties were bad. Yeah. So I guess you're right.

There are no bad titties. Yeah. Come on, let me see yours on... Come on. Come on, like, on the way home, just, uh, whoop. Just, uh, flop one out of me. Wait, have you not seen them? I've never seen your titties. Usually when you just rub, I close my eyes and scream.

Well, that's your own damn fault. It's really funny for me. Okay ready. And my question for you is about making friends and I've listened to your past episodes about taking classes and doing things that you like and then it'll come naturally. My issue that I'm running into is I do take classes and I do go out and it seems like that when I do I give off this flirty personality and then people think that I'm trying to date them or or they want to hit on me, or they ask me out for something more.

And then when I say, oh, I just want to, I'm just looking for some friendship, I want to respect their feelings of, oh, I'm looking to date someone. But it's happening a lot. And if you could give some advice on how to friendzone people prior to them trying to ask you out, that would be great. I hope you two are having a lovely day and I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks. So this nice woman is complaining about men wanting to be with her.

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? So she said, I'm a call into this show

and I'm a hurt a girl's feelings. And hopefully when she hears it, it'll be in front of a bunch of people. And she'll struggle to hear me because the reception's a little off, but I'm gonna say, I'm cute, fun, and flirty. I'm in meh. I shouldn't make fun of her,

but I will not answer her question. I guess I could. Well, I wouldn't know what this is like, because I guess the energy I give off is that I scream. So, no one's getting a flirty vibe over here. Yeah, but dudes hit on you all the time. All the time. All the time. I see it happening daily. No, definitely not daily.

Every single day. It happened today? We were not around men. Did it happen once in Hawaii? Yeah. When? No, I guess not. Don't think-

But we were around a bunch of families. These are bad examples. Did it happen last week? Yeah. I don't think... I don't... I don't know where this perception came from. I don't think people are hitting on me as much as you think. They are. They smile.

Think one time. I can't! I'm on the spot! Look at that. It was really too much pressure. If anything, men flirt with you in front of me and make me feel bad about myself. That's fun. That happens pretty infrequently, too.

But that's how I know if a man actually likes me, if you're dead to him. We were doing a show show and this guy came backstage to maybe bum a cigarette for me or something. And he, like, I was fully talking to you on the couch and he just like boxed me out and was like, hey, Nicole, what's going on? Do you wanna talk?

And I was like, hello, I'm here too. And then on his way out, you were like, all right, bye. And then he went, bye, Nicole. You were like, all right, bye. And then he went, bye, Nicole. Yeah. Oh. I still maintain I could probably get him to leave his wife for me if I tried.

But OK, do you remember when there was a dude who we met his wife, and the wife was like, hi, I'm so and so's wife. And I was like, hi, I'm so and so's wife. And I was like, whoa! It was like a scene out of a fucking movie. She was like, he's mentioned you a lot. And I was like, well, damn. So that happened that one time.

That's actually happened a bunch. Where- I feel like proving my dengoi. But with men who are already taken, not with single men. This is like some guy is really excited about me, talks about me to their significant other, and then I meet that person and they're like, hi, I've heard a lot about you.

And I'm like, I'm sorry. That happened to me one time in my whole life. I had a trainer who I loved and like not like sex love but he was great and I really enjoyed him and we had a great time and I met his girlfriend because he came to a show I was doing and he went to the bathroom and she really was just like okay so we're gonna just talk what the fuck do you do with my boyfriend he's always coming home being like, ha ha ha, and happy. And I was like, um, we're just working out, nothing. I don't know.

And he came back from the bathroom and she was like, getting to know Nicole! And I was like, ah! Whoa. I was like, this woman is a sociopath. That's crazy. And then she ended up, she was cheating on him. That's why she was acting like that.

Oh wow. So then they broke up and I was like, you are better off without her. And he was so sad. And then they got back together and I was like, you're being stompin'. Yeah. But then they broke up again and then Trump won.

And then he was like, y'all are crazy. I'm going back to Sweden or Switzerland or Norway or Amsterdam, Holland, Scotland. That's where he was from. Yeah, I was just taking a tour around Europe. You got there. I did, it took me a minute. I think they're national animals, a unicorn.

Scotland? In that wild. That's true. Yes. They're fun. That is fun. Men wear kilts and they're fucking animals not real. I like it.

I think in Iceland they believe in elves. What? There's like, when I went there, there were like all these books about real elves. And what? It's like that they're, you could find an elf in the wild. What? And I don't know, they have like magic properties.

What? It's just like, what to do when you find an elf? What? What is an elf? So some help Santa, some make the Keebler treats we eat. Some are Will Ferrell. What? Oh that was crazy you just talked about cookies and shit. Yeah you're right okay so there's only three types of elves. What? We just... Well, what other elves are there?

Oh, no, they're in Iceland. Let's go back to where you said my titties were nice. You're nice. Thank you. I think we've come to the end. Yeah, that feels good. Yeah. So... See you later. See you. What's the song that they sing at the end of Barney?

I love you, you love me. These are my friends. We're a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss or a meet to you. Whoa. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And a kiss or a meet to you! Whoa! Hahaha! Someone went, whoa! Someone went, wow! That was really funny.

You look so great! Well, great! Thank you for coming! Thank you! I love you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you! Thank you!