Betrayal Weekly - April | Betrayal Weekly

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

After twenty years of marriage, April thought she’d seen every side of Joe. She never imagined the one that put him behind bars. ​​ PERPETRATOR DISCLOSURE: This episode discusses crimes committed by Richard Joseph Banks Jr in San Diego, California.   If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you are not alone. RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline offers free, confidential, 24/7 support in English and en Español.  Call (800) 656-HOPE (4673) or Text HOPE to 64673.   If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at [e-mail] and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod   To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. What's up, everyone? I'm Ego Vodam. My next guest, it's Will Ferrell. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. My dad gave me the best advice ever. He goes, just give it a shot.

But if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know, The cat, just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Listen to Thanks, Dad, on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live. with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program.

Listen to a slight change of plans on the I-HeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. It's Financial Literacy Month, and the podcast Eating While Broke is bringing real conversations about money, growth, and building your future. This month, hear from top streamer, Zoe Spencer, and venture capitalist Lakeisha Landrum-Pierre, as they share their journeys from starting out to leveling up. There's an economic component to communities thriving.

If there's not enough money and entrepreneurship happening in communities, they fail. Listen to Eating While Broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista aliche to talk about what it really takes

to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here? We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth starting with the mindset shifts too many of us were never, ever taught.

If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to money and wealth with John Hope. Brian from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. We pull out of our house. We get about two blocks from the old house. And he looks at me and he says, I think I'm getting ready to be arrested.

Within seconds of that coming out of his mouth, the squad car lit us up and pulled us. over. I'm Andre Gunning and this is betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything. Today, we're sharing April's story. Growing up in San Diego, April was extremely close to her parents. She'd been adopted by them when she was six weeks old. Her dad was her best friend. I was definitely a tomboy growing up and so my joke had always been that I was the son my dad never had. I know how to change a spark plug on my car. I was a and all of the things within the engine. They had a typical middle class of urban life.

Religion and faith were the foundation of their family. I was born and raised in the church. I grew up with Christian values. Church gave April purpose and community. I have a fierce sense of wanting people to feel like they belong. Being adopted, you deal with trauma in the sense that you were almost rejected from birth. So I want people to know that they belong, that they have a place. The church also fed April's passion for music.

My mom got me into piano lessons at an early age, and so I always played at church. Her parents' marriage was her model of a healthy, happy relationship. Their love was a positive example of commitment. Even now, after 50-some-odd years, half the time they're acting like newlyweds. That's what I wanted. That was the vision of marriage.

Growing up, April knew she wanted a relationship like theirs. In high school, I had a boyfriend. And I was very much a one-person girl. So once I was with someone, that was it. Like, I had blinders on. They were my person. She also had a vision for her career. Her passion was music.

She wanted to play in Symphony Hall and, of course, church. I want to lead people in worship. I want to be in a big worship team. In January of 2003, April was accepted into the Hillsong Church's leadership school in Sydney, Australia. For April, it was a life-changing opportunity. My intention was to go to school in Australia, meet an Australian, marry him, and live in Sydney. That was my whole plan. That was my goal.

I was not looking to date anyone here. I had no intentions of even coming back to the country. She was looking forward to starting over and started preparing for her move to Australia. But one Wednesday night, April was setting up to lead worship when someone caught her eye. He was a good looking guy, tall, blonde, blue eyes. And I was like, who is this guy? Like, I'd never seen him before. Didn't know who he was.

It was uncommon for a stranger to be hanging out before service. He was chatting with a woman April had known for years. And so I walked down to just say hi to this lady. And she said, April, this is my son, Joe. So this was Joe. April had heard about him before, but she had pictured him differently. April knew his mom well. His mom had told April about how Joe got in trouble in Texas.

He'd gotten involved with a group of guys that were a bad influence on him. Joe had just moved to San Diego, hoping for a fresh start. He was coming out here to start over. I remember looking at him and shaking his hand and having the thought of, wow, he's got the most gentle eyes I've ever seen. It took me by surprise. She went about her business that evening, not thinking much of it. As she started Soundcheck that night, their sound engineer was nowhere to be found.

As the service grew closer, April started to panic. Next thing I know, I look in the back of the room at the sound booth and Joe's in the sound booth. And I look at my guitar player and I was like, what is he doing? My guitar player looks back there and he is like, oh, that's Joe, don't worry about it. He knows what he's doing. he helped build the sound system years ago. Joe saved the day.

It was just a welcome surprise. And after that point, Joe became our sound man. Once a month, the worship team would go out to dinner. Anytime that we would do that, he would make it a point to sit right next to me and talk with me. We talked a lot about God and our relationship with God. And we got to be good friends. As they got closer, it became clear that Joe was interested in a romantic

romantic relationship. He would say, hey, can we go grab a cup of coffee or a slice of pie? And my response was always like, no, I'm good. Like, we can go hang out with the worship team. Like, we can go to dinner with the team or with our friends. But I was dead set against doing any one-on-one dating with him. April did not want to complicate things with her team. Plus, she was planning to leave for Australia in a matter of months.

I knew that he had been previously married and had kids from his first marriage. Despite her rejections, Joe was persistent. When I was sick, he would just show up at my house with a bowl of soup and a get-well card. And as time went on, his gestures became more romantic. He would send me flowers for no reason. He would send little notes just to say hi, like a good morning, message. So I would wake up and there would be an email from him saying, good morning, beautiful. It made her feel special. But April was still planning to move to Australia for Hillsong.

The night before her flight, she had to record a tape of her vocal range. Joe offered to help make the recording. And so I ran through all my scales, ran through, you know, all sorts of different vocal exercises for him to record. Once they were done recording, April and Joe packed up their things and made their way to the parking lot. She would be gone for a year. It was hard to say goodbye. He and I were standing by the cars just chatting. And as we're talking, all of a sudden, I just kissed him.

Like, there was no thought to it. I just leaned in and kissed him. It was so out of character for April. She surprised herself. And I was just shaking. I was like, I'm so sorry. I don't even know why I did that. And then the next thing I know, he's kissing me.

It was one of those kisses that just kind of made your knees buckle. The kiss was electric, in part because they both knew April was about to leave the country. And then he was like, you okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm good. Like, we're good. And I said, I don't know what's going to happen because I am leaving. but we'll stay in touch. The next morning,

I got on a plane and went to Sydney. When she got there, she jumped right into school. Hillsong College is well known for their worship and vocational courses. For April, being there was a dream come true. They had this program where you would get all the music theory, learn about worship history, music history within the church itself, as well as leadership training. I loved every moment of it.

Lives, breathed, eight, school. April thought that when she arrived in Sydney, she'd forget about Joe. But she didn't. She found her thoughts drifting to him and what he was doing back in San Diego. He was working at 7-Eleven and using his money to get phone cards.

So every single day he was calling me. So we spent a lot of time on the phone, which forced us to really, learn how to communicate with each other. On those long phone calls, they learned a lot about each other. In many ways, they were opposites. I was always so serious. And he had the ability to really make me laugh and just enjoy the moment.

He made life fun. Joe helped her relax. For the whole year she was in Australia, their attraction evolved. The distance brought them even. closer. When April flew back to the States, Joe surprised her by picking her up at the airport. We're driving back, and he pulls off at this rest stop, and it's a beautiful overlook that overlooks the Pacific Ocean in San Diego. It was a beautiful day, like the sun was shining. He's standing behind me with his arms around me, and we're just talking. And he's pointing out into the water, and he was like,

can you see that boat out there? And I was like, no, I don't. I don't. see the boat. He's like, take a moment, close your eyes. And when you open your eyes, I want you to fixate on where my fingers are pointing. I'm like, okay, got it. And so I'm standing there with my eyes closed. And then he says, okay, open him. And when I do, his hand is in front of me with a ring box. And this beautiful marquee cut diamond ring is in the middle of it. April stared at Joe, dumbfounded. And he's like, would you marry me? And I said, yes. You know, I'm in love with this guy,

and he has spent so much time talking to me while I've been gone. And it just felt right. I was so happy. And I just, I had felt so safe and loved that it was like, yeah, this is my person. Because they had gotten to know each other from afar, their love story unfolded in a backwards way. After the proposal, we go on our first. first official date we went to finding Nemo.

Even though they didn't have a lot of money, they found ways to have dates and just enjoy each other's company. We would go for a walk on the beach or we would go someplace and just kind of sit and have coffee together. Anything that we could do cheaply, we would do, going and splitting a meal somewhere. We took opportunity to just try and spend time together when we could. It was just our own little world at the time. They met each other's families and talked about what they wanted for their future. Joe had three kids from his first marriage.

They lived with their mom out of state. Joe didn't want any more kids and April was on the same page. Kids were never something that I really thought about. What mattered more to April was how her parents saw Joe. Her mom embraced him right away, but her dad was reluctant.

My dad was a bit harder of a nut to crack. He was always suspicious of him. There were stories that Joe would tell, and my dad would just be like, something doesn't matter. There's two golden rules that any man should live by. Rule one, never mess with a country girl. You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes.

And rule two, never mess with her friends either. We always say that I trust. your girlfriends. I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of The Girlfriends, Oh my God, this is the same man. A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist. I felt like I got hit by a truck. I thought, how could this happen to me?

The cops didn't seem to care. So they take matters into their own hands. I said, oh, hell no. I vowed. I will be his last target. He's going to get what he deserves. Listen to the Girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

What's up, everyone? I'm Ago Wodom. My next guest, you know from Step Brothers Anchorman, Saturday Night Live and the Big Money Players Network. It's Will Ferrell. Woo, woo, woo, woo. My dad gave me the best advice ever. I went and had lunch with them one day, and I was like, and Dad, I think I want to really give this a shot. I don't know what that means, but I just know the groundlings.

I'm working my way up through and I know it's a place that come look for up and coming talent. He said, if it was based solely on talent, I wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet. Yeah. He goes, but there's so much luck involved. And he's like, just give it a shot. He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know,

The cat, just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Listen to Thanks, Dad, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program.

I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who. we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us Lyslikes. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, everyone. I'm Cheryl Stray, author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things. I'm excited to share

that I have a new podcast called Mind Over Mountain. In each episode, I interview athletes, adventures, and adrenaline seekers to discuss the inner landscapes and life experiences that informed and inspired their extraordinary feats. I also bring a bit of advice. into the mix so we too can better understand how to face our own seemingly insurmountable challenges. Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to pull out what you already have inside. We're coming into this world fighting for our lives. All I'm going to do is pull out what you already got inside. We're there to support and celebrate each other. And that's not like your story versus my story. You're going to walk up and over that dang mountain. You're not just going to put your

mind over it. Yep. Yep. Exactly. And if I can't walk up and over it, I'm going to go through it. Listen to Mind Over Mountain every Thursday on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. After dating long distance between California and Australia, April and Joe got engaged. They were thrilled. But April's dad had some reservations about Joe. He gave him a pass because his daughter loved him. And in May of 2004, April and Joe got married. I didn't want anything elaborate.

I just wanted a simple wedding. And we had the wedding at a local hotel that had just opened up their wedding garden. Our friends and family were there. It was beautiful. They wrote their own vows. It wasn't the typical, you know, I'm going to love honor and obey you. It was, I want to support who you are as a person and who God has created you to be. After the wedding, the couple moved into their first apartment.

It was the first time April lived with a partner. In fact, it was a time of a lot of firsts. I'd never been with a man, period. Like, I'd never had sex until him. So he was my first. So there was a little bit of, am I doing things right? Am I pleasing him? Am I making him happy?

I can remember the first year I would wake up in the middle of the night and almost freak out because there was a boy in my bed. After 30 years of being independent, it was a big adjustment to live with a man. April quickly realized, I'm doing all the dishes. I'm doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking the trash out. She also noticed a pattern.

Whenever she confronted Joe, he would step up for a couple of weeks. He would take the trash out without me asking. He would clean up his own dishes. And then it would slowly slip back into me taking care of it. everything again. It was disappointing, but Joe was still the same guy she'd fallen in love with. He always took time to make her feel seen.

He was still bringing me flowers just because if I had a rough day, we would go grab a pizza from the pizza place on the corner. Just little things that it was like, okay, it's still very thoughtful. And yeah, we've got this tension of undoing everything, but he's, still taking care of me. Eventually, the couple both found jobs at a local ministry. Joe worked in their video department. He was editing videos and getting everything ready to go on to actual TV.

I worked in the prayer center, and it was where people could call in that needed prayer, and they could get a hold of a live person that would take time to sit and listen to them and just pray with them and talk with them. In 2009, five years into their marriage, Joe got a call from his first wife. She needed support with the kids, and she asked if Joe's teenage son could come live with them. April agreed.

She welcomed him into their home and into their family. He was a great kid. He really wasn't any trouble, and he lived with us through his entire high school years, and played football for the school. the high school and all that. The kid was tender-hearted. He just wanted to do right.

It was a really successful arrangement. A few years later, Joe's daughter came to stay with them as well. However, it was a lot more challenging. Joe's daughter was going through a difficult time. And Joe was too. He had been through bouts of unemployment before, but it was while she was here that he went through the longest period of unemployment of about two years. And so during that time, I'm the sole breadwinner.

Joe began to drink, and his drinking was escalating. It was too much pressure on April to support the whole family. I told him that, you know, I was done. I couldn't do this anymore. They weren't able to provide Joe's daughter with the support she needed, so she went home to Texas. Joe was upset. He felt like he failed his daughter,

and in the process, lost her too. To cope, Joe threw himself into his job, working for their church where he was running sound and helping them upgrade their audio-visual capabilities. Their church wanted to start live-streaming their service, so members of the congregation could watch from home. He was trying to help our church get up on live-streaming. So he would log on to this website

that had all these various different live streams. On these live streaming sites, Joe would sometimes help other church members troubleshoot any technical difficulties. I would notice that every once in a while, he would be chatting with young girls, not necessarily teenage girls, but maybe early 20s. And I would ask him, what are you doing?

He's like, oh, I'm trying to help them get their streaming correct because their cameras fuzzy. He could make it sound so logical. and so reasonable. It seemed a little odd to April, but she believed Joe. He had always been one to help out the kids at church, and he took a special interest in mentoring youth. At our church, we had had a couple of guys come in at one point

that were following some of the young girls around the church. And Joe, he was the one that clocked it, and went in to leadership and was like, these guys need to go. What they're doing is sketchy. He'd always been that guy, protective of girls, protective of youth.

April was proud of how Joe stood up for their young church members. Years passed, and April and Joe's relationship steadied. They were involved in church together. They kept watching their favorite sports teams and hung out with friends. The world they built together felt comfortable and grounding. Eventually, April and Joe felt like they needed something to break up their usual routine.

They wanted to give back to their community and spend time outdoors together. So they decided to volunteer at a horse rescue near their house. They each took on regular chores at the barn. He was feeding the horses in the early mornings or in the evenings, and I was involved in helping with some of the training. This was just a real, place of bliss for me. And for him having grown up in the country in Texas, he was loving it because it just felt like he'd found home as well. They started getting to know the community at the

horse rescue, including a woman and her teenage daughter that lived on the property. The daughter would end up feeding on weekends by herself at night. And they'd had a couple of instances of people trespassing at night that were kind of scary. And so Joe volunteered to feed with her. She was about the same age as his daughter. April suspected Joe was projecting some of his concern for his own daughter onto this girl at the barn. And then there was one day where she needed to go pick up a piece of equipment that her

dad was giving her. So Joe offered to take her and one of her girlfriends to go to her dads and haul it back. They left early in the morning and I spent the day there on the ranch. April was taking a break from Barn Chores when she saw one of the two teenage girls wandering up towards the stable. I was like, oh, hey, you're back. And she was like, what do you mean? I said, oh, well, didn't you go with Joe and the other girl? and she was like, no, they left before I even got here.

It made April uncomfortable that Joe was alone with a teenage girl. I tried calling him multiple times. He never answered. It was getting to be about 6 o'clock in the evening and just him and the girl pull up. I take one look at him and I'm just livid. Like, I'm so angry. But Joe seemed completely unbothered. He walked up to the barn like nothing happened.

I grab him and I pull him to the side. I'm like, what is wrong with you? He's like, what do you mean? And I said, do you have any idea? You've just spent all day with a teenage girl alone in a vehicle. April made it known. Joe had broken an unspoken rule. All the volunteers saw Joe pulling up with this teenage girl in his car.

The girl's mom agreed. Her mom put her foot down and was like, You can no longer spend time with my daughter. Joe was hurt by this. He felt like he was being judged. He was emotionally upset about not being able to spend time with her. I rationalized it is that he took this other girl and put her in the place of his daughter. So it was like he was losing his daughter all over again.

Around this time, their church. moved into a new space and downsized their staff. Joe lost his job. He was really struggling. After searching for a while, he landed a job, working for a doctor who had a medical TV show on a local network. I had seen that show and I was like, oh yeah, I know who that doctor is. That's pretty cool. On the morning of Joe's first day, the couple got ready for work together. We both got in our cars. He was behind me. I went one way and he should have turned left at the next light. And I watched him turn right at the next light instead of left.

April had a sinking feeling. So I asked him about it when I got home. I said, hey, I saw you turn back towards the house. And he was like, oh, yeah, I forgot something. So I had to go back home and get it. But April was skeptical. Mm-mm. Nope, something's not right. For a week, he did this. He got up, got dressed, left with me, and went right back home.

April was convinced that Joe's new job was completely fake. Sure enough, within a week, he's telling me that the doctor's son was going to take his job, and so he didn't have a job again. It was unsettling. Now, April was on guard, trying to discern if Joe was telling the truth. It was starting to affect her sense of certainty and trust. She could make me feel like I was going insane. I legitimately had moments where I was like, am I losing my mind?

He would tell me that I didn't say things that I knew for a fact I said, but then he had me second-guessing myself. Because it was like, well, did I say that? Maybe I didn't say that. April knew that she shouldn't feel this way, but being honest about her concerns felt like poking a sleeping beast. I didn't know how to deal with the confrontation that would come from it. And I was afraid. I was afraid of what would come out.

I didn't know how else to move forward other than to just bury it and move on. April was fighting to regain a sense of stability in their relationship. Top of the list was getting Joe a new job. And April had an idea. I kept seeing these ads for driving instructors. And I used to joke with him that I never wanted to drive with him because he always told me what I was doing wrong. And so I was like, you should check that out.

You love driving and you do love teaching. Joe took her advice and reached out to the driving school. He went through their training program with the owner. You have to do so many hours of in-car training with another instructor, background check. And so he started teaching kids how to drive cars. And he loved it. And April was finding her stride at work too. Around the same time that he got his job, I started working for my dream company.

I'm an executive business partner and an executive assistant. It's almost more of a chief of staff type role. You know, so it was like it felt like things were finally turning around. I was making good money. He was making good money. He had a steady job. He had found something that he absolutely was loving. He would come home at night just lit up, like so excited to talk about who he had taught

and what he had taught and watching the light bulb of understanding go off with these kids. It just felt like we had finally. finally reached a point where it was like, maybe we're going to be okay. I felt like I could suddenly start breathing. I didn't realize that I had been living, holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. One day, April headed into the office early to prepare for an event with her company's CEO. And as I'm pulling into our parking garage at the office, I get a range. alert on my phone from our doorbell camera.

And I was like, well, that's weird. So I pull up the camera and I see about six police officers at my front door. I completely freak out because it's like what is happening. She immediately called Joe. It rang and rang and rang and then it went to voicemail. And I don't know what to do. I just kept trying to call him over and over. again.

Stunned, April began to drive home to figure out what was going on. He finally calls me and tells me that police officers and two detectives showed up with a search warrant and they were taking all of the electronics, the computers, iPads, Apple Watch. They took his work vehicle. They were seizing all of it. Joe told April to wait to come home because he didn't want her car to get seized too. So April pulled over at a nearby coffee shop and waited. Finally, Joe called her and said it was okay for her to come home.

But home was far from a comforting sight. The house is just trashed. Everything is pulled out from the bookshelves. Tables are moved into the middle of the room. Laundry baskets are upended onto the bed. everything is just torn apart. In the middle of their upended home, stood Joe. He's very calm, and I asked him, I was like,

did they tell you what is this about? And he was like, no, they didn't tell me anything. They just said that they had a search warrant, but the search warrant doesn't say what the allegations are. It doesn't say anything. April's mind was spinning, trying to make sense of the unsettling scene she found herself in.

Logically, I'm thinking, okay, they took his work vehicle. So I told them, I said, obviously it has to do with your job. They took your car. So can you think of anything that you might have done? Because sometimes he would come home and say, yeah, one of my students, just she totally had an anxiety attack and like broke down crying in the car kind of thing. Like, did you maybe hug one of your students because, you know, they were upset? And he was like, no, no, nothing.

I can't think of anything. But the fallout was immediate. He gets put on administrative leave from the company. April and Joe were desperate to understand what the police were doing at their house. We made the decision to hire a pretrial attorney to see if we could get any information on what the allegations were or what we could do. In the weeks that followed, April kept pressing Joe. Surely he had to have some inkling of what was going on. I was constantly asking him, is there anything?

Can you think of anything? But every time, the answer was no. And April wanted to believe him. Everything had been going well since Joe started his job as a driving instructor. He had never once indicated that there was anything on his job that was of concern. He had never told me anything other than that he was referred all the time. time to other students. April was out of ideas.

All she could do was wait for answers. In the meantime, April and Joe decided to move. Their house had started feeling too small. So we started looking for houses, and I found one about three miles north of where we had been living that I just fell in love with. So we signed a lease. Slowly they started moving boxes to their new house. and they ordered new furniture too.

This place would be a fresh start. It was January 11th. He was driving me to work. We pull out of our house. We get about two blocks from the old house. And he looks at me and he says, I think I'm getting ready to be arrested. April snapped around to face him.

I was like, why would you say that? And he goes, well, when we pulled out from the house, two vehicles pulled in behind us, and then a marked police vehicle pulled in behind those two cars. Within seconds of that coming out of his mouth, the squad car lit us up and pulled us over. April was frantic, but oddly, Joe wasn't. It seemed like he knew this moment would come.

he just very calmly handed me his cell phone, put his hands on the steering wheel, turned the car off, and a uniformed officer comes up to the driver's side door, tells him to unlock the door. He gets out of the car and I'm just sitting there very quietly freaking out. I still have no idea what is going on. Finally, two detectives came to the passenger side door where April sat. One of them leaned over to talk with her. That's when she proceeds to tell me they have been investigating him for child molestation. He is going to be charged with 32 counts and that it is 11 girls, 10 of which are under the age of 18.

There's two golden rules. that any man should live by. Rule one, never mess with a country girl. You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes. And rule two, never mess with her friends either. We always say that trust your girlfriends. I'm Anna Sinfield, and in this new season of the girlfriends... Oh my God, this is the same man.

A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist. I felt like I got hit by a truck. I thought, how could this happen to me? The cops didn't seem to care. So they take matters into their own hands. I said, oh, hell no. I vowed. I will be his last target.

He's going to get what he deserves. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Ago Vodam. My next guest, you know from Stepbrothers Anchorman, Saturday Night Live, and the Big Money Players Network.

It's Will Farrell My dad gave me the best advice ever I went and had lunch with him one day And I was like And dad I think I want to really give this a shot I don't know what that means But I just know the groundlings I'm working my way up through

And I know it's a place they come Look for up and coming talent He said if it was based solely on talent I wouldn't worry about you Which is really sweet Yeah He goes but there's so much luck involved And he's like

Just give it a shot He goes but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat, just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Yeah. Listen to Thanks Dad on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance.

And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change.

We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, Ernest, what's up? Look, money is something we all deal with. But financial literacy is what helps turn income into real wealth. On each episode of the podcast, Earn Your Leisure, we break down the comments. conversations you need to understand money, investing, and entrepreneurship. From stocks and real estate to credit, business, and generational wealth, we translate complex

financial topics into real conversations everyone can understand. Because the truth is, most people will never taught how money really works. But once you understand the system, you can start to build within it. That means ownership, smarter investing, and creating opportunities not just for yourself, but for the next generation. If you want to learn how to build wealth, understand the markets, and think like an owner, earn your leisure is the podcast for you. Listen to Earn Your Leisure on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

One day, when Joe was driving April to work, he turned to her and calmly told her that he was about to be arrested. Moments later, the cops pulled them over and took him out of the car, leaving April alone in the passenger seat, terrified and confused. Finally, a detective told April what her husband was being arrested for. They have been investigating him for child molestation. He is going to be charged with 32 counts and that it is 11 girls, 10 of which are under the age of 18. I just went numb. My entire system went into shock. April didn't want to believe the detectives were.

She had long ago come to terms with her husband's flaws, but she never imagined him to be a dangerous person. My head, I was like, he might be a liar, he might be a lousy husband, he might be lazy, he might be all these things. He's not a child predator. But then the detective explained to April what they found. When they took his vehicle, hidden underneath the steering column, They found a small camera that would allow him to video and take pictures of girls and their private areas and that they have proof of it on his computer.

The evidence was irrefutable, and there was a lot of it. Then the detective began to ask April questions. She was like, did you ever purchase a camera for the car? And I said, yeah, we did. And she goes, what did he tell you about that camera? And I said just that he wanted to have a camera in the vehicle to protect not only himself, but to protect the people that he was teaching to drive. When Joe said he was using that camera for safety, April believed him.

But in reality, the camera was part of Joe's twisted crimes. He'd been sexually abusing young girls who were his driving students. He did it while they were driving. His driver's ed car was a trap. For the girls defending themselves, even just taking their hands off the wheel, could mean risking their life. On top of that, Joe videotaped the attacks

and saved those videos to his personal devices so he could re-watch them. Once one girl came forward, it was like a damn broke. April was in shock and the detective could see that. She told April that, she would follow up with her in a few days' time. The police drove away with Joe in the backseat.

April sat in her car, the silence ringing in her ears. She didn't want to be alone with her thoughts, so she started making calls. I made a phone call to the attorney, told them what happened. I tried calling my dad, tried calling my parents, and they weren't awake yet. then I call a friend of mine

and I'm like, I need you and your husband to come help me because I don't know what to do and I need somebody here that can think because I can't think right now. So they met me at the new house and I felt like I was spending the day just in limbo. I'm waiting to hear anything from Joe or the attorney.

I'm waiting to hear from my pastor. I'm just waiting. She didn't know what she should do next. It was like everything in my life just exploded all at once. I was scrambling to try and grab any pieces that I could hold on to to just try and make sense of what was happening. But there was nothing to grab a hold of. Finally, her pastor called her back.

He's like, April, why did I just get a phone call from a reporter? They're asking me about Joe. Joe's arrest was all over the news. Within four hours, the San Diego Police Department did a press release, where they put his name out there. They elisted every single charge, everything from harassment of a minor to sexual assault. And it went across the news nationwide. His brother, who lives in Texas, heard about it before I could even call him. April's phone was ringing all day, and one of those calls was from Joe in jail.

In that phone call, he was just very calm. There was no emotion. He was just like, they've charged me as a child molester. It was just almost very matter of fact. April knew the facts of the case. She decided to give him one chance to be honest with her. I asked him, is any of this true? And he's like, no, no.

None of it is true. I'm like, Joe, it's 11 girls. He's like, I know, but, you know, no, it's not true. She knew he was lying. That Tuesday was Joe's arraignment. April decided to go. It would be hard to see him, but she needed to see what he had done. And she wanted to know what was going to happen to him.

When I went into the courtroom, I had to go and give them my name and who I was there for in my relationship to the person that I was there for. So I told them, I said, here's my name. I'm here for Richard Joseph Banks. I'm his spouse. And then the woman that was right behind me, she gave her name. She looked at me. I looked at her and she said, I'm here for Richard Joe Banks.

I'm the mother of one of his and she stopped. She looked at me again. And I said, victims. And she goes, victims. I looked at her and I just started. started crying and I said, I am so sorry. I had no idea that any of this was happening. I didn't know.

And I'm so sorry for the damage. And she came over to me and she just hugged me. And she said, I know and it's going to be okay. We both just stood there hugging each other and just sobbing. Then the arraignment got underway. The DA stands up and she talks through how many charges there are. And then he goes through every single one of the girls. Basically, he doesn't name any of them.

He just uses their initials. But he's like, you will not speak, contact, see each of the girls. I asked is that understood. He says, yes, sir, I understand. And that was the one. and only time that I went to court for him. Because after that, it was like, I'm done. I'm done.

April focused her energy on moving into her house. And suddenly, the fact that Joe had never called this place home felt like a breath of fresh air. I spent the rest of that week getting everything set up in my new house with all new furniture that he's never sat on, never touched, never slept in. But she still had all of Joe's belongings. I remembered that I still had his cell phone. And I was like, I wonder if there's anything here that I need to see.

So I started looking through it and came across a folder that was the same name as the video camera that we had purchased for his work vehicle. So I pulled up those files and I started looking through them. And sure enough, there's pictures of him. touching girls. I just got sick. And I threw the phone. I had now officially seen for myself what he had done. And I just, I, like, I just was sick.

I was sick. The next day, April had dinner with her parents and told them that her marriage with Joe was over. My dad, he looks at me, he goes, I want to be clear, you're getting a divorce. And I said, yes, I am getting a divorce. Both my mom and dad were so relieved because they had spent years loving Joe and really taking him under their wing and treating him like family. But for both of them, there had always been this underlying mistrust that I never knew about. I never knew they had that.

As she disentangled herself from Joe, more and more lies began to be. to emerge. April and Joe had been planning to take a cruise to celebrate their 20th anniversary. She'd been giving him money every month out of her paycheck, and he was putting it towards the cruise. But after the arrest? I went to cancel our 20th anniversary cruise. He had told me he had put close to $3,000 down. So I'm expecting to get some of that back, but he had only put $200 down. So what was he doing with that money from April's paychecks? She isn't sure. But in the course of his sentencing, she found out he was giving money to the girls he sexually abused.

He was paying students or students' families when a student would pass their driver's test. It was presented as a congratulatory gift. And some of the girls that he was giving money to were ones that he was giving money to were ones that he violated. But I personally think that he was using it in some way as a bribe to keep them quiet. In the end, Joe pled guilty in exchange for a lighter sentence. He received five years in state prison. Once he was sent away, April made one final appointment to speak with Joe face to face. I knew it was going to be the last time that I would see him. So I went to the prison. sat down across from him

and I looked at him and I said, do you understand what you've done? Joe stared blankly back at her. He just very calmly and quizzically looked at me. He said, but why would they continue to refer me? And my jaw just dropped. It was like, so that made it okay? Because you were still being referred,

you were probably being referred by their parents who had no idea that you were doing this to them. Joe had no remorse. He spoke about his crimes like he was discussing the weather. That's when I realized there was something seriously disconnected, something seriously wrong with him, because what he did was absolutely horrific. And there's nothing.

that indicates that he understands or is remorseful or has any ounce of understanding of what he has done. April's community rallied around her. I had a friend stay with me for about three months during that time, just so I wasn't alone. I've got some incredible friends that I've made over the years that I didn't realize how incredible they were until this. She had a great support system, but there was a lot of internal work she had to face on her own.

During that time, I'm going through a lot of therapy. I was seeing a therapist at the time about three times a week. I needed to talk to somebody that wasn't emotionally connected to any of it. Slowly, she began to unpack the emotions she had been carrying. There was so much grieving happening, grieving the life that I thought I had, grieving the marriage that I wish I had had, grieving the marriage I did have. But underneath the grief was something else.

So much anger. Anger for how I was treated. Still to this day, I get so angry because I feel like his victims deserve so much more than what they're getting. So much more. He took a plea deal and the judge gave him five years with time served.

Like, it's not fair. It's not fair to the girls. They deserve so much more than that. Because they were minors, the full names of Joe's victims weren't released. This was to protect the girl's privacy. While she has never met them personally, April thinks of them often.

I don't know who his victims are, but if for some reason any of them ever listen, I would say that I'm so, sorry. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. If I had known, I would have done everything within my power to stop it. Since his arrest, the number of known victims has risen to 18. Joe could be out of prison as soon as spring of 2026, but he'll never have a place in April's world again. I have no need to see him. I don't talk to him. I have nothing to do. I have nothing to do with him at this point.

April has been busy building a life that brings her joy. It's just me and my dog and my cat. I'm loving, living by myself. My home is my sanctuary now. I'm rediscovering reading. I'm getting to explore new foods. I've gotten to travel quite a bit because there are places that I've always wanted to go to and he never did. I'm finding a whole new sense of freedom.

What April endured with Joe has forced her to reckon with what it means to truly know someone. We end every weekly episode with the same question. Why do you want to share your story? I wanted to talk about it because finding this podcast was a huge part of what helped me. To hear experiences that so closely mirror your own. There's something different about that. I suddenly realized that I wasn't alone. Some people have the uncanny ability to hide the deepest, darkest parts of themselves

from those that are closest to them and sometimes maybe even from themselves. There's no way to ever really truly know a person. And I just have to resign myself to the fact that this was a part of him, that he was never going to allow anyone. to see until it was too late. On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly. I'm in shock and disbelief, like just nauseatingly sick. The reality, I guess, is slowly sinking in that my life is all a lie.

He's in the kitchen, going to the coffee machine to make himself an espresso, and he literally looks at me and shrugs and he's like, so? If you would like to reach out to the betrayal team or want to tell us your betrayal story, email us at Betrayalpod at Gmail.com. That's Betrayal P-O-D at Gmail.com. Or follow us on Instagram at BetrayalPod. You can also connect with me on Instagram at It's Andre Gunning. To access our newsletter, view additional content, and connect with the betrayal community,

join our substack at Betrayal.substack.com. We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review betrayal. Five-star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group

and partnership with IHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fasin. Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. This episode was written and produced by Olivia Hewitt and Monique Laborde with additional production from Ben Federman. Casting support from Curry Richmond,

Our I-Hart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Kreincheck. Audio editing and mixing by Matt Dalvecchio. Additional audio editing by Tanner Robbins. Betrayals theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided by Mib Music. And for more podcasts from IHart, visit the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone, I'm Ago Vodom.

My next guest, it's Will Ferrell. Woo, woo, woo, woo. My dad gave me the best. advice ever. He goes, just give it a shot. But if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat. Just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right. It wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Listen to thanks dad on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own purpose. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's Financial Literacy Month, and the podcast, Eating While Broke, is bringing real conversations about money, growth, and building your future.

This month, hear from top streamer, Zoe Spencer, and venture capitalist Lakeisha Landrum Pierre, as they share their journeys from starting out to leveling up. There's an economic component to community striving. If there's not enough money, and entrepreneurship happening in communities, they failed. Listen to Eating While Broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John Hobriant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money.

What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here? We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught. If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to Money and Wealth with John Hope Bryant

from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast, guaranteed human.