Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Is Learning Spanish

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

Hey friends. Nicole is pro union. Sasheer breaks down the misconception that all actors are rich in regards to the SAG-AFTRA Strike. Nicole talks about how the strike affects the whole industry. Sasheer and Nicole reminisce on how they got GOT in the industry. Nicole wants a mermaid tail. Sasheer wants to go to Disney if they end up visiting Mertailor’s Mermaid Aquarium. Nicole bought a keyboard and is taking singing lessons. Sasheer’s learning Spanish with Duolingo. Nicole breaks down the characters of Duolingo. No BuzzFeed quiz this week, but they do an IS THIS WEIRD: Cleaning Edition. This was recorded July 17th, 2023. Sources: Duolingo Characters: https://happilyevertravels.com/duolingo-characters-names/ You Poop When You  Die: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/23144-what-happens-when-you-die#:~:text=Your%20muscles%20loosen%20immediately%20after,see%20your%20bone%20structure%20beneath  Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions and  “Is this weird” suggestion at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hi friends, this is Sashir. Do you ever say to yourself, I love hearing Nicole and Sashir talk to each other each week, but I'm dying for more content. Well, you're in luck. I'm coming out with a new standup special where I'll be talking uninterrupted for an hour. This is the first special I produced

and I'm so excited for you to see it. If you want to contribute, it'll be available on the 800 pound gorilla gorilla website and a pay-what-you-can model starting August 15th, and then it'll be free on YouTube starting August 29th. Thanks again for supporting me, Nicole, and our show, but mostly me. Thank you so much. All right. Otherwise, if you two are ready,

we can get started. Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't convinced before. Now I very good all right whenever you're ready i met my mailman today and it was a woman named nicole oh i don't know why i didn't say hello this year like a normal way to start an episode. But I had this information bursting out of me. I'm really glad you delivered it that way. You know, because I just, we don't need to have pleasantries. Get to the meat.

What's going on? You met your mailman. And I want to know what's going on with this person. What's going on with Nicole? She is a woman named Nicole, but goes by Nick. person what's going on she is a woman named nicole but goes by nick and it was funny because i was walking uh this dog i have and clyde my dog and i don't know why i phrased it that way but she stopped me and she said my address and at first i was like how does she know where i live and then i was like oh because she's the male person and has seen me in my house and has delivered things to me and has given me things

and she was like I mean I'm gonna loop around and give you your like envelopes and stuff but I have some packages for you do you want them now and I was like oh sure and then I was like well what's your name and she was like Nicole and I was like no way I'm Nicole and she went like, Nicole. And I was like, no way. I'm Nicole. And she went, what? Well, I know. Because that's what it says on your package. Are you kidding me? Wait, I do know that. I love that she was like, whoa. Oh, yeah, yeah. It says it right here. Right here

on the package for you. I think we're gonna be friends now. Aww. I like that. What if she does that to everybody? She's like, Brian? Oh, no.

My name's Brian. What a funny way to, like, keep the day fun. Just lie. I'm Tony. For no reason. And I'll never know if Nick is lying to me. I hope not.

I hope she didn't start our new relationship on a lie. She wouldn't lie. Nicole's wouldn't lie. Not to another Nicole. I hope not. I would be so sad. Yeah. That's nice.

Pretty excited. I was like, wow, a connection. I love that. That's very nice. I'm just trying to gather connections wherever I can. What were you going to say? Sorry. I guess I've seen my male person, but I don't think we've ever had a conversation.

They just wave and I'm like, thanks for the mail. I don't even say that. I just wave. It would be funny if you screamed at them, thanks for the mail. They're like, yeah, you're welcome. I guess that's my job.

It's what I do. Yeah. The UPS is going on strike. UPS workers. Oh, why? In August. I think because full-time drivers have like benefits and get paid pretty well but part-time people are only making i think a little bit above minimum wage i think i only

casually glanced yeah um and i think the everyone is striking so the uh the part-time people can get more money oh that, that's wonderful. I think. UPS strike could cost U.S. economy billions. Oh, hell yeah. Think of how many packages get delivered every fucking day. That is very, very true. Wow.

Wow, wow, wow. A potential strike against the UPS delivery service by 340,000 workers could lead to a slower delivery time, supply chain disruptions, and higher shipping costs if the company and the Teamsters union don't come to an agreement over pay for part-time workers and cost of living adjustments by August 1st, possibly causing billions of dollars of economic damage. Wow. They know their worth. They do because packages are important.

Sending shit is important. And I mean, I'm all for, I'm for, I'm so pro-union. I'm so pro people getting what they're worth. Because it's like, why are like three people at the top making so much money and then nobody at the bottom who's actually doing the work? I've said it a hundred times. Jeff Bezos has never delivered a package to my door.

Not one time has he done that. And that's a lot of work. Yeah. I haven't heard of him going to those Amazon warehouses, taking things out the shelves and putting them in the boxes that ship to other boxes? No.

No, I have never once seen him take a dildo and wrap it in paper so it looks exactly like a dildo and bring it to my house. He has never peed in a jar in the side of the factory because there were enough break times during the day.

No. He has never thrown a package right where the gate opens at my place so it crushes the ceramic pig-shaped cookie jar i bought he has never once done that and i think they deserve all the money they can get honestly i do i've had so many things dropped ruined shattered but i'm like give them money it got to me i mean if they, they might take better care of the stuff if they got paid fairly.

They're trying to get the fuck out of there because they're rushing to all these different houses. They have a more reasonable working wage and working day. It wouldn't be so frenzied. Boy, oh boy, you're telling me, sister. And we're on strike right now as actors all the world is a stage yeah yeah and i do think it's very funny because i do think people are like uh rich people wanting more money and i'm like no it's like you should be able to make a living

as like a guest star a co-star like it's it's really it's like you should be able to make a living as like a guest star, a co-star. Like it's it's really it's incredible how little actors are paid, especially with residuals. Yeah, I think if you're not in the industry, you think, oh, Hollywood movie actors, they're making millions and millions of dollars and some are. they're making millions and millions of dollars and some are, but then they're not thinking about the actors who are like on set to say five lines or the extras or the dancers or the stand-ins. There's like so many other people

that aren't movie stars that need money, that need a living wage, that need to be able to pay to live in LA or wherever they are to pursue their dreams. And they're not getting that currently. They're not getting it. And then I was like, the whole AI thing is so wild

because they're trying to scan actors, background actors, like pretty specifically. And they're going to move on to other actors. They get $150 a day. They get scanned. And then their likeliness is move on to other actors. They get $150 a day. They get scanned. And then their likeliness is just used in perpetuity.

And then they can change this, change that, change an outfit. And then I was like, but that's, so that's one person who's like getting paid once and never again. But the costumer, you're going to need less costumers. You're going to need less makeup people. You're going to need less hair people. I was like that that it's not just the actors it affects everybody in this but it's so wild also i've been an extra before i started

as an extra and like if i got scanned also you get like 90 bucks a day or something like that so i'd like i went in for one day got scanned and then they can use my image for perpetuity? Then what if my career happened the way it happened? Now I'm on TV and I get cast and stuff, but Paramount or whoever scanned me 10 years ago can still use my image because I

let them? No. That sucks. It does suck. And also it's not even letting. It's like just written into, like people don't need contracts. And they're just like sneakily putting it into contracts and whatnot.

It's so wild. It's wild. And it's like, it already kind of happens, not with AI, but like with the perpetuity thing. Sometimes in a contract, it's like we can use your likeliness for say a book or a video game. And we don't have to pay you a single cent more than what we've paid you.

I've gotten gots. Yeah, I've gotten got too. Yeah. I've gotten got good. Mm-hmm. And it's crazy. And it's like, well, you signed it. You signed on to this job.

Those are the things that we asked for that you didn't check on because it was in fine print. And then also the way I got got is I asked for those things to be removed and they said no. And that's that's another option. You have the most powerful lawyer, most powerful agent. But if they go, no, you either take it or you don't take it. Damn, that's hot and then also a lot of people complaining they're like but actors get paid so much i'm like yeah so should the person at starbucks like i truly believe i'm like everyone every job that you have whether it be like well garbage

might get paid a ton of money to play in trash um because that's what I think they do I think they're playing I think they're playing I think they're driving big trucks and they're playing in the trash they're playing I think that's what they're doing they're playing they're saying look at this garbage um but like truly every any like if you work at a convenience store at target like you should be able to pay rent and not have multiple jobs yeah that's how i feel yeah that makes a lot of sense to me flipping burgers that's a skill i don't think i could do it a bunch of drive-thru orders you wouldn't get your food that's a skill i think they should be made adequately yeah yeah you shouldn't have to have many, many jobs in order to.

No. Yeah. Did you see that? Here's what I say. What? Oh, I was going to talk about Orange is the New Black because it was like one of the first Netflix shows. And because it wasn't like no one really knew what it was. They didn't consider it like TV TV, even though it was nominated for a million Emmys

after it came out. And so the actors still had to work like regular jobs in order to live, even though they were on TV and on like an acclaimed show. They literally went to the SAG Awards, accepted, all of them got to accept a statue that said best ensemble. And then fucking on monday had

to go to day jobs that's wild to me yeah and it's because in the beginning of streaming there was new media agreements so it was argued in like good favor that like once like we'll help you build your platform and then in turn you will pay us adequately after you've established yourself and then the streamers went no no we don't want to do that at all like i've uh sean gunn who's uh he was on gilmore girls uh he said that he hasn't gotten any residuals from net, even though Gilmore Girls, which is a WB, I believe, production, is licensed to Netflix. So Netflix paid WB to stream it, and then they're not paying the actors.

For their residuals. Yeah. So I'm like, bring back Pirate Bay. You remember that website where you could just fucking rip torn or bit torn or whatever? Steal it. Steal it all.

We're not getting paid. We're not getting paid we're not getting paid just steal it steal it because they're like piracy people need to get paid but they're not paying anybody no truly so it should be free bring back limewire remember limewire i do remember what you were gonna get when you downloaded that shit it'd be an album of cat noises and you'd be like that's not what I wanted. I wanted Beyonce. Oh, the good old days. Those were the days. LimeWire, Napster,

Pirate Bay. Mm-hmm. It's also weird that sometimes things aren't even in a place. I looked for Drop Dead Gorgeous because I had never seen it before and I wanted to see it. It's nowhere. I can't see it. It's nowhere. I can't find it. It's just nowhere. You know what else is nowhere?

Eddie. The Whoopi Goldberg movie where she plays the limo driver who becomes the head coach of the New York Knickerbockers. So I own it on VHS and DVD. I was like, do we have to start buying DVDs again? Because things are just going away. I guess.

Yeah, it is really weird where it's like, oh, I guess either this platform could go under or get bought by somebody or they can just take things off of it. And then I could just never see a thing again. A thing that I like. It's so strange. It's so, so strange. Yeah, I guess maybe they should make DVDs again. Or make links we can pay for to download. I don't know.

Can the download disappear? Can they take it away? Probably. Yeah, because remember when we all got that YouTube album downloaded to our phones and then we said we hated it and they took it away they did take it away i think they can take away our downloads probably wild we have to get dvd players yeah we have to get dvds we need to go analog again analog yes analog is that what a collection of dvds is called analog it's like analog versus digital like

real versus fake fake non-tangible yeah yeah tangible versus non-tangible jordan's her head is in her hand she's upset that i don't know what analog means well guess what ma'am i'm not a scientist oh here we go the major difference between both signals analog signals have the continuous electrical signal signals while digital signals have non-continuous why are you showing this to us judith we are not scientists i don't know what this means we don't have pha phs's wait what is it what's the doctor phd's never has my brain betrayed me so hard is what i said. We're not scientists. We don't have PHSs. PhDs is what I was going for. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, oh, boy.

I look like Coolio right now. Yeah, you do. Your hair's all braided up and pigtailed. It's cute. I did these, like, tiny two-strand twists on my hair. But my hair has, like, no density or weight to it so they just stick up and around and they don't like they won't like lie flat i put mousse in it i the only thing that works is if i go swimming and then rinse my hair then it will be stuck somewhere but i'm like i think it's because the pool chemicals i have to wash to wash it, wash it. And then when I put shampoo in it, it goes back to being like fluffy and unruly.

Hmm. Yeah, I don't know what makes it go down. Me either. Maybe it's fake hair. Maybe I put some fake hair. They also kind of look like calamari. You know, when you get the big pieces. I can see that, yeah. you know when you get the big pieces or like that feather fish that you sent me um yes i'm a feather fish you're a feather fish yes oh my god okay so i finished the mer people documentary because i will watch things

that you like uh oh oh boy okay watch sonic i don't understand why you just watch it i will i will i will but i did finish it it was really good yeah and then I was like well should we just go buy tails yeah I think that's the moral of the story we should get tails I kind of want to get a tail yeah and I've been swimming a lot like a merperson I've been just moving my arms and not my and then like, you know how they move their body like a body roll? I've been doing that. And I've been rolling around and doing flips and pretending to be a merman or mermaid, merperson. Merperson. I've been having a nice time.

That's fun. Yeah, it feels like it takes a lot of skill to do that. Like, you're moving, I guess you're using your legs, but not really. Not really. You're using your arms a lot, but then I do think the motion of your feet is helping. The thing I'm stuck on is like, oh my God, what if I start like drowning and I can't kick? That's what scares me about getting a tail. Yeah. I want to be able to kick and fully use both my legs as opposed to, I don't know, flailing about in this tail.

Yeah, and they stay underwater for such a long time. I know. Yeah, I'd be scared. Where is Mer Taylor? I forgot to look it up. Isn't he in the south? I want to go. Yeah. I want to go to a Mer Taylor. I forgot to look it up. Isn't he in the South? I want to go.

Yeah. I want to go to a Mer show. Where was it? Judith, it was Mer, M-E-R Taylor? T-A-I-L-R-O-R-O-L. I believe he was in Florida because I watched the docuseries, but I'm looking it up right now. Oh, great.

And there was one part towards the end where an older woman was like, was in florida because i watched the docuseries but i'm looking at that right now okay and there was one part towards the end where an older woman was like i married my partner at a convention and it took away my anxiety like i had angorophobia i didn't want to leave the house and i was like i think moving your body in a joyful way is more powerful than people let on yeah yeah and i feel like being a mermaid might be like, that's fucking weird. But it's truly just swimming and having a fun time with it.

Yeah. And Mertz Taylor is in Florida. How do we get there? What's Lakanto, Florida? I don't know. Alright, let's do directions. How long does it take to get there? We could go to Florida.

Hopefully it's near Orlando because we can make a whole trip out of it. Orlando? You want to go to Orlando? That's where Disney is. You're trying to get to Disney? What else we could do in Florida? I don't know. I don't want to go to... We don't know.

I don't want to go to... We could just to Lakanto or whatever. Well, if it's near Miami, we could do that jet ski tour again. That was fun. That was very fun.

Yes, we can go to Miami. I don't know why I wasn't thinking of Miami. Yeah, I don't know why you want to go to the middle of the state. Disney's hot. Disney's hot. That's true. Okay okay so it's 36 hours away if we drive

um but can you can you can you zoom in so we can see how far it is from like uh miami oh it seems to be on the west coast and i believe miami is on the east coast did i say that right Oh, it seems to be on the West Coast. And I believe Miami is on the East Coast. Did I say that right? Oh, yeah. Okay. It's five hours away. So it's not near anything.

It's close to Orlando. Okay, let's see how far away from Orlando it is. I guess we'll go to Disney. Yeah, it's an hour and a half yeah yeah i mean all right i guess we're gonna go to mer taylor mermaid encounter then head on over to disneyland see make a whole trip out of it and you know what i don't hate disney as much as I thought I did. Mm-hmm. So I'm open to going because I realized I didn't like it because the way my father made us do it. Oh. We weren't allowed.

We had to bring in our own water. When we ran out, we ran out. We had to bring in our own snacks. When they ran out, they ran out. And it was hot. And he was like, we gotta get to here. And we gotta go here. We gotta go here.

It was... Yeah. That man spent a lot of money and let us know it no that's not very enjoyable at all i can see why you don't like it no we would load up at the golden corral before we went he was like eat as much as you get at the buffet you only get snacks that we're bringing in. That's really, really funny. I mean, I also wouldn't want to be a parent who has to bring kids to Disney World. Like, that is so expensive. It's so expensive. So expensive. And then if they're too young, they're not going to fucking remember.

They won't. They really won't. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. I bought a piano. Did I tell you? A keyboard or a piano?

Oh, a keyboard. Okay. Sounds like you're to be like, I bought a piano. I bought a little keyboard. Oh, nice.

Is in your office? It's in my office and it's right next to my desk. It's purple. And I've just been tapping on it, trying to match sounds with my mouth to the piano. Harder than you think. Yeah. Are you going to take lessons?

Are you going to learn how to play? Are you kidding? I don't want to say his name because I don't know if he wants to be publicly noticed but your friend who does singing lessons I've had two singing classes with him oh I guess what I was referring to

was piano lessons oh oh no I ain't gonna do that but I'm gonna tinker around I'm gonna tinker around. I'm gonna tinker around by myself. I got to print out this sheet music to My Heart Will Go On because that's the only song I really care about playing.

I already know the melody. I got to learn the chords. Great. Great. And I can read music. I can read every now and again. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but i haven't tried it in a minute that's fine yeah she's having a good time yeah yeah yeah have you

picked up any new hobbies that you want to tell me about i so aggressive is there things you're doing that I don't know about? I have no idea why I said it like that. I'm trying to learn Spanish. I added you as a friend on Duolingo. Si, yo como pan. Si. Is that I eat bread? Yo como pan? I said, yes that I eat bread?

Yo como pan? I said, yes, I eat bread. Yes, I eat bread. Duolingo is obsessed with bread. It really is. And apples. Yeah, manzanas. Is that how you say it?

Yeah, manzanas. Yo como manzanas. Mm-hmm. E-pan. I eat bread and apples. Nasty. It's a nasty snack. Mm-hmm. Y pan. I eat bread and apples. Nasty. It's a nasty snack. An apple sandwich.

Let's see. Tu es mujer. Si. I said, yeah, ah, si. Hmm. What can I say about you? I mean, I just said you are a woman. So, I mean, you said yes. Two as Nina.

I mean, C. C. Yo is older than child. I don't know. I don't know how to say that. Yo is older than child. I don't know how to say that. It's hard.

With the L. I tried to thank someone for breakfast the other day, and I was like, gracias. Gracias. to thank someone for um breakfast the other day and i was like uh gracias uh i think i said pero comida and that's wrong it's um oh no it is wait is it poor i need to say poor poor gracias por comida which is just thank you for the food muy delicioso yo encanta I have been saying when someone says

some gossip I'm like ooh muy scandaloso muy scandaloso um duolingo okay so it feels hard and I get it it's like repetition and that's how you learn but I was just like I don't need to know about the bread or the apples anymore.

Can we move past the bread and the apples? Can we move past? Passporte, that's passport. Hotel is hotel. And train means I'm in the train or I'm in a train. Yeah, dueling is so hard. Yeah, but I do like that it's all gamified. That is helpful.

Yes, it is helpful. Because I love to win. I also love to win. And what's your hot streak? Are you on a streak? I think I like literally just started. So I'm sure my hot streak is like four days or something. I think I'm at.

Oh, my God. Jordan's at 189. Damn. Is that what that says? It's little. My eyes. Yes. Oh, yeah.

189. Damn. Are you doing Spanish? Hola, Jordan. Como estas? Muy bien. Y tu? Oh, muy bien.

Tu comes pan? Si. I'm literally going to go to Mexico and just ask everyone if they eat bread. What's wrong with her? Do you eat bread? Is she selling bread? She keeps talking about bread. What is this the funny thing about duolingo is is that yes i also was getting aggravated about the bread and the apples but then once you transition you then go into like being obsessed about like how like books and the library and numbers and then and then duolingo will trick you and be like

how many apples do you want and you're like I don't remember the word and it's like you kind of freak out for a second and then you're like no I do know the word so it does trick you along the way interesting so remember apples we're talking about apples again you thought we forgot about apples i don't know if i like that green bird yeah it's um it's kind of scary a little scary the energy is a bit ass is too fat overwhelming yeah it's too fat too big ass too fat too much knowledge in that ass and then i have a woman who's like mad at me all the time. She's like a cloud over her head. And I'm like, bitch, what do you want?

And I'll like click on her and I'll do what she asks me to do. And she's still always so mad. And I don't get it. Have you noticed her this year? I don't think I've seen this angry woman yet. Oh, I got to show her to you. She's so mad. I'm like, I'm here learning.

You should be happy I opened the app this morning. You should be happy. This fucking bird blasting off. I hate that bird. Okay, this lady. Look at her. She's got a cloud on her head. She has a literal cloud over her head. And it's raining at her. She's got a cloud on her head. She has a literal cloud over her head.

And it's raining on her. She's waving. Does she know I'm showing her to people? Oh, my God. She is annoyed with you. And I didn't do anything to her. Maybe it's because I didn't fill up my stars or something. I don't know.

But you don't have her? No, again, I'm not very far. Maybe when I get to a certain level, she'll pop up and be mad at me. Jordan, do you have an angry woman? Oh, okay, so it's just part of the game. That'd be really funny if just you got assigned

an angry woman. Like, eh, we really don't like you, Nicole. Oh, yeah. Nicole. Oh, yeah. Oh, and she's just angry. She has a name,

Lily. Wow. She's so emo. She really is. I like this purple, this like pink person underneath with the big eyes. Oh,

what's their name? She looks fun. Oh, doesn't tell us. Well, she looks excited. Oh, there's 10 characters. I think I've She looks fun. Oh, it doesn't tell us. Well, she looks excited. Oh, there's 10 characters. I think I've only met five.

I'm excited to meet the rest. I wonder if they do the 10 characters so you can hear the words in a different tone or reflection. Oh, interesting. Because sometimes a character will say something to me and I'll be like,

oh, this means I live in Mexico. And then another character will be like, I drink Mexico? I'd be so confused. Because Vive and Vive is so close to each other, but it depends on the character you have. Oh,

so interesting. So they're really trying to make us learn all sorts of different Spanish. I think so. And just, and just hearing from different, um, people. Oh,

that's sorry. Sorry. I like, sorry. She's Lily's best friend. I don't get it. No, no. Lily's going name is Zari. I like Zari. She's Lily's best friend. I don't get it. No, no. Lily's going to bring you down, Zari.

Get out. Despite being Lily's best friend, they couldn't be farther in personality. Zari is super extroverted and always has to be doing something. Zari's cute. Zari's adorable. And Lily's a curmudgeon.

Also, her hips don't lie, Zari. Zari got some hips Lily's a curmudgeon also her hips don't lie Zari Zari got some hips in those pink pants yeah what's going on with Duolingo did the person who designed everybody be like everybody need a fat ass from the birds to the people that's where we store all of our knowledge

yeah I wonder how you say fat ass in Spanish. Guapo ass. No, what's guapo mean? I don't know. I was going to say grande. I don't know. Vikram.

Oh, we moved on. Okay. You need to learn everybody. I need to know who these characters are before I encounter them. I don't want to be surprised. Okay, Vikram, have you ever met a person who is like the personification of sunshine? They're never not smiling or finding some kind of silver lining. That's Vikram in a nutshell.

If you have a bad day or an off day, you're language learning. Vikram is the guy to come along and cheer you up. He does look happy. What does Vikram look like now? I think, yes, I've met Vikram. He seems nice. Really big beard. That covers his whole mouth.

Yeah, and he's doing a split. He's got a little body, though. He's got a belly and no ass. Okay. Who's this? Oscar. Oscar. I've met Oscar.

Okay. Oscar looks nice. Oh, interesting. He over-pronounces words. Oh. He's an art teacher slash coffee aficionado. I love it. He has a job.

Okay. Yes. Oscar's the only one with a job so far. Yeah. I've seen this person. This is Lucy. I don't see Lucy often often this is lynn's grandmother they're this family um okay not a whole lot is known about lucy what you're writing it you can

they're the game is creating too old so she's too old So she's withholding and she doesn't know how to open up about who she is. Oh, I see. So we don't know about Lucy. But she's a cool grandmother letting Lynn chill at her place without holding down a job.

What a backstory. I love it. A chill granny who doesn't give a shit that Lynn is poor. And this is Lynn. Oh, Lynn would be the one without a job. Half her head is shaved and she is just cool.

She's just cool. One earring. With her Tegan Sarah haircut. Mm-hmm. Gotta say, not much of a torso. Her pants are very high. Lynn is super chilled and laid back. As Lucy's grandchild,

she bounces from job to job without much of a plan or clue of what she wants to do in life. We've all been there. And we have. Yes, sister. Yes, sister.

Okay. And then, ugh, angry Lucy, or Lily. Angry Lily. A little bit of an emo and an outcast. Oh, she's a teenager. Oh. Yeah, oh my God, so they're making her work,

and she doesn't want to be working, because she's a teen. She'd rather be outside having fun than teaching me Spanish. That's why she's upset. Wow. Lily, now I understand you. Oh, Junior, I don't really like Junior.

So Junior's Eddie's chaotic little boy. He really, he is chaotic. I get like a real chaotic energy from him. He's a precocious kid. He has the correct answer or a comeback for anything. Yeah, I don't like Junior. Oh yeah, and then there's a bear. And then there's a bear. Falstaff.

Falstaff? What a name. Falstaff's an enigma, a mystery. The Duolingo team hasn't developed the rich backstory for Falstaff. There's just a random fucking bear here and they said, deal with it. What?

That is, I forgot that there's like a literal angry bear. With a blue scarf. Yeah, he's cold. This icy bear. Okay. Falstaff. Why that name? Eddie.

Eddie, I don't, I haven't seen Eddie that much. I have never seen Eddie. Haphazard dad of Duolingo character Junior. He's a bit of a frantic mess, but he's trying his best. He can't put his hearts in the right place.

What? Okay. I mean, yeah, he had like a like an Adidas track suit on. He's trying his best. He's working out or something something very big upper body yeah no ass no no ass okay well and then who there's one more that's me yes b we have b yeah maybe b yeah consider yourself ambitious and neurotic well B. We have B. Maybe B. Consider yourself ambitious and neurotic?

Well, then you might find yourself a kindred spirit in B. You're a type A personality type who knows what they want and isn't afraid to go after it? That's B down to a T. She's cute. She has like a yellow tank top and some jeans.

A little afro puff and a yellow bandana. She's got a little titty. She ain't got no ass though. Yeah, it's straight up and down. That's not me. Wait, I feel like she's the only full character with feet. Did Vikram not have feet?

Did we not see feet on Vikram when he was doing the split? Oh, we did. He was in a full split. But everybody else is pretty footless. Torso up. Uh-huh. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting.

Okay, okay. Well, and there you have it. If you were interested in Duolingo, we have told you the characters. Imagine, I imagine there's one person who was on the fence and was like, I don't think I'm going to do it. I don't like these characters. Yeah, I don't want to get to know any of these people.

I just want to learn the language. But I got to know these people trying to teach me. Should we answer questions? So we should do a question or two or three or four. Give us those queries. We're hungry for more. Ooh, beautiful. That was so good, Nicole.

Those singing lessons are coming in handy. Thank you. Is this weird? Cleaning edition. Is this weird? Cleaning edition. Is this weird? Hey, Nicole, Sushir, and all the lovely people who make the pod possible. I have a question about whether something I do is weird. This is something I never thought much of until my sister came to visit and was like,

what in the actual fuck when I told her about it? I have this routine whenever I go out of town or vacation. The routine is before I I leave, I always clean my house and organize my closets, bathroom and kitchen. One might think example, my sister, I do this because I like coming home to a clean place. But no, I do this because I worry I'm going to die or get seriously injured while I'm out. And I really don't want my family or friends to come to my home and think my place is gross. I also don't want them to have to bring me things while I'm in the hospital in the event I survive the horrific accident

and be appalled by how I just organize my closet, bathroom, et cetera. Basically, I want them to remember and think of me as a much more put-together person than I actually am. Basically, I want them to remember and think of me as a much more put together person than I actually am. As I said, my sister thinks this is weird and morbid. I suppose I could just lie and say I like to come home to a clean place, which admittingly is a nice perk.

But deep down, I would always know the truth. And honestly, if the roles were reversed and I had to go home, go to the home of someone in my life who died, who was in the hospital. I'd much rather walk into a clean, organized home. So what do you guys think? Is that weird? No. No. I don't think it's weird at all. Because I have been embarrassed where I'm out of town and I've had to have someone go get somebody in my house.

And I'm like, okay, you step through this mound of clothing and then trapeze through a bag of mannequin heads that I need to throw away. And there are my car keys. So I do, I try to do my laundry, try to have everything folded, put away. I do try to organize

just in case because I have that embarrassing thing. But also I do like coming home to a clean home. Yeah, I love coming home to a clean home. But also coming home to a clean home but also i guess there's nothing wrong with that reasoning yeah if you want people to come you know find your belongings in a nice spot if you have passed or are sick that's that's a fine reason

too it's also funny because this person's like i want them to think i'm a more clean person than i actually am but you are like you're doing it like you're actively being clean so it seems like you are a clean person i think you're a clean person i like it i think it's funny i don't think it's my but i also have like a full will and stuff so i i don't know Nothing's really morbid to me. Yeah. I think, I mean, it's like, yeah, some people don't like to think about mortality or death or anything like that. But I think it's a fine thing to think about. It could happen. Me too.

It happens. Shit happens and people be dying. Everybody dies. Just like everybody poops. That should be the second book in the series. After you read that to your child, everybody poops, everybody dies just like everybody poops every that should be the second book in the series after you read that to your child everybody poops everybody dies everybody dies and then everybody poops after they die do they yeah i think so what i think so i think it's like when you die your body expels everything inside of it and you poop. I don't want to poop when I die.

Yeah. Your muscles loosen immediately after death, releasing any strain on your bowel and bladder. As a result, most people poop and pee at death. Yuck. Yeah. And then somebody has to like clean that up for like a wake yeah

ew ew ew ew ugh so really we should be wearing diapers in case we die we really should so there's no loose shit all over the place ugh but wearing a diaper like it would just be so crunchy like with every step everyone took i'd be like someone's coming

just be able to hear everybody yeah i can't imagine shitting in a diaper at this age shitting in a diaper at this age. And like no shade to people who have to. I just in my brain, this is very ableist of me and I understand this. But like I know me. I forget about things.

I would just get used to like the creamy texture. No! No! And like forget to change my diaper. No! I know I i would i don't think you would because it's so uncomfortable no i really don't think you would because have you ever when's the last time you wore a pad for your period um like what was the long one a minute it's been a minute okay i feel like when i did wear pads i would feel like i i would need

to change it like i would i can't walk around all day with a full pad so if i actually had like a full diaper that went all the way around my body and was holding my shit and my pee i would absolutely i could not i could not go about i couldn't go to the grocery store and like do this here's what i'm saying if i'm out i'm out and if i can make it to a bathroom i probably will but like i probably would be like oh let me finish my shopping first and then like forget about it and be like squishing on home and then hopefully when i got home I'd like remember to change it. But I really do think there's a world where I'm just like, shit, I forgot.

Especially if it's just like a squirt. Yeah. I wonder if people who wear diapers and are able to change themselves carry diapers on their person when they're out and about. Oh, that is interesting. Or do they just wait till they get home? I don't know. I don't know either. I think I would carry them with me.

It'd be like just in case. Yeah, just in case I still have to be out for hours and don't feel like holding this. Well, if you think about it, you bring a tampon or a pad with you when you leave the house. Even when I wear my little diva cup, I bring one just in case the diva cup overflow with. Yeah. Jordan, what were you going to say? I'm loving all the logical reasonings for this but i do want to mention that

with like there's a reason that babies cry when they poop their pants because it's irritating and also if you don't if you do not clean a baby quick enough it can cause a rash so that's like another thing to think about is like yes you probably could like slosh around all day with with that but you could get a rash and also i think the stench would get to you i think the scent would really like yeah you yeah but if it's a little squirt maybe it's not stinky a little squirt i can understand and i feel like most adults do do little squirts from time to time because people shart themselves all the time. But I think the scent would probably get to you before the squishiness.

I think that's probably true. All right, I guess I take it back. I guess I change it quick. I also just want to say, thank you for letting me be on this show because I would never have these conversations. It's on my own. You mean you're not gathering

friends together and asking them how often they would change their diaper if they have it? Yeah, you're like, everyone come here. Who has a diaper? Who doesn't? Who needs to be changed? That's exactly what I do. I just want to reiterate, this is a very ableist conversation, and I do understand that. And I do understand

that diapers are a necessity and maybe aren't a laughing matter for some. But i did enjoy my teehee what a nice disclaimer but i had a good laugh well i just want people to no i know that was considerate that was i just i don't want anyone to like feel bad yeah because there's nothing wrong with wearing a diaper no there's not people do you know that i have when my period is so freaking heavy i will wear it depends because it's because it's just like i can't control this i'm just gonna wear this and it's actually very useful oh wow yeah that's really smart that's good info for people. When my periods were heavy, that probably would have come in handy.

It never occurred to me to do that. Yeah. I'm sure that's also really helpful when you're sleeping too. Yeah, 100%. Because everyone knows this was first two days that it's like crazy and it's an explosion.

So instead of like running to the toilet every hour to change, it's like, okay, I could wear this for like a couple hours and i should be okay but yeah definitely sleeping in it too is helpful but yeah it's only when it's like real real bad yeah boy oh boy periods suck i wish i didn't have a period yeah this month i kind of didn't and it

was amazing it was for two days and it went right away. It got sucked right back up in me. And I was like, thank God. Stunning. Right back to where it came from. Goodbye. Should we do another question? Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah, dude.

Hi, Nicole and Sashir. My name is Nicole. Pronouns are they, them. And I love the show so much. Okay. Sorry, my brain's a little scattered. I also have ADHD. So sometimes my brain is just like, even though I have thoughts that in my head make sense, and then I say them out loud and they don't make sense, which, you know what, Nicole, you get it. So I don't feel that embarrassed by calling in or sending in my voice memo because I guess I'm technically sending in a voice memo on my phone. So I guess that's kind of calling.

Okay. Whatever. Um, I have a question about cohabitation with your best friend. So my best friend and I have been best friends since college and we have lived together post college. Um, And we have lived together post-college. For context, that's like 10 plus years. And honestly, y'all's relationship really makes me think of our relationship. It's so relatable. I think we're always talking, sending each other voice memos. Like, she's my platonic life partner in many ways.

And we've been really evaluating how we look at the future and community. Also, we live in Seattle and neither of us can afford a house. So we're working on buying a house together this summer because family is really what you make of it. And it's her and her fiance and me and my partner. And I guess I'm just wondering if you two were to move in together, like buy a house together for the record we're trying to find a duplex because you know that makes more sense for our lifestyles um because she and her fiance can have a duplex I mean my partner can have a duplex

because I also have a non-nesting partner so it'd be nice to have three. Anyway, that's not the point, I don't think. Basically, if you two were to cohabitate, what are some things that you would want to think about or, like, prep for ahead of time? Would you have to, like, would you think of, like, agreements that you'd want to, like, separate out friendship roommate stuff. Um, and I know y'all both own your homes, but I was just curious if you were to buy a house together, what are some things that you would think about like decorating wise? Like my best friend is very minimalist. I am a colorful maximalist obsessed with flamingos. So I'm just wondering if there's anything that you would think about when cohabitating together okay I hope that makes sense

um wow I said um a lot I don't know how y'all do this okay I love you both have a great day bye Nicole is this your male person this is Nick my male person

they sound just like my male person my male man who's not a man is a woman i can't believe that's how i presented that to you um yep that's who i met today here's the thing if you buy a duplex you're not technically roommates this is you're in two separate homes yeah if anything you maybe would share a yard if there is one but you yeah you don't have to like worry about decorating your your spaces together but i guess if they did if they couldn't find a duplex and they did have to find a house to share um i think we've said this before on the pod like If issues come up roommate-wise, you could just start the conversation that way. Like, hey, this is a roommate issue I have

versus a friend issue. You could have roommate meetings as opposed to friend dinners and bringing things up that have to do with the house. I will say, buying a house that's not a duplex with your best friend might be hard because then you're really in each other's spaces like you're in each other's faces and spaces every single day yeah you're sharing a kitchen um maybe sharing like a like. Maybe there's like, and then usually in houses,

there's a primary and then everything else is like a secondary bedroom. So it's like, who would take the primary? Who's gonna be in the secondary ones? I really think a duplex is the best case scenario. Either one building where there's a top and bottom or a house where there's a house in front

and a house in back. Because that way, it's like you see each other, you share a yard, but like your lives are separate and you get to live in a community because it is still a community,

but you have a set, there's a separation and I do think that's really important yeah or you could buy land and build tiny houses on it you could do that you could buy some land go to home depot and get you a tiny house that's pre-built slam it on that ground and say hello community i think they're cheap i or like i think they're they have like reasonably priced tiny homes um that don't even seem that tiny um but i will say the thing about buying a prefab tiny

house is that i don't believe they come with like kitchens or bathrooms i think it's just the structure and then you have to put everything in it i I think that's where the cost comes in. For sure. Uh-huh. But yeah. Home Depot is $32,000. Imagine spending $32,000 at Home Depot. That's actually way more expensive than I thought.

These houses are pretty. $7,000. 12 foot by 14 foot that seems pretty expensive also this is from alibaba.com i don't trust that i don't trust that that house isn't coming together it's gonna come in pieces huh okay seven thousand dollars oh that's a shed i don't know maybe this year was not. Hmm. I don't know. Maybe Sashir was not onto something. I don't think I was. Maybe you shouldn't do a tiny house.

Let's see. Is it cheaper to build a tiny house? Can you click on? So $30,000 to $60,000. I mean, that is less than a house house. Mm-hmm. Okay. Maybe you don't do a prefab one. you maybe you build it from the ground from the

studs from the sticks from the dirt yeah fingers crossed that you can find a duplex um but i but also i'm sure there are people who are living in a house with their partners and best friends and you make your community whatever you want. I think that's great. I personally love being alone. Ooh, baby, I can't get enough of my alone time in my own space, no matter how much I love you. So it's really hard for me to visualize that, to have three other adults in the house with me. No, thank you. I mean, I had roommates for a very, very long time, and I think it really only worked

because everyone really picked up after themselves. When there was three of us, it was good. When it was just me and John Millhiser, we would play a fun game called Trash Jenga. And we just put little things on top of the trash until someone was like, well, I have to take this out. But also that was in my 20s. But yeah, I didn't have a problem living with roommates.

I don't know. I really, for whatever reason, just feel like a duplex is the way to go. Yeah. Yeah. Because say somebody wants to move out, the person can buy the other person out and then rent that out and it becomes income. Yeah. We love that passive income. Solved. Solved.

Solved. I don't know. I think we just, I don't even know if there was anything to solve. I think we just gave our opinion on their situation, but I hope it works out. Me too. Best of luck to you and yours.

And if you have a query or question or comment or something you want to say, get off your chest. You can email Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com. There's also a number. Do you want to hear it? Of course you do. 424-645-7003. We also have merch at podswag.com slash best friends.

We also have transcripts of our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at Earwolf dot com. Lastly, don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. That is the easiest way to support this show. Now go out in the world and do something positive today. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.