Bite Back with Abbey Sharp - Can I LOSE WEIGHT Without F-ing Up my Kids?! How to Raise Body Confident Kids in Diet Culture with Cat & Nat

Episode Date: August 19, 2025

Here’s a run down of what we discussed in today’s episode:IntroductionMom Guilt & Food Police: When Everyone Judges Your Kid’s PlateBreaking Free from Food Shame: Tips for ParentsModern Diet Culture: From Jillian Michaels to TikTok “Wellness”Kids & Diet Culture: When Their Questions Hit HardPuberty, Growth, and Weight Gain: Helping Kids Through Body ChangesParenting in the Age of Social MediaHow to Raise Body-Confident Kids While Healing YourselfWhy Weight Gain After Restriction Isn’t a FailureModeling Body Respect Over Body ObsessionPractical Scripts for Talking About Food at Any AgeTeaching Kids to Bite Back Against Diet CultureCheck in with today’s amazing guest: Cat & NatWebsite: catandnat.caPodcast: Cat & Nat UnfilteredInstagram: @catandnatTiktok: @catandnatofficialYoutube: @catandnatytBook: Cat and Nat’s Mom SecretsDisclaimer: The content in this episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is never a substitute for medical advice. If you’re struggling with with your mental or physical health, please work one on one with a health care provider.If you have heard yourself in our discussion today, and are looking for support, contact the free NEDIC helpline at 1-866-NEDIC-20 or go to eatingdisorderhope.com.  🥤 Check out my 2-in-1 Plant Based Probiotic Protein Powder, neue theory at www.neuetheory.com or @neuetheory and use my promo code BITEBACK20 to get 20% off your order! Don’t forget to Please subscribe on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts and leave us a review! It really helps us out. ✉️ SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTERS ⤵️Neue Theory newsletterAbbey's Kitchen newsletter 🥞 FREE HUNGER CRUSHING COMBO™ E-BOOK! 💪🏼 FREE PROTEIN 101 E-BOOK! 📱 Follow me! Instagram: @abbeyskitchenTikTok: @abbeyskitchenYouTube: @AbbeysKitchen My blog, Abbey’s Kitchen www.abbeyskitchen.comMy book, The Mindful Glow Cookbook affiliate link: https://amzn.to/3NoHtvf If you liked this podcast, please like, follow, and leave a review with your thoughts and let me know who you want me to discuss next!

If I see a mom and her kids are like obese, or if I see a mom and she's walking with her daughter who's anorexic, I immediately think about the mom. Welcome to another episode of Bite Back with Abby Sharp, where I dismantled diet culture rules, call out the charlatans spinning the pseudoscience, and help you achieve food freedom for good. Okay, folks, today it is time for some cold, hard mom truths, like the fact that sometimes going to the grocery store alone feels like a bit of a five-star vacation, or that self-care often looks like locking yourself in the bathroom with a granola bar and telling your hubby that you're having, quote, quote, lady troubles. Or on a more serious note, that you can be overwhelmingly touched out and still feel woefully alone. The irony of motherhood is that it can often feel so isolating, and yet the experiences

are all so relatable. And it's thanks to people like my guests today, Cat and Nat, for helping us all feel like we're in this together. If somehow you're unfamiliar, Cat and Nat are the host of the comedy podcast, Cat and Nat Unfiltered, And they're the OG mom truth messengers. And I'm honestly so excited to have them here on Byteback. Today we're going to be talking about how to chill out about our kids' diets and bodies in a world that judges moms for every package snack in their lunchboxes.

We're going to be talking about how to help our kids survive puberty amidst all the diet culture noise. And we're going to be discussing how to navigate the social media landscape as parents. Now, before we get into it, a quick disclaimer that obviously all families are different and we are all just doing the best job that we can. So these insights and thoughts are all just based on personal experience and, of course, my professional opinions as a dietitian. So please do take whatever resonates and leave what doesn't. Also, this is never a replacement for one-on-one health care advice. So always speak to your pediatrician or registered dietitian about your unique needs.

All right, folks, let's get into it. Kat and Nat, I am so excited to have you guys here today. I'm really looking forward to this conversation. Because I don't know, how many kids do you have between the two of you? Seven? You got it. I have four. She has three.

Can feel a lot more. Some days can feel like 21. But yes, someday seven, some days feels like four. Fair, fair. Yeah, I've got two, five, and seven. So I have so much to learn from you ladies. And I want to get to start with, you know, talking about feeding kids because, first of all, I don't know, seven. Well, I know you've got four and three, but that is a lot of mouths to feed, especially in the teenage years.

I don't even know how in its economy. I don't know how that's going to work. But, you know, we're obviously the nutritional gatekeepers usually as moms. We are so heavily judged about, you know, what our kids won't eat, what they will eat. Is it organic? How much sugar is in that snack? All the, plus all the nonstop commentary by the older generations about, you know, how much or how little they're eating. And I think a lot of us moms have, you know, really appreciated your just like no apologies approach to motherhood. I love that. But we're all susceptible to, you know, mom guilt, especially when it comes to something as important as our kids' health. So I would love if you could talk to us about those times where, you know, you have felt you've gotten that passive aggressive comment from a family member or a friend or just like the look when you felt, you know, kind of triggered that you were doing something wrong with feeding your kids. I have literally a perfect story and it wasn't even a family member. I had invited one of my daughter's friends over for dinner and the mom's like, what are you making? And I was like, uh, what?

And I was like, I think at that day I was going to make hot dogs. And they were like the organic. I was like, you know, my kids were young. You go and do like the real beef, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, oh, she can't eat that. She had too much on the weekend. So she can't come. I'm talking like grade two or three.

First of all, mind-blown. And we'll stick with me forever. Like, forever. I remember the story. It was to the girl. I remember the mom. mom, everything. It was before online, like my daughter is 16 now, so I want to say it was pre all this

TikTok, like everything, all these conversations. So, you know, the trends online have been very alive and well prior to online culture. It's just online culture is amplified it, I think, and helped people probably exasperated even more. That sort of shook me and I was like, what? It confused me. And I was like, I don't know where to, don't know how to respond. Don't know where to go with this.

don't know. I don't know what to do. And I think also it's like, as moms, we want to do the best job that we possibly can. So although the cat was feeding her kids perfectly, in that moment, you think to yourself, well, maybe a mom like that has thought about something I haven't thought of and maybe she's making a better decision that I'm making. It's like when, you know, we also have a friend and there's this grocery store and at the grocery store, everything is like, you know, an alternative to regular sugar. And when they bake, they use all the other things. And then you think to yourself, like, well, sugar, they're like, oh, it's more addicted than cocaine. And, you know, people think

that my fourth son, he's the fourth, that he's addicted to sugar. And my family will say sometimes, like, oh my gosh, like he, he's a junkie. Like, he eats so much sugar. And I'm like, you have that moment where you're like, I think everything's fine. Like, everyone seems to be turning out all right. But am I doing something wrong? And you have that moment of thought, I want to be doing the best for my kid and they're just a kid and I'm the one who's buying the food so it's my responsibility and you have those moments but then you know you get tired and I do think it's really hard for a lot of parents who are online watching these kind of like mom feeding accounts where they have their beautiful bento boxes and they're like you know perfectly stylized meals

but it's very hard not to feel insecure when we are living in this you know era of constant social comparison and moms and women feel this the hardest and now we have like grandparents who are on social media also consuming this this kind of content and I feel the most triggered by the grandparents comments and so you know I find that a very simple response that I tell everyone including I try to practice it myself is something like you know if someone makes a comment about oh are they really going to eat that like oh are they going to have another like are they going have Coke? Are they going to have the chicken nuggets? I just say something simple like, you know, thanks. You know, raising healthy eaters to me is like a really long game. And I

care a lot more about my kids having a healthy relationship with food, with like foods like candy and chicken nuggets when they grow up. Then I do about, you know, the sugar in this one particular snack. And I just want my kids to avoid what I suffer through, you know, as best as I possibly can. Because like you just described, there are those kids who get to your house, you have access to candy and because they don't, they don't have the skills in place to be able to moderate their own intake. And that is definitely a reality. Like we don't have dessert. We have access to sweets wherever. Like it's not like now we sit down and have dessert. It's like just I will bake in the kitchen. I will make cookies like at 10 a.m. in the morning. They will eat them. That's not

planned by the way. That is just fully chaotic, the chaotic house that we live in. And my daughter asked yesterday, is this bad for me? It was a hot. I was making hot dogs. We were up north. It was Sunday and I was just making hot dogs. And I'm like, nothing's bad for you. It's bad for you if that's all you eat. If you're going to eat that all day or it's, I said, you know, what's worse for you is if you don't eat the hot dog and then you're going to go in mouth 50 bear paws because you were hungry, but you thought something was bad for you. It's all about nothing's bad. Just like you eat, you eat balanced. Eat, eat fruit and eat sugar. Like I don't, I don't actually have. capacity to care that much about what you eat.

Fed is best still to me to this day because I think non-eaters is, it would be a terrible, I don't wish a eating disorder on my worst end. So at this point, if there's red dye on their food, I'll take it over. Sitting at sick kids trying to understand the relationship with food and undue years of trauma and a forever thing for a lot of people who have eating disorders. Yeah, the other piece of advice I would say as a mom because, you know, you're around a lot of other moms and around their kids is Kat and I have always enjoyed eating and not talking about what's in the food. And our kids have a natural, like, passion for

yummy food. I love your approach. This is really mirroring my approach as well. And I want to speak about, you know, just generally healthy relationships with food. I want to talk about kind of kids and diet culture, which is what we're kind of starting to get into here. Because I'm a millennial, like 80s baby, 90s kid, 2000s. So I grew up in this era of just being fucking terrified of being fat. Like everyone's parents were on Weight Watchers, going to the meetings. The headlines are all about celebrities, you know, being too fat or too thin or paparazzi like zooming into women cellulate while on vacation.

Yeah, still. Still, right? But that's like we, what we saw all the time. And I'm curious how your own early experiences with diet culture may have affected your parenting? I had a sibling who had a severe eating disorder growing up. It wasn't talked about. Like I didn't know what it was till I was

an adult, but I mean, the secrecy, the like the disaster of the house was pretty intense in terms of the emotions and, you know, people crying. Like, you knew something was bad. I don't know. I guess it wasn't talked about in the 2000s. Like, I just remember it was like, oh, and I was like, okay, this is bad. I think that, you know, definitely

I had friends moms who were like, oh, remember no fat, like eat nothing fat so you can eat like a million rice crackers because there's no fat. Like the cow, I just remember my, this one mom friend, I was always on a diet and she's like, and she was also addicted to Otrevin and something else. And there was like, you have no, you just eat no fat. And so she'd serve everyone no fat. We were like seventh grade or something so young. But I, I was a young adult and I was being like a living babysitter for a family. And the family, the parents had gone off to France. and I was living in the house. And the daughter was always eating like celery with salsa. And I was like, ew, like that doesn't seem like whatever. I'm like, that's a unique snack. And,

and her little sister said, because it has no fat, that's the only thing she eats. And I was in my young 20s. And I was like, I didn't even consider that that's what she was doing and that she had an eating disorder. And I remember thinking like, oh my gosh, I'm so scared now. Like something going to happen now that I'm babysitting. She's only eating celery and salsa. And maybe when her mom's here, she has to eat something else. But I remember. And then, you know, just hearing about people who had eating disorders and how much they had struggled with it, I felt like, like looking back, I wish I had been more in the know. So I could have been more supportive to the people that I knew that was going through it. But definitely, I realized that it can, it can, it can ruin, it can really ruin a family and it can be, and it can ruin a life.

And when we had our daughters, we were definitely like, please, please, please, like, we don't want this to happen to them. And so we, you know, we really try. And there was times where they would be called, like, like, my daughter would get notes and you're fat and all of this are the, are the largest of like they are, their, their dads are tall. And like, I don't even know what the, I don't even know how to say. They're always been commented like, oh, how, you're so big for your age. You're always, always day to them. Like, you must be so much older.

They're so big. It was always the first time. You grew, you're so tall. You're like talking like they're not there. And I'm like, you know, it has been something. ironically, something so prevalent in our lives. But I think it comes down to how you feel about you, honest to God. I think it comes down to your own as a mom, like what you feel about your body. And I would say a big portion of our lives is not focused on our bodies. And I would

say, actually, I would say zero percent. The most focus on our bodies is the comments on the line about our bodies. You know what I mean? Like we don't consider our bodies, but the internet considers our bodies. And I think they'll read that sometimes and they'll kind of laugh at it. But I think the irony is that the scrutiny does not come from from us at all. And I think we've never, it's kind of why we have a little bit of an issue with the body positive movement because I think it puts so much focus on bodies where we're like, your body is just really, it's just, it's going to, it's going to change a million times. Like your body, I probably have the same body I have now when I was 21 less minus like the high ass and tight tits like everything else like

that's like just bonged down but I have more time now I'm I'm more in shape I after my second baby I was back to where I was now and then I have the same genes from when I was 21 but I have fluctuated up and down a million times and and I just think that our kids have seen it we never talked about when we were a different size God I think we packed on 30 pounds during COVID around, but it wasn't a focus. It was never like, oh, I've gained 30 pounds. I need to lose 30 pounds. And my kids are funny, right? Because they're just so honest about things. And when during COVID, our, you know, our faces look like blown up balloons, my son will look back at those pictures. And he goes, oh, look, mom, fat face. You had a fat face. And again, my reaction in front

of everybody is, don't be offended. Just, I kind of laugh. And I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe me something. I feel so. Because then they think there's something wrong. So I just kind of And I'm like, don't call anybody else fat face, but I, like, no big deal. Yeah, I had a fatter face. Yeah, it's not a big deal. And I feel like, you know, the diet culture that our kids are exposed to right now being on social media, it's certainly not like Jillian Michael's screaming at people until they throw up, like what we were dealing with. But, you know, in some ways it's, it's worse because it's inescapable and it's sneaky. Wait, sorry, it's way worse.

Yeah. Because that was maybe a 30-minute show. Yeah. This is like every five seconds. all day. It's horrific. And it's even worse for the boys consuming what girls should look like, in my opinion, like what would the standards of what they think. And then they'll see people and like, oh, they look, they look normal. Yeah. They look like they look online. And I'm like, yeah, that's everybody. Like, you'll see us in some. Everyone sees us in real life. And they're like, oh, you're so much smaller than I thought you were. And I'm like, that's because you see a camera with our faces from our boobs up. And we might have a coat on or a heavier sweater or might be a weird angle. Like it blows. my mind. I just think of the sighties. An unexpected side note that obviously is because of social media is the boys focus on their bodies. I do not remember my brothers thinking about it, talking about it, the intake of protein that creates all these things. The my absence,

like I have a day on my arm. Look, I got a dame. Like he was so excited about the muscle veins. The boys, bodies are such a focus now. That is fascinating about the boys. I had not even really thought about that. I guess I'm not anticipating that because I have. boys and I was like yeah I got the easy way you know like I was I thought God gave me a bit of an easier route with that but I'm curious like maybe have you had to field like a lot of diet culture comments and questions and I have there being any that really like rattled you as like whoa I wasn't I don't know how to answer that I don't how to respond to that I just hate that it's an obsession with people I think it's just age in hindsight where where you begin to realize you know

that your body, like it's going to change and as you get older it becomes about health and less about what it actually looks like. And when you have aging parents, you see the importance of how you treat it. I don't think there's eight-year-olds commenting on other people's bodies. However, I will say we did a podcast with Katie. I can't say her last name, Storino, Megababab, she does a lot of the body confidence. And she went to go do a series hoping to get a whole bunch of wisdom an insight from from 80 year olds and 90 year olds and she said unfortunately they're still obsessed with their bodies like they actually still care about what they look like and they wish they could look different so I do feel like it's got to be the work of an individual and

I think because we don't care that much when people talk about it it doesn't really bother I don't think oh yeah there isn't anything that anyone has like you know said to us on a line that has ever rattled us but I think that and I know there are a lot of people who are, you know, online influencers who, you know, you see them coming on and, like, crying and they, and it does affect them. I think that starting from the beginning, we've always been so open about everything that if we got rattled by every comment, I don't think we'd be doing what we do today. We have so much going on. There's so much pressure in life with kids and marriage and life and money and everything. If I also had to manage the feelings of things

that people were saying to me online, I, I would, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and what about from your kids, have your kids ever said anything that they've taken from a, what in a day, or, you know, these day in the life, or these, these, body checking or any other thing that they've seen, like that you've been like, whoa, that's scary. Yesterday, my son said something and I was just thinking how different it is, that there was a girl in an outfit and it was really tight and she was skinny. And he was like, he said something like, if you're going to wear like pants, that skinny, you have to be, you have to have a bigger butt and you have to be bigger. And I was like, when we were teenagers, that never would have been a thing that you want to be bigger, you know, but now we're dealing with these other people who are always going to

want to be skinny. But now there's also that they want to be big and they want to have a round butt, which apparently that trends a little bit less now. But there are so many other things that they're watching. And I was like, oh my gosh, that girl is thin. And now being thin isn't enough. Now she's got to have a booty to go with it. How she doesn't be mad.

Yep. It is exhausting to try to keep up with these things. And, you know, I often get asked by moms, you know, like what when my kid says something about, you know, says a kind of derogatory comment about somebody being fat or they being fat. You know, I always just kind of recommend that we talk in like a very calm, no different than what you've been describing here, a very calm matter-of-fact way, being like, you know, bodies come in all different shapes and sizes and fat's just a storage of energy. that we use when we need it, when we needed to run or do some sport or whatever. It has nothing to do with the kind of person that is or, you know, what kind of, you know, value, what they're interested in, if they're smart, if they, you know, are, you know, a great athlete. It has nothing to do with any of those things. And I think that's really important, particularly

when a kid says, oh, my God, I'm so fat that it's, it's so hard for moms not to rush in and be like, oh my God, no, no, no, no. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. Because I think, I feel like that actually does a bit more harm because it's almost reinforces that fatness then isn't beautiful and it's something that you absolutely don't want to be. So like you guys where you're talking about this earlier on just kind of just talking very neutrally about it and keeping that discussion of fat or larger bodies as a matter of fact. It's kind of like bad words. Mm-hmm. Right? Like you tell kids that they cannot say this. They cannot, they cannot look at that. They cannot do this. They're only going to want to like do it more. And if you talk about being fat,

the fat or fat people and oh no don't ever say that and oh boy you're not fat then they're just like of course they're going to be more intrigued about it because they're like mons says i'm not even allowed to think about it or talk about it at all and then you know then they think like okay well there must be saying are that fat person if i'm not allowed to say it like that there's definitely something i think the silence is worse than anything like the taboo topic of it and i think that you know if you get curious with your kids and ask them more in depth like compared to what or you know your fat oh like tell me more like what do you mean often they can't really elaborate and if they can then you're kind of like okay like we have some work to do but most

kids don't flip a switch and decide their fat it is usually a buildup of you know body image and insecurities and you can tell when a child doesn't feel good in their bodies very early just the way they hold themselves the way the eye contact is you know, the way they're dismissed or, I mean, food patterns and habits, it's not just like you wake up. And I just had this like actually a thought. And I'm going to say it because I'm sure a lot of people think it too. And I can correct myself and say that's wrong. But if I see a mom and her kids are like obese or if I see a mom and she's walking with her daughter who's anorexic, I immediately think about the mom, which is.

wrong because you know there's a really good chance it had nothing to do with her but i immediately like i'll be like if they're really big i'm like what is she feeding them or if they're anorexic i'm like what kind of pressure did she put on her you know and and sometimes that is the case yeah but i correct that i have to correct myself the bad initial thought when you see people's kids you look at the mom and you think about the kid or if the kid is like all these things who immediately think about the parents absolutely and and i'm glad that you brought that up and you said that because it's, you know, for a lot of parents who feel, you know, they're doing their best, they're progressive, they are non-judgmental

people, they accept all people. We just have this gut instinct, this gut reaction to judge the mom. It's always the mom's fault. It's never the dad's fault. Oh my gosh. Now, especially with the food stuff. With the food and bodies, it's never the dad's fault. This is something mom did wrong because mom's the one bringing in the food. Mom's the one setting the rules and, you know, times, what food. they're allowed to eat, mom's the one that may be dieting or not, you know, not dieting or whatever that may be and therefore influencing the kids. It's, and I don't know when that narrative, if it'll ever change, it probably won't, but I think we all need to, just being aware of our instinct to do that is a really great

place to start. I want to talk about puberty, which I feel like I got some time, but I guess you guys are kind of in that phase of life. So I think, you know, we always think about puberty as a time when kids are going to add height and girls get their period, maybe get boobs and all that. But I think it's really important that moms know that this is a time of rapid weight gain, specifically, you know, including fat gain too. So girls are expected to gain on average like 15 to 55 pounds. And a significant amount of that weight is going to be body fat. And again, we're talking about this pressure that moms feel as we've been raised to fear fatness and raised to fear these

rapid body changes. We see these things that's so scary. It's triggering for us, especially because parents, you know, we're taught to be on high alert of this kind of so-called childhood obesity epidemic. I'm wondering if you have any kind of lived experience tips for moms who are navigating this anxiety around their child's puberty changes as teens. Oh my gosh. I have I would think, like, the first thing would be, like, to talk openly about it because, you know, if a girl literally feels like she wakes up the next day and she's like, I have gained so much weight and she thinks it's something that she did wrong, then I think it's just starting off with the conversation about what can happen. And, you know, what the crazy thing is, is that sometimes it doesn't happen to their friends at all. So it's supposed to happen to everyone, but then they're the only ones they feel like it's happening to you. It doesn't look like anyone online is all of a sudden gaining weight.

and changing completely. I know when my kids are going through a gross bird because all of them get smushy. Like it's like a, it's kind of like a puppy, right? Like they get extra skin. You get them and they all, I mean, I don't point it out, but I can just tell them like, oh, here we go, because you can see everything gets like, you know, because they have to grow, that they need it because they're about to do exponential things. But I do say to my kids constantly, what you go through from the ages of 13 to 18,

I'm like, think of in those five years, you will never develop a most, like what it blows my mind what they have to manage and I really try to dial that into them that what is expected of you what you're supposed to learn that you're supposed to figure out your life your body's changing like in those five years all together I'm like think about it I'm like give your body a break because it is unreal unlike parents if you're listening and your kids are crazy and you know it's it's tumultuous think about them at 13 look back from a picture even at 12 to the age of like 17 of what they're supposed to do. It is, it's not normal.

Like, it's totally not normal. And I can't believe they have to finish high school, find a college, figure out a major, do a thing, like drive, get a boyfriend, have friends, make out, have a job. Like, get pubic care. Like, all of them. I'm like, this is actually unfair in a lot. Like, acne, backney, like all. And then have a bang in body and expect it to have straight A's and be normal. And I'm like, this is not normal.

And you kind of get a. because your body is is just get through the day babe just get through the day right now don't worry about that there's lots of time to think about what you want your life to look like in terms of your body if that's working out with that's what is it I don't know but you know I think it's just chill like honest to God there is so much they will find the conversation of being healthy if you are healthy they will find it and you know one of my children does have a higher anxiety and for for them food and um and movement and I'm not even to say exercise because exercise sounds terrible food and do even if it's going out for the day to go find things

is huge for them and I think that that's more of the conversation is how do you feel when versus you need to for your health because they're young they don't really need to they should but like they'll be fine they're not going to get like osteo arthritis like we are when we're 80 You know, so I think it's just changing the conversation for the different ages. And kids, when they're younger, they move. They have fun. They should be moving, you know, like they're outside. They're running.

They're all. And I just think we need to let go of their body should not look like an adult's body. Like they can figure that out. You're in puberty. If you don't have acne, you probably have like boobs that are awkward. And you just, we as parents have to be like, good luck. And I just had a conversation actually with one of my kids this weekend. and we were just saying we were talking about bodies and why is your body like this and my body's like that

and I was like I looked back and I was like the shape of my body has actually like some people stay consistent the different shapes and bumps and roundness and everything of my body has changed with age so much so I was like when I was a teenager these were the things you know when I was thinking about clothes and like what look good on me or what I could wear is so different than the shape of my body now. And I was just telling them, I'm like, your body will change, can. Some people's don't. My catch. Mine hasn't.

No. Mine is pretty consistent. Yeah. And so it's interesting. And we talk about that, right? And yeah. You know, whenever I see someone running, no matter what, I see so many older people running and I'm like, I am so inspired.

You know, and I'm always like, look at that queen go. I know. And it's the other day I was driving. And my daughter was like, look at that queen go. And I didn't even say it. And I was like, you know, what we say matters so much and they won't know where they learn it from and so often kids will say something and think they thought it themselves but it's actually what you've said

and that those conversations come out of their mouths and so if you were talking about your body their body other people's body that is what they will they will think that is their own track your track is their track and they can't decipher the two because they just think you'll say something really great and they'll think they said it I'm like dude I heard you but your dad say that that's not you original and they think it's their original good and bad i love that i love that i mean for better or worse they copy us right so like do your damn best to to speak kindly about yourself and your body and and other people's bodies speak neutrally about about different shapes and sizes because like you said they are they are going to copy and i just love that anecdote that it's so fun

I want to wrap up here by talking a bit about social media because, you know, for people like you and me, this is kind of our job. So it's not always easy to like convince our kids that social media is like dangerous or go bad when this is kind of just like how we make a living. So what are your strategies with your kids then to like navigate all the potential. problematic content that they are going to come across on social media when it comes to nutrition, food, the body checks, the wetting days, the diet trends, all that jazz. I wish I had a better answer for you. And I don't because I think we probably aren't on enough. Like, I wish I could give you, we have this checkpoint, we have this, we don't.

I think I actually started following you when you used to debunk kind of what was, what, what is this nutritionally in a day of? And, you know, I was just talking to Nat about how everyone's an expert and I don't know if kids can decipher like just because they are in gym clothes and they say they have this degree. It doesn't actually mean they do and it doesn't mean they know what's good for you. So I guess we probably have to get better at that conversation, especially with our sons and our daughters in general. But I think we just try to have a healthy environment in the house. And I think that, you know, we just try to be like in real time of we just feed them food and try to make it good. And some days it is and some days it isn't.

But also sometimes when they see things online and they want to tell you about it, they want to talk about it. I would say like, don't just be like, oh, you just saw that thing online. It's like get into a conversation with them about what they saw. And then because often they'll say things. And then you're like, wait, you know that that's not true. true right like you know that what that person isn't an expert and and they're like they could be mind blown sometimes that they didn't like they weren't able to talk to you about it then they would never know the difference oh my gosh my daughter saw the war like she thought you know when

there was a bombing and a thing and I said I said sweetheart there is wars all over the world right now like this is not unique to one situation she's like what I'm like yes and she's like oh Oh, so there's no context for them. They have no perspective. So listen to them, letting them talk so you can help manage the conversation of actually no, no, like listen to an adult because we're the only ones who are your mom or dad or a grandmother or grandfather because there's the only ones who truly care about you with no strings attached.

They're not trying to sell you something. Yeah. And I think that like teaching media literacy like that, especially because social media is such an echo chamber and like you said like you see one video then at least to another and the algorithm kind of takes you in the spiral um where you think that that's just that's truth even though of course it's only showing you per you know perhaps one perspective or one kind of side of a story or whatever so you know i i've started to try to do that with my boys who are not on social media um but you know even just watching a youtube video or something like that i will tell i'll start

to tell them you know boys like you know that i know what what you're seeing that kid do you know that unboxing video like it looks fun but like it actually took that boy a lot of hours to do that that was work and they didn't get to go to soccer they didn't get to build the Lego they wanted to they had to make that video that was work because they're trying to get you to buy something right like I'm starting to try to get that conversation going because of course what they see is just like kids having fun and like getting into fun adventures and I'm trying to peel back that curtain and I think because we work in this industry I have a little bit of insight, but you, all parents can absolutely try to get their kids thinking about what's actually

going behind each of these videos. Abby, parents don't know, and that's the problem. Right. Like, they don't actually know what their kids are doing online. Like, they absolutely don't know. So it is, it's great for us because we consume and we watch, but they don't. And that's what's frightening. Yeah, I think that's the, that's where we need to start is just being absolutely aware of what what our kids can come up against on online because it can be pretty scary and pretty dangerous and just be willing and open to start those conversations like you said because that's that's the key there. So Cat, Nat, this was a blast. I loved this so much. I think like I definitely got some great mom tips here from you guys as pros. Very grateful for that. And of course,

for those listening, definitely check out Cat and Nat Unfiltered. And you've got a lot of show coming up, don't you? Oh my gosh. We're out east in Moncton and Halifax in August 20-something and then December 7th in Toronto. Our annual December to remember show. Okay, love that. I'll be leaving the links in the show notes for where people can buy tickets. So thanks again, ladies. Thank you. Oh my gosh. I love this conversation so much, so fun, but also so, so important. And it brought of a question that I get asked repeatedly from moms, which is how can I raise body confident kids even if I'm battling my own insecurities? And further, what if I want to lose weight,

but I don't want to encourage my own kids to diet or try to lose weight? Raising body confident kids while struggling with our own relationship with food and body can obviously feel a bit like walking a tightrope. But I truly believe that healing can often happen in tandem. So first of all, I always recommend modeling body respect over body love. So this means showing care for your body through nourishment, movement, and rest, and appreciating all the things that it can do, regardless of how you feel about your reflection that day. And when you are having a hard moment, let your child witness your own struggles with a sense of self-compassion and try to demonstrate to them how you're working through it. So for example, with older kids,

you could be totally honest and simply say something like, yeah, you know, I'm just having a bit of a tough body image day, but I know my worth isn't based on my size and I'm going to show my body of respect by feeding it and moving it in a way that feels good. If you are choosing to pursue weight loss or a health-related goal, it is absolutely essential to do so without moralizing food, your body, or your choices. So that means trying to avoid language like, oh, I was so bad yesterday, or I need to work off that dessert, or even criticizing the way your body looks. Even if you are hoping to change your body, you can still talk about food and movement choices as tools for self-care as opposed to tools for punishment.

And perhaps most critically, do not make this a family affair. Don't talk about calories at the table, don't weigh yourself in front of your kids, and don't cut carbs from everyone else's plate. And if they ask why you're not joining in on the ice cream, Sundays. Instead of saying something like, oh, well, mom needs to lose weight, frame it as a choice that you're making that feels good to you. So for very young kids, you can probably keep this super simple and just use it to teach a little bit of body autonomy. So you could say something like, you know, sometimes my body craves ice cream and sometimes it doesn't. And today,

it doesn't. But it looks like your body is telling you that you want ice cream today. And I love that. looks delicious. For slightly older kids who maybe can use a little more nuance or detail about the purpose of foods, you could say something like, I love ice cream, but it doesn't give my body the fuel that it needs to get stronger. So I think I'll save it for another day when I have a little bit more room or when I feel like it. And for teens who are watching us a lot more closely and can easily read between lines. I would be honest, while also being cautious not to tie our choices to body shame or restriction. So I might say something like, I'm just working on being kind to my body and fueling with what helps me feel my best. Sometimes that definitely

means ice cream, but sometimes like today, it just means a piece of fruit. And this watermelon is super delicious. Kids benefit most when they don't see food as a problem that needs to be solved, but as a part of life that can serve as both fuel and also joy. Ultimately, raising body-confident kids doesn't require us to say everything perfectly every time. It just comes down to a little extra intention, humility, and ongoing discussion about the problematic culture that tells them their bodies are wrong. And I'm hoping that content like this can give you the tools that you need to have to help you teach your kids to bite back against that culture. And on that note, a big thank you

again to Kat Nat for kick-starting this amazing conversation. A quick reminder to please leave me a comment and a five-star review and share it with your friends and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. I really, truly appreciate your support. Signing off with Science and Sass, I'm Abby Sharp. Thanks for listening. You know,