Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Remembers Popcorn Shirts

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

Nicole and Sasheer are back in the studio to, first and foremost, debrief Mike Tyson’s Super Bowl commercial. They also reminisce about children’s television of yore, sensory immersion experiences at museums, answer some advice questions from our lovely listeners, as well as consider the growth journey of an eyelash. Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hello, Sashir. Hello, Nicole. I can't get over Mike Tyson's ad in the Super Bowl. It's really crazy. That's very funny. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my whole life. And then I was like, well, the comments must reflect how people must have found this to be so funny.

The comments were not that. No? The comments were like, thank you, Mr. Tyson. Thank you. Thank you for saying the things that needed to be heard. And I truly was like, okay. We're all different. Because I thought it was hilarious.

It was so funny. Yeah. It was, so we watched it yesterday because I saw, like, somebody posted, they were like, Mike Tyson did a Super Bowl spot where he said he was so fat and nasty he wanted to kill himself. And I was like, well, that must be hyperbole. No, it's literally what he said. Verbatim, that man said, I was so fat and nephew. I wanted to kill myself.

America's full of fudgy people. Fudgy people! Fat and fudgy people or big and fudgy people? I can't remember. Big fudgy people, I believe, is what he said. Yeah. Do you think they actually had a script at first, or they just let them go? People are my DMs because I posted it online.

I posted on Instagram. I said, I can't believe this aired days ago. Nobody told me about it. I don't know if I have a friend in the world. This is up my alley. And so when DM me was like, my husband shot a commercial with him, he had one line. He could not say it. That's funny.

Another person said they worked for NBC sports or something. I don't know. I just read it. And they were waiting on the spot. And they were like, the spot was like delivered late. And then when they all finally saw it, they were like, what? The way he crunches on the apple and goes, Mm.

It's really aggressive. It's an aggressive crunch. It is so everything about it. Can we watch it one more time? I'm so sorry. It's also like if I'm also like, what was on the cutting room floor? If that's what made it, they're like, this is the best we can do. We have to fill time.

I mean, it must be legendary. It must be something so funny that we're not ready for it. I'm sure. I wasn't ready for this at all. I wasn't ready either, to share, I was, I was,

my mouth was open and I couldn't, I simply couldn't believe it. And it's in black and white. It, it looks like, here. There was a single tear. A single tear. Like,

it's, the, the tone's all over the place. It sure is. It seems like he's mad. Yes. But then he's crying. Oh my God.

The name was Denise. She got. obesity at 25. Also, what is he looking at? I was so fat nasty. I was like 345 pounds. When? Who's this person who appears at the same?

Is it a friend to kill myself? Or another, I don't know, a friend? When he says the most obese, fudgy people, they cut to him laughing. I think the spot is a joke. It feels like a joke. It feels like a parody. It does. He's not looking into the camera at first.

I must say that that will be 50. And then they show him from different angles. It's a lot. It is art. And this is a government ad. I couldn't believe it said realfood.gov. I was like, what? Wait.

The government's not serious. Nobody's serious right now. It's really wild. But it also makes me mad because I'm like, you guys want to talk about real food? Are you kidding me? Yeah. Y'all have created food deserts and shit.

You're the ones who don't regulate what the snack industry is putting in all the snacks. The companies don't have to reveal what chemicals they use anymore because of the government. Because they don't require that anymore. And then isn't that that? The man who talks like this. What's his name? Robert Kennedy. Is he telling everybody to drink raw milk, which could kill you?

I didn't know that. Oh, you didn't know? There's a raw milk movement. I had no idea. I know there was a beef tallow movement. Beef tallow, raw milk, and measles. We're on the up-it-up. Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know. I have sent this spot to every single person I know. It's very funny. I went to dinner last night, and I sent that video, and I said, Please be prepared to discuss. Have your notes ready. It's one of the best things I've ever seen. And honestly, this is my argument against AI.

AI could never do that. That's true. That's true. AI could never. What prompts would you give AI to give you fudgy people? Fat and nasty. I want him to kill myself. No, that's like, that's the beautiful, like, erratic nature of humanity.

It really is. Only a human can do that. I'm like crying. This is going to get me through 2026. Nice. I'm going to watch it every day. It's a really good way to start the year. It's so funny.

Crunch it. I mean, mm-hmm. He's on that apple. And then the apple's so small. And did he also buy a carrot? He might have bite him into a carrot. I feel like there's like three different foods. Hmm.

Oh, wow. What's bringing you, Joy today. Let's bring joy today. Um, um, I mean, the sun's out for a little bit and that's nice.

But then it'll go away. Truly just a little bit. Yeah. I saw a chair that would not bring you joy today. It was one of those white plastic chairs and one of the legs was broken. And I said,

she would be so mad if she sat down and fell down. I would. Betrayed by a chair? I'd be very upset. What would you do? If I fell down off a chair, I think I'd just be like, ouch. I don't know if I'd do anything. I'd leave.

Let's leave completely. I'd leave. I'd say, well, that's a wrap on me. Can't be here anymore? The Lord said, get out of here. Can't him sit in a chair? Gotta go. I get that.

Yeah. I went to, I was in Guatemala. Yes. And that was really fun. And I saw a restaurant that had chairs, as decoration on the walls and the ceiling. And I was like, well, this is my favorite place. Did it strike inspiration?

Are you going to buy chairs and hang them on the wall? I don't think so. Of course I'm always like, how can I fit another chair in my house? And I have seen places that have them on the wall. But I feel like that's just too far. It's like, it's a bridge too far for me. I think it's a bridge that's attainable. You don't have to do like full-sized chairs.

That's true. If you could find children-sized chairs or like doll chairs that are funky and cool, you can put those on like a wall in your office. That's true. But something about like doll size or children-sized chairs are cute, but sometimes when I see them, I'm like it looks haunted. Like it looks something about the energy. It just feels like, yeah, a child, either a child or a dog is supposed to sit here. And I don't like that. I don't know why.

It's very Annabelle-coded. Yes. Yeah, yeah. And just like an empty child's chair. It really feels like what happened here. Yeah, that's like baby shoes. Yes. Wait, what is it?

Oh, baby. Never worn. Yeah. For sale, never worn. Baby shoes for sale, never worn. I can't believe that made me gavaw. Yeah. That's supposed to be the saddest sentence ever.

Well, don't count your chickens before they hatch. Don't buy baby shoes before it's here. But what if it was here? Oh, God. Ooh, that's tough. Because if they're shoes, this baby was able to walk it. You know, like, it's about to walk or maybe. Well, no.

People buy Tims for babies who can't walk. They're not like fresh babies. Yeah, fresh babies get shoes. No, but I feel like their feet are all like People shove Floppy Shoes on them floppy ass feet You've never seen like a brand new baby with shoes

And you're like, oh You're in shoes already I guess I don't You're not really paying attention to babies Really not paying attention to babies I am paying as so much attention I love a baby They smell so good

Their outfits are so cute Yeah I got my cousin's daughter So many outfits that she got to wear maybe one time. Yeah. Because I was like, they're so adorable. And then I hopped on Etsy and bought a bunch of children's clothes in different sizes.

And I was like, she'll grow. She'll grow into these. And I went over once and she was wearing these adorable overalls. And I was like, in my head, I was like, these are the cutest overalls I've ever fucking seen. I love kids' clothes. And then she finally was like, those are the overalls you got her. And I was like, ah, yes. Okay, that explains why I like them.

That's funny. Whoever got these are, they have good taste. That's a good person. Good eye. Yeah. I saw these. Maybe I was shopping for like a baby shower gift or something, but I don't think I got it. But there's a brand that has clothes that will grow with a kid.

No, what? Do you remember those popcorn shirts that were like popular in the 90s? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like stretchy. And I think they're coming back. So there's like that kind of material like pants and shirt. so as a kid grows up a little bit more they can still fit into that thing

and I'm like everyone should get these like this will save people so much money yeah it's very sustainable but not a lot of like variety no this is true it's not a variety it's like a starburst all pink pack yes yeah it's like you look like a telotubby it's like one color you look like a telotubby you're like you're the purple one you're the yellow

oh I didn't know you need to The names. Tinky Winky for sure is the purple one. Okay. Because I was like, you've got the best name and purple's my favorite color. Oh. I believe Po is the red one.

Okay. That sounds right. The yellow one? Steve? Lala. Lala. And then Dipsy. Dipsy?

He's green? Yeah. Oh. Tinky Winky. Yeah. Po, Lala, and Dipsy? I don't know. They sound like rappers. They do, actually.

Like, that's a rap group. Yeah. They're good names. Yeah. Did they have music on that show? Or they just like, do you know what they sound like? I don't know anything about what they sound like.

Oh. I just know that they romp around in a field and there's a baby in the sun. Yes, there is a baby in the sun. Most, a lot of children's shows are like. Fever dreams. Like how, what did they do? Like, where did the idea come from? Like, were they like, it really must have been a dream.

Maybe. Or someone's kid was like, and then, and then the red monster, and then, and then the pink, the purple one. And then they're like, all make this for you. Yeah. Oh, they have weird, humanish faces around these big, yeah, I truly think children come up with these things. And then adults are like, well, I have the reason. I can make this, I think. I don't know.

Part of me wants to be like, they must have like child psychologists involved that are like, oh, children really respond to these colors or like this kind of imagery or whatever. And then sometimes I'm like, I think people are just making things up and they're just like hoping kids like it. Maybe. I know Ms. Rachel speaks the way she does because children actually do respond to it. They like it? Probably. Which is crazy because I always thought kids liked when you talk to them like normal people.

Yeah, I don't know. I think they just like being talked to. I think they do. They just want to be seen. They really do. Yeah? You know? It must be so hard being a kid.

You're so small. You're saying gibberish all the time. People don't get it. They're like annoyed by you. Yeah. I feel like when we were kids, You didn't watch Nickelodeon that much, so... Okay, you didn't have to say it like that.

I grew up without... How do you think I said it? You were like, you just didn't watch it that much. Like, I had a choice. I grew up without Nickelodeon. We didn't have cable growing up. I couldn't do it. I just simply couldn't watch.

Why don't you just try harder? Try harder to watch it. I couldn't... My parents pretended we were poor. That's really funny. It was awful. We drove everywhere. We never flew.

When they died, I said, what? We could have been flying. We could have had cable. Yeah. It was funny if they had like a secret room where they got to enjoy all their money and then you just didn't see it. That would be so crazy. Well, I mean, when my sister and I moved out, my dad did get cable. And I was like, this was mean.

This was so rude. But go on about your Nickelodeon that you got to watch. Well, just like, I feel like there was like a big, like, movie. movement on the channel that was like, kids rights. Like, kids got, kids deserve a voice too. This is our, our space to be kids and like, speak up. Speak up against what? I don't know. I don't remember. But I do feel like, like, that idea of like, yeah, kids don't usually have a voice or kids don't usually get a say or have a space for themselves. And the Glolium was like, we got you.

Oh, see, that's nice. Yeah. I remember I was at some kids' house and Nickelodeon was on and then there was just a title car that was like, go outside. And I was like, the one time I get to watch just tell me to go outside. That's really funny.

I was like really upset. And now outside time. And I remember it was during Gola Gola Island. I love that show. Or like right after Gola Gola Island. It was like, go outside. And I was like, well, all right. Did you guys actually go outside?

No, I think we stayed. stayed in that basement. No. It was in a basement. Yeah. Most things are in basement. Yeah. I feel like that's like a common kid's space.

Parents are like, go get your ass downstairs. Down outside. See, kids aren't being seen or heard. No, they're being put in dungeons. Go to the dungeon or go outside. To the streets. To the streets. That's so funny.

And like, yeah, kids' places, all they have left is Chuck E. Is that even a thing still? Yeah. It is. I think it's been science. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. But yeah, there's no discovery zone anymore. No. Yeah. And I liked Discovery Zone. Me too.

It was really fun. Yeah. We had a place called the Liberty Science Center. I don't know if it still exists. But I feel like we would go every year on class trips. And they had a thing called the touch tunnel where it was pitch black and you can only touch your way through it. Oh. It was scary. Do you remember what the touch?

felt like? Like what was it like soft, or the different types of touch? I think it was different types of touch. But every time I went, a child would scream and then they'd have to like pull them out of the middle. Oh no. It was scary. You were in pitch blackness. Yeah. Pitch blackness? Pitch blackness? Darkness. Pitch darkness. I don't know. Both of those sound insane. Yeah. I think it's it's pitch black and then darkness. They're just too different. Thanks. You know, like they sound crazy?

Pitch blackness? Well, that does sound crazy because no one says that. Like, why are you saying blackness? Oh, pitch black. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, it does sound crazy. Why are you saying?

I don't know, because it felt like that was the phrase until I said it. And then I didn't understand why it sounded so crazy until you were like, that's not it. Yeah. Boy, it's tough. It's tough. Oh, my God. Clyde went and got his, so Clyde had surgery, and he got his bandage change today,

and they sent him home with a bandage with chickens on it. That's fun. He's not a chicken. He's a brave little boy. Do you think the bandage, like the animal on the bandage is correlated to who the bandage is for? Like, you think the chicken bandage only goes on chickens? I didn't know what they were trying to infer about my good boy.

Oh, you think chicken isn't scared? Yeah. Oh, I see. He's a brave little boy. Yeah. He's not a chicken. You thought I thought my dog was a chicken? You thought I thought the vet thought your dog was a chicken.

My dog's not a chicken. He doesn't need chicken bandages. You stayed really calm. I would be like, wait, what? You think the vet thinks your dog is a chicken? That was really kind. That was so kind that you were like, uh-oh. I think my friend is having a crisis.

She thinks the animal specialist think her dog is a chicken, but we'll get to the bottom of why she thinks that. No, I thought like in Back to the Future, like when Marty McFly is called a chicken and he's like, I hate that. I thought they were calling Clyde a chicken. Oh, yeah. Also, that's smart.

I mean, I don't know the reference, because I don't remember Back to the Future that well. But also, that isn't just a phrase. Like, you're a chicken. I know. I understand it. That's like The Matrix all over again. You know that saying Ignorance is Bliss from The Matrix. Okay.

Maybe I don't know that sayings are just a thing. I guess I hear them in movies and I'm like, and that's why people say it. Well, sometimes, yeah. Like, um, that movie. What are you doing? Like the movies, they do this. What is that? There were hats.

They hat? What? More details. There's two men. There's two men? And there were hats on their hands. They're head banging? And they're the Roxbury?

They're in the car. And they're singing that song. I see a little silhou of a kind. Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. Ben Jaze a Benjero. Really, really sighting. Everyone's.

They're wearing hats. Wayne's World? Yes. Okay. One has a hat. Oh, only one? Mm-hmm. Interesting.

So there's a bunch of stuff in that movie that's, like, part of pop culture that I think came from that movie. And I don't think they're, like, things that were around before. Ooh, okay. But maybe they weren't. I don't know. Maybe. But I think you're right. Sometimes movies do inspire language.

But everything I'm saying. is just a thing that's been around. Yeah. But that's okay. That was really tough that you didn't know that movie. I thought I was giving you a really good hence. This part was hard. The head banging was hard.

Aren't they doing that in the car? Aren't they like... I can see a visual of that, yeah. As if... Yes. They say... And I always thought it was from Clueless. Oh.

Is it in the Wainsworld? Uh-huh. Oh. Yeah. And then they said something else that I was like, whoa, that's from something else. It really blew me away. Whoa.

I said, wow, this movie, inspirational to all. It really started everything. And I had never seen it. When did you see it recently? I think I saw it last year. I did a stage reading of it. That's right. And I was like, well, I should watch the source material.

And that's how I saw the Goonies, because I did stage reading of the Goonies. I had never seen The Goonies. And I was like, whoa. This is what people are referencing sometimes in improv stuff. Yeah, a lot of people have liked and enjoyed the Goonies. It sticks with them. And I still haven't seen it. Oh, you haven't?

You don't need to. Okay. I really don't think you do. Yeah. I think people might say, you really do need to. But I think it's like one of those, it's like a kid's like a kid. Yeah. Like the sandlot.

I loved the sandlot. Yeah. Some people haven't seen it. And I'm like, I don't know if it's worth it. Yeah, I haven't seen it either. Oh. Well, you have to take a break. Chime is changing the way people bank.

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Certified to operate by Shev. And oh, we're back. I think I glued my eyelash too close to my water line. Does it hurt? No, but it's making my eye tear a little bit. I'm sorry. It is annoying, like, how affected my eyes get by tiny things, like lint or dust or. And I'm like, what are the lashes for?

Aren't they supposed to be guarding? on guard. They are supposed to be unguarding. And they're not keeping anything out. And sometimes they themselves get in my eye. Girl, all the fucking time. Yes. They'll just be turned the other way,

just like windshield wipering my fucking eyeball. And I'm like, what are we doing? Get a grip. Yeah, do your job. Go out. And then I'd get like an eyelash curler. And then sometimes it just won't do it. So then I'll have to like tweez that.

Oh, God. And I don't have enough eyelashes for that. No. How much, like when an eyelash falls out or comes out, how long does it take for another one to grow back? Hmm. Allie. Allie. I don't know, because I ripped out a lot of eyelashes in my 20s.

Yeah. Just like gluing lashes right on the lash. It takes about six to 12 weeks, although that they can begin to show visible growth in as little as three to four weeks. Okay. Which is also funny because I've never seen like a short eyelash on my... I guess if I don't study my eyelashes, but, like, you know, if, like, one is growing. I've never seen one that looks shorter than the rest that are already there. Well, they're so tiny and thin that, like, let me see.

Well, you moved so much. I really couldn't get a look. Okay. Yeah, that's a tough case to crack. You know how sometimes you, like, offer to do something? You're like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know how to do this. I don't know. And then you're like, hey, you know. You didn't do that right. Give me another chance. And then you did it and I was like, I don't fucking know. Okay. Well, I think an eyelash, I found an eyelash on my face either today or yesterday.

And so I'll just keep an eye on it. See if anything starts growing. Keep an eye on the situation. See if anything develops. That's so funny. Have you ever tried, like, Latisse? Oh, no. No.

No. No. I guess I just, my brain was like, I've heard of that. Oh, yeah, I remember this being a thing. No, but I did not try it. But I have tried other types of things like that. They're like liquid that you put on the eyelash line. And I don't know if they ever worked.

I don't know if they ever work either. And I think I'm just going to like give up, deal with, like, trying to improve myself. Well, I was watching something and I was like, ooh, I don't think I'm ever going to do Botox. And like, no shade to people who do it. But I was like, I don't, I think, I think I want to, like, look my age. And then I really liked my laugh lines. I was staring at them the other day. And I was like, it's because I've laughed so much.

Yeah. And I smile so much. So I like that. Yeah, me too. And then my little crinkles here, it's because I was. Yes. I'm smiling so hard. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, my God. And I was watching Spider-Man 2 last night. And there was. There's a couple of characters that I was like, ooh, you full of Botox, early adopters. And I was like, I don't want that. Because you don't always tell. Yeah.

Also, Alfred Molina, a star. Who's that? He is Dr. Octo. Oh, he is right. Yeah. He's so good in it. Yeah. And then there's one shot where Toby Maguire lands on his back, and his dick looks huge.

Oh. And I was like, whoa, is that real? Is that CGI? Or maybe they put like a cup? Is he wearing his suit? He is wearing his Spider-Man suit. I would assume they'd probably put a cup or something in the suit. Well, that's what I would assume. It's like, bow.

Oh, it's loose? The juice is loose. I can't stop saying it. It's my favorite phrase to say. When Clyde is out, since he can't move around too much, being that nice man, we say the juice is loose. To be like, move slowly to not excite him so you can get him. But yeah, it's a fun thing.

But yeah, Toby McGuire's juice is loose. Whoa. It's huge. Well? Yeah, maybe. I should have taken a screenshot so then I could have like, Google image searched it to be like, is this really Toby McGuire's penis? Do you think Google would tell me?

I don't know how they would have, I don't know how they'd have verification of that. Like, how would they know? No, you're right. Probably not, though, because our friend, Tess was trying to look up, what she was trying to look up? Like a football player's relationship status or something like that. And the AI prompt was like, like their personal relationship status is private or something like that. And she was like, well, damn. Which is very funny for AI to be like, excuse you, nosy bitch.

Yes. Uh-uh. Excuse, could you have some respect for their privacy? God, it's so funny. Oh, Sehir, did I tell you, I altered a bunch of sweatshirts? Did I tell you this yesterday? No. Oh.

So what I did was I cropped sweatshirts. Yeah. I cut them to nine inches from the armpit because that seems to be the optimal length that I like. Okay. So I cut them. And then I took the bottoms and I cut the band, like close to the band. and then I sewed them to the edge that I crop so the edges aren't like they won't fray and it looks like that's how it came. Oh my goodness.

It took me maybe 45 minutes to an hour to cut them all. And then an hour and a half to sew, I think I did six or seven of them. Yeah. Call me a factory. I'm hitting the quotas. That's amazing. Thank you. And I bought one sweatshirt that was like pretty cheap.

And I was like, that will be my practice one. And then I was like, I don't like this sweatshirt. So if it turns out good, I won't wear it and I'm going to be mad about it. I'm just going to go for it. So I went for it and I fucked up that first one. Okay. I really, really fucked it up. It looks like when I tried it on, it looks like it's just twisted.

And I said, well, that's what it is. I don't know how to fix it. Because I tried seam ripping it and it, like, frayed because it's vintage and kind of old. Yeah. And I was like, well, that's what that is. Yeah. But I learned on that first one that when you're sewing something with an elastic band, it's, and then the bottom of a sweatshirt is smaller than the middle of it.

So you have to pull the band as you're running it through the machine. That's smart. Yeah. I felt so smart. I was like, wow, I like figured that out. Yeah, good job. Thank you. I was so deeply proud of myself.

I'm proud of me too. Thank you. I've been putting off making pants Because I got All this incredible fabric To make like little cute sets And I know it's just gonna It's gonna take me

Probably an hour to cut the pattern Yeah And then maybe Probably an hour and a half Cutting the pattern really sucks And then sewing it will probably take me 45 minutes to an hour And then I'll just have fucking new pants

Yeah I feel like we keep Talking about having a craft day or something where people bring over their projects and we just do it like co-working like around each other we should do that we should because then I could get some shit done yeah you can do your pants what I want to do so something I do have a bag of things that like need mending like they have they have holes in it or whatever and I just haven't gotten to it I can mend probably not well though yeah I can mend I just don't do it um because they're just just don't do it because they're just

sitting in the bag and I'm like, I'll get to that later. I was also proud of myself because, you know, Godoy. He got me chalk to, like, mark things. And it was very, very sweet. And I was like, I need to use this gift. Yeah. Because it's a gift that's useful and I want to use it. And I used it and I was so proud of myself.

Yeah, good job. I feel so good. I felt so accomplished. Yeah. I mean, you literally accomplish something. Ugh. I got to get back into it. And I really, do you ever, like, do something small?

And then you go, I can be in the big leagues. I can fucking do this. Yeah. Take a swing. I really want to make a jumpsuit. And I know that that won't be an hour long process. That will be, like, a days long process. Yeah.

And the thought of it is really daunting because I'm like, I don't want to abandon it. Mm-hmm. Do you know what I mean? I don't want to start it and then like, be like, whatever. Yeah. By believing you. Thanks. And then I'll have to learn how to do like zippers and pockets and stuff.

Also, threading a fucking sewing machine with acrylic nails. Ooh. I'm an athlete. I was sweating. It was hard. Yeah. And also, I don't know who have to talk to. Threading.

The hole in the needle is so fucking tiny. It is. For what? Why can't it be bigger and adjustable or something? I don't know. I'm not really sure. I was like squinting. I was this close.

I was like in it. I wonder if you can use tweezers. Hmm. Fuck you. I hate you. Oh, fuck. That probably would have been... It never occurred to me and it would have probably made my life so much fucking easier than...

I don't want to be here anymore. I'm sadding. When the answer is there. And it just doesn't occur to me. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's okay. Well, but now you know.

Now you know that's an option. Yeah. And you did figure it out. You did thread it. My time would have been just, I could have really churned through more. Yeah. If I didn't, if I wasn't hunched over trying to thread the fucking needle. Oh my God.

Yeah, I understand. Pretty upset. You recognize the sweatshirt? Of course I do. It used to belong to me. Yeah. And it was too small. I like it.

I love it. It's a... I thought it was just a straight-up duck, but Tess said it was a loon. A loon. Which is from Heated Rivalry. I mean, The World. No, it's only on Heated Rivalry. But that's how I know a loon

Because there's loons being heard In the last episode And Ilya's like scared of the loons Yeah And then Wait, what's the other one's name? Hollander. Hollander.

He does a bird call But not a loon burn call Not a loon bird call. It's like they're predators or something. Oh, I thought it was a loon call But it meant like back off. Oh, maybe. Hey.

Or something like that. I don't know. People tell me things and I just, I keep them in my head until I say them wrong out loud. Maybe it was a predator. But whatever it was is to protect Ilya, which is so sweet. So, so fucking sweet. Heaterrivaler is so sweet. Yeah.

Oh, my God. The author. Oh, wait, maybe I shouldn't say it. We talked about it. Oh, we did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Then I don't have to say it again.

Well, what was it? Oh, just the author of Heater Rivier reached out and she's going to do, why won't you date me? And I'm really excited to talk to her. I don't think I knew that. Oh. Did we talk about that? We did. We did.

Oh. Oh. Fun that my best friend doesn't listen to me. I do. It's really, really cool. It's really, really, really cool. I forgot. Oh, this is a continuation of talking about L-A-D-W-P.

So the day, yesterday. So two days ago had a man come out, fix my shit, was like it was our side. Hopefully they'll refund you. That was two days ago. Today, instead of adjusting my payment, because it's on auto pay, they just processed it. And they never sent me an email. And they sent me an email and said, thank you for your money. Wow.

Are you trolling me? Yeah. Ooh. So now I got to get on their dicks. And I got to get my fucking money back. Yes. That's crazy. It was wild.

I was like, what? Why are you thanking me? You should have adjusted this pay period. Yes. I have to go to war with them. I really, I'm sorry. I can't believe so many businesses want to do me wrong. Yeah.

Air bungee fitness. Mm-hmm. L-A-W-L-A-D-WP, glow modern dentistry. I'm going to have to go to war soon, too, because... Oh. I was acknowledging that I think I know what you're about to say, but I was waiting for you to say it. And my O was maybe slightly too big? No, it might be appropriate, but I was like, do you know?

I think. Windows? Yes. Yes. So the windows I got installed, they won't stop bothering me. Or the windows keep causing problems. So I have a leak that is going from my deck to the bedroom underneath it. And I couldn't figure out where the water was coming from.

The roof guy came over and was like coming from the door that got installed here. And he's like, yeah, they didn't properly seal it. And they started looking at other stuff too. And he's like, they didn't really seal a lot of these. And so my girlfriend looked it up and your home insurance can sue a company to make them pay for damage that they caused. So, or like that came from the work that they did. And I was like, I don't want to do that. girlfriend likes to fight. There you go. She's going to do it. That's lovely. I mean,

she doesn't even have to because it goes through your insurance. When I got sued, because my lovely dog bit somebody. Oh, yeah. I don't know if we've talked about it on this, but I've talked about it on why won't you date me. Clyde bit a server at a club. And then she sued me. And I was like, oh my God. But then homeowners insurance covers pets. So they're the ones who dealt with everything and just like kept me in the loop with the payout and like the status of things. Um, so honestly, I think you just talk to your insurance and then your insurance does it. Okay, great.

They, they are, they're paid every month and then they finally work for you when things like this happened. I mean, yeah, it's like, please, this is, this is what I'm paying you for. You do it. That is so annoying, though, because it's like, I don't know how to build. I know. You said you did. Yeah, I trusted you.

You're door people. You do doors. Yes. And I did specifically ask, are you waterproofing this? And they're like, yep, they didn't. And I can tell. There's exposed wood. It's crazy.

That sucks. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. It just, it's not fun. I have a leak in my garage. And I was told that it was waterproofed and whatnot. And had a contractor come and they were like, it is not waterproofed.

the people who lived there before me didn't waterproof a single thing because they lived there from 1995, I shouldn't tell whatever, 95 to when I moved in when the weather wasn't as rainy. So I think they were like, we don't need to waterproof anything. Yeah. But

big old leaks and it's fun. A year from today, who do you want to be? What version of yourself would you like to meet? Do you feel less anxious? just do you feel more like yourself? Maybe your relationship is stronger or the grief feels smaller.

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That's Shopify.com slash best friends. I've had to do so much water stuff at my place that like they tell you like the American dream is own a home, have kids, get married. Rent. Rent as long as you can. It's so wild. Like, unless you have the funds to like cover shit. Like when people buy a home, I was talking to my friend about this and she was talking about a house that she like wanted to buy. And I was like, I honestly think you should like have cash on hand for what the house is worth. And she was like, that's crazy. And I was like, it might be crazy.

But you want a rainy day fund for like if either of you, your partner loses their job. You want money for repairs. You want money for, you know, life stuff. You want to decorate the house. I was like, I think you need to have a huge surplus of cash when you buy a house. And nobody tells you that. Yeah. They're like, do you have the down payment?

And I'm like, no, no, no. Maybe not like the full amount of the house, but you should have like, you should always put 20 down. One, two, I think you should have like maybe 50, 50% of the house. I agree with that. Yeah, I mean, as soon as I moved in, like pretty quickly I had to replace the roof. It's crazy. Yeah. You move in and you're like, I love this house.

And it's like, hey, your roof is going to kill you. We have issues. Hey, your pipes all need to be replaced. your chimney a thing that you've never thought of there's a crack in a valve and you're like what? Yeah

It's wild It's wild Hmm And I just noticed there's a hole On a part of my roof And I have clay tiles So clay tiles I guess are fragile

I don't But they look beautiful Yeah So I need to get that repaired It's never ending It really is never ending. But also, it's a... There's worse things in the world.

That's true. Yes, I feel very fortunate that I have a house and a roof over my head. Mm-hmm. And house that I love. Mm-hmm. Same. Same, same.

Yeah. I... You were there. I cleaned out so much old clothing and stuff that, like, doesn't fit and whatnot. And I just noticed there's a good-looking thrift store or a vintage store across the street. Uh-huh.

And I was like, like, oh, I got to get in there. And then I was like, for what, Nicole? You just got rid of stuff. Yeah. But when there's room, I'm like, got to fill the room. There's a little gap on that bar. You got to hang stuff up.

No, just spread it out. I know, I know. It's sick. Because also your closet was packed. Like, packed to the brim. Let your clothes breathe a little bit. Spread it out. I know.

And it was wild. After you left, there was so much stuff in my closet that I was like, I've never seen this before. And it is wild whenever friends wear things I've given them. Sometimes it didn't happen with this because I've had that for a long time. And it just never fit the way I wanted it to. And I was like, I don't know if greens my color. Yeah. It was a lot of back and forth.

And I was like, let it go. But things that I love that don't fit. Like I gave Tess this really incredible purple jumpsuit with like gold stars on it. And I just loved it. Yeah. And I was like, I'll alter it. That never, I'm not going to. That's above, that's above me.

Because I'd have to find fabric, cut the seams. Like, it was just like too much for me to actually do. And Tess wore it to dinner. And I was like, it looks so good on you. And it did. It looks so good. her because it fucking fit her. Yeah.

And I was glad that it has a life and it gets to be worn because it's so amazing. But I was like, it should have been me. It should have been me. Yeah, that is hard. Yeah. Because I find such good stuff. You do. Ugh.

Yeah. I gave a bunch of stuff to our friend Joyelle in New York. Mm-hmm. And there was a period where she would wear all of it at the same time. And she had an Afro. and I did too. And, like, there was, like, a moment where I saw her at a show. And I was like, whoa, this is great.

Am I standing over there? Is that me? Am I now very tall? That's so funny. That's really funny. Like, not all at the same time, please. I wonder, yeah, Tess could probably be head to toe. Tessa has so much of my stuff.

Mm-hmm. I think she could be head to toe. And then I gave Tessa this little jumpsuit with Flavis. with flowers on it. And it looks so cute on her. And that was another one that I was like, it should have been me. But jumpsuits are hard.

Thrifting a jumpsuit super, super hard. But I just found this amazing Farm Rio jumpsuit. Ooh. I just, it like fell on my lap and Deepop. And it was like under $100. And I was like, well, I have to get it. I have to just chance it. It might not fit, but it might fit.

I put it on. I was like, ooh, she's snug as hell. So I bought a second one in a smaller size. and I am going to figure out because it fits at the waist. And it fits. It fits everywhere. It's just slightly too small. And I think I'm going to be able to figure out how to cut that seam, take the other one,

not cut on the seam, cut on the parallel to the seam, and then sew it. So I've created a new seam. Wish me luck. Good luck, girl. Thank you. And it's already been altered because I found the original one and it has sleep. but the one I have doesn't have sleeves. And I was like, she's already been altered.

And I'm going to do more to it. And when you cut the other one to like use it as a seam, you could maybe like cut the top off, make a little shirt or something. Ooh, maybe I will do that. She's like like a whole jumpsuit to use. You're right. And it's like a patchworky jumpsuit.

So like she's going to, she's this new life that this jumpsuit's going to get is going to be good. She's going to be so happy. Yeah. She just like, wow. Wow. Wow. Should we answer questions? Yeah.

Hi, Cisharon, Nicole. I'm a woman in my mid-30s and just went through my first friend breakup. Obviously, I've had friendships fizzle out or grow distant before, but this was different. I feel okay about how I handled my end of things, but I'm interested in your opinions. My family, I have a husband and a young teen kid, and I moved long distance within the U.S. a little over a year. year ago. I made a friend by going to a book club who suggested I try Bumble BFF to meet more people. That's how I met this now former friend. Our first meetup was to go for a walk in a park. I got lost since I was new to the area and was late, but she was cool about it. The more we hung out, though,

I realized she was really negative and judgy. I wasn't having fun with her. I didn't want to invite her to hang out with other friends I was making. I didn't have a reason to ghost her because she had never been mean to me, and she even gave me a thoughtful birthday gift. I tried to do nice things for her in return, but more often than not, she would decline and I wouldn't push the issue too much. She does a lot of flipping stuff on eBay, Facebook Marketplace, et cetera, and she had gotten a lot of stuff from helping a relative who was helping, or she got a lot of stuff from helping a relative who was downsizing their home, including a bunch of equipment for onstage audio production. My husband has worked over 10 years at a musical

instrument store, and then in parentheses, yes, the big corporate one you're thinking of. And my friend was often asking me to help him get her, my friend was often asking me to get him to help her test stuff or sell it to his job's use department. He had met her a few times and didn't like her for the same reasons I wasn't fond of her. He works really hard and mentally needs his time off to be spent on home responsibilities or leisure, so I wouldn't even ask him, and I'd help her as best as I could with my own limited knowledge of the subject. I would discourage her from going to his job on his days off because I didn't want to add things he would need to catch up on because they were busy with customers

while he was away. This past weekend, we were going through this routine of her texting me to ask for my husband's help. After a while of me giving her different suggestions of how to deal with it, that wouldn't take up his or his store's time, she made a bitchy comment about one of his hobbies saying he must be too busy to help a friend. I said she didn't have to be snippy about it and I was trying to help her while protecting my partner's peace of mind. She said she was looking for a ride or die friendship but she realizes she's all alone in this world. I said if there was a way I'd failed to be there for her that wasn't about my husband and her audio equipment that I'm sorry and we could talk about it. She didn't reply for a couple days so I texted that I'm sorry. She's feeling isolated

and like she can't depend on people, but based on the negative way she talks about everything and everyone, she might want to reconsider her expectations of relationships. That was a few days ago, and as far as I know, that's the end of it. Anyway, sorry for the long story, but that's all the relevant details. Thanks for the pod and all your other entertaining delights. I shrieked with delight watching Long Story Short when Kendra's hostage negotiator girlfriend had Sashir's voice.

Wait, did she say, yeah, is there a question? I guess how should she feel about it? Yeah, I think she just wanted to know your take on the friendship breakup. Oh. If she did the right thing. Yeah. The last thing was that she said, like, your negative energy, what was it? Yeah, she said that she didn't have to be sniffy about it and she was trying about her husband and she was trying to help her while protecting her partner's peace of mind.

She said she was looking for a ride or die friendship but realizes she's all alone in this world. I said if there's a way I'd failed to be there for her that wasn't about my husband and her audio equipment, then I'm sorry and we could talk about it. She didn't reply. So I texted saying, I'm sorry she's feeling isolated and like she can't depend on people. But based on the negative way, she talks about everything and everyone, she might want to reconsider her expectations of relationships. That was a few days ago.

And as far as I know, that's the end of it. Yeah, I think it was handled pretty well. Yeah. I mean, anybody who responds with there's nobody in the world for me is. rather dramatic and not for me. It's a little dramatic, yeah. I don't know if text was the best way to communicate that last part, but also whatever. I think protect your peace.

Yeah. I think sometimes when you're like, this person is not only like asking a lot from me, but asking a lot from my partner. Yeah. Maybe we don't need to have a phone call or a sit down or nothing. Maybe we just text and you respond, how you respond. I can just, like, keep distance. Yeah.

That person sounds like a... I almost said a culture vulture, but I mean like a... Oh, an energy vampire. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. And very...

Like, there's a huge lack of self-awareness. Mm-hmm. And it's asking for too much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's totally fine to, like, keep your distance and... She'll figure it out if she won't, but it's okay.

Yeah. Salt. Okay, this is called question for best friends. D&D drama. Oh. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. First time writer, long time fan, etc., etc. Love y'all.

This question is about Dungeons and Dragons, but really it's about friendship. My partner and our friends have a D&D group that's been running a campaign for a little over a year. One friend, let's call her Betsy, has been annoying some members of the group. We love her a lot, but she can be a bit immature, I guess. when we're scheduling sessions, she's always the first to say,

that doesn't work, I have worked the next day, or I'm tired, or I need a day to myself, that kind of thing. All of us in the group have full-time jobs, some a lot harder than hers, just being real, but we make it work because we love playing together. It feels like Betsy's ready to cancel whenever at the slightest inconvenience. And more than that, during the games when we do play, She's often distracted or doesn't understand the rules, so she's just doing the same thing every time and not contributing. It's clear she still hasn't learned the game, even though we've had 10 plus sessions at this point.

I get that it's complicated and it's not everyone's thing, but it feels like she's not even trying. The weird thing is when she talks about D&D with other friends, she's always saying how much she loves it and how much it means to her. I feel like we need to talk to her to reset, but I'm worried she'll take this as us kicking her out or criticizing her. We just want to have fun during sessions, and if she doesn't want to do this, it's bringing the group down. Any advice on how to approach this? Help. Betsy's really funny. Yes.

That's so deeply funny to be like, man, this bitch does not. Get it. And then you're out with, like, other friends. She's like, it's my favorite thing in the world. My guess is that Betsy's favorite thing is hanging with the friends, but not playing the game. Yes. which is okay. Maybe you can phrase it like that.

Like, hey, like, we all really are into this game. And it seems like sometimes you're not into it that much because you're on your phone when we're doing it. You refuse to learn the rules. So, like, maybe we can hang in a different capacity and the D&D heads can play. play without you? Uh-huh.

Or, like, how do you feel? Are you really dedicated to doing the D&D stuff? Or would you rather us hang in a different capacity? Maybe, like, give her a choice and see what she says. And if she's like, yeah, I'd rather just do some, I'd rather sit and watch TV with you guys or, like, be on our phones than play this long game. Then hopefully she'll be honest about that. I'm not super familiar with Dungeons and Dragons and their campaigns, but I'm like, can you play without Betsy?

Or does Betsy have to always be there? I'm not sure either. I do not know. If Betsy doesn't always have to be there, I think it's okay to be like, hey, well, we're going to play on Monday. Yeah. And we know that you can't make it. So, like, we'll just pause your character. I don't know.

Yeah, I wonder if it's a continuing thing where you have to do it. with the same, every week. I don't know. I actually have no idea. Maybe since Betsy's always doing the same things. So the nice man in my life, him and his friends play poker. I had no idea how to play poker. And I read half of poker for dummies.

Okay. I asked that nice man to give me poker lessons. So we would like pretend that there was other people when it was just the two of us. And we would do like the cards, I could see them all. And he would go, what would you do? Like this where you're... So maybe you can say, hey, Betsy, you've been doing like the same things

in Dungeons and Dragons, D&D. Can I maybe give you like a quick little lesson on like all the other things you can do if it's important to you? But like if you just want to hang, we can figure that out too. So maybe offer to teach... Like maybe Betsy just doesn't know.

Yeah. I know people tell me rules and I go like... Mm-hmm. And then that leaves. Yeah. I like the idea. Yeah. Are you interested in knowing other options and improving your gameplay?

Yeah. And if she's like, no, then you're like, okay, well. Cool, Betsy. We're trying to play this game. Yeah. I don't think it would hurt Betsy's feelings if you were like, hey, we're like all really super into this. And if you're super into it, I want to help you get better. I think that might be like caring and nice.

I think so too. Yeah, I think there's been moments where, there have been moments where, like, I want to do something or you and I want to do something and someone wants to join. But like, for example, you know I like the thrift shop. And I think I told Tessa one time that we were going to do that. And she was like, oh, I'll come. And I was like, we are going to shop. We are not hanging. We're not chatting.

We'll probably barely talk to each other. We will be in different aisles. And she was like, oh, I don't want that. But I can get lunch with you after. And I was like, great. That is very funny because sometimes you do have to tell people. It is funny. I've had to tell friends that I'm like, oh, I'm going to go thrifting.

And they're like, oh, I'll come. And I'm like, well, this is pretty serious for me. I'm looking. Yeah. And you'll be talking and I'm not going to be listening. Yeah. We can regroup every like 20 minutes. But like I'm going for it.

Exactly. Yeah. This is serious to me. Yeah, I think you just explain it to Betsy. I think. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think that's a mean thing to be like, well, we're really serious about this. Yeah, and I think as long as you make it clear that's like, you're not saying you don't want to hang out with her.

Mm-hmm. Which I really feel like that's what she wants. Yes. You're just saying this game that we love is important to us. Yes. And we want everyone else to feel that way, too. Mm-hmm. And at that poker game, sometimes girlfriends will come who don't like playing and they'll just hang out.

Mm-hmm. And that might be an option. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe she doesn't have to play the game. She was like, be there with her friends. Yeah. Solved.

Okay, this one is called, Am I Overreacting? Yes. No. Hi, Nicole and Sashir and everyone else involved in this lovely show. Some friends and I went out for drinks tonight, and since we are all busy adults, we'd had it on the books for a couple of weeks.

Our one friend who definitely knew about it and even insisted it be kind of early so she could go after work, texted today to say she couldn't make it. Not a big deal, things happen. But then, just now, I was on letterboxed and saw that she had gone to the movies with her married pollicule. And that's why she couldn't make it to drinks tonight? Am I overreacting, or is that shitty?

Thanks. Love the show. Her married polychule. I mean, I guess it is shitty to be, like, aware that someone banned. on your hang to basically do another hang. But we don't know what's going on in the pollicule. No. There could be drama. She could, or that person could be trying to fix something.

Exactly. They could be like, like, all of them are like, you don't spend enough time with us. And so she's like, I got to fix all my relationships right now. Got to head to the pollicule. Mm-hmm. I used to be offended when people chose to do like something else other than hang with me. But in my old age, I've learned, well, they're doing something that's important. to them.

Yeah. And it might actually have nothing to do with how they feel about me, my standing with them, or the fact that maybe they did want to hang out with me and they just needed to do this other thing. And I've been guilty of canceling day of because before I got an assistant to, like, help me with my schedule, I would double book myself all the time. And then I'd have to like make choices. Do I do this show?

Do I go to this dinner? Like, sometimes I triple book myself. So I think sometimes it's nicer to just like accept it and go, well, I think that person still went to drinks with their other friends. That was a nice time. I was going to say that too. It's possible this person overcommitted and didn't realize it or like forgot or who knows. You know, maybe they did agree and know that this hang was on the books, but maybe they also agreed to this movie thing and forgot. Like, who knows?

And yeah, it's not a reflection of hopefully how they feel about this friend group. It's just they had to do it. They had to get to the polycule. Yeah. But I also think it's okay to say, hey, I'm really disappointed that you didn't make it. And did they say they do this a lot? That they cancel? No, but it's been on the books for a couple of weeks.

I see. And she asked for it to be early so that she could make it. And then she canceled. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't think it's bad to be like, hey, I'm really. disappointed we didn't make it for drinks. Yeah. And give them a little grace. Yeah. Honestly, we're hearing that this person wanted it to be early makes me think that they did double book. Yes. They probably were like, oh, it could be early, and then I'll make it to the movie,

and then maybe realize the, because I've done that before, and I'm like, oh, the distance between these two things are actually much more than I thought, and I'm not going to make it to that second thing or the first one. Yeah. I think there was trouble. in the polycule. Yeah. And a polycule is more than three? I think it can be three or more than three. At least three.

Probably. Right. Mm-hmm. Three is a thruple. Four is a polycule. Oh, I don't know. I don't know the distinctions. I don't know either.

It's Google's being confusing. It's undetermined. Google's like, it's none of your business. None of your business. None of your business. It's fun for them. Yeah. It's their business, actually.

They define it however they want. Salt? All right. Well, that's it. That's it. If you have any questions or queries for us, you can call us or text us or leave a voice message at 323-238-6554. And we have an email, Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com. Type away.

Talk. Ask us. Goodbye. Bye. Best Friends is a production of HeadGum Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producers, Anya Kahnofskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Rochelle Chet.

That was a HeadGum podcast.