Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer’s A Green Traveling Queen

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

Sup friends! Nicole’s butt hurts! She was sitting for 8 hours getting her hair done. Sasheer is getting new windows to keep the hot summer outside. Nicole thinks it’s going to be a hot sexy summer. Sasheer is trying to stop buying clothes cause she has so many. Nicole got recognized by someone in a compromising position while in the club. Nicole got a bunch of stuff tailored and she’s excited. Sasheer points out that people would get things tailored back in the day and they have a great one. Nicole wants to find out, where boat go for swim? Sasheer believes that Nicole will find warm water to swim in. Nicole wants some dolphin earrings. Sasheer is on her swimming journey and she’s better in a pool. Kimmie finds out how long it is to take a boat right from Los Angeles to San Diego. Nicole loves to wear purple while Sasheer likes to wear green when traveling. Nicole and Sasheer do a deep dive into periods, pads, and toxic shock syndrome. Plus, they answer your questions about a friendship with a sister-in-law & social media and small town mess affecting a relationship.  This was recorded on June 14th, 2024. No BuzzFeed quiz this week. Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

so she my butt hurts your butt hurts my butt hurts why because i got my hair braided. Oh, you were sitting down. And it took a really long time. How long? I was there from, I was supposed to be there at 9 or 8.30. But you know me. I did not get there at 8.30. I got there probably at like 9. No, I got there at 8.45. I was exactly 15 minutes late.

Oh, okay. That's not terrible. Yeah, thank you. So 8.45 and then I think I got home at 6. So, okay. That's not terrible. Yeah. Thank you. So 8.45. And then I think I got home at 6. So we were done at 5.40. How much was it? That's 9, 10, 11, 12, 12, 1, 2, 2 to 3, 3 to 4, 4 to 5, 5 to 6, 5, 6, 7.

Eight hours. Eight hours. Yeah. It's a long time. I clocked in and out. It's a full day job. Yeah. That is.

Yeah. I like your hair. But thank you. She does a good job. Yeah. I got a lot of it too. She's ready for the summer. Oh, yes, girls.

Let's go, girls. Oh, my God. Summer is upon us. Yes. And it's going to be a hot one, I think. I think so, too. Hot in temperature or hot in sexy? I think both.

I think it's going to be hot in temperature, and I think it's going to be a sexy summer for us all. Yeah. Well, I'm literally getting new windows. So I hope the hotness that's outside doesn't creep on the inside. It stays outside. It stays outside. I get that.

Do you have summer plans? Do I? Not really. No. Okay. I feel like any plans, I don't know, plans come up, but I'm never like, for the summer I'm doing, you know, like, because time doesn't mean anything to me. Because time is not real. I could be working at any time. I could not be working at any time. So it's not like, oh, like summer is my opportunity to do a thing if that makes sense but i will say summer

is your opportunity to be outside yes it is because it's warm it is warmer than usual yes it really sounds like i just discovered summer's hot yeah did you know? It's warm during these months. I think it's because, okay, so I love buying stuff. I love buying stuff on eBay. I love Poshmark. I love Etsy. I just found a pair of pants for $10. And I was like, doesn't really matter if they fit because they were $10.

I think I got a deal on the shipping too. I think the shipping was only three. So these pants were $13. I think I got a deal on the shipping too. I think the shipping was only $3. So these pants were $13. You'd be wasting money if you didn't get it. Yes. Yeah. What am I doing? Keeping $13 for myself?

Selfish. I'm keeping small businesses afloat by buying things that I'm not sure are going to fit. So I've been buying shorts and stuff. So I'm really excited to wear my shorts. Get those legs out. Yes. Yes. Sashir,

I have a hip hop set. That's how it was advertised on eBay. I think you have to perform hip hop. I think that's the rule. I don't think you're allowed to wear that set unless you do hip hop. I think that is the rule. I have to do hip hop in it. And I'm like so excited to wear this set.

It is so bright. Yeah. I'm going to get so many compliments and I can it. And I'm like so excited to wear this set. It is so bright. Yeah. I'm going to get so many compliments and I can't like, I'm so excited. I'm very excited to see them. So like summer is it. My legs are going to be out. Yes.

I guess I'm trying to stop buying clothes because I have so many and I'm trying and like now I'm just digging in the back of my closet i'm like oh this is cute and then i wear it like wow i've never seen that i'm like i've had it for three years but i don't wear it often well something serendipitous happened so i have uh it is a an armoire with a rod and i had the rod removed and I had shelves put in and then the person who did the shelves uh made the shelves out of the heaviest material possible and then they're held up with pegs little little itty bitty pegs so yesterday or two days ago the whole thing fell down and I said Dios Mios so then I had to pull everything out of the wardrobe dresser drawers.

And then I was like, well, before I like fold them back and just stack them all on top of each other with no rhyme or reason because I don't have the shelving. I'm going to go through it. Oh, good. And I went through it and I was like, what? I would never wear this. What? But then there was some stuff okay so I had this one shirt what that I wore to ramrod um a club in um Florida that might not be open and when I walked in there was a man sucking another man's dick and he like took the dick out of his mouth

and he went Nicole Byer it was one of the first times I was recognized. And that's the best way to be recognized. He was so taken by you. He had to take the dick out of his mouth. To say hello. To say hello. And I was like, I think it's time I got rid of the shirt. Like, I don't wear it anymore. Aw, that's a good memory.

So, Shira, you're not helping. Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. But you do that to me too where you're like i just i know remember you in these clothes from 10 years ago and i'm like sure i also remember that but i don't wear this have you gotten rid of that denim dress no i have not i really don't want you to i just am not gonna wear it but you might no actually when i but but what what if i find a denim dress that it's identical to that and we do a same denim dress day then i'll wear it for

that but that'll be the one time i wear it and then i'll give it away after and i don't know why it looks so good on you i understand you're not in a dress era right now. Neither am I. And I have a ton of dress. I should just give away the dress. That's what I'm saying. I don't feel like that person anymore. I'm not in a dress era.

It is very cute. But I feel like it could be loved by somebody else. Someone else should have the opportunity to rock that dress and look awesome. It's not getting any show in my closet. Oh, my God. else someone else should have the opportunity to rock that dress and look awesome i'm it's not getting any show in my closet oh my god oh my god you're also talking to a person who will buy things that don't fit and keep them for years because i don't want someone else to look cute in it okay so that's a different mentality yeah yeah i'm a hater don't want nobody else to look good no i'm a fucking hater man um i had a bunch of stuff altered and i'm excited to get it back yeah uh she did um alterations on

nailed it and i like i was like oh yeah i have her number and she's like and she's altered some other stuff for me too but here's what i did i went on a frenzy and i kept finding the cutest stuff but it was like definitely not my size yeah so then i would google image search it and find another one and then i had her sew them together to make outfits for me. And I have my fitting on Father's Day. So hopefully my dead daddy will come to the fitting and go, wow, look at my genius daughter. He'll approve. This is what I would have wanted. I would have wanted her to sew floral shorts together

from the 80s. Well, I saw a post that was talking about how like people back in the day like in the 70s and 80s like always looked so awesome and like their outfits were so like like they just looked great and people were like that's because tailoring was more of a thing back then everyone just tailored their stuff it was more common to do that and i i guess people still do it but i feel like it's people are just like trying to find things that fit or like making whatever that was in the store work but it's like yeah if you just tailor to your body of course they look awesome yeah i mean uh i hamlet Hamlet the tailor we go to on Hillhurst, he made these pants fit my butt so good that I was like shocked. I was like, I've never seen my butt like this in jeans. It's popping.

It's delicious. Yeah. It's hitting right. Okay. Oh, wait. I'm all about tailoring. And he wasn't that expensive no not at all it was it was reasonably priced i think it's family operated everyone is nice i had a great time 10 out of 10 tailoring experience it really is yeah and i've been to other like random alteration places and they're like not as

good we found we found a real gym we did and i love that you try the stuff on and he tailors it to you because i've also gone to tailors where they're like what do you need and i'm like oh i just need to take it in like four inches on each side or whatever and then they do it and it's not to my body specification yeah i can't that doesn't even make sense to me even at tailors that weren't as good as the one that we go to i've tried things on i can't imagine someone being like yeah i got it like you have to see it on the person well i won't i won't reveal the name but air it out no it's on a street on a street so you go down the street and around the corner and that's

where it is i know we're talking about and this old lady she was just like yeah what do you need and i was like four inches taken in she was like got it and i got it back and i was like you don't got it you don't got it no no because it fit in the waist but not in the butt also everyone's body is different like what it was really wild yeah lord jesus okay here's my summer plans that you didn't ask i want to get i don't want to know i want to get on a boat oh yes you do want to get on a boat and i'm gonna get on the boat too yes a bunch of people are gonna get on the boat okay and i gotta figure out where boat goes for swim oh i missed a lot of keywords in that sentence uh where a boat go for swim where would a boat go in the pacific ocean for hot swim for for like warmer water. For hot swim time.

For warm water swimming. Oh my God. And this is where you figure out that once I talk about summer, I have a stroke. Yeah, you're too excited. It's happening to me. Calm down. Summer!

I don't know. But I'm sure there's companies that that's their thing where they'll like charter you out to warm water so you can swim but i've never tried i googled it and i was like where does boat go for a warm swim yacht cameron and i didn't really get any good answers. Yeah. It was all just like, here, rent a boat. And I was like, yeah, but will boat take me to warm?

I think maybe you need to add more words. Maybe the issue is that there's not enough words in your search. Kimmy on the key! Kimmy's back! Yes! Kimmy, please help me. Please help her find warm water for a boat to go to. But you know what I mean.

I want to jump off a boat and I don't want to jump into cold water. Ooh, burr. Too cold. Burr. Burr. San Diego. Seems like South San Diego is your move. So if you get a boat,

look for boats that you can either charter to San Diego or take a boat in San Diego. And you'll probably want to do it in August. That's when my birthday is. But is it... How far is San Diego by boat? San Diego's two hours on the train. So by boat, I would say,

I don't know boat math, but I'm going to say two and a half hours because I think the water would push against a boat. Push against a boat. I'm a scientist and I figured it out. Sounds good to me. Timmy, would you mind looking up how long of a boat trip it would be from los angeles to san diego because i don't want to keep people too hostage yeah yeah like a full day on a boat is nice there must be a place in near la that that can happen to san diego right no i meant like that is we can oh that's just as warm as san diego yeah maybe that and probably isn't just as warm i keep hearing that the water is cold here i wouldn't know that's so funny wait you have tried it i think you put your feet in the beach water

oh yeah just my why am i talking weird yeah the beach water i've seen you put your feet in beach water yeah i have put my feet in the beach water yeah um yeah and it was cold on your feet right yeah it's so cold here yeah i want to jump into warm delicious water yeah that's salty it makes my skin feel good i believe we'll find it okay Okay. Have you ever gotten out of the ocean and been like, my skin feels incredible? I don't know if I've had that thought. Usually I'm like, my lungs, my nose, I gotta get down. How is your swimming journey going? how is your swimming journey going not well from that description well i guess i haven't swam my swimming journey is better in a pool when i'm in the ocean i'm just like

getting hit with waves and i don't love that and i'm better at swimming like straight like like on a path but I'm not good at treading and like staying in one spot so yeah it's like when I'm in the ocean I'm like well I'm just getting like shifted around a bun I'm getting rocked my socks are getting rocked and and I like with the bobbing motion like this just the waves moving makes me sick so i can't actually stay in there too long yeah um and then i haven't gotten to pool because i don't really love pools that much so i haven't so i can swim have not been doing it much recreationally fair um the i don't fair um the i don't really get motion sickness and then the bobbing of the waves i like it becomes one with me and i like it yeah and then i have whatever it's called where you feel it for days after oh yeah is it is it vertigo or is it wild um it's not vertigo and i'm

i can't remember what it's called. But the first time it happened, it was scary. I was laying in bed and I was like, I'm on a boat. And then it just kept happening. And I was like, oh, I guess this is just a thing that happens when I'm on the water for a long time. And I didn't look up what it was called. And I was like, oh, it's because I'm a water baby and the water's calling me. But it is called something.

I was like, come home, child. Come home. Come home. We're waiting. The water's like, get out of here to me. Pushing me out. Goodbye.

You belong on land. Can you see what i bought oh can you see this is it a mermaid earring it's a dolphin earring oh that's cute it's not the one that you sent me though is it no no. I sent you a different dolphin hearing. Because when I was in Madrid, I found these dolphin hoops. And they were incredible. And I said, how much? And he said, five euros. And I said, deal. And I took out my credit card. And he goes, I don't take cards.

And I was like, well, where's the bank? And he was like down the street to the right over the river and through the woods. And I was like, bitch, I'll find this online. I have not been able'll find this online. I have not been able to find them online. And I'm like really upset about it. So if anyone's going to Madrid and they see a man with a store where he chills outside and there's dolphin earrings, buy them for me and send them to me,

please. Thank you. A man who chills. Give me his answer. This ended up being a real adventure, finding out how long it would take you. Basically, we have to make everything in nautical miles and then know how many knots, which is the measurement of speed for boats. So it's crazy. But all that to say, the calculation I did, which someone can be like, that's insane.

That's wrong. The calculation I got was 12 hours. So my recommendation, take the surf liner. Enjoy a nice view of the beach. The calculation I got was 12 hours. So my recommendation, take the surf liner, enjoy a nice view of the beach, take the surf liner to San Diego, get a boat in San Diego, make it a weekend. Okay. That would be my recommendation rather than taking a boat from LA to San Diego. Okay. Okay. Hopefully that was helpful. That is. It was helpful. But I'm like, do I make my friends take a surf liner to San Diego to then get on a boat? I mean, San Diego is not that far. Oh, my God.

I went recently. It's 12 hours in the. But that's not what we're doing. I know. When did you go to San Diego? My cousin was directing a play. Oh, yeah, to see a play. Yeah.

I forgot. And I'm humiliated. It's quite all right. It's OK. Nope. What kind of friend am I? Oh yeah, to see a play. I forgot and I'm humiliated. It's quite alright. It's okay. What kind of friend am I? I forgot. How dare you not remember? I went to San Diego a few months ago. Oh my god.

I feel incredibly stupid, stupid, stupid. I mean, maybe I could forgive you one day. So I'm going to have a, okay, I don't want to call it a clothing swap to get rid of my clothes. Just to get back to the amount of clothing I have. Yeah. Because I don't want anyone to bring anything to my house.

Do you know what I mean? But I want to bring stuff. Can I bring stuff? But what if I want some of that stuff? See, that's the thing. If you bring something to my house, there's a threat that I might want it. A threat. But I don't think I...

I guess you don't have anything that's my size because you are practical and only buy things that fit you. Right. And also, like, style-wise, I don't know if there's anything that you'd be like jazzed about from my closet okay you know okay yeah i feel like it'd be probably tess and shirako would be like looking at the stuff okay then you can bring stuff to the house okay thank you you're welcome uh okay okay and i don't even bring all my stuff i'll just bring some stuff you can bring it all okay it's just gonna take us a long time because i have three contractor garbage bags full of stuff i ain't got nothing to do that day okay great and then also i went through my travel cases okay because i you know how you get like new travel cases and then you just like kind of throw the old ones in a bag yeah yeah i was like wait i

should get rid of these because i found okay there's this brand i'm not doing an ad for them no one is paying me there's a brand called Pack. And they have this giant backpack that I love. You've seen my giant purple backpack. Oh, the purple one. Yes, yes, yes. That thing fits so much shit. And I just love it. I love it so much.

It fits all of the stuff I ever need. And then they have these like travel, clear travel cubes. And I like the design of them. So I just got them. And they also come in what color? Purple. And I was so excited. Oh, nice.

And then I found a purple neck pillow. So now I have a purple neck pillow. Wow. And then I found purple headphones. So now it's really embarrassing when you like a color and then everything is the same color. And then a flight attendant goes, wow, you really like purple, don't you? And then you forget that everything's purple. And you're like, yeah, I like purple.

How do you know? And then you look down in your suitcase and backpack are purple and your headphones and your pillow are purple. Who told you that? And you were wearing purple. I've been discovering I have a lot of green. And I guess I don't think, I didn't think I actively liked green like that, but I have a green backpack, green suitcase, an all green sweatsuit that I usually wear to the airport. I had a green mask on one day and I was like, damn, I love green apparently.

Wow. Do you love green in life or just for travel? Ooh, that's an interesting question. Maybe just for travel, honestly, because I don't know if anything else is green. I don't really see you in green that often. So maybe it's just for travel gotta go interesting green as green as in go yes green as in go and i'm sustainable but it's like is it i guess you are because you're flying commercial and you're not flying private so you are being a sustainable

queen thank you so much oh but truly i cannot find a sweatsuit to match my suitcase um because it's like a lighter purple and I have a darker one but I do look like grimace in it but I feel like it would be like a real treat I'd be a vision in lilac if I also had a lilac sweatsuit yeah but sometimes I get my period without me knowing and I would hate to get my period on a plane in a lilac jumpsuit or a sweatsuit yeah yeah that's a problem because rust and lilac don't really go together no then just a period same it's just unfortunate have you ever gotten your period on a plane yeah me too did you leave blood on the seat yeah i wiped mine away with um i didn't leave it i think i did try to wipe it away oh but i didn't realize until like i was leaving the seat yeah i wiped mine away with um and leave it i think i did try to wipe it away

oh but i didn't realize until like i was leaving the flight but i uh i even had a diva cup in and i fell asleep and woke up and i was like i'm all wet oh no. I only learned recently that I was wearing the diva cups wrong. Oh. Oh, yeah. We talked about that. I wasn't tilting them. I had them straight up and down. Oh, Jordan said I could wear period underwear while flying.

I don't believe in period underwear and I refuse to try it. I don't know why. You don't believe? I don't have a reason. I don't believe in them. Fake news. But you know that fake news no i i wear period underwear while i still have a cup in so it's like extra security or whatever insurance i rarely unless it's like a really really light day day, I rarely do it. Just the period panties.

And what did the period, they, they soak up the blood and then where does the blood go? Not on your pants. I don't believe it. Fake news. I mean, it's true.

It just, it just stays in the panty. I don't know. I just, I simply don't believe it and I'm not getting tricked and no one's making a fool out of me. Okay. He said they're perfect postpartum. I can see that. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, getting tricked and no one's making a fool out of me okay he said they're perfect postpartum i can

see that yeah you don't i mean it's it's you don't have to you if what if what you have is working which sounds like it's not it's absolutely not but also i just don't know it's coming when i'm bleeding all over the plane do you have it but i have yeah you do it regular oh you're not right you i see no um my period is just like my personality you never know what you're gonna get is that like a intro like on a dating show but it's's about periods. My period is like my personality. My period is fast, furious and angry. Oh yeah.

I never know, but I have recently gotten back into pads. Interesting. And I used to not like them cause they made it like i was like oh this feels like a diaper but now i'm like feels like a diaper and i'm a little baby oh google gaga i'm incontinent i i can't control myself i know squeezing out blood and And now I'm into pads, I think. Okay. Great.

I don't know. I think I'm here for it. And not even cups or tampons? Just a pad? No, no. I do the cup. I'm over tampons because I also don't put them in right. Unless it's an OB.

But I don't, why haven't I bought. But I don't. I don't. Why haven't I bought them? I don't know. It doesn't look great for you. Tampons. Because they like. The cotton strips the lining of your vaginal walls.

Strips? Like the like minerals and things that are supposed to stay up there. Oh my God. Yeah. It's like mining. Like miners are stripping the earth of like resources. That's a little miners. Oh my God.

And toxic shock syndrome is when miners get trapped. You gotta go save the miners. Toxic. Toxic. Toxic shock syndrome. I don't want to shame anybody. But like when people are like, oh, I didn't know there was a tampon in me. I'm like, weren't you stanking? Have we talked about this?

I don't think so. I don't remember. I mean, if I leave a tampon in like for too long i'm like something's something's afoot and you gotta root around in there and then you pull it out but like people will lose it for like a day or a week so i lost it for like a month i have talked to somebody and part of me maybe this is not you but i was like in my mind i'm like is maybe this is not you, but I was like, in my mind, I'm like, is this me? Is this you? Someone put a tampon in,

forgot I was in there and put another tampon in. And then they just kept changing. And then I forgot about it and put another tampon. Okay. So this was in one night. So when I woke up, I woke up uncomfortable because I had three super tampons inside me. And I said,

ouch. And then when I pulled them out, boy, oh boy, was that not fun. But I didn't have it for, like, a week. It was overnight. I had three super tampons in me.

But what if you only thought you had two? And you only took two out. And then the ones that's in there. But wouldn't it start stanking? Wouldn't you be like, something's funky about me lately? Yeah, but then, then like maybe they're like maybe i have a yeast infection or a bacterial infection maybe they're not thinking i literally still have a tampon in me if i stink for two days i have to get to the bottom of it yeah

i also don't know how long a week i don't know how long it takes for toxic shock syndrome to happen oh kimmy you've got all the good google in today how do i get to warm water how long does it take for toxic shock syndrome to set in all the important things also maybe it takes a while to stink maybe it wouldn't happen immediately oh okay they say it can happen within 12 hours but more likely three to five days wow wow okay all right i i guess i don't fault anyone who's had it happen but i will say when i woke up with three tampons on me it was one of the most painful feelings of my whole life i could imagine imagine. That sounds horrible. Yeah. Yeah.

But luckily, all the strings were out. So I just twirled them up and ripped it out. Oh, also, to add to the story, my period had ended the day before. So it was just like for security. So it was, there was no blood. It was dry. So it was just balls coming out. Oh, no.

I came in like a wrecking ball oh boy listen always having fun always having fun always having a nice time i remember that viscerally like i have some memories in my life where I'm like, oh, I can, like, be transported there. And that is one of them. I just, like, remember being on the toilet being like, oh, no. And being like, just got to pull it out. Oh, my God. I mean, yeah. Was it, like, was it super painful or just, like, really uncomfortable?

Yeah. No, no. I woke up uncomfortable and like ow ow it was like teetering to painful do you know what i mean we're like it kind of felt like a cramp where you're like ah it's like a dull a dull throb and then when i pulled it out like that actually really hurt yeah wow i'm glad you made it through thank you you. My roommate at the time, boy, we joked about it so much. She laughed at me. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Oh my

God. That was a fun time in my life. That was a time in my life where I ordered Chinese food every single night. I got chicken wings, french fries, and a grape soda. And they wouldn't even knock anymore. They'd go, Nicole! Yeah. Don't worry about it uh this is new york it's uh harlem it was funny that you introduced it as like i got chinese food every day but you

got chicken wings would you say fries and a grape soda uh-huh but that's not chinese i know i just i would say a quintessential New York Chinese food meal. Okay. Yeah. And they didn't even like ring the bell anymore. They would just go, Nicole, because we were the first apartment. And then I remember once I was like, I don't have any cash. And they were like, well, we'll be back tomorrow. So just pay us tomorrow.

And I was like, okay. And I was like, this is nice. This is community. It is community. That is nice. I loved New York. That happened at another restaurant by my next apartment. Yeah.

There's a restaurant called Toast. Their website used to say truck stop gourmet and they changed it. And I don't know why, but Toast is my absolute favorite restaurant. And I remember my debit card declined and they were like, well, you'll be back tomorrow. It's fine. We'll just put a note that you owe us more. And I was like, again, being taken care of by my people that is nice i feel like i had more routine in new york than i do yeah now but i guess my skill i don't know let's say my i guess my schedule

isn't as like regular but it wasn't really regular in new york either i don't think yes but as my therapist has said um i have become accustomed to the unpredictable and the unpredictable has become uh consistent but like it was like i knew i would babysit i knew i would do shows at night i knew i would work at babysit. I knew I would do shows at night. I knew I would work at UCB. I knew I would do shows at night. So it was like the babysitting times would change, but I knew I was doing that. The times of the shows would change,

but I knew I was doing that. And it was like, and then I knew I would get an audition sometimes. So it was like chaos, but like things that i couldn't not manage no yeah things that they were things i could manage and i just knew that things would happen that way now it truly is like i'm on vacation and i have to come back early for something or like can you fly out to this thing or you're gonna work tomorrow it's you're like very all over the place yeah it's it's weird it's weird that the

the more we work the less consistent the schedule gets truly um oh we have a question jordan says do either of you miss living in new York or do you prefer LA? Okay. I was just talking to Robbie Hoffman about this, but I miss the New York I left. Last time I was in New York, I went to this restaurant and the restaurant was packing in at like 10 and I was like, what? We don't eat past 10 10 we're not out in the streets past 11 30 past midnight like new york is just with covid i think closed earlier yeah um because they had less staff and less people were going out and i feel like it hasn't gone

back to what it was before and this is just me if you live in new york and you feel differently uh jump on in. But yeah, some parts of the city you're like, I can't believe it's so dead right now. But I still love it. I love the energy of the city. Like that will never change. Like walking around New York City in the springtime at like 3 p.m. anywhere in the city is lovely. Just lovely.

Yeah. I do love walking around in New york it's like so easy and yeah that part i miss but yeah i don't think i want to live there right now or maybe ever it was like a great place for my 20s but now that i'm in my 30s i'm like oh i love being in my house i just love being in my home i do love la but i also new york will always have a very very special place in my heart yeah um but yeah i think i'd want to like be i think i want la to be my home base and then yeah bip and bop back. Also, I would love to like spend like a month or so with like

a partner, like if I had a partner like to to like live there, I think that would be fun. Yeah, that sounds like a fun time. Good summer in New York, which actually. Oh my God, I get summer in New York. I mean, that's actually the worst time to go there. Yes, summer in the city is nasty yeah but

I used to love um so when I would walk across 125th there would always be like the Italian ice guys and the closest I could find out here is happy ice um because it's like a creamy Italian ice and it's so fucking good and I used to love licking those walking to the train and there was nothing like like you would just be sweating yeah um but just like licking this delicious thing i yeah new york has a magical really special place in my heart i had such a good time when i lived there yeah same oh my god and you could just like run into people or like yes i feel like more adventures happen because you would just like wander and then be like, oh, what are you doing? I'll do what you're doing.

Okay. Yes. You would just be out and about. And then, yeah, you'd run into someone like on the train and you'd be like, oh, yeah, I'll go to that show. Or, oh, you're going to this bar? Yeah, I'll go to that bar. And then, yeah, when I worked with my roommate, we would like hang out at the bar after work. And then somebody would come in that we knew and they'd be like, oh, we're going to this place.

We're going to this party or we're going to so-and-so's apartment. You're like, oh, OK. Yeah. It's just fun. It's just fun. Golly. It don't happen like that here in Los Angeles, California. Lord knows.

You try to go to a restaurant and then they go, sorry about it. Close for a special event. And then there's paparazzi there and you're like, who's there? And they're like, we don't know. We're just waiting for somebody to come out. And you're like, oh, that's not an adventure. I guess I'll go home. Yeah, I guess we could have waited with the paparazzi to see who was going to come out.

Yeah, but like, what if it was nobody? Which sounds really mean because everybody is somebody. It's true. Yeah. Yeah. Which sounds really mean because everybody is somebody. It's true. Yeah. Yeah. Should we answer a question or query? Are we at that moment yet? I think so.

Yeah. Let's do that. Okay. Let's do it okay let's do it let's do it let's do it and doing it and doing it and doing it good hi nicole is here i've recently been listening to the podcast and i love it and i was thinking that i've had some issues with a future sister-in-law that I was wondering if I could get advice about so um I've been with my boyfriend for about three years and she's been with her boyfriend for about three years so they

um the brothers and I don't really know his brothers all that well he had moved to a different town for a couple for about a year or so so I don't really know his brothers all that well. He had moved to a different town for about a year or so. So I don't really know them all that well, him and his girlfriend. But his girlfriend followed me on social media and all these things, personally followed me. And I followed her back, of course, and it's been fine. And I've just noticed that every time we hung around them or around the house, she doesn't really talk to me, kind of ignores me, kind of rude, but I don't know. She just will make comments that make it seem like almost like there's a competition

between who the parents like more, I guess. I'm not really sure. And that kind of felt that way. I tried not to take it too personally because I didn't really know her. But then I noticed it more and more. And then I noticed a couple months ago that she unfollowed me on everything. And I don't think I've done anything to upset her because I've never talked to her, really. I'm not sure why she unfollowed me.

I unfollowed her, too, because it kind of upset sure why she unfollowed me I unfollowed her too because it kind of upset me that she unfollowed me and then um I'm wondering should I try to follow her back just to kind of prove a point that I noticed she unfollowed me um or should I leave it alone like I don't really want to confront her about it because I'm not kind of that type of person and it could be as simple as she just didn't really care to follow me anymore so any thoughts on this would be great um I would really like to have close relationships with my boyfriend's family so I would hate to for this to be um a barrier to that hey thank you I love the. I'm a wee confused. So she was following her boyfriend's sister and then the boyfriend's sister was mean to her and then unfollowed her. Her boyfriend's, the caller's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend.

Okay. One more time. I'm so sorry. The caller. The caller's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend okay one more time i'm so sorry the caller callers boy friends brothers brothers girlfriend girlfriend so like if everyone got married it would be her sister-in-law yeah because his brother would be her brother-in-law yes okay her sister-in-law not connected to her boyfriend yes okay yeah so she is mean to her and unfollowed her yeah because i guess there might be some like jealous like new girlfriend competition or something like which is so weird it's not even your family like why why start shit with people who aren't yours no i don't know i mean part of me wants to be like who cares like this clearly has nothing to actually do with you as a person this person

doesn't even sound like they know you that well and i yeah that's like her own shit i i i think i would just because also like how often do you have to interact with this person because she's not keeping you from being close with the actual family she's technically not even in the family she's the she's dating a brother but who knows we don't know if she's gonna stick around maybe she will but i don't know also family can suck so like i don't know even if they even if everyone was awesome i don't know if you're gonna be best friends with everybody in the family or maybe you would some people are friends with their family and i don't understand that and then being and then being friends with your significant other's family really don't understand that

so i don't maybe that's the thing that you if this is the thing you want sure but also if it doesn't happen i think that's pretty normal it is wild when like i have a very close friend who's close to their family and when i heard that they still vacation together as adults I was like and then what like what happens and he's like we have a really nice time and we like cook dinners together and I was like and everyone likes it and everyone keeps returning and he's like yes Nicole and I was like oh I just um huh I don't and I've been on one vacation with Jordan said that's what I do that is funny I went on one vacation as an adult with my family and on the third day I lost my mind yeah like

in a Mexican restaurant was like you do what you people want and my sister's like are you okay and I was like do I look okay anyway um Jordan said it's chaos but it's so funny listen sometimes we have different definitions of chaos and funny but I guess I mean if it genuinely really bothers you and you can't just move on which I know that life because she loves to think about something so deeply and hardly and uh really really just nosh on it and mention it a hundred times in therapy that i have to go hey therapist you remember that scene in death becomes her where um helen is talking about uh madeline and everyone in the group therapy starts screaming that's what i feel like right now and she goes

this is the place to do it it's therapy and i'm like okay but everyone in that movie was mad she's like that's group therapy this is singular therapy anyway so i think if it is bothering you there is a cute way to be like oh uh i see that you're not following me on instagram uh i don't think i'm following you what's let's follow each other and if you've had that conversation before i think that like indicates to her to be like, oh, she noticed that I unfollowed her. Or you could just go, hey, is there a reason why you unfollowed me? I just want to like keep up with your life. And I just like that we were following each other since like we're, you know, sister, like a sister in laws, but like we're dating the boys. Yeah.

The boys. I think I think there's a way to make it cute and ask. And I also think if she's being passive aggressive or like nasty, I have a hard time saying my feelings in the moment, but I think a good practice that I've seen people do is like when someone's making you uncomfortable, or if she makes a someone's making you uncomfortable you like or if she makes a joke that makes you uncomfortable is like asking her to explain it because when you

have someone explain something that was meant to make you uncomfortable they then have to say out loud that they were trying to make you uncomfortable and that might be a good way to get her to stop like you know if someone makes like uh they tell you to do that like uh if like a superior is like makes a nasty joke and you go what do you mean by that yeah they then have to explain that nasty joke which is uncomfortable for them yeah um and it kind of flips it um so maybe that's a thing you can do to be like oh like if if she's like my macaroni is better and you're like what do you mean by that and then she'd have to go well the flavors of mine are better than you i was trying to put yours down i was trying to make you feel like shit about your macaroni yeah

um i think yeah i think yeah yeah because it's not aggressive it's just like you just get to go oh i know i i actually don't know what you mean by that. Yeah. Also, sometimes people unfollow people not necessarily because they hate that person, but sometimes it's like seeing someone else, I don't know, do well or succeed or whatever makes them feel bad or makes them feel insecure. And it sounds like there might be some maybe jealousy or something's up. So like, yeah, maybe if she genuinely is jealous of you or like envies you for some reason, maybe it is actually not good for her to follow you. Like, and here's what I say to that.

There's that mute button, baby. You smash that mute button. You don't see nobody. Yeah, that would have been a kinder thing for her to do than to fully unfollow. Because that feels like a statement. Yeah, that's not nice. It's not nice.

It is. I mean, I don't think we should allow social media to affect us the way we let it. But I get it. It's 2024. And it is part of like politeness and it's in this eye geist and it is upsetting when someone unfollows you yeah yeah yeah soft so let's do another one one more okay hello i love the podcast. I saw Sashir live years ago and was laughing so hard I accidentally hit a dude in the face.

Honestly, that's what Sashir would have wanted. This is true. I want everyone in my audience to hit a dude in the face. I have a friend, Jill, that I've known for a long time. She can rub me the wrong way occasionally, but we've known each other forever and we live in a pretty small town and cross paths frequently. So I figured it would just be best to gently put some distance between us, but we can still chat and we'll occasionally link up for drinks and talking, usually with other people. I have historically had a hard time confronting

friends and I'm trying to work on that. Jill has cheated on her husband in the past and shared it with me and other friends so much that it became almost common knowledge again small town energy her husband supposedly never found out oh boy I suspect Jill is cheating on her husband again at the very least she is getting very very near to cheating on her husband again it is obvious to the point that other people, even those who don't know about her past, are calling her out to her face and telling her husband. She tells her husband it's bullshit. They are jealous, blah, blah, blah. In addition, there are kids involved who are being kind of emotionally neglected and having a hard time.

I've asked Jill about it point blank and she swears nothing is going on, but I swear she's lying. When I ask her why is she spending so much time away from home almost every night, she says that it's good for her mental health. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I would love to just walk away from the whole mess, but she is everywhere I go. How do I end this or call her out or otherwise react thank you for reading this there's so of course so much context i can't include from years and years of friendship

but thank you again okay and then she says am i a karen um no i don't think you're a karen um and i do think it's really hard to watch a close friend do stuff that you're like I don't love this but someone you don't like doing stuff that you don't like I feel like is that like there is no empathy do you know what I mean yeah like when a close friend's making a mistake you're like dang I wish I wish I could say something but they gotta live their life but like someone you don't like you're like oh my god yeah oh bitch their children are alone again i mean it sounds like this lady knows what she's doing like yeah she sounds diabolical and bad yeah and also everyone's calling her out and telling her husband she

don't give a shit she does not give a. It doesn't matter what you're saying, actually. No, this lady does not care. She said, I will get my booty eight-leg groceries by everyone in this town. Which is like, come on. You don't need to be doing that. No. You don't got to be the Trader Joe's. Trader Ho's. That got me good.

I like that. Usually your puns send me to leave. They send me away. I hate them. But that one, I really like. Yes. I don't know. I honestly think you can slowly back away from this lady if you're not like close, close.

Like just you don't gotta catch up with her anymore you can just let it soft fade out and if she asks you about it you can be like hey i'm not i'm not down i'm not down with the infidelities yeah it uh makes me it gives me bummies yeah i think that's i think that's great because again, she knows you're behaving bad. And you have yourself called it out and said something. So I think if you just want to remove yourself from that energy or knowledge, because also, like, it's weird knowing that. And then you also know her husband.

And it's strange. Yeah, I think it's very possible. Even though it is a small town, just because you see it doesn't mean you have to interact. Or interact so much. You're just like, hi, and then keep moving. Keep it moving. Get to the back of Applebee's.

Scoot on back to the Applebee's. Because to me, small towns, Applebee's is where it's at. Applebee's are everywhere even even though they got rid of the apple chimmy cheesecake and i have mentioned it so many times and i don't know how to get it up the corporate ladder to let them know that business will be booming if they bought if they brought back apple chimmy cheesecakes and dollar margaritas it would be a wrap for everybody maybe we should boycott applebee's until they bring it back. I've been boycotting Applebee's and that's done nothing. I mean, like everybody.

Oh my God, everyone stop going to Applebee's. I don't want them to go out of business. Red Lobster's almost on its way out and I'm devastated. They have the best smoothie I've ever had. If you have a question or a query, you can email Nicole and Sasheer at gmail.com. But you have to drink that smoothie fast, otherwise it separates. We also have a number, 424-645--7003 i have no idea what's in that smoothie we also have merch at podswag.com slash best friends i didn't know red losser had smoothies nobody does but they have this

strawberry one that is incredible but i'm not kidding you have to slam it down otherwise it separates into a weird liquid and it's like froth on top, liquid on the bottom. And it looks sick as hell. We have transcripts for our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. Leslie, don't forget to rate review and subscribe.

That is the easiest way to support this show. And they'll give you a lot of biscuits to go at red lobster, but they never heat up the same. I have never figured it out. Oven, toaster oven, nothing. Well, see you later.

See you later. Signing off from the kitchen of Red Lobster, it's been Nicole Byer. Bye. Bye.