Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer Saw Usher in Vegas! - LIVE

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

This week, Sasheer & Nicole are LIVE from Largo @ The Coronet! Hot off their Vegas Girls Trip, Sasheer and Nicole tell us all about their adventures. Sasheer screams with excitement for a stripper during Usher’s concert. Nicole drove a Lamborghini on a race track. Sasheer got trash in her eye during the Chris Angel Magic show. Nicole makes people do a standing ovation for Cirque Du Soleil performers.  Sasheer surprised Nicole at the Flamingo Casino and Hotel. Nicole got the Magic Mike experience she always wanted. Sasheer also got a Magic Mike experience, this time with Ester.  Plus, we answer a question from someone who can't fit their old couch in their new apartment and audience questions! Sources:@20:23 – Chris Angel Mind Freak Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5gK2MxGR0M Here is the quiz we took:https://www.buzzfeed.com/hwarrington/rat-cocktail-quiz Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions and  “Is this weird” suggestion at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Welcome to the Best Friends Podcast. Please give a warm welcome to Nicole Byer and Sushu Zavina! Oh no, are you okay? Drink up. Drink up. Oh no. Oh, are you all right? Something went down the wrong pipe. Oh, no.

It was a horrible way to come out. Oh, no. I was choking on the walk. Oh, were you? I'm okay, though. Why didn't you say stop the walk? I guess that would have been insane. No, it's fine.

Thanks for coming out. That's Nicole Byer. That's Sashir Zameda. And this is a live recording of our podcast. Called Best Friends. Yeah. Yeah, I know what we're doing. Yeah.

We're very in tune. Look at these sweaters that nicole brought so she was like can you send a picture and i was like a surprise is not what you want i'll give you the colors and the animals because i had three sweaters so i said pink blue black monkey cat fish because i knew she was gonna bring something for us to match. And I just wanted to know what pants to wear. And I was like, can I get an idea?

And she was like, monkey, fish, cat. And I was like, I guess I'll go black pants then. You did good. Yeah, this is good. The green in your shoes kind of picks up the green in the palm tree. I'm so glad. And for the people who are a little further back, the buttons have bananas on them.

And then at the bottom, the monkeys are hanging out. Oh yeah, I guess for people who are listening to this. Yes. Pink monkeys. The sweater is pink. Yes. Pink monkeys. The sweater is pink. Yes. There are monkeys on it.

On the bottom, hanging out. Buttons are bananas. Buttons are bananas. There's palm trees. Little sequins. It's a good time. It's a good time.

Yeah. It's from this company. I think it's called Quacker. No. Quacker? I think it's called Quacker. No. Quacker? I think, look at the tag. Why don't you look at the tag? You give me a difficult task.

Because my wig. Sorry. Oh my God. Imagine this year just started stripping. It's not from Quacker. It says Jack be quick. Oh.

Oh man. I guess there is a Q in there. Well, I thought they were all from the same company. I swear one of them is Quacker. Well, wait, are these vintage or are these new? These are vintage, friend. Well, then, so is the company... There's a company.

I think... Jordan! Can you... We have Jordan. Jordan on the keys today. Jordan on the... No, Jordan. Jammin'.

Jammin'. Jammin' Jordan. Jammin' Jordan. Jordan on the Jeeves. Oh! Jordan on the No Jordan Jammin Jammin Jammin Jordan Jammin Jordan Jordan on the Jeeves Oh Jordan on the Jeeves Who uses Jeeves? Jordan does Jordan is sponsored

by Big Jeeves If you type anything into AskJeeves.com I'm gonna walk off the stage Okay Can you look up Quacker Factory? I'm pretty sure that's the name of the brand, Quacker Factory.

See? Oh. But, okay. Oh, and they still sell on QVC. What does QVC stand for? Quality? Quality? Very.

Very cool. Cool. quality quality very very cool cool yeah now we're looking up what does key Jordan's jamming Jordan's jamming on those keys

oh no quality value convenience ew we don't like it ew who came up with that quality value

convenience some man ew I don't like this this year not one bit no mm-mm um

we just got back from Vegas this morning boy we had an adventure we did everything you could possibly do in Vegas. Everything. Except gamble. We didn't gamble once.

Yes, I did. I lost $20 in 30 seconds. Oh, that's true. Yeah. I put it in the, there was a nasty little slot machine with a little pig on it. What was it? Was it rake and bacon? Yeah.

Yeah. Rake and bacon. And I kept passing it. And I was like, S like so sheer I gotta play it and then it took my money so quick really confusing does anyone here know how to play slots?

oh there's a dental wave in the front can you go to that microphone and explain to us how to play the slots I need to know I wanna rake that bacon okay so like wait what's your name my name is matt hi man hi i didn't expect to be on mic okay it's okay um so there's like different slots

there's like ones where it's like high volatile where it's like one of those that's just gonna take your money but the payout's gonna be really. So like those, you put like a lot of money in, but you could do like little small bets and all you want are like those big bonus games where it's like woo woo and like wheels and whatnot. And then you have like the like old school, like ka-ching ka-ching ones. Those ones you can play with like a high bet and play for a while and you'll get some back and some.

Nothing you've said made sense. It doesn't make sense. So is there a strategy? there's not really a strategy i i'm like obsessed with this on tiktok all i do is watch slots on tiktok i swear to god it's i love this it's such a niche thing and like i'm obsessed with it and i've seen the rake and bacon one i've watched that but isn't the pig so cute it's so cute and then have you seen the ones with like the yellow and blue and red pig and they get bigger and bigger and bigger and like if it's like really big you're deep in this no it's like it's fully like my adhd like go-to like swear to god they're like 10 minute long videos and i'll sit there and just be like

ding ding ding but what's on the video? Is it people playing the game? It's literally people, somebody playing the slot machine and like watching it. That's like when kids watch other kids unbox videos. Oh, okay. But that's sad. This is fun. This is fun. That's like so sad to me.

Like a child being like, what's this child going to open that I don't have? I thought that was like to review the product. Oh, I truly thought it was to be like, I wish't have. I thought that was like to review the product. Oh, I truly thought it was to be like, I wish I could. No, I thought it was like, oh, I'm thinking about buying an Xbox.

So they're like, here's the Xbox. It does this. And I do that. And this is what the packaging's like. I truly thought it was just like, I didn't get you shit,

but watch this. This is like such a big indication I shouldn't be a mom. Wait, I have a question. Yes. So you said do small bets. So like hit the lowest thing over and over again? Yeah.

So they'll be like anywhere from like 50 cents to like $5, right? So if it's like one of those like big bonus ones, like I think the rake and bacon one is, you want to do like the little small ones. And then you want to get that big bonus thing because that's where the payout is. How do you get to the bonus? It's all numbers and luck.

It's luck. Because people stare at it like they're strategizing. But I'm like, it's a screen. So in the rabbit hole that I've gone into, they're like, if you look at the bonus, if the major bonus is really high or like the grand is really high, there's a really high chance it's going to go off. But if it's really low, that means it's not going to go off. But if it's really low, that means it's not going to go off, but it's all bullshit. I mean,

to be honest. Have you, how much money have you won? Um, doing slots, nothing huge, maybe like 400, 500 bucks.

That's something. But in LA, Orange County economy, that's a sandwich. That's a sandwich. That's that, that's that, a sandwich that's that smoothie from

marijuana it's so much money it's very good what is your name again Matt Matt thank you Matt

you're welcome thank you but the first day we got in the pool and for whatever reason the Bellagio had three lifeguards for three feet of water. Yeah.

Yeah, there was no need for a lifeguard. But they didn't whistle a lot. So much. Yeah. And then a man, he backed his butt into the jets in the hot tub. It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. We like made eye contact as he was just like wiggling against the jet.

And I was like, Sashir, did you see that? She's like, nah. I missed it completely. I think he shat in the hot tub. I think he might have too. He came by himself, wiggled,

and then left. And then we saw Usher. We sawher raymond my god so good you guys if you get the chance go see usher yeah so like he didn't wear any costumes that were breathable he like started off in a three-piece satin suit and then changed into leather yeah and then closed in i think it's neoprene which is is like a, it's a nice thick fabric. Oh, that neon suit. Yeah. I was like, what the, you stink.

Like, cause he never stops moving. No, he was moving the whole time. The whole time. And he's on skates at one point. Yeah, roller skates. Yes. It's, and then there's strippers. Oh, they were so good.

Oh my God. There was one with the juiciest butt. And she did a thing where she like clapped her like feet together upside down. And I was like, we all have to clap. She's working so hard. And then she was also like, like holding the pole with her knees and then balancing her torso off and then started beating her chest. Yes. And I was like, yeah.

I truly was like, if she could come in the crowd and kill me, that's fine. Murder me. She had an air that was very, like, scary. She was terrifying. I loved her. Yeah. I found her on Instagram. It took me a minute.

But, like, I found her, and now I follow her, and now she's my pole-spiration, because she's terrifying. Yeah. She does this thing where she, like, tumbles down the pole and lands in a split, and then she's like, ah's like ah and i'm like ah and that's the kind of stripper i want to be yeah like people are terrified and throw money at me because they're like i don't know what she's gonna do to me oh she was so good very good also like 10 minutes in so shirley and domer and she was like is it over that seemed like the final number i was like yeah no it opened with a medley of hits and i was like oh my god usher where are we gonna go from here like we have an hour and a half left like you're gonna blow your load he did it he did

it i did but he didn't no he sustained the whole time and i whole time. It was so good. Quite a catalog. Oh my God. When he did Climax, I was so horny. Yeah. Oh my God. It was so good. It was really good.

And then he told us that he started at 11 and has been in the game for 22 years. And I was like, Usher, you're not 33. I was really confused on the math. You're not. You have a Vegasher, you're not 33. I was really confused on the math. You're not. Like, you have a Vegas residency. You're not 33. And we refuse to look up how old he is. We're not going to figure it out.

We still have it. And Jordan, don't you dare! Don't you dare do it. Don't you dare. Don't you dare! Also, people got shouted out in the crowd. Gucci Mane was there with his wife. Nia Long was there.

Nia Long was there. Kim, no last name. I was like, which Kim? If it was little or big ass Kim. You tickled yourself with that one. I really did. Because it came off the dome so quick. And then who else was there?

I feel like there was one more person. I can't remember. I can't remember either, but we were like, Usher, we're here too. He did not care. He didn't know.

We didn't let him know. No. We sure didn't. And then the funniest thing happened during the concert. So there's a camera person who follows him around so everyone has a good view

of Usher. And he came so close to this woman and she pulled out her phone and Usher is he came so close to this woman and she like pulled out her phone and Usher is here she's holding her phone and the camera operator

gets behind her and it says storage full it was really funny it was so I screamed she's like oh my god

this is my chance and it's, can't. No, the phone was like, bitch, no. So funny. And he came really close to us, but not really. He was like so close, but so far. He like, there's a moment where he came in the crowd and he was like up on the DJ booth. And we were like, if you just come, come one section to the left, we'll be here.

He never did. He never did. He never did. That's okay. It's okay. We probably would have died. Probably. Probably would have passed right away. Yeah.

Oh, my God. And then I was so confused because some people didn't stand. They were seated. But a lot of people were standing. I was like, so what are you? You're like listening to Usher and looking at butts. Like, how is that fun? I don't know.

Well, maybe they couldn't stand uh-oh i'm an ableist wow cancel me in my monkey sweater how dare you in your monkey sweater and then the second day uh we went and drove cars um i got to drive a fucking ferrari around a fucking racetrack i was the only black person and the only woman in your room yeah yeah it was wild yeah i was with the rest of the wives like go get it go get it honey you do the thing with the machine. I don't know how to do it. That's so funny. You were my wife that day.

I was. We were all filming the racetrack like, go get it, yes! Yes! That's mine in the red one. God, that's so funny. And my coach's name was Big Mac. That's what he said.

He said, I'm Big Mac. And I said, that's a choice. And he told me that I was really good. And I walked in and I said, I'm a fucking race car driver. Like a child. I was so happy. Yeah. Oh my God god it was maybe the best day of my life it was then we go-karted then we did go-karts and that was very fun she somehow beat me

yeah i was 12 and you were 16 something like that yeah but like i was in the in the stall first doesn't that mean I'm the winner? Or no, I was in there third. So I'm the third. I don't know how they calculate it. Me either. I don't know. I was really upset.

I'm sorry. I was like, I was going fast. You were going so fast. So fast. Yeah. I love going fast. You were going so fast. And then after that, we had dinner with all of our best friends at this restaurant called Le Cirque.

Yeah. Ooh. all of our best friends at this restaurant called Le Cirque. Yeah. Ooh. It was funny because we were like running late because for a racetrack, they were going real slow and it took forever for us to finish the process. And then we like had 15 minutes,

like get ready for this fancy dinner. And then the restaurant calls my phone and they're like, she's like, hello. And I was like, hi. And she's like, how's your night? And I was like, are you calling from the restaurant calls my phone and they're like, she's like, hello. And I was like, hi. And she's like, how's your night? And I was like, are you calling from the restaurant? And she's like, yes, I am. And I was like, we're coming.

We're walking through the casino right now. We're so close. And she's like, okay, well, this is a dining experience for an hour and a half. And you told us that you have a show to go to in an hour. So, and she like kept talking and I was like, shut up. Like we're going to be there. It was wild. I was like, is she going to be on the phone the whole time from the elevator to the restaurant?

Almost. And then we get there and I was like, hi, I was talking to you on the phone. And she's like, yes. Okay. So I did talk to someone and it does seem like we can fit you in, but we will have to. And I was like, great. Cool. Sit us down and give us a menu!

And, oh my god, when we told the waiter we only had, like, a short amount of time, he started speaking faster. Yeah, everything was in double time. Everyone was like... They threw the menus at us. They were like, give us here! Wine! And then I felt like I had to eat fast and I was like, shuffling food in my mouth.

And I was like, I don't have to do that. And then we were out of there like 40 minutes it was like record time it was so quick it was so fast but they were all

so nice to us it was wonderful they kept giving us chocolate it was really nice and then the dessert was my favorite dessert I've ever had in my whole life

it was a ball it was a chocolate it was a chocolate ball it was a chocolate ball and then they poured hot chocolate on it and then there was ice cream in the middle yeah it was good right It was a chocolate ball. It was a chocolate ball. And then they poured hot chocolate on it. And then there was ice cream in the middle.

Yeah, it was good. Right? And I did that. No, I didn't ooh softly. I was just like, oh my God. Yes. So loud in this very fancy restaurant. Yeah.

But then everybody loved us. Everyone really loved us. And they were like, come back next time and get the full experience. And I was like, I guess we have to. We do. I love it here. We love it. The like ceiling was tented. I don't, there was scarves.

Like a woman was like, my scarves. I don't know. Well, I think it was like to be like a circus tent. Oh, fuck. Cause it, le cirque. Man. Yeah. I truly was like the drapery and then we went to chris angel mind freak

and i'll tell you something my mind was freaked my mind was absolutely freaked yeah i would die for chris angel and this is why we decided to go can you look up chris angel dismembers people maybe yeah or like like cut someone in half or cut someone in half uh it's a wild video that sashir sent me and i was like sold we have to go he had a um if you don't know chris angela is the hottest magician in history yeah vanishing magazine says he's the number one magician of our time this is a real thing from vanishing vanish magazine um he had a show on spike tv tv The boys channel? Yeah, TV for men. Which is ironically my favorite channel because it had Ink Master. Oh, yeah, that's right.

I loved Ink Master. Yeah. Okay, bloopers. There's bloopers? What do you want me to find exactly? Okay. God, what was it called? So he's like in a park.

No, that's not helpful not helpful maybe go to YouTube yeah and then maybe I feel like it's one of the most searched ones that I yeah maybe

yeah Criss Angel Mind Freak and see what happens no no no no maybe okay body No. No. No. No. Maybe, okay, body. Yes, Chris rips bodies apart.

It's truly the wildest thing I have ever seen. You have a phone? Can you turn your phone on? You're going to want to remember this, trust me. It's truly the wildest thing I have ever seen. This is the era when like magicians would go on the street with a baseball cap and be like, I'm going to blow your mind. And then they did. And I got to say, Chris, during the show started late because of a parade. And 10 minutes into the show he had done like a couple tricks he was like the show started late because of the parade not because i'm on drugs and i was like i wasn't thinking that but not thinking that at all these are now these are strangers he doesn't know these he doesn't know these people it's magic they're laying people. It's magic. They're laying on a bench.

They don't know what's going to happen. They have no idea. So there's two people, a male-leaning person and a female-leaning person, laying on a bench, cross legs, arms up. There's cell phone cam. Okay, so now two other strangers are grabbing those strangers' wrists and feet. Yeah, and feet. His ankles.

Oh, yeah, grab his ankles. Hold it just like that. So they're on the bench. Don't let go. Wrists being held. Feet being held. Hold it for a second. Okay, now another couple's coming.

They don't know that woman. They do the same thing. These are all strangers. Yeah, they're all strangers. These happen to be at park. Okay. This whole person. Okay, grabbing the wrists, grabbing the ankles,

cross legs. Cause she's a woman and she's wearing a skirt. Yeah, cross those legs. Okay. Okay. Just like that. Relax. Okay.

Now he's looking around. Cause he's like, I don't know what I'm doing. Okay. And then he tells the lady to relax, close her eyes. And then he

taps on her on her torso twice, three times. And then she's apart! Her torso is in the background.

What? He picked her up. What did he say? No. No. He dropped the torso. He fell down. What?

And this is a clean cut. There's no blood. No blood. Nothing. She's running away. And now he's putting the woman's torso on the man's legs. People are running for their lives.

The people running away are so funny. He's not okay. And this man looks sick as hell. This torso man who's getting put on this woman's body. Now he's retouching. Oh, no. That's not where that goes. He doesn't look good.

Because he doesn't have the right legs on his body. He's having a hard time. I love this woman creeping up with a pink phone. She's like, I gotta get this. Oh, no. She's so confused. She's like, cargo shorts? Where's my skirt?

Dude, you got my legs. You got my... and then he walked away he changed these people's lives forever and just walked away so she sent me that video and i was like but i need to see more of what any anything this man does i want to see i'm obsessed with him yeah oh he didn't do that unfortunately he didn't do that trick but he did levitate and like walk around and we spent hours trying to figure out how he did it i have no idea we don't know and that's why it's vanishedished Magazine's best trick of ever. Ever. He's a mind freak.

Yeah. Yeah, man. There was a moment where he was in a straight jacket and he was upside down hanging above the audience. This is his first trick. Yeah. And he's like, I'm going to get out of the straight jacket. And we're like, cool.

And then they had these fans on stage and they blew garbage in our face. They just blew a bunch of trash at the audience. And we were like, no. And then magically he's out of the straitjacket. And I was like, I couldn't see anything. Was the trick, you just blew trash in our faces? So we couldn't see anything? Like the wrapper in my eye was a bit distracting

from the straitjacket thing. And then he did a trick where he disappeared. And then I thought a large woman was rushing past us but it was chris angel like in a cloaked in a cloaked hoodie runs into the audience so it's funny because to everybody else he just appeared there but to us we were like yeah we saw him like scurry like past audience members to like sit down and also he starts the show with like a demon on stage.

Oh yeah. And there was a child in front of us that was like, no. It's not a kid friendly show. No. And they should say that.

I think they should. He made a bunch of dick jokes and was like, ah, kids. But honestly, I would die for Criss Angel. I'm like obsessed with him. Yeah, I would go back.

It was very fun. And then we saw Cirque du Soleil. This is day two still. We did everything. We saw, oh, the Cirque du Soleil show that's in water. And tonally, it was so different from Mind Freak. My brain had a hard time catching up. I was like, yeah.

I was like, where's the Nickelback music? No one's throwing trash in my face. It's just like nice clowns on stage. Yeah. I don't know what the show is about at all. No clue. I paid attention to every second. I could not give you a coherent thought pattern about that show but it was so beautiful it was really pretty there was so much water and i said to sashir later i was

like because like the we were up top so like the stage is here and then there's like a huge pool and then you know the sides of the stage or whatever i was like sashir how do they like start in the water how do they get in the water and she was like well i think there's an opening it just like goes further than you think and i was like well i think there's an opening it just like goes further than you think and i was like you don't think it's just a door they open and they're like hurry get in there after i said that i was like am i dumb am i stupid it's okay um but yeah at the end of the show the people didn't stand up and clap after people were like contorting for an hour and a half

and it was their second show of the night. So I stood up and then I was like, stand up, peasants. This is yours. You can't call these people peasants. Yeah, as we were in our like VIP area. Stand up, peasants. I demand it.

Well, they needed to stand up. They did such extraordinary things. Yeah, it was great. God demand it. Well, they needed to stand up. They did such extraordinary things. Yeah, it was great. God, it was so pretty. And then we went to sleep. Yes.

Because I tried to go to a strip club and you said, I don't know how many more minutes I'll be away. Yeah. I was going to be down for it,

but then we went outside and the taxi line was so long and I was like, I can't imagine being upright for any longer. And then the last day.

What do we do? We got brunch. Yeah. We got massages. We got a little sleepy. We lay down for like 30 minutes and we got dinner. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

We went to Mama Foucault, which is so delicious. And then we went to Meow Wolf, which I kept calling Werepanther. Yes. Which is not right. And it was so fun. It was very fun. It was wild. There was like a scavenger hunt.

And this lady was like, it takes a couple hours. I was like, we don't have a couple hours. We've got to go see Magic Mike. We're doing every event you possibly can in Vegas. So then we went and saw Magic Mike. And I finally got what I deserved. Because last time we went, I think a solid five years ago, Sashir was stolen from our seats and taken to a piano.

And a man played it. And she spun around and everyone stared. And then our other friend hooked up with a dancer and then i got nothing i stole a glass because the show gave me nothing yeah uh you know magic mike they're strippers they dance on you and someone whispered do you want to be a piano girl and i was like hell yeah and and then i sat on the piano and he played in between my legs on the keys i mean it was the best and then nicole was crying in the audience couldn't be happy for me although

you did say i'm in a better place now where i would be happy for you i did but during cirque du Soleil, there was a piano on stage at one point. And so she was like, that's where I like to sit. But then it sunk into the water and I was like, and that's where I'd like you to go.

And we laughed and laughed at our top little perch and looked at the peasants and were like like we have jokes but this time was my time because i've complained about it publicly and then a nice man was like we'll give you a nice experience and i was like yes um so they brought me on stage because it was finally time for me to get what I deserved. And then, so Mike, have you been, has anyone been to the show?

It's fun. It's very fun. If you haven't been, go. But so it's like there's a whole storyline and Mike has to like become Magic Mike. And then his like first dance, he brings someone on stage. Was it his first dance or maybe his second dance? First dance, yeah. So I got brought on stage and then I got like a lap dance and he like spun me around and he like kept whispering in my ear.

He was like, listen to all my directions. And I was like, yeah. He was like, keep your legs closed. And I was like, okay. And then at one point he's like, I'm going to lift you up. And I went, no. And so she took a video and you could just see my curls going. Yeah. okay and then and then at one point he's like i'm gonna lift you up and i went no and so she took a video and you could just see my curls going yeah her wig was just shaking back and forth and i was like i don't know what's happening but she does not want it

and in the video it doesn't look like he's struggling but like i felt it i he lifted you pretty easily and it looked like he had it, but you can feel it when people lift you and you're like, I don't know if this is going to go well. There was like a couple seconds where I think even he was like, what have I done? Because he had to lower me all the way to the floor. And I was like, Oh, but it was Yeah. I loved it so much. I was truly so happy. And then there was a woman so drunk that she was escorted out. And it was maybe the funniest thing I've ever seen in my whole life.

It was like, she looked like a flamingo. Like, her legs kept locking. And when she came near me, was like oh no i was like if this lady pukes on me i'm gonna be so mad wait we saw flamingos what day was that i think that was also the same day as magic mike oh my god we did so much so much so she took she was like i have a surprise and i said okay and then she whispered to the cab man outside and i didn't hear it because i plugged my ears and then in the cab she said it again i plugged my ears but i heard it and she was like did you hear it and i was like yeah we're going to flamingo and she was like yeah and i was like to see celine dion and she was like

what i was like am i gonna meet a dolphin she was like what again am going to meet a dolphin? She was like, what? Again, am I dumb? Because I didn't put it together that we were going to Flamingo to see flamingos. Well, I guess I wouldn't have known. I looked it up. I wouldn't have known just off the bat that flamingos would have flamingos. I guess not. It was, I don't want to shit on it.

Because I did get to see flamingos and I love them. Yeah. But what a nasty little ditch they had them in. I couldn't believe it. I was like, so you took them from their home to live here? Yeah. I saw the website made it look like they call it a wildlife habitat. Yeah. There's like pictures of parrots and other things.

So I was like, ooh, they're going to have a whole thing. There was no parrots. It was two ponds and mostly ducks. Yeah, a lot of ducks. And I do like a duck. We love ducks. But I can see a duck anywhere. Ducks are everywhere.

And then six or so flamingos. Yeah. And then they had like tags on their legs with numbers. And I was like, that's not great. But I think it's like, if one gets sick, they're like, that's number four. There's got to be. No. If you're a zookeeper, you know your animals enough. You know who Bobby, you know who Susie is.

You don't need tags. No. If you were a zookeeper, wouldn't you want to know your animals? Like, really know them? There are no zookeepers at the flamingos resort in las vegas the website did say there was a zoo talk at 2 p.m and like six oh yeah which is a wild time 2 p.m and six yeah like no one's pretty late oh but wait we didn't talk about my experience at Magic Mike. Oh, yes. I loved it for you. Well, the host came by and was

like, do you want to get on stage? And I was like, yeah. And she's like, it won't be as exciting as Nicole's dance. And I was like, that's okay. I had a really fun, exciting time last time I was here. I was a piano girl, remember? She's like, I don't know who you are. And then she

brought me on stage with an elderly woman named Esther. She was like 70 something. I was like, okay, me and Esther. And then she was like, let's take a look at all these men. And then like the men were surrounding us and we were like, ooh, okay, something's going to happen. And then Esther got taken to one side of the stage and I got taken to the other. And we each had a man in front of us. And then the man in front of me bent down and he took his underwear

off and there was another set of underwear under there. And I was like, okay. And then he took my hands and put it on his chest and rubbed it down and then put it on his butt. And I was like, ooh, ha. And then he was like, and then he just held my hands for so long. To the point and I was like ooh ha and then he was like and then he just held my hand

for so long to the point where I was like oh I guess we're getting to know each other we were just having a conversation on stage he was just like holding my hands he was like so where are you from and I was like LA and he's like what you here for and I was like a girls trip and he's like cool and I was like

is it when we're gonna do dancing and the audience couldn't hear the the conversation but we're just yeah we're just hitting it off and then uh the host comes over and is like tell sashir how much you appreciate her and then he says something french in the microphone and the host walked away and he whispered in my ear he goes do you know french and i was like no he's like neither do i like oh which is so funny it was really funny do you know french no neither do i they told me to say this lie

and that was it and then they walked me off stage and sat me down and then the very next thing that happened was a woman got whipped cream sprayed on her and this man licked it off of her and we were like why couldn't she do that yeah i was like why didn't they pull me over there for that experience and then another lady got railed on the piano yeah like you had the nice dainty time but a lady truly was like i you said she looks like she's gonna fall off the piano yeah he was ramming her and i was like imagine going to the hospital i was like yeah i broke my neck at magic mike but i think no i mean no one got hurt i think they they know what they're doing they're professionals they're professionals they are multi-talented they

play instruments. One sang. One sang. In a very high falsetto. Oh, and they have this aerial thing that was not there last time we were there. No, it was so fucking good. It was really good. Pretty sexy. Very sexy.

And a splish splash dance. They were in water. A splish splash dance. What else would it be? Splish splash is water. Have What else would it be? Splish-splash is water. Mm-hmm. Have you ever fucked in water? Yeah.

Yeah. I just think it's so unsafe. Unsafe? Was it a pool or a shower? I have done both. Chlorine just slamming up your pussy? I can't!

Whose pool? Okay. I'm from Indianapolis, Indiana. And there is a... Is that an excuse? Let me finish. We all fucking

pools in Indiana. We're not near the beach, so we're like, a pool pool do. There is a hotel called Sybaris. I don't know if it's. Yes. Wow. It's a pool hotel and a fuck hotel.

And it's like I've seen commercials of it since I was a kid. It just looks so funny. It's like kind of place that has like a mirror on the ceiling and a heart shaped bed and the pool in the room. So like you have a bedroom and then there's a pool room that you can, it's your room. You can do whatever you want in there. So I, I did fuck in that pool. Okay. All right. Do you remember when I was dating someone and i was talking about fucking in the shower and i was scared so i was like can i call you while we do it and if you i actually don't remember this i maybe blocked it out i was like that can't be what she asked me i did i said sashir i've never had sex in a shower. I'm thinking about it, but I'm really scared that I'll slip

and go through the glass and hurt myself. So can I call you during it? And if you hear anything bad, you say, you call 911. And you said, of course. I cannot believe you don't remember this. I don't remember this. But I would have done it. I would have done it. I can't believe you don't remember this but i'm like you're a good friend i would have done it i can't believe you

don't remember it was like an emphatic yes maybe it wasn't emphatic and it's like yeah sure sure did you do it no did you get a call i guess i didn't so you didn't I will absolutely call someone I don't want to die in a shower like just shards of glass in my naked body

wait where's the glass coming from the shower door if I slip and fall through the shower door well I guess it's not locked or latched yeah

I guess it would just open it would hurt but I don I guess it would just open. It would hurt, but I don't think it would shatter. In my brain, shatters. Glass everywhere. Then a man with his dick out being like, oh, no. And then the phone going, is she okay?

Do I make the call now? Can you make the call? Yeah, you're there. Yeah, also that you had to call me and like, you think both of you will be incapacitated that you couldn't call? I guess I didn't think it all through.

I guess it's a wild fear. I mean, it could happen, yeah. People slip in showers all the time. Yeah. But now I'm thinking my fear is a little too outlandish. No, it's okay. Hey, thank you. I cried at Mama Fuco.

Am I saying that name right? No, someone said no. What is it? What did I say? Oh, no. Say it again. Momofuku. It sounded like I was trying.

You laughed at me. It sounded like I was trying so hard. Anyway, I cried there because I needed Pepto-Bismol. And so she started Googling. And I said, first flamingos, now you're Googling. Because it felt so nice that you've done nice things for me. The table next to us, I don't think they were into me crying. I don't think they were paying attention.

I think they were. Everyone's paying attention to us. Yeah, we're always having fun. Well fun well yeah i wanted your tummy to feel good for the rest of the adventures we were having in vegas we did so much yeah and you didn't nap today no well that's wild yeah i know my internet wasn't working so i was trying to figure that this is a saga i know i think it's kind of working now kind of yeah it's i have working now. Kind of? Yeah. I have like a, this is so boring. It doesn't matter.

They want to know. They want to know. See, six people want to know. Everyone else is like, fine. Woo. Sure. How's your router not good i don't know i think i actually had i i think i did steps i didn't need to do oh because i my

wi-fi wasn't working and then i have my machines the modem and the router my machines I have my machines I have in a little drawer and I opened it and the I had them in a little drawer and I opened it and the router was glowing red, which is bad. So I was like, something's wrong here. So I took it to the Internet place and I said, give me a good one. And then they gave me a good one. And then I plugged it in. And then I was like, wait, it's still not working.

And so I took my other thing, which was a modem, to the same place. You're a machine. I'm a machine. I was like, wait, it's still not working. And so I took my other thing, which was a modem, to the same place. You're a machine. I'm a machine. I was like, I need new machines. And then they gave me a new everything. And then I brought it back. And it still wasn't working. And then I called.

And they're like, oh, there's an outage. And I was like, did I even need to do this? And so then the outage was done. And then part of it, I don't need to explain this. It sucks. And I didn't want to be doing any of this. I went to the store too many times. I've called too many companies. And everyone keeps saying, just unplug it and replug it.

And I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm sorry. You need to get a spectrum technician out A spectrum technician out to your house. They really don't want to do that. They really, really don't want to do that. What other internet is there? There's AT&T, there's Verizon. Oh, there is more.

I thought spectrum was my only option. I think it depends on your location. It does depend on my location? I think so yeah oh not every place service is everywhere interesting yeah internet's so silly how come we don't have like universal internet like universal health care one internet for all i don't know Like, why are there different internet companies that are giving me the same fucking thing?

Um, I have no idea. Capitalism. Yeah! Oh, yeah, capitalism. Down with capitalism! Let's take it to the streets! Yeah! Let's wake up Joe Biden!

Tell him what we think! Wake up! Yeah! Let's wake up Joe Biden. Tell him what we think. Wake up! And he's like, that's your only problem? Yes! There's many. Should we do a quiz? Should we? Yeah.

Let's do a quiz, and then we'll answer people's queries from the audience. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Oh, God. Well, I guess we have to do Are you more of a rat or a cockroach Yeah I like that one

Yeah I like that one a lot I mean Which one? Oh are you a rat or are you a cockroach? The one that I made bold You want us to do it Jordan What do you think I am, Jordan? There's no good answer.

Fair. I'm hoping to be a rat. Why? I think rats are kind of cute. Oh. Right? I think cockroaches are terrifying. Yeah.

We were in Palm Springs one time, and we were in the, well, you were in the hotel pool. I was sitting, i was rooting you on from the sidelines we went to the most insane hotel yeah it was an instagram hotel that nobody worked at and the maids just left themselves into your room while you were sleeping and you would open an eye and go no we didn't know that they were there did we i think we i feel like we woke up and we're like everything's changed at one point yeah so the first time it happened everything changed second time i woke up and i said no and then they left damn yeah um but yes the pool oh yeah so uh we were at the pool oh we were walking towards the pool and then there was a roach in the pathway and there was like a little standoff and we were like stomping our feet and like get out of here and it didn't

move at all and then we were like you can have it and we just like ran past it and then got to the pool having a nice time and i'm I'm looking at Nicole in the water. And I was like, something's swimming towards you. And I was like, what do you mean? And I was like, it's a route! And it was beelining towards her. And then it crawled up onto the surface. Yes, it sped towards, like, past me. And it took no time to adapt from the water to the land.

It was just like... And then it flew. It flew away. It was like, I can do all modes of transportation. Water, land, sky. You cannot escape me. It was terrifying. We screamed and then shut it down for the night.

We're like, we can't be out here. No, we're like, you own the pool now. It's fine. That was the weirdest hotel. Yeah. It was pretty though. It was pretty. Yeah.

Are you more a rat or a cockroach? Okay. What is your favorite food? Burger. Anything with sugar? Toothpaste? Cheese! Imagine

so sure I looked at you and I said, tooth-faced. I eat tooth-faced. I'd be concerned um i'm gonna say burger i am gonna also say burger i love a burger what is your favorite color food color black yellow green also these pictures that are

accompanying black is like chunks of coal also what is food color mean just any food color anyone um I will say this green okay I'm gonna say black great I wonder sometimes most people say green.

Okay, I'm gonna say black. Great. I wonder, sometimes most people do the thing where they're like, one question is obviously going to be like the thing. This one's tough. I don't know. Because who's going for the toothpaste? I feel like both would. Yeah. Okay.

How many friends do you have? Five. What? What? Did you just say five? Did you just answer the question? Did you just say five? Did you just answer the question? Did you just say five? I think I was reading

like ahead. I think I was reading ahead and I saw five. It's on the second one, but I just skipped the first one, which is none. How many friends do you have? Five. So, I'm happy to be one of your five friends.

Oh my god. That wasn't me answering, but also, kind of. I mean, I truly only have three friends. Okay, none. Between one and five. About six to nine. I mean I truly only have three friends okay uh none between one and five about six to nine ten plus

anybody who says they have ten plus friends I think is a sociopath that's too many friends well I guess some people have different um definitions of friend

someone said ew ew I mean I agree but wait what is your definition of friend someone said ew ew i mean i agree but wait what is your definition of friend um a uh person who i love very strongly and uh has been in my life for a long time or can be in my life for a long time and we have a level of trust yeah Yeah. That's what I think a friend is. Yeah. And then I have like acquaintances. Yeah.

Those are people I'm like down to clown with. But like, I don't like trust you with things. Uh-huh. You're not my friend. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to say. Jordan. Jordan's. Sorry. jordan jordan's

i'm sorry jordan's hovering over between one and five okay she's like i listen to you guys every week i know you constantly are like we don't have friends yeah i know how many friends, I guess between one and five. Same. Because you know how I, like, really quantify a friendship? Like, who's going to be one of my bridesmaids? Oh, okay. Don't tell my sister, but she's not on the list. You can't even do, like, a, like a... Just put her in there.

No. It's my wedding. She'll give me away because my parents are dead. You know? Why'd you say it like that? My parents are dead. Are you making fun of me? What?

You know, because my parents are dead. You got to keep it light and fresh. What is your favorite movie? Deadpool. Black Widow. What? These are nobody's favorite movies. The Hunger Games?

Puss in Boots? What? What? Not one person has said, Black Widow's my favorite movie. I guess I'll say Deadpool out of this cluster. I mean, I think they got a lot of things wrong in The Hunger Games.

I don't think they stuck to Susan Collins' original vision. Okay. Is it a while that I know who wrote The Hunger Games? I guess I actually didn't know you read the books. I loved the books. Are you kidding? I felt like Katniss shouldn't. I thought she should have been in ethnicity. Because i felt like katniss shouldn't i thought she should have been in ethnicity

because i felt like well she is in an ethnicity also yeah she's not here why are you whispering you're right um in an ethnicity not white okay um and i don't know why i whispered it like jennifer lawrence would like listen to this podcast i was like is she talking about me I can't hear it but in the book it felt like she was saying that people in the capital were like white people who like got too powerful and then everybody else was like black and brown people who would have fight for their like sport or whatever and Katniss is described as like tan skin so I was like so she's like Puerto Rican or like Brazilian yeah that's what I thought so I'm gonna say Hunger Games I read all three books and was very disappointed by the third movie I guess the Hunger Games is my favorite movie yeah i guess so how old are you

12 to 18 19 to 25 oh my god 26 to 38 39 to 49 50 to 60 60 plus we're almost in that 39 to 49 range we're getting old well we are still in the 26 to 38 range so we can put it that one and old. Well, we are still in the 26 to 38 range, so we can put it that. We skirted in there. Yeah. Okay.

Favorite meal? Didn't we do this? No. Wasn't that the first question? I think it was favorite food. Oh. This is a whole ass meal. Oh, okay.

Breakfast. Snack. Wait, what is that snack is that just a cup of cheese it looks like mustard or mustard with chips there was also many uh stores and casinos in vegas that just said snacks. Lunch? Dinner. Oh, okay. So just conceptually, when do I like to eat?

I guess maybe breakfast is my favorite meal. I guess I like dinner. Okay. I never really thought of it. I do like eggs. I'm never having eggs like dinner. Okay. I never really thought of it. I do like eggs. I'm never having eggs for dinner. This one just says, choose a picture.

Okay, so like flames or something? An old-timey bathtub on a wood floor. Just some water. And a cityscape. I like water, so water? This is one of BuzzFeed's most unhinged quizzes. This is wild.

The tub is in a house and I like that, so I guess I'll pick the tub. Okay. Okay. And choose a flower. Are those tulips? I believe so. Pink tulips. And I think that's a sunflower.

A lily? Yeah. Is that a dried up rose? I think it's like a dead rose. It's the rose from Beauty and the Beast. Oh, yeah, that does look like the Beauty and the Beast rose. I'm going to pick lilies because that's my dead mom's name. I'm going to pick the sunflower.

Any reason why? Because it's nice looking. So this is Nicole. Nicole's a rat. I am a rat. You, you're a sneaky little rat. You like snooping in others' business and stirring the pot. I mean, who doesn't? You're also really, really really you also really really really love cheese that's true you do love cheese i do

except cold cheese it has to be melted when i was little i used to say i don't like raw cheese and then i said that into adulthood and then someone finally was like, cheese isn't raw. I like my cheese well done. I do. I love a little crisp to it. Okay, what's mine? I'm also a rat. Yes. Wow.

Thank God. We're both rats. Oh my God. I'm glad we're not cockroaches. When you picked the bathtub, I was a little worried because I feel like that's like a cockroach place to be. I really couldn't predict anything

from this quiz. It was pretty tough. I wonder if the person who wrote the quiz is okay. I feel like they're just running out of topics because they have done so many quizzes, so they're like, I don't know. I don't know.

You're a rat or a cockroach? Are you a rat or a cockroach? Okay. Now we're going to do questions. Yes. Okay. So there's a microphone. To there. gonna do questions. Yes. Okay. So there's a microphone to there. To there.

Jordan, were you guys saying something? I was just, I wanted to triple check. Do you only want to do audience questions or do you want to do? Oh yeah. Ooh, fuck.

It's up to you. Maybe like one, uh, either written or called in question and then we'll take it to the audience. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Does that work for you guys? Okay. Oh. We got to read? Okay. Oh, this is a sit cheer with such hair question. Oh. Sit cheer.

Sit cheer. British accent. I hope it doesn't require a British accent. I was crying when you did that. Because we had had a conversation where she was like, oh, I had to do an English accent for an audition. I was like, oh, how did it go? She was like, I had a little help from a friend.

And I was like, oh, OK. And then thought nothing of it until how did it go? She was like, I had a little help from a friend. And I was like, oh, okay. And then thought nothing of it until she did it on the podcast. And I was like, oh, I don't want to do it. It's, I honestly, you don't have to do it. Okay, thank you.

But it made me laugh so hard. Yeah. Because it was really funny. Not because you were bad at it. No, I was bad at it. That's why it's funny. No, you committed. That's why it was funny. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

You're very nice. You can read it in whatever accent you want. Hi, Nicole, Sashir, Jordan, and Kimmy. This is sort of a question for sit sheer with such air. But it's also kind of a friend's question because my couch is my best friend. I love my couch. I talk about it daily. But she's a bit enormous

and she won't fit up the stairwell of my new apartment, which resulting in me crying on the floor while my movers navigated around me to bring other stuff in. Anyway, I had to take my couch to storage and in the process crashed the storage truck into the side of the

building. But that's not really important here. I'm having a really hard time finding a new couch because I'm so busy being in love with the one that got away. Which is how things go

with dating after a breakup, too. But this isn't a metaphor. It's really about a couch. Do you have any advice on how to proceed with this absolute nightmare of a situation? Thank you for your time.

Sincerely, Furnitureless in Philadelphia. I've never actually been to Pennsylvania. This was a fun email. Yeah. I mean, I feel like if there's a will,

there's a way. She literally said it doesn't fit in the apartment. I would get different movers. What do you think could change, though? I don't know. Someone with with ingenuity is that a word ingenuity ingenuity somebody with a sparkle in the brain i want a young ingenue to help me with my couch yeah or like find someone who's an engineer

i guess you could leave it in storage until you're in a bigger place. No. I really think she can get this couch into her apartment. I don't think she can. I really do. It wouldn't go up the stairwell. Yeah, because of these idiot movers. Who knows if we got

somebody else on the case. I think she should try again with different people okay all right or measure the couch measure the stair like i would exhaust every option because i love my couch and i don't want to part with my couch even though it's a bad couch right i want to figure out how to fix my couch and she loves that couch aren't there people who cut couches in half and then like move it in medea medea bitch i don't know what the fuck you're talking about you can't say medea and then tell me to get it together it's june 10th

i've seen diary of a mad black woman You can't say, Madea, and then tell me to get it together as Juneteenth. I've seen Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Oh, I'm talking about how to keep the couch. This is when she destroys the couch? Yeah. Because she's so mad? That's destroying it. What I was talking about.

There are people who dissemble a couch and then put it back together in the actual space. Oh my God. Chris would have it in a flash. Chris would have it In a flash Chris would be like Your couch is over here

It's inside your stomach He would put it together With one side normal And one side upside down And walk away He's like You're welcome Yeah I think she should

Call a couch cutter Yeah She should call a couch cutter yeah she can call a couch cutter i also think it might be a nice opportunity for a new thing like you're shaking your head no i don't like change change really affects me it makes me upset it also sounds like i know the person writing it said it's not about the breakup, but it sounds like maybe they just went through a breakup and they're trying to hold on to something. Maybe.

Which there's nothing wrong with that. Well, they just don't like change. There's nothing wrong with that, but maybe keep the couch in a storage unit, and since you do need a couch in your current place, maybe get a couch that fits the current place. And then maybe over time you might be like, actually,

I realize I don't need that old couch anymore. It doesn't fit my life currently. And literally. Truly, I would exhaust every option to get that couch in there you're like i love my old baggage i do i love it let me bring it everywhere um yeah that's what i you were probably smarter or whatever or like have a better handle on it but nobody's taking my couch no one's trying to take your couch.

You can't have my couch! Did you write this? Just a little something on my mind. All right, should we answer audience questions? Yes. You can just form a line to the mic. We can ask really any question but we try to focus on friendship questions yes oh no this one right here yeah that one

okay okay hi what's your name hello you can um angle it. I'm Lila. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. So I'm curious. What would you what advice would you give for someone who like has had like a best friend and like kind of could see that dynamic within what I think is your dynamic where you just love each other so much and you're like just like like that. But then you've drifted apart and so now you're missing that connection with that person. Reach out to them. I think maybe trips, like if you can afford going on a trip, that's really great.

If you can't afford going on a trip, maybe it's like if you don't live in the same town, you spend time together in some sort of capacity where it's like uninterrupted fun time because you were away for six whole months. Yeah.

And then you came back and then we went to Vegas for three days and had a lovely time and I feel very like connected with you and not that I felt a disconnect

but it was like so much time had passed I was like oh my god I really miss my friend. Yeah. So like this weekend was just like it was like so much time it passed i was like oh my god i really miss my friend yeah um so like this weekend was just like it was like magical and nice and it was fun to spend so much time with you i agree yeah and i didn't snore you guys she did so good and you could also just like uh send a random text people People love random texts. It's like, hey, I was thinking about you. Or like, I saw

this thing and it reminded me of you. Do you want to meet up? Or, you know, any excuse to like say hi. Because I think maybe I don't know if anyone else feels like that, but I feel like in the pandemic, I forgot about people. Like, because you don't

see people all the time. And then I was like, oh, yeah, I used to hang out the person all the time or like, I love this person, but I just haven't said anything to them in like months. Yeah. So I think it's OK if the drifting happens. But if you just like say, hey, thinking of you or like I miss you, I think you'll find that people will respond extremely positively to that because they also might feel the same way

you just don't know because you haven't reached out because anytime I've reached out to any of my friends I haven't seen in a while I've been like

I really miss you can we? and they're like yes! I fucking miss you girl and then we go to dinner it's a nice time yeah

hope that helps solved! solved! hi hi my name's Jose short version of my question I hope that helps. Solved! Solved! Hi. Hi. My name's Jose. Short version of my question is just, I had a falling out with a friend,

and I just need to know if I should pursue kind of repairing things. The longer context of it is my friend has been dealing with a meth addiction for going on two years. And so initially what had happened was that he would tell me stories about his relationship with his family and with other friends. And he would only give me half of the story. So he would say like, they're not listening to me. They're throwing my addiction in my face. I'm just going to have to cut things off. So I didn't really think anything

about it. Then we get to a camping trip that I invited him to. He was high on mushrooms and weed the entire time to the point where he was just out of it. And like he almost put his foot into the fire and didn't even realize that he did it. And then got angry that we weren't inviting him to go on a hike. And I told him quite literally, you were so out of it that I was afraid if we took you on a hike, you would fall over a mountain and die. And so he told me that he didn't want to hear that and that we would have a talk. But then when we had the talk, he didn't really want to talk about it. And he just kind of talked about how he was indulging more in his vices. And he was saying, quote unquote, I was becoming Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and I was becoming the monster that

I like to be. So I just kind of needed to separate myself from that. But then he started giving me ultimatums and saying, like, I don't know if you actually want to be my friend. But if you don't, that's completely fine. We can just cut it off. And I said, Okay, let's talk about this. And then he just it our schedules weren't aligning. And then finally, he just kind of said, okay, let's talk about this. And then he just, our schedules weren't aligning. And then finally he just kind of said, like, I don't really appreciate you not being there for me. Because there was one situation where he got blackout drunk, got on a scooter, rammed it into a parked car, knocked out all of his teeth. Oh, my God. And passed out on the floor.

And he tried to use that as leverage for me staying friends with him. And I just kind of, for me personally, because I know about addiction, and I was just like, you can't really use leverage against me because that's not fair to me. Like, if you're going to be my friend, obviously I'll be there for you, but you shouldn't be using that against me. So he just finally cut things off with me and didn't want to talk. And then I cut things off, just blocked him on socials, blocked his phone number. And the day after that, I noticed that my car, my side mirror on my car was completely broken off.

And my said friend lives like right down the block from me. So I kept on spiraling and thinking that it was actually happening. But when I had heard from some mutual friends that he was getting better and that he was taking his treatment seriously. But then apparently his job started finding out about what he was doing. So he likely had another relapse and started spiraling. And a mutual friend kind of confirmed to me that said addiction friend actually broke my mirror and was bragging about it. So my thing is, is like I understand that a lot of this behavior is just kind of the addiction coming to the forefront and that maybe somewhere down the line that we could remedy things. But I'm just kind of finding it difficult to actually find a headspace to like find

any hope for any kind of reconciliation. And I don't really know if it's worth pursuing in the long run. This it's tough because addiction does take over people. They are a different person. It's technically not their fault because they are addicted to something. But I do think there is a line between being a good friend and being taken advantage of and having your boundaries crossed and your life being affected by this person's addiction.

I think as long as your life is being affected negatively, I do think you should go no contact with them because I don't want you to like spiral and feel bad, you know, or like have them do something that then affects you in a negative way. And then you take it to work or you take it to other parts of your life. I do think there is something to sending a message and being like, when you're ready to work on your addiction, and honestly, maybe sobriety is not the thing they need. Maybe it's just like some sort of like therapy or like, I don't know, like they do ketamine treatments or whatever. Like there's a lot of different treatments that you still use, but like, you know, not as badly or whatever.

I think you can reach out and be like, I'm happy when you get your life under control to be your friend again. I think. This is a little tough. I will say maybe talk to a therapist about it because I'm not a therapist. But yeah. Yeah, we're definitely not experts in this. But I like what you said. And I'm sorry you're going through this.

I'm sorry your friend's going through this. Addiction affects so many people and it sucks. And I think maybe if you do want to say anything at all, a message of like, well, when you're ready, I would like to actually be friends. But in the state that you're currently in, that's not going to work. And yeah, it sounds like when your friend receded, that they weren't in a place where they wanted to get better. And that's hard to be around.

You can't help them if they don't want to help themselves. So yeah, I think right right now maybe focus more on yourself and, like, protecting your peace before you try to bring this person back into your life. I hope that helps. Yeah, I have a friend who is currently an alcoholic, pretty bad alcoholic. I just put up boundaries that I don't drink with them.

And if they get too drunk, I leave a location because i don't like seeing him like that it makes me feel bad um and then i feel like i'm enabling him when i drink with him so like that's the boundary i've put up with him so maybe that's awful i don't know well thank you yeah you're very sweet thank you hi hi sorry my heart is beating so fast I kind of feel like your tit that one time

oh my god why would you bring that up she's talking about my first kiss I had my first kiss was when I was 17

and I was so nervous my heart was beating so fast out of my chest that my tit was like gyrating out of my shirt and the guy was like are you okay and I was like yeah I'm fine I'm fine okay um so I understand that previous question was kind of heavy so I have something shorter and a little bit more light-hearted if you two had your own separate romantic comedies who would you want to play as your love interest and who would you love to play as yourselves respectfully why would they be separate

you'd be my love interest yeah you'd be my love interest yeah because not every love is romantic exactly some of it is platonic i recently told my grandpa that soashir was my life partner and I was like I think when we get old if we're not married we'll probably like live together and take care of each other and he was like show her to me and I showed her I showed my grandpa Sashir and he went oh okay and I don't know what that means

I trust that face okay And I don't know what that means. It's like, I trust that face. I trust that nice lady. Okay. Yeah, you're my love interest. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, okay. So if I had to pick a man.

Actually, I wouldn't pick a man. I'd pick Michelle Rodriguez. I really love how she's just there. And I don't mean that as like shade or anything, but like sometimes she'll just be like, Dom, and you're like, you're falling off a mountain, and like, you're just like, Dom.

Also go see Fast X, it's really fun. But I, you're just like, dumb. Also, go see Fast X. It's really fun. But I just really, she's so chill. That would be my love interest. Or Jason Momoa in culottes. Why in culottes, specifically? He wears a lot of gauchos and fast acts. And his nails are painted.

Are these all based on facts, X? You're like, that's the last movie I saw. I would date all of them. I'm like, actually, Jason Statham. Actually, the Rock and the Post-Credits scene. Actually, Lil B. You know, Dom's son,

Brian. I'm kidding, that was a child. I did have one problem with the movie. That's not her question, but yes, what is,

what was your problem with that? It's just that Dom named his son, Lil B, Brian, after a person who's alive in the franchise but dead in real life it's confusing i answered the question michelle rodriguez yes yes Tessa Thompson. I like the little like,

here's a little tidbit. Chainsaw. Valkyrie. I had a thing for Domhnall Gleeson for a while. Oh wait, I still have a thing for him.

Yeah. Him too. Him too. Yes. Those are our answers. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hi, my name's Anna.

I'm here actually with one of my best friends, Cassie. Oh, yay. And I'm currently in like a situation ship. I'm dating someone that she doesn't like. Okay. So I'm wondering. She's crossing her arms. She hates it.

To be fair, I've given this guy multiple tries before and he's just not it, but I just keep coming back to him and I know it's a situationship. So what would you say about dating people that your friends don't like? Yeah. Should I run? Is that the answer?

Well, okay. Nicole definitely dated someone I did not like. And... You know this! It took me a second. I actually was like. And... You know this. It took me a second. I actually was like, who? Yeah, he was bad. Yes. But I think there were times where I was like,

maybe trying to give advice that I thought, like what I would do if I was dating this person or whatever. And I felt like that. I mean, you tell me how you, or, or whatever,

either respond to this or don't, but, but it felt like if I was like too overbearing with like cautious advice or saying this guy sucks or whatever, you would recede and not tell me anything yeah and and eventually i was like i'd rather know what's going on because i don't i don't want you to be like sad by yourself or like be in a shitty situation i don't know about it so then i kind of like reeled my, my own opinions about this, like in and kept it more to

myself. Not, I like if there was something really bad, I would say, Hey, I hate, I don't like this, but, uh, yeah, I was, I would, I would try not to harp on it too much. Cause I was like, well, she's going to learn her own lesson one way or another. I can't tell her what to do. It's her life. And I'd rather like, no, she's okay than not. So, uh, I guess that's more of a advice to your friend. Um, she's going to make her own mistakes and, and you know, she like, you already said, you know, it's not a good situation. So let her go through it. Does he look like a big he really does he really does yeah the dude i was dating had an enormous uncut dick and i'm like oh my god oh every time i'd be like maybe it's love oh wait. I thought you were coming to dispute the length of the dick. She's like, actually, I'm serious.

No. Okay. Well, I hope that helped. Yeah. I think she only doesn't approve because she wants the best for you. Yeah. Like, so Shira would be like, I would tell her terrible stories and she'd be like, and how did that make you feel?

And I'd be like, not good. But it was like, nice that you that make you feel? And I'd be like, not good. But it was nice that you listened. Do you know what I mean? It would have been not fun for you if you kept lecturing me to be like, you shouldn't be with him, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I'm not with him. We never go out during the day. To just add to that, I do feel like i just have like lessons i need to learn so thank you for that yeah no problem also i'll tell you this you're worth more than a situationship

like thank you you really are i promise you hello my name is aaron um so much a little bit similar to theirs, kind of, kind of. It's just friends and dating. In my friend group, we have Tyler and Zach. Tyler went out. Do you really want to say their names? Tyler and Zach. I spent in line making up fake names.

I'm like, which one? Oh, good job. Okay. So Tyler went out with this guy and the date didn't go well. It was bad. And then a month later, Zach went out with the same guy

and they're doing well. And since it's our friend group, Tyler obviously found out, but now he's giving Zach an ultimatum, like me or him. And we're all like, Tyler, you want this one date with one guy is bad and just get over it. But he's just like he's just in his feelings. So I'm either of the guys.

I must ooh hmm what should both of them do I guess I mean the one who was rejected should just get over it in my brain like I mean it might suck to see this person and be like oh it didn't work out between us but like

you can't be happy that your friend is doing well with this other person um oh yeah but you can't be happy that your friend is doing well with this other person. Oh, yeah. They just didn't get along. They didn't vibe well. Well, then Tyler should know. Obviously, we're not together.

Tyler does not like the guy. He does. So he still likes him, so he's not over it? Tell him to listen to some Frank Ocean and fucking move on. I think it was also a little bit of bro code, a little bit. I went out with this guy. I'm like, it was one date.

But it was one date? Yeah. One date? Yeah. No, he got to get over it. Yeah. Let's see. How do you present that to a friend, though?

Yeah. Wow, you guys are harsh. Get the fuck up over it. You ever see Tyra McMacken? Black woman? I mean, it sounds like someone needs to ask Tyler, like what? Like Tyler gave the ultimatum to Zach, but like what matters more to you, Tyler, your friend who you were friends with for years or this guy you had one date with? That's good.

That's a real rational way of thinking. I'm like, get over it. Yeah, because that's not fair because then you're like prioritizing this new person. Yeah, I think that might put things in perspective for them. I think that's actually really good to share. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Oh, my God.

Okay, I hope that helps. Yeah, thank you. Solved! Hi, guys. Hi. My name is Akilah. Hi. I've been in LA for like eight years.

Can you do me a favor? Could you just be a little bit closer to the mic? Thank you so much. Is this better?ilah. Hi. I've been in LA for like eight years. Can you do me a favor? Could you just be a little bit closer to the mic? Thank you so much. Is this better? That's better. Thank you. Pull it down. Lower it.

Yeah. I'm too short. Okay, here we go. My name is Akilah. I've been in LA for like eight years and I've had trouble finding quality friends. So if I go to an arts market dance class, I meet really cool people, vibe with them, share Instagrams, but just nothing pans out or they're pretty flaky.

So do you have any tips on finding quality friends in LA? Yeah. There's people here. Yeah, there's people here. Yeah, thanks for saying that. Also, trap them. So when you meet them, instead of just exchanging Instagrams,

be like, there's a very cool place I wanted to try for dinner. Are you free anytime next week to try it? Okay. Trap them. And then they have to go through their phone and then be like, well, I'm busy every day.

Or they're like, Tuesday works. And then you're like, Tuesday works for me. And then you go to dinner and then hopefully it blossoms into a nice friendship. I like that. Yeah, Tuesday works. And then you're like, Tuesday works for me. And then you go to dinner. And then hopefully it blossoms into a nice friendship. I like that. Yeah, trap them. Because LA people are flaky. And anytime I've wanted to make a friend with someone here,

I've had to trap them. By being like, what day will you see me? Yeah, I agree. that helps the first date what get something down the first date what get plans the first yes oh yeah the first time you meet them and you're like vibing or whatever like when you exchange instagrams instead of doing that have a restaurant in mind to be like i want to go to this place thanks guys yeah okay i think this is the last one no pressure hi long time listener first time questioner uh i tickled you i I really liked it. Wow, that was just a life goal of making you giggle. And I truly am going to ride that high for a long ass time.

But I want to start off by saying, Nicole, I really appreciate how much you talk about therapy. COVID was hard for me. And I openly talk about therapy at work now, about how I need a mental health day and how things are really hard for me. So with my family who, you know, doesn't use therapy at all, and it's helping my husband and I go to couples therapy. And so I just want to say like, I quote you all the time. You and both of you make me so happy. So I just want to say thank you so much for like how much you talk about therapy. It just makes me feel like, you know, I'm not the only one out there. And I feel like not a lot of people do that.

So I really appreciate that. Thank you for telling us that. Yeah, thank you. Of course. Everyone should be in therapy. We went through three years of a pandemic and we're all like, we're fine. And no one talks about that. I know.

It's still going. I keep saying it to people. I'm like, we all went through something so traumatic and we're like, we're in Vegas. There's the Eiffel Tower. We almost died. We sprayed Lysol on French fries. I'm like, we all been through something so traumatic and we're like, we're in Vegas. There's the Eiffel Tower. We almost died. We sprayed Lysol on French fries. And no one talks about that.

Also, how's Clyde? Clyde is good. I thought I saw a dog here and I was really excited it was Clyde. No, he bites people. So I can't. I'm okay with that. Well, he got... Okay, so I went to the

Irvine Improv, and I brought him with me, and he bit the server, and she had to go to the hospital, and then I had to present his paperwork that he didn't have rabies and shit, so I don't bring him anywhere anymore because... Also, he doesn't have very many teeth,

but he's like, I'll get you. I'm going to use these ones till I got them. What? I said he's going to use those ones he's got till he's got them. Yeah. But he's good. Thank you for asking. I also went to your fake funeral in Montreal.

And I have to say it was pretty great. Oh, thank you. So in Montreal, there was like a living wake. So it was like a roast, a nice roast where people say like nice stuff. And Matteo Lane did it. And he told a story, but only got two words out. And we both started laughing. I don't know if he finished the story.

It was great. We just laughed so hard. Thank you. Do you have anything to say about me? Well, I didn't know how much time I had I'm here too I told you damn dragged alive

I did have like a half a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc before I came up here because I was nervous yes but I do have a question I swear to God

sorry so I had a really bad falling out with a friend from high school where I live in D.C. and I just never went home to North Carolina to see her. And so, you know, it just was kind of like a toxic me always being the planner, always being the person who did all of the work. And kind of, I was just like, why am I doing this kind of thing? And so, you know, then I found out that I had planned this whole activity this whole weekend, taking time off work.

They were going to come. And then one of my other best friends tells me they were on a trip with them and they had been saying how they had been just lying to my face the whole time and weren't going to come. And I was, you know, they had told me they had been running and I was like, oh, that's great. You always said you hated running. Like, let's go do this race together. You know, I'm not a great runner, but like, you know, we could train together from far and like kind of bond over that. And they said, yeah, I just don't really want to tell him the truth so I just keep telling him I'm gonna come and I never went so I just stopped responding to her because I was just like I'm you know I was going I have like you know mental health stuff like everyone does and so I was like I'm just

not doing that shit and my husband was like yeah just give up like you've put a lot of work into it it's just not worth it and so I did and they sent a lot of texts, you know, apologizing after the fact, but now I have to go to a bachelorette and I might be officiating a wedding where there are bridesmaids in it for our other friend. And I wanted to know. Yeah. So how should I approach that? I texted her cause she got married the other day and she texted me when I got

married and we hadn't talked. And I was like, you know, good luck, Godspeed. Kind of thing, but just like, you know, trying to be like you did, you did it, so I'm going to do it back to you.

But now I'm kind of like, how do I not make this super uncomfortable because we're going to New Orleans so no one will be sober. So I just want to avoid like attention being on that and taking away from anyone else do you want to do a phone call before you get down yeah that's yeah that's what I was thinking kind of yeah yeah a phone call might be nice because I just want to be

like you know we had our situation let's move on and know that it's about this other person and not us I think that's great yeah I'm just and know that it's about this other person and not us. I think that's great. Yeah. But I'm just like dreading. It's usually, I feel like most conversations I've had with friends or anyone in my life that it's like, it feels heavy.

It's usually better or easier than you anticipate. Cause we're probably both nervous. I'm sure. Yeah. I'm sure your friends also like, Oh my God, I don't know. Cause we've been friends since high school. And then all of a sudden I was just like, it's just not worth it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure your friends also like, oh my God, I don't know. Cause we've been friends since high school.

And then all of a sudden I was just like, it's just not worth it. Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe like send a text and like, Hey, do you have time to talk before we go on this trip? I'd love to like,

you don't even have to say what it's about. Just like, do you have time to chat? Yeah. Can we chat? And then it doesn't have to be a long chat. You don't have to rehash anything. It could just be like,

yeah, I, I want to be around you in the situation and not have it feel weird. Yeah. Because, yeah, we're here for somebody else's celebration and let's do that. Cool. So, yeah. I agree.

I think that's very smart. And I know I catastrophize. Yes. In my brain. Evidence with the shower sex stuff. I can't believe that I thought the glass was down. Anyway,

I tend to be like, I have this issue. I need to talk to somebody. But like, what if they hate me? What if they're mad at me? What if they push me down the stairs? Which is a thing I say to my therapist a lot. She's always like, why do you think people are pushing me down the stairs? Which is a thing I say to my therapist a lot. She's always like, why do you think people are pushing me down the stairs? How many stairs are you around? And I'm like, I don't know.

It could happen. But I think, yeah, I think you're like, you might think it's going to be a worse conversation than it is. Your friend might just be like, yeah, we did have a falling out. We're not as close anymore, but we can still be in the same room

and we can still have a conversation. But yeah, I also do think it's important to remember that like it's not about you yeah it's about your friend getting married and if drinking does like make things more intense i mean it might suck being in new orleans but like maybe you just drink a little less yeah maybe it's like two in you're like that's my limit for now or if like she's getting really drunk or whatever like do, do you know what I mean? Just like remove yourself a little bit from a place where something could like be contemptuous. Look at these words.

You plopped down like it wore you out. Enough big words for me. I'll Google that when I get home. I hope that helps. Yeah. Thank you again for everything. I'll Google that when I get home. I hope that helps. Yeah. Thank you again for everything. Yes. Thank you.

I think that's it. We did it! Yeah! Thank you so much for coming. Hopefully we'll do more live shows because Tashira's back in town. Yeah. And there's a writer's strike

so we're both unemployed solidarity solidarity oh yes solidarity thank you for coming have a good night.