Oscars Outsider - I'm Wifin' Here w/ Alasdair Dunlop and Michelle Anderson (RHONY S14E01)

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

Craig and Dylan welcome Alasdair Dunlop and Michelle Anderson to watch the RHONY reboot live! 🍎 Bravo Outsider is back with a bang, bringing you an explosive recap of the #RHONY Season 14 premiere! 🎉 Hosted by the dynamic duo, Craig Midwinter and Dylan Ferguson, this episode takes you on a rollercoaster ride through the fabulous world of Real Housewives of New York City! 💃 Joined by our witty outsiders, Michelle Anderson and Alasdair Dunlop, the excitement is through the roof as they dissect every glittering moment of the premiere night. From jaw-dropping entrances to sizzling confrontations, nothing is off-limits in this unfiltered breakdown! 🗽 As RHONY newbies, Michelle and Alasdair provide fresh perspectives, sharing their frantic note-taking and hilarious reactions to the Housewives' antics. You'll be laughing out loud as they try to keep up with the ever-changing hairstyles and the drama-filled restaurant mystery! 😱 The tension builds as they delve into the unexpected living room fight, leaving them both captivated and unnerved. The intrigue deepens as they uncover the show's real villains – the quirky family members with questionable cleanliness! 🤣 Special mention goes to the shifty cook, a true hero providing comic relief in the midst of all the chaos! 🍳 🎭 From tagline highlights to insider predictions, Bravo Outsider leaves no stone unturned in this captivating RHONY recap. If you crave drama, glamour, and all things Housewives, this is a must-watch episode! 🔥 Ready to join the excitement? Click the link below to watch the exclusive clip from the episode and relive the drama all over again! 🎬 📺 Watch the RHONY Season 14 Premiere Recap: [Insert YouTube link] 🔔 Don't forget to subscribe to Bravo Outsider for more thrilling recaps and captivating discussions on your favorite reality TV shows! Stay tuned for all the Housewives tea! 🍵💎 Find Alasdair Dunlop on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/princealasdair Find Michelle Anderson on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/michelleanderbanjo Find Dylan on substack at https://dylanferguson.substack.com/ https://www.bravooutsider.com Music by FASSounds from Pixabay

Hello and welcome to the Bravo Outsider Podcast, a very special live Rony Reboot Edition. Joining me making his triumphant return is my co-host, Dylan Ferguson. Dylan, how's it going? Happy to be back. Happy to be back in the saddle, ride in the Roney. Thanks for organizing this. I want to do a live stream since we started.

And you sprung the whole. suit theme on me. I didn't know it was formal wear for the Rodey reboot. I had to change really quickly. I was watching Wimbledon today, so I took my sartorial inspiration from them. Ready to go. You've got to take a hint from the countess, you know, it's proper etiquette.

Yeah. RIP to countess. Each week we bring on an outsider who does not follow the show. This week, joining us is two very good friends of mine. Alster Dunlop and Michelle Anderson. Hey

What is this? Let's get some taglines red All the things I want to tell you We've been through it all But we rise not fall How's that one? Oh my God My heart grew two sizes

Excellent What bard What bard? What poet of our times come up with such a beautiful turn of. Casgod. On Instagram. Maybe he's watching. Don't take him. I'm going to say some mean things.

So we usually start out just by getting your experience with reality TV. What sort of shows reality shows do you watch? The closest thing I watched to a reality show is Jeopardy. I skip the part where the show. I think a count. I'll allow it. My favorite part of that bit of Jeopardy is that whatever Alex is like obviously super unimpressed with your story, his response is always, go for you.

He's also keen to tell young women that they're doing very well. Yeah. Right young women. Yeah. Yeah. And Michelle, how about yourself? Yeah, Jeopardy. I don't know.

I don't watch. Good for you. I think I watched the first season of the first Survivor in like whatever, 2000, whenever it came out too. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. That's formative. That's an apoccal event. Excellent.

Well, so you guys are clean slates. Do you want to just like tell us what you're expecting from this? Like what are your impressions? Since we're live before this show has aired, you know, you're a complete blank slate. Um. I'm expecting there to be fights and people to be mean to each other. And yeah, I don't know. And that's just the podcast.

I don't know why I keep hanging out with you guys. That should have been your tagline. I don't know what the taglines are supposed to be. Okay. Yeah, that's true. So do half of the people who say them. But yeah, speaking of taglines, since we've got the new season of Real Housewives of New York premiering, I want to go through the taglines.

We can do a bit of a power ranking and rating as we usually do. I'm assuming that Alistair and Michelle, you have not heard these. You haven't, like, been spoiled on social media. How about you, Dylan? Have you seen these? I've not heard them yet. No, I'm going into a virgin. I can't wait.

Give me the suggestion they found made into the zeitgeist of our modern culture. I'm not surrounded with them every day without knowing it. Well, that will happen in about an hour. Then comes your baptism. Okay, so we're going to start with Aaron. I'm a true New Yorker. The only bull I'll take is by the horns. Dylan, what do you think?

I love mixing a metaphor, so it gets points for that. The sentiment behind it is a little weak and obvious, though. I give that B minus. Yeah, I was trying to think if this is like something to do with like the bowl on Wall Street. I'm not sure what Aaron's like background is. But yeah, I don't know. I'd agree B minus. Michelle, what do you think of this one?

I don't know who Aaron is, but she's a. Yeah, we don't either. That's the great part. We're all kind of outsiders going into this because this is a total reboot, all new people. Okay, yeah, I immediately thought the Wall Street. I thought of the Wall Street thing too. Wait, what's this out of one to ten? Any arbitrary like rating you want to give it.

Okay, I give it two thumbs up. Four out of six stars. Yeah. Alster? Oh, man, I don't know. I was uncomfortable with people using the word bowl in place of a real curse word. So I'm going to get a C. C plus.

You got a critic over here. Up next, Jenna Lyon's tagline is, my lashes may be fake, but I definitely keep it real. So I know that she has a lashes company. That's one thing I do know, so I get that it's referencing something about her,

but it's really bad, I think. Just saying, like, it may be fake, but I'm real. Like, that's, like, entry level. that's that's d yeah i i don't know i actually kind of like this one i was going to put it you know at about a b as well but i i get your take i um i just think it's the most basic tagline sentiment you know yeah i feel like that's something i could have written very easily and been like yeah yeah but you didn't even write one for this so

I mean, technically mine was borrowed. Repurposed. Yeah, so Michelle, what was your rating on that one? Yeah, same as Dylan. It was bad. Alcer? Yeah, I'm disappointed in the lack of confidence of portrays.

Yeah. I think, you know, the show is famous for having people with cosmetic surgery, et cetera, then, like, being sensitive about your lashes is a belies a, you know, lack of confidence. Yeah, okay.

So, like, I'm an outlier in scoring this, but the more I think about it, like, you could have a lot of fun with lashes if you wanted to do a play on words with, you know, like, getting your lashes. Yeah, like, if she goes together with the other one, yeah, I got my lashes in, something like that. Okay, I'm downgrading.

I'm still going to put it out of C, but, yeah, downgrading from a B there. Brin's tagline is I love to laugh but make me mad and I'll date your dad Yeah that's a solid A plus Yeah I assume there's probably some Like maybe something at her history about that

Maybe not I hope not actually I hope it's just a random statement It's always a cool flex to be like I'm gonna fuck your parent I think it's cool flex And it rhymes So yeah I mean it's A for me I'll hold off on the plus, but it is solid.

Yeah, I'm all in A-plus. Yeah. Yeah, this is an A-plus for me as well. And I think that she's the housewife that I'm most looking forward to. I think she's got a lot of potential in, like, the little clips that we see. This is Bryn, yeah. Okay. So you don't know any of the characters either, really?

No, yeah. Even going over footage of them in the minor leagues, though, I think. Jessels is, I always bring the flavor. it's not my fault you don't have any taste. Also I find it kind of basic, like a pretty obvious metaphor there. I'll give it a C plus, but that's as far as I'm going to go. Okay.

To me it says the same thing as the lashes one. I just have so many questions. What is the flavor? I mean, most of them, yeah, a lot of them express that same sentiment is just like how funnily do you express it for me that counts? Or how absurdly you express it? That's, I grade very high for, like,

surreal weirdness and this doesn't happen. Yeah. I'm going to put this out of sea as well. I think it's like pretty entry level. It's what I would assume someone on the show would have. We got we've got Si. In New York there's a lot of bad apples, but I'm the baddest of the bunch. Well that's a problem because apples don't come in bunches.

They don't. Oh, they come in bushels? That's true. If he said he was the baddest of the bushel, I'd get this name. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, apples, big apple. Sure.

Okay, there's that. But it's not reaching very far, is it? It's not reaching very far. And, like, the, if it's referencing a comment statement, it's referencing, like, the bad apple, which, you know, ruins the batch or the bunch or whatever it is. That's what that saying is saying, that you, ruin everything for everybody.

The confidence isn't working for me, and neither is the metaphor. I'll give it C, down the middle C. Yeah, I was going to go with a C as well, but if it is not actually a bunch, like of an Apple, a group of apples is not a bunch, I'm going to upgrade it because I like the confidence of a producer probably was like, hey, you know that that's wrong and still to run with it. Yeah. that does give it some extra

some extra juice, yeah. And finally we've got Ubah, the secret ingredient darling, it's me. I kind of like how it sounds like a drag queen from the 70s. Like it's very

just straight up just flamboyant. There's like, there's no real metaphor. There's no real pun. No connection to anything. It's. Yeah, yeah. But,

But I like that kind of, like, just, like, direct flamboyance. There's a kind of, there's a sincerity to it that I appreciate. I'll give it, I'll give it a B plus. Yeah, you just kind of have to believe it, right? Like, he just says it. And when you're like, okay, I guess so. It's like Peter Pan. You just got to be it.

Just say, there's going to be a food fight. Yeah, I'm going to put this out of C as well. I, like, maybe it's going to be, yeah, no, this is not going to really grow on me. I think that there's nothing, like, nothing to this one. So even if she gives it, like, the greatest read, I feel like it's middling on me. So the show is going to. Are we concerned about the season after kind of having a lukewarm response to the table lines? No, that's too early.

Too early to get. Yeah, okay. So, never mind. I said nothing. Let's get into your expectations for the table. season. What, what, uh, what are you looking for and from what you've seen of these households and like promotional, uh, information? Like, what, uh, what are you hoping for? Well, you know me. I'm like a pretty straight text guy. I try to avoid as much

of the behind the scene stuff as I can, even as I, even as I, I appreciated that it's so much a part of the, uh, the ecosystem that they exist within, uh, now. I really like to just, uh, to hold off for the actual episodes. Uh, and I, so I don't know. anything about any of these people except a little bit about Gen. Alliance, right? Which I remember from like her being a very minor like Obama era celebrity. I do, I think it's from what little I've seen I see that they're really playing up like the diversity of the cast which is something the shows needed except like when I read their bios and it's like a fashion influencer, another fashion

influencer, another fashion influencer. You see that the diversity is just literally pigmentation. It doesn't apply to anything else about them as far as I can see from what little I've read. But we'll see. I don't know anything about them. So what do I have at the base on? I'm trying to keep an open mind. These taglines were my first introduction to this world. Yeah, I would say I am like, I'm pretty stoked about this, just like I get so worked up and hyped on anything new, like when we got a new show and a brand new cast. Like I'm really excited to see, you know, who the true champions that are going to emerge from this. Like, we could be, we could be witnessing tonight the birth of an all-time great, and I'm, I'm totally here for it.

Yeah. This could be Al-Carras beating Djokovic all over again. I, uh, I still in Wimbledon. I feel like, yeah, some of the taglines are lackluster. I, um, I really enjoyed Bryn and like everything that I've seen from. her is like really energetic. I started following all of these new housewives on Instagram, like the moment they were announced at BravoCon. So I've seen like bits and pieces. That's why you're the host. Bits and pieces of their like social media, you know, what they're putting out there. It's mostly drama free, but just kind of like hearing some of the other accounts of the cast. I'm

really excited about Bryn because she seems like a wild card and the stuff like her social media presence is actually like seems like pretty funny and energetic and um you know i feel like those are two key characteristics of the past incarnation of rehouse eyes of new york and i think that she seems like she really embodies that um also i feel like jennel lyons you know she is a known name and she has a very distinct style from everyone, everyone else. I love that in the promotional material, she's like carrying her little yippy dog and she really like stands out and also just having like browsed Reddit and also like looked at comments on some of these posts about these people. People have had like not so nice run-ins with her so that gives me hope that she might

Like, be, you know, a vile, devilish villain that we need and could give us, you know. Gotta have one. Yeah, absolutely. You, like, usually you need multiple of them to keep it going. So I'm really hopeful that she's going to, you know, kind of bring some conflict to the table. The other ones, like you said, Dylan, I think it's been a very kind of, it seems very generic and cookie cutter in terms of like, you know, they've gone to central housewife casting and, you know, picked a few names out of the hat. I mean, actually, Jessel seems like she might be a lot of fun

as well. And yeah, but aside from that, I don't know, I, we'll see, we'll see what happens. I don't really know what to expect here. Yeah, I'm also kind of interested culturally in like the way that, I think we're going to get a new version of what the baseline expectations for what like an aspirational wealthy New Yorker is because the old school cast still had that like lingering trace of that almost like Edith Wharton, Henry James kind of world where, you know, embodied mostly by Countessus Luann de Leszips, who would be, like, getting angry at Bethany because she told her chauffeur that her name was Luann instead of Countessus DeLessips.

And, like, there's a lot about, like, going to, like, going to the opera and, like, you know, who are you going to see at the opera? Like, those kind of, like, really old world European inherited traits of, like, what you expect a wealthy influential person to be, were still, like, hanging around in the OG cast of Rony and to see what the cultural reset is going to be with this new version of the cast as like a bunch of influencers mostly it seems like I'm really interested to see where they take that idea culturally are they are they all from New York is that the premise of this yeah well they all reside yeah they all reside and like operate socially within so that makes the like

apple one even more egregious I can't believe you guys scored it so I that was just like the extra one that the producers made so that like whoever didn't come up with one they got that one did you not know the R-O-H-N-Y like the N-Y was New York I figured it out just now Sherlock over here

but speaking of New York there's a like a trope or saying that you know anytime that New York is featured in like film or TV that you know it's a character like you know New York is a character on this show I think like Rehalser's New York is no exception to that and that's something that we discussed a little bit a week and a half ago with Billy Chung when we were discussing places it will be interesting to see how the character of New York City is reimagined here

yeah especially post-COVID yeah post-COVID for sure it's a whole new world And what do we think? Do we think Harry Dubin is going to make an appearance in New York will he return? This new crop of women. Why are there rumors? Well, he just has found his way back into like housewives of New York so many times. I would not be surprised to see him on a plane, especially after hearing Brin's tagline with the dating your dad thing.

Well, yeah, maybe that'll be a jump scare in the post-credit scene. I have a question. Yeah. Why did you make us listen to coffee and love? We're going to talk about that. We don't have time to talk about that. It's like we better talk about it because I don't want to waste my time. Yeah, as Michelle said, we're going to be talking about a song again.

We did this a couple of weeks ago with Rusty Robot when he was on the show. We're talking about coffee and love by Ashley Darby again. So we're going to be back live after watching the Roney reboot. We're going to do our recaps. We're going to talk about coffee and love. Talk about music. Talk about New York. And that'll be a day.

The show is about to start in a couple minutes. So do you guys have any final thoughts before we get into it? Just stoked. Just ready to go. Amped up. All right. Same here. Okay.

Well, thank you guys. We're going to get ready to watch the show. Hope everyone enjoys it and we'll see here afterwards. We're back. Okay, that was a very exciting episode of Real Housewives of New York, the reboot. Before we went live, Michelle was just asking, has a Real Housewives franchise ever done a reboot in the same way that New York has? So the answer is no.

Oh, sorry, just a second. I'm getting some notes about our Instagram here. Oh, what kind of notes? Are people grading us? No. Am I passing at least? Yeah, we weren't formatted correctly. And they're asking for a bit of a bit of fan service.

So if you could unbutton and show a bit of chest there, that'd be great. I knew this was coming, Chris. It's always the same. No, we're going to get banned. We're going to get banned. Okay. Okay, that's too much. Before we get into this episode of Rehous of New York reboot that we got,

we were planning on talking about a song since both Michelle and Alistair are very talented musicians. We exposed them to some other very talented musicians and had them choose between a few songs. by some Bravo. Sorry, I'm just eating some cheese. Okay, how did you have that? What? I love cheese, guys. You got to represent. This represents a small sapple. You can

If you can just dress this up for another hour, we've got a self-chogged. We're doing a muckbong right now. Since we've got two. extraordinarily talented musicians on the show we want to expose them to two a variety of Bravo Labs and their their their talented songs and we we decided that we wanted to talk about coffee and love by Ashley Darby Dylan you were really advocating for this one in the chat when we were yeah nice question about

her what what was motivating you to you know choose to you know rally behind this flag um because i mean it rules i mean whenever i hear the the the critics all those judgment judy's and bit of betty's out there just it just solidifies my love for the song all that much more i i think probably my favorite thing about coffee and love is um is the repeated use of the line i here is to the love those were julia's last few i really love yeah yeah i have a because... Go on. Yeah, no, it's just funny

because, you know, that's obviously not that. That's not... That wasn't her last words. You know, her last words were about fucking killing yourself. So it's just really funny to, like, just, like, rewrite Shakespeare with something really bland. Okay.

So I thought it was Julian's last words, and it was, like, a character in one of the shows. No, no, he's... Oh, that's just... changes everything. See, I thought this song Harvard a dark, a dark, dark secret.

I wanted to know who Julian was and why he was murdered. That throws all my theories in the water. I had nothing. Who did Julian in? Just to be clear, oh happy dagger, this is thy sheaths.

They're rusted, let me die. That's it. I'm dead. dying, I'm killing myself, which is really different from just being like, I love love, you know. Hashtag couple. That's what makes me mad about this song? I think you're still wrong. I think they're talking about Julian.

No, it doesn't make me mad. It delights me. No, it delights me because I think it's like really bold to just intentionally blandly misquote one of the most famous works of literature. Because everybody knows that that's not true. So it's really cool and balzy to do that That'd be like if you're singing a song And you're like Oh can't wait to get on the boat

Those were Ishmael's first words I'm like no We know that's not what they were But it's so cool that you thought you could pull that over us So yeah Big ups to Kaz Casanova he's doing He's doing wonders

Yeah but what else could you rhyme with If my heart was a computer baby you'd be the password, which is like an all-time line, you need something to lead into that. So you're suggesting the only rhyme for password. The word word is the only rhyme for password. Yeah. And if you need to rewrite Shakespeare to do it, then you gotta. The immortal bird.

Casanova. Oh, that's actually really upsetting to me. I thought that this was all about a guy named Julian. I assume that there's a story there. I thought maybe he was... I mean, there is... It's kind of a thing. This whole...

Yeah, man, changes it all. I'm disappointed. Sometimes it's better to have the mystery, I guess. So, Alasor, you were actually the tie-breaking vote on ultimately selecting this song. What was your criteria for that? Strictly.

The death threat? I mean, the fact that I see this on the surface is a love song, is a simple love song, but deep down it's a murder ballad. I mean, now that I know it's about somebody else, it's about Juliet. It changes everything. But in the time, I thought it was about Julian, and maybe these two people had murdered him, I feel like there's enough lines in there to really pull that out.

like for one after talking about Julian's last words like they reiterate over and over again like happy to be the partner's crime a judge makes an entrance yeah there's judge makes an entrance that's true judge Judy um yeah that's the other so there's also this strange like identity crisis where like who is casanova and all this because like she she refers to him a few times as like like she describes him having blue eyes he clearly doesn't well wait for the shop she also refers to somebody named Mickey a little bit yeah oh yeah Mickey and Ashley will never stop

I mean that's that's scary I guess there's actually two twists yeah there's no heaven to discover for them why to me I think they're maybe one in the same person like Casanova and Ashley two sides of the the same coin and like Casanova is the murderous intent there and uh Ashley is the Joker to wrap out. And they live within the same existence. So yeah. You're getting close. We, uh, I would like to welcome all of the followers of Kaz God now because, uh, his password

was really easy to figure out for Instagram and we're going live on his account now too. I'm not really. No, I'm not totally joking. Totally joking. I mean, there's only, he's got like a few hundred followers on Instagram. It's not a big deal. Yeah, no, so, okay. So, Kassanova is actually Ashley Darba's,

Ashley Darby's brother. Oh, that's... That's... That's way weird. Okay, so how do you feel about all those forbidden love kind of verses that are in there? Well, now that they're projected under sibling. Yeah, no, I really wish that it was, you know, Michael Darby or Mickey Darby. that was doing the rap verses because I think that that would make for an especially funny music video.

Sadly, that is not the case. Which is it to say that Mickey Darby doesn't show up in the movie? Yeah, that's... He does turn up near the end. He's the guy you see at the bar who turns around and gets all excited and lit up and his baby blues to shine. Presumably because he just noticed the cameraman's ass. Yeah. I really love that Michael Darby is this is Ashley Darby's husband at this point

and he has been the constant like rumor of all of the all of the speculation surrounding his sexuality and so to include him in like a couple shots where he's at the bar chatting up a guy and like turns around to realize that his wife is doing this big long elaborate song for him is A really hilarious choice on the part of the director here. And she's doing it with somebody else. Her sibling. Yeah. One of my favorite parts of the video is that she boasts all the words that Casanova sings.

That's like half the video. Half the video is just her lip syncing to Casino's living. That's my point that they're one in the same person. I think they just need a more B-roll. They should have just got some. Should have got some footage of dogs running around. That's what they usually do on the shows. Something else, at least.

Also, there was, like, a surprising lack of other, like, other cast members on this. And you know what? I feel like that just speaks to how great of a housewife she is. Like, she was able to just go in, do this, flying solo, didn't need any, you know, support from her cast. Aside from Cherise, Sheree. Sheree is on there. And that's, like, the only person. that we see from the Potomac cast.

Really love, respect, you know, Ashley Darby's hustle here. Yeah, usually it's an opportunity they take to cram as many castmates in the show into the video as they can to get more traction. But whether because she couldn't or she didn't want to, who cares, she's flying solo. It's interesting to me, like, does...

Though she does get... Because you said us, you said there's a bunch of these things. Yeah. So there are a bunch of them out there. And is this just something that they all do by default? Is this part of the show? Is this like... So they don't all do them.

There's like, just the greats do them on the place. Just the best to play the game, get a song. But no, they do like... It usually takes like a variety of different... It varies. in terms of how serious they're taking it. Like, there's a big storyline on Rehospers of Atlanta this season where Drew is pursuing a music career and she's singing it very seriously. Or somewhat seriously, I don't know, she's using it in the same way that, like, some people use a baby to fix a marriage.

That's what she's in with a music career on Atlanta right now. But we see something like Candace is really, like, trying hard to do it. Candice on Real Housewives with Potomac is, like, trying hard. And, like, she's got some tracks that I think are probably, like, you can take them a bit more seriously. I don't know if they're necessarily better than Coffee and Love. I think it's hard to be better than Coffee and Love. One of the reasons I didn't want to talk about Coffee and Love

is because I love the idea about thinking about talking about Coffee and Love and, you know, to actually get my thoughts out there and put it out there. you know, not have that as, you know, oh, one day I'm going to be able to talk about coffee and love on a podcast, you know, I feel like it's taking something away from me. Yeah, sometimes just gesturing towards your greatest musical influences has more power than actually digging into it. Like, thank God for the... Yeah. Is there any explanation in the... Need we say more? Mythos for this.

And, like, that's thrown in. So, like... It's so, like, I don't know any of these characters. I don't know any of their backstories. I don't think Zizi Top's a character. Not yet. But, like, it's just so jarring to hear that in a song that's not about ZZ Top at all. Or, like, doesn't sound like it's inspired by Zee Zoothe. Well, the lyric is, give me all your love and thank God for Zee Zee Top.

Yeah. Mickey Derby and Ashley will never stop. I mean, it's a spoiler. alert. I know this. So I want like, I feel like I need to come clean and say that like there are no lyrics for this on the internet. I sat down and transcribe them.

That's what we thought it was Julian. You're doing God's work. Yeah. So I got a lot of wrong words probably. But one of my favorites is in that same verse, it's, there's a line that's catcher vibe and then just some words that are, I couldn't figure out. I don't think anybody can. Followed by the words, hope it's understandable.

That it's only me and you, we ready to set off. Yeah, I noticed even like the automatic, like, YouTube subtitle generator was turned off for that video. Like, they do not want, the man does not want you to know the lyrics to coffee and love. They are hiding something. There's definitely, yeah, a dark truth. The YouTube generators do lucky things too, though. Right? Mm, that's true.

So does Kessel. I did a little bit of recent. I literally cannot believe that she says Juliet in that song. I'll listen to it again because I don't believe it. What's an origami smile? Oh. What is that? What does that mean?

It sounds horrible. I wrote that wrong in the word transcription. What did you think? Like a jigsaw? Like from, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Or like something like a Takashabee came. What does that look like?

sounds horrible. No, it's like your aura's got me smiling, I think is the line. Is that what he says? Oh, shit. I was, I had, I had nightmares. If all those, there's no heaven to discover. You want to know how I got this origami smile? Do you think there's a heaven waiting for you? There is some... Damn. It's getting dark. All right, that's it. That's it. That's it. Yeah, well, other than that, yeah, it's pretty magical. song.

Its production is reminiscent of those guys who made that Rebecca Black song famous. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. So I would say that's a common thread through like a lot of Housewives songs as well. It's like kind of kind of cheap, kind of like a little bit overproduced to compensate for a lack of like skill. Over and under. Like there's no. There's no hook whatsoever in this song.

There's no, like, it's just a thing that goes on forever. There's barely a... There is that signature element. It'd be hard to argue that there's even really a chorus in this song. It would be hard to argue with his song. Well, yeah, there's a lot of words that get spoken. There is, yeah, I don't know, a lot of autotune and not just autotune. There's a lot of added vibrato to the auto tune, just to be extra.

a little extra something. Yeah. Yeah, it definitely feels like, well, I guess Casanova is the producer of this, does he know? I think that's my understanding. I think so. I'm not entirely sure.

I also really love that the beats have a like, like a watermark on them at the beginning of the song. Like when you listen to, it's got like one of those watermarks is like so and so beats. Like it's downloaded off of like,

Like a stock library? That is amazing. I didn't catch that. But I mean, it absolutely makes sense. Yeah, that's all I'd assume about that. I don't want to be the mean guy on the internet. I don't want to be the only person who doesn't love coffee and love. Okay, let's get into the Real Housewives of New York.

Yeah. Enough magic. This, I thought that this was a very, like, a good first episode. But I want to get, let's start off with our outsiders. Alice or Michelle, what did you guys think? Well, I mean, I'm watching it for the first time. Like, I've never seen any of these.

And I'm watching it for the first time. And I know I have to come and do this afterwards, like talk about it. You said that with such joy. Yeah. I was just frantically. like writing down the names of people and then their hairstyles would change and they keep cutting to all the different people and they would say like Jenna's house and like whatever who's who is the first house even was it size house was the first house yeah she had those villainous

children yeah they have a weird relationship with their children and husbands but yeah i guess that's the show yeah i don't know my impression of it was just i was really frantically to figure out even halfway through the episode I was like who is this again like who's mad about the cheese who's mad about the restaurant that was chosen who chose the restaurant that was not happy what was the restaurant they kept leaping it out yeah that's the real question yeah restaurant yeah my money's on rambro upstairs they said that like the olive garden would be better because it was like what goes hand in hand with an olive garden yeah That's true. My favorite line about the restaurant was was Brin's line, which I think was her best line in the show where she was like, I mean, maybe I'd go there if I had friends in town, like friends from Florida.

Yeah, I'm sure some sleuths are going to figure on the internet are going to figure out what the restaurant is. It's not going to be redacted for long. Yeah. Yeah. One thing I didn't expect, like I know the whole episode kind of led up to the like the fight in the living room or whatever where everyone yeah the music got quiet and everything was like very uncomfortable and i was like oh they're they're really fighting right now and i guess that it just came out of nowhere for me and that that was unexpected but i feel like they're telegraping that fight for the very they were they were but when it actually happened i was a little bit like oh i i don't like seeing real fights and it was jarring

I did very much enjoy the cutaways to the Shifty cook. Yes, that was great. It was a true hero. Miss. He liked a chef who looks like a UFC fighter. Well, they put like pop by the dog next to him, I feel like intentionally. Yeah. It's a...

I quite enjoyed how the real villains in the show all seem to be family members, like little children or sometimes parents who didn't clean good. Okay, so the only dad, okay, so who is the one that was like, I'll make you laugh until you're mad and then I'll sleep with your dad or whatever his third tagline. Bryn, yeah. Bryn said that. Okay, so as soon as they introduced Aaron's dad, Eli, I was like, oh my God, look out Eli. She's, Brin is going to go after you. No, because they tease that, right?

They tease that in the intro bit. Yeah, yeah. had her say something like that, like showing something that's presumably going to be in a future episode where she says that around Aaron's dad. Towards Aaron. Who looks like a goon and a bad bad movie. Yeah.

I didn't, I didn't know who any of these people. I took, like, my notes are so scrambled here. And I'm like crossing out who I think who was. And like, yeah. So I was very happy that I got like, oh, look out Eli. But I guess, yeah, you're on it already. That guy's terrible. Right?

This is just me? Yeah, he's no, he's definitely a villain. He is definitely a thug played by the guy who played Ray Romano's brother. Oh man, yeah. It's really hard to believe that any of the periphery characters are real people. Who's the other husband? Let me look at my notes here. Oh, Pavit?

no he seemed well yeah no yeah he seemed like a made-up person for sure are you thinking about size horrific husband to a yeah yeah yeah yeah i got you i got you bro that guy was just like they needed a husband and they had a stage hand and they sent him on in yeah yeah wearing a baseball back hat in his own house like which is already just like psychopath behavior and the fact that he shows up she shows up shouting wifey is also like horrific conduct fuck that guy

wasn't there like I didn't know if you were home or something like that yeah yeah I guess I missed something but he was like

oh can I come into the washroom or whatever and she was like yeah this is your house and he was like well I don't know what you're doing I don't know what you're doing I don't know what you're doing

I thought that was just reasonable like respecting her space but I was already lost on him by that point. So I, I knew that most making it as well as possible.

Laughing at her jokes. I don't know. Maybe I missed something. That's also like a direct line from Real Houseways of Beverly Hills that we saw like two seasons ago in the conflict between like Crystal and Sutton. She's like, I don't know. I don't know what you're doing in there.

And it got blown out of proportion because of the implication about what she might be doing in there. So I like seeing this little. little callback but yeah this i mean this guy it was a callback agree or disagree this guy sucks no i i agree this guy sucks yeah thank you that's all i want from this show all right happy good night everybody um but yeah i thought that this was like appreciated how all these characters were really introduced i love that we got this like relay race for the introductions where you know, one person would introduce the next and kind of hand the baton off and they'd have to introduce the next. I thought that that was a really fun way to do it.

Who do you guys feel were the real like standouts from this cast? I think Uba is a standout because she's a foot taller than everyone. Yeah. Yeah. You're just not going to lose her in a crowd. So Jenna, Jenna's really tall too. Jenna's really tall too. More slouchy though.

She has a very distinct posture, which I love, by the way. I love her, like her, she slinks. Silhouette. Yeah, she slinks. Absolutely. That's the word for it. She's a slinker. Classic Jenna.

You guys think this is going to come to like a shorts versus talls kind of situation? We can only hope because that is not something that we have seen before. Well, you haven't seen a full reboot before. Yeah, that's true. I thought Uber was great instantly. I think I gave her taglay in like an A for being like very direct. like drag queen kind of a confident statement. But hearing her actually say it with her like, you know,

East African English, Indianish accent was like A plus material as soon as it came out of her mouth from that like stratosphere or kite where she delivered it. I thought she had great presents. Her apartment was awesome. Her wardrobe was insane and awesome for that reason. So I'm instantly an Uber fan. And I love her line deliveries. Uber eats. It's great stuff.

She's doing great up there. But other than that, other than that, other than that, I think the one who comes out as like the most fully formed character is maybe unsurprisingly Jenna. It just like has a personality that seems like completely TV ready. Jenna just comes fully formed. Like I say, she's got that slinky present. She's got the silhouette. She's got that rapid fire delivery.

I love that fast-talking thing. That's what I, I'm going to a New York-themed show to hear some fast-talking. She's got, like, great delivery, a great look. I mean, I called her earlier, like, an Obama-era mini-celebrity. She's not beating those raps by, like, showing up in a trucker hat and literally talking about dressing to show Obama. But, like, but that's, like, you know, she's showing that she's, like, she's been, like, a public figure for a while, which these other girls are, like,

they're like rookies that are coming out of the the oh-h-l and entering the league at 18 years old and she's like somebody who's been in the khl for eight years right now and is and is coming in as like a fully formed star so i think she's like already ready to go she's hitting the ground running and she's got a leg up and everybody else yeah totally i i got the same thing from from jenna i like was um i don't know I don't, like, I didn't know who she was prior to being introduced on here, and I still don't, like, haven't done enough research to know what the context is for her, like, stardom. But. J. Crew. That's the context. She was the head of Jay Crew for, like, years. Okay. When it was, like, a thing. Yeah. Um, yeah. And she was on girls, too. She was on girls for a little bit. Oh, okay. Like, the, the HBO show or whatever was? The HBO show.

Yeah, yeah, Adela Duna. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I just thought she seemed like this was not her first season of being a housewife. I actually also thought that Bryn came across, like, very seasoned. I thought that she immediately came in

and, like, was the author of her own story because she was, you know, she had some lines about how, like, sigh has the life that she wants, like immediately like signaling towards her motivations and you know um about her like ovaries flipping over and just like I think she was really like telegraphing like her motivations and fears and just like giving her like personal her character a lot of color um and you know there's a couple ways that you can kind of read that sort of thing and in some cases you can think of that

as like if someone is not able to bring it within like a group social context and like not able to bring the drama or conflict or whatever they might like rest on some personal story that they can they can ride um but brin was both putting out this personal side and giving these motivation and like fleshing out her character but also you know she definitely like brought it in terms of the the social game of it all in the first episode because you know she was at the heart of all the drama everyone was talking about her and calling her a shitster and you know all the conflict kind of revolved around her and then she was able to like make up with erin and um you know kind of form an immediate like alliance that seemed almost imbreakable like they see

seemed to have this like friendship by the end of the episode that was so strong and seemed almost impenetrable when that is not what you would have thought at the beginning of the episode given all of the context so um i don't know it just it felt like a really mature outing from her as well it's funny because that alliance happened in like the last two minutes of the episode it's like I'm gonna go back there and like beat her up and really like hate her and then like oh two minutes later their best friends well prior to that too Aaron had said that she was turned off to Brin which is like you know the harshest thing you can say to the one that was defined as the horny character it's way of year. Yeah, I definitely like Bryn's like Bridget Bardot vibe that she's going for.

I do think that her like attempts to defied her personality who were like very like cheesy and obvious at first. But you kind of got to do that I think in the first episode, right? You've got to go for broad strokes at first and then let the shading happen later on. Okay, but yeah, like more cheesy and obvious than anyone else on this. like who brought more? The only one who came off as polished, like I said, is Jenna.

The rest came off. They all came off as cheesy and obvious, but I don't hold that against them because it's, you know, it's the first episode. That's what they got to do. They've got to make mission statements. They've got to say, this is, this is who I am in two lame sentences, you know.

That's what you've got to do. It's part of it. Like the whole like cheese conflict too, I thought, was like really forced and, lame, but the first conflict that you're going to bring up in the first episode with a whole new cast is going to be forced. Because you've got to fake it until you make it.

You've got to, you've got to force it through before it happens. Hey, wait, wait, wait, why? Hello. Oh, baby we see. I don't know, it was Craigson. Anything can happen when you're alive, right? It's New York, baby.

Craig's idea to go live. Yeah. Well, I was strongly encouraging it. I wanted to live stream it at time. I wanted a whole episode where I was just eating cheese while the episode lays in the background. Hey, that's bread. Honestly, you probably should have done that. Could I just say that I hate a charcooterie board that has a huge bunch of grapes on it?

Like you see that happening at Genese? Like taking up that much real estate? Yeah. And also, what do you eat? Are you even wanting to eat them? Maybe when they're like when they're dried out and they're jammy. That's what that's a thing. There's a word for that.

I'm forgetting it. But the fresh grapes, that's no good with cheese. It's not bad, that bad idea. Alice and Michelle, do you have any other highlights from this episode? Anything that sounds out to you? I really like that it was a Halloween episode. It was a... I missed that.

That's my favorite part, because they kept showing the skeleton with the weird eyes in front of... I don't even remember who comes. The first house. Yeah, spooky. I think that was Aaron. Aaron's? I had to name someone I had it.

Anyways, there was a skeleton before, and I was like, okay, this has to mean something. Because I was just like, I need to write everything I see down, and I was all frantic. And then they kept showing the skeleton, and then when they went to other people's houses, they stopped showing it. I was like, okay, something, they want to tell us something about the skeleton. And then they showed a bunch of bushes with like those fake cobwebs on. them and I was like, oh no, this is just a Halloween episode. This is good.

Yeah. That's interesting that you bring that up because like when I think about, you know, seasonal, real hostwives of like whatever, New York has had a lot of like Christmas episodes. I feel like when I think about, you know, real hostwives of New York, I think about like the, the Berkshire's trip with like these strong. like Christmas episodes. I had mentioned on previous podcasts that the Berserscires episodes of

like season eight of real house episodes of New York are some of my favorites and I watch them as like a Christmas special every year. Um, like I just like so to see them kind of pivot and us get now, you know, if Real Housewives of New York is going to start being like the Halloween episodes. I'm interested in that. I'm interested to see what happens. happens. But I'm guessing since this is the beginning of the season, we might see this spread out over Christmas and still get Christmas in New York, which is something that I think myself and a lot of people enjoy seeing. Yeah. It is special. It would be special. It'd be heartwarming. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. It's a spirit.

Dylan, what other highlights do you have? Um, Jessel's line, I knew every little thing about him, referring to her husband, following it up with then I fixed it. Yeah, I wrote that down too. It's both funny and creepy. Kind of a frightening thing to say, but also funny. Yeah, the general treatment of her family was amazing. Yeah, it was entertaining.

It was good. Yeah. I did like Jenna's Place, actually. I said I liked Ubis Place already. I liked Jenna's Place, too. This is going to be something that I'm looking forward to, honestly, in the Rooney reboot is having, like, cool flats. Because I do really enjoy the, like, weird liminal spaces you get in some of the shows, like, Orange County, where they have, like, these massive McMansions that are, like, completely sterile and, like, soulless and kind of terrifying. Like, you just got lost in a part of the map in a video game and don't know how to get out.

So having like these actually like like like you know creative weird fucked up spaces with like more limited real estate like you have in New York with like a younger cast is something that I think is going to be pretty cool. And Jenna's place was pretty cool. And I do like that we get her shoe closet, which is given the same almost the same treatment that is given to like Hattori Hanso's attic in the Kill Bill movies. That was that was really nice. and the way that they like wrap up that the bit with her closet with her uh with you know the lace in the sequins getting intertwined you don't mix lace and sequence um there was just just good use of the spaces good good physical space usage yeah that was that was the note that i had i really enjoyed the the spaces that we got to see here i feel like jenna's was was definitely a highlight

I also really liked Uba's as well. You know, yeah, really excited to see. Oh, and size brownstone. Like, one thing that we have talked about a lot of times on this podcast is just like the geography of these shows. And so to see a little bit different geography of New York, I think is really interesting. I really like, you know, that we're getting to. see you know brownstones in in Brooklyn I yeah I I just I'm really looking forward to the the new ground that we are going to cover it's it's always fun to like you know see the fall

out of a night at the regency but to get like new lore crafted out in New York is at least equally as exciting probably more so for me New York New Lorne. That's exactly what they always say. Yeah, it is very exciting. I'm very thrilled. Yeah, I also found it like moving and inspirational, but that was just the Gulf Town commercial.

Who are your standout hostwives, Stone? Who are you looking forward to seeing more from? Oh, I think I already underlined both Uba and Jenna. as being ones that are really exciting to me. So I'll stick with those two as the ones I've got the eye. And I think, like, Jenna is the least surprising pick in the gang. And, but, like, was really impressed with the kind of presence that she put out. And Uba has a ton of potential for me.

For the other ones, I'm in wait and C mode for now. One episode's too early to start passing judgments of them, but they haven't really stood up for me just yet. we'll see what happens yeah uh how about you guys uh also michel uh big time pop-bye fan won't you see more pop-eye i'm sure we will i'm personally not planning on watching any more You got bed with us. There's the Michelle sealer. Rig and endorsement.

Yeah, I think you got some of my picks there, Dylan. Uba was someone that I hadn't initially picked as someone that I, you know, was super stoked to see, but I thought every time that she was on screen, she brought it it was exciting um so yeah i'm excited to see her jena not a surprising pick i you know had kind of figured that she was going to be exciting to see uh and also like i i felt validated in you know my my pick of brin being really exciting to watch i think that she was really fantastic so um she does seem eager to see to say weird shit which is important.

You need somebody who's eager to say weird shit. So I hope that she continues down that path and says ever weird or shit. Yeah, not, but I think that there was more to it than that. Like, yes, I agree that she had that. But I feel like she was also like eager to be messy or just like, just like, just messy by nature. Like, I think. Yeah. She was hungry to.

cause problems, I think, and that's important to. Yeah, and she was identified as people, by people as, like, being a troublemaker, and so that's good. You know, and I want to contrast her with Aaron, who I think also was given a similar treatment in terms of how she was presented, and she was kind of, like, featured as this person who has problems with people, and, like, maybe that's because she's a problem. But, you know, it just read, she just still read as boring to me. I was not, like, super buying it. She also got the most screen time of anybody by far.

Aaron? Yeah, big time. And she didn't use it. Yeah. She didn't have a single line that I remember. So, I mean, we'll see. First episode. I'm not going to pass judgment too quickly, but you're right.

She had lots of street screen time, and I didn't see her using that screen time. Yeah. I also like I don't know I I never expect anyone on these shows to express any sort of introverted tendencies but like that's something that I identify with and I liked Jenna being like oh yeah small talk is my kryptonite because something I'm just like not not good at I love that I just think that this was a very like mature effort from production in terms of how they presented this episode. I think they were very good about carving out all of the characters in it. And I think that, you know, we got this, this fight about the cheese, which was like,

it was nothing, but it was still engaging. It was like, you know, as engaging as something can be for us to not, like, having no context on these shows. I appreciated how, you know, they used this thread to kind of like tie this episode together. And we got like a little bit like of a hint of a more real conflict with regards to the restaurant. Like that that Aaron picked in this like. That shall not be neat. Yeah.

The bleeped out restaurant. Yeah. I just I thought that it was like really well tied together and that we got this like this friendship being put together at the end. I thought the gag of, you know, pretending that they were still fighting and coming out in Janet's clothes was really like it was funny and also it was really like effective in terms of just like having something that is going to be a peeve to another hostwife. that's obviously going to get under her skin. They had to have known that or have been like too messy to like to care. Yeah. So I just I thought altogether it was like it was really good.

It was not as, you know, not as floundering as some of the like premieres that you can see from a new series. Like I feel like real host stories of Salt Lake. city took a little while to kind of get where it was. Real House was of Dallas, especially like the first season, in my opinion, was a bit of a write-off before it found its legs. But this, like, it felt like it really hit the ground running to me. There's lots to build off. There's lots of potential there. Yeah. I think I've covered pretty much everything that I've got. Alison, Michelle, do you guys have any final thoughts? How would you, Dylan?

I think I've pretty much covered whatever. I got so far. I remember most of their names. That's the most important part. And you've set your PBR, Michelle? Well, now that we have access to your prime account. Awesome. Well, thank you guys so much for doing this.

And thank you to our viewers for like sticking with us through the technical problems. We'll see how this turns out in post-production, because it's so. says that we have stopped recording a few times. So hopefully we managed to eke out an episode from this. But it has been a ton of fun. Alster, do you want to let people know where they can find you? My address, my home address? Yeah, your physical location?

My physical location is at a westing of, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. You can find me on Instagram, Prince Ballester. A-L-A-S-D-A-I-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-S. I probably want to talk about this. Michelle? You can find me on Instagram at Michelle Ander Banjo, if that makes sense. Awesome.

Dylan, how about yourself? I haven't put anything in there in a while, but you can find me on Sub-S-S-Dak, as Dylan Ferguson said. Hope to have something. to announce in the next couple of weeks too, which is why I've been away from the show for a couple of weeks. So stay tuned. Awesome.

Looking forward to that. In the meantime, you can find me eating cheese disgusting. Get your microscopes. That's been Bravo Outsider for this week. I'm Craig Midwinter. You can find us online at bravo Outsider.com. You can find us on Instagram at Bravo Outsider on threads at Bravo Outsider. Outsider on TikTok at Bravo Outsider on YouTube at Bravo.

Are we TikTok? Yeah, we are. On Twitter at Bravo underscore Outsider. Yeah. Until next week, keep on wifing. And as the Hamlet said, hey, I'm wifing here. It's New York, baby. Those were his last words.

You know,