Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - The One Where They Made 200 Episodes

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

They said we couldn’t do it, but we did! Happy 200th episode of Best Friends! This week, Nicole and Sasheer share their favorite moments of the podcast, we listen to your favorite moments, and talk about fun memories from making the show. Some highlights - the Forrest Gump recap, Sasheer is getting the salmon, best ad moments, and more. Plus, we check back in on how people are washing themselves, and learn about a tangible way the show has helped someone. We love our listeners - thanks for listening, and here’s to 200 more!  Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

happy 200th episode to share happy 200th episode nicole we did they said we couldn't do it literally they said we'd never make it but we fucking did it bitch we showed them so aggressive all those motherfuckers you said we can't fucking do it we talked ourselves silly we've done 200 hours of this podcast. Ha ha ha. Oh, boy. So, in honor of our 200th episode, we asked our listeners, our loyal besties, I don't know.

I don't know what to call them, to submit their favorite moments of the show. Yes. Do you have any favorite moments off the top of your head probably when i thought i was getting a chicken tattoo because i forgot i like ducks yes that was a really good one that was very fun oh do you have a favorite moment i really like when we were in the earwolf office and we asked people to talk about how they put on a bra that was really fun yes that was fun i also really like when we ask people if they wash themselves quite enlightening very revealing um if nothing

else this is more of a research podcast we're trying to get to the nitty-gritty to the bottom of things uh speaking of washing ourselves on, there was a tweet where someone was like, everyone is confused about washing their vulva versus vagina. Like people are like, you don't wash the vulva, but you do wash the vulva. Because the vulva is the outer part. It's like that's the whole encompassing thing. You just don't put any soap in your vagina. But you got to wash the outer part it's like that's the whole encompassing thing you just don't put any soap in your vagina but you gotta wash the outer part is it is it like people are getting confused by the

words are they thinking that the vagina is the vulva or they just are yes people are like not washing their pussies because they thought their vagina was the vulva and they shouldn't wash any of it. Oh, no. And just water it. Oh, boy. It was a very interesting set of tweets to read. I was like, Dios mio, everybody be walking around stinky.

Gotta wash it. I don't know why. I guess you would just rely on your parents to teach you your hygiene practices. But people get embarrassed to talk about that stuff, like in your own family, too. No, my mother taught me. I'll never forget. My mom taught me, too. She was like, show me how you wash yourself.

Because she was like, go, you can wash yourself now. I've done it. Now you can do it. And I remember there was a pop quiz like a week later. She was like, show me how you wash yourself. And I and i did it she was like you're not washing all the important things i was like oh no oh good damn oh yeah that's how i always remember you gotta wash every little part yeah i do remember my mom describing. I don't remember how she described it. Probably something really crude. Like, just get up in there or something. Scrub them lips.

Your mother's so funny. I would love to hear her say, scrub them lips. She makes me laugh so hard. Wait, should we get into the clips? Yes. Wait, before we get into clips. Oh my gosh, yes. I have questions and queries. Have you watched Swarm yet?

No, I haven't watched Swarm. Oh my God. Okay, let's get into the clips. I did watch the whole second season of Sex Life. Let's get into those clips. Oh, also Yellow Jackets is back. Oh, yay. Thank goodness. The first episode was pretty fucking good. Wait, I actually can't back. Oh, yay! Thank goodness.

The first episode was pretty fucking good. Wait, I actually can't believe that we hadn't talked about you. Oh, my word! We haven't talked about you. We haven't talked about you. That's also a big component of this show. It really is. Wait, I guess we have to save it for another episode?

Or should we talk about it real quick? Hmm. Because things made me angry. Maybe have to save it for another episode? Or should we talk about it real quick? Because things made me angry. Maybe we should save it. Maybe we should pin it for another show. Okay. Wait, let me just... Let me hear what you thought. Like, one word sentence about what you thought of you.

I can't believe we forgot about to talk about you. First one and two came out. I know. And I watched all of it. In, like, days. Me too. um one and two came out i know and i watched all of it in like days me too um i will say i am i think it took too long oh jordan hasn't finished it okay i don't want to spoil anything oh okay so we'll wait for jordan to finish it before we talk about it but i'm still cool with like the one word okay how you feel about the one word is

joe is a little concerning this show about a serial killer is a little concerning to me yeah i feel like they're trying really hard for you not to empathize with joe and that's not my fantasy i want to empathize with a serial killer that's not my fantasy. I want to empathize with a serial killer and root for him. And that's my prerogative. And I feel like I'm being led in a different direction. And that's not what I'm looking for.

Okay. Stop taking that away from me. Okay. Now let's hit up our clip. Yes. Hi, this is Eric. I have to say for one of my favorite moments from the show has to be the very first episode

where Nicole comes up with a phrase, I'm so mad I'm going to ride an alligator. I think to this day, I'm so mad I'm going to ride an alligator. I think to this day, I don't think a podcast could have started off on a better note than Nicole just coming up with a random turn of phrase. I just, I don't think any podcast could have had any better of a start than this one with that gem.

I mean, with a gem like Nicole. Oh my God, this is... I'm rambling. I love this show. Love you guys. Bye. That's my gem for the 200th episode. Alright, bye. I love that.

That was fun. You went on a run because you're like, I'm going to pop my top. I'm going to blow my lip. I'm so mad. I'm going to ride an alligator. And it truly came out of nowhere. We weren't talking about alligators. We weren't talking about reptiles.

And it was really good. I don't even know what we're talking about. I don't know what we're talking about either. But you were very mad. And you would have to be really mad to ride an alligator. You got to wrestle it. You got to find one, find one. Two, wrestle it.

Yeah. So it's not an easy task. They're not comfortable. They're spiky. No. And they're wet. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you'll be real mad.

Okay. Here's the alligator clip. Good job. My knickers were in a bunch. My shoes were on the wrong feet. I was swimming in a pool with no goggles. I was trying to say I was paddling up the river with no paddle. Is that a saying?

I think so. I think so. But swimming in a pool with no goggles is also great. Oh, I was so mad I was in a pool with no goggles. I think I would win a contest of knowing the most about you. He still would. I don't know. I didn't know you were born in Japan.

Well, eventually I told him. That really made, that rocked my socks. Man, I was cruising for a bruising. My lid was about to bust. I was like, ooh. I was like, pop my tops. I was going to ride an alligator. I was so mad.

Riding an alligator. That's what I'm saying. I've never heard it. I think I made it up. Oh, that's good. That's so silly. It's very silly. I like that I was angry about something with you.

Of course. It was something I didn't know about you. Oh, maybe it was like you were in clubs in school. Maybe. I don't know. Really, any fact that you learn about me makes you really angry. I should know them all by now. This is true.

Okay, let's hear another one. Someone like. Hey, Nicole. Hey, Fisher. Hi, Kimmy. hi Kimmy um do you guys remember when Nicole called in everybody from the year wolf office

to talk about who wore their bra correctly or who put the bra on the way Nicole did and Nicole was found out to be the one who was the one that did it weird or what about the time

when she was asking him men who jacked off in the office and stuff. It just killed me. I think that's what was called. Nicole wants to know how to put your book on. Thanks, guys. Goodbye. It was one of my favorite moments.

It was one of your favorite moments. I still maintain that I'm correct. I don't. I think it's like whatever works for you. don't think there's a correct i'm incorrect right all right let's hear that clip yeah it was really hard to put my bra on today do you put your do you latch it in the front and then twist it around no do you do that Do you do that? Does everyone do that?

Wait, Jordan, do you latch it in the front and twist it around? No, I do not. I latch it from the back. Me too. But Kimmy latches in the front. Yeah, latch at the front. Huh. So the two fatties are like, we gotta make pro work for ourselves.

And the two thin women are like, easy peasy. We'll get our exercise in. Shimmying our bras around our body well i felt like i was out of my mind twisting this bra around my body well waiting for the cups to come to the front but you can i can see it if i if i do it me, it's just like more mental math to figure out how I'm going to get these hooks to touch each other. They just hook. Well, if it was in front of me, I could just look at it and then turn it around. So do you take your bra off before sex or does your dude do it? And does he twist it around to the front?

No. I think off is easier. I don't twist my bra backwards and then unhook. Can you do that the next time you have sex? Let me know how it goes. Just twist. Hold on. I'd like to know if other people do this.

I want me to go grab some ladies. Yes please. Can we go grab some ladies? I'm gonna grab some ladies, one sec guys. Thank you. Yes. Yes. Yes. Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies. How do you put a bra on? I hook it in the front.

Oh boy. And then I twist it around and then I flip the bra up over my boobs. Okay. And then I slip into it. I think that's the correct way. I feel like I take it off and then I flip the bra up over my boobs. Okay. And then I slip into it. I think that's the correct way. I feel like I take it off and it's already hooked. So then I just put it back on and then I don't do anything. Whoa.

Whoa. What? So full disclosure, none of my bras have hooks. Oh. They're all pullover. So I'm in the front. Oh, boy. And then I spin it around and then I into it makes sense to me so i guess

kimmy and sashir win thank you very much for sharing with us i don't think we had enough people to i don't think enough people either but didn't we pull online yeah and i think we most people did the twist i just i don't it's it takes so much effort to twist it i don't think it takes so much effort well i also realized that i have like pretty good arm dexterity like i have a jumpsuit that has a zipper in the back and i can zip it all the way up and down pretty easily so i think i'm just good behind my back you're just flexing i'm flexing okay i'll i'll say as a twist person i wildly respect you non-twisters because i i twist because i cannot connect it correctly behind my back so like props to you both yeah it's it's very impressive thank you yeah i feel like i would get like one hook on the middle one and one hook on the

last one like i wouldn't get they wouldn't i i we get frustrated here's the thing that happens sometimes and that's just how you have to go out into the world done sometimes it's on different planes and that's how the lord let's do another one all right this one they didn't state specifics a little bit of a surprise what it is but i thought we could still read the sweet message i listen to this all the time when i need a laugh it's the quiz from the week of october 13th 2021 happy 200th episode you ladies are a treat every wednesday thanks for the laughs looking Looking forward to more. Okay. This is Nicole.

I'm a flamingo! Oh my god, you're a head turner and you know it. Oh my god, am I going to cry? Although you had a rough beginning, I did. Your experiences have shaped your life. Oh my god. And well

balanced, literally a person you are today from sassy clues to overtop performances. You're a badass. and spread those wings. I think I needed to hear that. I'm a flamingo. Yes you are. Yes you are. Mine was the therapy I've needed for a couple of months. Yeah. Yeah, you got so much joy from that i love flamingos and i love birds and i couldn't believe it was calling me one of my favorite birds

yeah a hot pink flamingo oh my word i love that it was like yeah you've had a rest yes i did Yes, I did. Yeah, I was really feeling that quiz. I feel a lot. And I'm a very sensitive person, which is like, I don't know, a fun thing I've discovered about myself over the years. That like, if you say the perfect amount of words together, I go, oh, no, I cry now. And that's just how I am it's very sweet hey thanks what were you in that quiz i don't even know what the parameters of that quiz was i don't know i don't know if it's like check your zodiac sign will tell you what bird you are i don't know what it was it wasn't as fun as a flamingo i think

i don't think so either i don't know why but i think you were a penguin i'm probably wrong but for some reason my gut is saying penguin if i buy that then i'm impressive i thought it was a masked singer quiz like which and like you were the flamingo from the but maybe not because i feel like that wouldn't make you as emotional these quizzes are wild i i know they are part of my job but i mean i could see myself crying over which masked singer are you you know it's not too far from reality. Let's listen to another one. Yeah. Hi, my name is Felipe, and I love the podcast. I just wanted to leave a voicemail with one of my favorite moments.

So one of my favorite episodes is Sashir will have the salmon that you did live. I had the privilege of being in that room. It was an amazing night. My face was swollen for the next two room. It was an amazing night. My face was swollen for the next two days because I was laughing so much. And then I loved listening to the episode afterwards. There's so many moments I could pick from, from that episode alone, from Nicole waving at the giraffe or the whole discussion about what kind of potato you would want to be. But if I had to pick one moment, I think it would be Nicole wanting to have a bird.

And I had a great time listening to this back because it's such a fun episode. It was so fun being in the room. And every time I listen to it, it's such a delight. So that is my suggestion for one of the best moments is from that episode with Nicole. She was talking about how it would be inhumane to adopt a bird, but Nicole really wants a purple parrot. Anyways, I hope you have a lovely day. Congrats on 200 amazing episodes.

I cannot wait for the next 200 and the 200 after that. Thank you for all the entertainment that you provide. And have a lovely night, day, whenever you're recording this. I don't know. Live your best life. Record whatever. That's sweet. The bit I wanted to share, too,

is this live show was wonderful. And one of our co-workers, me and Jordan's co-workers, who works at Earwolf, brought her son to the show. And he loved it. And his favorite moment, apparently, she's been telling me,

that he references still, this was months ago is sashir yelling the salmon so i have this clip for that young man who thinks this is the funniest thing because it's hilarious this is the funniest thing he's ever heard no okay i do remember we went to that awful restaurant where we couldn't get good drinks because they were bad you ordered, the server said to you, you were like, I'm getting salmon, I like salmon, salmon's for me, I like salmon too.

Yes, yes, I do. And then the server said to you, what are you having? And you went, salmon! Well, okay, it's just, you make it seem like I'm screaming at servers all the time but you are, there was two different salmon options, this is boring, why am I talking about this time but you are there was two different salmon options this is boring why am I talking about this okay so there were two different salmon options

and I was like the salmon the salmon the salmon like I couldn't figure out how to describe salmon further so he knew which salmon I was talking about and they were all like ha ha ha and then he moved to other people to ask for their order and then he came back to me and was like and you would like and I was like

the salmon we went over this it was just so funny And then he came back to me and was like, and you would like? And I was like, the salmon! We went over this! It was just so funny. Honestly, I think about it all the time because she was wrapped up in so many cloaks and leaned all the way back. So she was horizontal to look up at this man and scream, salmon! It just took me aback because we all had a good laugh about it. And then he forgot?

He forgot the bit that we just did 30 seconds ago with the salmon? I couldn't believe it. The salmon! Please, the salmon! So funny. Ooh, let's hear the parrot moment. Here's your purple parrot.

Well, I didn't tell you this, but I think I want a bird. You sure didn't tell me that. Yeah, I've been thinking about it seriously. I do think it's... You don't think I should get a bird? I just feel a little sad for the bird when I see it in a cage in a home. Oh, but what if it doesn't have a cage?

What, just flying around your house? What kind of bird? Yeah, what kind of bird are you trying to get? Oh, one that talks back to me. Like a parrot? I think so. So I can teach it things to be like, hello. In other words, I like to want a bird to be like, tee hee hee.

And this is the only reason you want a bird? And then I'll tee hee hee back at the bird. Just imagine me on my couch laughing with a bird. Oh, no. Come on! I can't imagine it. And I'm just like, ah! You just want one of those

talkback things, those little Game Boy things. But that won't love me. You think a bird's gonna love you? Yeah, anything that depends on food from you loves you. Oh, no! Yeah yeah like my dog loves me

I feed him and walk him and stuff that birds gonna love me we'll snuggle I don't know you seem really against this bird thing I just it just I feel like maybe birds aren't the type of pet that should be domesticated. You have a great dog. I do. He's great. You can get another dog. Or I could get a toucan.

Please don't get a toucan. Imagine I got a toucan. Please don't get a toucan. I open my door, I'm like, look at my toucan! Are there purple birds? Ooh, wait, these seem fake. Yeah, I don't think that i got so excited for a purple parrot i don't think they have purple parrots oh no

oh no i actually saw a video of um i don't know if it was a parrot or a cockatiel. I think there's a different kind of bird that will talk to you. And the owner hit his head on a counter on like a cabinet. And the bird saw this and was like, you OK? And the guy was like, yeah, thanks for asking. That was it. That's what I want. I want a bird to like ask me how i'm doing like are you sad i'm like yeah birdie i'm sad or no birdie i'm happy i don't know i just think a bird would

be so fun but i think you're right i think you have to be home with the bird a lot yeah you can also try and collide to step on those things that talk to you. Those little buttons that are designated to words and stuff. That does seem like a lot of work. Hey, you okay? I mean, yeah. I don't know how people train their dogs to do that. They have a lot of time on their hands. But I could get Clyde to talk to me.

But I'm worried. What would he say? He'd be like, you're a bitch. Well, just don't make that button. You have control over that. I have the power. I forgot. Just don't make that an option.

You're right. I should not make that an option. Should we listen to a normal? Yes, yes, yes. This was a heavily requested one. We got multiple requests. Oh. Hi, Nicole,? Yes, yes, yes. This was a heavily requested one. We got multiple requests. Oh. Hi, Nicole, Sachira, and Kimmy.

I am calling about a clip for your 200th episode show. My name is Carolyn. I've been listening to your podcast and loving it for a very long time. And it makes me laugh out loud on the regular. But there is one moment that I will always remember where I was, when I heard it, what I was doing, what the experience was. And I, anytime I'm down, I come back and I listen to this clip and it just, it never fails to make me smile. So March 15, 2022, I had recently just left a job that was very bad for me and my mental health.

I was in a sort of weird place, being anxious about the future. And I was out on a walk in my city. I live in Philadelphia. And I was listening to your podcast. And on this episode, Nicole is talking about watching Forrest Gump on TV. And she says that she's never seen it the whole way through. And Nicole, out of nowhere, launches into this spontaneous and virtuosic and highly detailed recounting of the movie. Like, the entire synopsis.

She just goes for, I think, three minutes straight. She gets all of the high points. The level of detail is immaculate. And just listening to Satir, like, gamely laughing and gasping theatrically at all the right moments. I was walking down the streets of Philadelphia, laughing out loud, trying to cover my face and not make a total fool of myself listening to this podcast. But the moment that completely just debilitated me and I had to put my hand on the side of the building

to brace myself because I was falling over was when Nicole started impersonating the sex noises to force over her. And when Nicole starts goingating the sex noises. I just, I lost it. I lost it. And I came home and that day when I was telling my husband about my day, I was like, yeah, it was pretty shitty. I was applying to a million jobs.

I don't know what I'm doing. But also, please let me tell you about this episode of Best Friends and Nicole describing the movie Forrest Gump. There is nothing like it. It is just a moment of comic genius. And I love it. And I love you all. And that moment will stay in my heart forever. Thank you both so much. Happy 200th. Oh, my God. I do love Forrest Gump so much. That was pretty epic. He described it for a long time.

It's such a long movie. There's a lot going on. I have seen a hundred times and apparently the sequel even more happens i think he's like at 9-11 in the sequel it's like wild i don't know if i knew there was a sequel there is forrest gump is a book that the movie is based on and then the writer wrote a sequel where forrest like loses all his money that he made an apple and it was like at 9-11 and a bunch of other historic things but that's the one that really like sticks out they sure didn't it was in like development for a while and then they think they were like we won't we

don't need this they probably don't want tom hanks causing 9-11 yeah you know america's sweetheart they don't want him to do it okay yeah let's save that clip okay i don't actually know if i've i've sat down and watched forrest gump all in one but i've definitely like walked past the tv as like bits have been on and every time i'm like what the fuck is happening in this movie so it's about a boy who has some learning disabilities, who also wears a brace and then one day runs and the braces break off. He makes a friend. She's a girl. She's dirt poor and doesn't have a good life. And her dad's always like,

Jenny, Jenny. And she's like, make me a bird. I can fly far, far away. Let me fly far, far away.

So she like becomes best friends with forest. And then they grow up. And they're definitely like 30 years old, but they're playing high schoolers. And these boys start making fun of Forrest and throwing stuff at him. And she's like, run, Forrest, run. He did what he does. I hate running. He runs away and they chase him with a car.

Somehow he's crashed into a car. Then he gets a scholarship to college and he plays pro football. But wait. He didn't play pro football. He only plays college football. That's Forrest because Forrest couldn't use his legs good. He taught Elvis everything he knows. Also his mom, Sally Field, fucks the principal to get him into school and they fuck and he goes, he, he, he. And then he says to Forrest, he's like, Forrest, your mom will do anything to get you in school. Forrest looks at that man goes, he, he, he, he.

And then he's like, I gotta go. I don't want this child making my own sex noises at me. That's disturbing. So we're back to college. He's like, I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college.

I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college.

I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna go to college. I'm gonna anything to get you in school for us. Look for that man goes, he, he, he, he. And then he's like, I gotta go. I don't want this child making my own sex noises at me. That's disturbing. So we're back to college. He's in college, he's playing football. He gets a scholarship. And then he doesn't know to stop running. He just keeps running.

He doesn't know it's a game or anything. They just give him the ball, he runs. So then they get the band to like, just like get in front of where he was running towards to stop him. So he stopped. And then they're like, okay,

you guys go to Vietnam. And he's like, okay, I'll go to Vietnam. And then Jenny, he like loses touch with Jenny. Jenny becomes like this, like hippie.

Yes. She's like no war, nothing. And then he gets shot in the buttocks in the war and saves Lieutenant Dan. Lieutenant Dan didn't want to be saved because all of the people in his family died in the war. And he wanted to go out like that too, before it saves the whole platoon. But then he meets Bubba before the, like he saves Lieutenant Dan didn't want to be saved because all of the people in his family died in the war. And he wanted to go out like that, too, before it saves the whole platoon. But then he meets Bubba before he saves Lieutenant Dan.

Bubba's his friend. And Bubba's like, ah, your Bubba's good friend. And he's just like Forrest. And they do well together. But then, spoiler, Bubba dies. But they talked about becoming shrimp boat captains. So after Bubba dies, he fulfills the prophecy of being a shrimp boat captain with lieutenant dan who ain't got no leg so then he makes a ton of money oh and in between all the story time he's talking to people on a park bench waiting for a bus you don't know

where forrest is going first he talks to this black lady who's like i don't like this my bus is here so she leaves and then the next person he talks to is this old white guy who's like, I don't know. I'll sit next to a millionaire because Bubba Shrimp Co. makes a ton of money. And then he gives it to Bubba's family because that's his best good friend. So then Bubba's mama falls out and then she hires some white people to serve her because she's been serving kitchens her whole dang life. And he got to do that for his best good friend Bubba. So then Jenny is on her own. She's naked and stuff, singing and stuff.

And for like, I like that. And then she comes to stay with him and then she starts doing drugs. And then she's like on this like window that she's like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to jump. And she's in like this abusive relationship with this guy that for us try to fight, but then like doesn't fight. And she's like, leave him alone for us. So then she comes to for us and then they get married.

Lieutenant Land has new legs and a new wife, and then she leaves for us again. He's devastated. So then we find out he's waiting for a bus to get to Jenny. And then this lady's like, you don't even need a bus. You said you went, oh, and P.S. in between, he runs across the country, a bus, a bunch of times. And people think he's like a cult leader or something, but he's not. blood so then she's like you could just run there you like to run he's

like okay so then he runs spoiler she got pregnant with forest's baby and he goes is the baby like me it's not like him it's hayley joel osmond so then they like he brings them back to his house and then Jenny dies of AIDS because of her intravenous drug use. But then there's a feather that he puts in a book because he reads through his shorts to Haley Joel Osment and Haley Joel Osment gets on the same bus with the same bus driver that he had when he was a kid. And that's the circle of horrors. It's the best movie in the whole world and i told it out of order because it's so long i do love forrest gump um i missed you know things like new year's eve with lieutenant dan and forrest and then he like sticks up for force for the first time and he feels loved and then his mama dies i missed so much

so much happens in that movie but i think i got the highlight i think you got a lot of it yeah honestly i might watch it today i love forest gum Ooh-wee. Ooh-wee. Can I watch it too? I've never watched it. Okay. Here's the thing.

I don't show people my favorite movies anymore because I showed you my cousin Vinny and he didn't love it too much. I showed John Milhiser Blast from the Past. He and Jackson did not love it in the same way i did so i will not be sharing my favorite movies with anybody ever again because they don't react the way i want them to and then i get sad for a couple days and think about my taste in movies okay that's fair i don't want that for myself i understand but i would love for you to watch it on your own and let me know about it and then if you like it we can watch it together

so i had to watch it on my own give you a report and then and then watch it again yes well i can't watch you watch it because i'll get upset that you don't like the same things I like like what happened with the Minion movie. Yeah. This is true. Okay. Minion Riser grew pretty good. I think you should watch it. I really liked it. We do agree sometimes. We both love Free Guy. I love Free Guy. Boy, it's

my favorite. I've seen it so many times. I was watching it the other day and I wasn't even sad. Oh, look at that. Okay. Should we listen to another one? Yes. Hi, Nicole and Sasheer and the whole squad. We have been 200 episodes.

That's so exciting. I sure have been listening from the beginning. I remember listening to the very first episode and then listening to y'all all through the pandemic and just being like, wow, thank fucking Christ for this. Podcast keeps me sane. And now it's into when I fall asleep. And that is the moment in which I started to get a call from Sashir to call in with our favorite moments. And I immediately started laughing because it has to be the episode that's called Sashir Scrubs with a Tool. I love the podcast and I will continue to be someone who pays for my sister premium, but just like for all the new content coming. But if there was one

episode that would keep me paying for the rest of my life, for the ability to continue to listen to this episode over and over again, it would be the sheer scrubs with the tool. It's like 45 minutes of that podcast. It would be tough for me to say right now what one moment is. And I have made so many friends listen to it. Sometimes I just hold my

friends captive and press play and then i end it and go do you use a tool do you wash your legs every time but i think like the moment that really gets it to me is when so here and nicole towards the beginning of the conversation are talking about how crazy it is that this is going viral on twitter and also guys it just went viral again like what is that about is going viral on Twitter. And also, guys, it just went viral again. Like, what is that about? Why are us white people not washing our legs? I mean, I am, but, like, why are more of us not? It's really tough for all of us. But it is the beginning of when Nicole and Sashara are talking about it.

And then I believe Kimmy and Jordan just make kind of, like, a horrified face. And they all realize, y'all all realize together at the exact same time that maybe people in the actual booth are not washing their legs and they're not scrubbing with the tool um and then we go on like such a lovely experience of talking about what lives and exists in jordan's uh guest space and how everyone needs to bring their own soap which is hilarious but yeah that moment in which everyone realizes that the call is coming from inside the Jordan's guest space and how everyone needs to bring their own soap, which is hilarious. But yeah, that moment in which everyone realizes that the call is coming from inside the house is really incredible. So thank you so much for all you do.

Happy 200 episodes. If for nothing else, that episode will keep me laughing for the rest of forever. So thank you so much. Bye. That was a great episode. It was fun. Let's listen to it.

Did you have to tell your man that he didn't wash his dick? He washes his dick, but he doesn't wash. He didn't wash some others. But in his defense, he's white. He's white. But also like white people don't wash their legs.

He was left. He was given no guidance. They don't. Have you never heard this? I have ago I talked about it at nauseam why won't you date me because I couldn't believe it but it was like it was like a this tweet it was just like wait does everybody wash their legs in the shower and then everyone's like do you not wash their legs in the shower? And then everyone was like, do you not wash your legs in the shower? You got to scrub your body.

Scrub them. Yeah. And then some white people don't use washcloths or a loofah. Yeah. There's so many times I went to like a friend's house and wasn't offered a washcloth. And I'm like, I don't understand what I'm supposed to do. Yeah. What do I do in here?

What do you do in here? You just take this bar of soap and put it on your body? Jordan is nodding her head yes. Is that what you currently do? Yeah. What? Oh my god. Wait, you just take a naked ass bar of soap and just like mush it on your body?

Yes. But what if you have guests? I give them, I one, expect them to have their own bar of soap. That's a crazy thing. That's insanity. Time out. I also. Time out!

I'm, I'm coming to you. I'm coming to you. I'm coming to you. I'm coming to your home and I will give you soap. When I travel, I tend to just double up my shampoo as body wash just for traveling. Everyone's looking at me like I'm crazy. It's because it's another kind of soap. It strips your hair of oils. It's a soap. It's not a soap. It's looking at me like I'm crazy. It's because it's another kind of soap. It strips your hair of oils. So it's a soap. It's not a soap. It's not a soap.

No. I don't think it's a soap. I think it gets you clean enough. This is the way you guys, this is honestly so wild. I'm curious if there's other people here that we could ask. I know.

Want me to go do a round? Yeah, there's people here. I'd love to know. Hi, guys. It's Josh. I'm 34. It's nice to be back on. We miss you.

I miss you guys. I take showers and use shampoo and liquid soap like I think everybody else. No, we're finding everybody else does something different. And how do you apply the body wash to your body? With my hands. This is so wild. This is so, I never feel clean enough when I'm forced to do that. Yeah. I mean, that's why you have hands. That's what they're for. That is not why you have hands. No, no, no. We are humans who

know how to build tools and we use tools to execute things that we need. And if you need to be washed, you use a tool on your body. You do not wash it like an animal. This is Sashir's platform for candidacy for president. We use tools. That is funny. I just want to say that ever since this episode my cleaning regimen has changed

drastically oh drastically so yes i have shampoo and conditioner everything for the top of my head i have a fancy face wash because this pandemic got my skin real dry but ever since this episode i have like the exfoliating gloves and i have the um the liquid soap and i do have extra bars of soap for it guess who comes and i have washcloths it has drastically improved so thank you for this show because now you're welcome i've learned i have not been cleaning myself properly my whole life the gloves does your skin feel softer oh my god so soft like and you do you do have to get new um new stuff and then there was like some stuff on tiktok about like oh my god it's like a netting material that like yeah yes so i haven't used that one yet

but yeah the gloves i now travel with gloves to wash myself like it now creeps me out to just use a bar of soap because i think this year you had said like you're just sliding it on your skin like you're not getting you're not scrubbing anything off and i was like she is correct that's what's happening yeah it's like dishes you don't just wash dishes with your hands you use a sponge although i've seen people do that too oh god wash dishes with their hands like wash the food debris off the plate and then put in the drying rack it was a man it was a white man of course of course it was a man men are a stain on this earth oh my god is that too much it's a that's pretty drastic is that too much i'm kidding i I love men.

Thank you for the follow-up on your cleanliness. Yes, Jordan. It was very exciting. I need everyone to know that I've learned from my poor... I think everyone's going to be excited about this. I think so, too. I do love in the original clip, you're like, I expect people to bring their own bars of soap. I've never heard of such a thing.

It was so funny. I think it was just more I was thinking like if you're traveling like why wouldn't you be bringing your own soap but like no I have like toothbrushes toothpaste bars so like I have so many things just and like my mom taught me well like anytime someone would come to the house like my mom always had a display of things if you forgot something but yeah I should have known better so shouldn't expect anyone to have anything that's so funny all right here is one this is a favorite uh call of mine i'm excited about this one okay i have a another very funny thing from best friends episodes which is nico is Nicole's eBay ad is so funny.

Every time I hear it, I laugh. When Nicole gets to the last lines of it, she's so exhausted, and it is so thrilling. It's just so funny. It's made me go on eBay. It works.

eBay, if you're hearing this, keep giving them money, because That's so funny. It's made me go on eBay. Like, it works. eBay. If you're hearing this, keep giving them money, because, like, that's the most effective ad I've ever heard in my life. Nicole's just, like, very exhausted saying Rolex, Gucci, Prada. Like, it's just so good. I don't remember this. I don't either. Wait, is this you reading an ad for the show I guess so

so this inspired me because I keep when you guys do cute things or send cute things with your ad reads I keep them for a moment like this so I made a little it's very dorky but I made a little mashup of favorite cute ad moments

okay guys that's cute a little dorky. It's very dorky, but I made a little mashup of favorite cute ad moments. Okay, guys. So, you know, give or take. But this is this is my love letter to you guys and your great ad rate. Oh, thank you, Kimmy. Oh, boy. Oh, I don't have my headphones on and I started recording. Can you even hear me? The mic's not even close to my mouth. Oh my God. I'm all, ugh. Hi, Kimmy. Hi, Jordan. Okay, look at me doing ads.

Cartier, Rolex, Gucci, Prada, Jordan, Adidas, Bottega Veneta. At eBay, it's real or it's getting the fake out. It's not a drink. It's a ba-da-ba out. It's not a drink. It's a bada bop bop bop McDonald's drink You absolutely have to do that Grab your tickets for July 16th. What? What is happening? The seltzers are great because it gives you an old school flashback

of good times where you're at the soda pop with your girl and you got two straws coming out of it. You're at the soda pop with your girl and you have the straws? These statements have not been These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I'm loving it.

I did it. I did the ads. Look at me. I'm amazing. She's a hero! Oh! Oh my god! Boy, Sashir, when you said you go to the soda pop

with your girl and get a straw, that's maybe the funniest thing I've ever heard in my whole life you go to soda pop down with your girl and get a straw i think i was trying to say shot and i still don't even know what that's in reference to i don't know what i don't know what it's in reference to either i don't know boy that was funny wait is that the ad is that how you how we did the ad where she said that or do we do it normal i think i left it in because it was so cute but the ad the ad was great um i also spent like 30 minutes looking for that because i remembered

it and i'm like we cannot i cannot do something without that oh my god that was so funny. God, it was so... With the girl and the two straws. Oh, boy, that made me laugh really hard. I can't believe I forgot about that. That really made me laugh. You say ba-da-ba-ba-ba with such emphasis. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba! Like a drum. And I do it in between words when you least expect it

I love McDonald's ad every time you say it it's like okay I'll get the chicken it feels like you're saying it at us like it's like a cat get that McChicken ollie ad is my other favorite where you start reading the fda like the like legal notice and i i couldn't find the one

where you read it like you were having an orgasm but all of you did it was so good oh my god you you know just gotta have fun while reading abs i'm glad people enjoy the ads too yeah should we do another another clip let's do it um here's a cute one with uh someone likes a cute moment with the two of you hi um i am calling to say what one of my favorite moments from the show has been. And I really liked the moment when Nicole and Fashir were talking about singing in harmony and Nicole was trying to understand the concept. And I really wish I could remember which episode it was because I just remember they were singing together. And Nicole was just struggling to understand what harmony was, even though she was doing a good job singing. So, yeah, that's all I really remember. Maybe I'll try to figure out which episode it is and then call back. Okay, bye. Yeah, she did say you did a good job.

And we can confirm right now that you did do a good job. Oh, no, I have to listen to myself sing. Hi, Nicole. Hi, Lucia. That's harmony. Who said? I said. Jordan's got to say it was harmony. Who said? I said. Do we have to leave it at third party?

Jordan's clapping. That's harmony. Yes. Yes. You harmony. The music expert thinks it's harmony. Thank you, Jordan. It was so beautiful.

Was it? Was it good? It was good. So I'm not tone deaf? Well, if you're asking, it seems like you are because I don't understand why you don't. You're like, that was good? It didn it seems like you are cuz I don't know why you don't you're like that was good it didn't sound good to you I don't know yeah maybe you're tone deaf yeah I heard harmony good

good I heard harmony I heard harmony I heard harmony I heard harmony I wonder why I said it like that I heard harmony

yeah I think when you first asked that question about harmony, I think we were singing in unison at one point, and you were like, harmony? And I was like, same note. It's really hard to understand what exactly harmony is. Sure, yeah. Yeah, it is. Singing's hard.

But it sounded good thank you listening back i was like oh it's not so bad yeah see i can sing i do have the definition of harmony but i don't think it's gonna help you let's hear it it is the combination of simultaneously sounded musical notes to produce chords and chord progressions having a pleasing effect yeah that didn't clear up anything for me it was nice to hear those words y'all are welcome. Thank you. Do we have time for another? One more? I was going to say, I've got one more, and then I have a sweet note from someone, so we can wrap on

that. Yeah. So, here we go. Hi, Nicole, Bashir, Kimmy on the Keys, and Jordan, I love your show. Heard you were doing maybe a commentary recap. My name is Sam. I decided

that the show Nicole looks on the riding alligator was my favorite hook, line, and sinker. The clip starts from 13, 14, 13 minutes, 14 seconds, and ends at 16 minutes, 52 seconds.

It starts with the sheer talking about Disney World, and it goes into this whole idiom, and then they're making this internal dialogue of panties and everything. And I was cry laughing in the car. I went home, listened to it again, cry laughed on the couch, made my wife listen to it probably more times than she wanted to, forgetting that

she had already heard it. But I love you guys. Thank you so much for the entertainment every week and have a great day. Bye. I don't know if I remember this. Nice. The internal monologue of panties. I don't think I remember it either. Okay, let's hear it. When I worked at Lane Bryant, a man used to call and go,

hello. I'd say, hi, this is Lane Bryant bryant and you go how big are the panties and say oh we have very big panties because it's a plus size store i was like i mean we go up to size 28 and he was like how big is a 28 and i was like it's a pretty large it's the largest size we have and he was like what size do you wear and i was like well not a 28 and he was like okay and then like that was it it. It was very weird. I just love thinking about big panties. I just love thinking about a big fat booty stuffed into a big panty.

Ooh, just the cheeks moving and rubbing in those big panties. Those panties are so wide. Oh, they're so just thick. They're stretched and elastic. The band is so thick. It's like a slingshot. Oh, yeah, I use it as a weapon.

Big old panties. If I leave it in the middle of the street, it covers one side. I can use it as a bed sheet. Oh, yeah, so big. Cover my body. Good night with these panties. Good night with these panties. Gail, if you're listening, please come on down to Earwolf.

Come on down to Earwolf. There's valet. You don't have to park your own car. They have a panty story. Yes, because the intro to Gail's old radio show was, I was at Oprah's house and there was a thunderstorm and I couldn't go home. And Oprah said, why don't you stay here? And I said, but I don't have any panties.

And Oprah said, you could wear mine, which is so funny that they thought that was a relatable best friend story because I have never worn your panties. And I've never worn your panties. No, I don't even know in what context that would happen. I'd also be like, girl, just sleep here. Like, you don't have to, you really need panties to sleep?

Well, sometimes my little snatch gets all, gets all rubbed raw. Gotta cover it up. It's all rubbed raw. I gotta cover it up. The sheets be tearing up my pussy. So I gotta protect it with some underwear. Not the ones I wore today. A brand new pair out of a drawer.

When I go to sleep, I sleep hump everything. And the panties are a good guard to make sure that I don't get too raw. So I gotta have them. Isn't that disgusting? Raw. Raw. That's funny. I didn't remember that at all. I didn't either. God, that's so funny.

Oh. Is that anything about someone sleep humping? just like in your sleep just humping things and being like i don't know why it hurts so much in my pussy well girl i caught you sleep humping i woke up and my my pussy was dry and raw as a bone. All the birds are slimy and slick. Ew. I don't know what happened. I think you gotta go to a doctor. You're leaving slime everywhere and it's not

cresting up. There's something going on in you. I think you're a ninja turtle. You don't leave a trail of slime behind you like a snail? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh. Ew. turtle you don't leave a trail of slime behind you like a snail little snail trail that's nasty that's fun what's the nice note that we got here is um a message from a reader that i thought was really really meaningful and sweet about how this show changed her life. Oh, hello. For the 200th episode celebration, I wanted to let you all know that you may have literally saved my life by making this podcast.

Last year, I suddenly started to get migraines for the first time and had a bunch of intense symptoms with them, like waves of depression, self-sabotage, fatigue, etc. I felt like I was losing more and more of myself with each headache. I went to a neurologist and even got an MRI, but the scan was clear and nothing seemed to be wrong in my brain. I was told that I was probably one of those people who develops migraines in their late 20s and to start looking into long treatment. Then in January of this year, y'all released an episode where Nicole shared her experience with PMDD

and talked about her symptoms. They were all exactly what I have been experiencing since my headaches started. I did more research on PMDD and compared that info with the symptom journal I had started to track my headaches. Migraines synced up with my period and always started around the same time every month.

My theory is that PMDD was reducing the serotonin in my brain and low serotonin can cause the blood vessels in your brain to expand too much causing migraines. This meant that the migraines were just a symptom of a bigger issue, a hormonal imbalance. I took this data to my doctors and they agreed with my theory and ended up making a change to my birth control. I started to feel like myself again, literally in literally a week

and I've only gotten better since. I started to think what would have happened if I had followed through on an incorrect diagnosis and ended up on a treatment plan that didn't resolve the source of my issues. So thank you both for having that conversation on your show and for generally being so open about your experiences with your own bodies. There's so much shame and secrecy around medical info, especially hormonal info, that most people don't know conditions like PMDD exist and are so prevalent. You both changed the course of my future by having that conversation and saved me from months or years of further suffering. I know this email is pretty long, but there's zero pressure to read it on the show. Just know that you showing up as yourselves

and sharing your stories really does make the world a better place. Congrats on 200th episode. That's so nice. That is nice. Yeah, I mean, I don't think I've updated anyone on my PMDD, but it's gotten better since I'm on birth control.

Ooh, nice. I have this little rod in my arm uh and i haven't had such huge swings and like when i swing low i kind of feel it and i go oh okay i'm like in a little bit of a low right now so maybe i should like reach out to someone or sleep that take like i'm busy and sometimes my lows happen and my body is like just rest for a little bit. But yeah, ever since I got this birth control, like, oh, baby, she doesn't swing as high and as hard. And it's nice. Oh, I'm so glad.

Yeah. Because no one's period should be like heavy and no one should be like that fucking moody that like people are like are you okay yeah usually it's like an imbalance or something and then next i need to get a transvaginal scan because black women have fibroids more than other women or people with uteruses i believe it um so i need to my uh I have a friend who has fibroids and I was like, I should get checked out for that too. Taking care of business. That's what was making me bleed a bunch was the fibroids. And it's crazy that they don't do transvaginal scans as like.

As part of the wellness check. Yeah. It's kind of wild. It should be included. Yeah. That's a good point. I didn't wellness check. Yeah. It's kind of wild. It should be included. Yeah. That's a good point. I didn't even know. Yeah.

They found my fibroid when I got an ultrasound to look for my IUD. But I don't know if they would have found it otherwise. I don't think so. I think the transvaginal scans is what we need to be doing every year. Mm-hmm. I'm'm gonna get mine soon. Well, that's so nice. This podcast has changed my life, too. It changed my life as well.

Yeah. And I like doing it. I like doing it. Honestly, when we started it, I was like, are we really going to have anything to talk about? Like every episode? Oh, my God. I know we like giggling with each other, but was like, are we really going to have anything to talk about like every episode? Oh my God. I know we like giggling with each other, but like, how can we fill an hour of time every week? And here we are

four years later. We do it. And I have fun doing it. Yeah. Yeah, I'll speak and say Jordan and I get to be fun little audience surrogates and in that role, I just know the show is really really meaningful to people i hear about it regularly through social media and personally it's been a real joy to work with you guys and make the show as fans of you before and

i'm still fans of you but now i'm also fans of you as humans not as just artists so this has been real lovely that's so nice thank you i feel the same as kimmy it it brings me a lot of joy when we can like do our live shows so we see each other we give each other hugs and then the show is like i'll just like cackle from wherever i am engineering um but no i want to say a personal thank you because you guys do just like the person emailing you guys talk about a lot of the serious things and you're open about things i've been very open about things i've had a total stranger ask me if i was a dildo girl and i was like what's happening and it turned out when i talked about a dildo on the podcast and i was like i guess that's my new nickname

no i'd like i don't know if i mentioned this with with on the podcast before, but one of my best friends went through a really tough year and lost her mom. And there was moments in our podcast where people had written in about their friends and losing their loved ones. And you guys gave really, really great advice that helped me out in my own personal life. So I appreciate you guys. I love you guys. I'm so honored to be working on the show

and doing silly little engineering music tricks to make people laugh. So it brings me a lot of joy. And I love you guys so much. Oh my God. We love you guys. I mean, I hate you. I don't like you.

Is this an April Fool's joke? I'd be so sad if it were it is definitely not I love you guys very much yeah we're so blessed to have you guys on the show with us like you help it immensely like all the work you put into it

you make it sound so beautiful I love thank you Kimmy for researching things by the minute as we bring things up like apropos of nothing i mean yeah it's um this has been a really fun ride and this is a really fun family to 200 more yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah, yeah. Four more years. Four more years. Well, if you... No. No. You do it. You can.

No, you do it. If you have anything, just anything you want to say to us. Any old thing. Any old thing. If you want to call Jordan a dildo girl, if you want to ask us any questions, you can email nicoleandsashira at gmail.com or call, text or leave a voice message at 424-645-7003.

And if you're going to call Jordan a dildo girl, we got to know if you're a dildo girl, dildo boy, dildo, dildo, dildo, dildo, dildo, dildo person. dildo? I'm saying it so strange. Or a dildo person. But listen, we have merch, not dildos, and not dildos.com slash best friends. Should we get a line of dildos? Not now. Maybe.

We also have transcripts for our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at Earwolf.com. Lastly, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. That is the easiest way to support this show. Yay! Happy 200th.

Yay! Happy 200th to you, my dear. And a happy new year. Happy new Year!