Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer’s Got Something in Her Eye

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

Friends! Sasheer has something in her eye and Nicole helps her clear her sight. Also, nobody was prepared for the arm choreography in the Tom Cruise movie Minority Report. Sasheer had a mechanical bull ride at her party and Nicole enjoyed it so much, she wants to find a mechanical dick to ride. They both found out that there is no brick and mortar business in California for a mechanical penis ride. Nicole hates the term lover and thinks we should get rid of the words “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” Plus, they answer your questions about a friend forgetting birthdays, advice on celebrating Mother’s Day when you’re grieving and whether or not Sasheer’s Team Pacey or Team Dawson.    Sources: Minority Report: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0181689/ Minority Report Video Clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwVBzx0LMNQ&t=33s What Pointing Means in Some Cultures: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/cross-cultural-gestures_b_3437653#:~:text=As%20a%20professional%20speaker%2C%20I,America%2C%20and%20many%20other%20countries. Slick Dicks: https://www.slickdicks.com/ Cannibal Animals: https://www.discoverwildlife.com/animal-facts/cannibal-animals-creatures-that-eat-their-own-kind The first amusement park: Lake Compounce https://www.lakecompounce.com/discover-the-park#:~:text=Lake%20Compounce%20Campground-,America's%20First%20Amusement%20Park,can't%2Dmiss%20concerts. No BuzzFeed quiz this week.   Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hi, hi, hi, hi. Oh, hi, hi, hi. That was nice. Wow. Did you get the message I sent you on your birthday? I don't think so. I sing on it. Oh, look at that. Is it a voicemail?

Yeah. Okay, I'll check it. I'm trying to sing a song from the movie Liar Liar, but I simply can't really remember how it goes, which is... I don't know the song from Liar Liar. I think it's just, Happy, happy happy birthday i'm so happy today it's great i believe jim carrey's kid is having a birthday party that he like comes to later misses all together there's a clown there and the clown is singing it and i was like why does he sing that because isn't happy birthday like a song

anybody can sing in any movie like don't we all have the right to happy birthday it's our god-given right like right isn't it like a license free song i believe so yeah but they chose not to do it and that's like one of the most beautiful things about liar liar they were telling the truth their own truth their own birthday song and nothing but the truth baby how was your birthday it was so great the actual day the actual day was so nice um the actual i just rested because the my birthday party was the day before so i just like chilled the hell out it was so nice boy that getting old. Taking a full day to recuperate. I mean.

From festivities. Truly. But I think, I feel like I probably would have done that when I was younger too. No. I guess there were times where I would have just gone, like, gotta go to work. Gotta keep partying. Gotta keep partying. Gotta go do other shit.

I watched all of Baby Reindeer. What an intense fucking show. It's really intense, yeah. I couldn't believe it. Yeah. I was watching and being like, huh, huh, huh. Yeah, I really wanted to finish it,

but I was like, I can't say I'm enjoying myself. It's not a pleasurable watch. It was not pleasurable. It was not like a good time at any point. It's never a good time. Never a good time. They're each 45-minute episodes of bad time what is in

your eye are you okay who's in there do you need a mirror maybe do you have one she's wrestling oh it's a little dirty how could i possibly see oh wait there's tissues here thank you you're so helpful thank you oh my god no one ever says that it's like one of those things where i can't see it oh it's probably like a invisible hair or something or like a fabric thing maybe if you pinch your lashes do you know what i mean and like pull sometimes i'll pull whatever's there out did you get it no do you want me to look at it? Sure. I think you should blow on it.

No, I hate when people say that. Why would I want to blow in my eye as if there aren't particles in their mouth? Yeah, I'm not blowing in anyone's eye. But I'm going to get a... A flashlight? Yeah. Okay, look down. Okay. I don't see anything.

All right. Ooh. Huh? look down. Okay. I don't see anything. Right? Ooh. Oh, wait. Look up. Did that help? Oh, it was the eyelash. I think so. Yeah.

Wow. Awesome. Thank you. Also, in saying that I showed it to you, I was like, was that it? You don't know. Like it's a magic trick. Is this your car? Is this what was hindering your sight?

I think. I couldn't see it. It was like, dangling? Yeah, it was like, it was hard to see because the lashes are going up. But also, it was going up,

but it had a different mission than the rest of them it's like yeah me too we're all going yeah we're all here i didn't fall out on my own yeah um i'm still very much attached i i still matter no bitch you don't oh wait i forgot to tell you to make a wish you stole my wish no I didn't make a wish either. Oh. But usually, you know, an eyelash. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's okay. I was just so... Like, I felt like a hero.

You were a hero. You know? Yeah. I felt like... What I feel like... How they feel when they go, Wakanda. Like, I felt... So, like, Aquaman. I tried watching the second Aquaman

the time it was it it's a while I was like oh when did it become it was like a live action cartoon it was really yeah I said what yeah I feel like yeah I don't know I think they're like you know when in doubt let's be wacky. I'm going to give it a second shot. But I then started watching, I was on a plane. I started watching Minority Report. And nobody could have prepared me for the arm choreography that Tom Cruise does. Have you ever seen this movie?

No. The first 10 minutes of the movie, he's like on this computer. But they're also in the future. So he's wearing these gloves and he's just doing like voguing the house down. Like it was wild. And I was like, it blew my mind because I was like, they did so many takes. And he's a consummate professional. So he probably had that choreographed and was doing the same thing.

I couldn't believe it. Wow. And then I couldn't finish the movie because I couldn't get past it. You're like, but why is it so interesting? Oh, here it is. Oh, that's a gif of it. But I'm sure if you look up him on the computer, you can get a video of it. Because it's really wild maybe this is it let's see yep the arms are up yep this is it oh oh oh yeah swipe it yeah get that out of here

and he's just this other guy's just gently using a pinky yes and tom has both hands both hands he's commanding the mainframe of their computer. His gloves have lights on it. Look, and he's like moving when the camera's not on him. He's dedicated. He's giving his all. Dedicated. Oh!

The point and circle! That's so funny. It's great. You know, and I also also i believe no one choreographed this and tom was just doing it i'm sure that i can't imagine anyone told him to do that he was just like this would be the best this this would be great and what kind of computer is it they're like a yeah you know at disney they uh because i used to work at disney i know you don't shut up about it we get it they tell you not to point with one finger you have to use two because i think in some cultures one is not good but also i've never looked up to see what cultures don't like that or what that even means oh interesting judith will you look that up

um i have heard that but i also thought you use two fingers because it's stronger like i need you to go that way i really need you to go that way you need to go that way i'm doubling down you know because like on an airplane they're not like the exits are this they the exits are here oh maybe it's also easier to see like than one finger because it's like is she even pointing or is it where's the exit but if it's two it's like it's definitely it's bolded it's underlined yes yes it's bolded double under yeah line deed Double underline deed. Oh, my God. And that's even more.

Wait, do you fly to Tudor? It's two. I believe it's two. Or is it four? Yeah, I don't know why. It could be four. I think it's two. It's definitely not three.

It might be. Ha! Oh, my God. Yeah, pointing one finger is considered rude. Oh. Because it denotes accusation. Oh. Denotes accusation.

Well, yeah, I'm accusing you of being where you shouldn't be. Leave. Mm-hmm. Get out. Many areas of the Southeast Asia. Oh. Interesting. Well, now I know from when I go to Southeast Asia. Mm-hmm. Well, now I know

from when I go to Southeast Asia. Mm-hmm. Because I'm trying to get there. Like, I'm trying to go there. There. That way, y'all. And they're like, which way? And I'm like...

And they go like this. That way. And they're like, whoa. That way. I want to go... I don't know. Somewhere like tropical and sickening. Sickening, yeah. Yeah. And I want to go, I don't know, somewhere like tropical and sickening. Sickening, yeah.

Yeah, and I want massages and my nails done and I just like want to be pampered. Yeah. I'm glad you like massages because there was a moment where you didn't. Yeah, I didn't want anyone to touch me that I didn't know, but now they can loosen stuff. Although the massage that we got in Africa, I think hurt me. She hurt me. She hurt me a little bit too the table was so hard that i was like oh man there's no refuge there's like i can't escape your fingers into the into the like bed and then i can't escape the bed into your fingers yeah it's all hard and then when I asked her to repeat herself,

she said, no. That was really funny. It's over. Because I said, oh, can you say that again? And she heard, can you do it again? Which is insane. Can you do another 90 minute mashallah? Yeah, just let's do that again.

Please. Pray please. We are done here. Well, all right. right boy oh boy you had a bull at your birthday party a what is that a mechanical booking booking bull a bucking bull you said it it's a mechanical bull yeah i was like why don't you want to accept what i said a bucking bull um i stayed on it longer than i thought i would but i was sore the next day from one ride same i couldn't believe it yeah i was surprised at how tight my inner thighs were yeah

scratch them divas out you got it i also thought the two men operating it were giving people different like sequences and like really making it hard for some people yeah i think they really enjoyed watching me spin around and yell because i spun around a lot more than I saw other people. Oh, that's funny. Just full circles, not even like going back and forth. They're like, oh, this is funny. This is funny. We like this.

Yeah, I would imagine they do gauge how someone's handling the ball. And then if they feel like, oh, we don't want to buck them off too much because it might hurt them or something, they'll figure it out. Or if it's like, they, we don't want to buck them off too much because it might hurt them or something. They'll figure it out. Or if it's like they're hanging on for dear life, let's keep it going. Keep it going.

I want to get, there's a dick somewhere. Yeah. There's a dick, I think in Minnesota. Yeah. Or Montana. And I want to get on that dick.

I want to ride that dick. Fucking dick. Yeah. Just be like, yeah. And I think it would be so fun wait judith can you look up where that dick is maybe i won't go to south east asia dick maybe i'll go to the dick and that's i'll i'll do myself that's your exotic trip yeah maybe i'll do that i am dying to get on

it it's so silly i wonder if you um don't get thrown off if it just like shoots you out and covers you and come and you're like ew it means i won i won i would be so upset if i was in public covered and come yeah you expect me to leave the bar looking like this? You have to give me a different shirt. I don't know if that's it. Oh, Slick Dick's Wild Ride? That's funny. In Austin?

It's a dick arcade? Oh, that looks fun. Wait a minute. Yep, it's a mechanical penis ride. Marvin, who sits in a giant ball pit atop of an inflatable surrounded by sequined walls. Oh.

Well, this is... Wait, one of the attractions is Marvin? Marvin's the dick. Oh, Marvin is the dick. I thought it was some guy sitting in a ball pit. I wish. I see marvin we also have marvin imagine just like a normal random man and like just a red shirt he's just like hey it's me marvin can i get in the ball pit no save a cowboy ride a dick okay adults only i'm into it that looks fun i would like to go to slick dicks slick dicks yeah wow there's got that's not where i thought it was though there's probably i'm

sure there's multiple are you sure is there one in la oh my god is there we live there mechanical penis uh oh a rental you could have rented one oh damn oh what a missed opportunity yeah yeah i think you can only rent them here there's no um brick and mortar that makes sense it's kind of a bummer yeah oh wow but you can rent one i could rent one it's kind of funny that there is mechanical dicks but no mechanical pussies because you would just Yeah. Ugh. Wow. But you can rent one. I could rent one. Mm-hmm. It's kind of funny that there is mechanical dicks, but no mechanical pussies, because you would just sit in it and not be thrown. Maybe you would just, like,

go by things around you. Just like... Or maybe you sit on it, like, not in it, where, like, the clit's there. You, like, sit side... No. like, not in it, or like the clits there. You like sit side, no, like spread like that. And you, I don't. Or maybe it's a trampoline.

Oh, no. That's so. And you're like. Oh my God. Inserting yourself into it. And then at one point the trampoline part slides out and then you get sucked up in it and then you're just in a woman named linda oh what a story and then the bar is called disappearing linda's and people never get found i'm opening it right odd situation. Sure is. The people are in the pies. That's so gross, though. Like,

imagine opening a pie store and like serving people. Disgusting. Like, how does that thought even occur? How does eating people occur to people like i get it if you're starving yeah we're out in the middle of wherever and some won't shut up we're eating her you know but like when food is a plenty why eating people hmm i mean i guess cannibalism has been a thing in society for a really long time. But yeah, back in the day when it's like food's not a plenty and you're like, let's eat the most annoying person in the village. Yeah. Do animals eat their own species sometimes?

I think. I don't know. I've definitely seen a rat eat a rat. You've seen a rat eat a rat? Yeah, it was really gross. It was on a subway track. Kinky bitch. I paid the rat.

Wait, on the subway tracks, you watched a rat eat a rat? Because one rat got ran over. And another rat was like, yum, food. Oh, no. And it ate the other rat. Oh, that's really tough. That's tough to see. Cannibal animals.

Ten creatures that eat their own species. That sounds like a band. Cannibal animals. Chimpanzees. Oh, no. Oh, no. They eat newborns? I i mean that's like veal lions i think i did know that male lions will kill cubs but oh my god oh when they take over

a pride they're like no children of another man will be here i get that you don't want to raise somebody else's children hippopotamus oh whoa whoa whoa infant side they're not known to eat the babies uh instead they've been recording you eating the corpse oh okay you're dead and we're hungry don't waste hamsters oh look at the cute hamster i love hamster hands they're so cute it's like yeah like me me they got caught oh oh oh hello oh me um yeah when food's not readily available crab spiders okay they look nasty yeah they'll offer up what a female crab crabs offering up her own body as a meal not not me couldn't be me Stay hungry y'all. Hmm. Ew a sale Salesian mmm made up kale see him. I don't know that a snake. It looks like a worm of swords

aside from spiders and sexism SBCs. Oh It's a limbless amphibian. Oh, oh get worm of sorts. Aside from spiders and insects is another species. Oh, it's a limbless amphibian. Oh, get out of here. Cane toad, okay, now we're getting into things nobody fucking knows about. It's a cane toad. Oh my God, is that the WB frog with a cane? Maybe.

Hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. Praying mant mantis i think i knew that yeah what's nine oh yeah black widow spiders polar bears not the coca-cola bear oh no whoa oh due to extreme environmental pressures. Oh, my God. We did this to them. That's sad. Wow. We took away their climate and made them the spokesperson for soda that they don't even know about.

And now they be eating each other. Yeah. Now those bottles are just filled with their brother's blood. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. That's very sad. That's so sad. Oh, my God.

What animal would you be if you could be one have i asked you that before probably probably i think when i was younger i would say a cow because they just like oh yes yes i've definitely asked you this before mine changes all the time right now i'm really into otters yeah they just like float on their back and hold hands it's very sweet and like that's kind into otters yeah they just like float on their back and hold hands it's very sweet and like that's kind of what i want to do yeah float on my back with my lover yeah in water and hold hands that's beautiful or like lay on my back and eat ice cream with my lover and hold hands it's like a good life yeah just like being on my back with my lover

like being on my back with my lover my lover my lover yeah seems great lover is such a gross word this is my lover imagine i would ask that person to leave my home so me and my lover were so sheer that was like really upsetting for me. Yeah, it's pretty gross. My lover. Ugh. Also, making love, I think, is a gross way to say it. Yeah. We were making love. Ugh! It's really, it's gross.

Yeah. It just really shouldn't be a verb. No. Or an identifier. Yeah. I also don't like my significant other. I don't like that. Yeah.

It's also too long. Yeah. Like, get to my partner. And I also don't like boyfriend-girlfriend anymore because, like, I'm getting very old. You're not my fucking friend. You suck my pussy. Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, my friends don't suck on my clit that's my partner it's the person i'm dating i thought you were gonna say like we're older and it just feels like a kid thing to be like it's my boyfriend my girlfriend but you're like you suck my pussy my friends don't suck my they don't no your friends aren't doing that no no partners do that spouses do that not boyfriends girlfriends and then how do you say that ungendered but boyfriend girlfriend yeah my non-binary friend i guess you would just say partner but if we're doing the girlfriend boyfriend thing you would say my non-binary partner and then everyone or no my non my non-binary friend and then everyone would be confused because like oh i guess you have a friend cool yeah so we gotta we just gotta eradicate girlfriend and boyfriends. Get it out of here. Yeah. Who do I write a letter to?

Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Dear Joe. Hello. Imagine I did that. Imagine I started sending letters to the White House with personal requests that I'm like, I don't want this in the vocab or the zeitgeist anymore. I mean, chances are one of the things you asked for would probably

happen it's a numbers game you just send enough messages like okay we'll just do one thing so she could stop sending letters here but like do you think they would like put a restraining order on me or whatever like what if i baby reindeer joe biden whoa don't say anything else you could be arrested you are correct that's actually a federal crime that's my um my aunt I saw her like a couple weeks ago and she brought up when we went to Niagara Falls it was me my parents my parents, my sister, I think my aunt, my grandma. And we were driving back over the border from Canada. And I remember sleeping and waking up to a man going, do you have any weapons in the car?

And I woke up and I was like, yeah, we got a bunch of guns in the trunk. And I remember my parents turning around being like, you shut up, you shut up. And I was like, what? Who's just gonna have guns? And then everyone was so mad at me. around being like you shut up you shut up don't and i was like why who's just gonna have guns and then everyone was so mad at me and then later my mother was like people have guns like they can have a gun why would you say that and i was like i don't know i thought it was a stupid question

that got a stupid answer i'm always saying things at the wrong time oh yeah i was also like i'm a kid and my mother's like kids tell the truth and i was like oh but i wasn't she was like oh my god always saying things at the wrong time. Yeah. I was also like, I'm a kid. And my mother was like, kids tell the truth. And I was like, oh, but I wasn't. She was like, oh my God. Yeah, but they also sort of like giving you a heads up, like, hey, we're gonna be stopped. But you were asleep, I guess.

I was dead asleep, but woke up to fuck everyone's day up. We do have guns. We have so many guns. We are the military. Okay, good night. Night, night, night, are the military okay good night well i mean that's like when we went to canada for the first time nobody told me to just say i was visiting so i was like improv and they're like a campaign i was like no then my bag broke and they were like terrorist like something's unwell we don't know what something we can't let her into this country like you're only bringing trouble.

Yeah, nobody prepares me, but now I know. Now I know when I leave the country and go to different ones, I just go, I'm here for fun. Make sure you say it like that. I'm here for fun. I'm going to have such a good fucking time here. I really... Don't let her in. Send her right back home.

Mixed messages here. here she said fun but her face said anger her mouth is so small yeah yum should we do a quiz or something right what time what i have no idea what we're at 25 oh that's an odd amount of time is odd amount of time we could talk about one more thing and then maybe questions yeah yeah um what do you want to talk about um so the crows are getting more bold around my house i know i keep talking about these crows no i like the crow saga they usually stay to the yard and the trees. Now I think they're directly outside of my bedroom. Because they'll, like, I don't know if it's one or many.

We'll just start, like, screaming. Like, rah! In the morning. I'm like, wow, that's really crazy. And then I, like, went to the end of my yard to get something. And then I, like, was walking back to my house. And I saw two crows just chilling outside my bedroom door. Like my bedroom door goes outside, goes to the outside.

And I was like, are they always there? How often are they there? I have no idea how often they're there. And I never see that. I'm like, when did you guys start getting so bold that you're up to my house? Crows see that. I'm like, when did you guys start getting so bold that you're up to my house? Crows do that. I hate to tell you this, but like they have chosen you. You are their friend.

Crows remember. And I think they're trying to protect you. And I think you should start leaving them little gifts. And then they'll start giving you gifts back. And it'll just be like a nice exchange. Because if you are not kind to a crow they are not kind to you yeah and they'll peck at your window and stuff um so i'm so sorry you've been chosen and i really i think they're trying to protect you well i like that i like i like being

chosen and and i like being the chosen one um wow i I feel very special. And I like that they're trying to protect me. That feels cool. Should I leave gifts? Because I also, I don't want them to stay in that area. Should I leave gifts farther away from my home? I think that would be smart. Yeah. So they're like, oh, this is where she would like us to be.

Okay. I think they'll understand that. I hope so. Yeah. I don't know what kind of gifts you give a crow, though. I think I read Peanuts one time. Oh, yeah. Yes. That little thing. I hope so. Yeah. I don't know what kind of gifts you give a crow, though. I think I read Peanuts one time. Oh, yeah. Yes, that little thing of Peanuts out.

Yeah, I give you that. And then just go, crows, this is for you. Yeah. And they'll go, ca-caw. I don't know what a crow sounds like. But I think, yeah. Oh, my God. Am I a crow?

I love Peanuts. Oh, you do love Peanuts. Yeah. Oh, my God. Okay, so I can't remember where i was but i did a job and they had you know crafty or whatever and they had the kirkland brand signature crunchy peanuts and they're like bigger than normal peanuts and i'm like what are they hopped up on a gmo like what are they feeding these peanuts yeah calm down calm down she got too excited

and they're in my house now and i've been crunching on them i eat a little bit at a time because i have a finite amount sure ah i love peanuts yeah maybe i'm a crow do you do you remember everything you know i don't remember anything okay so you're not a you absolutely know that i simply don't remember what I did two minutes ago, which is upsetting sometimes. Yeah. Like sometimes I'll mention something to a friend and then later they'll follow up on it. And I'm like, wow, I can't believe you asked me about, you remembered?

So sometimes in conversations, someone will tell me something and i'll go i'm gonna remember that i'm gonna remember that and then they'll ask me a question about what they last said and i'm like i was remembering the thing two things ago oh no and it's really frustrating um because i feel like that's like nice and caring when like somebody asks you about something that you didn't think that they would remember. Yeah. But I have such a trouble with that.

I have such a trouble with that. I have such a trouble with that. Trouble's afoot. Has anyone ever asked you about something that you said and you were like, I for sure did not say that? Does it feel like, oh yeah, I probably said that or is it like, i absolutely don't even remember that conversation all the time yeah all the time people are blindsiding me with facts that i don't

know i'm like oh okay and it usually happens when people are like when i first met you this was our first interaction i was like me, oh, what? I'm really sorry. Oh, my friend Alana, I had seen her and then I hadn't seen her in a minute and I was like, your hair looks incredible. And she was like, well, I did exactly what you told me to do.

And I was like, I told you to do something with your hair. And she was like, yeah, you told me to stop dyeing it, cut off the part that was uh uh was dyed and it would grow my curl pattern would come back i was like i said that she was like yeah and you like told me what i should do to like get the and i was like me i don't know how to take care of my own hair and i told you how to get your curl pattern back she was like Nicole yes and then oh my god it was

truly it felt like an outer body experience and I wonder if other people have experiences like that like when you told me I was playing a part in a show that I had no idea and you were telling me all the details I thought you were like pranking me and it felt I I felt sick. And I was like, there's no way I'm a part of any of the stuff that she's saying. And it was the same thing when Alana was like, no, here are like words that came out. I was like, oh my, what? It happens all the time. If I was a meaner person or a trickster, I would do that more often and be like, did you know that we have this show coming up

and we're supposed to dress in costume? I beg of you, please, for the love of God, do not do that to me. It wouldn't be nice. Because it gets my heart racing. Oh no. And like, I don't get sweaty, but I'm like, oh my God, what else did I do?

Like, did I murder someone? Like, do you know what I mean? It's like, I'm just telling people I get their curl pattern back. I'm signing up for shows God, what else did I do? Like, did I murder someone? Like, do you know what I mean? It's like, I'm just telling people how to get their curl pattern back. I'm signing up for shows I didn't read about. But it's like, will someone one day come to me and be like, I saw what you did last summer. And I'm like, the movie?

And they're like, no, you in August. Yeah, I, and i just believe things yeah and sometimes in conversation if someone says a joke that's not outlandish enough i'll just take it as like a fact and then they'll have to be like i'm kidding and then i go oh yes then i have then i think it I'm like well how is that a joke to you and now you're judging their humor yeah I'm just like what that wasn't jokey what are you saying that to me for can I tell you something

the Sonic the Hedgehog themed cafe is closing May 31st and I have got to get out there it is so far away it's an hour away but I have got to get out there. It is so far away. It's an hour away. Yeah, but I have got to get out there. I think I'm going to try to make the voyage this weekend. I just got I got to get a hot dog.

I believe they have a sonic mascot there. I got to get a picture. I already have the merch. I pre-bought it. And I'm like, do I wear the merch to the restaurant like but that's like wearing the band's t-shirt to a band do we do that no i think we're wear one of your other sonic shirts i don't think where the is it sonic cafe what is it it's sonic it's sonic the hedgehog cafe right so we don't wear the sonic the hedgehog cafe shirt

to the cafe okay i just don't okay i also like i don't want people to like stare at me and be like oh my god like she's really trying hard to like get the sonic mascot what are you gonna do to get the sonic mascot by wearing like a sonic shirt he'll be like oh you're you know how you going to do to get the Sonic mascot? By wearing like a Sonic shirt. He'll be like, oh, you're. You know how you go to a concert and you're like, if I dress really well, Beyonce will pick me out of the crowd and bring me backstage and be my best friend. Yeah. Because that's what I thought was going to happen when we went and saw Beyonce. Hate to tell everybody it happened. It did not happen.

But like, I don't know. no it did not happen but like i don't know i'm like maybe sonic the hedgehog mascot will be like i'm gonna bring you somewhere special i don't know i would never want a mascot to bring me anywhere because that's a human inside that costume yeah but he has the secrets he has info he works there i don't think he has what secrets because it's not like you can meet sonic that's the closest you're gonna get is the mascot i know and i've met sonic um yeah i guess i don't know what secrets the mascot has actually also you know all the people who absolutely have the secrets to sonic i know i am i know you're not gonna get more at the cafe. But maybe he'll let me put the costume on.

Maybe I can eat a hot dog at Sonic. Maybe he'll let me do that. Maybe that'll be really fun for me. That could be very fun, yeah. Right? Yeah. I am Sonic. that could be very fun yeah right yeah i am and that's when i have my mental break and i never come back from it i'm like i gotta go fast and then are you just greeting customers at that point are you i'm now i've left my life

i now live in chino hills until may 31st at sonic then i have to move to texas because that's where the next pop-up is okay okay i believe katie texas isn't it incredible that i know that but simply don't know another thing yeah you know the sonic cafe tour schedule but i don't know anything else god the way my brain works is just a real dream it makes zero sense no it's funny thank you wow that really put a smile on my face thinking about like putting sonic's head on i I hope this happens for you. I hope so too. But now that I'm thinking of it, it's probably hot and that person's probably sweating.

They absolutely sweat and that's it. So maybe I don't want that. Maybe that's not a good dream. Yeah. When I worked at Disney, I don't know if you know this, I worked at Disney. Really? Yeah. Oh, the theme park?

Yeah, Disney World. Oh, okay. Not Lando? That's land. What? Where's land? That's Land. What? Where's Land? Where's Land? Yeah.

Oh. Yeah, I'm not going to help you. Land is in Anaheim. And I understand why you got confused, but I was like, I'm not doing that. Land is in Anaheim. World is in Orlando. That's so crazy. How come they're not just both Disney World?

What's Disney Tokyo called? Tokyo Disney. And there's Disney Tokyo called? Tokyo Disney. And there's no Landor World there? I don't know, actually. And Paris Disney? Is it Paris Bonjour? It might be Paris Bonjour. Paris Baguette.

Baguette? Yep, just real offensive over here. What I was going to say is when you wear the costume, you don't, you have to clean, they have to clean it before they give it to another person. So it would be, it would not be great for the Sonic mascot to take it off and just hand it to you.

Yeah, that would be nasty. Wait, so you're just in your own funk every day? Do they clean it in between uses? Yeah. Oh, okay. But dry cleaned? I actually have no clue did it smell good yeah no i wonder what they're using i don't know because we've talked about this

before when you get something dry clean you get it back it's still funky yes but i'm like there are they laundering these things yeah i don't they couldn't be because there's some things that can't just be thrown in the wash no so i don't like a big chipmunk head yeah well the heads that you have to spray them on the inside with spray and then i think someone else goes in and like actually disinfects it from the inside um but other than that i don't know i mean if you really think about it um amusement parks are crazy. Like who? Like I understand Disney is the one who like came up with it.

Mr. Walt Disney. But like he was like, we're going to have land and rides. What are rides, Disney? They're these big things that are going to move you to the sky and back. Oh, OK, cool. And food concessions. What do you mean? Carts.

We can move them. And castles. And then we'll have people in costumes, and they'll wander around. And we'll charge people to go to this monstrosity. Like, it's crazy to think about. I don't think Walt thought of all of that by himself. Oh, you think Sesame Street Land came first? Sesame Place? What? No, I don't think that. think oh do you think hershey park came first what's the first amusement park i don't know but i do know amusement parks existed before disney world oh it did i'm pretty sure i don't think disney just came up with amusement parks i'm like because carnival rides exist so i think like rides or existed is a carnival a bastardization

of disney world and disney's idea for a theme park. Wow, you really Walt Disney loyal. Disney's my god. He created everything. Lake Compounce. America's first amusement park.

Got its start as a picnic park in 1846. The carousel made its debut on Memorial day in 1911 that's cool so an amusement park at first was just a place it was a park yeah it was just a public park that charged admission to eat also to picnic to? We don't have furniture here. We have nothing. You better bring a fucking blanket and a basket. And a carousel's crazy. Imagine going to the picnic park where there was nothing but a blanket that you brought. And then there was horses going around in a circle. And some man said, get on.

And you go, what? What's going to happen to me? Oh, you're going to go up and down and all around. All around at the same time? Yeah, up and down and all around all around at the same time yeah up and down in a circle all around like it must have been crazy it must have been crazy oh my god wow i would not want to live back in that time i would be astonished at every turn because like new inventions were happening like years apart do you know what i mean yeah it's like sliced bread and then a carousel.

Like that's crazy. Insane. Now I think we should answer questions and queries let's do that this is an email for your i don't want to i don't want to okay hi nicole and sashir happy belated birthday to sashir by the time you get this email my birthday's also may 6 i'm writing to you about a friend of mine who keeps telling me i'm one of her closest friends but she's forgotten my birthday two years in a row it hurts my feelings a bit because i make a

point to put birthdays in my phone or calendar for people i don't use facebook i've never forgotten hers this past weekend she said she was going to take me out for mani pedis, but I didn't get a single message from her. Should I just let it go or tell her that it hurt my feelings? I don't know how to go about about it without sounding whiny or selfish because I know she has some personal struggles right now. But on the flip side, also seems to be prioritizing her new boyfriend over everyone. What to do? I mean, I think you could say something.

Especially if this is two years in a row. Yeah. I also, as a forgetful person who has forgotten your birthday and realized it a week later and called and had a nervous breakdown, and realized it a week later and called and like had a nervous breakdown. I think it's OK to to understand that person might just be really forgetful and be like, hey, I'd like to celebrate my birthday. My birthday is this day. And can we like lock it in the calendar and then like send her like the night before be like, we have plans for my birthday tomorrow. Cause I think that would be an easy way.

And I know it kind of sucks to be like, oh, I'm reminding them it's my birthday. But if that's important to you and not to them, that is a way to help them I think. Like today you sent me like a nice gentle reminder text. And I was like, yeah, I'm forgetful. I have a history of not doing things that have been asked weeks ago. So I never see it as like, oh, my God.

I'm like, oh, that's a nice, gentle reminder. And if you wanted to do something specific on your birthday and you're like, Nicole, birthday, I would be like, yes. Yeah. Yes. And maybe you could just like, I don't know, make it funny or be like, what if we just put my birthday in your phone? Wouldn't that be crazy? I'm going to do it to you right now.

What if you right now put my birthday in your phone? So every year when it comes around, you'll know. Yeah, and maybe an alert. We'll do an alert. We'll do an alert. I'll just do it for you. But also the mentioning of the boyfriend makes me feel like that. The birthday is the problem that has manifested,

but you're having an issue with her prioritizing somebody else over you. And I think that's the real uh problem yeah that maybe you can have a conversation about yeah definitely um because also and it does suck because the other friend it's not like they forgot completely they did say do you want to get mani pedis i think for the birthday and then forgot that and i think there's room to say that sucks like yeah it's like you did intend on celebrating my birthday and me and then we didn't at all and time passed and you said nothing i would like you to follow up or like i would like you to actually like put the effort into like making those plans if that's what you want to do yeah yeah so give us another one judith hello nicole and sashir um

i hope this isn't too personal slash like parasocial but but I've been thinking quite a bit about Mother's Day. My sort of mother figure in my life passed away about seven years ago now, and Mother's Day is always kind of hard. And so I was listening to some episodes of Best Friends, and you know, Nicole talks sometimes about her mother. and I'm just curious with Mother's Day coming up if Nicole you have any ways you celebrate your mom on Mother's Day even though she's not around um if there's any like happy stories about your mom that you'd be willing to share with the pod uh and yeah any other ways that you like to kind of memorialize and celebrate our moms who are no longer around to celebrate with us. You know, this time of year is always a little rough, but I think it's helpful to talk about the happier times that we remember, or even, like, the times where we got in silly fights or or like, you know, these kinds of things.

So sending Nicole lots of love and appreciation. Thank you for sharing your stories that you've shared so far. It makes me happy. And yeah, have a great rest of your day. Do you want to answer that? Yeah, my mom's dead. I stay inside on Mother's Day because I don't like it. Because wherever you go, people go, happy Mother's Day.

And I'm like, I'm not a mother and I don't have one because she went on a trip, never came back. But like, do you want to check out? Should I ring you up? Do you want to leave this CVS? And I'm like, no you want to check out? Should I ring you up? Do you want to leave this CBS? And I'm like, no, I want my mother. So I, yeah, I simply kind of just like stay in. Maybe I'll post on Instagram and be like, look how pretty she was.

Just because, you know, the internet needs to know how beautiful she was. But a thing that I started doing with a couple friends is I will ask them if they want to tell me a story about their parent who has passed away in exchange for a story about my parent who has passed away. It's a barter system. It is a barter system. But it is like really nice to hear stories from your friends whose parents have passed um so that's the way i honor her i don't necessarily do it on mother's day but um i had a friend whose dad is going through some health issues and i was like can you tell me a story about him uh when he wasn't going through health issues and she did and then she's like can

i hear a story about your mom and i was like yes i told her i think a story about how i stole donuts i don't know um but yeah like i have some so many fun fond memories of my mom and my daddy because he joined her on the trip later um but yeah i just you know talking about them i think is a is a nice way to keep their spirit alive and i don't think you should be pressured into celebrating mother's day or father's day unless that is what you want to do like if you want to be in these streets celebrating go ahead but not i i stay inside yeah i think we also forget that mother's day is a made-up holiday by hallmark it's just to like sell. No, it's the stars aligned and it said mother. Mother. No, you're absolutely right.

It's not real. You actually don't have to sell it. You sure don't. You can stay inside like I do. Yeah. Yeah. Solved. Okay.

Hi, Nicole and Sashir. Am I the a a-hole I dated a guy back in 2016 but he then got into the army and moved for training I tried the whole long distance and waiting for him but I just couldn't do it we broke things off and since then we've been on and off I say that because we keep we I say that because we would keep in contact with social media and when he came home we would meet up and hook up just to not talk or hear from each other for months this went on until 2022 I did everything from deleting messages voicemails off all social media took to even blocking him at times all just to unblock him and start talking again. I last saw him in 2021, but have been dating, but have been dating and in a relationship with my now boyfriend since 2022. My ex recently

contacted me saying he's coming home for a couple of days and wanted to meet up. I told him no, because I'm dating someone. His response was that he respects that. And he just wanted to catch up because at the end of the day, I was a good friend. I didn't meet up with him due to due to respect to my boyfriend. And like I said, every time he would come home, we would meet up due to having feelings for each other. We would hook up. But now I feel like an a-hole for not being a friend. Am I in the wrong? Am I the a-hole?

Can you be friends with an ex? Thank you. Love all you in the pod. No, I think that was a very strong boundary that you set and very respectful to your relationship and sounds like your friend slash ex also respects your decision so i honestly don't see anything wrong with this yeah no notes um i think i it feels like you put up the boundary because you're like i'm going to hook up with this yeah no notes um i think it feels like you put up the boundary because you're like i'm going to hook up with this person and i think if that's not a thing you wanted to do while being in a relationship then don't put that temptation in front of you yeah um and i do think you could

be friends with your ex i don't think you need to see each other in person to continue a friendship but if contacting this person like slide you back into it you gotta let it go till it's not a thing anymore yeah also it doesn't really sound like you guys are friends no if you weren't speaking in between the times you were hooking up sounds like you were just i'm gonna call for each other yeah i think so i think you made the right decision I need to go bad about it yeah so oh hello this question is for such ear team Pacey her team tossin and why absolutely team Pacey Oh Casey is played by Joshua Jackson the comedic relief for most of the show oh very funny very charming also morally the best character doesn't he fuck a teacher in the first episode okay that was actually morally inept for

sure but he was the victim he was a kid but other than that you're right you are right that 32 year old was playing a 17 year old and he was a child. I think they were actually like 16. Oh, really? Yeah. They were like, wow, it's wild. The 90s did a number on people. Everyone looked old as hell. They look old as hell.

All of them lumbering around the school. I said these people are old. Well, I don't know, like how many years pass between each season because they look like babies in the first season. And they do look 27 in the last season. And it's really funny because, like, in the last season, there's an episode where they are adults. And they didn't change a damn thing. They didn't, like, change their hair. That's funny.

They, like, maybe put glasses on Katie Holmes. Yes. Because they look like adults. Uh-huh. And yeah, team Pacey all the way. Dawson was my least favorite character. But it was his Creek. I know.

But I really did not enjoy him. And I feel like the show didn't enjoy him after a while either. Because then it became like Joey's Creek. It was like, it turned into Joey's show completely. And I was like, is Dawson even here anymore? Then I read some backstory. Got to do the research. Got to do the research.

And I guess Joshua Jackson and James Van Der Beek really didn't like each other at the beginning of the show. Oh. Because they both dated Katie Holmes at different times. Oh, wow. So there was like some love triangle jealousy happening in real life. I love it. And that's why it was so palatable.

Palatable. So you could tell. I'd be like, why don't Dawson and Pacey hang out anymore? They would like truly cross in, say a thing, and then keep leaving. Whoa. That's so wild to me. I can't imagine ever being the kind of actor who's like, I won't do scenes with the person. I'm like, I'm number one, they're number two, and I'm not doing scenes with them.

I know. That's wild. Yeah. You see like stories of people who like can't be on set with the same person and they have to like read to a- Like act to a tennis ball. Yeah. And then they do their coverage while they're away.

I can't imagine. Wild to me. Because you're acting. Yes. Act like you like them. Just for a second. It's not that long. Because I've worked with people who are,

how you say, demons. And I just kind of blink and go, well, all right, you did and said that and let's just get this done. Yeah. Unless they're like trying to fuck with the person during their coverage yeah that that i would be like i do not co-sign this uh tomfoolery shit there's i was trying to quote tommy lee jones because he said

this about jim carrey when they were shooting batman and it makes me laugh so hard do you mind looking it up it is i think it's like i do not i think i condone your buffoonery buffoonery i believe is what it is i do not condone your buffoonery during my coverage and that's what i would announce to the set um but i'm team pace. Having never seen the show, I just simply think his haircut will grow out better than Dawson's. Oh, and they have some wild hair choices throughout the whole show. And I'm like, did they just have a bad hair team the whole time? Or like...

It was the 90s. I mean, yes. 90s was the Wild Wild West for things. But then there's a haircut that Michelle Williams has towards the end of the show that is really bad. And I was like, is she trying to get less screen time? It felt like she was like, I hate this show. Oh, my God. So I'm going to cut my own bangs.

It was like a splay. It was like straw. She looked like the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz. That's so funny i mean that's a great picture but there's one you had to type in like bad bad haircut did she have long hair ever um i think it was all this to her shoulder oh that is a that is curious it is just stick wow it looked what it looks like someone you know that meme where there's like a an orange that someone cut into a helmet and put on a cat that's what that looks like yeah or like a lego like a lego yeah piece that you just put yes it is choppy at the bottom and then truly

she has a forehead to the heavens because i couldn't tell you where a hairline starts it feels just because the bangs are so tiny so it's confusing this is like an optical illusion she looks like a cone head that or Or like her cone isn't fully formed. This is wild. It's pretty wild. And if Michelle Williams hears this, I think you're beautiful. I think you're very talented.

Despite the haircut. This is just a really wild look for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It really was. It's questionable. I know we're wrapping it up, but we didn't talk about the Met Gala at all and we shouldn't we gotta go

we have to and I didn't even see anything from it are you leaving right now? we have to at least wrap up the show put your purse down you didn't look at anything? You don't have an opinion on Kim Kardashian's look?

I don't know what it was. It was so good. Okay. I just, there were so many great looks. Oh, yeah. You didn't see Zendaya I did see Zendaya two looks archived looks

you didn't see Kendall Jenner I believe she was in not at all Givenchy archived and she was the first person to wear oh wow I Yes, these are cool Okay, so um I'm looking for a new host a

New co-host and if you think you got what it takes you can email it Nicole and sashir temporary at gmail.com Temporary I'm saying temporary temporary it's not part of the email address but uh we will be changing it to nicole and whoever the new host is oh my god who wants to talk about the met gala with me and also we have a phone number if you would like to talk about the met gala with me 424-645-7003 we also have merch that has my face on it because i'm a permanent host on this show at podswag.com slash best friend. I mean, if you want to read about this egregious thing that just happened, we have transcripts of our new episodes. You can check them out on our show page at yourwolf.com.

Lastly, don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. And in the review, you can talk about how much you love having me as a host on this show and that the show would be totally different and also that maybe you don't even care about the met gallon we don't need to hear about it it's the easiest way to support this show if you care about fashion if you care about the cultural zeitgeist if you care about the the this this fundraiser for the arts is what it is fundamentally raising awareness for the arts is what it is, fundamentally. Raising awareness for the arts. You can talk about it when you rate, review, and subscribe.

You tell me who you like. Because apparently I can't talk about it with anybody. It is mostly because we have to go. Listen. Next time you tune in, I'll be best friends with Nicole and Linda Linda? yeah

hopefully a woman named Linda just some is that the lady who traps people with her her pussy contractions

and puts them in meat pies we're gonna record right from her pussy great well this friendship is done see you

next week see you ever we were crude Friendship is done. See you next week. See you ever. We recruit.