Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer's Not A Wrapologist

Episode Date: October 21, 2026

Nicole and Sasheer wonder about making wraps at home, if they'd notice an alien pretending to be human, and remember how insane reality TV used to be back in the day.Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Let's talk about that thing you keep saying you'll do, the new career, the next step, the dream you keep putting off because life is busy and change feels hard. But what if it didn't have to be? Chamberlain University has been preparing healthcare professionals for over 135 years. As the nation's largest nursing school, Chamberlain offers flexible programs built around your life. faculty who genuinely care and a community ready to lift you up. Maybe today is the day, maybe your someday starts now, because here's what Chamberlain wants you to know. You've got this

and we've got you. Learn more at chamberlain.edu. Chamberlain University belong to something greater certified to operate by Shev. Sashir. Nicole. This color reminds me of the color you were wearing when we first met. I've told the story so many times you're wearing teal and goldenrod. Yeah, I'm wearing goldenrod. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. It is such a, like, you look like sunshine. I love that. Thank you. I've been told I have a red undertone, and so, like, warm colors look really good on me, like yellow, orange, and red. Mm-hmm. I don't know what my undertone.

are but jewel tones oh they be looking good but I also love neones yeah those look good on you too I just love color as I sit here in black and white I love color

you do look like Wednesday items right now thank you yeah does she have her hair in her face no she has pig tails yeah there you go Wednesday hey hello I've never

I've never seen Beetlejuice. Oh. One or two. Okay. Or three? Is there only two? Just two. I've only, I've never seen either of them.

I've never seen Wednesday. I don't know about that world. I have seen all of those things, and I guess I do know about that world. Have you seen the Beetlejuice musical? No, that I haven't seen. But we know who wrote that. Yes, we do. Anthony King.

Yeah. Good old Anthony King. Such a funny man. Yeah. He also wrote Gutenberg the musical. Yes. I would love to write a musical. Do it.

Okay. I guess I could. You started right now? Oh, you just grabbed her lip gloss? Well, I saw that I had it out and I was like, oh, I think I was supposed to reapply before we started. And I didn't. And here she is. Oh, yeah.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Mm. Yeah. Mm. Is it better? So much. Thank you. What have you been up to?

What have you been up to? have I been up to kind of just doing stuff in my house always today I woke up really active and I like gathered all the stuff that I wanted to donate

it's sitting in my trunk I'm going to take it to Goodwill after this and then I packed up some white sneakers that are dirty and I haven't been wearing them because they look dirty and then I found a cleaners

that like also clean shoes. So I'm hoping that I can be like, make these white again and they'll do that. So we'll see. Okay. And I did some laundry and I hung it outside before I left and then when I go home, I'm going to put it back inside. Wow.

Susie Homemaker. I just be a little homemaker over here. Wow. I clean my cat's litter box. Okay. You really are doing it. I was doing a lot today. How often you've got to clean that like every day, right? Every week. I mean, you clean the the poop and pee out of the box every day. But you have to like throw away the litter and clean the actual box every week. I did not know that. I didn't either until I had a cat. I had cats living with me. You remember that, right? I do remember that, yeah. That short stint.

I did not know that you had to. That's probably why these cats were so hard. mad. Probably. I didn't know I had to fully empty the litter box. I also learned that I had to like clean it every day. It's a lot. Yeah. How is Sesame? She's so great. Sesame is I like Sesame. I'm so glad. And I'm not a

huge cat person. Yeah. But I like that Sesame is interested in me but not too interested in me. That's pretty much how she is about, well not everybody. Some people she does not like. She's like too aggressive. Get away from me. She's like if you're chill,

I'll suss you out and then you'll like sit next to you or sit near you and watch what you're doing. I'm into that because I am very allergic to cats. But if the home is dusted well, I'm okay. Yeah. But I think I've said it on this podcast. If I have an open cut near a cat, it really, it like welds up. It's wild. Yeah.

Thankfully I'm not. I have so many cuts. I'm pretty sure this is from sesame. It's like scabbing up right now. But she scratches me a lot and bites me. But I think we're just playing. I think it means she loves me. She loves me so much.

There's a video where it's like this person's like, yeah, you can't sit there. That's where the cat sits. Also, my cat does this really incredible thing. When I open the refrigerator and I'm deciding what to eat, she uses my legs as a ladder and impales me. And then she eats what I want. It's very funny because people with. animals that are seen traditionally as bad. They love them.

Like people with dogs are like, oh yeah, you can't look at him. He will bite you. You need to lay completely flat on the floor if you're going to say hello. Yes. There is a dog in my life very, very regal, very, very handsome, will bite you at a moment's notice. Like, everyone will be having a nice time. The dog will be next to you. But if you touch it, it will.

bite you. And he has these big, innocent, wistful eyes. And he'll look at me and I'm like, you want me to pet you so you can bite me. And I have to just keep like saying internally, that's not friendly. He's not friendly. He will bite you. And I just think it's really funny when they're like, oh yes, only we can touch this dog. He will rip your face off. Well, it's funny that we like Choose to have these wild animals in our house Yes, and then we change our lives Yes

Like do I like going out at night to walk my dog? No, am I taking night walks just will eat? No, there's coyotes out there But he's got to take a shit I pick up his shit Yeah I don't pick up my shit, I flush it It's pretty rude

It is so rude Yeah But I love having him And he's so stinky Clyde is so, Clyde stinks. And that's just life. Yeah. Until they take the rest of his teeth and then he's going to have to eat mush.

His teeth are rotting out of his head and nothing I do helps him. I brushed his teeth yesterday and somehow it amplified the smell. It was just us in the car and he was getting excited and was breathing heavy and I was like, you got to be happy back there. This is tough. This is tough for me. Gotta be happy back there. And then he wants to lick you and then.

Yeah. It's tough. But I love him so much. But he, how many teeth does he need to have to be able to still chew his food? I don't know. Yeah. But we're getting to the point where he's probably going to have to start eating mush. Yeah.

But he loves his mush. Great. I grind up his dog food and I mix it with hot water and it's hot slop. Oh, man. Sounds disgusting. It sounds so nasty. It does not look fun. But sometimes I'll put a dollop of people.

peanut butter in it and it makes it look worse and he's even he's so happy so happy with his hot slot peanut butter. Sesame sometimes doesn't clean her butthole as well as she should, which is really unfortunate that the way it gets cleaned is her tongue. Like that sucks. But there'll be like little remnants of her going to the bathroom. and she was scooting her butt on the bedspread. And I was like, oh, that's gross.

And then after like a few days, the bedspread smelled like poop. Because it was her toilet paper pretty much. Oh, no. So I to wash the bedspread. And now I have this glove that has like little like combs on it so I can like brush the hair off of her. what she doesn't like because she's a street cat. And so she's like, what are you touching me with? What is this?

What is this? I'm used to the streets. I rubbed my butt on buildings. This is just a nicer building. Pretty much. So I'll put that on and just hold her down because she's going to bite and scratch me. So I'm like, well, do that to the glove, not my hand. And then I'll get a wipe and then wipe her butt.

And it's pretty rude. She's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I get it, sister. This sucks. I would hate if someone just held me down and put this wet thing on my butt. This cold wet wipe on your ass. It's like, oh, why? It is really funny.

It's like, you choose to do that. You're choosing this life. Clyde sometimes will boot scoot so violently. Like, he like plants this. The first time it happened, I was like, what are you doing? but he like playing his little front paws, stared at me, and then dragged his butt across the rug. And I was like, oh, no.

And then I like, then I clean the rug because I was like, I don't know what was there. Yeah. Yeah. Animals, man. I told you I had a cockroach problem outside my house. I think fingies cross, knock on wood. I think I got rid of.

them. Amazing. So I think they were coming from my next door neighbor's home. But I had a Fourth of July party where there was like, the trash was too much to put in just the can so it was on the ground. And I hadn't put them in contractor bags. So it was in like regular garbage bags. And I think the animals were getting into it and pulling things out. And I think the cockroaches were like, food. So I washed my. bins. I took dish soap and water and I scrubbed the bins and then I scrubbed the ground. Wow. And they have not been back. Amazing. That's really smart. Thank you. I was like, it's because I'm scared of them and my body, I keep telling you, I have aches and pains.

But when I see them, my body tenses up and I start screaming and then hi stepping. I was like, this isn't good for my I have to figure out how to get rid of them. But he's not prepared for high stepping. No, no. Like, ah! So I also sprayed peppermint oil. Like I want to, they, hopefully they don't come back.

Yeah. They were big as fuck. They're so big and nasty. Yuck. I don't like them. I don't like them at all. Like, okay. If we believe in God and God created everything,

why do he create cockroaches? Do you think God was like, I think they're pretty? Maybe. Maybe at one point they were pretty. But they also, like, I don't think they serve a purpose, right? Just to terrorize me? Yeah, just to scare us.

But it's not like they, like, eat, like, a certain, like, invasive plant we don't need. I honestly don't think so. They just, like, eat gross garbage and never die. Yeah. Speaking of invasive species, I'm switching to plants. Nice. I wish stores told you what was an invasive plant. Because I planted a bunch of, I think they're called Lantanas in planter boxes.

Sorry. I started thinking of Santana. And then I started doing the, I think it's the Rob Thomas' Santana's song. Give me a heartbeat and real. Let's forget about it. I think Santana has a lot of Grammy's for. from that song. Probably. That was a hit. It was a good song. Rob Thomas, Matchbox 20. That's right. We got all our facts. On this year day, we got all our facts. But yeah,

I wish they told, they would tell me what was invasive and what's not, because the lanterns have spread. And I was like, well, no, I wanted them in one box. Yeah. Yeah, I have this plant that my gardener put in the yard, and it's like, I can't remember what it was called, but it's like, like green circles that look like they were dusted with powder like this like little white like kind of white green something I don't say it has a were like winter in it or like okay something um and it grows like crazy it was growing over other plants and suffocating them it was like taking over and so we had to like like cut a lot of it back and I still have a tiny bush but I'm like I don't trust you you're not going to be hair.

You're going to get big again. Yeah. You do have to prune things that, like, grow super fast. I think I have coalesces. It's, like, a pretty plant. There's no flower on it because the flower turns into the leaf. And I really like them. And I have one that's, like, a strawberry variety of it, and they're so pretty.

And I try to find other strawberry versions, but I found a version that's like the strawberry, but I don't like how it grows. and it's incredibly invasive and it grows super fast and I think I'm going to have to get rid of it. Yeah. Damn. Plants, man. Plants, man.

My farm was unattended for a couple of days. I lost some. Oh, no. Just days? Well, I was away. And the nice man said he watered them, but I don't know how often he's watering them. And I refuse to badger him every day to be like,

This is my thing. And now I'm away and I want you to do my thing that you don't quite enjoy. So I wasn't like on him about the farm. And then we were both away and then nobody watered the farm. I forgot to ask somebody to water the farm. I got back. The strawberries were not strawberrying. My watermelon was doing really great.

She's now on the last leg. I think my cucumbers might be dead and one of my tomatoes. really just passed. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm dealing with a loss at the farm. I'm so sorry. Thank you.

You're a frigging drought over there. It is a drought. When I broke my ankle, I went through so many emotions, so I couldn't go up and down the stairs, and my bedroom is upstairs. And the first day I, like, dragged myself up this, or no, yeah, it was like a week I'd spent downstairs.

And I was like, I just want to shower amongst my things. So I dragged myself backwards up the stairs like that. And then I pulled myself on the toilet and I pulled myself up the window. And I said, farm, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And John heard me and was like, I'll just water. And I was like, oh, okay. You're like, please wait for me.

He's like, I could just do it. And I was like, oh, cool. Me. Thank you. Sometimes I'm so dramatic for no reason. It's very funny. Have you heard of those things that are like, it's like a globe or a sphere of water? Good job.

Round circle. Yeah, yeah. 360. Yeah, globe. Sphere. It's glass. And it has like a little like point and you just like stick in the soil and it like slowly drips water. Oh.

I don't know how those work at all. Me either, but I will look into that for when I'm away. Yeah. Because I love my ritual of when I wake up on time, which means two hours earlier than I need to be somewhere. And I talk to the plants. I water the plants. I pick out an outfit. But that doesn't happen often.

Like today, I was like, ah! And I went, I'll get to you later. Sometimes I scream at them. So when I get back home, I'll water them. Nice. At least they know. Yes. I like to tell them what's going on.

I think that's smart. But yeah, I have some, I made some planting choices that I was like, I think I made a mistake. Yeah. So I got to replant, like uproot. And then the thing about uprooting, you don't know if you got all the roots. This is true. And then sometimes they break through. And you go, I thought I got rid of you.

But they're still there? And they're like, not so fast, bitch. I can't be killed. I'm like, oh, my God. I can't be tamed. My life's at her. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. I have some wisteria that I love. But it like, it'll shoot its little seeds all over the place. And then I'll find like little sprouts. And I'm like, no, no, no. I don't want you to grow there. I need you to be in this pot.

Because they grow into trees. And I don't want them. I don't want many trees in that area. So I'm like, if I see them, I'm just like, no, no, no. Just start picking them out. That's really funny to walk around. on your yard going, no, no, no. Can I ask?

I forgot to ask you yesterday, because we got on a FaceTime with Mateo. What were you doing outside? Parking my car. Oh, I didn't realize you had just gotten home. Yeah, I just parked, and I saw that you guys were FaceTime. I was like, I got to open this. And so I was just like walking and listening to you guys. I meant to be like, what are you doing?

I think I also like, I noticed my cellar door was open, so I was like, How long has it been open? So I went in there to make sure no one else was, made no one else, I mean critters, were in there, and then closed it and locked it up and then inside. I'd be doing things. You be doing things. I'm a little busy, buddy.

Let's take a break. Take a break. If you think you might be struggling with OCD, but you aren't sure what the next steps are to take, no CD makes treatment more accessible, affordable, and convenient for you. OCD can manifest in a lot of ways by attaching itself to different fears or doubts. If you've ever felt overcome with a sudden fear of, what if I left my stove on or what

if I'm actually a bad person or what if I get sick from touching this door handle? You will know the feeling I'm talking about. For a lot of people, it's not just anxiety. It's OCD. And most of them have no idea. There's a lot more to OCD than the organizing stereotype. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted, intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental or physical behaviors that you feel driven to do to get relief,

even when it never actually comes. These thoughts can feel very real, which is what makes them so upsetting. OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. It needs ERP exposure and response prevention therapy, proven to be the most effective treatment. NoCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. Licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy in live face-to-face virtual sessions with support in-between sessions so you're never facing OCD alone. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NoCD can help.

Book a free 15-minute call to get started at nocd.com. Oh, one of my favorite trips I've ever taken with my best friend was to Joshua Tree, which is a couple hours outside of L.A. We were all excited to disconnect from our phones, the internet, the hustle, the bustle of the city, and enjoy the scenery and so much needed quality time. Yeah, I knew that we were going to be saying in a beautiful place, but I didn't expect how relaxed is going to be and like how present I felt there. There were so many trails nearby for us to explore, but my favorite part of the trip was hanging out with everybody at home. and the home that we found on Airbnb. There was plenty of space for us to hang out with each other and also do our own things if we needed to.

And I was obsessed with these beautiful outdoor bathtubs that were side by side where you can take a bath and watch the sunset. It may wish that was something I could do all the time. I know what you mean. One of the days we spent exploring a cactus growth, which is something I'd never seen before and I would love to do it again. There was this like elevated wooden walkway that guided us. along a looped path and I saw more cacti than I've ever seen in my dang life. It was really cool

to have such a special place accessible to us. Yeah, I didn't know Joshua Tree was known for its exceptional stargazing before I experienced it myself. Living in a big city, it's easy to become used to not being able to see the night sky like that. But Joshua Tree is known for having one of the darkest night skies in Southern California. It was mind-blowing to experience this. And it felt like we could see the whole Milky Way for the first time. It was special to have that experience together. We made wishes on a couple shooting stars. But it's possible that one or two of those were a meteor.

Yeah, we don't know anything about the sky or planets. We also chat it with other people who were also exploring the night desert and got great recommendations on local shops to peruse. It was such a great experience feeling connected to the community and nature in such a sense. sincere way. It's something I look forward to doing soon. We stayed at home that we found on Airbnb and having our own space in a neighborhood of mom and pop shops and restaurants was a big part of why the trip was such a special one. And we're back. I really, I need to gather things to take to Goodwill. I have, because I love buying, I have my Goodwill pile, which is stuff that I don't think is worth trying to sell.

Yeah. And then I have a big, big thing of vintage stuff that's in great condition that I'm like, I think I because I love Squaresville in Los Feles. I love bearded Beagle. Have you been there? I don't think so. They have one in Los Phelis

and they have one in Highland Park. That's their bigger one. And then there's Hey Baby Vintage in Burbank. Those are like my three main ones that I really love going to. And then Jetrag. Oh, yeah. Jetrack doesn't buy. Okay.

I don't know where they source from. Oh, either. Yeah. Let me know JetRack. But I have my bag that I'm like trying to, I'm like, I think I'm going to try to sell. Yeah. Because a lot of those stories don't carry plus sizes. And they should.

They should. Yeah. You should carry your stuff. They should carry my stuff. Carry your stuff. Carry my stuff. And then I've gone through a T-shirt evolution. Ooh.

I you were with me at that fabulous thrift store in or vintage store Ripple Broad Ripple Broad Ripple Vintage I think In Indianapolis

If you're there Go the lady who is there I don't know if it's her store Yeah But she was incredible I loved her There was so much fun stuff And she has a lot of plus size stuff

Yeah I have never Not never But I would say Nine times out of 10 Pants are really hard for me but I found a really fun pair of shorts. But I also found a new fun brand called.

I think it's just called Rood Dog. Rude Dog? Yeah, it's a dog and it just says, rude dog. And then I found another shirt when I was in Dallas. East Dallas vintage is great. Go there. I found another rude dog shirt and I was like, oh, I think I like silly dog shirts. And then I found this big dog shirt that I like.

I wore that to dinner the other night. And then I found the nice man of a big dog button up. Oh, fine. And then I have a big dog button up. And I'm like, we're going to be the big dog couple. Whether you like it or not. That's the big dog family. And we should wear them while we have our little dog.

Yeah, that's fun. That's fun. Do you and your partner dress up like in matching things? Sometimes. And I'm the only one who wants that. I'm the only one who wants that. wants it to. I'll suggest it. I'll say these things go together and she's like, okay. But when we do it, okay. Okay. She was really averse to it in the beginning of our relationship and I think now

she's conceded and will let me have it sometimes. Last Halloween, we dressed up as Tia and Tamara from Sister's Sister and I don't think I've been happier. I was like so, so. And I was like, so. happy and people would be like, wait a minute, are you guys sister, sister? I'd be like, yes. And then I would like pose behind her like, sister, sister. That's really funny. Did she realize you were posing behind her? Oh yeah, she's posing too. Oh, okay. I thought she was like, yes, we're sister, sisters. You're like, g-g-g-g-d-de-d-d-de-be. No, she liked it. God, that's very, very funny. We haven't done, we haven't gone to like a Halloween party together. No. So we haven't, I've never done a couple's cost.

tomb. This year you can. Yeah. Yeah. I want to be Bert and Ernie. That's fun. That's really fun. You have playing striped shirt.

Sure do. Or I could be Chucky and he could be a child. That's true also. Although, do you remember when we saw the nightmare before Christmas and someone had their child dressed up as Chucky? It was really upsetting. It was terrifying. I did not like that.

Actual children just say of as Chuckie is not cool. No. Don't do that. Leave that shit at home. I feel at home Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. Yeah. Oh my God, I was watching a scary documentary last night.

It is called the, I think it's called the pastor's wife. I saw that. It was scary. I'm not at the end of it, but like, it is chilling. Yeah. It's really, like, I mean, yeah. I guess. It keep, these documentaries keep showing how inept the police are.

when women are being stalked by their husbands, being abused by their husbands, like they brought tracking devices that this man put on her car to the police and they were like, we can't do anything because that's your husband? And I was like, what do you mean? Yeah.

She says they're separated. But then he, I cannot fathom having that much time to be so calculated. Like he made a paper trail of her mental health. so he could be like she like so he had alibis of like her being sick and stuff like it's also really like

I guess convenient for him that he was a pastor because he could control the narrative so he's on stage in front of a congregation being like pray for my wife y'all she's not doing well she's like going through some mental stuff or like she's like leading a life that we know is not Christ like but I'm going to stay strong meanwhile he's harassing her

and stalking her. And calling her and showing up to places. God. It's scary. Nasty. And he's free. And he's still preaching. Is that true?

I believe so. I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true. Allie, do you mind? Yeah. Again, I'm not at the end, but I did do some Googling. Oh, okay.

And then also, there are so many clips of him being a huge red flag. Yeah. Where he's like, submit to your husband, serve your husbands. if you say no to sex they're going to wander away and I was like in church yeah I can't look at that no one in the congregation was like wait a minute I don't know about that

it looks like he is but in a smaller capacity yes in like a strip mall and there's been like protesters and stuff good because he married a woman oh that's right like a month after she passed away because he was like having an affair with her yeah yeah but I will say she was like of a better age she was like she was older

Okay At least he wasn't praying on a young one That's I guess Praying on an old one You know At least there's that Sure

But yeah As I was I was horrified watching I was like this is fucked up Like the Gabby lady Who went camping with her Her boyfriend Who yeah

Yeah And then the cops were They were like We gotta take her away from him I was like Take them both away It's nuts. I don't like it.

It's sad. Well, I really brought the mood down. You sure did. Sorry about that. That's okay. Have you watched anything uplifting recently? Oh, I was telling you about Resident Alien. Oh, yes.

I do think you like it because this is not a spoiler because it's the premise of the show, but there's an alien that has to pretend to be human. And he makes a lot of funny sounds and a lot of funny movements. stuff and I think you'd like that. You know I would love that. I love a funny sound. I love a funny movement. Yeah. There's like moments where like and it's funny because like the first few episodes feel like there's two different shows happening because there's like like the people in the town are talking very normally and then you'll see the alien man just in the back like just like standing really weird. But no one notices at all. They're like, this guy's weird. And that's it. Well, if you

think about it in life, people do enough weird things that you're just like, okay. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah, I don't think I would notice an alien amongst us. Yeah, I guess I would be like, that guy's weird. Yeah. But it was funny because it's like, everyone's just allowing this to happen. I mean, if you think about it, we allow a lot of weird shit to happen. You ever been in a bar and been like, whoa, that person's acting up and then continue your conversation. Yeah. Whoa, you're being crazy. Mm, okay. I know I've told this story. I watched a bouncer get stabbed and then a woman get tased. I didn't leave the club. I said, we better get back in and start dancing.

Parties happen. Yeah. There's a stud who was like screaming at the bouncer for looking at her girl. And then he was like, I wasn't looking at your girl. And then she jumped on his back and stabbed him with something. Oh, my God. When the police came, they tased her. And I was smoking a cigarette, and I watched the whole thing unfold.

And I just went right back inside. Were you like, well, the danger's on the outside? Yeah. Probably good inside. Well, I don't think any thoughts were going. I think I was like, pretty drunk. I got to get back inside. I think they're playing Katie Perry and I want to dance.

I kissed a girl and I liked it. I mean, also, like, what are you going to do? The police are on it, apparently. They're on it. And then it took so long to take her away. She was like in a zip tie, like behind her back for a while. Good Lord. And the bouncer was just like, ah!

What was the girlfriend doing? I simply couldn't remember. I mean, she was like, stop. Baby, stop. Don't do it. Don't do it. Stop it. Don't be stabbing.

If you were with a partner who, like, fought, would you say something? How would you react? If someone was like, you're looking at my girl? Like getting aggressive all the time. You know I'd be like, where are you looking at me? Baby, get on. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. That's so pretty. I mean, I guess the first time I'd be like, wow. Second time I'd be like, you, what? Stop. People are going to look. I'm hot. Stop.

Get used to it. Get on board. Yeah, I don't think I could. I don't think I could do that long term. Yeah, me neither. But I am the more aggressive partner. That's true. Yeah.

But not all the time. Just unreasonably. Only when it doesn't matter. When you least expect it, I'll be very aggressive about something. That's just me. Yeah, I think, honestly, I don't know if I'd even like it one time. I'd be like, this is stressing me out. Please stop.

Yeah, I don't want to like break up a fight. You don't have to defend my honor. I can do that myself if I choose to. But usually if my honor needs to be defended, I'll sit somewhere and go, oh, no. This is true. Which is so weird. I don't know why I do that.

I don't either. What is it? Flight, fright. Freeze. Flight, fight, fight, freeze. Yeah, I freeze a lot. Yeah. I fly.

Oh, yeah, you'll leave. I'll leave fully. I'll just leave a situation. You'll go goodbye. Don't want to be part of this. I don't like this one bit. I have a hankering for a sandwich. Oh.

Or no, I'm so sorry. A wrap. I want a big... Thank you for apologizing. Well, I didn't want you to get sandwich in your head. I want a wrap. Now wraps in my head. I want like a big nasty diner wrap.

In Jersey at the diners, you would get these huge wraps that you could save half for later. Or if you're like getting in, get in. Yeah. But I want lettuce, tomato, grilled chicken, bacon, and ranch. That sounds delicious. Yes. And I cannot find a big nasty wrap in L.A. Have you ever made a wrap at your house?

I wouldn't know how to wrap it. I think you figured out. So this year, I actually don't think I could. I'm trying to imagine it. I'm sure there's YouTube tutorials. I think you just like put, I mean, I don't know. See? I'm not a rapologist, but I think you put the ingredients in the middle of the circle.

Yeah. And fold, fold, fold one side, fold the other side to meet in the middle, kiss. And then wrap it up the side. And I think that's it. But there's probably other ways to do it. And then I have to put it in the pan because I like it toasted. Oh, okay. Well, you can do that.

I guess I could do that. I guess I could make my own big nasty wrap. You're already making sandwiches. I am. I've been making a lot of simple sandwiches. Look at her. I've been really making like elementary school lunches for myself. And then I send you pictures.

It'd be like apples cut up next to my sandwich. I'm like, look. That's really funny. People will send. beautiful meals to people and I send you sandwiches. I mean, I have sent you sandwiches too. I'm like simple sandwich, peanut butter and jelly. And I love it.

And then I do often have the little apple juice boxes in my house. And I'm like, lunch. Lunch. Lunch. We're feasting. We're feasting. I, in, when I was in Dallas, I was hankering for a big nasty rap. I found a big,

nasty rap from a place called bad chicken. And I, it was a chicken Caesar wrap. So I asked for extra chicken, extra parmesan cheese. They had shredded and grated. And I was like, okay, I'll do both. They sent me, have I shown you the picture? Oh, you did, yeah. It was the most inedible thing.

They were like, oh, you want more? Oh, we'll give you fucking more. You'll be fucking sorry that you asked for extra. because it looked like they just opened like a canister of craft-grated cheese and dumped it on top. Oh, no. It was on the outside of the wrap. And then the wrap had so much shredded parmesan cheese in it. And then so much chicken and so much dry.

Mm-mm. It almost turned me off from wraps as a whole. Oh, no. But I said, bad chicken will not color a wrap for me. So glad. I still love a rap. Thank goodness. I will still get my rap.

You should. Middletown Diner used to have the best fucking wraps. But then they rebranded to something else, and I don't know if they have the wraps anymore. Oh, no. It was called a Texas rap. I'd get it, sans cheese. Texas made me think of Tex-Mex. Yes.

And there was a place. I think it's still there in New York called Mexicue. Oh, I think I remember Mexico. You loved Mexico. I don't think I ever had it. I had it often. I had enough for the both of us to the point where they knew my order, which I kind of like, but is a little embarrassing for them to be like, oh, you want the number five? And I'm like, yes, please.

What was the number five? I honestly can't remember what I got. But I remember loving it. It was a bowl. Yeah. It was like a burrito bowl situation. I think shredded chicken. But I can't remember what they put in it.

But I loved it. When I lived at 146 in Broadway, there was a Chinese restaurant like around the corner. And if I went, hi, they'd go, chicken wings, French fries, well done, grape soda. And I'd go, yep, thank you. They'd be like five minutes. And then it would arrive. And I remember once I was paying and I was like, shit, I don't have enough. And they went, well, we'll be back tomorrow.

And they were right. So I just paid them the extra the next day. I do like that about New York places that you. go too often because they remember you. Yeah. The other restaurant by my house, Toast, I love Toast. I remember, I picked up an order, my credit card

declined, my debit card declined, and then I was on unemployment at the time, so I used my unemployment card and that declined, and that, it's pretty sad. Yeah, it's pretty sad. Because it was like, oh, you have no money. You don't have that scent. And they went, take it. Come back tomorrow.

And I said, okay. And I went I went tomorrow. I went the next day and paid for it. Oh. Yeah. A lot of nice people in New York City. And people go, New Yorkers are rude. They're not. They're so giving and nice. Yeah. We went to a restaurant the other night that we go to all the time. And they made us wait so long. I couldn't. I actually couldn't believe. The nice man at the door is your whole party here. I was the only one there. So I was like, you know they're not.

it's just me. And he's like, do you mind waiting outside? But they have a back bar area where I could have gotten a glass of wine. I know. And I don't know why I didn't ask. And I don't know why he didn't offer. Yeah. And then when we all got there, I was like, we're all here.

He said, all four. And I said, well, we're actually down to three. And he went, can you please wait in the front? And I was like, but I see the table. I saw the table where he was going to seat us. Yeah. And then, like, had to call two other people over. And they were having a whole meeting about how to seat.

people. Yes. It was wild. And I was like, tick talk, Mr. Wick. We could have been eating already. Yes. And I, when we left, I don't, when we left, we had shut the restaurant down. Yeah. But I don't think anyone sat at that foretop that they were going to sit us at. Probably not. And I don't understand. They sat us in kind of the walkway. Um, they added a chair to a two top. I know they added a chair. I've seen that table, usually two chairs. That's true. And they changed the chicken. They did change the chicken. Did we talk, did we talk about this? Mm-mm. Do we talk about this, Sally?

I don't think so. No, that they changed the chicken? Yeah. You looked so, you were like, that they changed the chicken. That was really funny. No, we didn't talk about it. And then the nice man ate it yesterday. Did he like it?

No. There was something off about the sauce. It was weird. I feel like they put the vodka sauce on the chicken. It felt like it was for pasta. Yes. I was like, I don't understand what's happening. I don't understand it either.

I had been talking about spatch cucking a chickas. And Marcy, who I host 90 Day with, she found a recipe where you spatch cuck the chicken, and then you make an off-poff sauce. Usually, off-paw-paw-goes on steak. It's like a steak-free sauce. But I was like, maybe I'll make that. But I'm not making anything.

I see these things, and I go, maybe. but I had a hankering for pound cake the other night and the nice man was helping me and I had put all the ingredients together and I was trying to ladle it into the pans and he was like pour it and I was like I don't know how and then he was like you know these like old Betty Crocker

recipes that come in the box some of them call for egg but you actually don't need egg it just makes you feel like you're cooking and I was like oh is there is there supposed to be egg in that And he was like, yes. And I was like, I didn't put it like him out. And he's like, that's why the batter is so thick.

He goes, Nicole, there was three ingredients. And I was like, yes. And that was too many. Yeah, that was one too many for my brain to handle. That was very funny. But sometimes I'm like, where does my brain go? Because I'll study things. Yeah.

And I'll be like, got it, got it, got it. Got it. And now when I cook, I set everything out. And I think I have to take a step further and maybe write it down and then check off what I've done. Yeah. I mean, I saw it. There was a very funny video of this woman, like, looking at her recipe. And she was looking at an instruction that was like one teaspoon, no, like one tablespoon of baking soda.

And she's like, okay. And she picks up the baking soda. And she looks back. And she's like, okay, one tablespoon. and she like gets the tablespoon and she's like scoops and she's like let me just check one more time one tablespoon of baking spoon got it

and she pours it in and then goes back and it says one cup of baking powder I feel like that's that happens to be all the time I'm like wait no I read that 100 times and I fucked it up

let's take a break take a break oh we're back who's in there I don't know. Can't be a hair. It's not a hair.

I had chips earlier. Maybe it's that. Yesterday you ate a chip, and before you ate it, you went chips. And I was like, are you offering or announcing? And you went announcing. It was very fun. I don't know why. I was like, chips.

Chips. It does feel like I'm offering. Chips. Chips. Just for me, though. Chip time. Chip time. We don't have a show right now.

To watch? Yeah. What we should watch the Swan documentary when it comes out. Ah, yes, yes, yes. You did mention that. Yeah. I cannot wait. We were trying to explain it to Tess.

And Tess like missed Fox's heyday of reality television. That was all up in it. I loved it. I only saw bits and pieces of the Swan when it re-aired on E. But it's such a insane premise. These poor women. Yes. Yeah.

I'm so glad they're doing this documentary. I've been wanting it for so long. Vice did a smaller documentary. But I think this, because it's on Hulu, I think maybe Hulu got more of the girls. But boy, oh boy. I mean, I just saw the trailer for it. And thankfully, they look pretty normal.

No, I was expecting them to look crazy. Because they did full plastic surgery on these women and like transformed their whole body and like. and they had to work out while they were like recovering from facelifts, which is so nuts. My favorite, I don't know if we've talked about it, but my favorite one of that era is, well, my favorite too, Joe Millionaire, because a woman sucks his dick on camera. And I remember as a, I think, child watching this, and it said slurp, slurp. They transcribed a blowjob. Insane.

And then who wants to marry Prince Harry? Do you know about that? Just a man with red hair took away these women's phones didn't let them look at the internet or nothing and when the women were like, I don't think that's Prince Harry, they would send a psychiatrist to go,

why do you think that? Because it's not and they're like, I don't know, I think you need to go to sleep. Wild, jail, put them all in jail. What a treat, what a treat. And then we all got to see it. Yeah. The saddest one of that era

only lasted one season. It was called, I think, big love or more to love. And not to be rude, but the man, this like eligible bachelor, look like a sack of potatoes. He was not a winner in any way. And then all the girls were like,

in hindsight, maybe like 200 pounds, 2.30, 250. Like, no one was, like, to me, nobody, like, looking back, I was like, these just look like, like normal plus-sized women, not even that plus. Like some of them are 16s to me is that small. Yeah.

And a lot of, like, they would cry and be like, this is my last chance and my only chance to find love. And it was hosted by, I think, a plus-size model named Emmy, who was, like, famous in the 2000s. But it is, yeah, was I, am I right? Yeah, you're right. It is so depressing. Oh, gosh.

And I loved it. I ate it the fuck up. Have you ever seen it, Allie? No, I never did. It's because it only aired for one season. I think it's like eight episodes. I don't even know if he picks a girl. I can't remember if he picks a girl.

Yeah. Ugh. Do you remember a wife swap? Yes. What a crazy conceit for a show. I just take my wife and I'll take yours and then you're just like living in a house with a stranger. Yes. I just saw a clip where they bring this white.

woman to another white person's house and there's a confederate flag outside and she's like oh no why why would they have that up that doesn't stand for anything good well that's gonna have to come down and like the tweet that went along with it was like they emotionally damaged people for 30 minute segments and i was like yes truly truly i like the one where i wait it might be wife swap or it might be like super nanny where this little boy's like uh-uh i'm gonna eat whatever I want to eat and I'm packing my bags and I'm going. She can't tell me what to do. Do you know what I'm talking about? I think so. I think it's Wife Swap. And he like gets his little suitcase and he's going to leave. That's so funny. Is it Wife Swap?

Yeah. And he's famously known as King Curtis. Can you play it for Sashir play? Yeah. King Curtis. It is really funny. I miss old reality television where people weren't going on to like then become an influencer.

Yeah. Where they were going on to like live their true. for us. Yeah. Yeah, we really does seeing their life. Yes. Their reality.

And I often think about, I don't know if we talked about it, but Ice Cube EP'd a show, I believe on FX where it was like race swap. No, I don't know this. They put white families in blackface and white families, or no, yeah, white families and black face. Oh, I think I did see.

About this. We, after this, we got to watch that trailer. Okay. Isn't that interesting? Incredible. Wait, and then I don't know what it's called, but it's like race swap and I believe it was on FX. It is nuts. We did the craziest things.

I miss it. Yeah. I miss it. Now we just have to watch hot people fuck and like not and try to not fuck too. But also they be actually fucking. Like we're actually watching them fuck. Yes. Like.

Oh, it's called. called black white. So black white trailer. That's insane. They look crazy. They look really crazy. And I believe at one point, the white man who dresses up as a black man is like, I did not know how rude and how I would be treated. And I was like, do they have any idea?

But why wouldn't you just believe? Just because it doesn't happen. It is such a. strange. It's gotten so much worse, but people not believing other people's experiences and it's like just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it's not real. I know.

Yeah. Empathy. Empathy. That's what we need. Yeah. That's like the Oprah eye color experiment. Have you seen that? I don't know. I have heard of an eye color experiment that predates Oprah. Well, Oprah,

yes, it does predate Oprah, but I think Oprah is the one who kind of put it in the zygeist where it was like you separate the, she separated the audience like brown-eyed, blue-eyed, and then the blue-eyed people got treated better than the brown-eyed people. And the brown-eyed people were like, we don't want to stand for this.

And then she was like, now imagine if you're black and they're like, oh my. But it is really funny how quickly. Because like, I don't think the tapings were more than an hour, but it was like within that hour, this lady got blue-eyed people to treat brown-eyed people like, Crash. Wild. Wild. Wild. What power will do to people. It's true. Oh, yeah. We're talking about

sex on these shows. The most scandalizing one that I've seen. For a hot second, I forgot we were talking about sex on these shows. And I was like, on this show? I said, you're trying to fuck me? I was really like... Back to having sex on these shows. I was really confused for a second. No, but yes. shows, the queer ultimatum, that was, I was like, I'm fully watching these people have sex. Yes. That's crazy. Yes.

Like it would be like, you know, a grainy, not even grainy. Just like a black and white footage of these two people in bed. And like you can see like an elbow and an arm going in and out or like their butt in the air. And I'm like, I can't believe this. And I don't know if they're totally. they must be told. I'm sure it's in some fine print that they're like signed but it's like

can you not? Yeah can you not? I don't even want to see. I'm like I feel I'm like getting to know these people and their relationships and I'm like rooting for some of them and some of them are getting to know these people and then they're like here's them having sex I'm like I shouldn't be here for this I've just

met them. I agree I fully agree because I'm like I we're watching softcore porn at point. Pretty much. And I'm like, why is that in the edit? It shouldn't be. Or like hearing like groans. Like it's like a closet door and it's like, yeah. Yeah. Yuck, yuck, yuck. It is also like a question of ethics. It's like so yeah, sure, maybe they've signed away their whole lives. But like, how come you was the editor or producer can't be like, well, I guess we shouldn't show that.

And there's ways you can imply it. Yes. But you don't have to like, I don't want to literally see It happened. Yes. There was a scene on 90-day Fiancee where they got into the shower and it was like, you guys, you have to go. Yeah, because also like, does that me a cameraman is just in the room? Yes. That's insane.

Yes. It's so weird. It's weird. And then sometimes you'll get the like, get out of here, get out of here. And I'm like, you shouldn't have to. They should just leave. Because that's implying that the camera operators are staying. But then it's like, yeah, I guess they don't leave until someone in their ear is like,

all right, you can move out now. Insane. Yuck. I don't, it's not for me. I don't like that. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. That was like on too hot to handle where, I mean, I guess the premise is like you can't fuck.

But I'd be like, this seat is so long, watching them run around and like flirt and. Yeah. Yeah, there was one, uh, this show, Age of Attraction, where it's like, you don't know. know how old the other person is and they like fall in love and there was a sex scene and you saw the woman's face clearly like like her whole body is under the sheets but her face was out making a orgasm face and I was like I should not be in the room for this this is insane that's too damn much too damn much oh maybe I just stopped watching the dating shows or something I don't know traitors is coming back and I'm excited yeah but it's got the normal it's got normal people on it

And I'm a little worried about the normal people because I don't want to watch like baby influencers. I want real people who are stabbing each other in the back. And I don't know if we're going to get that. I don't think so. I think everyone who signs up for these shows think, you know, they have seen other people get full careers afterwards. Yeah. So I don't know if normal people are doing it anymore. I just want someone in it.

I just want a group of people who are in it for the love of the game. Yeah. Which is lying. Just want sociopaths. Kind of. Lie to one another. I know we've talked about this. I always say I would kill the traitors,

but I don't know if you were at this game night. I was lying really well and it was exhausted after. I was so tired of lying to people. I was like, I got to take a nap or something. I can't imagine doing it for days on end. Yeah. And yeah, you live with these people? Yes.

You get to know them? Oh my Lord. There are two people from one season of the traders who are dating, and it's Fadra. I think it's Fadra and C.T. Fadra is so funny. Fadra was a, she was a traitor

and she was like unbothered the whole time. There was like scenes of her being like, ooh, La Zaya, and everyone being like, who do you think of the traitor is? And she's like, oh, no, no, I don't know. And she's so funny.

And she made it pretty far, but she's dating this guy's CT from the challenge. When you see them together, you're going to be like, huh, will you show them? Yes. Sorry, there's a lot of show and tell this episode. That's okay. That's okay.

Show me. And then we should answer some questions and queries. Yeah, they would only meet each other on TV. Yes. They don't fit to me. But good for them. Yeah. I hope they're happy because it's such an odd pairing to me.

Yeah. I love it. I love it. Ugh. Let's answer some questions. Yeah, like how did they fall in love? Yeah. My first question is how did they fall in love?

All right, let's get into it. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. You're one of my favorite podcasts to listen to. My question is, I'm in a newer lesbian relationship. We're six months in, and it's been very fun. My struggle is that I ultimately know this isn't my girl for life. Nothing is a super major issue in our relationship to tell me. me this, it's more of an underlying feeling that I don't see myself marrying or moving in with

this person. I struggle with people pleasing, so I know I've let this relatively good relationship drag out. We have some fun plans for the following months that include friends' pool parties and fall camping trips, and these preset plans make me want to stay to enjoy this time together. But always in the back of my brain, I know I have to eventually bring up that I don't see myself being happy in the relationship long term. Wondering if either of you have ever had this kind of relationship and how you navigated it. Thank you for any advice. Love you both.

I've never. I mean, I've definitely been in relationships where I was like, I don't think this is going to last, but then I just broke up with that person. Yeah. Like I was in a relationship with a guy and my friends who are a couple asked if I wanted to go on a whale watching thing with them and my boyfriend. And I was like, and it was going to be like in months. And I was like, I don't think we're going to be together by that time.

And that's how I knew I was like, I should break up with him because I don't want to have future plans because I don't want to do them with this person. So, wait, I'm dying to know who it is. I'll tell you after. Okay. Yeah. Break up with that person because they're just in this relationship thinking nothing's wrong and you're like, that's not my person. And I think you can have like a nice civilized breakup hopefully and then be like, well, I do like this friendship. Do you think that maybe we can keep our plans as friends?

Yeah. And if they say no, they say no. If they say yes, then that's cool. Yeah. You got to break up. That's not nice. It's not nice. And also kind of a waste of both of your time.

Yeah. I feel like I've been that person. Yeah. For many people. They're like, I'll go out with her again, but I'm just saying it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if you know, if you know, you know.

Don't keep it dragon. Yeah. Don't keep it dragon. Don't keep it dragon. Don't drag it. Don't keep it dragon. Don't drag. Dead cow. Horse beating. Beat it. Nicole, are you okay? No, I think I had a stroke. The dead cow. Courts is a beating. All right, All right. Allie. Give us another one.

Hi, Nicole and Sashir. I've been a longtime fan of the show and absolutely adore your friendship and the many stories I listen to. I love and respect both of your careers, keeping you. Now, I have a pretty common dilemma that most young adults are going through right now. My best friend, let's call her Elizabeth, and I have been friends since college, so around 2016. We're very close from the jump and stayed close over the years until we graduated. Although, towards the end of our four years of college, I noticed she started to hang out with other people associated with her major, which was film studies. Cool, no problem. It was nice to see her hang out with other people who were interested in what she loves.

I've met them too. They're nice people, but they're not really my friends. Fast forward to COVID times, and she tells me she's moving to New York. I live in New York, and she's from Wisconsin, so this was a big move for her. We always choked around and said if she ever comes to the city, then we would be roommates. I was still living with my parents at the time, and I didn't have a job. She told me she was moving to Brooklyn with one of her film friends, and it's a guy, and he's gay, by the way. That part kind of bum me out because the dream of living together was crushed. So, anyway, fast forward to when I finally move out of my parents' house and get my own apartment in the city.

Elizabeth is still living with her gay film friend. I started to hang out with them and her other film friends because most of them moved to Brooklyn as well after college. Everything seemed good until I started to feel like how I felt during our last years at college. Elizabeth hung out with her film friends a lot more often than hanging out with me. And mind you, there was no bad blood between us and nothing negative has happened. I lived in Manhattan, so whenever we hung out, I always opted to travel to see her, not vice versa. She's never even seen my apartment. Okay, now fast forward to when I lost my job and I had no choice but to move back to my parents' house in Westchester and go to graduate school.

Elizabeth knew about this big change and supported me. However, since I started graduate school, she never reached out to me to see how I was doing or asked to hang out. I would always be the one to text her and say, hey, thinking about you, miss you, we should hang out soon. And then I would get the usual, yes, we definitely should. And then months would go by with nothing. I even sent a text saying, hey, I know life is hard. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. And yet we never had that talk.

It came down to once a year text summing up what we've been up to. And her saying she's busy with work. I'm not good with communication and neither is Elizabeth, but I feel like I've done the most reaching out in this friendship. She's supposedly my best friend, but now she feels like a stranger to me. And I feel like I should have seen this coming during our last years of college. I've now graduated with my master's, and a lot of personal things have happened to me. I move back into the city, and all I want to do is talking to hang out with Elizabeth.

I'm afraid I'll get the same run around and never truly hang out with her again. Oh, and I forgot to add, she wished me a happy birthday, dot, dot, dot, 11 days later. I didn't text back. I always text her on her birthday. Anyway, you'll probably say I should reach out, but I just want to know your thoughts and opinions on this whole situation. She's been a very nice, genuine person, and we never thought about anything, So this is giving weird and rude behavior. What should I do?

Thank you. And so sorry this was long-winded. I don't think she's your best friend. Yeah. And that's really sad to say. But I think maybe you two just have different ideas of friendship. Of friendship in general or just what this friendship is to you. And maybe you were best friends at one point in time.

But I think maybe Elizabeth just thinks of you as like, oh, sometimes friend or like a close friend. but not a best friend. And that is sad and it sucks. But also you have both grown through so many transitional phases of your life from like college to adulthood to moving to a big city to graduate school. Like those are all really big life changes. And sometimes your friends change in that journey too or your closeness with people changes in that time frame. So yeah. I don't think it's like a, like a ill will thing or like, I think she just just thinks differently

about what the relationship is. And I think you, because I have, I didn't hear in the email, I set up a date and a time to hang out. And I think maybe if you set a date and a time and an intention be like, hey, I just kind of want to talk about our friendship a little bit. Do you, would that be something you're interested in? I'm free these days. Let's get a drink somewhere. It can be in Brooklyn or whatever.

And then you can just like talk about it. And then maybe she can say, oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I wasn't showing up. Or maybe she'll be like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that our friendship was like that deep. Like not to be rude. But yeah, if you want to get to the bottom of it, I think you have to go to the source. Yeah.

Get more clarity. Yeah. And I mean. location also is a big factor. Yes. Like when I was in New York, I also lived in Brooklyn and I hardly wanted to go to the city unless I had to go to the city. And if I had people who lived in the city, I probably didn't. I never saw your place.

Never, not one time. You lived in Harlem and I never saw it. I think I saw your place maybe once or twice. Yeah. Yeah. It's just mentally, even though I know I can get there and it's like not that big a deal, but it's just like, I couldn't possibly. And if everyone else I know is here,

I'm gonna see them. I'm gonna stay here. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. And also, you know, I know you want to like talk to your friend and you want this friendship to like be rekindled. But it's like, don't put all your eggs in that basket. That basket has holes. Your eggs are falling.

Scrambling on the ground. Oh, no. In the heat. Oh, no. I don't know. Summer. Samanga's hot in New York. But yeah, like make other friends. Like, strengthen the bonds of the people who do show up for you. You know? Yeah.

I mean, I'm sure there's cool people in your graduate program. I hope, like, you know, she has her film friends. You make your, I don't know what they're doing. But what your graduate program friends. Yeah. And 11 days after your birthday is a little tough, you know. Yeah. It does suck.

But, yeah, I guess, yeah, I think that also is just like a lot of signs of, like, they're busy with other things. Yes. And I forgot your birthday one year. That is true. That was sad. I'm really sorry. Thanks.

You realized it eventually. I did. Oh, boy. I still haven't come back from it. That's okay. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and be like, you forgot. You'll just text me happy birthday randomly. Happy birthday, I'm so sorry.

Like, it's July. Solved. Uno more, por favor. Creamy Sister. I've been listening for seven years and you two have been such a treat and a dream. The pod keeps getting better and better, still praying for a network to sponsor a travel show with you too. My best friend, Gigi and I have been close for over eight years. We met in college and she supported me through some very hard times, including an abortion and a toxic relationship.

We are bridesmaids in each other's weddings and even though we live in different states, we used to keep in touch regularly by calls and texts. Gigi just had a baby, and I have not spoken to her in over six months. I know that she and her husband are juggling full-time jobs and alone parenting, so I don't want to pressure her, but seeing a six-month baby update on Instagram made me realize how much time has passed. In the last six months, I dealt with job insecurity, planning a move, health issues, and other stressful things, and I really missed having my best friend to lead on. I also noticed she's had visitors and taken trips with other friends, and I haven't been included or even talk too much. I've tried scheduling calls, told her I missed her, and asked about her life without unloading my problems. I hate conflict and would love for things to go back to how they were, but I feel pushed the back burner. I want to support her as a new mom, but I also want to be seen and valued as her friend.

At this point, I feel like maybe she doesn't even see me as a best friend anymore. A side note, my husband and I have decided not to have children and have chosen the dink life. Dual income, no kids. It's a mutual, considered choice for us, and I love to. love kids, but parenthood is not the path we want. I wonder if that's why I felt more distance from Gigi lately. When she got pregnant, she made a comment that made it seem like she thought I disliked kids, but I'm just really excited and happy to be an aunt. I made sure to tell her that I'm great with babies. I love my nieces and nephews, and I have three nieces and nephews on my side

and six on my husband's side. How would you approach this? Is there a gentle way to share how hurt I feel without guilt tripping her should I wait it out keep trying to make low pressure plans or be more direct any recommendations for a conversation like this would be so helpful thank you for any insight I love you both I wonder if the trip

she's taking her with like other parents or if like she's out with other parents I honestly think a six month old this lady's tired as fuck probably bring like ask if you can come

over, ask when the baby goes down, ask if you can come over with like a bottle of wine and be like, hey, I can come to you, we can talk, you can tell me about motherhood. And I understand that our person who emailed feels like they've been pushed to the back burner. But like a baby is a really big thing. And then the baby is number one in her life. So it's like maybe if you're like, I want to be included in your life in this new way. We're like, I'm your friend you dish with at night. Maybe that can be a thing. Yeah.

Or you just ask her, like, I miss you. Oh, yeah. And I would like to talk to you more. What works with your schedule where that can happen? Which could be after the baby goes down for bed. It could be, like, really early in the morning. Or, you know, she knows her own schedule. You don't.

But like, is there any time available where you can have visitors or we can just talk on the phone or something? I have a Marco Polo chain with two moms who have multiple kids and also recently have newborns. And I do understand like just feeling like we have so much, like very different lives. Yes. And sometimes they'll talk just the two of them as they should. because they're talking about things that are way out of my depth. And I'm like, I don't even know. I don't know what you're saying.

I don't have any advice for this. You're like sonogram? I don't know. I eat gram crackers. You making s'mores? I can talk about s'm more. And so, yeah. So it's like I'm not, I don't think, it's not like they don't want me a part of the conversation.

I just don't understand what they're talking about. And that is perfectly fine. And also, like, the Marco Polo chain does help us stay in contact. Because, like, one of the moms will, like, listen to the polos while she's breastfeeding and, like, gives her an activity to do while, or, like, a thing to listen to while she's doing an activity. So you can ask, like, would you like to try Marco Polo? Yeah, I think that's nice. Yeah, so we can, like, see each other, but, like, you can get to it whenever you have time. Marco Polo should sponsor you.

He really should. Tivas, Marco Polo, these people need to get up on it. Get up on it. Come on, Tivas. Solved. Solved. Well, if you have any questions or queries, we have an email address. It is Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com. We also have a phone number, but we haven't figured out voicemails yet.

323-23-8-6-554. And you can watch us a day early on Disney Plus. A day early on Disney Plus and Hulu. And then our episodes still come out Wednesdays on YouTube and whenever you get your podcasts. Oh boy. Happy listening. Happy listening. I don't know.

There's still some time left. Oh, just in time for my favorite season. Fall? No. Best Friends Tour season. Oh, yes. I always forget about Best Friends Tour season. It's the most wonderful time of the year.

And it starts on October 7th at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. And then you have to have the traditional October 8th show at the Neptune Theater in Seattle, Washington. And then everyone gathers around Cobbs Comedy Club in San Francisco for a show on October 9th. One of my favorite parts of Best Friends tour season is the November 3rd show at Talia Hall of Chicago. I broke a toilet there. I love the November 4th show at the Wilbur and Boston. Oh, that's a really good part. Oh, what about the November 6th show at City Winery in Philadelphia?

Love that. And of course, there's the November 7th show at the Howard Theater in D.C. And as we all know, the season ends on November 8th at the Gramercy Theater in New York. Oh, it really is. Oh, it really is the most magical time of the year. People can start getting ready early this year by getting their tickets now. Yeah! Yeah!