Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Loves Friendship w/ Natasha Rothwell

Episode Date: September 4, 2024

This week, Nicole and Sasheer welcome writer, actress, and friend Natasha Rothwell to discuss her new show, How To Die Alone. Then, Nicole and Sasheer dig into their years-long friendship with Natasha yet they still can’t pinpoint the beginnings of their own friendship, and a quick google search reveals the real reason why turkeys die in the rain.  Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions, Sex and the City theories or Furniture Recommendations: [e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hi, Nicole! Hello! I'm raring to go today! You sure are! Yes! Because! Oh? We have a guest!

We sure do! Oh my goodness, we have Emmy-nominated actress, writer, and producer Natasha Rothwell here on the show. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah White Lotus and is returning for another spin on the lotus in season three. Another round on the pedal. She's growing more lotuses. Climbing on that spin. And now she's leading co-show running and producing a new comedy, How to Die Alone. It is on Hulu.

And it premieres September 13th on hulu it's natasha rothwell thanks y'all thanks for having me thank you for coming in and doing it and fun fact we've known natasha for a very long time really long time yeah 15 years probably something like that probably yeah i mean yeah i guess we've known each other for 15 years i don't know since 2009 i can't do math i've got i got to new york in 08 okay and i was i knew y'all before y'all knew me so we did meet in 08 no we did not I was, I knew y'all before y'all knew me. So we did meet in 08. No, we did not because I didn't move there till 2009. But Natasha was there in 08 and we knew Natasha. But that's her journey.

I was there in 2009. She can be there in 2008 and that be true and I got there in 2009 and that's also true. I don't know. When did Doppelganger form? 2010? Yes. Because that's when I remember, I remember seeing you around the hood before doppelganger yes and being like whoa what a beyonce dude and i remember seeing you and i was

like damn she's funny yeah yeah yeah where did you come from again where'd you start yeah where'd you come from they let me in i've been invited to this space. I can show my papers. Where did I come from? It was wild. Where did you come from? I know. I say terrible phrases.

Where did you come up doing comedy? Where did I come up doing comedy? I was doing improv in college at University of Maryland. There's a group there called Erasable Inc. And so I did that for forever and then did the main stage company at Washington Improv Theater. And then we would take stuff to Del Close. And so every year I'd go to New York and see shows. I think that's where I first saw you. I saw like Pally. I saw like the old school regime of UCB play. Yeah. And then when I finally finished up my time in D.C., swung by Tokyo and then landed in New York. What were you doing in Tokyo? Swung by Tokyo? Swung by Tokyo.

I lived there for a year. I performed at the Tokyo Comedy Store and taught English. You know, just real weird shit. That's fucking cool. It was really wild and random, but I was so scared to move to New York. You lived in Tokyo for a year and then were scared to move to New York? That was less scary than New York to me because it was just like an adventure versus like committing to a career path. It was just like, oh, let me go. And this was what I told myself.

I was like, I've got to like fill my creative cup before I spill it out when I get to New York. And I love that. Had all of these adventures and then went to New York. And it did help me insofar as it was just like, if I could do that. Yeah. If I can do that, then I'm going to be all right. Yeah. I tried to do that exact same thing. In Tokyo? Yeah. Not the program, but I worked at Disney World. Yes. I found out later.

As you know. You are so mad. She hates learning information later. She's like, I should have known this years ago. I should have known. I should know everything. Everything first. So they have Tokyo Disney.

Yes. And I was like, I'm already in the Disney fam. I'm getting the casting breakdowns. That's right. I'm going to audition for this role that was like a big band jazz singer in some jazz show in Tokyo Disney. Huh. Have I ever sung jazz? No.

Do I have any experience singing with the band? Not at all. But I was like, this is my path. This is what I want to do. I was actually not trying to end up in Tokyo. So I had been teaching in DC, like doing teaching artist stuff, like with a bunch of the theaters. And I was like, oh, I'm going to try to teach theater in London and tried to get a visa, a year long visa there. and they don't really love us I think it has to do with the revolution of war sure they make it very hard for U.S. citizens to get like long-term visas and so my search kept moving further and further east and so this place in Tokyo was just like they're teaching English through theater. Like they needed like art, like an arts person, but

only could give me part-time work. And I was like, credit card, put a, bought a one-way ticket, just threw everything at it and then went. And then while I was there, the Tokyo Comedy Store, it's like boom Chicago, Tokyo's version of that. I sent them just this email being like, here's my resume in comedy. What can I do? And they're like, no one? Whoever? Like, we just found someone to come do comedy that actually knows it to, like, be a part of their company. And so I would perform and do, like, UCB type shit. That's cool.

That's wild. How fun. That's very fun. Have you been back to Tokyo since? No, but I want to. I want to go so bad. Have you not been? I've never been to Tokyo. That

really surprises me. I know. I would love everything there. You would love it. And they would love you. Oh. I'm just saying, Black in Japan, that is like the show that I need to write after this. Really? Yeah. Because it was an experience, but it was just like. Do they take pictures with you and stuff? Oh, I was touched oh I was touched because it's very homogenous everybody oh it is one of the more homogenous places I've ever been and I went there thinking I'm just gonna escape but it was like being covered in polka dots in a land of stripes oh when I was there it was when Barack won in 08 Michelle And so I would ride my bike and I'd hear, Obama! So good! And like they'd shout

and I would just be waving like I had won. Thank you. I'm just like, yes. Yes, we did win. Yes, we can. Yes, we can and we did. We did.

Oh, that is so funny. Oh my God. Oh, you gotta go. What a dream. Did you know Japanese when you went? No, not at all. And I still don't. Like, I can order a beer and tell someone to, like, fuck off.

But that's important. Yes. How do you order a beer? Namabiru onigashimasu. Oh, that sounded. Oh, my God. Any of your Japanese listeners will be like, close enough. Close enough.

Okay. She asked for a beer. She asked for a bear, but we know. We get it. It's been a long time. Yeah. God, that's so fun. I've never lived abroad. Well, I just feel like you would be like a duck to water there.

I love ducks. Yeah. And water. And water. I need a water, baby. Did your, because you're a military brat as well. We have that in common, both Air Force, right? Yes, yeah, yeah.

And you lived abroad? I was born in Okinawa, Japan. That's right. Yeah. It was coming back to me. I was like, I think that's, yes. Yeah. Okay.

But I only stayed there for like 10 months, so I don't remember anything. Yeah. I have that connection to Wichita. I was born there, know nothing about it. Wichita I was born there know nothing about it Wichita Kansas I should have said a different country just to fuck with you Wichita Wichita England England yeah how many places did you move to oh um we didn't it was a lot I went to two high schools, two middle schools, two elementary schools, and they were Florida, Illinois, New Jersey, Maryland, Kansas. And then my older sister was New Mexico, Albuquerque, and then Inzerlich, Turkey. We lived there for two years. Wow. That is wild.

You moved around just as much though yeah not as much but also my parents played when I was nine so we stopped after a while got it but it was yeah Japan Kentucky Texas Virginia California and then Indiana and I was there till I graduated high school yeah yeah yeah just New Jersey I can't even imagine that's where folks are now, though. Cherry Hill. Oh! The mall down there is elegant. Yes, it is. Elegant even. Yeah. The Cherry Hill Mall is it.

It is something to... It is it. It is the place to be. A destination. Oh, okay. Jersey is like a hierarchy of malls. I didn't realize. That's true.

It's very true. Wow. It's mall culture. Yeah. Or was when I lived there. There's like Paramus. Paramus is beautiful. That mall. Stunning. Stunning. Not as good was when I lived there. There's like Paramus. Paramus is beautiful. That mall.

Stunning. Stunning. Not as good as the Cherry Hill Mall. Of course. The Mommoth Mall was my local mall. Not a great mall. Kind of dumpy, but like allowed to hang out there. Freehold Mall, a little bit more upscale.

Oh. Woodbridge Mall. Ooh, baby. I feel like the kids today, they don't get the mall culture like we did. No, I loved malls. I loved them. You just walk around. Well, malls are also like a dying breed. did. No, I loved malls. You just walk around. Well, malls are also like a dying breed.

Yeah. There's not many malls anymore. Yeah. When we were shooting in Toronto for How to Die Alone, we were, because it takes place in JFK. And so we were trying to replicate that. And we toured a bunch of just abandoned malls. Wow. And it's so pristine.

They're like, it wasn't even like there were no squatters. It was just kind of like, oh, there's all of these malls. Wow. And it's so pristine. They're like, it wasn't even like there were no squatters. It was just kind of like, oh, there's all of these malls. They're just these relics of the past. But they were just like, yeah,

the little microcosm that made me feel important by Sbarro. You know what I mean? Just because the guy knew my order. Pizza. Pizza.

More pizza. Yeah. God, I love malls. I bet you in five years people are gonna be like here's a new thing shopping in person and everyone's gonna be like whoa yeah i yeah i get to leave my house to go try on a shirt how novel that's crazy when you shop in person and a customer service representative comes up to you are you like yes no i'm like get away yeah i'm like stop bothering me it's so jarring i'll do it my i'll figure it out it's so jarring when i worked retail they'd be like make sure you ask the people and i'd be like hi do you do you want

do you need me they never do they don't want me they want you to unfold the jeans and throw them they want me to clean up after them. That's all they want. That's right. And then the ones that actually do want you, that's just a trap. They need too much. I worked at Target when I was like 14. Or not 14. That would have been child labor laws.

I was 16, 15 to 16. And I just remember whenever someone would be super chatty and be like, actually, what do you think of this? And I'd be like, oh, man. Oh, my God, you need friends. They want a friend. They want a friend. Yeah.

I worked at Lane Bryant when I was 17, and there was something about being 17, lifting a woman's massive set of titties to, like, get under there to broth at her. I had a Lane Bryant credit card. Ooh! And I'm, like, actually jealous because, like, that was where I shopped

in high school and college. I mean, it was where I shopped in high school and college I mean it's where I shopped too was the discount like legit yeah so every those couple months yeah the Lane Bryant dollars we had a thing called Sophie's Sophie's closet I called it Sophie's palooza Sophie was the ideal worker so there was like a poster of Sophie and at like every couple of months you got 55 percent off instead of the 40 percent off. Wow. Because you were in car. You had to like wear the clothes. Yeah. Which was funny because sometimes thin people would work there and they couldn't wear the clothes.

It was an interesting place. Yeah. I went there like for those that don't know like um I don't know what their digital dollar distribution is like now but when you would buy a shit ton of plus size clothes there in high school like I did you would get like a Lane Bryant buck yes to spend in the store yes to get you to come back and it had like a little expiration on it and so I'd always forget but when you, that was the best day. That was the nicest day. It was $25 off every $75.

That's right. And it was these long things that they would staple to the receipt. Then you had to keep it. And keep the receipt. Yeah. And then women would come in and be like, these. Oh, my God. And you'd have to be like, sorry, the 7-7 jeans are excluded from the promotion. The cacique bra.

And the triple F is not available. Sorry. Sorry about it. The Spanx are also excluded. Boy, oh boy, this is bringing back. I worked there for a long time. Did you? So long.

I worked there in New York, too. And I got paid $7.50 an hour to live in New York City. Oh, wow. I was scamming. I would take people's shifts and not tell. So then I would go into overtime. Oh, hustler. And those checks.

Delicious. That was me at Blockbuster. That was like my main gig. That was like, I was there through, because I had two jobs. It was Target and Blockbuster during the summer, but then it just turned into Blockbuster full time. And I did that until college. Like I got away up to like assistant manager and I would come and do it during the summers. They wouldn't let me be an assistant manager at Lane Bryant.

Why? I was too irresponsible. I'd come in drunk a lot. Well, then that makes sense. But I did the job. There you go. Do you have to be sober to fold clothes? I don't think so. I think maybe it's like you have to be sober to manage people.

I can tell you what to do pretty drunk. And you often do. And you often do. Do this. Take me around. Did you have like best friends at your job? This is a question for you too. Did you have like best friends when you were working?

I would have people I would prefer to work with i wouldn't say like best friends but like i'd light up when i'd see like certain folks were like oh yeah they're gonna be working tonight because yeah at blockbuster you would like decide what movie you'd watch like this is totally you're not supposed to put on like a real movie and like the tvs that played in a blockbuster they have like a trailer with all the stuff oh we would always would always be like, oh, let's put on like a movie. Yeah. And so if you get on the schedule with someone whose taste you really like and they are really excited, Spice Girls is coming out.

And it's like, yeah, let's just watch that on repeat. Oh, that's fun. My friends are Mr. Henry and Miss Arletha. OK. I wonder if they're still living. They were very old. And they worked at Lanebrook? Yeah, Mr. Henry was the security guard.

Oh, okay. I was going to say, I don't know many men who work at Lanebrook. Yeah, he was the security guard. Well, my Anthony was the manager who had a wife with a gap tooth. And my key holder was this woman, Candace. And as this woman with a gap tooth was walking towards me, Candace whispered in my ear, my mother always said, women with gap teeth suck good dick. And I was like, I was like 18 years old.

And I was like, oh, and that's all I could think of when this woman was like, hello, how are you? And I was like, you suck that man, that skinny man's dick. But what is the, I don't understand the science behind it. I don't get it either. I don't understand. i don't understand the science behind i don't get it either i don't understand is it i don't know maybe it sucks more air science so it suctions onto it or like like what or maybe like the saliva has another pathway to go around. Yeah, to get it real sloppy.

Oh, boy. I don't know. But I just, it's burned in my memory. It's funny what like adults say to us when we're kids. Yes. We're so impressionable. You don't realize. You're like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna remember that forever.

For the rest of my life. For the rest of my life. My mom told me that turkeys are so dumb that when it rains, they drown because they look up at the sky with their beak open because they're like, what's that? And then they just drink a bunch of water and drown. And I thought that for like until adulthood. Right. Recently, I said that out loud to somebody and they're like, there's no way that can be true. And I was like, no, I'm pretty sure that's true. She grew up on a farm.

That has to be it. And then Googled it. It's not true. Okay. They have esophagus. They know how to stop things from going down their throat. They also know what nature is. They're not like, what's right?

Did you call your mother and ask why she told you that? I never did. You gotta. I gotta hear this reasoning. Well, I think I was looking at this up on Snopes.com and they were like, that is a common thing that people say, but there are a lot of turkey deaths during the rain.

Because that was the wildest sentence I've ever heard. There are a lot of turkey deaths during the rain. Because if they're on a farm and they're outside, wildest sentence I've ever heard. There are a lot of turkey deaths during the rain. Because if they're on a farm and they're outside, they are trying to escape the rain. So if they're against a fence or something, they'll claw each other to climb over each other to jump over.

Yeah, exactly. Do you think Missy Elliott grew up on a farm and that's why she wrote, I can't stand the rain? She's like, turkeys always die. They always die. Gets my window. I, my mom, so I grew up super religious and my mom refused to call deviled eggs, deviled eggs. So I grew up calling them angel eggs. And it was when I was like at some sort of like school like field day race or whatever and there were deviled eggs i remember asking for an angel oh no and they're like what and i was like never mind i never said anything mortified yeah she set you up that's not nice

that isn't nice at all but it is is hilarious. Yeah. That's so funny. She's like, how dare you say angel eggs? And her reasoning is just like, we ain't saying the devil. We ain't doing anything of the devil in this house. And I was just like, what? Why are they called deviled eggs? I don't know. What did the devil do to them?

Made them delicious. Maybe. I don't like deviled eggs because there's mustard in them. Do you not like mustard? No. Oh. I think it's really bad. Really?

I think it's a stain on our society. I just, you can't get the taste out if it's on. Oh, my perfect hot dog is just mustard. I love a plain hot dog with mustard. Oh, did Jess look up deviled eggs? Oh, here we go. Deviled eggs comes from the 18th century culinary term deviling, which meant to combine food with hot or spicy seasonings to create a deviled dish. So many other things were deviled, I guess. Well, they're deviled. Is hot chicken deviled chicken? Maybe.

Some groups of people prefer to call the dish stuffed eggs, salad eggs, dressed eggs. In some regions of the south and the midwest angel eggs so many people did call them angel eggs i love them that's probably why though yeah because it's like the bible belt don't want to say they don't want to say devil okay that actually makes me feel yeah it wasn't just your mom it wasn't just my mom there was some other mom out there being like, these are angel eggs. Angel eggs, baby. They lay eggs and we eat them.

Ew, it was the worst visual. An angel laying an egg. And it's like, yum, yum, yum. Gotta scoop them up. Can I ask you a question? Sure. In your new series, How to Die Alone, how does your character, Melissa, use friendships to navigate life after her near-death experience? Oh, well, she is trying to figure out how to grow her friendship circle actually like she pretty she has like a pretty small um group of friends she has one best friend named rory on

the show and she tries to open up to some friends she meets along the way because the near-death experience sort of like awakens her to the fact that maybe the friends that are in her life aren't the best for her so she like relies on them to sort of like audition this new version of herself yeah i like that do you have like do you have like a tight group of people or do you have a loose group a loose group i have a loose group? A loose group. I have a loose group. A loose group. Took a modium. They're tight as ever. No, I have a fairly loose group. And it's been a really interesting

sort of process of my circle has been shrinking over time. And I think that happens to a lot of people um and they don't really tell you that when you're just like rolling deep in your pack in your like 20s and it's just like oh yeah the circle will get smaller but mightier yeah um and i think it's also a virtue of having been an air force brat i have like friends different places so like i have a really close bestie that's like in south africa one that's here one in new york i have like friends different places. So like I have a really close bestie that's like in South Africa.

One that's here. One in New York. I have like there's it's loose, but they're strong. But it's hard, right? It is hard. Nobody tells you that like the way you live kind of dictates your friends. Like you're friends with kids. They're going to be inside with those kids.

Or they're going to be at Disney or Knott's Berry Farms. Yeah. Or where else? What are the other options where you could take kids? Knott's Berry. A playground. A playground. Bush Gardens.

Bush Gardens. Bush Gardens. The grocery store. SeaWorld. Gelson's. Target. Albertson's. Yeah.

I don't go to any of those places. Marshall's. No, but it's very difficult difficult especially when you're working on your own shit right and as you begin to grow and change as a human not everyone in your camp is on the same growth oh definitely yeah and so it's very interesting to sort of have to make those decisions along the way that's why I think like people are so drawn to the both of you because like it is exampled friendship and like what long-term what it takes to maintain it and it's just like really truly hashtag goals to have like someone that you want to be a witness to your life because I do think that's what friendship is ultimately

I like that you're a witness to my life you're a witness to my life. Yeah. You're a witness to my life. I've been looking. You have been witnessing. Yeah. You do need someone to be like, remember that? Yeah. You know what I mean? It's nice. It's nice. It is nice.

It's also hard. Nobody tells you that, like, friendships are just a non-sexual relationship and you have to talk. You have to work things out. Sometimes Tashira'll be like are you feeling some type of way about this thing and i'm like i'm conflict averse and i don't want it but i guess i feel some type of way i'm sorry oh i feel very similar it is it friendships i think get so devalued especially if you are a single person romantically. Yeah.

And that's part of we touch on that on the show. Like the difference between being alone and being lonely. Right. And so there's a vast difference. And I feel like I've spent the better part of my 20s terrified I was going to die a single woman. And wanting to have a man come and ride. Not rebel. I was going to say ride up on a horse but riding all the things on a horse but to me it was just like that is a that needs to happen and obviously 20 plus years of therapy it's just like oh that isn't the pain that needs

to be satiated it's the fact that I'm not really opening up to my friends because I'm holding my breath for this other thing to happen I'm not really investing in these conversations or honoring the love that's in my life that's platonic or familial so um I think that those relationships now are so deep like and the friendship like breakups that I've had in the last 10 years have hurt me more than any of the like romantic relationships. You know what I mean? Because it is. You have to talk to them and you have to be yourself and show up authentically. And it's hard.

It is hard. Really, really hard. Yeah. I like friendship. I do too. I like friendship too. Yeah, I do too. Friendship's nice. Like when your friends show up and you're like, too. Yeah, I do too. Friendship's nice. Like when your friends show up and you're like, oh man, these people love me.

When did you guys know that you were just like, oh, this is for life. Like this is my hetero life, mate. We're in it. Very quickly. Very quickly, yeah. It was. Like the intimacy was there off the jump? Pretty soon.

Yeah. Like the intimacy was there off the jump? Pretty, pretty soon. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like, we bought each other best friend necklaces and had no questions about it. Nope. No, like. I love that.

Like, is that weird? Like, we're just like, no. Yes. And I'll wear it. And I'll wear it. Proudly. I still have it. I do too.

And. I love that. It was, so we had done like this show together. And then we met up again at McManus. And then I don't know if we did a show and then hung out and then you came to see me working at the training center. But it was like it felt like that sequence of events. We just started hanging out every day. Yeah.

It's just like very easy. Yeah. Did you find it hard as a military brat to be vulnerable in friendships? Oh, what about you? Big time. Yeah. Yeah. That was something I definitely had to work on in therapy because I yeah, every two years I was going to leave. So after a while, it's kind of like, well, why do I need to invest in this? You don't got to go deep. Yeah. Because I'm not going to stay. I'm going to go. Yeah. So eventually I was like, Yeah, because I'm going to go.

Yeah. So eventually I was like, okay, it's okay to call them again. Yeah. Let them know you care. It's okay to like be open. I don't know. I don't remember when that switch happened. But to meet each other and to feel that intimacy immediately.

Yeah. It's rare for myriad of reasons, but given you know our backgrounds i think also maybe it what because it was so easy with nicole like that's how i knew it was special because i hadn't had that before she's the only person i've ever met where i was like i want to spend all day with you yeah i just truly sit behind her the ucb training center desk. Oh, I remember. Answer the phone. That was the first time I saw you at the training center. And I had gotten, this was, well, I'd seen you around before and we had met, but I had just gotten on the weekend team, Curfew. Yes.

And I was teaching her something and you were just like, my nemesis. This is upsetting. Everyone has the wildest stories of an interaction with me at that desk. It was incredible. I laughed so hard. And you were just like, because you had the desk, you have to imagine this like long desk magazines and shit this was like at the what was it it was right on the sixth avenue that training center yeah it was uh i think 420 west 30th street that's right fourth floor and i just remember you're dead you're like my

and then because i'm just like neurotic as fuck i just mean like and then i was like wait does she think I'm her nemesis? No, it was definitely a joke, but like insane. Who does that? You, which is what makes you magic. Everybody has a story of me acting unhinged at that desk. It was the best. It was the fucking best.

That was very funny. That's so wild. I love it. Well, I'm glad you still talked to her after that. Yeah, truly. I loved watching Nicole perform. It is one of those things because I was the only in my troop back in D.C. And so to come to New York and to see diversity represented and not that there was tons

we can all admit that it was just like mostly you know sprinkles sprinkles little sprinkles but it was just a joy you play with so much joy and I I just fucking love it and I'm in my head constantly that's why I love improv because it gets me out of my head and it just like yeah you're in flow when you're on stage both of you are thank you thank you well you too you're super like you're very quick yeah we did a show together years and years and years and years and years and years ago I think it was a DCM show it was all black ladies oh yeah and you did we did this scene I think I was on the back line I think I was just giggling and didn't add a thing to it but you were a person on a train asking for like candy and not money.

And I thought that was just a funny choice. And you're like, I want blow pops, airheads. It was so stupid. It was so stupid. And I just remember it. I was like, boy, I love this. It was so funny. It's so freeing.

I haven't done it in a minute, but it was definitely before I was in therapy, I was doing improv. And I realize now hindsight being 2020, I'm like, oh, it was a therapeutic experience for me to do improv. Just the practice of trusting myself and like not questioning my decisions, which is what I do most days. Yeah. I've been dipping back into improv. You never stopped, right? Never stopped, baby.

You can't stop. During the pandemic, I said, I simply can't learn how to do an improv Zoom show. I simply don't have the bandwidth. That's a good time to take a break. I stopped during that. But yeah, besides that, no, I've just been doing it because it validates my insane choices. Because I do something that someone has to go, yes. Isn't that the best?

That is nice. That's the fucking best. This is a gift that you've given all of us. We have to do something with it. You gotta do something with it. Yeah, I do like that. Yeah, and I'm liking improv more now. I think I stopped because I was like, well, I only like performing with Nicole.

And if she's not around, I don't know what to do. I don't know any of you people. Don't know how you play? Don't like it. Bye-bye. Do you have a best friend necklace? Nope. No.

But now I'm like, oh, it's just fun to goof around and be silly. I do like it. Be silly. It's like playing. It's childlike. It really is. Making something out of nothing. And I worry about the children.

I don't know if they know how to play. I don't know. Like actual children? Yes. Yeah. Like pandemic children. Like they know Zoom and Scream. Yeah.

And their little like camp that they had for three years or whatever. And then they go to school and it's like, you're not in our bubble do you know what i mean yeah do they know how to play i don't know also they i i would not want to be growing up in an age where every little thing i do is recorded documented oh yeah like i can't imagine like thank fuck i did not have that growing up yes you know what i mean? Absolutely. That feeling of being watched all the time and just like there's never been more ways to connect to people, but they're so disconnected. Yes. And it's, yeah, it's going to be interesting to see what the next decade or generation will do. But do you have footage of you as a child?

100%. Do you? Yeah. I don't really. We had a camcorder. Yeah. And I remember it getting opened at Christmas and then it stayed in the closet. No video?

I don't think there's any footage of me as a child. There must be. Yeah, there must be. I really don't think so. Who would have it? My parents are dead. I know. Well, have you gone through everything in the storage everything

um yeah yeah i don't think there's video footage of there's video footage of me in high school singing turn back old man in godspell um that goes like what how does it go and journal foolish ways no no no no no no no

no no no no no no no no

no no no no no no no no

no no no no no no no no

no no no no no no no no

no no no no no no no no

no no no no no no no no

no no no no no no no no

no no no no no no no no

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no just what do you remember from that time? And then recreate them as if you were young again. If someone was recording,

it would look like this. Yeah. You should just do that for yourself. And then my therapist is like, so it's not working. Nothing we're doing is working out here. This has been a joke the whole time. Natasha, can I ask you, what is the best thing a friend has done for you? Hmm.

The best thing a friend has done for me is not believe me when I say I'm OK. Ah. is not believe me when I say I'm okay. Because I struggle with asking for help. And I have a very acute memory of when I first got my dog. Well, first of all, he wasn't a dog. He was a puppy. And a puppy and a dog are not the same thing. They sure are.

And I was lied to. So anyone who told me to get a puppy, I'd love it. Fuck you. But my dog, I love now. Like he, I love him more than people.

But at the time, I was just raising a baby and I don't want kids like in real life. And so this was me having to confront the thing

I didn't want the most. Yeah. And it was a mess and he was just barking. He was losing teeth because that's what dogs do. And he had gi most yeah and it was a mess and he was just barking he was losing teeth because that's what dogs do and he had giardia and there's shit everywhere and losing teeth losing teeth and my bestie Jen um that's when I knew I was like oh she's gonna be in my best friend circle like I know that I can rely on her I didn't want to be a mess in front of people yeah I wanted to present this like, I'm fine. Like, I'm fine.

And she called me. She's like, how's it going? I'm like, I'm fine. I'm fine. And then there was just a knock on the door. And she showed up with Sugarfish. And like, she's like, we're having dinner. And I was like, oh.

And it was just such a nice way to know that she could see me and understand. And there's the shorthand and just being like, oh, shit. Yeah. It's okay to need help and to have someone show up. That was the beautiful thing. That is nice. That's very valuable to have someone who's willing to take care of you, too. Yeah.

I'm really bad at receiving that. Yeah. Big time. Big time. Big time. Because I love taking care of other people, but it's hard to, yeah, engage in reciprocity

because I'm just like, no, I'm good. I'm fine. Whatever. And it's just like, girl, no, you're not. Reciprocity. That's a good word.

Hell, sorry. Yes. I'm neuro spicy. I love words. You're neuro spicy. Me too. Yay. What do you have? What do you have?

What do you have? What's the spice? You know, a little ADHD over here, a little OCPD over there. Just, you know, it's one of those things where getting to know myself and understanding how my brain works has been a real treat. I don't know if this has been your journey where it's just like, oh, it's kind of a superpower is what we have. What about you? I think so. Because I, I simply say things that people are like, I would never have thought about it that way. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, the brain is sick. But also, now that I understand how my brain works, like if I put something down, I kind of have to just go pick it up and put it away. Just do that right now. Yeah, I promise it'll be okay if you put it away.

I had an organizer come to my house and make it a little bit easier because that's great. I have I know where it goes. Yeah, that's great. That's great. I know know where it goes which is just like a real game changer where i'm just like it has a place it has a place yeah um but no i think it's been a gift to yeah to learn my brain is it does what it does and i think differently and it's made it easier to relate to other people in this industry because i'm just like oh we all narrow spicy everyone has a touch of something everyone's got a touch of something because i'll meet someone and be like ah you're rude motherfucker and i'm like oh no no no it's just maybe they're on the spectrum a little bit yeah and that's just how they relate to people and that's okay yeah yeah but then some people are fucking rude there are and sometimes there's no explanation. That's real. You don't like I have found myself being like defensive of people that are just using neuro spiciness as an excuse to behave poorly.

Yeah. I'm just like, come on. Yeah. What are we doing? What are we doing here? You're just an asshole. But no, we're a little special. I love it.

Just a little bit special. Can you describe a time where you and your friends laughed so hard it hurt your whole body? Yes. Edibles were involved. Edibles were involved. uh it was edibles were involved okay edibles were involved um and we were talking about uh someone that we had met who both told us stories about their life and background and we were swapping notes and we realized like how ludicrous the story, like it was clearly a lie,

but how at the time we were both so like, like invested in the story. And then I just remember we were just sitting, having drinks and edibles and comparing notes, but it started out being like, oh, I just met so-and-so. You would not believe their story.

So did you know they were stabbed like they were they were stabbed and then she was like oh wait no when i met she didn't tell me that but she did catch wild boar and like is bear grills this it was one of those moments where i was just like how the fuck in real time did i just not go okay i don't know but also like if i'm meeting you for the first time why are these the stories that you're telling yeah and so yeah we had a great like the kind where it's like the next day i was like did i work out no i didn't because i don't um and it felt yeah that's

a good one oh my god i love that when you talk to somebody else about somebody and you're like No, I didn't because I don't. And it felt, yeah. That's fun. Oh, my God. I love that when you talk to somebody else about somebody and you're like, they said this to me. And it's like, oh, they said this to me. Oh, well, they said this. This is a lie. They were lying. These are lies. Have you guys ever compared notes on someone that you've both met and had that realization?

I can't think of anything i feel like people don't tell you a lot that didn't sound nice that didn't sound nice at all you don't talk to me although we were on vacation once and we were doing a bit where we would take a picture and do that with something in the background and we met these people on a boat and i was doing that and then we would take a picture and do that with something in the background and we met these people on a boat and I was doing that and then Shira turned around and she was like, that's a fun bit that we do. We just, and they walked away from her. It was so funny. Talking to nobody.

And they're just like, oh no. All right, I was trying my hardest. Make friends, no one wanted it. It was so funny. But people tell me whatever's on their mind, and I don't know why. I was recently at Islands. Have you ever been to Islands, the burger place? It's a burger chain.

And our hostess or host was taking me and my friend to the table. And he's like, I'm seating you on the North Shore. And I was like, okay. I have never heard a host tell me what part of the island I'm seating you on the North shore. And I was like, okay, I have never heard a host tell me what part of the Island I'm sitting at an Islands. Um, I was in DC and I was closing my tab and the bartender was like, where are you off to now? And I was like, actually, I'm going to take a nap. He was like a nap. This is one of the best cities in America. Why would you take a nap? And I was like, I have something to do later. And he was like, well, you better be going out. And I was like, I just and then the person I was with was like, oh,

you weren't lying. People just say all of their thoughts and feelings to you. And I was like, they sure do. And I don't know why. You do have an energy where it's just like, because I think it is you are feel safe because like like you would you're up for any like anything. I feel like that's, like, the vibe. I don't feel safe to people. You don't feel safe? I don't think people feel safe around me. Like, I feel very unsafe.

I cannot speak to this woman. I cannot. Like, honestly, maybe not safe, but, like, I'm not inviting you in if I don't know you. Wait, you're, are you Virgo? No, Taurus. Taurus. I'm a Virgo. What are you? I'm Libra. I don't know you. Wait, you're, are you Virgo? No, Taurus. Taurus. I'm a Virgo. What are you?

I'm Libra. I don't know what the signs are. I don't know why I was like, what are you? I didn't know any of the shit until I moved to LA and now I'm, you know, a bitch got crystals.

But like, it's very fascinating, I think, in terms of like, don't, you know, trust it with your life, but it's just a fun, you know,

it's like Enneagram. Yeah. Like, what are you? Yeah. Do you know what trust it with your life, but it's just a fun, you know, it's like Enneagram. Yeah. Like, what are you? Yeah. Do you know what Enneagram is? No. I know who Enya is. It's like a person now.

I really like that one. And YouTube has a three hour loop of it. How do you know that? How do you know that? How do you know that? I was listening to it one day and I thought my dog Clyde was really enjoying it. So when I left, I was like, oh, I could play this for three hours for you. That's still a computer. That's a torture tactic.

You played in your own loop for your dog. He's like, what's happening? How did he learn to speak that day he played? He was like, no, no more. I hate Enya. That's funny. Also, there's a loop of Sex and the City, the theme song, that goes for like an hour and a half. How do you know this? Because I was loop of Sex and the City, the theme song, that goes for like an hour and a half.

How do you know this? Because I was playing the Sex and the City game, and in the instructions they say play the soundtrack to the movie, but that ended. So then I was like, what if we played the theme song, and then we found a loop of it. And then I was like, oh my god, what do your neighbors think? Like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, for like do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, for like two hours. And there's like a weird atonal horn at the end, like, and then it just starts over again.

Oh, that's funny. Oh. I just put on HGTV for my dog. Well, now I put on music with black people in it so he remembers me. Is it music videos? Sometimes it's music videos, but sometimes it's just like a live station on YouTube where it's just like a cartoon of a black person or a picture of a black person there. And I want him to look up and go, she'll be back. I want my dog to build me a deck.

You learn something. Learn something. Learn. Builds me something. You come back and the Property Brothers are like, your dog reached out. Your dog will be the third brother. I love it. Did you have friends?

Did you ever have friends? Did you ever have a friend? Where do you come from? Do you have friends? We're just really, really aggressive. Well, my enemy is here and I would like to know, or my nemesis. My nemesis. Oh my God.

No, but did you have friends in the room on the show? Uh, on my show? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I had my bestie Jen.

She wrote, we met on Insecure. She wrote for Insecure as well. So she was in the room and, uh, yeah, I, I consider them all friends now.

So that's why it was just took me by. Oh yeah. Like we, we crawled through fire to make this show and so yeah they're all friends yeah i feel like it'd be a perk if you have your own show to bring in your friends that you like working with i was and this is just like um i have a certain rigidity in terms of just like fairness and it might be a thing it might just be how i'm wired. I intentionally like read samples. Like I didn't want to just populate it with friends. Yeah.

And not that. And it was just also an embarrassment of riches. Like I was able to do this show in a time where not a lot of shows were being greenlit. And so there were more qualified people than there was space. But it was just, I used the scripts as a rubric because I wanted representation in the room for the characters that were on screen and so that also decided who would be in the room as opposed to me just being like party friends but having

your best friend in the room was there times that you like disagreed on things and how did you conquer that yeah I mean that is one of the things I think I really do respect about her there's we always like joke there's just like the friendship hat and professional hat and like regardless of which one we're wearing we're just emotionally evolved to have conversations and discussions and like I'll consider anything but like ultimately, and I'm sure you felt this on Loosely Exactly, Nicole, where it's just like you get to, you make the call. And so it's kind of like,

I want everyone to feel heard, but ultimately. It's mine. It's mine and this is what I want. Okay. What was the writer's room like on that? I bipped and bopped in because I was also touring. So it was populated with people. Again, I like read scripts and I had one person who I was like, I need, I want them in the room and I don't really care what the network says.

So we had it worked out in my favor. But we would like pitch and I was there, I think, three days a week. like pitch and I was there I think three days a week um and then when we like got stuck on something I was me and my showrunner were the person who got or people who got to be like well this is where this is where I was gonna go yeah um it was fun but also I don't think I could do it full time like that's wild yeah rooms are wild rooms are wild I didn't realize like the whole nine to five in a room or it's like little breaks, snacks. No. Yeah. No.

No. I like it is. It is a lot. But I've I loved it. I really did. I think like the collaborative creative experience has always been my jam. Like I have too much respect and deference for, like, stand-up to do it.

I rely on, like, because there's a bit of me, even though, like, I trust myself, but it's, like, nice to, like, hold hands and would just be like, okay, let's all do this. But then ultimately, like, your name's on the show and it's just like, I have to back myself and there's a bit of autonomy there. But I definitely enjoyed this show and it's just like I have to back myself and there's a bit of autonomy there but I definitely enjoyed this show and breaking story and it was very therapeutic because it's like

dealing with all my shit right all the characters on the show are versions of myself or have parts of my like my idiosyncrasies are on them and so you're in a room and they're like yeah why is this character Nazgul and I'm like I don I don't know. That's my favorite bit. I'm trying to figure that out. Do you have an answer? I'm like, no. But yeah, I enjoy it. No, that's great.

This was so lovely. This was. It's so good to see you. Thank you so much for doing this. And I can't wait to watch the show. I'm so excited. Yeah. I've seen the trailer.

I've seen, I think, two different trailers. And it looks incredible. Yeah. It's so great. I'm so excited for folks to see it september 13th on hulu uh how to die alone check it out thanks for having me thank you for doing it goodbye natasha goodbye forever where am i going you're gonna come over and have some angel eggs well yeah i love it usually we answer questions and queries but we did we didn't do that today not today we simply couldn't because there was another person here but we do have an email address nicole and sashira gmail.com

we also have a phone number 424-645-7003 we always have merch and it doesn't matter if we have a guest or not we always have merch at pod swag.com slash best friends. We always have merch. And it doesn't matter if we have a guest or not. We always have merch at podswag.com slash best friends. And we always have transcripts a person new or not for our episodes. Okay, you check them out

on our show page at earwolf.com. And lastly, it's something you can do all the time. It doesn't matter if we have a guest or not. You can rate, review,

and subscribe. And that is the easiest way to support this show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. subscribe and that is the easiest way to support this show.