Bite Back with Abbey Sharp - Celebrity Diet Culture EXPOSED: Jessi Cruickshank Shares the Most Unhinged Diet Stories from Hollywood

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Here’s a run down of what we discussed in today’s episode:From Tabloids to TikTok: How Fame Has Changed Since the 2000sThe Wildest Celebrity Diets We’ve Ever Heard OfUnhinged Hollywood: Real-Life Diet Culture MomentsOzempic Everywhere: How Weight Loss Meds Are Changing the CultureBodies as Business Cards: Facing Beauty Pressures TodayRaising Confident Kids in a Culture Obsessed with LooksOzempic Talk: Open Secret or Still a Celebrity Taboo?Should Celebs Share Surgery Details? A Mom’s Take“Mom, What Happened to Her Face?”: When Kids Start NoticingComparison vs. Self-Connection: Navigating Beauty in the Age of Influence Check in with today’s amazing guest: Jessi CruickshankWebsite: jessicruickshank.comPodcast: Phone A FriendInstagram:@jessicruickshankFacebook Series: newmomwhodis.comDisclaimer: The content in this episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is never a substitute for medical advice. If you’re struggling with with your mental or physical health, please work one on one with a health care provider.If you have heard yourself in our discussion today, and are looking for support, contact the free NEDIC helpline at 1-866-NEDIC-20 or go to eatingdisorderhope.com.  🥤 Check out my 2-in-1 Plant Based Probiotic Protein Powder, neue theory at www.neuetheory.com or @neuetheory and use my promo code BITEBACK20 to get 20% off your order! Don’t forget to Please subscribe on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts and leave us a review! It really helps us out. ✉️ SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTERS ⤵️Neue Theory newsletterAbbey's Kitchen newsletter 🥞 FREE HUNGER CRUSHING COMBO™ E-BOOK! 💪🏼 FREE PROTEIN 101 E-BOOK! 📱 Follow me! Instagram: @abbeyskitchenTikTok: @abbeyskitchenYouTube: @AbbeysKitchen My blog, Abbey’s Kitchen www.abbeyskitchen.comMy book, The Mindful Glow Cookbook affiliate link: https://amzn.to/3NoHtvf If you liked this podcast, please like, follow, and leave a review with your thoughts and let me know who you want me to discuss next!

Everywhere I walked with her through the party, she was being complimented for the way her body looked. You've never looked better. You look incredible. Oh my God, you're so skinny. And I thought to myself, like, God, that is how eating disorders begin, right? You lose a little weight. You get celebrated for it, and it's a slippery slope. Welcome to another episode of Bite Back with Abby Sharp, where I dismantled die culture. rules, call out the charlatans spinning the pseudoscience, and help you achieve food freedom for good. I, like a good chunk of you listening according to my analytics, I'm a millennial, raised by a 90s to 2000s flavor of diet culture, basically obsessed with low-fat crackers, points counting, weight loss commercials and tabloid covers berating celebrities for their cellulite. And those early life

lessons from celebrity media have had obviously long-lasting effects. So I am very excited to chat with another millennial mom today, the hilarious Jesse Cruikshank, who knows way more about Hollywood's effect on us than I do. Jesse has made a career out of saying the things that we are all thinking. But of course, in a much more funny way. She hosted the iconic The Hills After Show, her Facebook series New Mom Who Diss, and now is super busy fronting her popular podcast phone a friend, tackling everything from Botox to parenting to OZMPIC. Jesse has this brilliant way of poking fun at the absurdity of our culture, while also being incredibly sharp and self-aware. So today we're going to be breaking down all things celebrity diet culture, extreme body expectations in Hollywood, and raising

confident kids in a world obsessed with appearance. Now, before we get into it, a quick note that we will be discussing extreme weight loss and cosmetic surgery in this episode. So if that is not supportive to your journey, I will absolutely catch you next time. And of course, any advice shared is not a replacement for one-on-one support. Finally, if you are not already subscribed, please, please do it. Don't even think about it. Live on the edge. Yolo, hit that subscribe wherever you are listening right now. And please also leave me a little five-star review while you're at it. Just do it now. You know you're going to love this episode. I promise it's going to be really, really great. Okay, let's get into it.

conversation. I am so excited about this conversation. Hi, Abby. Hello. Oh, my God. The Hills After Show, like essential viewing in my early 20s. I was obsessed. Was it really? Fries. Honestly. Thank God you said early 20s because you have no idea how many people come up to me and they're like, I used to watch you when I was a mere baby suckling at my mother's teeth. And I'm like, okay, thank you. Thank you. No, no, that's not me. Love that. And like, you've been commenting on like celebrity culture for like what like 15 years like too many years too many years amazing yeah I think we're at like I think the after show we launched in 2007 um which is was what it was a time it was a time so it's been it's been a while I love that I love it and okay so how do you feel

that like social media has changed the way that like young people are perceiving fame and celebrity versus like how we did back in the 2000s I mean It has changed so much. I think the connection that we feel, and I will include myself in this. I am still young enough, Abby, to not sit here and be like, well, the youths, I feel like the connection that we are able to feel with celebrities is so great, right? And I think that we have our obsession with celebrity culture maybe at an all-time high. lived through 2009. I lived through Lindsay Lowen and Paris Hilton and Britney Spears drunk every night. But like, I think we are at an all-time high and yet the barrier to entry to become a famous person is at an all-time low. So there is this weird balance of like revering these

celebrities and also feeling that we could all be one. And I don't think it is healthy. I really don't. I think I look back to a time when I was a kid and I would get that book. I used to have that book. Did you have this where it had your favorite pop stars physical addresses? Oh yes. Right. So weird. So weird. It was like a scholastic book. Like here's how to write to JTT and the Backstreet Boys. And Abby, I did. I would write letters and occasionally I would get like a weird new kids on the block fan letter back. And that was my, that was as intimate as it got. You had to put a letter in the mail. Now we can watch if you're like a Sean Mendez stand.

You can watch him get ready in the morning and pop in his invisible line and brush his teeth. And I don't know that we should be able to do that because it creates this parisocial relationship that is that is not real. And I think it causes a lot of issues in the long run. I agree. And as millennials, like we have we've such an interesting, I don't know if it's pretty. or just like trauma of just like witnessing that just juxtaposition of like both of those kind of ways of experiencing fame and celebrity where like you know back in the 2000s fame was just like fame was largely gate kept by you know you had to have a lot of talent to be famous yeah to land a record

deal you had to land a breakout acting role they were untouchable right and now like you said like this this boundary is basically just dissolved and and that does create so many issues for comparison, this idea that, well, we should be able to have and do all the things that these people are doing. And do you know, I think it's like, it's complicated because it's good and it's bad. I love, like, for me, I think it was an absolute freak accident that I ended up on television because as many young Canadians, I always wanted to be a much music VJ. I didn't tell anybody because it was like, no one in Vancouver was, it wasn't a realistic dream where I grew up. But I was like, had flaming red hair and was not, did not have big boobs or like I wasn't the archetype for what that like hot, cool girl on much music was. And I applied to be on much music so many times. For years, I sent in headshots. I sent in resumes. I sent in tapes. No response. And so I think it was just like luck that MTV came in and was looking for people with a sense

of humor or personality that I got put on television, but otherwise I don't think I, you know, someone like me would have passed that, that barrier to entry now. I think it's beautiful that anybody who does have talent or that can be seen and can be heard. And yet at the same time, there are millions of people who should not be seen or heard who are taking advantage of their ability to do so, you know? I know, I know. It is complicated. And you're absolutely right. I want to talk specifically now about like celebrity diet trends because I feel like as I was coming of age, every magazine had this like section where Jennifer Aniston or like J. Lo's personal trainer or personal trainer allegedly would just spill the tea on what their daily diet looked like. And it was like always the same shit. It was like same salad with chicken for lunch, salmon with green vegetables, a square of dark chocolate for like, oh, you've got a little sweet tooth. It was very boring, very predictable. 12 almonds. There was always 12. I don't know why I remember that number. 12 almonds. That's how deep dye culture runs. We know how many almonds specifically if we are allowed to have to look like J-Lo. But there's also some like wild celebrity diets that have made the rounds over the years. I'm wondering what is the craziest thing that over the years of documenting celebrity culture that you've heard celebrities doing to maintain their physique?

Oh, gosh. I mean, I've heard all the same things as you have. I, you know, but I remember there are like specific incidences that I have had in real life. One of them was I, when I was at MTV, it wasn't a very glamorous operation. The guests had to use the restroom. They didn't have a private bathroom. They had to use the bathroom that was connected to the makeup room that we all shared. And one day, day we were in the makeup room myself my co-host were getting ready for the show and this pop star a very well-known pop star who was singing on the show walked in closed the door to the bathroom in the makeup room vomited loudly loudly clearly vomiting walked out and closed the door and and and we didn't know if it was just like if it was as normal for her as just going to pee or like it was so um disturbing and it just felt like something that she she was it was just a part of her daily routine and she would there was no shame either it was just like I'm coming to use your bathroom I'm going to throw up my lunch and I'm going to go on stage now that was really traumatic for me

to see I also was one time doing an interview with an actress that we all know and she they the people running the junket came around plassing around a plate of cooking I took a big chocolate chip cookie, and she said to me, are you actually going to eat that? And I was like, oh, like after, I'll eat it after. And she said, ugh, tell me what it tastes like. I haven't had a cookie in 10 years. Oh, no. I was like embarrassed that I took the cookie, but then I have been consumed by that thinking, imagine not eating a chocolate chip cookie for 10 years. I just, I've, I've experienced some things IRL that have been consumed by that thinking, imagine not eating a chocolate chip cookie for 10 years. I just, I just, I've, I've, I've experienced some things. I have. I've experienced. I been been shocking that is that is shocking just hearing that I my my mouth is like on the floor that that's that is crazy I mean to think that is one thing to say it out loud as if that's just like a flex yeah is fucking weird right is is is very disappointing especially to say it to somebody else like as if like what is what was she trying to get across yeah in the same way she was not one of my least I have

Two people that I will say are my least favorite people. She was one of them. Okay. Well, if you listen to my podcast, I'll, I name names. I name names. Oh, name names. That woman was Amber Hurd. Oh, interesting.

Pre-trial. Okay. Post Johnny Depp. It was, she was not the kindest person, so I'll just say that out loud. But she has gone through a lot. And, you know, I'm not, I'm just. Yep. That was my experience.

We will just leave it. Okay, great. Okay. My God. Well, anyone that doesn't eat cookies, I already don't like. I don't know. And you just go like, oh, you had it. You've gone through a lot of things, Amber Heard.

And I have a fucking cookie. Yeah. Just sometimes they work. Sometimes they help, you know. Sometimes they help. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so, you know, it's not just like the J. Lowe's of the world that now we want these, like, diet tips from, like we did back, you know, in the 2000s. It's just like every hot girl in L.A. on, you know, on Instagram, who has a following. There's just such an appetite for diet and wellness advice, which has spread, obviously, a lot of very extra wellness routines, one might say. And I don't know, you're a Canadian. You're a Canadian.

living in L.A. now, that's a big culture shift, I'm sure. Can you, like, spill some Hollywood tea here? Like, what are some unhinged examples of diet culture shit that you've seen that you're just, like, going about your business in L.A., like, strange food requests given to waiters, like, out of touch conversation at Airwans, like, anything that we can giggle about before we get in some dark shit here? Oh, well, I think this is dark shit, too. You know, I will say I, like, I live in L.A., but I live a very Canadian life. Like most of my friends are Canadian. It is prejudice.

I am raising my children in this cute little neighborhood that is very much a bubble. I protect myself and my children from that. But my husband does go to a very bougie equinox, which is on top of an Arawan. And just for people watching purposes, I'm not a gym person, but I have gone with him. And I will like, they used to provide free child care. So when I had my third child and just needed a fucking break, I would be like, here's my one and a half year old. If you need me, I'll be intending to exercise while sitting on a bench staring at people. And one thing that I noted while taking advantage of the free child care at Equinox was that people will come to that gym and work out while someone is filming them working out.

They will bring a videographer. It's not like let me do a set and you film me and then it's no, someone comes with a full on rig with the iPhone. And it's not, we're not talking to camera giving tips. We're just being filmed while we exercise. I'm talking women, men. This is normal behavior in an equinox in Los Angeles. And for me, as someone who has been on camera for almost two decades, the last place I want to be filmed is at the gym whilst exercising. If I see a camera near me while I am going, you know, one kilometer per hour on a treadmill, I will leave.

You know what I mean? Like, what are we doing? It is so embarrassed. I mean, again, I have, I am way too embarrassed to do those kinds of things myself. Like, it's like I'll see people just filming themselves on the beach doing things. And I'm always just like, oh, God. Like I'm so happy you have that level of confidence because they just like, it's like they don't see that anyone else is watching them or around them. There's just like no, there's just no awareness of the world around.

But I cringe when I watch it because I know, oh my God, I could never do that. Like that's especially a gym. Me too. And by the way, I would be so much more successful if I did. If I did not have that part of my brain that was humiliated to talk to a phone in public, I would, I would. I would probably be, you know, sitting in a much larger Beverly Hills home right now, Abby. But I'm sorry. It's the Canadian in me. I have a little bit of shame and I'm okay with that. I think it's, I think it's a good, that's a good shame to have in this, in this situation. Yes. Yeah. Okay. That's shocking.

Okay. So this, this, this also kind of, you know, has me thinking a bit about the ozantic boom that is obviously happening everywhere. But I have heard it's most obvious in celebrity hotspots like L.A. And I'm curious, like, since these medications have gone mainstream, have you noticed any kind of abrupt shift in L.A. culture, the restaurants, the grocery shopping, fitness, just in general. It's interesting. I haven't noticed it, you know, mostly just because I have three young children and I don't go out. But I do have, I have three close friends. One is a couple who have gone on a medication together and another friend and a family member who are on it. And so observing the impact it's had on their lives has been quite fascinating. Every person is different.

But, you know, a family member of mine was in town. We hadn't seen her for a while. She had been on a, what is it called, a G-L-G-L-1, Receptor Agonist. That's what I said. That's exactly what I said. She had been on one of those. And everywhere I walked with her through the party, she was being complimented for the way her body looked. You've never looked better. You look incredible. Oh, my God, you're so skinny. And I thought to myself, like, God, that is how eating disorders begin, right? You lose a little weight. You get celebrated for it. And it's a slippery slope. And people, I think, on those medications are experiencing the same thing. And I don't know that she necessarily feels as good inside as people are telling her that she feels she looks. So it's been sort of interesting to observe my close friends in Los Angeles and family members and how the world at large has reacted to them and to that, to the change in their bodies. Yeah, you absolutely nailed it. And I think, you know, I always tell people that it's, it's, it is, don't comment on

people's bodies, period. You know, like, you know, whether you think it's a calm. compliment, you just don't know what that's going to trigger in somebody. You know, if they have, you know, struggle with an eating disorder in the past, for example, and, you know, maybe they put some weight on and it looks good. And you say, oh, my God, you look so much better now. You look so much healthier. To someone that has an ED brain mindset, that's going to clock as, oh, my God, I'm fat now. I don't want to look like that. As crazy as that sounds to somebody who hasn't struggled, that's, that's the interpretation. And then likewise, with somebody who has lost weight, even if they wanted to lose weight, the risk is, of course, in them, you know, feeling like, okay, if I've lost this much weight and I look good and I'm getting compliments, then if I lose more, I'm going to get even more praise.

And this is how my eating disorder started too. I didn't mean to lose weight. I did. Got compliments. And I thought, oh, well, if I'm, you know, doing this and it's getting me this amount of praise, I want more. I want more. Because I'm a dopamine seeker. Like, you know, I love it. And it is such a slippery slope. And then it also teaches people that, you know, well, what happens if I gain weight? Am I going to be back to the bottom? And people going to really judge me because I, you know, I had, I was on top of the world. And the like it's the highest highs and the lowest lows kind of experience. And that fear of gaining weight back is so all consuming. It's it's it is truly devastating. So I'm, I'm hoping that your friends are able to kind of keep that in check. But it's my recommendation to everyone listening is just to, you know, keep your comments, your body comments to yourself. Complement them on the color of their shirt. Yes. Or some of who was on a on a g-l whatever abby said told me um that you should just ask people are you happy instead of saying you look great what are you doing what's your secret commenting on there

physical appearance if you haven't seen someone in a while ask them if they're happy ask them what they're doing praise them for something about their personality or their achievement or their family like that is so much more impactful and we do it so rarely um and i just I learned from that friend. And I, you know, yeah, I think that's the best thing we can do. That's a great, great tip. I'm also curious because, again, like, the pressures on women to look a certain way in L.A. are just, like, next level aggressive.

And, you know, appearance is like this form of currency, almost. And bodies are business cards. And, you know, with someone who didn't grow up in L.A., I'm kind of curious, like, how that experience of, like, heightened body surveillance surveillance and expectations have like felt to you or if you've just like really done a like a hard job of insulating yourself from that um you know it is a like when i first got here i i should have been arrested for how aggressively i would stare at people because i was so thrown by how the physical appearance of so many women in particular um and now i fear i think the sad thing is

that that has become normalized for me and certainly via social media. And, you know, here, if you, I probably, people probably get into car accidents looking at me because I have a normal face with like a pronounced nose and regular size lips and wrinkles, right? You don't see that often. And I mean that in parts of L.A. You see the big Kylie Jenner lips, you see tight faces. You see women who I think are in their 20s and like have had tons of filler in Botox. And that is normal here. That is a normal appearance here. And so it does sort of skew. It has like fucked with me a little bit. I find myself looking at all of us celebrating Chris Jenner. This woman is in her late 60s and we can't we are oh, who did her? work. She's never looked better. Like, I find myself going, do I need a mini facelift? Should I look like Lindsay Lohen? Like, it's, it's so pervasive and it feels so accessible now, especially living here when Chloe, you know, posted about her thread tightening procedure, I legitimately clicked on the

Instagram account and thought maybe I should go here because it's available to me and it's here. So, yeah, it is a slippery slope. It's dangerous living in L.A. I am very grounded by my Canadian friends and also just by my kids. Like, I got to spend money on summer camp. What am I doing spending money on a lower bleroplasty fate? Like, I can't. I just, it's not realistic for me.

You have free kids. It's crazy. I mean, an American dollars, yikes. And you mention your kids. And kids are just so perceptive, right? They ask questions. They notice. I'm kind of curious how, you know, you've got a daughter, right? So who's fucking adorable, by the way, just all your kids are little stars. I love, love, love watching them. I'm curious, like, how you plan to or how you are trying to kind of manage those pressures and that, just that pervasive messaging and what you're seeing all the time and what your kids are seeing to kind of try to insulate them or set a positive example for them. Can I ask you that question? Because I feel like you could answer this question for me. And it's something that I ask myself a lot. For me, I just went on a national comedy tour. And my kids, this is my third tour. My kids have never seen me on stage. I leave for months at a time and they're like, we don't know what our mom does or where she goes. And so I flew them out to my final show in Toronto this year. And my twins are seven. My daughter is four. my fucking adorable daughter, to quote Abby. And they got to watch me, not the entire show, because it is not appropriate for children, but they got to watch me come out on stage to 2,500 screaming people and dance and be stupid and silly and confident and powerful and funny and smart. And like that is the message I want to send to my kids is just like that confidence in who I am. And I think that.

I have had a career because I am funny, not because of how I look or because of my personality. And that is an important thing I want to communicate to my kids. But I ask the question to you, Abby, because my boys are now, they talk about fat as an insult. They have heard that. And I don't know how to send the right messaging for them other than, you know, I try to say like everybody's body is different. But I turn to you. What is your advice? Yeah. I mean, you know, diet culture is just such a monster. And I feel like as parents, it's like a David and Goliath situation to try to fight it every single day. There's only, you know, like you said, like kids are going to hear these things. They're seeing it like the media. Like even watching, you know, Disney movies, for example, who it's always the, the fat person is always the comedic sidekick. They're always the dumb one. They're always the, you know, the goofy one. They're never the protagonist. Never this, you know, like now things are getting a little bit better, obviously.

like Disney movies of like when we were younger, but still like kids are still getting that message, right? And so I think there's, you know, there's only so much we can do to protect them. But what we can do is focus for one thing on how we talk about our bodies and food and other people's bodies, you know, being careful not to look at ourselves in the mirror and say something, oh my gosh, like I got like at the cellulite coming or like, oh, I'm like, I'm so bloated. I look so fat today. I can't wear this. not saying, oh no, I can't eat that ice cream with you, honey, because I'm on a diet or I ate really bad yesterday. I need to be good today. So use very neutral kind of non-moralizing language when it comes to food. And I think also exposing our kids to, you know, books and shows and adults and coaches that reflect diverse bodies and just more balanced approaches to wellness. And and also, you know, this is something that, especially when you have young kids, we think it's not relevant because maybe. maybe they're not on social media themselves. But I think we can start to teach our kids, you know, some critical media analysis skills

from an early on, you know, early age. Interesting. And you know what? I think for people like you and I who work behind a camera and our kids kind of see, like, elements of that, we can more easily say, like, guys know, like, you know how much work goes into editing these things. Like, we add this. We color correct.

We do this. Like, we're adding all of these bells and whistles to make. it look good and to piece it together, but it's not real life. And so, you know, my boys, if they're watching, like, they, you know, occasionally will watch like a Mr. Beast or something, and they just think, oh, yeah, this guy's so cool and this is like so, so much fun. And I always try to remind the kids, like, you know what? A lot of work goes into that. And then that kid who's doing that unboxing toy, you know, thing, that kid, he didn't get to go to soccer because he was, he was creating this. And he's, he's creating this because he, you know, he's, he's getting

paid and it takes a lot of cuts, a lot of edits and a lot of, you know, doing the script over and over again. I try to really be like, this is not just him, like, talking to a camera. This is work and this is, this is all just kind of a bit of a facade. And you can start that conversation relatively young with children. That's so, that's so interesting. You know, it's funny is we live in Studio City and literally every single parent at my kid's school is in the entertainment industry. So it's like they'll be watching, you know, is it cake? And like three dads from their class are just on the panel. It's so odd how normal, like Jeremy Allen White from the bear as a dad at our kid's school. And there are billboards all over our neighborhood with his face. And that is

totally normal that like so-and-so's dad is on a billboard. And so it's hard to sort of like have that critical eye in the media and explain to them that that is not normal in all other parts of the world. You're right. Yeah, no, that is a very unique challenge. But I think just having those conversations and explaining, especially when you know you travel elsewhere as well. So very, very interesting. You know, the other thing I was going to ask is about, you know, you brought up earlier about kids making comments about, oh, that person's, you know, fat, that person, you know, and again, with Ozmpic, like you mentioned, you've got friends, you've got family members who are on these medications. And therefore, we know that the, you know, the body transformation is, is quite dramatic in a lot of cases. Have your kids ever kind of noticed or asked you about someone's like rapid transformation? Yes. But again, this is, I'm so glad you brought this up because then I'm going to ask you what I did wrong, which was a very close relative, had gone away to college. They had not seen her in a long time. She came back at Christmas. We're in a kitchen filled with family members. My boys who love her run up to her. She grabs one of them in her arms. And he says, you got so fat. You have such a big belly. and he starts touching her belly.

And thank God she defused the situation. But the gasps in the room, for me it was like you could hear a pin drop. Every part of me wanted to say like, don't say that. Stop. It's bad to say that. But you can't say that to a seven-year-old. And I just, you know, afterwards, after time had passed, we had a conversation about how, you know, we don't comment on other people's bodies. But I just, it was really hard.

I didn't know how to navigate that situation and I felt really embarrassed like I had done something wrong for my child to even say something in the first place and you haven't because kids are just they're perceptive and they hear the word fat they know that a larger body is fat

and so they're just calling it out and you know again they might have some kind of they may especially this happens very early that they start to get these messages like I said from media from other people that like fat is, calling someone fat is kind of like that. Like it's something you don't want to be.

And so I try to just neutralize that. I try to squash it just being like, yeah, well, everyone's got fat. And, you know, fat is just, you know, energy, the storage of energy on the body. Yeah. Body's coming different shapes and sizes. And then on the flip side, again, like if we're talking about somebody who has lost a lot of weight or change their, like, again, you live in L.A. Maybe they got a facelift or, you know, full body makeover, like swan style, if we remember that. Absolutely fucking crazy show.

Yes. So, you know, if that were to happen, you know, first of all, I would be careful never to say like, oh, yeah, they ruin their face. Or like, yeah, they look so much better now. Like I would just kind of, depending on the age, obviously, I would say something like, you know, sometimes adults choose to change something about how they look. You know, when I cut my hair, sometimes I paint my nails differently. You know, we all have those choices to make. But it's very important to know that we don't need to change anything to be valuable or loved or enough. And our bodies are just amazing the way that they are.

Writing that down. Making that down. We don't need to change anything to have value. I love that because, you know, one of my sons has really started noticing when I put on makeup, as I'm showing you my large false eyelashes I'm wearing just for you today for this audio medium. my son has started to say like mom you don't need makeup why do you put on makeup and that's that's sweet and I think that there is I often say like I like it doing it I like it makes me feel a certain way but I think you're right to emphasize that like it doesn't add value it doesn't change who I am

exactly yeah just like slipping that in there yeah is is is just it just kind of helps to like round it out so that folks know that no matter what happens to our bodies. And our bodies are going to change too, right? Our bodies are going to get bigger, smaller. They may change depending on different stages of the life cycle, menopause, pregnancy, hopefully not again. And God, no. But, you know, so I think it's just good to have those conversations so that when our bodies do change, then they're kind of ready to just see them neutrally. You know, neutralize. Okay. Neutralize. Okay. Neutralize. Yes. everything yeah amazing okay so I don't know I feel like we got a lot of good stuff in here let's write

some scripts out let's like practice them I need to practice them because you know I do I actually I will write things out and because when you're in the moment with one of those like big yes you just panic you're just like oh fuck I'm not ready for this like literally like me too I'm like this is my moment this is my moment and then I say something ridiculous or you know I just stumble through So I sometimes actually do practice these things. It's the theater girl in me. I do, too. And this is where I wrote this down.

But then I also find myself being like, that's a very difficult question. You ask, let me just watch this Dr. Becky video and reply to it in two and a half minutes. You don't want to be that either. So, yeah, I think it's just, it's practice. It's practice. And it's getting on the same page as your partner because I will hear my husband say things And I'm like, what? What did you just say from across the kitchen casually that will impact your child for eternity?

Like, we also have to be on the same page. That is actually a whole other can of worms. It's getting everyone on the same page. The family members, the husband or dad, because usually that's where things fall apart. Yeah. And that's true. No, that always. I believe what Abby just said is usually the spouse or the husband is where things fall apart.

And that's accurate. That's accurate. It's very accurate. I think it's just accurate on everything, really. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Jesse, this was so much fun and also very inlining conversations. So I loved it. And for those who are not already, I highly recommend checking out Jesse's podcast, call a friend. It's fucking hilarious, super relatable. And I love every minute of it. So thank you so much, Jesse. It is my absolute honor. Thank you. I realize you have medical professionals, scientists, doctors on this podcast. So do I get some kind of an honor?

degree just from appearing on it? Does that come with it? Of course. Jesse Crookshank, MD. Just throw it in now. Yeah, I love that. Thank you so much. That was so, so much fun. I truly love that. And it really got me thinking a lot about the intersection of celebrity culture and diet culture. You know, in this unprecedented era of hypervisibility and hypervisibility and hyper. control, we are no longer observing beauty ideals from afar like we did with celebrity culture in the 2000s. And as our proximity to celebrities, aka influencers, narrow, and the tools and technology available to quote unquote improve ourselves expands, so too does the pressure to use them. As I've reinforced throughout this episode, I have zero judgments about using

any of these tools, even if it's solely for aesthetic purposes. I want people to know that I think it's totally normal and expected to want to change something about your appearance, whether that's losing weight, getting Botox, or buying that bag that makes you feel like a boss. But the why here is what really does matter. Are you doing it to feel more like yourself, or because you feel like you're falling behind in a culture that it's completely normalized extreme change. It's sometimes very hard to tease our own desires away from those grounded in social comparison, but one way to do this is to ask yourself if you would still want to make that change if no one else ever saw the result. If not,

it might be comparison, not self-connection driving that decision. If you're finding yourself driven by others' perceptions of beauty, take a step back to try to work on your own sense of self-worth before chasing someone else's definition of it. This means aiming to practice body respect over body obsession by wearing clothing that fit your shape, eating meals that satisfy you physically and emotionally,

and moving in ways that feel joyful, not punishing. It also means anchoring your worth in your values, relationships, and contributions, not just your reflection. And if after you've done all that work to reclaim your own true values and you feel confident that your desire to make an aesthetic change comes from self-connection, not social comparison, the next step is to move forward with intention, self-compassion, and informed consent. Ultimately, change does not have to mean self-rejection.

When approached with clarity, kindness, and autonomy, aesthetic choices can coexist with self-acceptance and body respect. The difference is you are in the driver's seat. Not the algorithm and definitely not the culture of comparison that will always tell you something else is wrong. And thank you folks for coming to my TED Talk. But a big, big thank you to Jesse for helping me bite back against diet culture. I learned so much from our chat and I really, really enjoyed it. I hope you did too. Thank you all so much for listening.

If you liked this episode, I would love if you would give Byteback a five-star review. And leave me a little comment and, of course, subscribe wherever you get your podcast because it really does help me out. But signing off with Science and Sass. I'm Abby Sharp. Thanks for listening. You know what I'm going to be.