Oscars Outsider - Rubbin' The Suit Off Your Papaya w/ Matt Nightingale (RHUGT S03E04, RHONJ S13E09)

Episode Date: April 7, 2023

Comedian Matt Nightingale joins us to talk  Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip Season 3 and see what's in the bottom of the coffee cups in the latest from Real Housewives of New Jersey (RHUGT S03E04, RHONJ S13E09) Find Dylan on substack at https://dylanferguson.substack.com/ [https://dylanferguson.substack.com/] Find Matt Nightingale https://www.instagram.com/andynoblejokesInstagram [https://www.instagram.com/mattncomedy]and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@mattncomedy] Music by FASSounds [https://pixabay.com/users/fassounds-3433550/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=music&utm_content=112194] from Pixabay [https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=music&utm_content=112194]

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Bravo Outsider. I'm your host, Craig Midwinter, and with me as always is my co-host Dylan Ferguson. Dylan, how's it going? Hi. Yeah, doing fine. Back in my usual home in Tadu, Zach, but I'm recording from my office this evening. So nice to see you guys. Bravo Outsider Headquarters.

Yeah, that's right. It does kind of look like I'm in like a server farm here. This is where this is the headquarters of the show. We host it in this room. room next door is where we sell ketamine to Russia. Well, each week we bring on someone who doesn't follow Bravo, make them watch the show and get their takes. This week's outsider is a real hunk of comedy. It's Matt Nightingale. I'm Matt Nightingale. Get the Pinio ready because it's turtle time.

I like that. I like the Ramona Singer reference there. Wow. You, holy shit, you really... You're not going to get one bad. Trust me. That's crazy. I didn't catch that. I thought that was Daniel Carvey. It totally went past.

So, Matt, one thing that we like to do with everyone that comes on, just get a little bit of background on what your experience with reality TV is, what you've been exposed to. Yeah, not a ton. I watched season, I want to say season two of Survivor when it came out back in like 2000, 2001. I watched intermittently a recent season of Celebrity Big Brother with the one where the guy from Sugar. The one where the guy from Sugar Ray was on it. Okay, yeah, yeah. I think that was like season one. Was that season one?

I think it was season one of Celebrity Big Brother. Okay, yeah. And then other than that, yeah, nothing much. The odd episode of Amazing Race. But usually the competition ones. So this one was like. Yeah, it's a real, real different genre. Yeah.

You know, the competition. Yeah. Yeah. So we're going to, today we're going to talk about Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip, episode four of season three and the most recent episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Let's get right into it. Let's talk about Real Housewives Ultimate Girls trip. Matt, do you want to just like give us,

your first impressions of all the women on this trip? Yeah. So I liked this. I thought this was a good introduction for me because it's like the All-Star game. So I get to see everybody, it seems like, at their best in mid-season stride. Yeah, to me, I liken it a lot to, like, wrestling, where it's like they have their characters. and the point of being there is just to be there. There's really nothing other than the fight.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's definitely like a condensed down version of, you know, what real housewise that's a franchise is. And I'm sure you saw quite a bit of context from New Jersey, which has some of the most, like, longest running, deeply entrenched drama of all the franchises. Yeah. There's like family like blood feud on New Jersey, whereas real Housewives ultimate girls trip is, you know, a bunch of women that mostly don't know each other that are thrown into duke and out.

That's why I liked it is because I didn't know any of them or any of the backstories, but that didn't seem to matter too much. Like I did go back and watch some episodes before the one that you guys assigned me to. But I feel like, yeah, I'm pretty much, I get it. To some extent, there's some stuff that I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. For sure. Did you have any highlights from the episode that sit out to you? Well, like, somebody's going to jail in Utah?

Yeah. They kind of buried the lead on that one. It's a whole thing. Right. Yeah. So Jen Shaw, who's one of the cast members of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, she's going to prison for, I think, seven and a half years now. her sentence was reduced.

But she was like the kingpin of one of those telephone scams that scam old people out of money. What? Yeah, it's crazy. That's who's on the other side of those calls? A housewife? A housewife? Real housewife of Salt Lake City. Yeah.

So she, there was like a huge like sting operation. And it's funny because on one of the episodes in season two of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, they're all getting ready for like to go on a cast trip and they're waiting in like one of the the vehicles to go in the parking lot of where they're all supposed to depart from and all of a sudden a whole bunch of like federal officers like converge on the parking lot of this like beauty salon that one of the other hostwives own and they're like looking for her no way yeah yeah it was like truly a crazy event within the bravo sphere wow they must have loved that bravo oh yeah for sure sure oh yeah so then okay the feds probably loved it too yeah the feds love that yes

well the feds probably loved having so much footage to go through to like try to piece together because her assistant was also like um indicted in this and he ended up like flipping they got a whole bunch people to flip on Jen Shaw and she ended up like she was like the big fish that they want to take down right including it seems one of the ladies that's on girls trip flipped on her or maybe that that seems like that's what the argument or that's what the discussion is um sort of so while she wasn't involved and she didn't like flip but she was like her friend like and was like standing by her until the trial and then eventually standing too close to her within striking distance.

Right. That's how she got a black eye apparently, right? Yeah. And Jen Shaw ended up like pleading guilty and it was like apparently surprising to Heather even though it seemed like there was like hugely overwhelming evidence against Jen. Hmm, okay. All right. Yeah. I mean, other than that for highlights, I mean, the whole massage part where everybody's really getting their moan on was a little. Those massages looked intense.

I'm not a massage expert, but what the hell was going on there? They're crawling all over them, like fucking getting entwined in their limbs and shit. Yeah, getting them like backbreakers and stuff. It looked dangerous. It looked like, yeah, it looked like the kind of chiropractor appointments that like a week later you collapse dead because all your discs throughout an alignment. I don't know. Maybe this is all like really certified professional grade shit. I don't know anything about tie massages.

Maybe is that a type of massage? Where I live, if it's a Thai massage, there's like implied air quotes on their brother. Right. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, I'm going to assume they know their business, but those massages looked insane. Yeah.

Yeah. So I'll give them a pass for, for letting a few sounds slip there. Yeah, especially Giselle's like, cha, cha, cha, ja, ja. What the fuck is that? What the hell? That is, that to me is funny because, like,

she is such a shit disturb. Can I swear on this? Oh, yeah. Okay. She is such a shit disturber that you'd think, and she seems like pretty well, like she has a pretty manicured character, for lack of a better term.

So you'd think that she would check that. Like, she seems to be the type of person that would have nothing that you can use on her, and she's giving them a little bit there, maybe. Yeah, you know. Not the first time in this trip that she's been called out for making weird noises, but I guess like you say mad,

which she's generally pretty controlled in terms of what she says. Like she knows her job well or well. So I guess if you can't really pick apart our words, you can at least pick apart the nonverbal sounds that come out of her mouth. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, like,

if she's going to give up something, that's a relatively, like, safe thing to give up. So maybe that's kind of, you know, why she was doing it. You can't argue about that for,

like, three episodes. It's true. It's still, she's still pretty Teflon at this point. In my mind, I haven't seen her in any other seasons or whatever, but.

Yeah, if you do that much like shit deserving, obviously, like, pressure is going to build up against you. So giving them like a little bit of a release valve to like pick on her for making these like stupid sounds is probably an easy way to like diffuse some of that. Right. You're saying she even planned the sounds out, Craig. Yeah. Yeah. This is that. I think she is.

Yeah, Giselle is a mastermind. And we are getting to witness this. She is. You know what really stood out to me too was like just at the beginning of the episode when. Candice and Leah are just sort of like giving each other like a pep talk before breakfast in the hotel room. It's like, God damn, what a life. Like you have to have to have a pep talk before you go down to breakfast with your friends.

Yeah. What an exhausting life. Well, there's like, there's a history between Candace and Giselle since they come from the same show. And it seems like, Giselle has done such a good job. of pitting everyone against each other and like kind of staying out of it on this trip. And Candice knows like she needs someone on her side, even if it's like just Leah, who I think has been doing like pretty well on this trip. She's someone that gets like a lot of hate as a housewife for reasons that I don't really fully understand because I think she's like fairly effective. But yeah, Candice sees the need for an ally.

And so, you know, she's latched on to Leah. And vice versa, too. Like, Leah also needs an ally. And they right away from the, when you first introducing them into the hotel, they right away identified each other as allies. Yeah. Maybe even before that, because they brought like matching like spice girl outfits to wear in their weird like confessional. Oh, yeah. I was going to say that they looked like characters in a 90s fighting game.

They have some wild outfits. They're joint confessional. Yeah, that's funny because like, When I figured out, like, a lot of these women were coming in pairs from different shows, I thought, well, at first I thought, well, now they have a built-in ally. But that's actually a built-in enemy for most of them, right? Yeah. Like, who is it, Candace and Giselle? Yeah, they're clearly, like, knew that they were going to be budding heads.

Same with the Utah ladies. Yeah. Yeah, you can see how it can go both ways. Like, you've got the Miami girls, Alexiad Marisol, who are tight. They're a tight unit. They are a very tight unit. You know, Giselle and Candice have difficult history.

And then you've got the Salt Lake City girls who come in. And like at the start, they're doing some dorky-ass like pinky swear where they're kissing each other's thumbs or something. Just like the nerdiest like schoolgirl will be friends for other stuff. And then like cut forward two episodes later and they're fucking angrily eating scorpions at each other. Just sneering daggers across the table. Yeah, that scorpion thing was bizarre. Yeah.

Yeah, I thought that the scorpion game was like a really excellent. We've seen a lot of games on this trip. And this scorpion game is like very unique in the realm of like. It redeemed like the section of Porsche planning the activities because the earlier activities that Porsche had were just like really lame. Yeah. Just like pretty half-ass like trying to get a party started stuff. But once they bust out the scorpions, it was like, all right, here we go. Yeah.

Just asking extremely specific pointed questions and yeah, great stuff. Totally. I'm going to do that at a party one of these days. Really, really just bust out. Yeah, yeah. Tell me the truth or eat a scorpion. Yeah. Yeah, that was good.

I like, I think Candice might be one of my, or she might be my favorite, I think, because she's sort of like, she seems like the people's hero in the sense. like she doesn't seem to be the shit disturber, but she seems to have the skills and the inclination to go tit for tat with Giselle and and with Portia too. So that's kind of why I'm kind of team team Candice. Yeah, Candice has like Candice is on a bit of a victory lap right now. She has had like a lot of edits that have kind of made her the villain because she's like pretty like reactive. Like she doesn't go. and, you know, start shit or stir the pot,

but she does, like, react very strongly and very emotionally. And that's kind of been her role. And it hasn't, like, painted her in the greatest light within the fan base. But in my opinion, she's always been an excellent housewife. And this past season, she got, like, a great edit. And she was, like, clearly in the right in this conflict that she's had with Giselle. and so from it went from like a whole bunch of fans being like get her off the show like why is she here to everyone being like oh candace is like our queen now oh really so watching this trip which takes place like this trip took place after potomac wrapped their like main season but before they had done the like the reunion that they usually do that they tack on at the end of the season okay so um to see this kind of victory lap extended did was pretty interesting because this the timing actually works out for all three of the

franchises that um that have pairs on the show so Miami and Salt Lake City also this took this trip took place in between like their seasons filming and and the reunions so you're seeing like some of that dust has settled and other things are kind of like brewing up to the surface so I think that that is one of the elements that is making this a, a really interesting girls trip because you're seeing all this drama from the seasons that had just played out kind of emerging and like, you know, being dredged up.

Right. Yeah, totally. Yeah. But those Miami ladies, they're tight and they, they seem like ducks in a pond, you know, like everything water off their back,

you know? Yeah. Like, as long as Marisol doesn't drink herself to, death. Yeah, they are really tight. And they've got probably the longest history out of all of them since their show started like 10 years ago and ended up taking like an eight year hiatus. But they, they were there from the beginning.

So they do have like a very long history with each other. And I thought it was interesting because, you know, you do see all the other girls that have history with each other. they like when they fight they're like fighting but like Alexia and Marisol it was a very like sibling like squabble that's the only thing that you see them they that's kind of the only way that they butt heads when they were you know kind of nipping at each other when they went back to the room and Pepsi hadn't cleaned up the room and Marisol was complaining about it and Alexia was pissed off about her complaining yeah that didn't even strike me as a conflict to be quite honest. Yeah, mine are

beggaring. Yeah. Yeah, they seem very like, what's the word, diplomatic, they'll empathize with people independently, but they won't necessarily side

with them, which seems to be like a strong strategy for them. They're not inserting themselves deeply into the games, I don't think. Like you said, like Ducks on Service of a That's a good image. Like, they're kind of just hanging out a little bit.

Yeah. A little bit of a remove compared to some of the other ones, I think. What was your take on the conflict between Heather and Whitney? Oh, those are the Salt Lake City Girls. Yeah. Right. So I don't quite understand what's going on. Like, so Heather's leaving the Mormon church or claims to be in a book.

Yeah. Right. I think that's basically what it's all based on. That's what it's all about. Okay. And Whitney just is like you got to be official about this. I guess I don't understand why it's such a big deal, but I'm not Mormon. And I think that reaction is shared by a lot of people on the show too,

who were kind of like really invested in taking sides the first time it came out because it was like obviously a thing they both cared about a lot. And then when it came up again, you could see a lot of them being like, okay, I don't, I have a hard time like having stakes in this game because it's a very Mormon thing. Obviously it means a ton to Whitney. Like, you know, she talks about trying to separate from the church for like 15 years or something. Which does sound fucked. Oh yeah. Yeah. Sure. Oh, sure. It was crazy. And she was raised in this community and everything. So obviously, it's a huge deal for her. Like for sure. For like an outsider though, it's hard to like understand

what the meaning is. So it doesn't necessarily translate greatest drama. She definitely kind of scored a point against Heather there because Heather was really strongly implying that she's also been trying to separate from the Mormon church then just kind of let slip to Porsche that like oh no I haven't actually done that at all so um right so in terms of like calling her out in a lie Whitney has a strong case there in terms of like the actual basis of the drama I'm kind of with some of the girls being like all right not don't really care anymore at this point it's low it's it's it's big stakes for you you a little hard for me to get invested when I don't really know what you're talking about

talking about the role all the time yeah i'll i'll google it eventually i guess yeah it was enough for giselle to plant the question in reasonable or sketchy uh to get that popping off which which is what makes giselle such a like a great player like as much as i grew to dislike her i know there's no show without her and without yeah yeah right But, like, that's her true genius, it seems, is like she kind of incepted that conflict, right? Like, she brought it up and then just watch the puppets dance. Yeah. And you see her doing that throughout the entire trip.

And like, basically every, every setting. She's a master at it. I thought that this conflict was one thing that, like, stood out as an example of how the Salt Lake City Girls are, again, out class on this trip. Totally. really like, you know, it's the one conflict that they are latched on to. And, you know, you can tell everyone else is getting bored within, like, find something else to fight about. I think Portia even says in a conventional, like, you know, can't you find something else to

talk about? This is all you want to talk about. Yeah. It really reminds me a lot of, like, seasons of Rehouse Boys of Beverly Hills when they kind of had a bit of a slump where the cast would just latch on to a single, single issue and make the entire storyline of the season revolve around just that. And it ended up being a very like feeling very flat. Even though there was high drama, it would still felt flat because there was no

texture of other issues going on or any, you know, you got to have some deep. Triumphs or anything like that. It was always everything was focused on Lucy Lucy, Lucy Apple Goosey, this dog. That's a thing. Yeah, that's a thing. So they said Lucy Lucy Apple Goosey a lot that season on TV. You're not familiar with Lucy Goosey Apple Goosey Gatey Gate. Okay.

All right. Yeah. So Lisa Vanderpump, who is a housewife on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, she runs this like no-kill dog shelter. And she gifted a dog named Lucy Lucy Lucy Alice. apple goosey or apple juicy or something like that. And she gifted it to another housewife who was apparently her close friend. And then Doreet, this housewife that got Lucy, Lucy,

apple juicy, ended up. This dog was like nipping at her kids or something like that. So she gave it away to a kill shelter. Oh, she. And Lisa found out. And yeah, so that's what the big conflict was. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah, I agree. I feel like those... The Mormon sounds fascinating now, yeah. They are getting out class. They're sloppy players, I feel. Like, Heather, like, she should have known better than to try and... To say to the other women, like, let's try and get Leah drunk.

Like, she should have... If she wanted to sabotage Leah, she should have gone about it in a much more nonchalant. way. Yeah. And then also like, you know, we're going back a couple episodes here, but also, no, that's fine. Totally. But also like a little bit later, she said something on, I think on the boat where she was like, oh, I've had friends who were like recovering alcoholics and I slipped them drinks. And it's just like she comes off as being so nakedly unethical. Yeah. And just like she's such like a strategizer. They're all strategizers. But she just like seems like I called her like a really like LinkedIn vibes kind of person in the last episode. I think. And. And. And that like just kind of dorky obvious like planning and strategizing with like zero ethical basis whatsoever. You maybe could describe a lot of people on these shows like that,

but just how like blatantly obvious it is with her is just a bad look. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. And Whitney too is like she'll, she was ready to show off that picture with the black eye at the drop of. And just because she wants to get in the good graces of, uh, of, uh, of, uh, of, uh, Jizel and, Portia. Like Heather was right about that, I think. Oh yeah. I'm a bit of a like a Whitney apologist. I think that she's great. And I feel like the black eye thing, she knows that it's

run its course and is boring now. But she's looking for something other than this like Mormon role thing to talk about. So I feel like that that's some of the reason. I think she's less responsible for, you know, Salt Lake City being, you know, underclass. But even, even still, there's like it's absolutely to get into good graces and make you know alliances yeah i mean that said look they had the FBI swarm them in their own show so they're doing something wrong slash right yeah exactly so i don't know but yeah like Whitney just seems to me like she's searching for some sort of identity and she needs something to latch on to and that's what she's trying to do there but yeah she has no allegiance or or yeah so uh Dylan what what were your highlights for uh the real

house wise ultimate girls trip um other than Whitney and Heather lock a guy's and eating scorpions angrily which was so good again uh my highlight was like when they're they making that like on the same conversation when they're making that like only fans joke uh and mariselle describes presumably Jacking off has rubbing the suit off your papaya. That is an absolute like all-timer Hall of Fame marasole line. This woman is one of our greatest poets. I absolutely love her. So that's the best part of the episode by far for me.

Yeah. Otherwise, I don't know. That's like I do think the Salt Lake City girls are like not, you know, we'll keep talking about them a little bit, I guess. I do think that they are justifying their presence a little bit more because they are getting a little more interesting. You know, I said before I wasn't even really sure why they're there. Now I'm starting to enjoy like how,

how dorky they are, but like how fun it is when these, these like valedictorian like kind of Tracy Flick dorks like get really pissed at each other. It's starting to be fun. And then the fact that it ends with Whitney like promising to dial up our campaign. It gives me hope that this might have more to offer. If they can just stop talking about the fucking roles, it might be good stuff.

I was also on the topic of Salt Lake City. I was also excited that we got like a FaceTime cameo from Lisa Barlow, who is one of the shining stars of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. You know, there wasn't much to it. Just, you know, Whitney giving her the deal. download and basically being like, oh, I, I assigned too much loyalty to the fact that Heather brought me on the show. And I realized that it has like biased me towards you. I thought that that was like kind of a nice conversation to get as a fan of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. And just,

I always love seeing Lisa even, you know, just for a moment. Yeah. Yeah. It deepens their conflict, too to have another person chime in. I would say one thing I would urge you to check out. Whitney has a very distinct voice and cadence and so does Lisa Barlow. Vanessa Bayer, who was on SNL, is a big Housewives fan and she appears on Watch What Happens Live, the talk show that's on Bravo. and there is a segment you can find where she does like a scene as both of them like going back and forth and she just absolutely nails their voices and cadence.

It is it is hilarious. I definitely recommend looking that up. I love that. I will. Yeah, Vanessa Bayer is so funny. She's so good. Oh yeah. She's amazing.

Is there anything that's going to get, is there anything that's going to get a wedge in between Portia and Giselle? No? Like, I, that's a good question. I don't think so. I don't think the trip is like long enough. So they weren't on the same show, but it like they weren't on the same real housewife show, but they were on a show together. There was another talk show that was on Bravo called the chat room during COVID where it was, uh, Jazelle, Portia and then Kate Chastain who was on below deck, who is one of the best real reality personalities. in my opinion and a girl from summer house they would you know talk about various bravo things they were on that for a while so they do have like a bit of a history and um they seem to have a genuinely good connection not that that necessarily means anything in housewise because that gets blown off all the time but i don't think that this trip is long enough to like blow up that relationship. Same with, you know, Alexia and Marisol.

I think that their like alliance is, you know, too close for that to get blown up. And probably like too important to the show like it, uh, to Real Housewives of Miami. If that relationship was going to get blown up, Alexia and Marisol that is, they would want that to happen on Real Housewives of Miami, not Real Housewives of Miami. Right. Yeah. That's right. I mean, those two don't. seem like they don't have no real machinations though like Giselle and

Portia do so I could see them you know self-destructing their relationship as opposed to Marisol and Alexia yeah for sure but um did either of you guys have any further thoughts on Real Housewives ultimate girlship before we move on to New Jersey I'm good on my end yeah no we can move on. All right. Yeah. So on Real I Boys of New Jersey, this was a great episode in my opinion. I always love when we get a fortune teller of some sort. I think that that is a great

plot device that they use occasionally in Bravo. And this was no exception. This was like an all-star fortune teller event. Oh my God. This fucking fortune teller. The thing is about her, like, I mean, I don't want to shit on anybody's, like, fondness for spirituality or occultism or whatever the fuck. That shit's cool.

I'm not going to go, like, read an atheist and start saying, that's fake or whatever the hell. That's cool. I love that stuff. But I think, like, anybody, even somebody who's very sensitive and open to spiritualism will see this person as just a fucking cheap cold reader doing like, you know, the cold reading equivalent of like pick a card, like very entry level stuff. And, you know, cold reading is an art.

Like it's, it's, there are incredible, uh, mentalists doing cold reading out there. I'm sure, you know, you've probably seen clips on YouTube or maybe a stage actor or something. Some of these people are so fucking talented at the questions that they ask and the way they can make statements that sound very precise will actually be very generous. and can really create an impression of drawing secrets directly out of someone's brain. This woman, this fucking Ness Cafe, Miss Cleo is not one of those people. I don't know what fucking Craigslist ad. Jennifer responded to to to find her or like what Facebook marketplace post or like handwritten signed tape to a telephone poll she answered to find her.

She sucks. She's not good. She's not good at this. And what makes it worse is that Jennifer, clearly fed her information. And instead of like suddenly incorporating it, she's clearly just spitting out specific words and phrases that Jennifer gave her, completely blowing this wide open, making completely obvious that she's been fed information beforehand.

Yeah. And Jennifer's a terrible actor. We found out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just an awful performance I thought from the mentalist. I agree it's great that she's there.

Amazing that she's there. But she sucks at her job. She's bad. I'm sorry if you're listening. You probably have like a bunch of other jobs, so I'm sure you'll be fine. You know, keep putting those great close out there. But that, you know, I feel bad for Jen in that moment, too. Because I think it's no secret.

I'm kind of on like Team Jen when it comes to her versus Margaret. I would like to see her campaign win. And I think she got some wins in this episode, right? getting this at Dolores's house was a catty maneuver. Oh, yeah. Agreed to. You know,

Margaret realizes that right away when she, uh, she kind of sits down as like, what's going on here? And then having that capped off with Teresa inviting them on like the same day to be her bridesmaids, and Dolores and Jennifer, like kind of creating a block there right in front of,

uh, Margaret's face, uh, was great. So things were going good for Jennifer. Uh, you know, when the,

when the shitty mentalist is like looking at the coffee cup and is for Margaret and it's like, you know, I see in your future like a, I'm seeing an L. I'm like, yeah, you fucking do. Like she's hitting the mat right here. But then, but then it just goes south for Jennifer because she does such a bad job. And she was just like, and is so obviously planted that this looks terrible for Jennifer. This is, this is so going to be used against her. Yeah. She, she landed the Dolores endorsement. She landed the Tereese endorsement. Then she had the Turkish Turkish coffee, got the shits and needed the Charmin endorsement. What was the deal about these endorsements? Like, what are we talking about there?

Oh, it was some line that Margaret said. I don't even remember what the line was. I don't remember what I was referring to specifically in terms of, yeah, I'm kind of confused in what context it came up initially. I did think that Marge's line about, you know, who's like endorsing you, Charmin, because you've got 16 bathroom and you're full of shit. I thought that was like an amazing line. That was a good score. Yeah.

Yeah. Just from this episode, this is the only episode I got to see. But I really liked Margaret. Like, I think she's got a really like sharp wit about her. Yeah. Yeah. I think like she's definitely very sharp and very calculating. She comes across as very smart on a cast that doesn't have a lot of like schemers.

And, you know, I don't want to say that they're not like as smart, but they're definitely not as like calculated housewise. So she definitely fills that role. She's very like calculated. She's, you know, thinking two, three seasons out as opposed to like, you know, two episodes out. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Her strategies are on a high plane. She knows where to apply her arsenal strategically. So what was, what, what's the deal with Danielle and her brother? What like, what's going on there?

So the story of Danielle and her brother, at least as far as we know on the show, is that Danielle, I guess, was trying to become like a TikTok influencer during COVID or whatever and was like dancing and stuff like that. And her brother kept like commenting like stuff insulting her on these posts that she was doing. And so she blocked him and he flipped out and they stopped talking. That's really. Well, that's what she said so far. And some of the other women have decided that there must be more to the story.

At Margaret's prodding, I think, or Margaret's encouragement. And Jackie, too. Jackie too. I think Jackie was the first person who said it on camera, but you see Margaret kind of pick up the ball right away as like a potential secret that could be maybe used against Danielle if she's hiding part of the truth because that's Margaret's specialty is like finding out secrets about people and holding it over their heads.

I see. Okay. Yeah. But one of my favorite parts was in a confessional one, Jen was like, why you got a prod about Danielle and her brother? Like, I'm not going to go asking questions like I'm inspector. Gadgett.

Yes. This is so funny because like, like interrogation skills is the last thing Inspector Gadget is known for. Exactly. Like famously dogged

investigator inspector inspector gadget. He's got a helicopter in his hat. That's what he's known for. I'm really starting to like Louis more and more. I know Craig doesn't want to hear this.

Craig's very anti-Louis. I get it. Louis. fucking weirdo. That's why I like him though. I'm just like really coming around to how funny of a person this guy is. We already covered

because it was in like the on the next episode, but we already covered the thing where he says that like I wear their grandfather's pajamas, you know, I wear your kid's father's pajamas or whatever. Like just like just how weird that is. But I just love that we've got this

fucking like meat head in like just stressed jeans and a tribal t-shirt where there's like spiked hair, beat red face pumped full of bad filler and Botox, little beady eyes, who's determined to talk like he's like a purple or an empath TikTok therapist or something. I think Joe even says at one point, like he keeps talking like he goes to a lot of therapy or something. That's exactly what he's doing. He's just like he just loves using therapy language or trying to use therapy language and try to like put on this personality of being like the the thoughtful empathetic conciliator and it just clashes so much

with everything else about him that I that I find it beautifully hilarious. I love this guy. Yeah, you know, I that makes me like reconsider, you know, is it that I don't like Louis or is it that I don't like that, you know, Joe Gorga has a correct read on? someone. Like, I just don't like giving a point to Joe Gorga. Oh, for sure. For sure. I get that. Here's the thing, though, like, yeah, Joe Gorga does have a correct read on him in that he's like, you know, he's kind of playing at being somebody. I don't think that's really who he is. Fair. Joe's doing that too. Oh, yeah. Everybody does that to a certain extent. That's part of being human. You project a certain personality, whatever. These guys do it a little bit more flagrantly than most people do. The thing is,

the difference is that Joe Gorga is projecting exactly who you would expect him to be. He looks like and acts like exactly what you would expect Joey Gorga from Jersey to look and act like. He is the most Joey Gorga from Jersey. You know, you put him in a charity ball game and he's going to cut the sleeves off the jersey before he gets out there. You got him renovating his house in this episode. He's got to make fucking sure the cameras have him walking up in the scaffolding where he's so boyishly proud, he almost falls out. Like, just so happy to be up there and just pretend that he's, he's, you know, as tall as a regular person. And the fact that Joe Gorga is like projecting like kind of like, you know, muscle bound meathead, macho dude, you know, pizza eaten meatball Joe from Jersey, it's an act he's playing, but it's exactly the act that somebody in that social milieu is supposed to play.

It's exactly what you'd expect. Meanwhile, Louis, who I suspect probably used to play at it being a character like Joe Gorgia when he was younger. And at some point decided that while still, you know, wearing tap out shirts and like having that fucking 2000 haircut and like still like having that fucking like raw meat face with his little crab eyes. He decided that he's going to like do his best to talk to everybody like he's like he's some therapist. with a septum piercing in like a greenpoint apartment with a bunch of cats and monstrosa plants and ambient music playing and a copy of bell hooks at his desk and he wants to do it so bad and and it's so funny his like little soft voice conciliatory knees pressed together like gestures and is crying when they when jo and melissa drive off all of this is just like a

really funny act for somebody like that in that social view to to perform form. So Joe's performing just as much as Louie is. Louis is just performing a very strange part for who he is. I'll start drinking the Louis Kool-Aid on this. You've convinced me. One thing that you mentioned was the tour that we got of Joe and Melissa's new super ugly house. I love that they were walking around and Melissa picked out like just this one piece of molding as the ugly part. but if you like see the exterior of the house, it looks like it's like generated by AI, like one of those image generations.

There's like way like too much going on. Yeah, it looks like an abandoned country house. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the facade was both way too like boring, but also had like too many like spikes and triangles and stuff. It just didn't make sense. Just an awful like Mick M-Badget.

Another conflict that, we haven't talked about yet is the one that is between Danielle and Rachel. Things really seem to be heating up a little bit. Rachel obviously upset about being called a catty, snotty bitch. Yeah. My feeling that what happened is, you know, we had Danielle look like she was on a crash course to go confront Margaret as being the one who was trying to stir up shit around your background,

correctly, I think. and I think she kind of realized right away she's been off more than she can chew that's like, you know, Margaret comes out right away on the offensive, you know, wrong foot's Daniel right off the bat. And Danielle's like,

all right, I'm just going to fucking be mad at Rachel instead because Rachel's an easy target. That's kind of how I see it. She just deflected her attentions to Rachel because she was like, okay, I'm not actually ready to go full out against Margaret right now.

I'll take out Rachel because that's child's play. Yeah, I mean, yeah that's true i think that that would be a smart read there was some like gen um it did seem like genuine feelings when she was like talking about her her history with being bullied in in high school and um you know kind of rachel's mean girl energy like i once you mentioned that like i immediately kind of pick up on that that dynamic from from rachel um you know just the the the catiness and sort of, you know, looking for someone to, to pick on. So I do think that it, you know, it probably is like two-folded. On one hand, it is strategic because way easier target

than Margaret. And, uh, but I, I do think that there's some, you know, genuine feelings there. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think you're right about that. Um, uh, oh, go ahead. Uh, you know, I was just going to say, um, I don't want to take up all the, all the air here. But I did just want to say that I don't, I mean, this was the episode before, I think, where this came up, but I don't quite understand the Pizza Gate thing. I don't quite understand what happened with the pizza restaurant. And I was just wondering if Craig, you can maybe help me out with this because I know that Teresa says that Louis lost a quarter million dollars. And Joe says that they kind of stole it from him or something or ruined it for him. What exactly

happened there, Craig? Can you help me out with this? Yeah. So it is. like it is still a bit unclear as to what happened. So it's actually, it's not a pizza restaurant. Joe and Melissa used to own a pizza restaurant. And this is some sort of like, they wanted to like white label a box of like these pizza oven.

So, you know, basically like these pizza ovens home like kitchen gadgets that you could get off like Ali Express that they would, you know, rebrand and sell. And I guess. All right.

I didn't, I didn't understand that part of it anyways. Yeah. And so apparently this was Joe Gorga's idea was that he wanted to put this out as like no-nosed pizza ovens. And he came to Louis and then Louis, he says that Louis screwed him out of it. And, but it's unclear that Joe actually put anything up because the story is that, you know, Louis put up the money and got these like sent it. sent to him and then, you know, Joe didn't pay any money.

And then they were trying to just sell them as Louis and Teresa and like skinny Italian or something, which I don't know is a weird like playoff of Bethany Frankl's brand skinny girl or something. I don't think there's an actual connection there, but it's hard not to make that that connection. Anyways, yeah. So it's kind of unclear. I could easily not make that connection. No, fair enough, that's a good explanation. I mean, I guess we're still missing some information,

but that makes a little more sense to me. Because I watched that section twice because I didn't quite figure out what was going on. So Teresa wasn't really in this episode, but we did get a little bit of a face time. And obviously we heard the announcement that Dolores and Jennifer are going to be bridesmaid. This apparently came to Teresa.

in a vision she had while doing yoga. I loved that. That was so good. And I think that this is probably like a more believable like prophecy than anything that came out of this coffee fortune teller. Yeah. It's such a great way to avoid responsibility for a decision too, right? If somebody asks you to justify why you made that choice, I don't fucking know.

That's what the spirits told me while I was doing yoga. And why is my. Melissa's so chewed up over this whole wedding thing? Okay, so Melissa is married to Joe Gorga, and Joe Gorga is Teresa's brother. So it's a family thing. And if you watch New Jersey long enough, you'll know that Italian families have different rules. And, you know, that is just not something you do. You always have to invite your in-laws.

And, you know, you always make sure that Melissa Gorga is in your wedding. And you always make sure that Melissa Gorga's parents are in. invited to your wedding. That's just in the Italian constitution. Exactly those lines. Yeah, I've got the Wikipedia on it here. So that's, that's verbatim. But I thought the the way that this was revealed was like really good. The, you know, the reveal to the group. And then they both kind of pivot and look directly at Melissa for her reaction. The music was perfect. Yeah, really good. Is there, is there a reason she's being kept out of the, of the wedding. There's just like a long-standing like issues between uh,

Teresa and um, Joe and Melissa basically. Um, yeah, it goes back to like the early seasons of, of Jersey and there's just, uh, Joe and Melissa are, you know, they love like playing the victim and, um, yeah, that's the other thing. That's part of it. Yeah. And that's the other thing. Like, sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off there. I was going to say that's the other thing about, like,

uh, Louis's like very like supplicating manner towards Joe and Melissa that is like funny and kind of pathetic is that he's not going to ever change their minds. Like Joe and Melissa and Joe especially, they want to be mad about this. They want this feud with a, this feud to continue. Uh, you know, Joe doesn't want to reconcile with Teresa. He wants to drag this feud out. That's what he wants to do. He wants to be upset.

He wants to be offended. He loves. you know, when he gets told, you know, I think you were offended too. And he goes, 100%. You know, he lives for that moment. He wants to keep this doing this. So there's nothing Louis could possibly do. He's so dead set up playing this role.

But even if he like cut off his pinky finger and presented it on a little pillow, like some like yakuza lieutenant who's, you know, supplicating to a boss or something, it's not going to change his mind. Nothing you can do. It changes mind. So that's why it's so like kind of silly and groveling for him to keep like, hammering this one note at the expense of Teresa who he like kind of brushes off even though he's marrying her in 31 days uh 28 days he says later they've been fighting for three days during that

episode which it feels like it um but you know there's no way anything's going to ever come of this attitude like you're never going to change Joe and Melissa's mind which makes it that much much funnier that he like keeps dragging the act out so long yeah Actually, like, putting on these new, like, team Louis shorts that you got me, Dylan, I think that this is, like, an interesting development in, you know, this dynamic that we've seen on New Jersey for so long with Teresa and Joe. Like, it's always been, you know, it's always been fireworks. And like you said, Joe and Melissa, they thrive on being the victims in this situation. So having this new presence come and he wants to, like, smooth it over.

and really like kind of take that away, they don't really know what to do. So that does add an interesting element that I'm now excited to see play out. Yeah, yeah, that's very true. That's very true. You know, Joe knows very well how to like go into full contact mode and like, you know, become physically intimidating if he needs to. He's ready to do that at any time.

He does not know how to react to this like guy like whimpering therapy speak to him. Yeah. And be like, okay. well, can you, I want to make this right. Let's invite your parents. They're like, no, don't do that. Yeah, exactly. They turn it down.

They're like, no. Don't do the thing we're angry about you not doing. Because then you'll take that away from us. We want to be angry. Yeah, it's good. It's a funny dynamic. Another thing that we got to see this episode was Polly is out of surgery in recovery. And he's horny again, apparently.

He's very horny. that guy. Yeah. That horny Irishman, yeah. We're starting to see the buildup of the conflict between him and Frank brewing. Frankie. My boy Frankie's been missing a couple episodes. We need to get him back in there. Well, he was out at the Jersey Shore and Dolores was sort of debriefing Polly on, you know, what happened. Right, but that was like three episodes go by now, no? they just got back this episode

this was the the first time that we we got back from the Jersey Shore I think okay okay right yeah still need more uh need more Frankie in there yeah so it's like divorce going on vacations with Frankie

and Stutley is this the type of relationship they have so they had like a super close um you know friendship post their divorce like they were very close and like frank lives with uh dolores's ex david um and so he was always used to that relationship being like really close as well uh and it was like kind of a very like unconventional but

they're you know everyone's happy with how it works out and now polly is obviously looking for um you know a way more conventional relationship where he doesn't have to interact with Dolores's ex but we did see like you know Dolores say that Polly's ex calls him a bunch too yeah okay yeah one thing that I like I thought was

you know kind of interesting is like Dolores is really defensive about this relationship she's like really protective of you know her relationship with Polly and it does seem like a genuine like happiness she feels like she seems lighter and like a like a high school girl even the way she talked about her like trip that she took to Ireland with him about how it was like life changing it really you know it reminds me of you know when um

when someone after they graduate high school just goes off to Europe and how it's like a life changing trip you know the first first big trip you take and um really getting that that vibe She's going through her spray 10. Yeah. Is she, is this something she's going to use, like this Ireland trip? Like, she just got added to the bridal party, right?

Yeah, she just got added, yeah. And now she's taking the horns on the Bachelorette party? Yeah, I guess so. So they do, like, Dolores and Teresa have a long history of friendship, I think prior to, the show. They knew each other in high school, I think.

So yeah, it does kind of make sense that she would do that. She seems like the genuinely closest person to Teresa. It was surprising that she wasn't in the bridal party to begin with. But yeah, it looks like she'll be taking the horns on the bachelorette. Yeah. I'm on team, Dolores and Frank, staying close. I don't see why there's like a good reason why Frank should be frozen out of their life beyond like just like stating that it's like a vague norm or something. Like I think it's cool when when X's remain very close. It's nice. You know, you're close to somebody for a long time. Why does it have to stop? Because you're just not in a relationship anymore. And, you know, I don't think Frankie's, as far as I can see, is that anything's so bad that, like, he deserves to be frozen out. Like, you know, him and Dolores still seem to get along mostly. I mean, if she doesn't want to hang out with him, she doesn't have to.

But, like, I don't see why Paul would, like, want that, want him to be shut out for some reason or another. Like, what's he done? What's he done? You just want to hang out with his buddy. I mean, it's interesting that, you know, Paul would. come in here and really disrupt this, not so much like, not so much the relationship between Dolores and Frank, but like this would definitely have a disruption on how they like parent and interact with their kids because, you know, having the type of closeness where you're all going up to the same like house on the shore together for like holidays and, you know, presumably like

always having family dinners together on weekends and stuff like that and then to have someone come and be like no you got to like cut that out it's like that's like a family dynamic that you're disrupting and i think that you know i think frank has reason to be um upset and mourn that loss for sure yeah he's maybe being a little more whiny about it than he should be i'll say that he's he is being a little whining and see where that gets on dolores's nerves but uh but i still don't see like a reason why he uh why they should move towards freezing him out of the relationship yeah but i mean what can he do he like he can't reach out to to polly like that that door's closed so he's like you know dolores try to try to fix it and she's pissed off about him saying that like he yeah i mean

i don't know yeah well i hope we get some more of him next episode so we can see more of his uh his side of the equation. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, so we had mentioned that this was a great episode for Jen. She seems to be building up some alliances here. We seem to get a bit more hinting at the cracks between her and Bill. There was a very, what I consider to be a very open and honest conversation between Dolores and Jen over lunch when they decided to.

make up again. What did you think about that, Dylan? Yeah, like you said, there was a surprising amount of honesty, it seemed, in some ways. I kind of expect that from, I mean, for Dolores to it, I think that she's kind of not playing the game as much. She's kind of, you know, not as interested in this, like, cold war between a team Margaret or Jen as that Jen's trying to bring about. but from Jen's perspective, yeah, she seemed to like be more openly emotional and less just purely strategizing where so far this season has just been a lot of like kind of steely, cold-eyed strategizing from Jen because she's decided that she has a target in sight and that she's going to,

I try to bring as many people against Margaret as she can. So to see her kind of like let her guard down a little bit and become a little bit just more honest about her emotions, which as I mentioned before, I think she has a really hard time doing with Bill because Bill's not open to that. It's good to see that. It helps see her human side a little bit more. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Did either of you guys have any other notes on real house of shows? I think we've out covered my favorite bits. No, I just loved when Margaret said she was sweating from her twat. Yeah. Awesome. That has been... Oh, that's the button? Well, this has been the Bravo outsider for this week.

Matt, do you want to let everyone know where they can find you? Yeah, I'm at Matt and Comedy on Twitter and TikTok. I'm on the T's. I'm only on the T's. Or sorry, no, Instagram. I'm not on Twitter. I'm not only on the T's. Instagram.

And Dylan, how about where can people find you? Find back episodes of my horror movie podcast, mind over splatter, wherever pods are cast. And on substack, I'm Dylan Ferguson. Right about movies.

Awesome. And we are on Instagram at Bravo Outsider and online at bravo outsider.com. Also this week will be appearing on the real bitch of Bravo podcast looking forward to that which should drop the same day as this so after you're done listening to this bitches yeah go and check that out until next time keep it real keep it way