Bite Back with Abbey Sharp - The Crushing Pressure to be Thin- Sierra Schultzzie on Escaping Diet Culture and Finding Body Positivity

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

On today’s episode of Bite Back with Abbey Sharp, we dive into body positivity with lifestyle content creator Sierra Schultzzie. Sierra opens up about body kindness and confidence as a mom of young children, her journey with PCOS, diet, and food, and how she shares creativity and self-love through her content. I will also be sharing actionable tips on how to show your body kindness, even when you’re not feeling super body positive. Join us for an empowering episode!Don’t forget to Please subscribe on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts and leave us a review! It really helps us out.Check in with today’s amazing guest Sierra Schutzzie!Tiktok: @schultzzieInstagram: @schultzzieYoutube: @SierraSchultzzieTrigger Warning: This episode includes discussion about dieting and the pressure to be thin.If you have heard yourself in our discussion today, and are looking for support, contact the free NEDIC helpline at 1-866-NEDIC-20 or go to eatingdisorderhope.com. 🥤 Check out my 2-in-1 Plant Based Probiotic Protein Powder, neue theory at www.neuetheory.com or @neuetheoryDon’t forget to Please subscribe on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts and leave us a review! It really helps us out. ✉️ SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTERS ⤵️Neue Theory newsletterAbbey's Kitchen newsletter 🥞 FREE HUNGER CRUSHING COMBO™ E-BOOK! 💪🏼 FREE PROTEIN 101 E-BOOK! Disclaimer: The content in this episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is never a substitute for medical advice. If you’re struggling with with your mental or physical health, please work one on one with a health care provider. 📱 Follow me! Instagram: @abbeyskitchenTikTok: @abbeyskitchenYouTube: @AbbeysKitchen My blog, Abbey’s Kitchen www.abbeyskitchen.com My book, The Mindful Glow Cookbook affiliate link: https://amzn.to/3NoHtvf If you liked this podcast, please like, follow, and leave a review with your thoughts and let me know who you want me to discuss next!

You know, despite being at an age where I had so many other things going on, I should have been thinking about that. And, you know, I was really active. I was playing sports, but none of that really mattered to me because it was all about thinness. Hey everyone, and welcome to another episode of Bite Back with Abbey Sharp. On today's episode, we will be chatting body positivity with lifestyle content creator Sierra Schulze. And a really quick trigger warning, we will be briefly talking about disordered eating today, so please feel free to skip this video if that's not supportive to your journey. sierra schultze is truly a veteran content creator with two million people following her through pregnancy postpartum and family life from fashion beauty travel food and parenting

she has built quite the catalog of content that's uniquely situated through the lens of body kindness and confidence. But with that many touch points, there's so much opportunity to bring in hostile opinions and hate. And I am so interested to know how one can overcome that kind of negativity online and still continue to represent such a beacon of positivity and light. Abby, that was so kind. That was like the sweetest type of I've ever had. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. Of course. So let's hop in. Like you've been at this for like since 2014. You're an OG YouTuber. What was your goal when you first started to create content? It's so funny to hear you call me an OG YouTuber, because in my brain, when I started, I was so late. Like when I started creating content, I had been watching, in my mind, the OGs, you know, for

three, four or five years, which felt like an eternity. Because I was 19 when I started. And I remember feeling like, oh, I wish I would have, you know, started this. So like forever ago, I would have, you know, had such a better head start. And it's funny now looking back and being like, wow, I'm so glad that I started when I did. Oh, for sure. And if you're able to, can you tell me a little bit about like your past with diet culture and restrictive eating and body, you know, insecurity? Yeah. So growing up, I felt like I was always just a little bit away from being happy with my body, that if I could just lose a little bit of weight or restrict a little bit more, that I would finally be happy. And so I was always kind of chasing this number feeling like I just, you know, if I just get here, all my problems will be solved. And I feel like pretty much my the entirety of my teen years are characterized by this desire to be thin, this, you know, chasing

of thinness, despite being at an age where I had so many other things going on, I should have been thinking about that. And, you know, I was really active. I was playing sports, but none of that really mattered to me because it was all about thinness. And I finally, when I was 18 years old, I finally reached what I thought was that magic number that would solve all of my problems.

And I had never been more insecure in my entire life. And it was all I could think about at all times was what I looked like, you know, how, what my, you know, next thing was going to be and always thinking about food and exercise. And it just, what I thought was going to be freeing getting to that point that then I don't have to worry about it. Uh, it just kind of overtook my life. And from there, I shortly after that started YouTube and really publicly discovered this community online of people who are like, actually, you don't have to live like this. You know, there are, there's another way of thinking and you don't

have to let this rule your life. And, you know, size is just a number. And that as simple as those things sound to me now, after having been on this journey of, you know, accepting myself and loving myself for 10 years, that was like revolutionary. And it changed my life, it became a huge part of my content going through that journey. And, you know, it's something that I'm still working at every day, but I has truly been so freeing. I love that it absolutely absolutely is so freeing. I'm so happy that, you know, you, you found that kind of sense of food freedom. What was the pivot point for you? Like what made you change the way that you were looking at your body every day? You know, I had started to dip my toe into that by following people online who were talking about

that. I was really inspired by that, but to me, that felt so far off. Like, I could never think like that. But I want I want to and I want to get there. So started listening to more creators who were, you know, talking about that started just consuming more content around that. I think that was kind of the first shift. But I had a really big pivot point when I was engaged. And my one of my relatives showed me a photo of myself that had been at a time when I was heavily restricting myself, I was deeply unhappy. And the photo was also facetuned to hell. Because I still wasn't happy with the way that I looked, you know, I would try to change it in photos. And she showed me this photo and said, let this be some motivation for you for your wedding that's coming up.

And that was so devastating to me. And it was really my mom who sat down with me and was like, let's like unpack that. Like why? Like, obviously, that's a terrible thing to say. But you know that this person that rules their life, you don't want to be like that. And like like just really kind of dived into it with me and helped me unpack that and I remember sitting there feeling like am I really gonna let my wedding be and all of my memories from marrying like this person that I want to be with forever be characterized by like whether or not I get to a certain size

like is that really what I want this to be about? Like how weird when you really think about it. Um, and from there, I think that was kind of like my point of no return of like, I will never allow myself to be consumed like that again. I love that. And, and I love that you've just been so open about that, that journey. And it is a journey, right? Like, you know, these things are never black and white. They're never like A to B. But like at this point in your tenureship of content creation, you know, I feel like a lot of people may characterize you as being like a body positive creator. I'm curious how you feel about these labels or how you identify. You know, I feel like for a while I really felt connected to the term, you know,

body positive. And in a lot of ways I still do. I think body positivity is what I strive for. Like that's where I would love to be. I would love to be at a place where I feel so positive about my body and that I can say with my whole chest, like I love my body. My body is amazing. But I think sometimes in, in grabbing onto that label so tightly, I almost made, made myself feel like I had to be that way all the time. Um, and so, and something I try to be really cognizant of is not stepping into like toxic positivity, right? Where we don't allow ourselves to feel negative emotions and that it has to be this way all the time. And so I've lately kind of stepped more into like somewhat of like a body neutral space for just myself personally, where I'm at, especially

postpartum, like it's just such a whirlwind. But I feel like overall, I just kind of consider myself on this like self-love journey in all aspects that like I'm working on myself, you know, in my, I'm working on my head space and where I am in terms of my body, but also in terms of my mental health. And I'm working on improving myself and all of these aspects of my life and just wanting to be the most present that I can be, be the best version of myself, show up as, you know, the most genuine version of myself that I can be the best mom that I can, but also not expect myself to do that every day. And so I think I, I don't know if I would even really label myself as that anymore, more so just, I guess, self-love, self-acceptance. I love that. And, you know, I think that's really

like so important because I don't think people realize that, you know, what we see on social media is just like a highlight reel. It's like very carefully curated to convey a specific message. But in reality, like we know that recovery from diet culture or from disordered eating, it's like never a clean A to B trajectory, right? Like even as far as I've come, like just, you know, no different than you, like I'm always going to have to surveil the grounds for potential triggers and give myself grace when I have a less than body positive thought. Right. But I think that's really important to acknowledge that, you know, loving your body doesn't mean thinking that it's like you look amazing every single day

of every moment of the day forever. I think it just kind of does a disservice to pretend that being positive means just like fangirling over yourself all the time. Because I also think it kind of sets people up to feel like they're failing to even make strides to improve their relationship with food and their body when they do have one of these moments when they're feeling like a little more, you know, insecure. Yeah, absolutely. I think that's so important. And I think it's just, you know, like allowing space for yourself to be in that range of everything. But also knowing that by doing that work, even if you have those thoughts, it is obviously the first step and, uh, and, and getting that practice in is so important. Um, but speaking of practice, I want to talk about some strategies that have worked for you. Um, because like your catchphrase for laugh, for lack of a better term,

I guess, is be kind to your body, which I love because I think it really speaks to something that we can all do, even when we're not, you know, vibing with the way our body looks and, you know, any given day. But can you give our listeners some examples of ways that you show your body kindness, even if you're not like obsessed with how it looks on a particular day? Yeah, I think being kind to my body takes so many different forms. I think the easiest place for me to always start is to not speak about my body in a negative way. That especially goes now that I have kids and especially having girls, I want to be so careful about what I say about myself and how I talk about my body. And I want to treat my body with kindness, talk about my body

kindly. I think that also goes in terms of exercise. That's on both ends. That's, you know, hey, I want to connect with my body. I want to move my body. I want to make my body feel good, but also on the sense of I'm not going to allow myself to over-exercise. I'm not going to use exercise to punish my body if I feel like I went too long without a workout or I, you know, ate more than I could have. And I just want to always approach eating exercise the way I speak about myself with first and foremost, just kindness. Yep.

I love that. And, you know, you brought up your girls and I think there's like obviously so much unlearning and relearning that we have to do as part of this process. And I think about my own kids as these like blank slates almost where they've been unexposed to the toxic diet culture 2000s and the tabloids about women's cellulite and, you know, celebrities gaining or losing 10 pounds or whatever. And I get super mama bear protective over this kind of stuff. And I hear this from so many of my viewers who are also parents or are becoming

parents, that they are terrified of passing down their problematic relationships with food and their body to their children. I mean, you kind of you brought up a family member, for example, who made that comment about you. It's like generational diet culture, it runs deep, it's hard to it's hard to, to break those habits. And I fear this for my boys, but you've got two girls who are arguably far more susceptible to comments about bodies and food. So I'm kind of curious, you know, you mentioned speaking kind to you know, about yourself in front of your girls, what are some other kind of ways that you're kind of rewriting the script for them? Yeah, I try to be really aware of the way

that I talk about food. My oldest is three. So we're really just kind of starting this, but it's something that I've tried to, to just be, you know, aware of myself since the very beginning. And, you know, and even just like introducing solids, we don't talk about good and bad food. We focus on what the things are in the food that can, what they can do for our body and talking about, you know, this thing has fiber in it. So that'll help you do this. And this has protein in it. This, you know, we talk about that instead of this is junk, this is bad and this is good. Um, we also talk a lot about like fun food, fuel food, you know, um, it's also been just really interesting to navigate in terms of like wanting to not just think about right now and how this is affecting her and how we're approaching it but that the things that

we're saying and the the attitudes and you know routines that we're setting up that's gonna be with her for life and so wanting to really think about how this will affect her down the road which can be a lot of pressure but it's so important And I think if there's anything that I want to do in terms of, you know, food and diet and exercise with my kids, it's to make sure that it doesn't rule over their life. And it can just be something and their bodies too, that it can just be something that is, and it doesn't have to be good or bad or something that they think about it all hours of the day. And I'm sure that as, especially as they get older, they are going to be getting so much of that messaging that I'm trying to stop from the outside world. And I think it's just preparing them as much as I can in my house to have a really strong sense of self,

have a really good foundation, you know, so that they can go out and into the world feeling very sure of themselves and at least doing what I can on that. Yeah, I mean, you're right. Like, as parents, we can only control so much. And that's probably the most frustrating thing about parenting, you do everything you can to raise your kids a certain way. And then society takes hold. And you just kind of have to, you know, try to pick up the pieces as they come and unpack those things. For me, you know, I always try to sit my kids down and get curious when they come to me with certain, you know, diet culture statements that they are already hearing at four and six at school. You know, like so-and-so said that this food, like tacos were unhealthy or bad or junk. And I always kind of like, I'm actually just like,

let's get curious about that. Like, what do you think? What do you think? How do you feel about that? You know, I always tell them like, no foods are good, no foods are bad, and no foods are inherently unhealthy or unhealthy in the context of, you know, the full diet. So I'm always about varieties of spice of life. That's what I always tell my kids. You know, speaking of diets, I kind of want to talk about your PCOS journey for a second, because anyone who has or knows anything about PCOS knows that is a minefield out there when it comes to restrictive diet tips. Like you go on Google and you Google PCOS diet and you're going to get cut out gluten, cut out dairy, cut out sugar, cut out all these things, right?

Everything's bad. How have you been able to reject that kind of restrictive mentality while learning to eat intuitively, but also eating in a way that supports your PCOS management? Yeah, it, you know, it's definitely a journey and I'm definitely imperfect with it, but I think a huge thing that helped me was, uh, shortly after I got diagnosed, I started working with a PCOS dietitian who took a very, you know, body neutral, a very like intuitive approach to it. And she didn't really use a lot of the language that I had associated with what a diet would be, right? And she really approached things from like, how can we make lasting changes? I'd rather do that and have it be, you know, imperfect, then throw everything out, change

your whole life, you know, start from scratch and have it be something that you can stick with for, you know, six weeks. And yeah, right. And, and, and have it be all that I think about. And that was huge for me because, um, I think so much of even just the word diet, right, was like so taboo for me. But realizing that, you know, it doesn't have to be the way that I had dieted when I was in my very restrictive time. And so I learned a lot from her, worked with her a lot. And I think just trying to make those lasting changes, trying

to like truly take it just like meal by meal, um, and allow myself to still live life, you know, and, and to not let this be something that takes over my whole life, but also try to eat in a way that is gonna, you know, make my body function better as someone with PCOS. It's just a balance and it's something I'm still working at every day. And honestly, I feel like like your content helps me so much in learning about all of this. And there, there's just so many great resources online, but you do have to be careful online too, because like you said, a blanket Google search is going to turn up a bunch of stuff that can really just send you through a loop. 100%. Yeah.

And I think this is something that's, you know, a lot of people really struggle with. Is this all or nothing? Whether, you know, you're either restricting all the things to be good or you're eating whatever you want because, you know, in the name of anti-diet culture. But I feel like that's co-opting the movement in a lot of ways. Like that's not what intuitive eating is at its core. It's about self-care, right? It's about honoring your body's needs and what feels good to your body. And I think people really lose sight of that as well. And that's kind of one of the big criticisms I see about things like intuitive eating and food freedom is just like to eat whatever you want diet. But, but no, for example, like if you feel that you are feeling better, if you have fiber or you have

protein at a meal or whatever, that is an act of self-care. You, you were doing that with compassion for your body and your body's true needs. Um, so that's not, you know, that's not exactly the same as putting yourself on a thousand calorie diet and not eating until 2 p.m. in the name of trying to kind of lose weight and punish yourself for, you know, not, you know, not going to the gym the day before or whatever. Has there been anything specific that you've done with your diet that maybe your dietitian recommended that was like a real aha moment for managing PCOS, but without dipping into those restrictive habits? I think just trying to pair protein with carbs. Yeah. You know, that like for when I first got

diagnosed with PCOS, and I saw, you know, it's better to be, you know, lower carb, I was like, I'm vegetarian, and I eat so many carbs, and like, everything that I like is carbs. And right, I felt myself getting into that headspace again, of, you, the two thousands where it's like, you know, caught ditch, the carbs, carbs are terrible and all this stuff. Um, but realizing that like carbohydrates are just another thing that your body needs. And with PCOS, if I pair it with a protein, my body's going to process it better. And so that doesn't mean that I can't have carbohydrates. It just means that my body's going to process it better when I pair it with a protein. And so I try to do carbohydrates. It just means that my body's going to process it better when I pair it with a protein. And so I try to do that. Sometimes I don't, and that's okay too.

I love that. And that's a great attitude. But you know, I always tell people like diet culture doesn't own these things, right? It doesn't own salad. It doesn't own protein. You know, it's not succumbing to toxic restrictive forces to want to include these things in your diet. This is just an act of self-care. And I always tell people like whether or not a quote unquote healthy choice that you make is rooted in diet culture or self-care, it's highly individualized, right? And you have to kind of ask yourself some of these questions to really understand that, you know, does it feel punishing? Does it feel like self-care? Does it feel good to your body? And if you, you know, does it feel punishing? Does it feel like self-care? Does it feel good to your body? And if you, you know, I find a lot of people can't even kind of answer those questions or figure that out until they give themselves that unconditional permission to make choices freely.

And it sounds like that's been really important for you. Yeah. That whole idea of adding something instead of taking it away, that was like revolutionary for me. Cause I'm like, wait, if I'm eating one of the things that's right, bad, right. If I'm having a slice of toast, I shouldn't eat anything else because that already is, you know, what, what's in the bad category in my mind. And my dietician was like, well, yeah, have like, have the slice of toast. Could you also have, could you pair it with some yogurt or, you know, could you have like a protein shake? Could you have some peanut butter with it? And I'm like, well, I should, I should eat more with it. Like, right. That was so strange to me. And that was, I just think a huge, just reframing in my brain. And I,

I love what you said too, about like the diet culture doesn't own these things. Um, cause I think it can be so easy, especially when you're just starting to unlearn all of this stuff to categorize black and white, right? Like this is diet culture. So this is bad and this is intuitive eating. So this is good, but there is so much crossover. And I think to just categorize all that stuff as, you know, negative, it almost lets them win. It does let them win. It lets diet culture win. It lets it own everything. You know, ultimately you have to kind of ask yourself what, what is feeling good to my body in that moment. And sometimes the answer to that is going to be straight up pasta on its own or a scoop of ice cream or an

Oreo cookie. And sometimes what is going to feel best to you is, is legitimately a fresh kind of vegetable rich salad. So, you know, I think really just giving yourself that opportunity to tune into your body and doing that really requires that unapologetic, you know, judgment-free, shame-free approach to eating. It's the only way to really get in tune with your true needs. So I'm so grateful that, you know, you've really made such strides in your own journey, whether, you know, that's through your PCOS journey and through, you know, your body kindness journey. And I'm just so grateful that you've been kind of sharing that with the world. It's something that we need more of online right now. So thank you so much, Sierra. Thank you so much. And thank you for

what you do. I think there's such a need for it. You know, I think there's value in the perspective, you know, of me of just being a normal person trying to figure this out, but there's so much value in someone who has the education and the credentials and, you know, is a registered dietitian to say, Hey, this is actually how it works. Um, and I really look to you and so much of that. So thank you for what you do and you're bringing so much important work and credibility to the space online. Oh, thank you. And if you are not already following or watching Sierra, I'm going to be leaving some links in the show notes so that you can find some ways to get your fix.

Thanks again, Sierra. Thanks, Abby. Thank you so much. The past decade has brought overwhelming attention to body positivity and adjacent movements with celebrities, social media influencers, and brands using their voice to enforce the benefits of self-love. And while a history of the movement and its original benefactors are ultimately outside the scope of this episode, there is no doubt that its meaning and purpose is often contested and critiqued. However you want to define body positivity, there are many like Sierra who don't completely identify with the insinuation that one must love how their body looks every hour of every day. Let's not forget that we are all

actively fighting against the almighty forces of diet culture that aggressively has taught us to fear cellulite and so much as a single belly roll when we sit down. It's just not realistic for the vast majority of people, especially women, to never feel insecure. So the barrier to entry may feel just too steep for some. This is where alternative concepts like body neutrality, body acceptance, body respect, or as Sierra alluded to, body kindness, all come into play. While all slightly different but related, these ultimately suggest that we can appreciate what our body does for us and find ourselves worthy of self-care, even if we don't love the way our body looks all the time. But if you're on your own body kindness journey, I want to leave everyone with some really important tools and exercises to help you get started. Number one, a daily mindfulness check-in.

Start each day by noticing your thoughts and feelings about your body. Some days you may be vibing with yourself and on others there may be some negative feelings that come up. Take note of these feelings without judgment or shame and gently redirect your focus to the present by observing three specific things in your environment. It could be a sound like the fan, a texture like your denim shorts, or a sight like a little crack in the paint on the wall. This little mindfulness moment can help ground you and create space for kindness when you feel up to it later on in the day. Number two, write a self-compassion letter. Set aside time to write a letter to yourself. You can share awareness, compassion, and empathy for

your past or current struggles around body image. Add in some words of unconditional love, and recognize our shared humanity in this experience. I mean, most if not all women can relate to the experience of feeling insecure in their skin. Because let's be honest, diet culture is the asylum where they raised us all. So remind yourself that you are not alone and you are not weak or a failure for having these feelings. Finish with some really kind words to yourself that might make you smile when you're having a less than body kind day. Number three, speak to yourself like a close friend or beloved child who is in distress. of the simplest ways to shift that inner dialogue to one that is intuitively more nurturing, compassionate, and empathetic, and is able to redirect the attention from the little insignificant things in life that may be causing anxiety or shame in the moment over towards big picture things that actually really do matter. Number four, focus on all the amazing things your

body can do. Instead of fixating and nitpicking certain body parts or aspects of your appearance, remind yourself of the incredible things your body can do for you and others. Perhaps those so-called thunder thighs let you play soccer with your friends, or your belly housed and grew beautiful babies, or your arms can create music by holding up and playing an instrument. And finally, dress the body you have now. Waiting for your body to change to dress yourself in clothes you love sends yourself the toxic message that you are not worthy of comfort or self-care as you are. I'm not saying you need to spend thousands of dollars on a whole new wardrobe, but if you have the financial freedom to take yourself shopping if

you were to be 15 pounds lighter, then you really should do the same as you are today. Wearing clothes that fit your body right now can help boost confidence, celebrate your personal style, and reaffirm that you are worthy of acts of self-care at any size. Most importantly, remind yourself that this is a process and it won't happen in one day. And that is really what this podcast is here to assist you with, helping you bite back against all the diet culture nonsense designed to keep us in the cycle of self-hate. So thank you again to Sierra Schulze for sharing her story today. And thank you all for listening in. I'm Abbey Sharp, signing off with Science and Sass. you