Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer is Hangry… Watch Out!

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

Hey Friends, and it’s a continuation of Black History Month. Nicole shares inventions made by black people. Sasheer shares how she had a perm in her hair for a while. Nicole shares her childhood experience of getting her hair done. Sasheer thinks she’ll continue to be late in celebration of Black History Month while Nicole will continue to talk at full volume in a movie theater. Sasheer is a porch person with a little bit of bike and Nicole is a bike person with a little bit of porch. Sasheer suggests Nicole get massages and she implements that. Nicole shares stories of Sasheer being hangry on their trip to Africa. Nicole recently discovered that she now likes pineapples.  No quiz this week but they answer your questions about falling in love with a best friend and getting back into the dating pool.  Sources:Top 10 Inventions by Black Inventors - https://www.country1071.com/2023/01/30/top-10-inventions-by-black-inventors/ The All-Black League That Invented Hockey As We Know It - https://defector.com/the-all-black-league-that-invented-hockey-as-we-know-it The Kitchen - https://www.essence.com/hair/transitioning/how-manage-transitioning-edges-and-kitchens/#:~:text=For%20those%20of%20you%20unfamiliar,the%20back%20of%20the%20house. Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hi, hi, hi. So I do have some shows coming up on February 23rd through 24th. I'm doing four shows at Stand Up Live in Phoenix, Arizona. So come History Month. We're still in it. We're still in it, y'all. The shortest month of the year, and it's ours. Do you have any more Black History facts? Do you have any more black history facts? Ooh. Let's see. Top 10 inventions by black people. It's a tab that I have open. Oh.

Oh. Why were you looking at that? I can't remember why. Oh, I think I was sharing with somebody else that black people invented hockey. And then we were like, what else did black people invent? And then I was looking it up. So you better believe the mailbox, the traffic light. So communication, stopping and going.

The automatic shift gear, the clothing dryer, automatic elevator doors, the folding chair, a furnace, the modern toilet, home security systems. And I believe a black woman invented the sanitary napkin. Yes, that's all true. Yeah. Wow. We'd be doing. I think I did see a video on the woman who invented the home security system. It's because she was living

in a dangerous area and was worried and was like uh i think i could figure this out like figuring out a whole like video system on how to like film outside the home and then i guess like a alarm system too just because out of a need. I love that. She was like, these people, I'm going to catch them. I'm going to catch them and I'm going to figure out the fuck how. I love it. I like it. Yeah.

That's great. Also, this lady, Madam CJ Walker, she's the first, I think she's the first black millionaire because she invented hair stuff. Yeah. You know, general hair stuff stuff was it relaxers i think it might have been relaxers um the creamy crack uh i you relaxed your hair for a little bit right yeah from third grade to 19 years old i think mine was a later, but I have such a sensitive head and, ooh, it would burn and it would be so itchy. And then I would scab right up and it was, oh, it was so painful.

Oh, she also invented the hot comb. Oh, she also hated the hot comb i remember sundays before going to church my mom would hot comb my hair and my hair would be sizzling and it was funny because when like my white friends would like get like their parents would do their hair it wasn't in the kitchen and i was like wait not everyone does their hair in the kitchen yeah i think there just more room in the kitchen. And also the stove, if you have your hot comb on the stove. The stove for the hot comb, yes. And then washing your hair while you're on the counter, head leaned into the sink. Yep.

A makeshift beauty salon right in the kitchen. In the kitchen. That's very funny. I used to hate having my mom wash my hair when I wasn't getting a bath at the same time. Where it was like, oh, hop on this countertop, little fatty. Lean your head back. Close your eyes. And my mom would get soap or shampoo in my eye and then tell me I was fine.

And I would be like, ma'am? What? I'm not fine. You're drowning me. And then she would burn me and then tell me I wasn't burned. She would be like, that's just steam or that's just the smoke. And I'm like, no, that was my ear sizzling, ma'am. Yeah.

I was like, you see what you're doing. You're hurting me. No, but it's your fault. It is your fault. You didn't move your ear in time what don't come at me with it so oh god it was so hot too yeah oh why do you think they call the like nape of your neck that hair there the kitchen kitchen yeah i think it's because sometimes things get burned up and crunchy in the kitchen and then you're sweating back there and it gets all crunchy maybe i don't

know judith can you look it up because what gets crunchy in the actual kitchen oh say you frying the grease gets too hot and gets all crunchy. Yeah, the term kitchen is used to describe the shorter hairs located on the back of one's neck. But why? There are many explanations for this term's origin. Since the hair is located in the back of the neck, hairstyling usually took place in the kitchen. It just stuck hmm

no it may derive from Scott's a twist of rope or kink I don't know I think it's just like sometimes googling be hard and you're like just give me what I need

you sent me a video where it was a man going white slang and black slang black slang is just white slang backwards yeah or the opposite yeah that made me laugh so hard it was like you don't want a piece of me and it was like uh i'm the one you want uh it was just like a bunch of different things that were funny to me uh what's uh or what was it there was an up and down one what's up and i'm down yeah or no i think that was it oh yeah okay yeah it was like what's up i'm down um i can't remember any of the other ones wow damn oh it seems like google doesn't know and google was like i'll never figure it out you'll just google this forever tell us google google please um is there anything that you're going to do this month to celebrate being a black person? You know, I don't often think about it like that.

What should I do? What do you do? Do you do anything to celebrate being a black person? No. And I was wondering if you did. And then I was like, oh, I'll just jump on your celebration. You know, I'll probably just continue to be late to things. And I'll continue speaking during movies at full volume in a theater.

Yeah, I don't really do anything to celebrate black history month and i feel like i should i mean we have a whole month and you know people complain but it is the shortest month but i'm like i don't want to be responsible for 30 days responsible what do you mean what do you what are you already responsible for so much this year just there's so much on my plate and on my shoulders and i like that it's only 28 days you know it's hard to be proud for 30. we need a break we've been working hard enough so fucking hard hmm maybe i'll have a black history month party and i'll ask everyone to dress up like their favorite Black people from history. Why are you trying to set up your friends like this? You're trying to get someone canceled.

I'll invite my allies and I'll say, you can do this however you want. Open interpretation. I can't wait to see what you come up with. I do think the Black History Month of Nailed It is one of my crowning achievements. I had so much fun because I got to actually EP that episode and pick out all the stuff. And I think people were worried about how it would turn out. And I thought it was really fun. Yeah, because it was like the Tuskegee Airmen. That I couldn't say.

Yes. Yeah, because it was like the Tuskegee Airmen. That I couldn't say. Yes. There was the first, somebody Chisholm? Shirley Chisholm. Yes, yes, yes. And then I think a runner.

Oh, man. I did such a good job that I can't remember what happens in the episode. Was it Flojo? No, it wasn't flojo who you know i like that shikari what's her name that fast girl yeah i like that she's kind of picking up where she left off with like the nails and the the weeds and the wig like i love it yes get dressed up to run bitch nobody can see it you too fast you too fast but i feel like in one race she like just straight up ripped her weave off or something didn't she it was quite dramatic i liked it i liked that too i found this speed skater who she's a black woman who trained for four months and then won the

olympic gold medal and she was like yeah i was just roller skating and then i the Olympic gold medal. And she was like, yeah, I was just roller skating. And then I was like, better try ice skating. And then I was like, wait, I could qualify for the Olympics? And then I kind of did. And the way she describes it, I was like, yeah, cool. I wish things were that easy for me. I just decide one day to try something and I'm amazing at it. I don't have that experience. I wish I did.

We should look her up because maybe uh she there might be more to the story like maybe she was already like super athletic and something else i mean it says she was a roller skater i think she was a speed speed like roller skater okay and in the video it didn't look like roller derby it looked like a like a like a roller skating rink that she was going around fast and then she was like, yeah. Decided to put on skates. And I was like, this is a little hard. And then I trained and went to the Olympics.

Like, who does? What? That's astounding to me. Because ice skating is hard. And it's not like roller skates is an easy. It's not like a direct transition to blades on your feet. That is very different. Whoa different whoa yeah isn't that wild have you are you an ice skater do you ice skate no i've only done it for like a handful of birthday

parties in middle school would you want to try ice skating with me wow that seems like a no with me wow that seems like a no um there wasn't even a hint of a smile your eyes kind of went dark uh you looked at nothing and no sound came out and i know the answer i yeah i really felt it in my heart i was like wow this is not something she'll try with me um yeah yeah there's nothing in me that wants to try ice skating fair and i've asked you to do a lot of things and i tried most of them you've tried so many of them um yeah i'm really i'm proud of you for being like no i don't i don't think this is something i would like to do but then you do it and it's not that bad. Yeah. Thank you. I think a lot about Victoria Falls where...

And I'm glad I'm so close to you because I get to see your in peril face and people don't see that often or at all really, I don't think. don't see that often or at all really I don't think but it is it's and it sounds mean for me to be like I get to see her in trouble and I like it but I really like when you try new things I don't know why it brings me such joy because I guess it's it how do I articulate it I guess it means a lot that you're willing to do something that you're unsure of. And then when you're like in peril, you're like, I will complete this. I won't give up because we're doing it. Like when we were in Hawaii and I was like, let's go down this water slide. Your face did the same thing it did with ice skating, where it was like kind of just, hmm. But then you did it. And then you went down a second time and we had a good time.

And then you said, that's enough for me. And that was enough for me. I'm glad my efforts don't go unnoticed no they really do go noticed and noted and i'm trying to think if there if i don't do you have a similar thing with me does me doing anything elicit joy does me doing anything anything elicit joy? Mm-mm. Does me doing anything elicit joy? I mean, you bring me a lot of joy. I guess I don't have, like, requests of you of, like, things to do. Because I'm, like, very, like like comfy cozy and i'm just fine not doing adventures um or there aren't adventures that like you haven't done that i have proposed

i don't think. Do you consider yourself a porch person? I don't know what that means. Okay. So I had these twins on Why Won't You Date Me who are on Drag Race, Sugar and Spice. And they go, are you a porch person or a bike person? A porch person is someone who likes to sit and not like, they're not like looking for adventure. And a bike person is someone who's looking for adventure. I think I'm a bike person with a little bit of porch oh I think I'm a porch person with a little bit of bike yeah and I think that works together pretty

well um I have I mean a thing you've made me do or not made me do but you've softly suggested like, I'm going to do this and you should too, is massages and I'm getting better at them. Yeah. People touching me is like, I'm not here for it. But sometimes I do feel so much better after. Yeah. Okay. I like that. Yeah. You've made me that yeah you've made me massage you've made me massage you made me get massages or not made um i've suggested it um i'll never forget i don't know

if we talked about this in africa when we went on we went on this boat that was like a boat a night boat cruise or whatever around this river and we were told that there was going to be dinner and to me i was like this is peak sashir on the water not in the water eating good food and then the food wasn't good and my friend was irate so mad yeah you were babbling at one point about jokes because we made friends on this river but did we talk about the riverboat i don't think we did yeah we made friends with a lady who looked like miss trunchbull and then uh like a millennial dressed in forever 21 who was cute and traveled a lot and we were taking pictures and throughout our trip I kept uh doing that thing where it's like in the picture you're squishing something

or like you're like picking up the Eiffel Tower or whatever I think people know what I'm talking about and I did it for one of the pictures and so she was like yeah it's a thing we do it's a joke and at that point everyone knew what I was doing. And Miss Trunchbull and the Forever 21 lady had both turned around and walked away from Sashir. And she was like walking, being like, yeah, it's a joke that we do. And it's funny. I was like, my friend has to get food.

My friend needs something. And then, Sashir, I couldn't believe it. You wanted, I believe, I can't remember what your first order was for your drink. Oh, it's like a ginger beer? You ended up getting a ginger beer, but you looked at the menu and you were like, I would like this. And you pointed to something and the lady took the menu and went, oh, we don't have that anymore. You looked this woman dead in to something and the lady took the menu and went, oh, we don't have

that anymore. You look this woman dead in the eyes and said, you don't have my first option. You're taking the menu away. I need to decide on my second option that you do have. And I was like, somebody get her food. She's turned. You're not a friend. She's no one safe. I couldn't believe it. I was like, it was another fun thing about you is if you're hungry, you're, you're literally the Snickers commercial. You're not yourself. Like you are slightly mean, a little sassy.

And like, you're telling everybody like you're telling everybody about themselves. And then when you enter an airport, you're a fully different person. I don't think we talked about this. There's so much we didn't talk about. We had COVID. We were like, we went to a trip. But we were getting on. Wait, was this? No, this wasn't Africa.

We went to New York, and we were boarding and we were in delta one we're delta diamond divas it's a lovely place to be and there was a tall white man who was in front of us and he kind of looked like the tall alien uh from men in black who hung out with the smaller one with the alien in his brain anyway i just need everyone to have a good visual of this man he's tall white and bald and sashir pushes past him and turns around and goes excuse me my friend is getting on board too and i was like oh uh yeah yes and then this man goes i'm getting on board too i'm delta one and then showed us his boarding pass and then Sashir was like oh turned back into normal Sashir was like oh my god I'm so sorry and then the man goes yeah god forbid you guys are separated for a second and I turned around I was like yeah I might have a secret I want to tell her

and then he was not amused by that and then Sashir goes down a separate row because we're not even sitting next to each other we're in she's in the back and I'm in the fucking front. And then this man is on the same side as me and there wasn't room over my seat. So I walked ahead a little bit, put my luggage in the overhead bin and turned around. He was right behind me. And I went, I'm so sorry. I have to get past you. And he went, of course you do.

And he was so mad at me. And I was like, you hate me and I'm sorry. And then he didn't say anything to me so your insanity made you made me an enemy god it was so funny and also I cannot describe it I can only show it the way she rolls her suitcase is also pretty funny um and her head is held up high and your neck sticks out a little bit and you're like ready to get to the bottom of something and it's it's really incredible to watch also on that trip back um i said out loud you're a different person when we get into the airport and not two minutes later we're in the airport and sashir kicks an empty water bottle

at a pregnant woman it was an accident i wasn't trying to kick it at her i know i was trying to save the whole airport because there was a loose bottle spinning in the middle of the walkway so i was like i'm gonna be a hero i'm gonna kick this bottle to the side over where the trash cans are i didn't know my force was so hard that the bottle ricocheted off of the column and made the bottle land directly in front of her this pregnant lady was walking and she truly was like, what the fuck? And I started laughing so hard. The best part was I understood what you were doing. I understood because someone had kicked it to you because they didn't see it. And they like shuffled it over to you. And I understood that you were trying to kick it out of the way. But the way you kicked it was like you were

like on the national women's soccer team, you planted a foot, all of your weight went into that foot. Your other leg went so far behind you. And then you kicked, like you launched it at this woman. And I, and then you kicked it a second time when it ricocheted off and we got closer to it. And I, I think I literally time when it ricocheted off. And we got closer to it.

And I think I literally said, you have to leave it. You simply cannot keep doing this. I was like, all right, this time I'm going to get it. I see the mistake I made. This time I'm going to be able to kick it where it belongs. It made me laugh so hard also on planes you're a different person we went on the way to africa i don't think i've ever told you this but i i was watching blue beetle which is an incredible movie george lopez is a star

and i don't know if anyone knows this but watch Blue Beetle it's a great movie George Lopez is he's you guys he's on to something anyway you the lady came to take your tray and you had one bite left and you went no I'm not done and I was I looked at your tray and I was like she is done and then you like pushed your food around and then when they came to get your tray, you didn't move your phone from over the tray. So this lady had to like scoop the tray away from you. And I was like, she was done. And why isn't she making this easier for this woman?

I was like, what is happening? I couldn't believe, I was like, what? Why? And it made me laugh so hard. And I didn't know how to articulate it to you in the moment. Like, what are you doing? You were also like half reclined. Like nothing was easy for this woman to get this tray. Wait, what do you mean? My phone was on the tray. So you were holding your phone over the tray. And when she was like, are you done? You said yes. It was in the air.

And didn't, yes, it was in the air over the tray. And when you said,, are you done? You said yes. And yes, it was in the air over the tray. And when you said, yes, I'm done, you didn't move the phone to be like, here's full access to the tray. You were like, I dare you try to get it. And this lady was like, all right, I guess that's my job for the next minute and a half. And she was like, struggling. And you were just like on the and i was like what it was very funny i i don't think so i don't believe this oh oh okay you don't believe this i can't wait to be fly again i'm i'll remember nothing i won't remember what i had for breakfast yesterday i won't remember to to get anywhere on time i'll forget

everything but i will remember to film this i will remember to look for this and film this and show you because it happened i'm very helpful to people who are taking things away from me. I'm like, I even pass it to people sometimes. Sometimes you do, and sometimes you fall asleep. And then I have to tell them, oh, I think she's done. That's not my fault. It's her body. I don't think she'll wake up and want that sliver of crumb cake.

Yeah, usually if I'm asleep, it means i'm done the kitchen's closed we're done closed um and then once i i told the flight attendant i think we've talked about this but it just makes me laugh i was you sent me a protein bar or something because i was hungry because again we were not sitting near each other and didn't even try to we were sitting across so far away and you sent you're like and then the flight was like your sister said you might want this and I was like I have a sister and then you were waving at me and I was like that's my sister and then you had fallen asleep and then I told the flight attendant I was like please wake my sister up for meal service she'll be really angry if you don't and then I thought about it I was like why did i say it like that i didn't have to say the last part that you'll be

angry she'll be really angry she'll be so upset if she misses her meal she'll just wake up disoriented and angry why did anyone wake me but here's the thing I've been on flights with you or heard you've missed meal service and you're upset. You're like, I woke up and we landed and no one woke me up for food. Yeah, I think someone studied you and came up with that Snickers campaign. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess so. I guess I'm not myself.

It's very funny. Because when I get hungry, I just get like, I don't think I get irritable. I just think I get like listless and sad. And I'm like, I don't know what's happening. I feel weak. Oh, I simply can't make a choice. And then we'll eat food. I'll be like, oh, that was it.

I was hungry. Look at that. I was describing New Orleans to someone about when we were there for my special taping. when we were there for my special taping and you and another friend were coming after the group to a restaurant for breakfast. And maybe it was like six of us and then you and the friend were coming later. And the waiter was like,

I have a whole like spiel to give about the menu and the restaurant. So we'll have to wait for your other two people in the party to get here before I can start. And I was like, well, can we order? Do we need to hear the spiel in order for us to order? And he's like, yes. And I was like, oh, well, we don't know when the other two friends are coming. They may not even get anything.

You can just do the spiel now, and then they'll order when they get here. And he's like, can I have a full party in order to do the spiel? And I was like, oh, so this is for you. Did you say that out loud? I did say that out loud. See, you tell people about themselves when you're hungry. Oh, so this is for you. No, ma'am, it's for you.

I want to tell you what's on the menu. But like everyone thinks their spiel is different. I have been to restaurants. I know how restaurants work. I have the menu in front of me. I don't know what is going to be different after you are done speaking. I'm going to tell you exactly what I want. And then he like hustled over and he's like okay what would you like imagine you went to a restaurant and they were

like have you ever been here before and you're like no and instead of just describing a normal restaurant they were like a murder will take place and you have to solve it and that happens in the middle of your appetizer and if you don't solve it by dessert, you can't leave. You're arrested because you're an accomplice. I'm like, this is different. Because I feel like every rest, like even Red Lobster, they're like, have you been here before? And you're like, if you go, no, they're like, well, we serve lobsters. And you can order off the menu or off the menu. And you're like, well, we serve lobsters and you can order off the menu or off the menu.

And you're like, what? This is the same as every restaurant. I could figure it out. I think I just want to order the food that I see in front of me. Yeah, that's all I want to do. And oh my goodness, I don't like when they have specials because i'm like you made the server memorize this yeah why and i'm also a visual person so if you just say it to me if you said four specials to me my brain is not gonna remember what all of them are maybe i thought one of them was good but now

i wasn't listening to the last two. And I'm like, oh. And then you walk away, and I'm like, well, what were the specials? Yes. Did I want them? And now I don't have the option of reading it over and over again in front of me. And I just don't understand why more restaurants don't have a board that they change, and they bring it with them to the table, and I can sit and peruse the board and the menu. Yeah.

Or have it on a wall or something. Yeah. You know, that would be helpful for all of us visual learners. Yeah. Jordan went away and I had a question. She was drinking a liquid that looked just like Windex. And I know she wasn't drinking Windex, but it really rocked my world. And I was like, I simply can't keep talking until we address it.

But now she's gone. Maybe because she's throwing up because she really was drinking Windex. But maybe it was an accident and she didn't know. And she's like, oh, no, now I'm sick. Oh, that would be so devastating to be like, yum, yum, yum. I'm going to drink my blue drink. And then, oh, no, now I'm sick. Oh, no.

I don't know when I discovered Kool-Aid where the sugar was mixed in it and I could just make a glass of Kool-Aid. But that for a while was how I got my water intake. Isn't that terrible that then you did not get a water intake? Well, the base is water. I mean, so is the base is water and a soda too. Huh. What? There's water and a soda, too. Huh. What? There's water and soda.

I. And coffee. But that doesn't mean that you're. These are water intakes. A Coke freestyle machine now makes sense. We're adding syrups to bubbly water. Yeah. Wow.

Whoa. Okay. Wait, Jordan. Jordanordan's back what were you drinking it looks like windex and i know you're not drinking windex can you imagine or are you um no so this is uh there's mio in the water and it has electrolytes and b vitamins so it helps if, like, some of the medicine I'm on, it can make me a little bit nauseous. And so having that extra hydration helps. Okay, okay. Yeah, it is not Windex. It does look like it, though. It does.

It really does. Thank you for explaining it. I got lost in water, water TikTok on my Instagram. It is a, it's a thing. People like they, they're like zero sugar packets of like flavor and they'll mix the flavors together. And this one man like layers the flavors and then you could see the distinction of colors and then he stirs it all up and then he's like, oh, it's so good. It's hints of cotton candy with a touch of pineapple. And I was like, oh.

And I recently mentioned to someone, I was like, I'm really into like flavored waters. And like, what's your favorite flavor? And I didn't know how to be like watching people. Watching people make flavored waters is what I meant. Not that I drink flavored water. I like watching people make flavored water. Never in my life have I made a flavored water, but boy, I have watched a lot. Interesting.

Yeah. I wonder if there could be like a flavored water bar or something. Whoa. You know, bars should offer things like that in like the mocktail category. Like I think that would be a nice alternative because most mocktails are so sugary. Yeah, definitely.

Or it's just like, yeah, a cocktail minus the booze, but it can also just be a pretty flavored water. Yeah, a zero sugar Skittles water pack that you can charge people $10 for because there's a garnish. And then you can have like a water tender. A water tender! Gourmet water bars?

Oh, it does exist. Oh my goodness. The Aqua Water Bar by Luquel is a destination for hydration in Dubai. Yeah, Dubai seems wild. They're doing everything. They are. Should we go to Dubai one day? Sure. I don't know what's there, but sure. I don't know what's there but um sure i don't know what's there either um you have to pick where we go for new year's this year oh yeah so it's around the corner so you better get on it it's coming up tick tick tick tick tock um i do think our africa trip was well planned and fun but like what if we started even like earlier earlier than three weeks before we leave what seems crazy yeah I said it and I was like what

am I doing I like I like how on the fly we are is that a phrase yeah on the fly yeah it feels like we're living by the seat of our bottoms. Yeah. Where's the adrenaline rush if we know where we're going? We're going months in advance. Ew. I have learned. I think part of the vacation I like, and this is just in general, is like getting to a destination, getting a feel for the destination and being like, what can I do with this destination?

And then planning. Yeah. Because you don't have a feel for it. And if I like plan things in advance, what if I get there and I'm like, oh, no, this destination is not for what I planned. Mm hmm. You know. It's a sheer i like a new thing so on top of being a soup girl i now like pineapple i actually didn't know you didn't like pineapple. Interesting. Hate pineapple. Love pineapple now. Oh, what changed? When I was in Hawaii,

I had a beautiful piece of pineapple and I was like, wait, this is how it could taste? I just don't think I like old pineapple or pineapple that sits in its own juice for too long because it's just too juicy. This pineapple I had like not a crunch to it but like a like a crispness and then the juice exploded in my mouth and it wasn't like wet already

and I was like oh my god I need more of them it was so good oh my god yeah fruit in other places where fruit actually grows is really good. Mmm, yum, yum. I had some delicious strawberries. Have you had any recent things where you're like, I don't like this? I love it. I don't know if this is recent, but grapefruit. I really didn't like grapefruit when I was younger. And now I kind of like it.

Interesting. I think it's too tart. It's very tart. Yeah. But I think like I'll take like a grapefruit drink. I don't know if I've had a grapefruit to eat like like a slice anytime recently. But I've been surprised by grapefruit drinks.

Mmm. Okay. Yeah. Not a grapefruit drinks. Mmm, okay. Yeah, not a grapefruit girl. I don't like it. I wish I liked oranges, but I don't like the little veins. Yeah. Those gross me the fuck out. But I can put an orange in my mouth,

chow down, and squeeze all the juice out, but then I have, like, what's left, and that's gross to like spit out yeah i have seen people clean a an orange peel like eat the orange clean off the peel and i'm like what did you do what like what did did you just eat the other stuff you chewed it all up your teeth are so strong you could chew it all up? And then swallow it? Because I feel like I have a wad of, like, gauze in my mouth. And then what do I do with it? I spit it out and put it in the trash, I guess.

But there are people who just eat it. And they swallow it. I don't understand it. It's not for me. But I do, I love freshly squeezed orange juice. But to get a glass of orange juice from an actual real orange, you're only getting a thimble. Oh, yeah. I had like five oranges from my little orange bush in my yard and I got half a glass. That's crazy. I know. It was tasty, but I was like half a glass. That's crazy. I know.

It was tasty, but I was like, I mean, that's that. I guess. Are seedless grapes genetically modified? I want to say yes, but also maybe there's,

maybe there's a strand that has no seeds, but I feel like they did something. A little something to them? They did something to them. Because I forgot grapes had seeds until recently when we were in the Seychelles and we were eating grapes with seeds. And I was like, wait, what? Oh, seedless grapes are not genetically modified. They occur naturally and have existed for 2,000 plus years. Oh.

Great. Okay, good. Thank goodness. Mm-hmm. I would love to have a grape tree. Do grapes grow on trees? Yes. Vines.

Yes, vines. I love grapes. Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. There was a time where I was getting grapes every week, and I was going through them. Really? Mm-hmm. I don't know if I've ever gone through a whole bag of grapes because they are so big.

Yes, they are big, and the trick I felt like to get through them is to divine them. Take them off their little branches and then put them in a Tupperware or a bowl and keep them out. And every time you pass them, you munch. Oh, that is smart. The vines are intimidating.

Cause it's like, I had to finish this whole bunch. Yes. But when it's just in a bowl, it's like a bowl of like M&Ms except not chocolate and doesn't have a candy coated shell. And, and they're different

and they're different but yeah a little like healthier yeah i like that and i love me some red grapes i'm not a green grape head. Yeah. They also have pink grapes. But they're like sweet. Are they the cotton candy grapes that you find at Gelson's? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aren't those crazy? So sweet.

Insane. So sweet. Should we answer some questions? I would love to. Yes. How are we going to help people today? Okay. Falling in love with the best. Hey, Nicole, Sashira, Judith, Kimmy, Jordan I love you all and this question has been weighing on me for months I have a friend in my life for nearing

20 years we know everything about each other and have only gotten closer over time over the last year our conversations have gotten very personal and intimate. And oops, I fell in love. My friends and even my mom have caught me talking about my friend and asking why I don't date him. Honestly, nothing would make me happier. His hug alone makes me feel the warmth and love like I've never felt before. During a nice night hanging out, but have not spoken about it since. I would honestly wait for him. He's the most perfect person I've ever met and one of the few people in the world that make me feel special. What do I do?

Okay, I just started watching Dawson's Creek. Have you watched it? I don't want to wait for our lives to be over. No, I've never seen it. I just finished the first season and it is this. It is Katie Holmes is in love with James Van Der Beek

and like they are like 15 years old. They're starting to mature. They're starting to like get a little horny. Get a little love feeling. They've been friends since they were like six years old or whatever since they were young. And then Katie's like oh my god

I'm realizing I'm in love with my best friend. And Dawson's like Dawson's a dumb boy. And he's like what just this dumb girl down the creek? No, it's just Joey. She's one of the guys. He has no fucking clue. And everyone around them is like,

the tension between you is crazy. Can you not see this? And Dawson's like, what are you talking about? It's just Katie Holmes. And then by the end of the season, she does a beauty pageant, starts looking pretty. And he's like, oh, wait, my best friend has looked like that the whole time. I think maybe I'm in love. And she's like, but I don't want it like that, Dawson. I don't want you to come out. I don't want you to all of a sudden like me because I was pretty for two seconds.

I need you to love me for who I am. And it's like complicated. And this probably goes on for like seven seasons. I'm only on the first season, but I'm sure this keeps happening. And there were moments like this where one of them professes their love and then they have to reel it back in because they don't want to ruin their friendship. So anyway, I think he's really brave of you. But you have even brought this up to your friend because it's a risk. And Jordan just said we should do a Dawson recap.

I would love to. I guess I got to watch it. You got to get into it. It's dramatic. I am gasping all the time. These people are straight up punching each other in the face. Katie Holmes was a full superhero in one episode and just beat up three football players. Three football players?

Yes, because they were just being rude and she just like, like kneed one of them in the crotch. Like, like used her lunch tray to smack the other one in the face and then a hauled ass and like punched the other one in the face and knocked them out and then got suspended or not suspended she went to detention and there was like a whole breakfast club episode just detention she only got detention and not expelled for annihilating three people with a lunch tray. Also, there's a full on teacher student relationship happening with Joshua Jackson. That's why I was not allowed to watch it. My mom didn't like that, but we watched Ally McBeal.

Like, it just didn't make sense. She was like, I don't like it. You can't watch it. And I get it. The whole time I was like, is, why is this allowed? Like, why? I don't like it. You can't watch it. And I get it. The whole time I was like, why is this allowed? Like, I don't know what year this came out. But even then, I feel like this was still crazy. Anyway, for the person who read it.

Good on you for saying something. Because you don't want to just like hold this in and like because you never know maybe they're feeling the same way maybe something could happen and his response was what he's not in a place to be in a relationship that is a no that's a straight up no because whether you're quote unquote in a place or not, if you do like the other person, you would just say I like you too. Yeah. So I don't think you should wait. No.

For our lives to be over. I don't think you should wait for this person. It seems like they made it clear, which sucks. Yeah. But they can still be a good friend. If you think you can still be friends with this person, I guess go for it. But just know there is a big chance that it may not turn into something. Mm-hmm.

Also, crazy things happen in Dawson's Creek. I'm sure there's a moment where they're going to date. But I don't think you should hold out hope for that. Because this is reality and not a TV show. Unless they're like Truman Show. They're like on the Truman Show and it is TV. No, I agree. I do think if you expressed love, like you're like, I really like you

and I like want to do something. And they're like, I feel the same way, but I'm not, I don't want to be in a relationship. But then you're like, oh, that's not a real answer. It is a real answer. It does suck. It has happened countless times to me where someone's like, I don't want to be in a relationship. And then I wait around hoping that they would change their minds and then their minds don't change.

And then they date somebody else right after me and get married because they did want to be in a relationship. They just didn't want to be in one with me. And that is painful. But it is you want to date someone who's excited to date you like you want the best case scenario would have been you told this person how you feel and they said I feel the exact same way I would like you to be like let's just start let's start let's start dating um but since that didn't happen I do think you should not put all your eggs in that basket because there's a hole in it and your eggs are going to splatter and you're not put all your eggs in that basket because there's a hole in it

and your eggs are going to splatter and you're not going to be able to make breakfast. I do think you can, if you're able to, hold this person close to you because they seem like they're a good friend to you. And if you're not, you can take some space, you know, maybe don't hang out as often, but like try to put yourself out there to see other people and you might be putting this person up on a pedestal that they don't deserve but also stranger things

have happened maybe in like a year they're like I want you but then maybe you're dating somebody else but I think live your life with the understanding that this may not happen at all. Yeah, because people date when they're not in a good place all the time. All the time. I've dated many a people who need years of therapy before they get into a relationship.

And I'm like, it's okay. We'll be fine. Nobody's fine. Nobody's fine nobody's fine but yeah it's like if they wanted to date they date you they would just date you it doesn't matter where they are in their life like people date who they want to date regardless of like if they're ready or not yeah I was not stable in my early 20s and I was out there in those streets not good for anybody but I was like come on um yeah live your life don't yeah get your eggs out of that basket solved solved okay hi Nicole and Sashir first I want to say that I love your podcast so much. It always makes me tee-hee-hee, and your friendship is truly inspiring.

Also, I want to thank Nicole for her swimsuit line. I've been wearing one-pieces since after high school. I've been wearing one-pieces since after high school. I'm a fatty, and I've been loving the one-piece with cutouts from Kitty and Vibe. I'm still not ready for a bikini, but I'm one step closer thanks to Nicole. Listen, wait. You don't have still not ready for a bikini, but I'm one step closer thanks to Nicole. Listen. Wait. You don't have to be ready

for a bikini. One piece with the cutout is brave. You're brave. You are brave. This is less of a friendship question and more of a dating question, but I'm hoping you all can help.

I'm a 36-year-old widow living in Milwaukee. My husband died four years ago, and I'm starting to all can help. I'm a 36-year-old widow living in Milwaukee. My husband died four years ago, and I'm starting to think about dating again, but I don't know where to start. I have never used dating apps, and I'm dreading it, but I think I'm going to have to since I'm not going out and meeting people like I was in my 20s, and all my friends have families, so it's hard to meet people through them. Also, I've lost my confidence in my attractiveness since my husband died. Nicole, with your dating app experience, are there any that you liked or disliked more than others?

Are there any that seem more fat friendly? Do you have tips for my profile as far as picks and content? How, when I should bring up I'm a widow? Any advice words of encouragement that would be really helpful I don't know how all this works and it's very overwhelming oh boy I don't I don't like the apps and I I this year got rid of my apps uh I mean I still have them I open them I don't use them but I have connected with some single friends and have planned like single friend nights where we like go to a bar and like we push ourselves to talk to people. Also, I think a class might be helpful, maybe like a cooking class. I feel like that's where you can, you know, find, you know, like like minded people and a mixture of different, you know, gender expression people. I don't unfortunately, I don't really think any app is like fat friendly. I know there's like Woo Plus.

That's like a fat friendly one um there's like a couple but i'm not on them uh hmm but i don't think people are gonna contact you unless they're attracted to you uh yeah i don't know i i'm've not had, I'm not having a great time lately. So this is, this is hard for me. I do like your idea of the single friend hangs out and about. That sounds actually fun. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And like. And if you. Sorry. Oh, just that like this person commented like i don't go out like i did in my 20s why not i mean you don't have to do it like you did in your 20s but like you can go out and go with a group and even if it's like you know you can also go with like no expectations it doesn't have to be like i have to meet my boyfriend or my husband in this bar or like, I have to like make sure I get someone's number or take someone home. It could just be like, I'm a flirt and just see what happens. Like, or I'm just going to talk to people and see what happens. Who knows? Like,

it can just be fun to like meet new people. And even if you meet new friends, they can maybe introduce you to their friends. And who knows? Like if you already know who's in your friend group and they're all married and have kids, make new friends. Maybe they have access to people who are single and your age and like ready to mingle. And okay. I just thought of this. If there's like a local bar near you that's like cool and hip and people your age hang out, you can start going alone as well, which is a little intimidating. But also you could bring Uno with you. And if there's another person alone, you could play Uno and become the Uno lady. The Uno lady.

That's really funny. She's always here playing Uno. She becomes a savant. She becomes like the best Uno player in town. And people are just coming to watch. They're like, I don't know what the Uno lady is up to, but it's great. Oh, and then the confidence thing. I think you're beautiful.

I think everyone is beautiful in their own ways. And everyone's ugly to everybody. Or, you know, somebody's ugly to somebody. Someone's beautiful to somebody. So, like, don't. I'm ugly to everyone? Sorry, Sashir. I hate to tell you this, but everyone has been talking and they're like, you ugly.

Everyone. Everyone. Well, you know, not everyone is attracted to everyone. And there is someone in this world who thinks you're ugly this year. Isn't that terrible to think about? I hate this. But I think you got to put on something that makes you feel good. And when you like look in the mirror and practice saying, I look good.

I look really good today. And like flap your fat arms and go, this is my fat. This is beautiful. I am beautiful. And if you say things enough, you like will believe it. I didn't like my arms for a really long time. And then I started wearing sleeveless shirts because I was like, what am I doing with this like cap sleeve? Like people can see the fat under the sleeve. And then I started wearing likeess shirts because I was like, what am I doing with this like cap sleeve? Like people can see the fat under the sleeve. And then I started wearing like belly shirts because I was like, people know that there's a fat belly under here. So like, why not see a little sneak peek? And I got tattoos and why not show it off?

And then I like really grew to like what I saw in the mirror. And I was like, I don't think my body is here for anybody else's consumption sure we're out in the world and people have eyes and they look around but like I'm dressing to please myself and I am presenting myself the way I would like know, like I just so if I'm not feeling super confident, I'll put on lashes. I'll put on a little blush like I'll I'll be like, oh, my God, she's a stunner. I'll do my hair differently. I I'll wear like like I went out to dinner and I wore my fur coat and a matching set and I looked insane and people were staring at me but I was like I wanted a little attention and I think I look fabulous and also it was hot and I didn't need the fur coat so that was pretty upsetting but

but people are paying attention. They were looking. They were like, ma'am, are you overheating? And then I asked for all the heat lamps to be turned off where we were sitting. What I'm saying is make an entrance, okay? Yeah. I also have no idea if this is helpful in regards to being a widow, but I wonder if like having some sort of like physical change, like a haircut or a new outfit would be helpful to like make it feel like this is a new chapter or like a new era I don't actually know but um something that makes it like feel intentional like uh these are my date clothes you know or these are my like going out clothes looking for a person clothes because maybe some stuff is

reminding you of your husband or like maybe you're, I can't wear this shirt out because it feels like this is what I wore when we did X, Y, and Z. And that's okay. You can keep the shirt. But maybe we get a new shirt that feels like, okay, this is the shirt I wear for this chapter, this new chapter.

Old chapter's still here. But also, we're doing new things too because we want to invite newness into our life right now that's what it sounds like you want to do so I wonder if that would help make it feel like that's what's happening yes and also I think you should be kind to yourself don't push yourself too hard be gentle be kind and honestly i don't think you need to tell anyone that you are a widow unless specifically asked like oh why did your last relationship end which i think is a weird question and i don't love it uh but then you could just be like oh it ended because uh he left the earth um or you can say it with a little bit more tact. Yeah, I guess whatever

makes you feel comfortable. But yeah, you're dating. You are getting to know someone. This is a part of your life. This is something that is a part of your story. So it's also okay. I don't think you have to avoid it because it's just a true fact and I think everyone is going to go through loss at some point in time so I don't think it's something that should be like scary or like I don't think you're going to scare people off because either they have also experienced loss or they will but if this is someone who's actually going to be in your life, they also need to understand that this is something that is a part of your story. And that's okay. Also, look up widowed speed dating.

So everyone there is starting on the same page. Or like widowed events, like widowed dating events. Because I know where we live, where we live in LA, like I have friends who are going to more like in-person dating events. And I think there is like a move that's like away from the apps and more in-person stuff. So, yeah, a quick Google to be like, is there any, you know, widowed friend things I could do? Yeah. Jordan also Googled something and said that there are weekly singles meetups in Milwaukee. So.

Ooh. There are things that already exist. That's a thing you can do. Yeah. And then you can like ask a married friend to go with you if all of your friends are married or ask another single friend to go. I believe in you and I think you're going to do it. Yeah.

Yeah. Soft. Yeah. Yeah. Solved. Solved. If you have any questions or queries or whatever, you can email Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com or call or text or leave a voice memo at 424-645-7003. I want to hear about the whatever. We also have merch at podspike.com slash best friends. We have transcripts for our new episodes. You can check them out on our show at podswag.com slash best friends. We have transcripts

for our new episodes. You can check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. Lastly, don't forget, it's Black History Month, so what you can do for us is rate, review, and subscribe. That's the easiest way to support these Black women during this month on

this show. Yes! That's how you can celebrate Black History Month. Yes. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream and so do I that you will rate, review and subscribe. That's how he wanted it to be used. Yep. That was if you read between the lines of that speech, that's what he was talking about. Bye bye. Bye-bye.

Bye.