Oscars Outsider - Namaste Your Asshole (RHONJ S13E18, RHOA S15E05, RHOC S17E01)

Episode Date: June 10, 2023

Join Craig Midwinter and Dylan Ferguson on the latest episode of the Bravo Outsider Podcast! Buckle up and get ready for an epic episode as Craig and Dylan delve into the latest installments of your beloved Housewives franchises. In this jam-packed podcast, they leave no stone unturned as they dissect the most memorable moments from: 🍝 RHONJ S13E18: The New Jersey reunion episode brings the drama to a whole new level! Melissa's cringe-worthy attempt to bring up an insulting text about Teresa sets the stage for heated confrontations. Jennifer fiercely defends her husband's pool room habits, while Dark Louie emerges as an unpredictable force. Prepare for explosive sparring and jaw-dropping revelations that will leave you craving a big bowl of pasta! 😮🍝 🍑 RHOA S15E05: The Real Housewives of Atlanta deliver an episode filled with fiery exchanges and emotional confrontations. Witness the intense opening scene that sets the tone for the explosive drama to come. Mama Joyce and Kandi lock horns as Kandi valiantly defends her relationship with Todd. Meanwhile, a visit to a mysterious clinic with creepy IV bags adds a thrilling twist. Brace yourself for the rollercoaster ride of emotions in the ATL. 🌡️🏥 🍊 RHOC S17E01: The Real Housewives of Orange County are back with a bang! As Tamra returns, the dynamics among the ladies undergo a seismic shift. Craig and Dylan offer their tagline rankings, discussing the fusion of middle-class Americana with hints of opulence in the premiere episode. From juicy revelations to unexpected alliances, this season promises a riveting exploration of power and intrigue in the OC. 📋💎 Whether you're a die-hard Housewives fan or a Bravo newbie, Bravo Outsider has got you covered. Join Craig and Dylan as they provide their unique insights, hilarious commentary, and exclusive behind-the-scenes tidbits. Sit back, relax, and indulge in the guilty pleasure that is the Real Housewives universe. Don't miss a minute of the action—tune in now for an episode that will leave you craving more! 🍷📺🔥 Don't miss out on this thrilling episode of the Bravo Outsider Podcast! Tune in, subscribe, and let's dive into the drama together! 🎧🔥 Find Dylan on substack at https://dylanferguson.substack.com/ Music by FASSounds [https://pixabay.com/users/fassounds-3433550/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=music&utm_content=112194] from Pixabay [https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=music&utm_content=112194] #BravoOutsider #RHOC #RHONJ #RHOA #RealHousewivesOfAtlanta #RealHousewivesOfOrangeCounty #RealHousewivesOfNewJersey #RealityTV #Podcast

Hello and welcome to the Bravo Outsider Podcast. I'm your host, Craig Midwinter. And this week, joining me, as always, is my co-host, Dylan Ferguson. Dylan, how's it going? Oh, doing pretty good, doing pretty good. Another wet, sopping, drizzly day here in Quebec, which is making everybody happy because it's killing the wildfires. Oh, yeah, for sure. Except for the wildfires, they're really pissed off right now.

Yeah, I've just been seeing like all over social media people bitching in New York, mostly about how bad the air is. Yeah, yeah, it's ridiculous. We had that a few, we had that like four days ago and they're obsessed with it. It's every time I see somebody posting that like, oh, the air I breathe is damaging to my health. It's like, wow, rent free. You're obsessed with us. Get over yourselves. Jesus, Chris.

So this week our outsider that we had booked, unfortunately was unable to make it. It's far outside. Yeah. We've got so much to cover this week. So let's just dive right into it. Dylan, what episode was the most compelling to you? Where do you want to start? Oh, man, that's hard to say.

I think I got to say the one that entertained me the most was probably the New Jersey reunion. It was this was a bunch of fun. And in contrast to the Vanderpump reunion, which we just talked about yesterday, wrapping up our special episodes on the Vanderpup Pryudians, which was like a really interesting episode. But like I mentioned, my thought was like very stressful and harsh because of how like how extremely cruel it could be at times. And don't get me wrong, the Jersey reunion has also has enough cruelty. There's definitely a lot of meanness there. A lot of people try to hurt each other.

It's just like a lot funnier to me. Like, this was a funny, wild reunion episode. It was like an old school, like, gloves off, just, like, yapping at each other kind of episode. And there was a lot going on. I thought it was pretty fun. Yeah, I think the big contrast between the Jersey reunion and Vanderpump Rules reunion is, you know, on Jersey, everyone had kind of like an equal footing. Like, no one had this, like, moral high ground that they were able to, like, sit atop of. you know, punch down from.

So it made for a lot more of a fun sparring match to watch. Yeah, for sure. Definitely a sparring match was definitely expecting after round one where I think I said that I thought like actually Melissa kind of came up on top in round one because I thought she was kind of like sticking to her story like confidently and clear. and landed some blows that way. I totally expected round two to start off with Teresa after having sat in her corner for a minute,

spit out a couple teeth to get back up and Melissa to absorb some damage. I didn't expect Melissa to immediately whiff an attempted knockout punch so badly that she like spins around, flips over the ropes, and smashes through the broadcaster's table. I'm referring to her decision to read out loud, that text message that's just like a bunch of petty insults against Teresa. That has nothing to do with anything, but it's just like mean insults.

And it was just such a bad look for her. And it was just such like an own goal. She didn't have to do that. It didn't like bolster her position at all. And Melissa's path to winning here, which I think she was playing that script well in part one, is to seem as like common, reasonable as possible so that Teresa looks like the unhinged, vindictive, conspiratorial one. And she just surrendered so much of that potential high ground by stooping to just

reading out a bunch of insults. And when even Dolores is sitting there and saying like, you're going down or something for this. Sleep with one eye open. Sleep with one eye open. Right. That was, ah, bad. You know, when you live in New Jersey and people are saying that, that's like.

That's worse than being called a rat. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like literal threats. And she brought that on herself, man. She didn't have to do that. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I feel like she was maybe trying, you know,

there's kind of this trope of having housewives, like, bring out receipts and having, like, being able to make a moment by bringing out receipts. And that seemed like what she was going for. And, yeah, it fell so flat and gave us a really great moment where, like you said, Dolores was like, yeah, sleep with one eye open.

This is like a bad look for you. Yeah. Yeah, because it wasn't like, she wasn't giving receipts in the sense. She's being like, oh, this contradicts your version of events.

No, it's just like, here's some mean thing, somebody else said. Yeah. Like, this isn't helping you. Yeah.

Yeah, I thought that, you know, in the battle of Teresa versus Melissa, this was a bit more even footing. Because like you, I thought that Melissa kind of came out on top in round one. And I feel like if it weren't for this moment, kind of falling as flat as it did,

I would say that Melissa still looked like she was coming out on top. But yeah, this really was not a great look. Yeah. But otherwise, their squabbling was just like really hilarious to me. And I loved the way that they have of. of arguing where they'll just like pick up on a word that somebody says and just keep tossing it back and forth. Like they're playing a game of tennis with it, even if what they're saying makes no fucking sense at all. You're weak.

Yeah, yeah, week, weak, or like, domestic your asshole and stuff. Yeah. I'd like to domestic to my asshole. Yeah, you would domestic to your asshole. If I had a domestic stay and stick it right up my ass. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? it's such an insane way to converse or to conversate, which, again, by the way, is a word. I'm glad that we finally get some resolution on that, you pointing out, the conversation

is a word. And I like Marge's reaction where she's like, yeah, but it's in the dictionary. They put it in after. They put it in after what, Margaret, after people started using it? That's how a dictionary works. That's what it does. Of course, Margaret's a prescriptivist. but also like if if she is kind of putting out there that Danielle is responsible for getting this word in the dictionary like why would she be ashamed of that?

Yeah, I'm not sure that's what she was applied. But if she was, that'd be hilarious because yeah, that would be amazing. That would be like the citation was like the coinage was like a Daniel coinage. That's the origin that's cited in the Oxford English Diction. What other highlights did you have from this? Yeah, mostly the sniping back and forth and repeating words. It was so good. Oh, I did like the little bit where Jen Aiden, I'm going to say reveals because she didn't deny it,

that Rachel, despite pretending that she never really watched the show, we used to operate a social media account with the handle Bravo Lover, 1, 2, 3, 4. That was just funny to me. Yeah, and then later, when Andy used to do, the questions from Twitter, she gets a real softball, like, layup question from an account Bravo Baby, one, two, three, which is strikingly similar to her thing. Absolutely her. We've got to figure out how many of these, like, random Bravo bunch of numbers accounts are just

Rachel Fuda. Have you heard that, like, dead internet theory where the bulk of the conversation and things that are on the internet are from bots and dead people? No. Oh, okay. Well, I think we need to augment this theory and say that, you know, a portion of that is from housewife bots and fintas. Bots, dead people, and Rachel Fuda. That's where most of the content is coming from the Ramosphere.

Every time somebody puts like a negative comment on whatever post now, I'm going to reply like, okay, Rachel Fuda, we know it's you. Yeah. Jen was doing good, too. Jen was really, really entertaining to be, Jennifer Aiden with, yeah, I'm going after a,

Margaret, a potpuss woman and, and old, not in a numerical sense, but old in a more meaningful sense somehow. Yeah. And then Margaret accuses Jen of like hijacking the whole season with this inflow,

info, like plot line about the, the bit of information that she was disseminating, even though apparently everybody knew it except for Danielle, it turns out. And like, yeah, she fucking did. That's like good housecraft. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, she played the game. She played you.

Like, she, yes, she hijacked the season. That's a show of good strategy. But still it's Teresa's fault, by the way. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And also when Jen like really defends Bill and like gives this like whole lengthy explanation of like why Bill spent so much time in the pool room and he's like, you know, he'd explain to me like how all day at work he's talking so much when he gets home, he just feels like this and on and on just sliding like this whole like really reasonable explanation that Bill allegedly gave her. And it's like she just put more words in Bill's mouth that have come out of Bill's mouth like all year long. Like there's no way he said like 5% of that. Yeah.

Every time Bill's on camera, he's like, yeah, I don't know. Okay. And then Jen's like, oh yeah, he explained it to me really well. Let me recite the eloquent paragraph. Like, sure thing, Jen. That's basically about highlights. That plus, you know, the hints about Dark Louie's emergence, which are just going to make it better in the way he's walking around,

pacing shirtless, grinning like the Joker, eating hot Cheetos backstage. is so promising. Insane. So we got a clip of him like just even coming up in the car, he's got his head like hanging out the window like a dog. Yeah, or like Keith Ledger's Joker. I'm going to keep making that comparison. But yeah, very dog like tongue hanging out,

drool flapping in the wind. And I love that like directly before the commercial break before we go backstage and see like Topless Louis. we've got this dialogue about how much Teresa likes Magic Mike or Channing Dayman. Yeah. It was just like, yeah, talking about Magic Mike and then, oh, here we go. Here's Magic Louis. Yeah.

He is pretty fit, though. He's got a pretty good, pretty shapely torso and also looks fucking insane and ready to, ready to go, ready to brawl. So that's going to be great. Oh, yeah. I liked when Frank was warning Joe not to, like, get physical with Louis, because Louis would probably kick his ass more so than Joe Judeyce. And you know what? I feel like that would be a pretty, like, close matchup between Joe and Louis. Yeah, it might come down to how much shit Louis put up his nose that day. Yeah.

But, I mean, with a bit of luck, we'll see. I don't think so. They would have teased it already, but, but, um, but it's, that's why they need to come back. Everyone needs to come back next season. Oh, absolutely. Everyone needs to come back and they need to just live in a cage together for a full season. They did that with, um, on a season of summer house during COVID, uh, they did a season where everyone was quarantined in the same house together.

Neat something like that for Jersey for sure, where they, they can't escape each other. Yeah. Yeah, just make it like that Bunwell movie where it's like you mysteriously can't leave the room and then nobody explains why. There should be a surrealist housewife show. Just like the rules of reality just like slowly get broken. Yeah, that's basically my highlights for that one. But tons of fun. Really enjoyed it.

Yeah, I had a lot of fun watching this as well. There was another thing that kind of struck me was this like hack that is apparently going around. where people are like texting and calling each other or spoofing housewife numbers and calling each other, I am very curious as to how that happened. Like someone out there has an address book that has all these housewife numbers and they're using it for what purpose?

Or somebody sold it to somebody, right? Like somebody sold that information to somebody. Yeah, the fact that there's, calling each other or that they're calling you know one housewife to another using a spoofed housewife number is really um it seems targeted like you know i i whenever i get like those scammy phone calls it's always from like a spoofed local number that i don't know but the fact that it's an actual number for another housewife or andy cohen that is going back and forth something seems like it is going on there that is specifically targeted.

And I wonder if we'll see something like that play out on one of these series. Like someone's responsible for this, I feel. Yeah. Someone in the Bravo universe is responsible for this. Yeah. And I don't really blame people for blaming Louis for everything. Because he does feel like he is like capable of just about anything. You feel like this guy's just such a wild card.

Just such a joker in the deck. You know, like it's like, you've, You feel like he could be like just like a guy who just like likes to talk shit and like blow himself up but like never does anything. Or he could be somebody who's like literally into like nefarious shit and has like underworld connections. I feel like he can go either way. Like you just don't, you can't read this guy. He's like so. Yeah.

So hard to figure out. Yeah. And there's enough people that are, you know, raising flags being like, well, Louis contacted me at my job. And Louis, you know, contacted my, my kid. It's, you know, there's enough smoke that the air quality in New York and New Jersey is. That just happened because he took a shirt off. Yeah. Let's move on to Real Housewives of Atlanta.

I thought that this was a pretty fun episode, or at least it started really fun and ended really fun for me. Middle kind of dragged a bit. But what highlights did you have? Well, if Louis was the Joker in New Jersey, I'm glad that we get the riddler in this one with Marnia's outfit. Got to have a bad bad villain at each show. Strong luck, though, but, you know, she looked like she was going to start leaving sinister hits around Gotham. Yeah, this is pretty fun. I think Kenya was really mean to Sanya.

I just wanted to say that. yeah because she didn't really do anything and she was like trying to be pretty conciliatory over the phone and I think it's worth pointing out that she clearly like made an effort to be there when she was like booked with something else I can remember she had some broadcasting thing or something and she said that was going to be really tight for her to like go there and then go to the other thing uh you know she could have just not went like candy just didn't win because she had another event going on the emity power 100 and um and and she made it

like he clearly made an effort to be there for kiddie's thing and then for kenya to react by being like well just don't come back then it's like well what the hell did she do she was actually trying to be supportive she wasn't the one fucking try to kick your door down yeah i don't think i'm pretty sure that was that was that was all marla with a bit of help from sheree too yeah shri who like was adamant that it wasn't her the knocking was not done by her yeah She didn't kick, she insists. And then, of course, we got the receipts of her kicking. It's just like, I don't know if I've said it before, but really got to give a huge shout

out to the editors of the Atlanta series. I feel like they have more fun than the editors on any other series. Like, they do so much fun shit in the edit. And my favorite little moment, I think, and this one was just when they do like, when they do Kenya's introduction, you know, like the little green screen animation. and instead of having the music, they just like play her coughing over. It just appears on screen when they're smiling at her arms crossed and the audio is just really made me laugh.

Also, Candice place is fucking wild, man. What a weird place she has. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. She's got like a smile at on skull with like gold teeth. there's like splatter paintings with like these fucking Versailles frames like insanely ordained frames for like minimalist modern art. It's and pink everywhere.

Have you ever seen photos of the Adams family set? Like I mean the original Adam's family show, the black and white show. You ever seen photos of this? Oh yeah. In color? Yeah. Yeah. Because in color it was like a full of pink.

It's like a bunch of like weird gruesome artifacts, but it's all pink. And it's great. It looks amazing. That's literally what Candy lives in. She lives in the Adam's family set. We're going to have to try to edit some clips together and see how it looks when it is done in black and white. Yeah. Yeah, Ben, I feel like this episode was a long time ago, though.

Things move fast. I don't know. What were your highlights in this one? Yeah, I think this opening scene, our sequence that takes place outside the hotel room and in the lobby, was a lot of fun for me. I really liked the back and forth between Marlowe and Maniata, both on location and in the

confessional. I thought there were lots of great lines. I particularly like the only person I let slam doors on me is Jesus. I don't know what that means. Yeah, but I like it. Yeah, it's great.

Again, the editors had a lot of fun with Marlowe's confessional where she says that bitch opened the door looking like a damn demon and then we get that clip with the like the glowing eyes

very good Marlowe being like oh Manetta kisses more ass than Kenya eats was really good another one she had was Kenya's trying to go from Kianse to Kiana so really

great confessionals and dialogue that happened in in that scene. I enjoyed it a lot. One particularly notable scene was the scene between Mama Joyce and Candy, where Candy kind of confronts her mom

about the comments that she continuously makes about Todd at BravoCon. I thought Candy did just a great job of defending Todd and their relationship against her mother. And I don't know, I just thought

that that was a really like a real moment and kind of captured a lot of authenticity and really was an encapsulation of Candy's character that I just really appreciated it. Yeah, yeah, she handled it well. She didn't step back but didn't like turn it into a fight either. Yeah. Yeah, definitely handed it well. And you know what? That like clinic they went to at the end was I the only one who found that really fucking

creepy like yeah no i was yeah that's that's another highlight that i've got written down i just like love when housewives do like weird like weird shit that you don't even know exists in the yeah like pseudo medical treatments yeah go to a strip mall and get an iv yeah and a place it looks like it's been open for one week uh and it's probably going to be closed in one week just like bare walls literally iv bags just hanging from the ceiling with like these like new like recliner chairs in a row, you know, just no like markings anywhere. Yeah, very like thrown together and temporary. We had in Winnipeg here a magic mushroom dispensary open up and it was open for about a week before it got shut down. And that's what I imagine the vibe would have been like very like

put together and temporary. You know, we're going to have to like piece out of here soon as soon as we run out of IV bags that have fallen off the back of a truck. As soon as the health authorities get on our trail, that's where they're going to get it. Yeah, that was like a horror movie set. That was some weird creepy shit. It was kind of like a liminal clinic doing who knows what. Just clear IV banks hanging from the ceiling. Well, they're talking to just such a weird set to be talking.

The like the clear cords are just dangling in front of their faces while they're discussing. Yeah, I'm looking forward to next week, and I really liked how they cut together the buildup for next week's episode. Contrasting this conversation that they have, like, about, like, being forgiving and peaceful. And it's intercut with this massive blowup that's coming three days from now. I thought that that was really good. It looks like it's going to be set at a place that is very, like, visually interesting to look at it. I saw like black light and I tried to Google what this this place was and it sounds like the activity that they're going to do involves like it's kind of like a laser day room no but

more fun probably it's it seems like an escape room which doesn't sound like it's more fun than laser tag but the like the gimmick is you're you're trying to beat the clock trying to like solve this combination in time. But if you don't, it's a giant like paintball explosion that that blows up. Oh, what? Yeah. So that's, uh, that's something that I'm very much looking forward to seeing go down, hopefully.

Yeah. How I did it would it be if they got it. And then there's no paint explosion. Yeah. That'd be really disappointing. Yeah, they need to throw some red herrings in there for the housewise specifically. I think that there are some cities that probably would not be able to get it, but I feel like Atlanta would be able to get it.

Like there's some really smart hostwives on this roster. Yeah, I think the average intelligence is a little higher on Atlanta than it is on some of these shows. I mean, we've got... Including probably the next one we're going to talk about. Well, we've got like a brilliant scientific mind like Sheree, as we saw her brilliant scientific test of the door slamming. on itself. Scientific theory and action.

Also, Sheree just tried to steal her gynaecologist's joke, by the way. Remember she was like, she was like, oh, turns out I'm pregnant. No, I'm not. I'm like, yeah, you just got the idea from your guy to call it just who made that joke but did it like much better than you did.

Did you think they were going to include that in the edit? That's why you thought you could get away with stealing it? No, of course they're going to include her original joke. It landed. It landed with Kenya. Like, she loved it. Sure, yeah. Kenya's an easy audience, though. Kenya cracks herself up by like just by saying hello.

Like, she's quick to laugh. The other thing that I feel like we need to talk about during this episode is Kenya's medical emergency, whatever that was. I found that really entertaining. You know, I love it when a housewife just dramatically has some sort of like medical emergency that is clearly not. serious, but they need to, like, get the local ambulance out and, you know, Marlowe leads a prayer circle. Thoughts and prayers for her in this difficult time. Housewives, I think, have the same, like, physical constitution as, like, the heroines of

Victorian English novels. If something gets a little too shocking or stressful, they're liable to just collapse and you have to call the local country doctor over and then you need to take the vapors and get sent to the south of France or something to recuperate. They're very delicate beings, Victorian heroines and housewives. They're just a little too much emotional stress and it's a medical emergency. I think it like kind of spoke to how big of a deal Kenya actually thought this was and like a real contrast towards, you know, how big of a deal the rest of the cast thought this was.

that she got herself so worked up about doing this halftime show that she ended up having a panic attack and not being able to do it. Yeah. And you know what? I kind of get it. Like, I don't want to be too harsh. Because you know what? She's clearly been thinking about this for a long time.

She's like really been like looking forward to this a lot. It's like it means a lot to her. And she wants to have like the whole crew down with her and the crew's like turning against her. Like I get why she's like fucking stressed out right now. Like that kind of makes sense. Yeah. You don't have to waste EMT's time for that, but I get why she's stressed out. But then Marlowe sends, like, she's like, oh, I called the hospital to send flowers,

which obviously she was informed by producer that Kenya had, like, checked out. And she's like, yeah, she checked out already. She's not there. So it obviously was not too serious. It seemed like just like an excuse to piece out. No, it was just housewifeitis. That's what all I've got for Real Housewives of Atlanta. Did you have anything else?

Not about it. I think we might have a little bit more to chew on the next episode. Yeah. Okay, well, Real Housewives of Orange County premiered this week, and it's the return of Tamara, which is something I was very excited about because I mean, I think everyone has an opinion on Tamara and whether you love her or hate her, I feel like it's undeniable that she is one of the best to ever play the game. And at the very least, she was like a game-changing housewife because she really defined

what it meant to be a housewife. So seeing her come back is just a breath of fresh air. Before we get into it, something that we want to start doing is when a new series or a new season premieres, we're going to go through the taglines and just rank them. I've seen these all. The feeds that we watched didn't have these in the episode. So these are going to be a surprise to you, Dylan. I'm going to read them out.

and then I want you to guess whose tagline it is and let me know what your thoughts are. Okay. This might be a little tough for me because I actually don't really know OC well. I don't know most of these women. Okay. But I can guess based on what I've seen so far. I think these will probably be relatively easy to guess. But yeah.

I'm going to be doing power rankings at the same time. I'm going to power rankings. Okay. This is a bit of a gimmie. I might have been on pause, but now I'm ready to play. Oh, well, that's going to be Tamara up because she was away for a few seasons, right? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I guess you've got a bit of a image there of like a VCR or something, but that's not very evocative to be. I'm given that like a B minus. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I agree.

And I think that's generous. I could easily do C plus. I'm going to say B minus because I guess, I guess there's a bit of imagery going on, but you have to squint. You have to squint for it. Okay. Speaking of imagery, I live my life in HD, sharp, bright, and more focused than ever. That's not bad.

Who would that be? Heather? Yeah. Heather Debrow. Yeah. So that's what the HD is for, I'm assuming. Oh, I didn't even think of that. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. You know, that makes it better now that I'm thinking of it that way. Like, let's give, you know what, I'm going A. Just straight up A. That's a good one. That's a good one. In Orange County, I always call the shots and it's always tequila.

Who is the biggest drunk on the show? Is it Shannon maybe? It's Shannon. You got it. Oh, man, I'm killing these. Yeah. That's, yeah, that's not a bad one. It's kind of an obvious play on words a little bit, you know.

But it's kind of funny. I'll give it, I'll give that at A-M-Binus. Yeah, it's no if life gives you lemons, put nine in a bowl, that's for sure. That's one of my favorite all-time taglines from Shannon. Oh, yeah. She will have to write the taglines if we get our surrealist toast, if she'll have to grab because that's so surreal. Well, how about this one?

If you're going to waste my time, at least hand me a taco. So. Is there a pun I'm missing? I can't see a put in there. So first of all, A plus. Gina? No. Okay.

Well, Emily then? Yeah. Okay. Is she referencing something from another season with the taco thing? Not as far as I know. Not as far as you can tell. Okay. That makes better.

Perfect. The only difference between my past and present? Well, that's just apples and oranges. Wait, that's how it's phrased? Yep. Because the two clauses don't really match, do they? Right? The only difference between my past and present?

Well, that's just apples and oranges. Yeah. that doesn't it's like not even a well-constructed sentence like we we haven't heard the read on it yet because it hasn't aired i don't think but that's what was released um is that going to be jina yeah okay that is because i mean it should be like comparing my past to my present is the apples and oranges right like it for it to like hang together better yeah because it's like you didn't tell me what the only difference is you just like switch to a different a different tense.

Like it's, it's, it's, and that's also a really weird. So yeah, that's a plus too. That's an a plus. That's great.

It's a brain breaker. Yeah. It is. It's so weird. It's hard to like, to, like get that twisted up over, you know,

like eight words or whatever. So if you could like do something like really baffling in such a short amount of words, you're doing great. You're killing it. That's a good one. Okay. And finally we've got the,

uh, the rookie Jennifer with, with my core may be strong but my resilience is stronger. That's kind of weak actually. Yeah, I think that this is a very weak. I'll give it a C plus. All right. Any jostling within the ranking now that you've heard them all?

So I've got two A pluses. So otherwise the ranking is set. But I guess I got to decide which one I like better. I think G-9s is better. It's got the extra weird factor. That's what I'm really looking for. It's like a G.D.A plus plus to give her the first spot. Emily's taco shit was second.

Heather's like HD TV reference is third. Then we've got Shadden's. Oh, Shannon's again? In Orange County, I always call the shots and it's always tequila. Right, yeah. Okay, so then we've got that. Then at the back of the pack, Tamara's OKWod and Jen's weak one. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that that's a fair ranking. I think I like Emily's more just the, it's a bit more visual to me. Like there's, it's, there's action to the act of handing me a taco. Like, sure, yeah. Yeah. It's a bit more, more kinetic. Sure, sure.

There's motion lines in the frame. Yeah, okay. Yeah. What were your thoughts on the premiere of Real Housewives of Orange County? Oh, yeah, pretty interesting. Like I say, this is not a series. I know very well. So I'm happy to get into it more.

Since it's a series, I don't watch too much. I'm immediately like interested by the setting. I really like to a new setting when we're starting a new show. And what's what's really fascinating about this setting to be is, for one thing, it looks like shit where they are. Like it looks like just like a bunch of like strip malls and McMansions. Like when they do, when they edit together, their little montages between scenes, it looks lame as hell.

but I like the kind of contrast all throughout it or not necessarily even a contrast, but the fusion of like pretty lowbrow middle class like suburban Americana with like these kind of hollow references to great wealth, like these gigantic homes and in which people are like unwrapping frozen pizzas. Yeah. And, uh, and, you know, like going through drive-thrus. Uh, and just the way that like all of these like, just shared cultural references seem to be like just like very, very middle class Americana stuff.

I'm not saying that like totally judgingly. Like, but, but it's like, um, the kind of reference of extreme wealth are, are just kind of like the size of the rooms they're in and the obvious expense of the spaces they're in, whereas like everything they seem to be like eating and drinking is like the same thing that's like suburban moms do all over the country and like like, you know, car based suburbs and and the outskirts of Tucson or whatever. And it's just that's like really entertaining to be. Like the best example of that to be is when they're in Heather's place.

And you know, Gina comes over and she's like, oh, you know, she had to go through three gates to get here. Yeah. And this like weird like stare. I'm parisial, McManchin that she lives in. And then she's like, I'm setting my assistant out to get a Starbucks order.

Like, what do you want from Starbucks? Why don't you just have an espresso machine in your house? Like, why aren't you just making coffee at home? Like, I don't get that. Like,

it's like, don't tell me you don't want to make the coffee because there's the assistant. Like it would be much easier for your assistant to make you like a good coffee with an espresso machine rather than to center out through the three gates. and drive to Starbucks and then come back through the three gates again. Why are you getting Starbucks at all? You've got an infinity pool on your roof with what looks like a $3,000 pizza oven installed there.

Why are you sending somebody out for Starbucks? Why do you need that? It's just the way that they seem to not be able to let go of these like kind of America to little bits of life you know these little little habits is really interesting to me yeah it does

in a lot of cases come across as like cosplay as ultra wealthy you know they're you know they're clearly affluent but not you know ultra wealthy like you see on other series like real houseways of Beverly Hills

and I feel like Heather is probably the she comes across as the most wealthiest in actuality versus any of the others. But she's still not like in the same strata as, you know, someone like Lisa Vanderpump or like Erica Jane Gerardy was when she was ripping off or when Gerardy was ripping off all these, all these victims. It's it's on a different level. Yeah. I think somebody like Lisa Vanderpump living in Beverly Hills, it would be kind of surrounded by a world where you're expected to have certain like reference of like what the wealthy lifestyle is supposed to be that you have to adhere to, which is silly.

But that's like, you know, that's how cultural bullshit works. Like Lisa Vanderpupap wouldn't be there sipping a Starbucks coffee because it's like she's in this world where it's like you have you, you eat a certain way, you drink a certain way because you're in the world of. of wealth. Or they're in like, they're, they're, they're very rich, but they don't seem to have this script of what a wealthy person is supposed

to live life. Like, so they're like, well, we're going to have a frozen pizza and get a Starbucks. Like, they have these same habits that like all middle class Americans do. And also they go to a bowling alley and are like,

do you have champagne? And they say yes. Why does this bowling alley have like, Moe? Like why? I guess that's like a very orange count you think to me. It seems like because like imagine going to a bully alley and said, you have a bottle of champagne. They're like, yeah, sure, we've got some.

Of course. Of course we have champagne. They're eating chicken wings that look like they came out of a box and they've got like a bottle of Moe on ice. Like it's great. I just love the like the combination of the two things like of like of wealth and like extremely unshoey everyday habits. What other highlights did you have from this? Well, okay, so speaking of Tamara's comeback, the intro is so nice. Her riding the bike up, montage of her riding the bike.

So good. So good. Yeah, the voiceover with like talking about how much of a badass she is as she's like biking up in a leather jacket and pulling the helmet off. It's amazing. Okay, so, Craig, since you know the show a lot better than I do, you said that Tamara is a game-changing housewife. Explain that for me. Why? Well, so she came on very early in the series.

So she came on like season three, Real Housewives of Orange County. And there wasn't really this social game to it. Like she was the first housewife that really like strategized and like was using information as currency in the way that housewives do. before that, the tone of the series was different. There was not that there was not the same sort of social strategy. It was a lot more documentarian. So she is like the proto-housewife as far as I'm concerned.

I mean, Vicky is an OG. She was there from the beginning. And she is another one that really set the tone for what a housewife. is, but that is more what the personality of a hostwife is. I think that that's what Vicky really carved out. But Tamara really shaped the game of hostwives and that ebb and flow of the dynamics between women. I feel like she was the one that carved it out.

Everyone had to step up their game to match her after her debut season. Damn, okay. Yeah. I mean, that's high praise. It makes me want to go back and watch all the previous seasons. Well, I mean, I'm fucking glad she's back then riding back into our hearts on that motorcycle. Yeah. And there's some like, like she just, I feel like she's got a really good eye for what good housewife ship should be like.

That's like, I don't listen to her and Teddy's podcast all the time. but whenever I do, it's striking how good of an eye she has for, like, the game and what people are playing at. So I really appreciate that element, too. And there's some, like, scenes where you even have seen that in past seasons. Like, there's one scene that comes to mind where Kelly Dodd has sent this, like, really abusive text message or voice message to, Vicki Gunvelson and Vicki's showing Tamara on her phone and this abusive message is using one of those Apple like emoji faces of a pig and so it's just this like this like cartoon pig that's spitting all

these vile insults at Vicki and it's it's very funny and camera like ends up like like she's empathizing with with Vicky but also like cracking up and she's like okay well that is kind of funny One thing I did really appreciate was when Emily talks to Tamara and when they're doing like the yoga thing or whatever. And I thought she was just like really skillful the way she talked to her the way like a skilled horse breaker would break in a horse. And just being like, you know, we all come from, we both come from different backgrounds. You're going to need to break down the bad bitch thing and get to the heart of things. just like looking her straight in the face, basically like putting a hand on her muzzle and being like,

all right, we're good now, right? Yeah, it just seemed like very like skillful horse breaking. I was kind of mesmerized by the way she had the lit situation. Also mesmerized, by the way that she like makes small chalk with somebody at a fast food drive through through the intercom. I know that sounds like a kind, friendly thing to do,

but I think that's kind of unhinged. You don't do that. They're trying to be efficient. They're trying to get through the day. They don't want somebody to be like, and how are you today? How are things going? Maybe she goes to that same drive-thru every day. And it's like an old friend at this point.

Yeah, very familiar. Yeah. In that sense, then it makes sense. I mean, if this is like her usual drive-thru employee, which you see so all the time, sure, if it's a total stranger and you're just like holding up the line to be like, so how things been, how you hold it up? That's a really weird behavior. I can't even like imagine doing that.

while your kids are like causing a scene like beside you and in the back seat like clearly just like really like kids getting like hyped up and just unruly and being like ah yeah i'm gonna make small talk with the drive-thru yeah uh what were your thoughts on the the newbie jennifer uh i feel like we didn't see that much from her yet so i don't really i don't i don't know what i think yet i think she hasn't done much yet right like what does she do that was notable this episode Yeah, she hasn't really done anything, but she got a surprising amount of screen time for not really doing anything, I think. Like, she was introduced via Tamara at the bowling alley, and then we got some stuff at home. And then she was, like, hosting an event.

That's a lot for a newbie on their very first episode, on the first episode of a season where you've got a returning housewife for her to really not do anything. So I was a bit surprised and disappointed. Hopefully, you know, she turns it around and we get a more interesting season from her. But I feel a little disappointed because I, and I know this is maybe an unpopular opinion, but I really liked the rookie housewives from last season of Orange County, and neither of them returned. Like,

Noella was so unhinged and, like, just wild and unpredictable. I thought that she would be a shoe-in for another season. And I thought that Dr. Jen last season, and I know she was facing, like, the most criticism for being boring from the fan base, but she was, like, very transparent on camera about her relationship with her husband, Ryan, whose actual name is Ryan, but he changed it to Ryan.

Oh, he just took the A-O-O-L? No, I think it was R-Y-N-E is how he spells it. All right. So, um, good for him. But yeah, I, I am disappointed that they're not back because I thought that they were both good additions and it kind of felt like they were giving the fan base their way, just because they weren't super likable. So we'll see what Jen does this season.

One thing that, speaking of last season, right before this aired, when I was watching on Slice in Canada, they were showing the season finale from last season, which, and I forgot about this, ends with a performance by the O.C. Reels, which is a band, a fake band that is made up of all the housewives from that season. And such an amazing performance. It is so bad. And like, it's amazing. You should watch it.

I will. I will. It was such a great way to end a season. Yeah. That does sound like the perfect way to end a season. Instead of having just one person perform, I'd be like, you're all a band now. Who wants to play drums?

That sounds great. It just sounds like a class activity, you know. just like this is the end of the school year. We're all going to put out a show. That sounds amazing. Do you have any other highlights from this? Yeah, I mean a little bit. I do want to say that when we get Gina and Heather talking on her rooftop by her infinity pool,

I do think it's like, I mean, I know that when Gina goes off, we get that classic, like, she's blathering on edit where we get the crossfades between her talking. and Heather's like, why she had avoided the conversation? And I want to say that I think that's unfair because I think she's taking the conversation more seriously than you are because she's giving a very detailed answer. I don't think giving a very detailed and personal answer is avoiding the conversation. I think it's like going in depth on the conversation. So I thought that was a that seemed like an unfair read. And even if we don't know all of what she said because of that bitchy editing choice.

But she seemed to be explaining her state of mind and stuff. And I don't think that's like avoidance. I think that's like trying to be honest. So, yeah, and also Gina and Heather are like the polar opposites in terms of like the wealth strata that they exist in. Like at least the story that we see of Gina is, you know, she is living in a tiny house and trying to like make things work for her kids. And, you know, she's a real like grinder. whereas Heather doesn't have to worry about that. So the fact that Gina's, you know, grinding it out in the off season and going to get her real estate license is, you know, that seems like a valid reason to be kind of stepping back and not engaging.

Especially since the status of Rehospes of Orange County was up in the air for a while. Like she didn't know if this show was coming back. So she was out there, you know, trying to make sure that she had some, like a landing place, getting her real estate license and, you know, so that her family could continue to survive in some form. It makes complete sense that she would be stepping back. And yeah, weird editing choice to do this like montage of Gina blathering on. Yeah. I do like the little hint of class friction and their explanations of why Gina hasn't been inviting her to things, where Heather is like, oh, like, she thinks that she can only invite me to fancy things and it's not fancy enough, like, kind of implying like, oh, she's intimidated by by wealth. And the Gina's explanation is similar, but from a different angle where she's like, she doesn't want to go to a dive bar. She wants to be invited to a dive bar and then not go to it.

Yeah. And that is actually something that's interesting that I haven't considered about Real Housewives of Orange County is that, like you said, there is some, like, class friction that is there. Like, not everyone exists on the same plane of wealth or, you know, money matters more to certain people. And that's not something that you see on a lot of franchises. Like, certainly not on Beverly Hills. everyone is, you know, playing with a lot of, like, big stacks of chips. But here, everyone's got different, like, different stack sizes. And that does lend an interesting dynamic that I think hasn't really been explored in real Housewives of Orange County,

or at the very least, I haven't picked up on that. But that's something that I'll definitely keep a watchful eye for. The only other Housewife franchise that I can think of that, had a similar type of economic playing field was Real Housewives of Dallas, where there was definitely like a huge difference between people at the top end of the strata, like Cameron Westcott versus, like, Leanne Locken, who seemed to be living in a much more modest house. Yeah, so I'm definitely going to keep an eye on that between Gina and Heather, because that seems interesting to me too.

And it's also that the way that they explain that thing differently is a neat window into kind of the uneasy relations, sometimes between more like established rich people and people more on the periphery of richness where it's like Heather wants the kind of cultural cachet that she can get from Gina, from like from her being like, maybe closer to like living a cool lifestyle. Right. And where Gino would potentially would like want access to just more money. And the fact that they can kind of sense that either person kind of want something they don't have can be kind of an uneasy, uneasy alliance. And also like even the rich people do have that kind of nouveau reach thing like I've been saying where it's like they're not really. living in this like stratified um really fixed world of like a rich person culture as I reference and I don't mean to like insult them when I say that like I don't want to come off as

being somebody like oh they're they're their new money they don't have right they don't have they don't have they don't have the culture that comes with it like no like that's like so lame like rich person culture is so lame that's but it's interesting to me because it seems like more of of like a naked naked wealth rather than like wealth that's become part of your culture. Yeah. That you have to like kind of defend and define more because you are kind of like, you know, this is like a rich suburb really, right?

Orange County is like you're in suburbia. It's a wealthy suburbia, but you're in suburbia. You're not in like the cultural center. You're on the frontiers. Yeah. And, uh, and, and, and, uh, and your wealth seems like conditional. Like it's not it's something that can go away like if you're not actively maintaining it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I mean. It seems like like a lot of these people have recently become wealthy and could quickly become not wealthy. Like it's like the naked fact of there being people who are richer and people who are less rich seems like more of an actual feature. Like it's actually visible. Right. Yeah. So I'm going to definitely keep my eye on that as it goes forward. Another interesting thing that you touched on with the relationship between Heather and Gina is like this is a very like this is a transactional relationship that you see a lot of like everywhere else.

And, um, but you actually don't see this type of relationship on housewives very frequently that I can think of where someone is engaging in this type of exchange of, you know, culture for money essentially, like, or access to culture for access to money sort of thing. But that is something that you see in other forms of media quite a bit and in real life as well. So to see this kind of emerge on housewives is interesting because like housewives, they, all the relationships are transactional in a sense that you don't. see in other other places like you don't see the same sort of transactional relationship for the purposes of like um you know attacking someone with information or or whatever like you're you constantly see these transactions between housewives and shifting alliances play out but you don't

really see the same type of uh transactional relationship that you would see in real life um or this sort of transactional relationship that you would see in real life on housewise very frequently. So yeah, that is an interesting dynamic for sure. Yeah, yeah, totally. A lot of butt touching. Just that I'd say that. That's a good point to make. Just thought there's a lot of butt touching.

And, oh, and I do like that somebody at the yoga thing is like, has the name tag that they're an intuitive healer. I just like that there's intuitive healers out there. I think that's cool. I think they should expand the intuitive. professional field. I want to be like an intuitive lawyer or

an intuitive police officer or people should just claim to be an intuitive professional. Not just healers. That sounds cool. I can see no problem with it. There was another moment that I really liked during this

and that was right at the end where they're talking about Emily and Gina are talking with Tamara about how she should talk to Shannon. And then Shannon walks up and overhears. And we're like, oh, we broke like rule one. Don't talk shit by the food.

Why is that a rule? Are you going to poison the food with your words? No, because people come up to the food to get food and you're going to get overheard by someone. If it's not the person that you're talking about. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. That makes a lot more sense.

Yeah. So even if it's not the person that you're talking about, someone who will bring it back to them and you're going to leak information that is obviously very valuable in the Housewife game. So that sort of insight into the Housewife rulebook is always interesting for me to see. Yeah, that makes sense. It's like how animals in the jungle in Africa can't let their guards down around a watering hole. You know, a lot of people are going to be congregated around it. You got to pay attention. These are laws of the jungle.

Makes sense. I'm going to take note of that. That's a good one, actually. Yeah. Do you have any other highlights or anything you want to talk about for OC? Way about covered it, I think. A promising start. Looking forward to next episode when the sunglasses come off.

Yeah. Awesome. Well, do you want to let everyone know where they can find you? Sure. I haven't plugged my old podcast in a while, so let's do that here. If you want to hear me talking about horror movies, because you love both Bravo shows and horror movies, we exist, representation. You can find episodes of my show, Mind Over Splatter, probably, well, wherever you're listening to this. I'm on substack. I haven't written anything for a while, but I'll try to fix that soon. Awesome. That's been Bravo Outsider for this week.

Be sure to check out our special Vanderpump reunion coverage. We covered part three. Big time team Raquel over here. So you'll want to check that out. We're also going to release a VR version of that. If for some reason you want to watch and listen to a podcast in VR, check that out on YouTube. Probably the first and only Vanderpump Rules VR podcast that's been released. So we're making history, breaking new ground here.

VR vr, we're going. But otherwise you can find us on YouTube. You can listen wherever you're listening to podcasts. Bravo Outsider.com at Bravo Outsider on Instagram. Bravo Lover 1, 2, 3, 4 on Twitter. Until next week, keep on Wifen. Bye.