Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Sasheer’s Weird Airport Ride

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

Hello Friends! Sasheer and Nicole share their weird airport ride stories. One story includes Nicole’s driver swerving across the road but letting Nicole know that they were sober. Sasheer’s driver needed the car to fix itself! They both explore the different slogans for fast casual restaurants and do a deep dive into weird statues. Google “Worcester” and “Boy Riding Turtle Statue.” Thank us later. Plus, Nicole and Sasheer answer one listener with two juicy questions. This was recorded on Fri. August 2nd, 2024 Sources: The Embrace – Martin Luther King Jr. Statue in Bostonhttps://www.npr.org/2023/01/17/1149491284/martin-luther-king-mlk-statue-boston-consternation-laughs-reaction-coretta Burnside Foundation – Turtle Boy Statuehttps://www.atlasobscura.com/places/burnside-fountain-aka-turtle-boy  No BuzzFeed quiz this week. Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

🎵 Hello, Sashir! Hello, Nicole! Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! Straight from the airport! Was that LAX less than an hour ago? Yeah.

Wait, less than an hour? No, two hours ago. Because I landed at two. And then it took forever for this car to come get Yeah. Wait, less than an hour? No, two hours ago. Because I landed at two. And then it took forever for this car to come get me. Oh, no. And then he called me and he was like, hey, I'm here. And I was like, so am I. You're not here. And he's like, oh, well, your location says you're in the airport.

And I was like, but why wouldn't you just come to the location that is agreed upon? Like, why don't you just come down two more posts to 2-3 or 2-C or whatever. I don't like when they call and they're like, are you going to be at B7?

And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, okay, I'll be there in two minutes. Why are you telling me this? Just go to B7. Just be at B7.

Just be at B7. Be at B7. Yeah. Be at 2-C. I got picked up the other day from the airport, and the driver picked me up in an electric BMW. I don't know what. I don't know models, but it was some. Was it the one that looks like the egg?

No, I don't think so. Oh, was it SUV? No. Oh, sedan? Mm-hmm. Probably the 3. Yeah. So I was in a BMW 3w three and three series the three series and uh

i got in and the driver was like we have to pull over and stop the car for like five minutes just so we can like fix itself what and then we can go and i was like uh okay and so he pulled over not in the area where cars go it was like in between the parking garages we're still at the airport like we're like just to the left of everything oh no kind of in front of a gate and so he pulled up pulled over he fully turned off the car, got out of the car, and he was like, five minutes. And I was like, and I'm just in the car. And I was like, is he going to leave me here?

Wait, and it's hot. And it was hot. And I was trying to roll down the window, but he already turned the car off. So I was just sitting there in this hot car, and he's just like looking at his phone, waiting for the car to fix itself. And then he gets back in the car, turns it back on, and he's just like looking at his phone waiting for the car to fix itself and then he gets back in the car turns it back on and he goes oh fuck and i was like did the car do its

thing and he's like no we have to like drive a little bit more and then pull over again and then do it again and i was like you can just take me to the terminal and i'll get a different car and he's like oh okay and he's like do you want me to drive you to LA exit where they have all the other Uber cars? It'll be cheaper to get it there than to get a car to come get you at the terminal. I was like, sure. And we drove like two feet and it went and like

it stuttered. Oh no! And then he was like, I actually can't even take you that far. What? So I was like, you have to pull over and let me out. And he's like was like, you have to pull over and let me out. And he's like, sure. And so he pulled over, let me out,

and then his car was just rebooting in front of me as I waited for a different car to come pick me up. I, okay. Maybe they're good for the environment,

but like, that has never happened to me in a gas car. It is never once in my, nobody has ever said, we gotta sit for a little bit when my car picks itself. That's really wild.

I still don't even know what it was doing. I was like, is it updating now? Does it not know that you're driving it? God, take a break. And the car was like, I'm so tired. I'm so tired. Can we just, just give me a minute, please. Give me a little time.

Wait, so sure, that's so funny. It was scary. oh my god well my i feel like i've been gone for days but i did a red eye on wednesday and today is friday so technically i left thursday morning my uber driver i'm pretty sure was shit faced but he was drinking a smoothie and then at the end of the ride told me he was sober. And I was like, so you were just like this. Wait, why did he tell you he was sober? Like unprompted? Because we talked the whole time. He was swerving. He was speeding. He was tailgating to get on the highway. So to get on the five from my house, the five south, there's a turning lane and then two other lanes of traffic he was in the right most lane and made a left hand turn and then he said my clicker was on or my blinker was on and

i was like i don't i don't i don't think those the it doesn't matter they saw my blinker they saw it and they chose not to let me in and i was like like, I don't think that's the rules. They don't have to, though. You're in the wrong lane. Yeah. And then zoom, zoom, zoom. And then was swerving. And then he was looking at his phone at one point. He was blasting techno.

He was talking over the techno to tell me that I needed to buy an electric car. But I was looking at his battery. That was at 10%, which I was like, are we going to make it to the airport? His battery, that was at 10%, which I was like, are we going to make it to the airport? And then he told me that he liked Vegas and he loves night pool parties. He loves Greece. And he's like, Mykonos is, you know, they're their own thing now. They think they're too good for the rest of Greece.

And I was like, where are you from? He was like, Athens. And I was like, okay, you can say that. And then he was like, people are always surprised when I tell them I don't drink. And I was like, you don't say. You're like, color me surprised. As he's swerving around. And truly had the biggest, the biggest smoothie I've ever seen.

I was like, this must have so much vodka in it. Yeah. But I guess there wasn't. Huh. He didn't help me with my bags. vodka in it yeah but i guess there wasn't huh he didn't help me with my bags um i had to figure out how to open the trunk and then i had to press the button to close the trunk because he's like he was just bouncing to the techno just dancing having the best time oh my god and i still tipped him. Well, yeah. It was wild. When I say swerving, Sashir, like, you know how in the Tesla it has, like, the lanes? I could, like, see the car swerving off the screen. And I was like, I don't, this isn't good.

There's multiple things telling this driver he's not in the right lane. Yes. The actual lane. Uh-huh. The screen in front of him. Yes. But I guess I was like having a fine time. When I was in Syracuse, I had a rental car and I don't have the lane assist on my car

on because it's annoying. I like driving and I pay attention. Yeah. And it's, okay, I think the lane assist is dangerous. Yes. Because I was in this Kia, I was in a Kia Sportage, which is no longer a compact SUV. It's gotten pretty dang big. Oh, wow.

But it has the lane assist on it. So I would take my hands off the wheel and it would just... So it was just helping you out? It was just helping me. I was just swerving. I was just swerving. I would gently glide to one side and glide to another side and i was like whoa technology's wild we shouldn't have this someone probably

thought you were falling asleep this lady's she's going to the right nope now she's going to the right yeah i i don't think we need these things i think we should just pay attention yes i'm starting to do what you do where you don't, where you just look at your mirrors. You know, that crazy thing you do where you just look at your car mirrors when you drive. Because I felt like I was depending too much on the reverse camera. And I was like, I need to turn my damn head. I need to, like, look at the mirrors and look at the windows because what if one day my camera is like lagging or broken or whatever? I don't

want to get used to just looking down. My fear is it shows me it's stuck on an image that's clear and there's like a lady in a stroller behind me. And because you know me, I'm going fast. Whether I'm going backwards or forwards, I'm going fast. And if it's all clear, I'm zooming backwards. And I don't want to kill a woman in her stroller. Like in the hit movie Speed. Have you seen it? The bus one?

Yeah. Yeah. Where the bus can't stop. Right, right. Oh, that's you? You're the bus that can't stop? No. Oh. Yes. I am the the bus can't stop. Right, right. Oh, that's you? You're the bus that can't stop? No. Oh.

Yes. I am the bus that can't stop. But then there's a couple and they have a stroller and then they hit the stroller. But there's no baby. It's cans. It's cans? Keanu Reeves goes, it's cans. It's cans.

Like cans of food? It's empty cans because they were an unhoused couple. Yes, she's politically correct. Oh, I see. They were collecting aluminum cans. In a stroller. Oh, got it. And then the bus hits the stroller and Sandra Bullock is like, no.

And then they look behind and he's like, it's cans. Wait, who said that line? Who are you impersonating? I can't remember. That's how he said it? It's cans. Wait, who said that line? Who are you impersonating? Keanu Reeves. That's how he said it? It's Cans. Wait, now we have to watch it because I swear to God that he says Cans in the wildest way possible. It's Cans.

It was Cans. I guess I don't know if I clocked Keanu Reeves' accent. Really? When he was in The Matrix? He has an accent. I guess I thought it was like... Wow, Morpheus. I guess I thought it was more like

sometimes he sounds like a like a dude from like like his Bill and Ted era feels like that's his voice but other than that okay let's watch it

okay oh god Let's watch it. Okay. Oh, God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Cans! Cans! Oh, my God! It was no baby. It was full of cans. Cans! Cans! There was no baby. It was full of cans.

Cans. Cans. Yes. Cans. There was no baby. It was full of cans. I love the way he says cans. Cans.

Cans. Also, the end of the movie is so hot. I really don't remember. Keanu and Sandy. Kiss. Ooh. I really miss, like, romance. Romance.

I really do. I can't, like, Wolverine, I just saw that. Wolverine loves Deadpool. What's it called? Deadpool and Wolverine. Oh, that's it? Yeah, it's just that simple. I want it, like, kissing.

Okay, yeah. I guess there like kissing. Okay. Yeah. I guess there was no love story in it. In the first two Deadpools, there was a love story. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I really, I want it to be like smooches. Yeah. But I guess it was more about the bromance between Deadpool and Wolverine.

And I am itching for an X-Men movie yeah I think everyone is want it so fucking bad I think it will I think it's more likely to happen because X-Men 97 everyone gobbled it up and loved it so much and then there's like yeah Deadpool I feel

is like ushering in like a way to see more X-Men yeah and I'm like listen Hugh Jackman just do it just fucking do it just do it forever do it till you're 97 like they say like just do it I think he will I want him to I want to meet Hugh Jackman so bad I've only met him once isn't this funny that I said I want to meet him so bad and then I met him once? Also, I've only met him once because most people have met him more than once. You can meet him. You can, for sure.

He does Broadway shows. And I met him after a performance of The Boy From Oz, which I didn't see. I saw Taboo because that was my favorite show at the time. But then we went to the stage door. Yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, Hugh Jack time. But then we went to the stage door. Yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, Hugh Jackman. And he was like, I die. Because he's Australian.

Yeah. Yeah. Cuns. Cuns. And that was our only interaction. Yeah. He seems really nice. Ugh.

He seems incredible. Yeah. All I want to, okay. I don't, I like, I want to act more and host a little less. But like, they don't have a host for the Oscars and I'm like, what if they let me and Hugh Jackman host it? Oh my god.

I would love that. That is a great combination. Who do we tell? I don't know. Yeah. But I would like, I woke up out of like a hot dream and I was like, me and Hugh Jackman could sing show tunes. He'll sing them well, and I'll sing them very poorly. So that'll be funny.

And I'll be the duo nobody knew they wanted or needed. I never thought about that, but I love this. And everyone's going to love it, and Hugh Jackman's going to become my best friend. Yeah. I love Hugh Jackman's going to become my best friend. Yeah. I love Hugh Jackman. This weekend was like a real awakening with people I love. Yeah. I also really love Rodney Dangerfield.

Yeah. And I went to the National Comedy Museum in Jamestown and they had some of his jokes and stuff. And one of the jokes was, it was just, what a crowd, two times. And I said out loud, I said, wow, it really felt so off the cuff when he would repeat things. And I was like, what's wrong with you? Why are you like this?

Well, the comedy you love is repetition. You love when something repeats. I really do. i do love repetition i love silly voices and repetition i'm a child well you know you're pure pure at heart thank you yeah i also kind of think i'm pure at heart yeah um i was oh i guess i was just telling somebody that I, whenever I shake Clyde's hand, I say nice to meet you and then laugh uproariously alone. And he's like, oh my God, we've met a hundred times, you stupid bitch. I live here. But yeah, I like, do you do things at your home where you like do it and then laugh and

it's a thing you do all the time? Oh. Hmm. Hmm. I don't know if I am making myself laugh at home by myself. I mean, sometimes I'll hug the wall and be like, thank you, house. Oh, I like that. Thank you, house. Oh, I like that. Thank you, house.

Thank you for housing me. Thank you for being good. Thank you for being sturdy. Yeah, I'll do that a lot. Don't know if I have any funny jokes I do. I don't know if I have any goofs in my house. I mean, it makes sense I don't think a lot of people are having as much fun as I am

all the time yeah I like yeah I'm always having fun and that's great I put a face mask on last night when I was at the hotel and you know how like a face mask kind of restricts you from speaking yeah but I kept going

because it felt funny. And then that noise would then make me laugh. And then I heard a man shitting next door. And I was like, these walls are so thin. This man has just heard me making noise and giggling to myself. And he seemed sick as hell. Oh, no. Ew. I was a little concerned about him. yeah i hope he's okay i just saw um uh an instagram reel slash an article about feng shui and where to position

your bed in the room and it said don't put the headboard of your bed on a wall where a toilet is on the other side of the wall. Because it makes you feel sick. Which, there was no more, like, science behind it. I have no idea. Yeah, but it was just like, don't put it on the other side of a toilet. Well, I'm here to tell you, feng shui is right. Feng shui? Feng shui.

Feng shui is right. Because I was feeling sick shui feng shui is right because i was feeling sick and i think my headboard was up against the wall where the toilet was yeah but also i had just eaten apple bees oh well that might be a part of it i got ribs i ate ribs from apple bees yeah wouldn't be my first choice yeah it was pretty tough yeah it was um it was yeah tough and here's the kicker i'm going back to Applebee's on Monday. Wow. It's, what was it? All good in the neighborhood?

No, eating good in the neighborhood. Come on. I'm so sorry. It's okay. What's Chili's is? Chili's is? What's Chili's is? Tagline.

Chili's is? What's Chili's' tagline? Chili's' What's Chili's' tagline? We don't say Chili's' I guess not, that sounds insane What's Chili's' What's Chili's' tagline? I think you're right Yeah

I hate to break it to you Judith But you gotta look up all of them Red Lobster All the fast casual. Yeah, what's Buffalo Wild Wings? Hmm. Do you remember when Buffalo Wild Wings popped off? I don't.

I can't say that I have. I don't know. When did it pop off? It's always been a thing. It was a couple. It was not a couple years ago. It was like maybe 10 years ago. Everyone was talking about Buffalo Wild Wings.

Everyone? Everyone was going to Buffalo Wild Wings. Everyone? Everyone was going to Buffalo Wild Wings. I think I've been once. Really? Yeah. Oh, I've been a lot of times. Really? Yes.

I love fast casual dining. I do know this. Olive Garden when you're here, you're family. You can get the tour of Italy there. That is three separate entrees for the price of one. And that's all of Italy. Yes. Yeah.

And at Applebee's, I was like, I cannot decide between the chicken fingers and the ribs. And she said, she flipped the menu over and she goes, two for 26. You can get both of them. Wow. I said, oh my God. And she's like, and it comes with an appetizer. And I said, well, I'll get a Caesar salad. She's like, you get two salads.

And I said, well, I'll get mozzarella sticks. That's just one, right? And she said, yes. That's too much food. It was too much food. Oh, but I guess it was meant for two people. Probably. Huh.

She scammed you? She really did. But I ate not all of it. A good amount? Enough to make me sick. We have the slogan. Okay, for Red Lobster, it's fresh fish, live lobster. It's the worst slogan I've ever heard.

That's why they're going out of business. Fresh fish, live lobster. Talk about your biscuits. Well, I don't know if Buffalo Wild Wings is any better. It's your home for Well, I don't know if Buffalo Wild Wings is any better. It's your home for wings, beer, sports. Wait, that doesn't make any sense. Your home for wings, comma, beer, comma, sports?

No, no, no. Your home for wings, period. Beer, period. Sports, period. I love it. That was just a bunch of men that were like, don't know put all the things we like in there beer, wings, sports, home sports

that's so funny it's really funny give us more what's another one um TGI Fridays thank god it's Friday is it?

thank goodness it's Friday maybe probably that's what it stands for yeah but do you think that's their tagline as well? No, I'm sure it's something more clever. I hope it's

something more clever. I hope it's something more clever too. I used to love Ruby Tuesdays. You ever go there? I have been there, yes. They put sprinkles on their milkshakes. That's something. Now that's fun. Sometimes I'm like, I should move to a small town.

I don't need cuisine. I am delighted by fast, casual dining. Yeah. I went to a Dairy Queen and was shook. Oh, in here, it's always Friday. Oh, that's great. In here, it's always Friday. That's fun.

Wow, I really like that one. That's a good slogan. That's a great slogan. Hmm. But yeah, I went to a Dairy Queen when I was in sear i've been to upstate new york twice this month um and when i was in syracuse i went to okay first of all syracuse instead of starbucks on every corner there's soft serve there was so much fucking soft serve there i have chills remembering how much soft serve i saw i went around the corner i'd be like annie's soft serve there. I have chills remembering how much soft serve I saw. I went around the

corner and be like, Annie's soft serve hut. I was so, oh my God. But I was like, I don't have time because the only time I had was before I had to work and I didn't want to go to work with a tummy ache because, you know, me, lactose, what? Intolerant. Yes, diva. So I wanted to go after work, but it never really aligned except for this one time where I was like, well, I'm not going to waste it on something new. I'm going to my tried and true. So I got a peanut buster parfait this year. When I tell you the ratio to hot fudge to peanuts and I add sprinkles to the ice cream was immaculate. Wow.

Perfection. Wow. Perfection. Wow. So good. Yeah. I was like horny for Syracuse. I was like, do I move to upstate New York? Just for the soft serve? Yeah.

Yeah. And I could eat it every day. Yeah. Because I mean, I podcast, so like I could sustain a living there. Yeah. I could buy a house in Syracuse. And eat soft serve and podcast. And you'd never see me again.

Well, that's sad. I would get so fucking fat. And I'd be so fucking happy. I'll get me a Syracuse man. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like a nice life. I might do this. No, don't do this.

I'm gonna. Don't. I'm so close to Canada. Yeah. I'll get my health care up there. Just mosey on over for health care. So for Dairy Queen, it's happy tastes good. It does.

And it changed a lot. So later on, it was meet me at DQ. I will. And DQ something different. What the fuck does that mean? DQ something different. What the fuck does that mean? DQ something different. And then Outback Steakhouse has like four. Oh, hell yeah.

I forgot about Outback. So we got no rules, comma, just right. Just right. We got always fresh in the Outback. Okay. We got go Outback. Go. We got go Outback. Go Outback. Go Outback.

Go, go, go Outback. That's funny. Yeah. We got crave on. What? And then the last one I have is Outback Steakhouse, period, done right. Okay. Done right. Done right. Okay. Done right.

Done right. Can you pull up a list of fast casual dining establishments? It's a dying breed, fast casual dining. Is it? I feel like we just listed a bunch. Yeah, but I feel like Red Lobster is going under. And that's sad. I feel like Applebee's are closing left and right.

Chili's, there used to be one closer and now I have to drive further out to get my southwestern egg rolls that also make my tummy hurt. Here's the thing. I don't, I think I love bad food

and bad food doesn't love you. It doesn't love me. Like my stomach constantly hurts because I eat garbage. But Chili's has this molten lava cake that is so good. Ooh.

Sweet green. No. These are not it. No. These are not fast casual. No. No. Burger fight?

No. Qdoba? No. No. I need fast casual. I need fast casual sit down dining. Sit down. Got you. That's like they're trying to pretend that that's fast casual sit down dining establishment sit down got you

that's like they're trying to pretend that that's fast casual that's not fast it is fast sweet green is not fast casual it is fast

I'm not doing date night at sweet green but you are at Applebee's I've been trying I have been trying to convince any old person to take me

to Chili's to Red Lobster. Yeah. But here's the thing. I'm like a little scared to do a date night there and then have that person be like, that was disgusting. And then me be like,

so you have bad taste. Well, that will be your litmus test. Then you'll know, oh, we have different sensibilities. This will never work. This is not fast casual. Chipotle, Blaze Pizza. No, I need a hostess.

Sweet cream again? A hostess. Shake Shack? Shake Shack is not. That's fast. This is fast food. I have the slogan for IHOP. Oh.

Come hungry, leave happy. Come hungry, leave happy. I like that. They say you may not be full, but you'll leave happy. Come hungry, leave happy. I like that. They say you may not be full, but you'd be happy about it. Oh, my God. I had Denny's. I had Denny's the other day when I was in Syracuse because we wrapped at like 3 a.m. And, Shia, I got a BLT with an egg and they gave me rotten meat and rotten lettuce.

Like, it stunk when I opened the box, like rot. Someone in the kitchen put that together and said, send it away. And I, even though it smelled rotten, was so together and said send it away and I even though it smelled rotten was so hungry I bit into it and I swallowed and then I was like I think that was a mistake and then in the morning rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat that's the sound my butt was making right into that toilet did you eat the whole No, I had one bite and then I had to like move it out of the room because it stunk so bad. Oh, God. It was really, really nasty.

They tried to kill me at Denny's in Syracuse. It sounds like they did. Yeah. Lord Jesus. I'm so sorry. Yeah, it's okay. What's Denny's slogan? So we, you ready for all of them?

Yeah. All right. So in the 1990s, it was America's original breakfast dinner. Diner. I guess it's kind of breakfast dinner. Yeah. America's breakfast dinner. And then 98, it was good eats and comfortable seats.

Okay. Okay. In an 03, they changed it up real fast to a good place to sit and eat. This is so funny. They're like, we just, if you sit down, you'll be okay. If you just come in and sit. Please just sit. Sit down, please.

I swear, it's comfortable. It's fine. Your feet won't go dead. Just please sit down. Are you tired? Just come sit. dead. Just please sit down. Are you tired? Just come sit.

And clearly they did not like that slogan in 03 because in 04 their slogan is, we're cooking now. We're cooking now. We weren't before. We were just letting you sit. We were a furniture store before and now we are cooking. My

favorite is 2006 with Denny's. Always works. This is, Denny's has been like, we are mediocre. We do not expect anything more or less. We are mediocre. We're not aspiring to get any higher than this. You'll get food here.

I got two more. In 08, it's real breakfast 24-7. Real breakfast. That's funny. Not that fake shit. Not that fake shit, no. You're going to get real pancakes.

Oh, I could do a pancake right now. I could too. And some sausage. Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, my God. Wait, what's the last one and then I'll tell you. The most current one is America's Diner is always open.

How funny. It's just, it's not. How funny. It's just, it's not really, no, it's not eliciting any emotion at all. not at all. Just,

it's open. We're open. We're open. You can sit. We're cooking. Things are happening. It's just facts. We have a roof.

We have bathrooms. We got a door. Today, at the Delta Lounge, because I had to lay over in Detroit. Rock City! Isn't it Rock City?

I have no idea. I don't know. I'm convinced. Detroit, Rock City! And I got there at 10.30 and I was like, oh, yes, breakfast. And then this lady started taking the things away from me. And I was like, oh, yes, breakfast. And then this lady started taking the things away from me.

And I was like, wait, no, please, please let me have breakfast. And she was like, okay. And then another lady was taking the bagels. I was like, yeah, I need a bagel. And I chased these women down for breakfast. And then I said out loud, I was like, I can't believe that you guys switch over for lunch so early. And she was like, well, we switch over by like 11. And I was like, 11 is breakfast.

Why don't you do noon? And she was like, I don't make up the rules. And I was like, I'm so sorry. Slam this woman against the wall. Why don't you do noon? I had her in a chokehold. And I was like, this is Detroit rock city. Let me have my breakfast.

I'll rock you, lady. I was so humiliated when I finally sat down with my food. I was like, I chased people around. You sure did. For eggs, sausage, and a bagel. Chased. And then I was like, where's the fruit going? She's like, if you wait, we will bring out

more fruit. Just standing by the kitchen door like, where's everything going? Where is it? But like, Delta, just like, let me have breakfast until noon. Did you choose your choice benefits? No, I need to get on that.

You gotta. This is how they get you. They don't remind you to do it. Because benefits no i need to get on that you gotta yeah this is how they get you yeah there's no reminder remind you to do it because you get choice benefits so i picked mine this year and or for next year that's delta lounge access um i was like i don't need to bring people i haven't brought anyone in the year that i decided to like get the the real deluxe one yeah um and then i got miles oh nice and then i got one more thing oh i tried to do double miles because you get like the platinum benefits and the diamond ones but they they were like no you can't do that too many miles and i was like but why also the flight attendant on my first flight beautiful eyes all up in my business oh

no he was like thank you for being a million miler. And I was like, oh, yeah, thanks. And then he was like, do you want a drink, Miss Byer? And I was like, oh, yes. And I was like, why is he calling me? He didn't call anybody else by their name. And then when I was getting off, he's like, now you have to wait two hours for your next flight. And I was like, why do you know this?

I didn't know flight attendants knew all the information. All of it. I thought, I know they have your name, but he hasants knew all the information. All of it. I thought, I know they have your name, but he has your whole itinerary. I guess so. He was like, I know where you're coming from.

I know where you're going. I don't like that at all. I was like, and then his eyes were like steel gray. And I believe he was like of Indian descent. So he had like, uh, you know,

darker brown skin. So the steel gray eyes really fucking popped. And I was like, are you gonna, are you, are you putting a spell on it? I was like, why do you know everything brown skin so the steel gray eyes really fucking popped and i was like are you gonna are you are you putting a spell on it i was like why do you know everything about me he was like your dad's name i know it he's like i know have a nice labor and i'm like but it was so wild and then the second flight attendant i told you this on the phone people love to comment if you can sleep on a plane. Mm-hmm.

She was like, wow, you really slept so good. And I was like, yeah, I fly a lot. And she was like, I bet. That's how you get to a million miles. And I was like, I used to have two million. She said, they took some of your miles? I was like, no, I spent them. That's really funny.

And she was like, oh, okay. But I was like, this flight attendant was like ready to fight for me. She was like, they took a million of your miles. I was like, no. Where'd the other million go? I was like, I spent them. That's really funny. And then the lady sitting next to me, I did take a picture of it because I couldn't believe it.

She was the wildest woman I've ever met in my whole life. So she was sitting on the aisle. I was the window. And I was like, oh, I'm over there. And then she put her hands in her lap and pretended like she made herself smaller. Have you ever seen that? Yes. You're like, you didn't move. Like you, you, you put your hands in your lap and then maybe your head went back. But like your knees are still there. Yes. So then I climbed over her. Oh no, I would have made her do that.

And then did like a little twisty turn and then like plop down. And I was like, oh, because I just misstepped my foot a little bit. And then she was like, oh, I would have gotten up. And I said, but you didn't. And she went, oh. And I said, but you didn't. And she went, oh. And I said, and it's okay. It's okay. And she went, okay.

And then she was trying to take her tray table out. And she was like, I can't. This won't. So I said, okay. And I pulled it out for her. And then she went, well, it was really stuck, wasn't it? And I was like, uh-huh. It wasn't. So then the. And then she went, well, it was really stuck, wasn't it? And I was like, uh-huh, it wasn't.

So then the, and then she started typing. She had an iPad with a keyboard. Oh, yeah. And she was typing a text message. She was typing a text message that was, I don't know. I took a picture. It was like maybe 15 lines long. It was a book.

This woman was writing a book to somebody. And I was like, I can't believe this. And the person was not sending books back. She was just sending novels to somebody. And then they were like, you need to put

your tray table away. And then she was like, I can't. And I'm going to have to get it out again at some point. And I just can't. And then the flight attendant

was like, okay, we'll do it. And they did it. She was like, oh, that's really stuck. And she's like, yeah, this is ridiculous. And she was like, okay. we'll do it. And they did it. She was like, oh, that's really stuck. And she's like, yeah, this is ridiculous. And she was like, okay.

Then she got a Diet Coke. And then she put her can in her cup where the cups go. So then I didn't have any room to put my cup. And I was like, well, I'm not going to say it. I don't want to start a fight with her because I'm going to sleep. So then there was a chip in her glass. And she went, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. There's a chip. There's a chip in her glass and she went, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. There's a chip.

There's a chip in my glass. And they're like, oh, no. Oh, no. I was like, then don't drink from that side. Like, does it really actually matter? I would complain about a chip in my glass. Would you? Because what if it chips more and the glass shatters?

Is that what happens? Yeah. Never in my life would I think that. It compromises the whole infrastructure of the glass. It compromises the infrastructure of the glass. Doctors are made in the house. Any discrepancies within the infrastructure of the glass could compromise the whole thing.

That's so funny. It would never occur to me. Or you could cut yourself. It's like, yeah, just give me a different glass. Every United flight I've ever been on, I've gotten like chipped glasses. Really? Yeah, United sucks and they hate me and I don't know why. I don't know the last time I've been on a United flight.

Listen, I had to fly one. I had to fly one. You flew one? I flew the plane. I don't know the last time I've been on a United flight. Listen, I had to fly one. I had to fly one. You flew one? I flew the plane. They didn't let you fly? Yeah, and that was what the delay was. I was like, how does this work? This feels like a cockpit.

What the fuck? But yeah, my United flight back. I don't know. Okay, so did you know there was like an airline outage? Yes, yes, yes. I do know that. I didn't know. Okay. So did you know there was like an airline outage? Yes, yes, yes. I do know that. I didn't know that. Yeah.

Because somebody was like, oh, did you land? And I was like, yeah, I landed. I was on the plane, like whatever. And they're like, were you delayed? I was like, what? And then I like, I don't know. I guess I went on the internet. I don't know how I figured it out.

But I was like, oh, they were asking because the internet went down for a little bit. Which I was like, we are too dependent on the internet. Yeah, it's a little scary. Like, it can just go out for a couple minutes and everything is affected. Yeah. So on the way back, on my United flight where I did get chipped glassware and I was on the oldest plane known to man. And it debunked my theory that only shitty planes go to shitty places because we were going to L.A. on this shit fucking plane. It was so disgusting this year.

It was from the 1920s when planes were just invented. Truly, we had to Flintstone it up into the air. Like, it was nasty. I also wonder if they are getting some of the older models back out to replace the Boeings. Oh, probably. Because they were like, well, people will just be uncomfortable, but they'll stay in the plane. Yeah. They won't blow out.

But let me go. Let me go. If that's how I'm supposed to go, let me go. No. I think I would survive it, though. I think a bird. Because I've shown so many birds my food. I think a bird, because I've shown so many birds my food.

I have shared so much with the birds in the sky. I think they would take care of me. So, Shia, in my Delulu state, if I got blown out of an airplane, I simply believe I would hit an altitude where the birds were, and they would be like, we love that bitch. And then they would deliver me to safety. They like assemble like a Power Ranger and just like carry you down. Yes, same. If I fall off a boat, I do believe a dolphin will take me to safety.

I really believe the animals are here for me. I met a squirrel the other day and I think that squirrel is my friend. I'm sure. I introduced myself. I said, hello, I'm Nicole. But then I started laughing because I was like, what are you doing? Anyway, this United flight, I can't believe I made it back. They checked us in manually. Remember in South Africa, we kept going to airports that were cosplaying as airports. This was like that. She had like a master list and was like, give me your

last name. And then I told her, I was like, bye, Nicole. And then she was like give me your last name and then I told her I was like Byer Nicole and then she was like is Jason with you and I was like who's Jason and she's like oh there's someone else on the flight named Jason Byer and I was like well he's not mine it's not my Jason and it took fucking forever damn yeah it was really tough I'm glad you made it back thank you me too and then there was this lovely lesbian couple behind me um don't know why I needed to let you know that they were lesbians, but they were older. I like knowing that. And I was proud of them. And I love that they were like out and about in their Tevas. And then one was wearing like closed-toed hiking shoes, but it had like ventilation slots.

It was like a sandal, a hiking sandal. It was chunky. And they were having a lovely time and they were just annoying me because they were so happy and i was like it's too early to be this happy and then they were like why don't we just change the gate and i was like say it louder you gotta tell them you gotta tell them to get a computer that's working yeah because they were also trying to check bags at a different gate so you had to walk to a different gate to check your bag if you're in the back of the plane and then get checked in with a master list.

I was like, just move the plane. And then one of the ladies was like, yeah, move the gate. Planes move. And I was like, you're on. Say it louder. But they didn't. Damn. But I'm back. I'm back on the West Coast, baby. Thank God. And then I'm going right back to the East Coast.

Gotta go right back. Gonna to dc gotta wake up joe biden and remind him he dropped out yeah let him sleep actually he doesn't need to wake up anymore let him sleep imagine i break into the white house i shake joe biden away i can go you dropped out do you remember and he was like no do you think he's is he currently still in the White House yeah I think he'll be there till November till the turn

yeah which is so funny to think about yeah right he's just like resting he's convalescing

and good for him yeah good for him yeah And good for him. Yeah, good for him. Yeah. Do you think you could be president? When I was younger, I thought I wanted to be president. Whoa, that's insane. And not even like, you know, as a child, like middle school. Middle school?

Yeah. During puberty, you said I could be in charge of people? Oh, yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. But then I was like, there's other ways to help out. That seems like a lot of pressure. It does seem like a lot of pressure. I was never a child that was like, you remember like in kindergarten or whatever, they're like, you could be a cop, a fireman, a doctor, the president. And I was like,

what else? I was like, none of those things interest me. I don't want to be any of those things. Yeah. I never, yeah. I never wanted to be in charge of other people. Yeah. I wanted to be, the first job I wanted to be was an illustrator for children's books. Yeah. That's a great idea. The first job I wanted to be was an illustrator for children's books. Yeah, that's a great idea. But I was not good. And I took an art class and I said, everyone's better than me. Damn.

And I don't want to try. Isn't that wild? I literally was like, oh, I give up that dream because I don't want to work at it. I mean, it's good to know. That's great to know. You could have spent years on it and then still been bad. Oh, God. How embarrassing.

Embarrassing. There is, so I was in Jamestown. And there's a Lucille Ball statue. And everyone calls it the ugly statue. So then they made another statue. But I was like, imagine the person who made it. They unveil it and everyone goes, that's shitty. And you're like, I worked on that.

I thought it was nice. I unveiled it because it was done and I thought I did a good job. Isn't that, doesn't that suck? It reminds me of that statue. I think it was of Martin Luther King. I don't know what city it is. I know we've talked about it on this show before where it looks like someone's eating ass. Boston. In Boston?

Yeah. Where it's like, I think it's someone hugging two people hugging or something but it's like arms and then like a like a big mass and a head and it really looks like someone's propping someone up and just eating them out and everyone yeah they unveiled it and people were like oh oh uh and it's huge yes oh my god yes oh my god it is funny because it's like so did no one no one gives notes like and i feel like things are noted to death yeah but nobody was like hey this looks like you're eating ass. I wonder. Yeah, I don't. Even this angle is crazy. Yes.

All the angles are wild. Can I share another statue with you guys? Please. Judith, can you look up Turtle Boy in Worcester, Massachusetts? Turtle Boy. You are not prepared for it. Like, I don't even want to say what it is. You're going to be like, what the fuck?

Oh, my gosh. A man fucking a turtle? That does look like a man fucking a turtle. The city of Worcester says that he is riding the turtle. And I don't know what they think riding is. Yeah, truly. He certainly is. Wow.

And also, why? This turtle looks like it's in pain. Oh, my God. You can see its face. Oh, my god. You can see its face. Oh my god. Wait, that is unhinged. Oh man. That's wild.

This is sick. Wait, can we look at the Lucille Ball one? Because I didn't get a chance to go over there, but people kept telling me it was ugly. Aw, damn. Yeah. Also, why don't I just get rid of it? Well, they did another one. So they have the bad one and the good one.

Oh, my. That is tough. That is tough. Teeth are hard. Teeth are hard. I imagine teeth on a statue is pretty hard to do. Oof. But, I mean, the face is tough.

Why? Also, her hair doesn't even look like Lucy's hair. Lucy has curly hair. It's like straight. Wow. That's fun. It is an ugly one. So I'm going to say Steve Buscemi.

I think Steve Buscemi is very handsome. Yeah, I think so too. I think we get stuck in being like classically beautiful people. Where I think Steve Buscemi is really interesting looking and very handsome. Yeah. I don't know why I just got like really riled up about that. Yeah, just like, you got a soapbox from him.

I think it's because I'm a pretty person but I'm not traditionally pretty. And I just feel like we should all be advocating for non-traditionally pretty people. I think we are now. Are we though? Better than we non-traditionally pretty people. I think we are now. Are we, though? Better than we were? I don't know.

I just recently saw, it was like, I don't know, it was a tweet or something, with Jesse Metcalf, who is in Desperate Housewives, who wasn't, like, rock hard, but he was, like, muscular, just, like, a little softer. And they were like, if this was made today, he would look so different. And I was like, you're right. He would be, look so different. And I was like, you're right. He would be like cut. And I'm like, but that was hot.

And to me, it's still hot. Yeah. I don't want like a rock hard cut person. I mean, that's nice. But I also really like some soft muscles. Yeah. And like a pretty face. He had like bushy eyebrows.

They probably would have tweezed them. Yeah. I just, I really think we got to get back to character actors and weird looking people. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Like, I'm watching Entourage currently. They're all very interesting looking gentlemen.

Yeah, definitely. You know? Mm-hmm. And I think they're all very sexy in their own ways. Yeah. It would be nice. Right? To see a bunch of, like, in their own ways. Yeah. It would be nice to see a bunch of like models, I guess.

Yeah. Give me some, give me some uggos. Put some uggos on my screen. Yeah. Take a chance on some ugly people. Yeah. And people who don't look traditional. Give me big nasty eyes.

Big nasty eyes. Give me big fucking teeth. Yeah. Big chomps should we help people has it come to that time i think it has yeah greetings nicole and sashir today i bring you two queries semi-unrelated but equally important query one a dilemma of former friends i am recently divorced and joined some dating apps back in november after swiping i noticed that the husband of a girl i was friends with in middle school and high school is on Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble

and appears to be active because stumbled across his profile multiple times despite swiping no. I have never met him nor spoken to this former friend in over 15 years. I have not been a part of her adult life, but we do interact on social media. At first, my stance was, it's none of my business. But after several virtual run-ins, my natural human curiosity was piqued. At first, I thought they may be going through some problems or quietly splitting up. I get it. But recent posts indicate they are fully together. I don't want to make assumptions here, especially since my own marriage ended due to infidelity, and I recognize I may be coming from a biased place. My question is, do I keep

out of it and ignore, or do I reach out to his former friend and say nothing? And say something. I should clarify that I deleted the dating apps about a month ago, and I do not know if he's still on there. What would you do? I know I would have appreciated the info in my own marriage, but I also don't want to seem as a homewrecker, and I don't know how the info would be received. Thoughts? I think that's a mind-your-own-business. I think it's a mind-your-own-business thing.

And I think we're figuring out another option is that they could have an open marriage. They could. She might already know. She might know. Yeah. There's a lot of, you know, poly people, open people. But also this man might be openly cheating on his wife as well. Yeah.

But you don't want to be the bearer of that news, especially if you don't have hardcore concrete evidence. Maybe those are inactive accounts and he has just had them and they're paused or whatever um there's so many different options i think it's i think you wait until you interact with them in person at like if you ever interact with either of them in person and be like do you guys have an open marriage why would would you do that? They haven't seen each other in 15 years, and the one time they see each other, she's going to be like, hey, crazy question.

Do you have an open marriage? Go big or go home. That is quite big. If I saw you for the first time in Chili's in 15 years, and I saw you on the dating apps, but, like, I knew you had a partner, I would be like, Sashir, I know it's been 15 years, but, like, remember how close we were?

What's the juice? What's the juice? No. What's the juice? Is it orange? What's the juice? I think it's not your business to ask what color the juice is or what kind of juice it is. It's, yeah, it's, you're not friends.

This is not your friend. You don't talk regularly. And that's why I wouldn't care. I'm nosy as fuck. Let me in. But also, the ramifications. What? We're not friends.

You said it. So you don't care? No. I haven't seen you in 15 fucking years, and I want the juice. What do I care? What? I ruin your marriage yes also if the person who wrote in like so easily stumbled upon this their account

multiple times there has to be someone who's closer to their circle who has done the same thing like you're not the first person probably saw his profile online and who has had these thoughts so it's like it's not your responsibility to bring this up you are absolutely right because i have stumbled into like not close friends but friends on the apps and i've definitely screenshotted and sent it around and been like what's going on not to the person but i was like to mutuals be like tell. I love knowing the juice. Come on. Is it cranberry? Okay, so there's a second part to this.

Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Lovers and friends. Speaking of being on the apps, after about five months of casually dating me and a guy who I like a lot, finally decided to be exclusive. Everything has been amazing, but for one thing. I knew walking into this, he was close friends with two of his exes, one from over a decade ago, let's call her Tina,

and another from maybe three to four years ago, let's call her Allie. I have met Tina twice now, once on a double date and once for a barbecue at her house with friends. I like her and I do not feel like there are any issues. However, Allie is another story. Maybe a month before me and my guy decided to take the next step, he mentioned that Allie suggested they could be friends with benefits as they had been on and off in the past between their relationships while single. He told me about it. Keep in mind, we're both seeing other people. I'm very transparent about it at the time and asked me how I felt about it. I did not like it, but I told him it's up to him and ultimately he

decided not to go through with it and confessed he had romantic feelings for me. Since then, Allie has checked out an apartment at his complex, asked if he asked if they could be roommates. He asked me first and I told him

hell no. And they hang out at least once per week. On the 4th of July, he made plans with her before asking me if I was free. He never works on Thursdays, but says he assumed I would be working despite the holiday, which really hurt my feelings. On top of that, their plans involved using a recreational substance and watching fireworks, which made me feel super uncomfy. I told him how I was feeling, but I did not want to come off as controlling since I don't feel it's my place to dictate who he can be friends with.

I even hinted I would be interested in tagging along too, but was not extended invite. Instead, he invited me to his place after they were done hanging out. I get that we can't hang out all the time and need to nurture our separate relationships, but I feel their outing was very date-like and inappropriate for someone who has a new girlfriend. He did offer me reassurance and said that their relationship is platonic,

and Allie has not brought up hooking up casually again since he told her no of course I've shared my dilemma with friends and the consensus seems to be that this is a major red flag and I should stop seeing him if he does not accept an ultimatum ultimatum of me versus her I however do not think anything is awry at this point but I need to have but I need to have a more honest discussion about how I feel before deciding what to do. During our first talk, I told him I didn't want him to change his plans, even though I did, and wasn't very upfront. I just said I wanted him to know I feel threatened by her and was sorting out how to deal with those feelings. How would you guys broach the topic

with him? Or am I being too nice and being walked all over like my friends suggest? I am open to a reality check, but in desperate need of guidance. Thank you for your help and always awesome advice. Girl. Girl. Girl. This girl, Allie, is waiting around for this man to have a moment of weakness where he fucks her. Yeah. This girl is waiting for your man. Yeah. I think, I don't even think it has to be an ultimatum yeah i think you go this is making me incredibly uncomfortable i don't love that she has asked to

fuck you be friends with benefits she wants to move into your complex she wants to be your roommate it's very obvious that she wants something more than you're willing to give her so i think it's like you need to make a choice. Do you want to continue this friends with benefits relationship with her or are we going to grow something? And I don't think that's an ultimatum. I think it's what do you want to do? And then he tells you and then you make a choice. Do you want to keep feeling uncomfortable?

Do you want this alley girl keep roaming around or whatever? Yeah. And, you know, if he chooses to keep her in her in his life then you can go great that makes me feel uncomfortable i'm gonna dip or you can go i guess i'll stick around for another couple months and see how that goes but like if you're uncomfortable now this girl's gonna keep pushing your boundaries for sure ally is bad ally's bad she's a bad news fucking bear yeah yeah i agree with what you said and also i don't like that even though you said you going doing drugs with ally and seeing fireworks makes you

uncomfortable he still did it yeah and yeah if there really isn't anything happening there happened in there you could have got an invite you were completely free um and i i wonder also if you pose it as like hey you're aware that she wanted to have a friends with benefits thing with you really weeks ago months ago this year don't you feel like that's too soon like like that's still there it's still lingering there yeah do you feel comfortable leading her on like don't you feel like that's too soon? That's still there. It's still lingering there. Do you feel comfortable leading her on? Don't you feel like that's not fair? Is it really friends? Or is she hoping for something more?

She is hoping for something more. She is. But you have to kind of guide men to get there. You have to break it down step by step. She said this with her mouth. These are her actions. Do you think maybe

that's still lingering? And maybe she can't just switch that off and just be friends with you? And do you think maybe that's a little inappropriate for you two to hang out solo

without me especially on drugs? Yeah. I don't like it. I think Allie is pushing our friends boundaries and I think her man is pushing her boundaries. Yeah. And it's like this is the beginning. Five months is the honeymoon stage. That's the beginning of this relationship.

What is he going to do to push her boundaries a year in? Yeah. Go on vacation with Allie? Like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. And also it just you saying this makes me uncomfortable. Ideally, your partner should want to try to figure out how to make you less uncomfortable. Yes. Which isn't necessarily like you can compromise if he.

But it would be nice if he came forward with some ideas. If it's just like, oh, you should get over that. I'll keep hanging out with her. Yeah. That sucks. That's fucked. That's fucked. But if it's like, well, I still value her friendship, but maybe I'll just hang out with her during the day or in public spaces.

You know, like, you can figure it out. Yeah. But if it's just like, nah, that's something you got to work on. I also, I'm like, being friends with your ex, listen, you can do it. It's fine. But like your relationship ended for a reason. Were you guys that good a friend? Oh my God, you have to hang out.

Well, it varies. It depends. I don't know. But they were hooking up in between partners. Yeah. It seems like the first ex sounded more clear. Yes. They broke up. Everyone moved on.

They're friends. They double date. That's great. That's great. You get to see her partner or whatever. Does Allie have a partner? Or is Allie single just being like thirsty as fuck? Allie's nasty.

Allie's sick as hell. Go fight Allie. I will go fight Allie. That's nasty work. Dipping in and out of this girl's life. No, I don't like it. I don't like it either. I really hate Allie.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's reasonable for you to bring up how uncomfortable it makes you feel if you want to like see a future in this relationship you got to readjust your your priorities and your relationship standing with this woman and just like value how how i feel value my comfort level yeah because you should feel safe with your partner yeah yeah i think we came to the end. I think so too. Because I saw

I saw something. I saw the sign. And everybody knows I saw the sign. They know. They watched me see the sign. I saw the sign. If you saw the sign or if you would like a sign, you can email

us at NicoleAndSashira atGmail.com. We also have a phone number. What are you looking at me like that for? I'm just looking at you. You looked at me in such a wild way. I'm just watching you talk. Hello, Elle. 424. I can't look at you while you talk? 424.

645. 7003. We also have... We also have merch at podswag.com slash bestfriends. I was not looking at you like that. You weren't, to be fair. We have transcripts for our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at Earwolf.com.

Lastly, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. That's the easiest way to support the show. See you later, everybody. Bye.