Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Is Loving Girl Scout Cookie Season

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

The rain is still terrorizing Nicole while the ants in the new Ant-man movie terrorize Sasheer. One thing they can both agree on is that the film felt like a Star Wars movie. Nicole realizes that she needs to go back in time to get dropped off in front of Steven Spielberg’s home to become the child to star in E.T. Sasheer is loving girl scout cookie season and together they unpack Nicole’s disdain for the Girl Scouts and the cookies! Lastly, they help solve a listener’s query about how to talk to a friend who can’t cook and keeps cooking for you. Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hello, Sashir! Hi, Nicole! How are you? I am good, how are you? Listen, I'm thriving, it's raining here, it feels great, we need the rain! Yeah, yeah, it seems like too much rain. I'm not there, so I don't actually know the quantity that's happening. It's honestly the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

My whole house is leaking. And in my office, the ground is wet, but the walls aren't wet and the ceiling's not wet. So I truly don't know what's happening. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. It's really fun. You know, I feel like the universe is just like, you stupid bitch. Let's give you fun shit to deal with.

Yeah. you stupid bitch let's let's give you fun shit to dof yeah i haven't heard of any leaks in my house but i have a friend staying there now while i'm in atlanta shooting and she did show me a video of the umbrella that was on my roof flew and like crashed into a window and the window's fine but the screen's broken and the, the umbrella is like torn to shreds. Yeah. It sounds violent there. Yeah. They,

um, I was driving home last night after a warning that was like, stay where you are unless you're fleeing, stay where you are. That's the word that they chose to use on this alarm emergency thing. I was like, not fleeing, just going back home. The 5 was closed because it was flooded. Good Lord. Yeah, this town isn't made for rain.

No, not at all. Also, well, I guess there are times where it rains a lot in LA.A., but not like that. Not like this. This is awful. And it's going to be all fucking week. Hey, boy. I'm going to call my contractor and be like, where is this?

Where is it? Where is this leak coming from? And he's going to be like, Nicole, I don't know. It's going to be great. It's going to be like, Nicole, I don't know. It's going to be great. It's going to be so good. And then he's going to be like, you know how much it's going to cost to fix what I don't know is leaking? Ten billion dollars! And I'm going to be like,

okay, thank you so much. That seems like a great estimate. Happy to pay. I'll fucking sell the house to fix the leaks. Anything to just stay in this state that's definitely going to sink into the ocean one day. Seems as such, but I got to stay here. It's where the industry is.

But honestly, it's not. You're in Atlanta. Like, what are we all doing here? This is a really good point. I think I'm mostly shot outside of LA. I've only really shot in LA. But get me out of here. I have a fucking shot in LA but get me out of here I have a fucking pot

in my TV room because it's leaking in there I came home and Clyde was shivering in a corner and I was like what's wrong with you and he was like bitch look at all of the water from the outside that is inside this does not belong and I was like honestly you're right

God bless I'm sorry someone asked me recently like where i would live if i wanted to retire or like settle down or whatever you know where do i want to live the rest of my days out if not in california and i don't know if i've seen that place i don't know what place that is. Like... That is... Have you thought about that? I'm going to... I'm going to Bahamas when I retire.

Aruba, Jamaica, bring me back to Bahamas! I will die there. I'm frustrated for the rest of my days. And angry. I know... Okay. of my days and angry um i know okay i don't i don't think i've seen where i want to retire to but i know it's an island with very blue water and nobody there that sounds nice that sounds really nice just me and my boo whoever they are wherever they are, we're going to go to an island where we have our friends come

see us and then they fucking leave. And then there's days where we say three words to each other, not because we're mad, but because hey baby, we're on an island. We don't got much to say. We don't got much to say. I saw the same bird you saw.

I saw the same. We saw the same bird you saw. I saw the same. We saw the same waves that are always here. More or less. That's all I want. But I haven't seen that island yet. Yeah. In my mind, I feel like I'd be in a forest. But also, there's so many animals and bugs there that I don't know.

Like, I can't foresee myself loving that. That part of it. Anyway, I mean, in Avatar one, they weren't mad about the bugs. You're Avatar one. I'm Avatar two. You're the way of the water. I'm the way of the water. And you're just Avatar.

I'm just Avatar. of the water i'm the way of the water and you're just avatar well that's because they like talked to the bugs and lived amongst them and the bugs are part of the community maybe that's what happens to you i guess i could just embrace the bugs as opposed to fighting them you know part of the community yeah wouldn't that be nice that would be're part of a little bug community. You got a fucking army of ladybugs who do your bidding. I, we both, both of us I know have separately seen the latest Ant-Man. And I watched the first two to prep for it. It always takes me off guard when the actual ants come into the movie. I'm like, oh yeah yeah. They use ants.

Real ants. Unsettling. Every time they get big, they build things. I don't love that part. And I realize it's about Ant-Man, but every time they come on screen, I'm like, ugh.

That's so funny. And also, I was like, what came first? Honey first honey i shrunk the kids or ant-man comic oh because did someone get the big ant idea from auntie from honey i shrunk the kid oh and then wrote a whole comic book series about it like you know let's figure this out was that did you recall that off the dome? I don't remember. Auntie. You don't remember Auntie?

They're in the woods and there's like a whoopee pie and then they like swipe it off with a stick. Yeah. And then a big ant comes and they're like, whoa. And then the ant's like, I'm nice. And then they're like, we can ride this ant. Because they're a friend. And then they're like, we can ride this ant. Because they're a friend. And then I think Auntie dies. And I think it's really traumatic for the children who were then shrunk.

Do you know what I mean? Like, they shrunk, got a pet, and then the pet was murdered. If I'm remembering it correctly. It sounds like you remember it perfectly. Okay, so Ant-Man started... Let's see. It first appeared in Tales to Astonish in 1962. Oh, okay.

So that's... The kids was inspired by Ant-Man. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. from the kids was inspired by ant-man okay um this latest one i cannot remember the name of it but last last night or two nights ago i called it ant-man ant-woman quantum leaps and people laughed at me really hard and i still don't know the name of the movie but i went and saw it and

it felt like a star wars movie oh yeah that's what a lot of people are saying it's like the costumes yes like the kind of the story with like the rebellion and etc like it's yeah there's a lot of star wars stuff in there and i hate that i knew that you know yeah i was sitting there being like what is this return of the ant i don't know i could have figured out how to match them um but yeah and then i didn't get a lot of stuff like that the guy with the stressed out face and the little legs the pink one oh no no no mardock or mordock moda i didn't know who that was yeah modok or something but boy oh boy did he make me laugh he was very weird looking yes what and i couldn't decide if i was laughing because

of how weird he looked or if he was being funny and that was confusing i was like am i laughing with him or at him and i didn't know and i still don't know yeah i don't know either i mean he was funny he had some funny lines right and he also just looked funny he looked so funny during my screening because i went to the world premiere thank you very much um i went with tony and we were sitting there and this kid next to us went to the bathroom and i guess he was so so excited to get back and not miss anything else that he almost fell off the balcony. Oh. And my reaction was to lean away from him. And Tawny goes, Nicole, you were closest to that child.

You should have saved him. And I was like, but what if he pulled me over? Not me. And then I was like, do you think they would have stopped the screening if he had fallen hmm i mean yes marvel people are intense oh this is like with fans i mean it was the world premiere so it was like we like fan people who had dressed up and then like i guess like other actors but like this child i think was just a fan of marvel stuff i would have predicted that they would have stopped it to be like is he okay and as soon as he was like thumbs up they would turn the movie back on that's also what i would predict yeah which is wild a child falls

from a balcony we should all go home but if he gives a thumbs up he's, we should all go home. But if he gives a thumbs up, he's okay. We should all go home and respect that this child fell off a balcony from excitement of a movie. We should all stop. If he's okay, he's okay. I guess so. But imagine the people he fell on. Are you okay?

They're like, you have to be okay. He's okay. We're all okay. Put it back on. And then, okay, here's another thought I had about the movie. Everyone said the word Cassie too much, this girl's name. Oh, boy, yeah. Do a drinking game.

You would die. Cassie! Cassie! Cassie! Cassie! Cassie sent us to the quantum. Cassie did this. Cassie's now an ant person.

Who is she? If there's ant woman ant ant man and then the doctor and the wife there's somebody right oh no they're the og ant man ant woman yeah uh-huh yes yeah then what is cassie ant baby um i don't think they've made her a superhero yet but she probably will be because she has a suit. So she'll probably be the ant kid or something. Here's my thing. The kids are in Spider-Man. Get out of Ant-Man, you kid.

We got enough kids. Get out! Only some kids can be superheroes. I mean, there's no kids in Thor. Oh wait, there's a bunch of kids in thor it was a whole fight scene of kids that was a huge part of the whole point of the movie christian bale stole up some kids but here okay i don't want kids fighting the whole movie they

get a moment thor did it right that was an awesome scene that was very fun fun fact oh wait you know this too because you did the podcast episode it was like a bunch of actors kids mm-hmm yeah which i think is really his kid and uh chris hemsworth kid maybe nally portman's kid yeah like all their kids were in it which is that's fun how fun i want to be a nepo baby like how fun would that be like okay if i could go back in time here's what i would do oh my god i would find little nicole and steal her and i would drop her off on the doorstep of like steven spielberg and be like with a little note that's like put this one in movies and stuff and keep her don't tell anyone nobody wants it and steven's just like okay he's not gonna try to investigate where this baby came from

and guess who gets to be an et you would have been great in et thank you i think so, my God. If I ever get the technology, that's what I'm doing. Fuck Drew Barrymore. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Drew did an interview or something. Drew Barrymore was talking about E.T. and how they didn't tell her that E.T. was fake. Oh, no. that was an alien and got like, like her alien friend and got attached. So like when, when E.T. went home, I guess that was like her really crying because she thought she lost her friend. Oh no.

Yeah. I mean, that's how you get a performance from somebody, but damn. Yeah. It's like, it's like cute, but then it's also like,

is that ethical? No. To like lie to the child? No. Because she at least knows she's at work. Or I guess, I don't know how old she was. But she knows she's shooting. At work, you make friends.

So she thought her friend the alien was part of the cast. Yeah. And then imagine going to the wrap party and be like, where's E.T.? I know he went home. But like, we all went home. And then I going to the wrap party and be like, where's E.T.? I know he went home. But like, we all went home. And then I came back. So where's E.T.? Like, as she's snorting rails of cocaine.

Where's E.T.? Yeah, she's just like on a bender because she misses her friend. Oh, my God. Do you think that, do you think Steven Spielberg started that for her? That was the beginning of the downfall. Oh my God, Steven. Then don't drop me off on that doorstep. No, I guess I'll go somewhere else.

Who was popular in the 80s? Maybe you don't want to go that far back. I feel like people started really taking care of kid actors recently. Maybe you don't want to go. But the thing is, i have to be a baby because you're trying to become a nepo baby okay i see i see because nepo babies are adults so i have to go back in time to be a real baby to land on the doorstep of somebody to become a nepo baby okay but you could also be a baby now and then grow up to be an adult in the future

be a baby now how on earth get a wizard cast a spell no you gotta time travel that's how you get baby or maybe I have a baby and then I drop it off on the doorstep I am in LA where everything is leaking and maybe I drive it

wait why would you drop it off on a doorstep you're already the famous person. You're already the famous mom. You don't have to give the baby to somebody else. Just raise your kids. I give you Charlize Theron. And I say, here you go. Put her in things.

Yeah, I'm going to do that. I'm going to have a baby and leave it on a doorstep but then like what what satisfaction are you gonna get out of this because you're not raising this kid you no longer have an attachment to this kid i'll watch her rise and then complicate her life at 18 you are mine and she's like, but you, what? Why did you do that? I could have been your nepo baby. I didn't want the responsibility. I just wanted you to thrive, but without me.

That's funny. That is funny. how is atlanta it's nice it's um it's dreary here but not as dreary as it is in la um yeah this is like the end of times and i'm really mad about it i don't want to be here for the world ending and it feels like i'm gonna be. Do you know what I'm saying? Like between the pandemic and then, I don't know, a week of solid torrential downpour where they're like, if you're fleeing, flee. I don't want to be here for this. This is a setting. Bring back the days where, no, I don't want an earthquake, but bring back the days where nothing happened, you know? Where nothing happened? I don't know there was a time where nothing happened. Yeah, those were the days. Make America great again where nothing happened i don't know there was a time where nothing happened yeah

those were the days make america great again where nothing happened oh no what i've i've reclaimed it i've reclaimed it okay yeah we could just great can be anything yeah i do purple hats instead to really confuse people like what is she trying to make great again? What part? What aspect? We know what the red one wants. What does the purple one want? I'm a mystery.

Just what I want. Just for nothing to happen. For it to be fun and silly. Silly fun. Nothing. Nothing happens. Wait, Sashir. I told you about this store in Atlanta called The Clothing Warehouse.

Oh, yes, I went. Did you like it? I did. I got a couple bucket hats. A couple more fuzzy bucket hats. Yes. Yes. I bought $500 worth of stuff from there.

And then I was like, how am I going to pack this? And they were like, we can ship it. And I was like, what? So I'm still waiting on it because the post office in Atlanta was allegedly closed for two weeks. Listen, we can ship it. And I was like, what? So I'm still waiting on it because the post office in Atlanta was allegedly closed for two weeks. Listen, I don't know. You can tell me whatever story you like.

I don't know, but it's fine. I know, I don't mind. I love everyone who works there. And I called the day after I went and I was like, hello? And they're like, is this Nicole? And I was like, what? Yes.

And they were like, hi, Nicole. And I was like, hi, is there that jacket that I was like, hello? And they're like, is this Nicole? And I was like, what? Yes. And they were like, hi, Nicole. And I was like, hi, is there that jacket that I was looking at? Is it still there? And they were like, yes. And I was like, gimme, gimme, gimme, add it to the pile. And then they did. And then two or three days ago,

I called to make sure that they like zented or like it didn't get lost. And I was like, hello? And they're like, Nicole? And I was like, hello? I don't know how they know me. Do they have your number stored? Oh, maybe. They're like, ohle and i was like hello i don't know how they know me do they have your number oh maybe they're like oh it's nicole that thought never occurred to me i was like these are my best friends i love it um but i'm waiting for my stop it's a bunch of dumb stuff one of the sweatshirts

is a bear family and then next to the bear family says, the best place to be is with family. Oh, that's funny. And then there's a bunch of birds on another sweatshirt and a little sign underneath them that says, flight school. I spent $500 on the dumbest shirt. Oh, God, I can't wait to see it all. If it brings you joy, it brings you joy. Dumb things bring me joy. I love dumb stuff.

Yeah. That's all I want, just dumb. You must have taken all the good stuff, because I saw some cute stuff in there, but nothing that I was, like, you know, losing it over. Oh, yeah, I got two jackets, a bunch of sweatshirts, a t-shirt with a horse and flames

that says Harley Davidson. Yeah, maybe I got all the dumb shit. Maybe. A lot of it was hidden. So I didn't really look in the... So when you first walk in that, like, big area, I was like, I don't think they have anything for me here. And then I went in the back with the vintage vintage stuff.

And all that was too small. And then the t-shirt room was a little too overwhelming. And then when I came back out, I discovered all the sweatshirts. Well, well, well. Yeah. I think I'm also not in a mood to shop because my bags are packed to the brim when I got to Atlanta.

And I don't have much room to bring stuff. I know I can ship stuff. I'm like, I don't really want to buy more stuff to ship. Buy another suitcase! But it was already cumbersome to have two huge suitcases and a backpack and another bag yeah but you only have to get to the airport and then you tell that man who's helping like who drove you or woman don't want to gender them we don't know who they are yet tell whoever's driving you in their vehicle be like please help me and then they'll help you and then no more cumbersome but then if i i guess so but then i have to get to get it off the plane and then i don't know and then when

you get picked up the person who's picking you up requests for them to be inside with a cart and then they'll put everything on the cart and then you don't have to do a thing i think i'm just traumatized from the bahamas because that i had all my stuff with me and they came straight from the bahamas to georgia and i was like i don't want to deal with this anymore everyone's making fun of me for having really big bags they keep throwing them over seats i don't like this yeah that was bad but honestly i can be packed in two minutes uh so like that's a good thing i learned from bahamas when i was in atlanta i unpacked my stuff but i left it in little folded piles next to the suitcase because if someone was like you have to

go i could just stack everything throw it back in the, zip it up and be ready to go in a minute. We're ready to flee at any moment. Yeah. I mean, fleeing the rain in L.A., it's like flee the terrible Airbnb that you're staying in. I found this Instagram account that's like evil Airbnbs or something. I don't know what it's called, but I watched a bunch of videos of people being like, look at this dirty hot tub. Everything is broken. And then a couple of them had like rugs that they had moved. And there was like, like a tunnel down into the basement where there was whole rooms with like chairs and stuff. And they're like, I don't know what this is used for. And that's scary. Airbnbs are scary. That scary that is scary yeah it i mean it's kind of astonishing that we all bought into this idea for so long i feel like i mean i for sure i'm going

back to hotels i feel like there is a movement that's now like fuck other people yeah i'm going back to hotels but yeah that we were all like yes I'll go into a stranger's home and just trust that I'll be safe. Like, people are weird. People are very weird. I mean, it's the same thing with like Ubers and ride shares. When they first appeared, I was like, so I'm just getting in somebody's car. Everyone's like, yes. And I was like, all right.

And giving them my address. Yeah, telling them exactly where they can come back and murder me. I mean, Postmates is the same thing. It's a different person just coming to your house, not employed by the restaurant. And then I've had several deliveries where they're like, Michael's coming, and then Brenda comes, and it's a different car. And I'm like, who are you? And why are you delivering my food? Why wasn't I notified that Brenda was coming?

I was looking for Michael. Michael never showed up. Brenda did with my Whopper. Are you still eating Whoppers? No. Okay. Listen, I'm really upset about it, but I think there's something in Whoppers that make you want more Whoppers.

I wouldn't be surprised. Because when I went on my Whopper binge, I would have a Whopper a day to keep the doctor in my life. Do never stop going to Beverly Hills to see a doctor. And I started really craving them. do never stop going to Beverly Hills to see a doctor. And like, I started craving, like really craving them. And then when I'd see Burger Kings, I'd be like,

Ooh, I could get a Whopper now. And it was like, why, why, why? It's not even that good, but I love them.

So I'm really trying not to eat Whoppers anymore. Oh, good. Girl, Girl Scout cookie season is happening right now and oh that's how i am with tagalongs i bought two boxes of tagalongs and they were gone in like maybe two days really and what is a tagalong it's the peanut butter chocolate one it's like the crunchy wafer with the peanut butter and then chocolate all around it.

And they had some at work at Crafty. And I was like, this is really dangerous for me. I don't want to. That's nice. I don't want to embarrass myself. Your production supports the local. My addiction. Oh, yes. Your addiction.

Little women being entrepreneurs. They support your addiction. It was kind of crazy because the one that's closest to my trailer had like six tag along boxes. No other Girl Scout cookies. Just that one. And I was like, no, I'm going to eat them all. I wonder if you said it to somebody. Maybe you mentioned it to somebody and they were like, we know how to make Sashir happy.

Or someone just saw me like eating four and then like walking away and then coming back and being like, sneaking into the box again. And they're like, she clearly likes these. We should just get her more. They got me little mini Reese's peanut butter bits because I love them. And they're very hard to find. So they would only give them to me because they only sell them in Albertsons. And he was like, you know how hard these were to find? I was like, sorry.

And he's like, don't tell anyone that we have these for you. Just say you got them, you brought them, and you put them in a cup. And I was like, okay. They gave it to you in a cup? Because it was a big box. So I had to shake it out into a little cup. Aw, that's nice.

Can I tell you something that might change your opinion of me oh i don't like girl scout cookies i think they're pretty bad uh like minty ones nasty samosas nasty um the only one i can deal with is the blue box of the shortbread cookie. And I deal with it. Wow. But have you had tagalongs? Yeah, I've had a tagalong. I was a fucking Girl Scout, man.

I sold cookies and by I, my mother sold cookies. This sounds like some self-hate stuff, okay? I don't think it has anything to do with the cookies. I think it has everything to do with you and your view of yourself as a Girl Scout. Listen, I didn't want to be a fucking Girl Scout.

You start off as a daisy fucking Scout. I'm not a daisy. I'm a child. And then I had to sit on a mat and talk to these other stupid girls that I had no interest in. And then they were all like my sister's friends who were like slightly a little older than me.

I was like, I don't want these people. And why are we sitting on mats that we had to fucking decorate ourselves with daisies? We are daisies. I don't have to decorate this. And then you become a brownie. What the fuck is that transition? You become a, you're a flower and now you're food?

And why are we brownies? And the color of the uniform is disgusting it's shit brown and we had to wear shit brown uniforms to sit in a circle and talk to each other why i can make my own friends and then my mother was like do you want to become i don't know a junior scout and i was like get real the green is nasty I'm not here for it I don't understand what girl scouts do I don't I'm mad that I was a part of it maybe this is self-hate I was so mad every time we had to go to meetings my sister was so happy she'd be like I can't wait to sit on my mat I didn't want to sit on a mat why couldn't we sit in chairs I don't What comes after brownie? Is it

junior scout? Something like that. I did it in high school. In high school? Yeah, but I didn't do it all the way through. You were old enough to know better. But my friend treated it like a hustle. She was like, if we sell a bunch of boxes at school,

we'll get enough money or points or whatever you were supposed to get to get a trip sponsored by the Girl Scouts. So we did sell the most. And because no one else cared. And then we, like, got a trip to California. And then we got a trip to Savannah, Georgia. So it's like, we can get a free vacation if we just sell a bunch of cookies. And then we also get cookies. And I the cookies oh fair daisies brownies oh i was right junior scout

cadet okay sixth to eighth grade you're not a cadet seniors nine to ten or nine to ten ambassadors 11 to 12 maybe Maybe I was a senior. I can't remember. I earned zero badges. My mother would be like, don't you wanna do this to get your badge? And I was like, grow up, no. Yeah, I'm really thinking this was just like,

this experience painted your idea of the cookie and and i understand it it's okay but i don't think the cookies deserve that that's the whole you know the cookies i view separate than the organization they are they are are together they work in conjunction but i feel like the quality of the cookie doesn't have anything to do with how the group is run. Okay. I mean, if that's how you feel. I mean, I don't know. I'm just like not down with the Girl Scouts.

I hear you. They're not for me. I'm sure they've saved a lot of people's lives and like people are happy and stuff, whatever. But like, uh-uh. I had things to do, people to see. I did not have time to be at these meetings. I also can't remember what we talked about at these meetings. Hmm.

I don't either, because it's not really, like, Boy Scouts, where you're, like, in the woods, like, making fire and using rope, right? Is that what Boy Scouts do? I like in the woods, like making fire and using rope, right? Is that what Boy Scouts do? I didn't use any rope. I feel like Boy Scouts is more like survival stuff. And then Girl Scouts is, I don't know. Is it just selling cookies? Maybe.

I gotta say, I do love the Boy Scout uniform. It is fabulous. Is this like green shorts or something? No, it's blue. Blue little shorts and then they have like a little twisty tie. The stated mission of the Boy Scouts of America is to prepare young people to make ethical and moral choices over their lifetimes by instilling them the values of the scout oath and law. They are trained in responsible citizenship, character development, and self-reliance through participation in a wide range of stuff.

Okay, now what do Girl Scouts do? Interesting. Girls discover the fun, friendship, and power of girls together. Girls grow courageous and strong through a wide variety of enriching experiences such as field trips, skill building sports clinics, community service projects, cultural exchanges, and environmental stewardships. We did go like camping once, but it was just staying in a big house and I wanted to go home. So I fell in the lake and my mother was like, she was like, you did that on purpose. I was like, I sure didn't,

but please let us go home. And she was like, no, we're not going home. We are here to stay. Now you're wet. I was like, oh my God, I guess I really fucked this up for me. oh my God, I guess I really, fuck this up for me. I forgot how much I've repressed, how much I hated Girl Scouts. Yeah, I didn't know any of this. Oh, Jordan says she slept in a museum. You were a Girl Scout, Jordan?

I was a Girl Scout and I am on board with Nicole. I hated it. Thank you. I hated, I only got to brownie level, but I truly, I remember we had to do a like show and tell or performance and I was like this is my moment I'm a musician I'm a play a harmonica why harmonica I don't know I played a harmonica and I literally just had girls just like staring at me like and I was like that that was the moment where I was like, I don't trust any of you. But when we slept in a museum, the museum was like closed and it was just a bunch of Girl Scouts like in the area.

I think it was living in Denver, Colorado at the time. And I just remember like I could not sleep because it was just a bunch of taxidermied animals around me. And I just was like okay I can't do this yeah it's bad okay I can see that but the cookies are a different story thank you you can get a better cookie at a grocery store that That I agree with. I mean, they're just, they're whatever. Jessica said, I love the girlies who post up in front of the weed shops to sell cookies.

They are really smart. They're smart. They were outside of the grocery store near me, and the girl was like, so each box is $5, and if you get four, it's $20. And I was like, yes like i was like you can't fool me i will get four but don't act like you said something different if you made it

sound like it was a deal like if you get four boxes it's only twenty dollars because they're teaching these girls nothing no they're teaching them how to hustle. I guess so. Yeah, I guess that's like use that language to make it seem like someone's getting a deal. Mm-hmm. And it worked. I was like, yes, I will take four. I understand what's happening here. I don't care. I just, I don't know.

They're not for me. It's okay. They're not for everybody. I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know if I've ever shown you this picture of me, but it's like my sister and some girls like in a line and I'm off to the side and I look like a demon. You have shown me.

That is from a Girl Scout meeting. Oh, interesting. I see. You hated it. I just, okay. I am not here for forced friendships. Like, let me do my own fucking thing as you understand that do my own playdates like i don't need forced friendships where we earn badges okay for my

people do so you'll do well let the friends who can make friends make friends and the people who can't put them in girl scouts i wonder if there's gonna be an adult girl scout who's mad at me because of this bring it on bitch i'll fight you that's how i'll get my badge by fighting you fight all the girl scouts yes i'll get my fight my fight club girl scout fight club offshoot yeah they're like don't talk about it after ambassadors it's fight club honestly if that were real i would have stayed in girl scouts i would have been like let me fight these bitches i don't like this so let me fight them should we answer questions let's answer a query or two yeah all right for this week i have two pieces of chair content for our beloved segment, sit sheer with such air.

Yes. All right. So the first one, and maybe you'd seen this tweet, it went viral, but someone sent it to us and I figured it was worth looking at. Um, so sheer, would you describe this image for me?

Oh, yes. Many people tag me in this. It's, um, a shelf and it's full. It's a, it's one,

two, three, four, five, six, six levels of shelves. And it's full it's a it's one two three four five six six levels of shelves and it's there's miniature chairs all over and they're all different chairs and they're all really cute and also i think maybe some of these are ones that nicole got me because nicole has started me off on a little miniature chair collection as well the The bottom row is chairs that I've gotten you. Yeah. I think I'm going to search for this white circular one

to give you. I like that one. Oh, yeah. With the red inside? Yeah, it looks like the men in black chair. Do you remember the scene where Will Smith's character is taking the test, and then he drags the chair over to the little coffee table?

I don't remember that scene. Are you kidding? How many times have you seen Men in Black? Probably once. Once? How many times have you seen it? It is a classic. At least 42 times.

classic at least 42 times the your choice of memory of movies to watch over and over again is astounds me i'm like i maybe watched it when it came out uh what are you talking about free guy you're talking about free guy is this no i do understand why you know it's definitely not a free guy read i love free guy and i i understand why you watch it all the time okay thank you guy and I understand why you watch it all the time. Okay, thank you. But you don't like Men in Black? I never said I didn't like Men in Black. I just said I don't like it so much that I've watched it

multiple times since it's come out. The third one? I sobbed in theaters. I don't think I saw the third one. There was such a touching moment. I don't want to ruin it for you. Okay. Also, you don't need to watch the second one. You can watch the first one and then the third one,

and the story is complete. Is the third one with Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson? That's the fourth one. My mistake. I did not know there were four. Get real. That's not even... To me, it's not even canon.

They were trying to reboot the franchise in the weirdest way possible and called it Men in Black. And I was like, this is not Men in Black. This is two people in black. I see. I see. Well, the question was, is Tashir's favorite number four because it looks like a chair? The square kind of four and then they drew a four and then turned it upside down and it does look like a chair

it does look like a chair is that why you like the number four maybe i don't think i've ever thought of it like that but i i'm gonna say not no likeconsciously, my brain's like, this is pleasing to me for some reason. Does that mean my favorite number eight is because it looks like balls? Well, when you had told me your favorite number was eight,

you said it was because it looked like a snowman. Yeah, but now I'm really thinking about it. Because you love chairs and I love dick. So I was like, hey, ball. Yum. Yum? Yeah, teabag me, daddy. Yeah, yum.

Okay, okay. Sure. Maybe, yeah. You know what? Maybe. Okay, okay, sure. Maybe, yeah, you know what? Maybe.

When you told me you liked the number eight, you said it was because of snowmen. Ah, I changed my mind. Way less pure. Yeah, real nasty. Uh-oh. Okay. Help, my friend can't cook leave her alone i'm kidding let's start with i absolutely love the pod i think you all give the best friendship advice i'm here because i'm

truly at a loss so my best friend and i live together and I love her dearly, but she cannot cook. But she insists on cooking at least once a week for both of us. And I push through these absolutely disgusting meals, trying my hardest not to pass away between bites. It's so bad that I have to sneak into the kitchen at night and bleach everything because she handles raw meat so wild and freely that i don't think uh that if i don't we would be patient zero and one for a mutilate a mutated salmonella outbreak the issue is her mom is an amazing cook she actually used to be a chef in a restaurant however my friend hasn't attempted to learn anything, but mimics what she thinks her mom is doing and everything comes out horrible. She won't take any suggestions from anyone and gets super defensive if there's any criticism. Everything is either undercooked,

I'm risking listeria with every bite, or it's overcooked. I need a spear and a hatchet to get through it. I've tried the I'm not too hungry and I've covered enough meals with seasoned salt that I know that my blood pressure is increasing exponentially. I suggested that we follow a recipe and cook together, but she turns it into a freestyle and deviates mid-plan fucking it up. I refuse to Uber Eats eats or door dash simply off

principle but now i just don't know what to do i don't want to hurt my friend's feelings or be mean so please help me i'm begging signed fed up fat boy That's tough. Oh, God, that is tough. Because she loves cooking, but she is bad at it. And she gets mad at criticism? Those are some other issues. Sounds very frustrating. I mean, midway through, I was like, suggest a recipe. And then they got to, we do a recipe. And people follow it.

Maybe it's like, you're like, okay, if we do a recipe, we have to honor the recipe. There's a reason why it's published. We cannot deviate. But then that's not going to be helpful. Let's see. Oh, I wonder if our friend has ever asked her if she likes the food does she seem to be enjoying herself or does she just like the art of cooking and then you all don't have to eat it but then what do you do with the food just throw it away

i guess i don't know this is tough maybe i don't want this person to lie but like maybe you could be like this is my grandmother's recipe and we have to stick to the exact measurements or else it'll remind me of her death and and i. And I want to honor the life, the beautiful life she lived and the loving relationship we had. And if you do that, you cannot use a printout of a recipe.

You got to write it down. Write it on a note card. And then yellow it somehow, like spill things on it. Put it in tea bag water. somehow like spill things on it put it in tea bag water uh-huh i mean i also don't want our friend to lie but i want our friend to eat good you know more than six days a week um yeah maybe do that be like here's my grandmother's recipe do not deviate from it please i'll remember what it tastes like and yeah and

if it doesn't taste right it will remind me of her demise which was violent um it was not due to old age it was a violent violent horrific circumstance really really bad for me and my family oh maybe what if their friend suggests a cooking class but like for something way different than each of them have been cooking like a cooking class for like spanish dishes or something and then because like it's fun neither of us know how to cook this stuff and then they learn it together and maybe can try to like replicate those things at home yeah and a teacher can go, hey, you gotta wash your hands after you touch the chicken. Hey, you just can't put that raw meat on a plate.

Do you wash your chickens this year? Yes. Okay, I recently, I'll say his name, Mateo cooked for me. And I was like, Mateo, do you wash your chicken? He was like, no, Nicole, it cooks off. And I was like, okay, I'm eating it, so I have to wash it.

And he's like, I know, it's the great debate between white people and black people. And he's like, Nicole, you're just splashing you know, salmonella everywhere. And I was like, sure, but then I bleached the sink after. Like, I was like, yeah, the sink. Yeah, yeah, also that.

I was like, are we scooping things out of the sink yeah yeah also that I was like are we are we scooping things out of the sink although I did watch a TikTok of a lady who put food in her sink and served it out of her sink oh god it was pretty exciting

people are doing crazy shit on TikTok someone like cooked pasta in their toilet did you send me that video it was like I don't think so

it was like they put a strainer over the toilet and then like put boiling water on it I don't remember so. It was like they put a strainer over the toilet and then like put boiling water on it. I don't remember. It was like all on top of a toilet. And I was like, why? And I'm sure it was for views or whatever to like be extreme.

But I was like, why is any of this happening? It's very upsetting. I watched a TikTok where they said, it's a dump meal. And then this woman dumped noodles on a table with marinara sauce on the table. And the kids were like, what? Why? And she's like,

and they're like, but what about plates? And I was like, good, you raised them right. They think this is weird. I don't know. TikTok is wild. Yeah. It just shows you how crazy people are people are crazy and now i keep getting served these white women who make these like fajita quesadilla dishes like casseroles so they like line the pan with tortillas

and then they put ground beef taco seasoning a big block of velveta and then like and then some vegetables and they stir it up and then they put the tortillas on top and fold it up and then put it in the oven for a real long time and then they take it out and it doesn't look good and then they cut it up and they're like, mmm. It's very strange. I wonder, maybe the roommate is watching TikTok videos and is like, I can go rogue. Maybe. These people are going rogue. I can go rogue. Interesting.

Ask her where she's getting these recipes from. And like, why? Maybe she's like being defiant too. She's like, my mom was a chef. I don't want to do that. I want to cook in my own way. She was cooking for other people. I'm cooking for myself.

Yeah, she's the definition of that song. I want to break free. I don't want to be shackled to health reviews and inspections. Take these shackles off my feet so I can dance. So I can dance. I just want to praise him. I loved Mary Mary. I thought they were really good.

And then they just like went away. Also. I mean, I know I'm sure there is like people making really great, like pop gospel, but there was an era. Possible. Possible. But there was an era where it was like these were radio hit quality songs that you would just hear wherever.

And it doesn't matter that it was gospel. It was like Kirk Franklin, Mary Maryary mary um yolanda adams like just people where you're like this is just a fun song yeah what happened i don't know i guess just stop being popular i mean maybe someone could remake wop to like want to pray want a prayer want a prayer i got this i want to pray i don't know i i'm just trying to you know put it to a fun beat yeah yeah or like Like, when you get the little communion chips, and then the wine, cranberry juice situation,

like a wet-ass cracker, or like a wet-ass pastry. Ooh, yes. See, we're giving ideas to anybody out there who's a gospel singer. Make a gospel box. We are hungry for gospel. Oh, so we're going to end this episode, but before we go, I want to say that we're

going to do a clip show special coming up soon, reminiscing over favorite moments for the show. We want to hear from you on what your favorite moments have been, and then we'll talk about it and listen to them because our 200th episode's coming up. Can you believe? We're old.

No. We've been doing this for a while. No, I don't believe it. 200? It sounds like a big number, but that's how long we've been talking to each other. Too much talking. So leave us a voicemail at 424-645-7003

or email us at Nicole and Sashira at gmail.com and tell us what a favorite moment of yours has been. And do Kimmy on the keys a favor and just give as much detail as you can on what episode the clip is from so that she can find it for us and we can talk about it. Yay. Timestamps are a thing. You can also do a timestamp so it'll make it even more easy for her. Yes. And if you have any more queries or questions for us you can email

nicoleandstasheer.com or call our text 424-625- go to nicoleandstasheer.com and see what's there see what happens we might not get it we also have merch

at podswag.com slash best friend we have transcripts for our new episodes you can check them out on our show page We have merch at podswag.com slash best friend. We have transcripts for our new episodes. You can check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. Lastly, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. That's the easiest way to support this show oh spooky it's the spooky season february oh wait no march we're back to the spooky season like history month is over so it gets spooky again for us oh no

bye month is over so it gets spooky again for us bye bye