Betrayal Weekly - Shock to the Conscience | EP 4 | Karoline's Story

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

Internal Affairs investigators question Joel on allegations of misconduct. Will he tell the truth?  If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at betrayalpod@gmail.com&nbs...p;and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod. To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com. You can listen new episodes of Betrayal Season 4 completely ad-free and 1 week early with an iHeart True Crime+ subscription, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong,
Starting point is 00:00:30 dance. And then there's your body having its own program. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, listeners. I'm Jamal Jordan, the host of Roershack, Murder at City Hall podcast. In July 2003, Councilman James E. Davis, an ambitious rising star in Brooklyn politics, was murdered inside New York City Hall, shot to death in front of more than 200 people. The killer?
Starting point is 00:01:07 His political opponent, a man named Neil Askew. The full story of this shocking public murder and the relationship between these two men has not yet been told. Until now. I want to let you know that you can get access to all episodes of Rochak murder at City Hall 100% ad-free
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Starting point is 00:01:50 Hi, listeners, I'm Anna Sinfield, host of The Girlfriends, Trust Me, Babe. I'm excited to share the Girlfriends, Trust Me Babe, story with you, and I want to let you know that you can get access to all episodes of season one, two, three and four of The Girlfriends, and every single episode of The Girlfriends Trust Me, Babe, 100% ad-free with an I-Heart True Crime Plus subscription, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Plus, you'll get access to all episodes of The Girlfriends Trust Me, Babe, one week ahead of everyone else.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Available only to IHeart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait, head to Apple Podcasts, search for IHeart, True Crime Plus and subscribe today. It's Financial Literacy Month, and the podcast, Eating While Broke, is bringing real conversations about money, growth, and building your future. This month, hear from top streamer,
Starting point is 00:02:44 Zoe Spencer, and venture capitalist Lakeisha Landrum Pierre, as they share their journeys from starting out to leveling up. There's an economic component to communities thriving. If there's not enough money and entrepreneurship happening in communities,
Starting point is 00:02:57 they failed. Listen to Eating While Broke from the Black Effect podcast network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, guys, before we get into the episode, a quick note, we're looking for new stories of betrayal for our weekly betrayal series, which returns in August. If you've experienced betrayal and feel ready to share your story, now is a great time to reach out. Email us at Betrayalpod at gmail.com. That's Betrayal P-O-D at Gmail.com.
Starting point is 00:03:28 She starts screaming and yelling at us, and we just got up and started to walk away. And then as we were walking out of their house, she's following behind us. And then she says, I'm going to ruin your fucking lies. I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal Season 4, Episode 4. Shock to the Conscience. In our last episode, we saw Joel Kern's double life, a side-by-side comparison of two different realities. But those two realities were on a collision course, because Joel's reckoning day at the Colorado Springs Police Department was rapidly approaching. This was the day he'd be forced to answer for his lies, and this time it wouldn't be Caroline who was left in disbelief.
Starting point is 00:04:38 It would be Joel's co-workers, officers he'd worked closely with for over two decades, men he graduated from the police academy with. men who'd been close friends and mentors. In March 2022, Joel was under investigation at the CSPD because a couple came in to file a complaint against him. The wife confessed to having sex with Joel in his police car. She was making amends for her actions, and part of that was alerting the department that one of their officers was up to no good.
Starting point is 00:05:14 So the department launched an internal investigation and dug into the claim. Then they called Joel in for his official interview with internal affairs. He was even able to bring an attorney. His future hinged on what happened in this meeting. We've got it all on tape, and we want you to hear it. Good to see you again. It's been a lot, huh?
Starting point is 00:05:40 Okay, Joel. You know on the form? You've been up here, so I'll let you read that. They start the interview by having Joel sign a garrar. advisory advisement. It's an acknowledgement that he's under investigation. It explains the process, and most importantly, it requires him to answer truthfully. After he signs this document, a lie could mean termination. Thank you, sir. Okay, all right, we'll get started.
Starting point is 00:06:07 It's Lieutenant Raphael Chancellor with the Colorado Springs Police Department Internal Affairs Section. Today is Monday, March 21st, 2022. I'm interviewing Lieutenant Joel Kern in regards to Internal Affairs case 22-023. Also present are Lieutenant James Sokolick and Lieutenant Curran's attorney John Newsom. Joel, I know you were up here. So before going on the record, where you provided a type Garrity advisement? I was. Did you sign that voluntarily?
Starting point is 00:06:35 Yes. Do you have any questions regarding the Garrity advisement? No. Okay. Will you be answering all of our questions concerning this matter truthfully today? Yes. You may remember in episode two, Joel's boss, Commander Strassner reported a conversation he had with Joel, where Joel denied knowing the couple and was worried that someone was impersonating him, or filing a false complaint. Strasner believed him.
Starting point is 00:07:02 This is now under Garrity. This is your opportunity to just let us know what happened. I don't want you to feel tied to whatever you said to Strassner, anything that was said there. Is that good? bear I'll tell you exactly what I told him okay tell us why do you think those allegations against you were brought forward I don't know why specifically these allegations were made but I have some ideas I think maybe the the person's making allegations got in over their head or something and and I suspect that
Starting point is 00:07:44 catfished, me, and whatever communication they were having. But before they got into that, Chanza wanted to focus on the incident at Joel's house. The day a stranger showed up, accusing Joel of having sex with his wife and his police cruiser. That's my wife out there, the one that you fucked in your cruiser?
Starting point is 00:08:07 What are you talking about? Joel wasn't aware that the man had secretly recorded the entire encounter. And Joel didn't know that the man gave the recording to the CSPD. Chanza gave Joel an opportunity to recount what happened from his point of view. I was just in shock that someone was standing there saying this to me. So I said, I don't know who you are, but I'm not fucking your wife or anybody else's wife.
Starting point is 00:08:34 And he looked at me again, and then he said, well, I don't even really know if it's you. and if it's not you, I'm really sorry. And I took pause for a second because I'm like, you're coming to my house, banging on my front door, and then you drop this bomb on my household, and then you're going to say that you don't even know if it's me.
Starting point is 00:09:03 So I said, you need to get the fuck off my property. I walked under the sidewalk so I could look in the car just to see who this is. And when I saw the person, didn't recognize them at all. And then she gets out of the car, and then, like, she's staring at me. And then she has these huge, huge sunglasses on, like, so huge I couldn't even see her face, really.
Starting point is 00:09:29 But they weren't, like, total blackout. And I could see through the sunglasses that look like she had, like, two black eyes. And she's crying. It seemed like Joel, in an effort to deflect the attention off of his own actions, was slyly suggesting this man was beating his wife. And then this guy slams the back of their car and says, is that him? Like screaming at her. And she startles.
Starting point is 00:09:59 And she starts to cry even more. And then she like shakes her head, yes, and then gets right back into the car. And then he said, well, the least that you can do is, apologize for ruining my family. And then so I started walking away and I said, I have nothing to apologize for it because I don't know you, I don't know your wife, I'm not fucking your wife, I'm not fucking anybody else,
Starting point is 00:10:27 and then I just started to walk back in my house and then they drove away eventually. So you had never seen either one of them? No. Going back to catfishing, you made a comment about that at the beginning when we opened up, what does that have to do with them coming to your front door? In, like, two years ago, there was essentially like a breakup of friendships with, like,
Starting point is 00:11:05 four different couples. It seemed like Joel had come prepared with a backstory. He says it all started at a dinner party that he and Caroline attended. It was with a group of couples. An argument broke out, the couple hosting got into it with Caroline and Joel. The wife in particular was enraged. So she starts screaming and yelling at us, and we just got up and started to walk away. And then as we were walking out of their house, she's following behind us, and then she says,
Starting point is 00:11:35 I'm going to ruin your fucking lies. The story was over the top, ridiculous even. Then it got even stranger. Joel said another woman got pulled into the conflict, and the two women teamed up to take down the kerns. There was another couple who was friends with this lady that said that she's going to fucking ruin my life or ruin our lives. And she, when we were all friends, used to brag about how she would make fake social media accounts and then converse with people using the fake account.
Starting point is 00:12:09 her idea of fun was to impersonate a friend of a person that they already have on Facebook, and then she would start conversing with them on the instant messaging. Chanza asked more questions about the women Joel believed targeted his family, but eventually they got to the heart of the matter. Have you ever had any kind of sexual contact inside your city assigned take-home vehicle? No. Have you ever had any sexual contact with anyone while on duty? No.
Starting point is 00:12:39 Okay. So the allegations that are being brought against you are absolutely not true. No. Chanza then showed Joel a photograph of a woman. It was not the woman who filed the complaint. It was someone else. Have you ever met this lady? No. No. Have you ever uploaded WhatsApp on your work cell phone number?
Starting point is 00:13:04 No. Obviously, you're aware we took your phone. and as you may imagine, we dumped your laptop. What if I were to tell you that you did communicate with someone directing them to go to WhatsApp? Would that refresh your memory? You can have opinions, you can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plan.
Starting point is 00:13:57 a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us like. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:14:37 On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John Hobriant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here? We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught. Financial education is not always about, like, I'm going to get rich. That's great. It's about creating an atmosphere for you to be able to take care of yourself and leave a strong financial legacy for your family.
Starting point is 00:15:18 If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to Money and Wealth with John O'Brien from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio. Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast. What's up? I'm Miles Turner. And I'm Brianna Stewart.
Starting point is 00:15:39 And our podcast, Game Recognized Game, has never been done before. Two active players giving you a real look at our lives and what we actually think on and off the court. Nothing's off limits. We talk trade requests. What's the vibe of that when it's like your star player is like, well, I want to leave? And then actually now I'm going to stay. We talk tanking. I mean, honestly, like, I might get in trouble for this answer,
Starting point is 00:16:03 but I think it's, like, definitely happening in the WBA. And yeah, we talk about our mistakes, too. They pulled me to the side and was like, hey, man, we got a call last night, man, you can't be rolling around the city like this tonight before games, no, you know, doing this, doing whatever. And of course, family stories. They'll be like, Mommy, why did you miss that? Mommy, do you play basketball?
Starting point is 00:16:27 Check out Game Recognized game with Stuie and Miles on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, everyone. I'm Cheryl Stray, author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things. I'm excited to share that I have a new podcast called Mind Over Mountain. In each episode, I interview athletes, adventurers, and adrenaline seekers to discuss the inner landscapes and life experiences that informed and inspired their extraordinary feats. I also bring a bit of advice into the mix, So we too can better understand how to face our own seemingly insurmountable challenges. Do you know what I'm going to do?
Starting point is 00:17:06 I'm going to pull out what you already have inside. We're coming into this world fighting for our lives. All I'm going to do is pull out what you already got inside. We're there to support and celebrate each other. And that's not like your story versus my story. You're going to walk up and over that dang mountain. You're not just going to put your mind over it. Yep, yep, exactly.
Starting point is 00:17:25 And if I can't walk up and over it, I'm going to go through it. Listen to mind over mountain. every Thursday on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Lieutenant Chanza began to lay out the evidence they'd collected. Immediately, Joel's tone shifted. So did his story. These guys worked with Joel for years. This was the last situation they wanted to be in.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Obviously, you're aware we took your phone. And as you may imagine, we dumped your laptop. What if I were to tell you, you'd get... that you did communicate with someone directing them to go to WhatsApp. Would that refresh your memory? I don't remember in what context. You said that her name's what? Would it help you if I told you she has a Denver number?
Starting point is 00:18:23 Yeah. I met her at a brew function. I'm sorry at a what? A brewery function, like a beer function. Can you describe that for us? Um, just met her through there and then, um, we started talking and then, um, share a common interest and became friends. But I just know her as her first name. I don't know her last name or anything like that. Well, you recognize the pictures, right?
Starting point is 00:18:55 Yeah, now I do, yep. Joel, you know how that's looking, right? Is this the person making allegations? Uh, we'll get to that. But, I mean, if we're trying to establish credibility, moracity, I'm showing you a picture. I'm giving you a chance to take a look at it. You're telling me to my face that you don't recognize them.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Well, I was mistaken. I apologize for that. I recognize her because I just met her at the proof functions. But that's it. The woman in the photo was the same woman we heard from in an earlier episode. We're not using her name here. She was the one Joel had sex with in the parking lot of a sporting goods store. The one Joel was texting when he said,
Starting point is 00:19:45 There's been some drama and I deleted everything. The CSPD had copies of their messages. You don't have any kind of other relationship with her? No. Have you communicated with her through WhatsApp? Yes. Just as friends talking to that about different things, but that's it. Do you have a romantic relationship with her, Joel?
Starting point is 00:20:08 I do not. Would she say differently? I don't have a romantic relationship with her. Have you been intimate with her? No. When I say intimate, I'll be very brunt and blue-bo-so we don't have any of us. Have you been physically intimate or had sex with her. Before Joel could say anything, Sokolik decided to lay it all out there.
Starting point is 00:20:33 He was done with Joel's denial. Before you answer that, could we're pausing? What I'm going to say is, I want to make sure it's very clear that the internal, the first detectives are in Denver right now to contact her during this meeting. So this should be a really easy question, Joel. We're not here to trick you, Joe. This is we're trying to get to the bottom of this. I mean, do you know both of us?
Starting point is 00:20:52 So, perfect, let me stop things for a second here, okay? I really want to be clear. I know you're talking about catfishing on this. That is not the allegation. The allegation to be very clear is you had sex with this person. Not that she talked to you about having sex, that you've had sex with this person in your department of vehicle. That's not a catfishing situation.
Starting point is 00:21:10 It's a very serious allegation. And it's not like a misunderstanding. I'm talking to the wrong person online. This person has identified that they had sex with you, Joel Kern, in your department car. And I'll be honest, it doesn't sound as you being 100% honest here, Joel. So I'm asking you again, real quick, understanding the detectors are out there to talk to her right now,
Starting point is 00:21:30 have you physically intimate with this individual? Yes. Did you have sex with them? Yes. Did that occur inside the department vehicle? No. Did it occur on duty? No.
Starting point is 00:21:45 I mean, I guess it could have. Are you familiar with Fat Life? I've heard of it, but yeah. FetLife is a kink and Fetish social networking website. Did you meet her through Fat Life? I can't remember if I did or not. You have a Fat Life account? No.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Did you have a Fat Life account? No. Okay. So in order to go through Fet Life, you have to have an account in order to have those conversations back and forth or do DMs and that kind of stuff. So how would you have met her potentially there if you didn't have an account with that life? I don't remember how I met her exactly. It's been a few years.
Starting point is 00:22:21 So we're not going to let you skate on this one. You just said I might have. So clearly you have been on Fed Life. Can we establish that? I looked at it, yes. And what Jimmy just said is that you cannot get on there without having an account. We've tested all this out. Mm-hmm. I deleted, I had an account and then I deleted it when I was trying to get my life back on track.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Okay, that's a step in the right direction. So you had an account, but you don't know if you met her through that life. I think I did, yeah, but it wasn't, you're painting it out to be, you know. We're not passing judgment, Joe, I'll stop you there. We're not. We're giving you an opportunity to talk to us. All we're trying to establish is, did you violate policy? And if you did, obviously, we have to be held accountable, period. I mean, that's it. We're not here to pass judgment.
Starting point is 00:23:29 So there's periods in my marriage and home life that were bad. And then, you know, I met her and talked to her, and then we just became fast friends. But to the question of violating policy and all that, no. Okay, but you said that possibly you met her while you were on duty, you were coming back from Denver, when you went to this trip that you're thinking about, were you driving your take-home vehicle? Yes. Okay. So how does that happen?
Starting point is 00:24:11 How do you meet her? You said you went to a brewery. It was coming back from a training, and she suggested that we meet. and then so we met on the way back and then coming back
Starting point is 00:24:29 we just met at the I forget the name of the store is an outdoor store like around Lincoln and I-25 okay and then
Starting point is 00:24:40 where do you guys go and have intimate relationships well she came over into my car and then we just talked and everything
Starting point is 00:24:55 and then kissed. Okay. What part of the car? Front passenger seat. Any other area of the car? Mm-hmm. She might have been?
Starting point is 00:25:09 Mm-mm. And I'm sure you can probably guess where we're going with this. We obviously took the car. We had the lab search it and do what they do. Mm-hmm. Would there be any chance for her DNA to be in the back of that car? Oh, I'm sure. Oh, sure. I mean, she's in the car or so.
Starting point is 00:25:30 Joel, did you think besides kiss? Well, this is all very embarrassing and humiliating. But, yeah, we had sex. What about's in the car? No, in the back. Only the one time? Mm-hmm. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Joel admitted to certain details. But when and only when he realized, they already knew it. So the picture that we're getting, Joel, is that there might be more than one person. So we want you to think about it. Pause if you need to take a break, if you need to use the restroom, get some water. And we can talk about that when we get back. They took a break, and when they returned, Chanza and Sokolik continued their questioning. Did you have conversation on that light?
Starting point is 00:26:31 I don't know her name or who she is or anything like that. But yeah, I think I had conversations or I did have conversations with her armpit life. Okay. Did you arrange her to download the WhatsApp so you guys could have conversations privately on your phone? Yes. Did you arrange to meet her at Memorial Park? Yes. Then basically you had sex with her at Memorial Park.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Didn't have sex. There was no penetration. So that was oral sex only? Yes. Joel is shredding carefully here because admitting to having sex in public is not only admitting to a violation of his duty, but a violation of the law. During this conversation, you said when you arranged that basically she is submissive and you are dominant. She said you struck her several times leaving bruises. I will say before further too, she says this was a consensual encounter.
Starting point is 00:27:25 She is not alleging a sexual assault. And remember you're within the confines of Gary. Remember, the Garrity advisement is a warning given to police officers during an internal investigation. The individual signing this advisement is declaring that they will tell the truth. This is not having to do anything to do with a criminal investigation. I'm just trying to lock in her statement. She said you left bruises, you physically struck her, pulled her hair, that type of thing. No.
Starting point is 00:27:54 So obviously at some point in time, after this takes place, you break contact with her. She leaves? Yes. You have any further contact with her? Just here or there afterwards, but nothing. What is here they mean? Just texting a little bit on the app, but no physical meetings at whatsoever. So when her husband showed up, you know what he was talking about.
Starting point is 00:28:26 That's my wife out there, the one that you're fucking your cruiser? What are you talking about? Well, yeah. But again, I didn't have sex with her, as in, you know, sexual intercourse or anything like that. So, but yeah, I had an idea. Did you recognize her that day? Vaguely, yes. So just to clarify the picture that I'm showing you here, Jill,
Starting point is 00:29:02 is this a lady that was there that day in front of your house? Yes. Then the investigators turned to an important element. In this case, they have a selfie Joel sent to this woman, a photo where he's wearing his police uniform. You can clearly see his badge on his chest. And the investigators needed to know why. What was Joel's intention?
Starting point is 00:29:26 You sent a picture of yourself to the complainant in this case, the person that you met at Memorial Park. Yes. Okay. Were you in uniform? Can't remember. That you identify yourself as a police officer to this person? After some time, until we were talking, yes. Why did you do that? Because she said that she works in law and the intent was developing friendships and all that and having friendships, so it's just more of like a getting to know. The information we received is that she was nervous. Is that why you sent a picture of yourself Or is that why you identified yourself
Starting point is 00:30:11 As a police officer to... No. Just more... To make her feel more comfortable? No, absolutely not. But you did identify yourself as a police officer? Yes. So, Joe, we started all this. Why didn't you say what happened?
Starting point is 00:30:31 Because it's humiliating. It's embarrassing. It's traumatic. And, you know, all the... demons from my past come to rise and I was at a low point definitely in my marriage and in in my life and trying to save face trying to not get fired and I think maybe a cry for help because anything you want to make sure that the person
Starting point is 00:31:16 means this gets to hear directly from you. Yeah, I think I'm salvageable. I acknowledge that I've needed help for a long time. And I just throw myself at the mercy of the people reading this and promise that, you know, I want to do better. And I think I need help and I think it would be nice for the department to help me get there. We pay a lot of lip service about our employees as our family and all that, but I like to maybe
Starting point is 00:32:02 somehow believe in that and recognize that I've had issues and I've had issues for a long, long time. And every day is a struggle and I want help. In closing, this investigation is ongoing. In order to maintain the confidentiality of this case, I'm giving you a direct order not to discuss this case or this interview with anyone other than internal affairs or anyone from whom the discussion would be legally protected and confidential under Colorado statute. Do you understand this order?
Starting point is 00:32:33 I do. Okay, this will conclude the interview. The time now is 1344 hours. Caroline and I listened to the internal affairs interview together. I wanted to know what she thought of Joel's performance. Finally, she could hear what was really going on with Joel while she was still in the dark. Caroline remembers exactly what she was doing the week of Joel's interview, because she was on vacation with her daughter.
Starting point is 00:33:10 They decided to take a trip to Vegas together and soak up the desert sun. Joel hung back saying he was busy with work. All the while, he knew he'd been caught. He was just waiting to find out how bad the consequences would be. And he picked us up at the airport with our dogs in the car, you know, gets out of the car, kisses me, hugs her, Missed you guys. Oh, we missed you. We're catching up. We're talking about the food we ate and we're filling him in. How was work? Oh, my gosh, so busy this week. I have replayed that over and over and over and over again. To Caroline, her husband seemed completely normal. Meanwhile, he has just revealed what is going to be the detriment to our family.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Wow. I mean, he signs the Garrity, which is basically saying that he's promising to tell the truth. And from the very beginning from question one, he is lying. Do you feel like he thought that he could talk his way out of it? I don't think he just thought he could talk his way out of it. I think that he truly, in his gut, believed he would get away with it. He not only thought that he could have his attorney believe him, but Joel believed that he would be able to have Raphael and Jimmy believe him as well. And those are the two internal affairs investigators we heard questioning him, Raphael Chanza and Jimmy Soak.
Starting point is 00:34:41 These are two people who both knew you guys personally. Yes. The part that disturbs me so much on this is not just that he lied, but the level of personal connection and whom he lied to. They were promoted on the same day together as lieutenants. We were at Jimmy Sokolick's wedding. Wow. These were people who had been at personal events and our lives. He's lying to them and not only just lying to them as professionals, colleagues, and friends, but he is lying about the dynamic of our home.
Starting point is 00:35:18 There was not this unhealthy, horrible life at home. And yet this is what he reverts back to. time and time and time again on the times where he has gotten caught. Yeah, I was going to say he refers to your marriage being in a bad place and this isn't the first IA investigation where he cites this experience.
Starting point is 00:35:42 You don't look back at that time feeling like your marriage was in a bad place. I do not. Do you even recognize the person on that tape? So when I hear the investigation, I see this stranger who I lived with. I do not know that man.
Starting point is 00:36:02 That man who is on that tape is evil. I don't know anything about him. He just didn't think he would get to that point. That's why he started with the lying, denying, deflecting, and shifting any of the responsibility. And then when he had to fall on his sword, magically it became all this was going sideways at home. I have demons. I need help.
Starting point is 00:36:27 It turned into a different deflection. Yeah. He would make comments about, quote, slaying his demons. And then he would talk about, I just need to get back to the man I was. I could be the husband I was. I could be the dad I was. But the fact of the matter is, what were you? Yeah, who were you ever?
Starting point is 00:36:48 That's a question that the kids and I have grappled with. Those are the moments where I question things, but I have to remind myself, the kids and I were living the truth. He was living the lie. Yeah. Yeah. How long is it taking you to get to that place? To be able to say that I do it daily.
Starting point is 00:37:12 I still have to do it daily. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive science. and hosts of the podcast a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent,
Starting point is 00:38:02 and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with, the kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John Hobriant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here?
Starting point is 00:38:44 We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught. Financial education is not always about, like, I'm going to get rich. That's great. It's about creating an atmosphere for you to be able to take care of yourself and leave a strong financial legacy for your family. If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money,
Starting point is 00:39:11 this conversation is for you to hear more. Listen to Money and Wealth with John O'Brien from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, everyone. I'm Cheryl Stray, author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things. I'm excited to share that I have a new podcast called Mind Over Mountain. In each episode, I interview athletes, adventurers, and adrenaline seekers to discuss the inner landscapes and life experiences that informed and inspired their extraordinary feats. I also bring a bit of advice into the mix so we too can better understand how to face our own seemingly insurmountable challenges. Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to pull out what you already have inside. We're coming into this world fighting for our lives. All I'm
Starting point is 00:40:00 going to do is pull out what you already got inside. We're there to support and celebrate each other. And that's not like your story versus my story. You're going to walk up and over that dang mountain. You're not just going to put your mind over it. Yep, yep, exactly. And if I can't walk up and over it, I'm going to go through it. Listen to Mind Over Mountain every Thursday on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up? I'm Miles Turner. And I'm Brianna Stewart.
Starting point is 00:40:29 And our podcast, Game Recognized Game, has never been done before. Two active players giving you a real look at our lives and what we actually think on and off the court. Nothing's off limits. We talk trade requests. What's the vibe of that when it's like your star players like, well, I want to leave? And then actually now I'm going to stick. We talk tanking. I mean, honestly, like, I might get in trouble for this answer,
Starting point is 00:40:52 but I think it's, like, definitely happening in the WBA. And yeah, we talk about our mistakes, too. They pulled me to the side and was like, hey, man, we got a call last night, man. You can't be rolling around the city like this tonight before games, no, you know, doing this, doing whatever. And of course, family stories. They'll be like, Mommy, why did you miss that?
Starting point is 00:41:13 Mind, do you play basketball? Check out Game Recognized game with Stuyen Miles on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So just to go on the record, today's April. About a month after Joel's internal affairs interview, Judgment Day finally came. Joel had to face his boss, Commander Strassner, who had believed in him, thought the best of him. You've heard the date several times now. April 11th, 2022. And Strassner got right to it.
Starting point is 00:41:52 I don't want to belabor the point here. This is not, did not expect to have to do this with you, Joel. I really never expected this would have to be the case. Did you get the agenda for the meeting? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Okay. Strasner began by laying out the facts of the case.
Starting point is 00:42:14 About 4.30 to 5 p.m. You informed me that you knew you were under investigation. When I asked how you knew that, you proceeded to tell me about the confrontation that occurred on February 5th, professing your innocence and adamantly denying any involvement in the situation. I had no reason not to believe your innocence in this case, which meant that either the couple was lying and needed to be criminally charged or that another cop was impersonating you and needed to be fired. and that we would make sure the case was thoroughly investigated.
Starting point is 00:42:51 After being advised in signing the Garrity warning, which included in order to answer questions truthfully, you knowingly lied, providing false information to the investigators for nearly 40 to 45 minutes. You initially attempted to blame someone you know as d'u for causing you and your wife's problems and somehow causing this complaint by catfishing you online. You initially denied ever having an account on FetLife and denied knowing either B.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Only after being confronted with specific facts, did you begin to admit to having sex with her? While admitting to having sex with her, you initially denied the encounter occurred in your police car. You later confessed, you might have met her on FetLife and then did admit the sexual encounter did occur in your police vehicle. After taking a break in the interview, you returned. Finally, you admit that you arranged.
Starting point is 00:43:45 meeting in Memorial Park with you stated you do not have sex with her because there was no penetration and quite frankly I think this is quibbling over the details because she did perform oral sex on you in the back of the SUV. There are discrepancies in the rest of the interview between what and you describe as having occurred
Starting point is 00:44:05 in the back of the SUV. Quite frankly those details are irrelevant to proving the overall case. However, given the false statements you've provided to internal affairs, I have no reason to discount any of her recollection of these events. That's my overall case summary.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Lieutenant, do you have any comments that you want to make? I'm extremely remorseful. I'm extremely ashamed, humiliated, embarrassed, upset. I'm begging for mercy. I literally was not in my right mind. And I've been going through a hard time for Selva, years and I can promise you that nothing like that would ever ever happen again. I initially lied in the I interview because I was humiliated, embarrassed, scared.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Didn't I want to have this come to fruition and lose everything that I have? I am on a bended knee asking for forgiveness. I promise you that none of this will be able to do. none of this will ever happen again. I understand that I've shattered your trust. And it's something that I want to work hard to get back. I apologize for any of this happening. The last three months have been hell,
Starting point is 00:45:44 and I just am begging for your mercy. I'm going to move to the next section here and just talk about my comments and insight regarding this case. This case is not about the sex or how you met these women. Honestly, I don't really care what your preferences are unless the PD is somehow brought into the situation as occurred in this case when you sent essentially these strangers a photograph of yourself in police uniform and used your work vehicle for your activities. That's what made this a police issue. The week the allegation was filed, you didn't.
Starting point is 00:46:29 need to say anything to me about the case. And quite honestly, I wish you'd not said anything to me at all. You literally lied to my face on that Wednesday afternoon proclaiming your innocence and then less than 20 minutes later was texting with to tell her there was drama and that you deleted everything. Even on Friday when I tried to reassure you that I had no reason not to believe you and would make sure that this case was thoroughly investigated, you didn't flinch. Even when I threatened to criminally charge this couple or maybe fire another employee, and you later thanked me for believing in you. To me, this is the most disturbing piece of the entire case.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Even in your interview with IA, as a former investigator yourself, you lied to Jimmy and Raphael trying to pin this on a third person named B. You had five and a half weeks to think about your interview and decided to stick with your story and deny that, any of this occurred. The fact that you lied, the fact that you're willing to put this on the third person, or possibly even have charges filed against a complainant, is absolutely horrific and constitutes a violation of your oath in office. I also cannot ignore the previous history from the 2019 case. Straussner is referring to the case when a reporter contacted the
Starting point is 00:47:52 CSPD because Joel was up for the public information officer job. The reporter alleged that Joel had sexually harassed her and other reporters. In 2019, Commander Mandel wrote, in regard to that incident, Lieutenant Kern is a valuable member of the department is committed to putting this behind him and being a better person and leader for the organization. I have full confidence that Lieutenant Kern has learned from his mistakes
Starting point is 00:48:17 and he will not place himself or the department in this position again. I'm hearing some of the same things that were said last time in that case. Strassner is right. Back in 2019, Joel had used some of the exact same language. Here's Joel in 2019. I'm ashamed and I'm embarrassed and I'm humiliated. And again, I take full responsibility for my actions and I ask for mercy. Not only did you put yourself in that same position, you made it worse.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Someone might make that argument that you were initially evasive in the IA interview, but that you rectified it later by telling the truth. I want to be clear that I do not believe you fully redeemed your credibility, or you were completely transparent. Even near the end of your interview, you were specifically asked by Lieutenant Sokolik whether you deleted the WhatsApp to which you told them yes. Later, Lieutenant Chanza asked you,
Starting point is 00:49:21 do you still use WhatsApp currently, and you replied just to talk to... I believe the slip-up proves you're still not being completely honest with investigators, that you're unable to keep track of all your lies, and quite frankly, I question how many other women are out there that may bring forward allegations in the future. Now, before I present my findings, I want to address something you stated during your interview at Lieutenant Chan's in Sokwick. I said that you believe you need help, and it would be nice for the department to help you get there,
Starting point is 00:49:54 and you said, quote, we pay a lot of lip service about our employees as family, and I'd like to maybe somehow believe in that and recognize I've had issues. I want to point out a couple things. In 2019, you received nothing more than a written reprimand at a time when you might have been able to get more, and you said you were already seeking the help. I believe this department has treated you more than fair regarding these previous indiscretions.
Starting point is 00:50:20 I'm not saying that they weren't. I'm about to go into the findings of the policies. Did you have anything you wanted to add? Yeah, that I know that the... the department has been good to me. I am sorry that this kind of stuff happened a second time, but I swear that there is nobody else. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to hold on to my employment
Starting point is 00:50:52 and to show that I can do better. I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I understand that it looks bad. the way everything's been discussed here. And again, I'm begging for your mercy. Strassner was unmoved. Okay. Let's go through each of the policies.
Starting point is 00:51:20 So as I go through these, remember the standard is a preponderance of the evidence. First one is 906.30. It's the take-home vehicle's policy. By preponderance of the evidence, your take-home vehicle was inappropriately used. this allegation is sustained. 400.30 police officer.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Conduct unbecoming of a police officer. It's reasonable believe that using photographs of yourself in official police uniform to gain the trust of women you have met on FetLife and then having sex with them in an official police vehicle has brought disrepute to the police department. Further, your false statements to me at the onset were unsolicited and used to paint yourself in the most favorable light regarding this investigation. This allegation is sustained. Then, Strassner reached the most egregious of Joel's violations.
Starting point is 00:52:16 And the final allegation is 400.13 employee conduct departing from the truth. Employees will not willfully or knowingly depart from the truth in giving testimony or in connection with official duties. You were given a Garrity advisement and signed that advisement knowing you were being ordered to tell the truth. By a preponderance of the evidence you gave a false statement for the first approach, approximately 40 minutes of the interview. Only when confronted with evidence, did you finally begin to confess some of your role in this case? Yet, as I said, I still am not sure that you've told the whole truth. This is sustained as well. This whole thing has just been like a shock to my conscience. It really has. And honestly, I think we've been painted into a corner where there's really only one outcome in this case I can recommend.
Starting point is 00:53:11 I have no option but to recommend your termination. Caroline, it feels like maybe for the first time someone with authority sees through Joel's facade. What went through your mind when you heard Joel's boss confront him? I think it's fascinating to listen to when Straussner says, and I believe there's more. There's more women. I question how many other women will come forward. And then hearing Joel say, I swear these were the only two. I swear these were the only two.
Starting point is 00:53:52 And next thing you know, it's all kinds of different names are being revealed and all of these sexual encounters and sexually illicit behavior while he's under the guise of a police officer. Did you ever talk to Strasner? I did. What? Can you tell me about that? There's two people who a lot of people will be shocked that I'm grateful for. The first one is the male who came to my front door, the husband of the. the wife who Joel had an affair with. And the second one is Jeff Strassner.
Starting point is 00:54:23 I'm extremely grateful for Jeff Strassner. I was at a community event and he was there. And as we walked out together, I said, hey, Jeff. And I could tell he was nervous to see me. And he was like, oh, you know, hey, hey, Caroline. And I said, I'd like to thank you. And he looked shocked. And I said, thank you for not below.
Starting point is 00:54:49 believing him. Thank you for the due diligence of hearing this one out and not giving him the benefit of the doubt. You may have saved mine and my kids' lives. Thank you. And Jeff's always been a very friendly and a little bit stoic of a man, but his voice started a crack and you could see the emotion on him. And he said, oh my gosh, thank you for saying that. I appreciate you saying that. I have thought about you and the kids so much. So when I hear Jeff Strassner's commentary in this interview, I'm extremely grateful for him. I know that just hours later is when Joel's going to do his reveal to me and the kids. So it's an interesting thing to reflect back on it and think
Starting point is 00:55:50 Yeah. What that day must have been like in his world. So we know that Strassner recommended Joel for termination. But he wasn't fired, was he? No. Joel wasn't fired. And this case only gets more interesting. We'll explore how he was able to avoid termination
Starting point is 00:56:17 on the next episode of betrayal. Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season 4. If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team, email us at Betrayalpod at gmail.com. That's Betrayal P-O-D at Gmail. Also, please be sure to follow us on Instagram at Betrayal Pod and me, Andrea H. Gunning, for all Betrayal content, news, and updates. One way to support this series is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal.
Starting point is 00:56:52 Five-star reviews help us know. you appreciate what we do. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with I-Hard podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fasin. Betrayal is hosted and produced by me,
Starting point is 00:57:09 Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Carrie Hartman. Also produced by Ben Federman. Our associate producers are Caitlin Golden and Kristen Mulcuri. Our I-Heart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Kreincheck. Story editing by
Starting point is 00:57:23 Monique Laborde. Audio editing and mixing by Matt Dalvecchio. Editing by Tanner Robbins. And special thanks to Caroline and her family. Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines, music library provided by Myb Music. And for more podcasts from IHeart, visit the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes.
Starting point is 00:58:08 You can have opinions, you can have like a strong stance, and then there's your body having its own program. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, listeners. I'm Jamal Jordan, the host of Roershack, murder at City Hall podcast.
Starting point is 00:58:32 In July 2003, councilman James E. Davis, an ambitious rising star in Brooklyn politics, was murdered inside New York City Hall, shot to death in front of more than 200 people. The killer? His political opponent, a man named Neil Thurton,
Starting point is 00:58:52 ask you. The full story of this shocking public murder and the relationship between these two men has not yet been told until now. I want to let you know that you can get access to all episodes of Roershack Murder at City Hall 100% ad-free with an I-Heart True Crime Plus subscription, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Plus, you'll get access to all episodes of Roershack Murder at City Hall one week ahead of everyone else, available only to I-Heart, True Crime, plus subscribers. So don't wait. Head's Apple Podcasts. Search for Iheart True Crime Plus and subscribe today. Hi listeners. I'm Anna Sinfield, host of The Girlfriends Trust Me Babe. I'm excited to share the Girlfriends Trust Me Babe story with you. And I want to let you know that you can get access to all episodes of
Starting point is 00:59:43 season one, two, three and four of the Girlfriends. And every single episode of The Girlfriends, Trust Me Babe, 100% ad-free with an I-heart True Crime Plus subscription. Available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Plus, you'll get access to all episodes of The Girlfriends, Trust Me, Babe, one week ahead of everyone else. Available only to I-Heart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait, head to Apple Podcasts, search for IHeart True Crime Plus, and subscribe today. It's Financial Literacy Month, and the podcast Eating While Broke is bringing real conversation.
Starting point is 01:00:21 about money, growth, and building your future. This month, hear from top streamer, Zoe Spencer, and venture capitalist Lakeisha Landrum Pierre, as they share their journeys from starting out to leveling up. There's an economic component to communities thriving. If there's not enough money and entrepreneurship happening in communities, they failed. Listen to Eating While Broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.
Starting point is 01:00:48 This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.

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