Oscars Outsider - VPR S11E10 & The Valley S01E03 Recap/Analysis (w/ Vanderpump Robs) | Bravo Outsider Podcast

Episode Date: April 6, 2024

This week hosts Craig Midwinter and Dylan Ferguson are joined by Vanderpump Robs Rob Schulte to dig into S11E10 of Vanderpump Rules and S01E03 of The Valley. Chapters: 00:00 - Intro 01:17 - Vanderpump Rules S11E10 Recap 50:35 - The Valley S01E03 Recap 1:19:55 - Outro 🍸Featured Bravolebs: Vanderpump Rules: Lisa Vanderpump, Tom Schwartz, Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix, Katie Maloney, Scheana Shay, Lala Kent, James Kennedy, Ally Lewber, Brock Davies The Valley: Brittany Cartwright, Jax Taylor, Kristen Doute, Luke Broderick, Danny Booko, Nia Booko, Janet Caperna, Jason Caperna, Jesse Lally, Michelle Saniei Lally 📣 Stay Connected: Find Vanderpump Robs on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanderpumprobs Find Dylan Ferguson on Substack at https://dylanferguson.substack.com/ Find Bravo Outsider on Instagram at ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/bravooutsider https://www.bravooutsider.com 📖 Credits Music by FASSounds from Pixabay #vanderpumprules #bravo #realitytv #pumprules #scandoval #thevalley

Hello and welcome to the Bravo Outsider Podcast. I'm your host Craig Midwinter, joined as always by Dylan Ferguson. Dylan, how's it going? Good. As people with visual can see, I'm back in my usual home and I'm happy about that. Just starting to redecorate a little bit. So hopefully it'll look better in the coming days. I'll try to get some plants in here.

I need to figure out how I can invite Tom Schwartz over. Yeah. A couple visits and I'll be fully stuck. Yeah, maybe you'll get a sweet Do Not Disturb hack too. Yeah. Well, we're super excited to have our guest on today. You might know him from Vanderpump Rob. It's Rob Schulte.

Hello. So here's the thing. I think I have that mug, Dylan. This mug? Yes. I know I'm sorry, visual stuff. Except mine is all different types of dogs. No way.

This is, my friend bought this for me in Japan. It's Snoopy characters. I got mine at a Japanese shop at Epcot. No way. This is cool as hell. Bad tagline, by the way. I'm so sorry. But I'm so happy that I know somebody else who has a similar bug.

Here, I'll say my tagline now. You may present it as drama, but all I see is scams. Oh, there we go. Seems kind of sinister that tagline. It's been a running theme on my podcast recently. It's just how many can they jam pack? And by many, I mean many scams just into these seasons. Well, we got the water on Vanderpump Rules this week,

which seems like a little bit of a scam if we're to trust the divining rod of Katie. Okay, so one of the, sorry, go ahead. No, because I'm dying to talk about the water tasting because here's the thing. I don't, sorry Craig for jumping the gun. I don't think that water tasting is bullshit. Like I actually think water tasting is a cool thing and water sommeliers are cool. I think that's real. I'm very critical about a lot of these things that these, these woo-woo bullshit activities that these people do on these shows as being completely fake.

But I think it's more weird that people act like water. doesn't have a flavor, then water tasting is weird. I think, you know, it's cool to be into water. Everybody drinks water. So, like, why isn't, should it people be more into water tasting? How, that having been said, this fucking most German man in the world, uh, from the news, according to James Kennedy, who apparently TikTok is the news for James Kennedy. That's what I was going to say.

It's like, where does James Kennedy get his news? Like saying like, this is, this is the world. world's only cuvei water. That means nothing. That is just absolute marketing copy. It means nothing. I know sommelier, but I know enough about wine.

The word cuvei is, other than literally meaning that it's been inside a cask, which every wine is, is it like has no like, reglemented definition. And in fact has no definition at all. Like putting the word cuvei on a wine label

is no different from like, a box of frozen fish sticks putting the word premium on the packaging. It's like when Van Lewin says their French ice cream, it's like, okay, so your ice cream has eggs in it. Like that's custard. Like that's all, it's the same thing. And this dude knows how to talk to this cast, right? Like he knows what he's doing.

And yeah, I'm with you. Like water does have a taste. You know, Sheena says, that's not tap. And it's like, but also. of course it's not right like i mean dissoni tastes different than you know uh lecroy but it's not that it's anything special the one thing i did point out about that scene on my latest episode was that when they're like so what is this what makes it like a thousand dollars and i believe he says the idea of two springs coming together to make water that is what he said yeah and that yes that could be a

language barrier thing, but I think that that is total marketing talk. Like, yes, this is the idea of that. Yeah. I think he says, like a Bordeaux blend. Okay, so it's like two things in the same bottle is what it's two sources. It's like, and it's just there isn't like real, if it's spring water, like it can be really good. There's really good spring waters out there. There are great ones.

And I'm totally down with the idea of comparing them and developing a palette. I think it's cool that Lala's really into water. I think that's a cool way to be sober, you know, instead of just being like, well, I'm going to try to find the best fake beers and, you know, fake whiskeys, which are, you know, it's like when people go vegetarian and all they do is eat like tofu bacon. It's like, well, why don't you getting into really cool actual vegetarian dishes rather than just imitating poorly versions of meat dishes? But being like, I'm going to be a water nerd now and get like into all the types of sparkly water. I think that's a cool way to be sober.

having said that spring water is not like a limited resource. You're not going to run the spring dry. So obviously that $1,000 price point is as marketing. Like it's not like the wine world is full of bullshit too. But like the laws of supply and demand usually explain the high prices because you're looking for like a certain vintage. You know, from a certain grape, from a certain place, from a certain year. there's only so many of those that exist. You can fill bottles up from that stream endlessly.

And this dude is totally a 1980s antique salesman where like, all I know is it's the only bottle in America. Yeah. And it's like, well, I found a trinket at a garage sale. And now I've just made up a story about it. And it sells to the person who wants to buy that story. Yeah. And that's what this is. It's like a hotel saying that it's haunted.

Like it's one of the oldest tricks in the book. Yeah. Yes. Well, every hotel is haunted. Which I can say that as a hotel professional. The Vanderbump hotels are all haunted by Ken Todd. Or jiggy. Yeah.

Could be jiggy. Or Rosey, the little horse. Yeah. And don't forget about the swan. So many dead animals. Yeah, I would be so disappointed if we don't see Lisa's animal graveyard again this season. We got that shot of it, you know, last season where Ariana is like crying over her dead dog.

And Lisa calls her like from her animal graveyard. Just like such like amazing scene. I really hope that we get get to see the graveyard again. I want some Vanderpump rules fan fiction that merges it with Pet Cemetery. I think that would be incredible. Sometimes dead is better. So we're going to be starting with Vanderpump rules, I think, just based on the way this is going.

Let's get a three-sentence summary from you, Rob. Okay, so I'm taking this in the style of how I write my own episode descriptions. So bear with me, folks. I hope you get it. When Anne wants a new boss and Tom wants to eavesdrop, it's not long before the pizza is delivered. Are James and Allie? The new Tom and Ariana, does Schwartz's love for plants outweigh his need to be a father?

Who will succumb to the power of the milky water? It's the episode that threatens to dial 911 while eating some stuffed crust. That's really, really good. Let's talk about the artistic presentation of this. I'm curious if either of you guys have any sort of themes or, like, cinematic devices. or anything in the storytelling that stood up to you. Dylan, let's start with you. Yeah, so my favorite seed in the whole episode was Katie and Tom Schwartz having a discussion in the backyard by the pool by themselves. What I really liked was the use of space in that,

like just because they're there by themselves, they have this big space. So they're really able to kind of pace and move around each other and kind of get closer, get further, you know, turn to the side, turn towards each other. That brings us. that physicality that they're allowed to use in the space where it's filmed, instead of just being like sitting down at a, you know, a coffee shop or a place where they're squirting syringes of goop into their mouths, really brings that much more to the scene in terms of, like, there are psychology in that moment.

And that, like, that certain tension between the impulse to settle back into old grooves of friendship and familiarity and the fear, of being hurt and the anger that's always close to the surface and threatens to overtake whatever cordial playful element is also talking in the other direction. So I really like St. Schwartz and Katie's post-breakup discussions together. We got like a really great dinner last season. And I was really happy to see us return to that here, but having them be standing up in a big space and able to actually communicate so much

of what's going on in their minds, not just through their words, but through their bodies, just really made it come alive to me. It was very dynamic as a scene. I thought it was full of tension and really, really great. Well, and I thought that scene was incredible as well, and it's great juxtapositioned next to, is that a word? Anyway, being placed right next to the incredible argument happening in a very closed space with many more people. So seeing both of these next to each other, like raises the tension. in a way that, that, tension, anxiety for a viewer

as well as like the people involved in both of these situations. And the fact that you get a handful of moments where you can hear the screaming happening during Katie and Schwartz's discussion is the sort of thing where it's like, oh,

time heals, right? Like, this was not Katie and Schwartz last year. I mean, the Rachel and Scandival of it all aside, like this was, this, they weren't quite Tom Sandoval and Ariana in this scene, but they were not at this level. And it really kind of goes to show you because like a lot of things I was noticing, and it's throughout the whole series or season rather, but there's this idea of acceptance versus forgiveness

versus resentment. Like all of these things like are in a Venn diagram together, but they can evolve quickly one overtaking another. And this scene that you've pointed out next to the other scene is definitely something that like we are getting over and over again. And the brain rot of being on reality TV leads you into one of those circles

over another more times than not. You're never falling right in the middle of like true understanding. Totally. Yeah. This scene was, I think, obviously the most important scene in terms of the narrative, but I think just how it was presented visually as well was the strongest point of the episode for me. I really loved, like you said, Dylan, the use of space here, the contrast of outside, you know, you've got this relationship with Tom and Katie where, you know, they've had previous tension, but and there's like obviously a core issue of like, the Katie and Max of it all. But it still seems like so relaxed. You can feel like the breeze in the air because it's like Tom is mostly just relieved that

he's not like the one at fault. And like you can see it in his body language. And then inside the way that the inside of James's house is shot is so claustrophobic. Everyone is like on top of each other. Like the walls are so like closed in. There's boxes in the back. background, everything is like so tight. And I just like seeing the, um, kind of how it's presented so tense visually inside versus like the relief outside, um, paired with like there's that one moment

in the water tasting where they've got the carbonated water that they pop like champagne. We have seen the narrative within this season so far. It's been building and building and building for some sort of explosive confrontation between Ariana and Tom and we finally get the cork popping off of that in this scene where Tom and

Ariana are finally like getting into it and confronting each other and that tension is starting to release a little bit or we're at least seeing the champagne go everywhere or the water go everywhere in this case. So yeah I thought that this was just a really

lovely visual representation of where we're at in the course of the season. 100%. And, you know, I believe you've spoken about this on previous episodes, but, you know, Ariana is still in all black. And so, but everyone has now moved on to bright colors and, especially Tom, but both Tom's, quite frankly. But, but I do think that this is that, that, that sort of idea that she's not over it yet. She's still in mourning. She's working through something. But another point that just came to me is they're eating Pizza Hut, right?

Like standard pizza, very regular, normal, no qualms, basic. We'll just order from Pizza Hut. It's quick and easy. And it makes me think of like, like, what are they trying to tell us about these people that live these faux status symbol lives, but they just. to order Pizza Hut. It's like when you go to a Walmart or a store similar to Walmart and everyone who's a model for whether it's garden equipment or socks and underwear are quote average looking, right? You're never going to see a supermodel modeling something for Walmart. You're never,

I guess you're never going to see a Vanderpump Rules person getting delivery from something way expensive and like like compared to the water that we just saw right yeah totally yeah it's it's just interesting because there's this idea of like humanizing these people to a fault when it's also being shoved in their in our faces that they aren't like you as much as we like are telling a story that you can connect with these are people you should aspire to be and they eat pizza just like you yeah yeah totally And, yeah, it was such a basic, like, pizza. There's, like, they even forgot, forgot the ranch. Was Tom doing too much by going to get it?

Yeah. I don't know. Of course he's doing too much. He needs to do too much. I'm not a sand of all apologists by any means, but like, what the hell do you do here? You are stuck. Yeah, he's stuck in that house. Any opportunity to sprint out the front door, like a frightened dog, he's going to take it.

Let's get your favorite poll quote, Rob. What was your favorite quote there? Okay. And I feel like I need to couch this with a like, I appreciate Ariana and I think she was a heaping pile of garbage in terms of everything that's happened in the last couple of years. But my poll quote is, I'm being harassed. I'm going to call 911 in the middle of just. just an ex argument with all of your friends there.

Now, this show in particular has a problem with calling the cops. Yeah. We're going to get to Kristen in a minute. Yeah. And we will be talking about that soon. But not only all of the stuff between Kristen, Stasi, Czechs, Brittany, but even this season, Ariana in like episode one is like, well, if he throws a party,

at my house. I'm going to call the cops. It's like, call the cops should not be the fallback for these people. Like, you, I mean, I'm of the opinion. You don't call the cops unless it's something life-threatening, right?

Like, and I understand like abuse situations and like she is feeling attacked and that is all fair and valid. But we are so quick to say, I'm calling the cops. I'm calling 911.

It's like, just leave, right? Like, and I understand. I get it. But like, that is the pull quote for me because it's more than this moment. It speaks volumes to how miserable Ariana is feeling right now because of Tom

Sandoval. It speaks volumes on the history of inequality and, and like taking the easy way out that the people in this show often do. And they don't see it. There's no way you would threaten to call the cops twice in this season if you ever even thought back to like prank wars episode or the Stasi Kristen scenario. Yeah, for sure. It's interesting because this kind of like shows that, I mean, obviously,

Ariana is completely entitled to the moral high ground. 100%. But she is. Also, like she has the social high ground, at least at the start of this season. And it seems like she feels like she is also entitled to the legal high ground. So the fact that she is seeing, you know, her like kind of losing the social high ground, this, this like want to flex the legal high ground that we see manifesting not only in the like, I'm going to call the cops like you, like you've said, but how often she's talking.

about her, her lawyer and getting like the itemized, like all the items in, in the house and trying to make sure that she comes out on top there as well is really interesting. And like, I can't fault her for that because she was like obviously super wronged. It's interesting just to see how, you know, these feelings that she has are kind of manifesting in these different areas and, you know, in some cases, that's like completely valid. In other cases, like, maybe not so valid. Like, she's not entitled to call the cops just because, you know, Sandoval is at the same party as her. Yeah. And, you know, just to stay on that for one more moment, like, there is so much going on. Like, like, I've conversed with other Bravo fans many times.

and the parisocial relationship that comes with this sort of stuff is a lot of transference, is a lot of like, I've been in a scenario exactly like this. And we're all watching the same show here. And we're all aware of how highly edited these things are. Or we should be. We should always keep that in our mind, right? That like this is a story they're telling. Bravo has a quote, secret sauce, which I'm sure is water and booze or something.

But it is one of those things where what this really shows me is that Ariana is still hurting. It's only been a few months since the previous season ended. And she is in a spot. She talks about money situations in previous episodes. She is in a spot where she had to do this season. Right? She had to be here. But she obviously doesn't want to be here.

So, yeah, Tom. everything's going to trigger Ariana and it is because of you and you chose to be on this show as well. So Ariana is more in a space of having to be on this show you, maybe not

so much. Why would Sandoval not have to be on the show more than Ariana does since his financial struggle seem to be more intense than hers? Well, that's a good point. Maybe he is in the same scenario but he seems to at least

have, you know, if you want to buy it, you know, this career as a musician, no, that's not going to be paying the bills. But he seems to have an avenue where like he wants to be on the show. So it's okay for him to be on the show in this like big broad sense. Ariana doesn't want to be on the show. She needs the paycheck to be on the show or like to continue her life and move on. That's where I'm trying to go with that. I'm just wondering if even beyond the financial considerations, which I mean, we obviously don't know the full details of them. If either of them, Tom or Ariana, could even picture their life without the show at this point, if that would even be something they would consider because they've just been so used to it being

such a part of their life and being able to litigate their position, their position of you know, morally whatever from the perspective of the show, knowing full well that if they leave the show, then they surrender their public image in a large sense to the other people who do stay on the show. Yeah. I think Ariana, by being in Chicago and now accepting a hosting gig for Love Island, understands that there's a life beyond Vanderpump Rules. And we're seeing in episodes like this that she could care less what anyone else thinks if they're not going to be on her side for good or ill, right?

For good or ill. And that there is a life beyond Vanderpump Rules. I don't think Tom can see a life beyond Vanderpump. No, I don't think so either. Bravo rewards bad behavior. So Tom Sandoval will get his own Bravo show within five years. And I'm sure that is how he'll live out the rest of his days. Yeah, totally.

Let's get into our highlights now. Rob, what were your highlights from this episode? Highlights of this episode, I think that scene was a highlight just because of what we talked about between pairing it against the Katie and Tom discussion. And I liked seeing the resolution of Katie's, like, lie by omission, like, monologue that then she kind of got her own comeuppance, and she didn't try and deflect away from it the way everyone tries to deflect away from things in the show.

She actually owned it. So that was one extra part to that that I love. I thought the beach sequence was interesting. It gets tricky because we have. another, you know, fairly uncomfortable edit of Ariana. Like, like, I think they're still trying to paint her in a certain way. I think what we didn't see in that scene is that she was drinking a lot of white claws, which probably, you know, like every scene you got is either white claw or lover boy or something.

Right. Yeah. And Tom is sober on camera for these scenes. So he knows how to, how he thinks it will make him look good. on camera. So yeah, oh, you want me to leave? Okay, I'll go away and stare off onto the waves and contemplate life. You know, I love that because it's so blatantly bullshit. But I liked seeing that play out. Another thing that I felt was just interesting about this episode. Now, there was something at the beginning, and I'm struggling at the moment, but I think I will just say

that, and I know we've talked to death, but like this water guy is back. And y'all are in Canada, correct? Yeah. Yeah. And did you ever have the 90s infomercials with Matthew Lesko, the guy who wore like

a question mark suit? And was like, I'm going to teach you how to get my, I guess he wouldn't because it was like government subsidies. So it would have been the United States only, but he would try and sell you these books that would be like, you can apply for this grant and you can do this for your small business and it was like he looked like the riddler but talked and he didn't have like a german accent but like he talked in the sort of way that this water

guy talked and i swear if you put a matthew lescoe and german water guy next to each other they would have their own reality show and it would be phenomenal so those were you know yes we're calling on you listeners we need it and we need it now but those were kind of the big moments. And of course, they were the big talking moments of the episode, of course. But those were the highlights for me, quite frankly, in this one. Because I just want to say that, like, I think the editing and storytelling has been bad this season. I'm still watching. I'm still enjoying. I'm still covering it. But I feel like there's been cuts made behind the scenes of editing staff or production staff. They're just telling us very, very, very basic stories with very little nuance.

And I have to hope that it's because there's like some big prestige coming at the end of this or something like, oh, you thought that we were doing it. But it's really just a slow burn all the way there. But I don't know if I can give production that much credit this season. It feels rushed and it feels a bit much. So to me, the talking points are the things that they definitely put in this tent polls to be talking points of this episode. Yeah, that's an interesting point. I have actually enjoyed this, I think, more than what I have sensed online in terms of this season. Like, I do find that this, like, this journey to find a new baseline is interesting to me. just like what this means for this like social dynamic that we had gotten so used to up until

last season. Like up in at the beginning of last season, I was like, this show was done. I don't even know if I'm going to watch this season. And obviously all hell broke loose. And we got one of the greatest seasons of reality TV ever put on air. But yeah. So it's interesting to see kind of where all, everything that we have known. about Vanderpump Rules kind of got like thrown in the wind and all the pieces are kind of

scattering back and to see how everything comes back together. I would agree that I think it feels like Vanderpump Rules is still maybe on its last legs like we're seeing the dying breath because it does feel like everyone is rushing to get back to this dynamic that they had prior to season 10. And if they get back there really quickly and there's no like long standing like issues as a result, like this show is like reality TV needs like tension and problems in order for it to be successful. So the fact that they're trying to rush back into what's comfortable is not very like doesn't

give me a lot of hope for the future. But seeing that journey is like compelling to me at least. Yeah, I can get with that, especially the fact that Alex Baskin had them do like this, like, come to Jesus meeting after they got back from Lake Tahoe. And then surprise, surprise, that's also when we're seeing, like, everything amp up, right? Yeah. One question I didn't want to ask real quick before, and I know we've got some other scenes to cover, but like, can we take a temperature in the room about the and situation with the interview while at work? for Tom. Yeah.

I, yeah, I think that Anne is a really like fun presence on the camera. That's, that's another thing

this season has going for. It's got like some side characters that I really love seeing whenever they're on screen and Anne is one. Joe is another that like,

I just love. I love Joe. I was really disappointed to be in ever at all this season. I know. We need more Joe. You can hate Joe. or whatever as a viewer,

but you cannot deny that she is unlike anyone else that has ever been on this show. And I love it. Yeah. The one thing, I want to point out, though, about Ann is like, these like amateur content creators and, you know, no shade. I'm an amateur content creator. But they'll be like, well, I did my research,

and Anne was in an episode of The Office. and Anne does sketch comedy. And Anne is an actor. So that means Anne is acting on this show. And it's like, well, a little bit. She also lives at L.A. Yeah. Yeah.

She's acting the same way everyone else on this show is acting. And also, totally. Anne was, if your argument is Anne had one line on an episode of the office 10 years ago, then like maybe Anne needs another job, right? Like maybe Anne needs to be an assistant. to pay the bills.

It's not, she's not some like Manchurian Vanderpump candidate who's come in to change things. Totally. Yeah, I thought that this like this and like B plot that we're getting is, it's kind of boring, but some of the like brief moments that we get as a result of it are pretty fun. like this idea of like Tom like lurking in the shadows and like you know eavesdropping on and

and job stabbling from upstairs really really funny and then when like it comes up that he's like eavesdropping he can't like he can't even beat those allegations because he's sitting there like doing that at the same at that exact moment like when when ariana's like talking about the the dog murderer thing and uh they're discussing and And yeah, he's not doing himself any favors by like sitting there and like eavesdropping in the shadows again. So behind the cactus just peeking through. Yeah, exactly. Dylan, what were your highlights?

We've covered them. It's been the it's the Schwartz and Katie moment. It's the water guy. I will say just to quickly address the idea that this season has maybe not been great. I've been liking it a lot in terms of like the character psychology a bit. I do think production's done a good job. I do think that they've had not much to work with. Like when you've got,

when you're trying to make a plot point out of Schwartz and Sheena kissing once in Vegas 12 years ago, that's trying to gnaw every last bit of grizzle off a bone that's already been thoroughly picked clean. So I did kind of have a moment when I sat down to watch the new episode where I'm like, episode 10 already? like, wow, we're in the back end of this already. Like, nothing's happened. So, but I've, I've been really struggling. I've been enjoying it a lot, as I've been saying all through it.

But it's true that it has been very low of it. Yeah, totally. And kudos to Katie for like making something happen. Like taking the moment and, you know, going and fucking Max. Yeah. And we finally, finally are going to get like one episode of Schwartz and Katie trying to date the same woman. Oh, my Lord. You know that's going to be about five minutes of screen time, given how big they made it in the preview.

Oh, totally. Yeah. I think we covered most of my highlights as well. Let's get into our stars. Rob, we'll start with you. Who are your stars here? Star number one, water guy. Martin.

Martin, that's right. Martin gets a star for just knowing how to talk. talk to upper middle class reality stars. Like he knows how to sell that water. And hey, it's good to have a hobby, right? Like, I think he's a good water guy. That's wonderful. I think another star is definitely Pizza Hut because it's the,

it's the everyone pizza. It's the pizza you can go to in a pinch. You know what you're getting. No surprises with Pizza Hut. Craig, do we have that promo code for a Pizza Hut that we can drop there? Paul, I wish. This is like a point of contention between my wife and I, because I love Pizza Hut and she is not into it.

So, yeah, I would love a Pizza Hut. So you order at like twice a week and every time you're like, watch, you don't like it? Well, it's shoving pizza in your face. You should have told me. And I think my third star is going to go to Katie because I am, I'm usually not a fan of Katie. Not for like the reason a lot of jerks online aren't a fan of Katie.

But I just, there's a lot of things that we could get into on a deeper, deeper episode. But Katie really knocked it out of the park for me in this episode. I think her monologues hit in the way that I loved, her talking heads were great. And the way that she, I said it before, like so many times people want to deflect on these episodes. And she didn't deflect.

She just had the conversation with Tom, admitted she was like, you know, apologetic to the right amount that, because she doesn't need to explain anything to Tom, but she owned what she did and they had a great little moment there. Tom, of course, takes it too far. And it's like, let's be best friends and get dinner every weekend. But like, she also was able to then say, like, well, I don't want to do that. But I do want to be able to be amicable with you. And that's why she gets a star. Yeah, totally. And I would say that Schwartz is wrong about her, like, not serving. There was a moment in that conversation where he's like, yeah, not serving is your MO, which is so harsh. And, like, maybe true of, like, previous. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But maybe true of, like, previous seasons as well. Like, she has had some bad eras.

But I'm liking what she's thrown out there this season. I think she's just, like, really owning her looks. So. And definitely in that. scene. She looked way cooler than shorts. Personally, I could not disagree more. Honestly, I thought she brought it up, that shorts is bad fashion sense. And you know, that's my style. I'll own to it.

I could wear the kind of thing shorts was wearing. I dig it because I think that's cool as hell. And Katie's wearing like a white t-shirt with like a graphic of a bra on it. That is like one stutter step away from being like one of those aprons with like a sexy bikini body on it that they sell at like tourist shops. like a t-shirt too that's below a t-shirt that is

I thought Katie does have some good looks I'm not against looking somebody who sachets around the nightgowns in the middle of the day in Los Angeles for some reason but I think that she

that was that she had a bad look in that scene so it was hypocritical of her to like call out Schwartz as cool 50s bowling outfit can I since we're on the topic of clothing can I discuss something that I heard in one of your recent

episodes that it's like you know the thing when you're like listening you're like these people don't want to hear about it but i'm now here talking to you and i'm gonna i'm gonna talk about it um yeah alley wasn't dressing james james was dressing al yeah that's right which is right wrong last episode but then that's then it's no problem like i i that's that happens but like that is such a weird it is conier west power dynamic bullshit that like really we're not getting anything from James, even humor most of this season. But what we are getting, I think, is telling a lot. So I just had to squeeze that in there because I'm glad you did.

Nothing. Because I actually wanted to say that last episode, I kind of forgot to. You know how it goes. You know how it goes. Yeah, in the middle of it. But yes, it was James saying he dresses Ali. And I do think it's kind of creepy because Ali is obviously much younger than him. And it is like somebody who's clearly never had like a real job.

So it is starting to smell a little bit of like. controlling her life vibes. Still may not have a real job, depending on how you look at it. But clearly does not. But yeah, I just had to put that in. Not for correction purposes, but on this like weird,

we're kind of fading James into the background right now because maybe we don't want him to be the highlight of anything on Vanderpump rules at the moment. I think that there's definitely like a dark dynamic that James has that is kind of being like smoothed over in the like campaign for James to be the number one guy in the group like people are wanting to turn a blind eye to like well all of his past behavior that we've seen like especially like his relationship with with Kristen was like wild on on camera and yeah like you said that that is a very controlling dynamic um and yeah I I think this like one thing that has really kind of bothered me prior to the season airing like when when this was all going on and you know Graham got returned to James was everyone was wanting to really like whitewash James's behavior and make him out to be this like Caesar Milan that is like going to save Graham and it was all like the evil Raquel who like caused this dog to have aggression issues which. like yeah it's just something that is like really bothered me because we have seen james be so like immature and be so like abusive like i would say that he has been abusive especially if

you're watching those seasons with james and and christin there's a very dark dynamic there and so to be like oh no james is just this like playful guy who can do no wrong he's the number one guy like that is just blatantly not true. And that's not to say that he's not like a great reality TV character. I've been on these podcasts like for as long as we've been doing it, singing James's praises as a like character on reality TV. But yeah, it's let's not pretend that he's a, he's an angel. Yeah, or any of these people are for that man.

Yeah, exactly. They know what they're doing and they've been on their end. And it is, you know, time will tell. You know, we're going to look back at some of these in, you know, a decade or something and go, boy, that was, that was different times, you know. Totally. But yeah, that's, that's, I just wanted to at least shoehorn that in there for a moment. For sure.

Dylan, who are your, uh, your stars? Um, you know, I'm going to go for a start of Schwartz because I think he made that scene happen with Katie. Uh, and I think he had some good lines. I like how he was calculating his like fidelity average, like he was doing, like Sabre metrics. I thought that was cute. And like a lot of cute shorts jokes, he apologizes for it right after.

Shouldn't have to apologize for it. Stop apologizing for your funny jokes, Tom Schwartz. But that's his role right now. He's in the hang dog, hang dog role. And I do appreciate Katie's contribution to that scene too. And we talked about last time how Katie makes like a great villain and she does have a good moments. A good couple of moments I agree where she gets to be like the cynic in the group.

I just think your takes are just bad in this episode because like in terms of being like, people who exercise haven't experienced real true happiness. Like I don't exercise that much. But I mean, people who exercise are right. Like that's like you do feel better after that's undeniable. I'm also not going to take advice about. I agree with Katie on that. I'm sorry.

I don't get the endorphins rush when I'm working out. I just like I do it because it's something that you have to do. I respect to Katie for that because I don't feel it. either. I, I, okay, fair, fair point. I, I, I think it's, it's real. I also think water tasting is real, but, you know, that's an opinion. I'm also not going to take advice about real true happiness from Katie Maloney. You don't say. Second star, give it to Martin. Awesome, awesome presence. I'm almost certain he's a brand ambassador for Nevis Water. The German company who makes that. $1,000 bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But glad to have about the show. Third star, let's give it to Danny, because we have a rare daddy sighting. She doesn't have a line, but she's there. Oh, yeah. She made about as much of an impact on this episode as she did in her entire time on the season that she was on. Yeah.

Wait, are we talking Dana? Is that it? Oh, Dana, right. Right. Yeah, sorry. I'm not trying to, sorry. This is not my, but again, I thought the same thing. I was like, why is Dana here?

Like, I understand from behind the scenes that they're still friends with her, but this reminds me of when she went to make out with Peter in the bathroom. Like, that is as much time as she's had on the show. And then she dated Max for a little bit. Yeah. Like, this is wild to me. Yeah. The fact that there was one season where she was positioned as, like, the new star makes,

seeing her, like, appear at, like, just randomly at a dinner where she had, has no lines. It kind of gives you that kind of feeling when like somebody who is like a first overall draft pick shows up and a lineup like 10 years later on like the fourth line is a call up from the minor leagues. And you're like, oh yeah, Christ. What happened to you, Matt? I got, I actually got that like excited feeling when we got a little like two second clip that satchel was in the background during the beach day. I was like, oh, yeah, satchel sighting. Wait, satchel's that in this episode? Or are you talking about last year? It was a flashback. It was like a Flashback.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Satchel back too. Satchel with his socks and sandals at the beach.

Hey, but no, no, no shade. No shade. Yeah. Did we get all of your stars there, Don? Yeah. Yeah, that's three. Okay. Cool.

Yeah. So like you guys, I think Katie deserves a star. I think she did a lot to make things happen. I think that you gave too much credit to Tom Schwartz for making that scene happen because Katie was the one who left the house to come out and like Schwartz was just like, oh, is there something you want to talk to me about? And they have that like kind of funny and awkward exchange. So she's also responsible for Satchel being there in the first place so that we can get that flashback. So love that. I think like one thing that I have said about Katie several times and I'll say it again is that she is.

that she is underappreciated as a reality television pro. I think she has been this constant point of like tension amongst the cast because she's just like, she's like a cloud that can hover over any sort of environment. Storm cloud. Yeah, exactly. And, um, you know, that's, that's one of the things that has been able to carry Vanderpump rules through the hard times, like this toxic dynamic that she brings to any conflict that she has, whether it's with Tom Schwartz, who we've seen a lot, but she's also like beefed with

practically everyone. Yeah. Especially like, you know, Sheena. So, yeah, just love, love what Katie brings to, to the show. And I think people really don't give her much credit at all for what, what she brings to the table. So, yeah, definitely a star for Katie. Like you guys, got to give a star to to Martin the water guy as seen on the news, as seen on Playboy Radio, as seen on TikTok. Playboy Radio. Taste like, beep. Playboy Radio.

That's what everybody wants from Playboy is hearing words. It reminds me of like the Howard Stern E Channel show from the night. You know, Playboy Radio. And I'll give my final star actually to Ariana, who I don't think I've given her a star yet, but I really feel like she brought a lot to this episode. Like just really kind of releasing, it's what we've been dying to see. You know,

she gets a gold star for me for cleaning the litter box once a week. That's definitely not, not frequently enough, but, you know, kudos. I think that this, like,

the conflict that we're seeing between her and Tom, there's obviously, like so much subtext to what's going on and what they're choosing to like argue over is really really funny to me like they're so mad at each other for like not taking responsibility well also themselves not taking responsibility you know arian not taking responsibility for having the food and the old skewers in her room and like are her room being so messy that you wouldn't realize that there's a dog in there that you know It's wild to me, and I'm sorry to interrupt you, but it's just I feel like I need to say it because so many people are in this mind space of Ariana can do no wrong.

And that's fine. She was wronged. She is in a state. A dirty room is enigmatic of, you know, what she's possibly feeling inside. But like, you got to take the L on leaving garbage out. You just got to. It'll make your argument. You will look so much better.

on camera, you're saying like, yeah, I should have thrown that food away, but I also should have known someone was going to be coming into my room to fix something, you know, and that, that would change everything. It would change everything. Yeah, totally. Or like, she does have, like, the moral high ground to be like, why were you going into my room when the door is locked? Like, that should be the battle that, that she's picking, not like trying to deflect accountability and make the, like, make it seem more like a severe foul on Tom's part than it actually was. But we are seeing like dogs being used as chest pieces throughout this this whole season, right? We're seeing that with Graham as well and, you know, how she talks about her, how Ariana talks about her past dog.

And so I, yeah, it's, it's not totally surprising that, you know, that this incident is being used that way. but yeah, you're right. Ariana could have handled this a lot better in a way that would have played on the cameras way more. I think that Ariana is like a victim of the amount of time it takes to go from like filming to air because I do think that this argument would, if it was taking place on social media in the moment that it actually happened, it would have definitely, that would have landed.

but it's not landing now, you know, seven, eight months later now that it's airing and people aren't as fired up about the scand of all of it all and kind of seeing it from a, with more perspective. So I don't think that it's entirely Arianna's like fault that she is making this emotional case because like all the context clues that she has going into this situation, say like, like yeah this is this makes sense this is the the angle to go um but if you are maybe a bit more practice of a reality tv personality you have to know what to filter out and what is like you know the social media noise that is happening right now is not going to be the same as when this airs so

um i think she's victimized a little bit from that but it's still like a really compelling uh dynamic that they've got together and i am loving what what she brought to this episode more so than any other episode that we've seen her in. So I want to give her some kudos there. Absolutely. 100% couldn't agree more. All right. Well, let's jump into the valley. Let's start with a three-sentence summary, Rob. All right. Here we go. In the style of my episode descriptions. When Kristen stirs the gossip potion in the cauldron of half-truths, history soon rears its ugly head. Does Jacks have what it takes to stay silent an entire episode? Are Luke's views on relationships steeped in toxic masculinity? Is a life coach supposed to give hugs? It's the episode

that invites you to be, excuse me, it's the episode that invites you to a sophisticated dinner at an abandoned piece of real estate. Really good. Thank you. Yes, I have these written down. So listeners, that is not off the dome. Okay, so let's talk about the artistic presentation of this. Anything stand out in terms of how this story was told or the themes in it for you, Rob? Big things for me, I said things, but I mean themes. For me in this episode is happiness, and I said versus last time, but I'm staying on this versus train. Happiness versus loyalty, right? A lot of times that gets It's intermixed in these people's interpretations of their own lives, right?

And so how that's then displayed to us as a viewer is like, if you're loyal, you will be happy. But that is not the case at all. Sometimes you have to exit the scenario to keep yourself happy. And by bringing up something like Kristen does in this event of like, well, I'm just saying what was said to me so that it's all out on the table or whatever is actually causing a lot of people to not be happy. It doesn't need, like it isn't a, you know, to quote last episode's title, it's not always tit for tat. Totally. You know, what's interesting to me is how like going into this season, um, you brought up like, uh, what, what Kristen's been doing in this, this episode.

Going into the season, I was expecting Kristen and Jacks to really be like owning a bunch of noobs at the reality TV star. And to see, like, Kristen really struggle, especially this episode, like, really just, like, misplaying is, um, it, like, kind of surprised me as, like, my instincts as a reality TV viewer, because, you know, Kristen is one of the all-time greats. But then, like, you know, thinking about it a little bit more, Kristen has always been, like, messy. And that is what makes her great.

So the fact that she is, you know, that she has, like, created this, this huge mess is, well, I'm thankful for it. And I guess I shouldn't be surprised that, you know, she is not there, like, picking off these nobs. She's a, she's a team player, team chaos. 100%. That's what she's there for is to create messiness. That's what we want to see from her. And she does it in a way that she knows exactly. what she's doing, whereas you could say the same thing for Jacks, but you can clock Jacks

on his situation. You can clock that Jacks is like planning something for trauma, which is like in the last episode when he like has to pull Luke aside and be like, okay, I just need you to know that Alex is going to be here. Like, Jacks didn't plan to do that. Jacks just planned to have Alex ambush Luke. Kristen planned to tell everyone about this Michelle rumor and she planned to then apologize at the dinner table, but she also knows that no one is going to let her apologize at the dinner table. So she understands that the group dynamic, uh, the need to be loud is going to overplay the need for forgiveness. Yeah, for sure. It's interesting because like coming off of watching a lot of seasons of Housewives where we see like, it's

it's so common when you can watch a cast of Housewives and they are trying to get someone off the show. There's more of a game where it's like you want to knock someone out. You can actually knock someone out and get them off the cast. You can really like sideline someone to see this cast because it's brand new. They have to play nicely together. They need to like carry this out and they need to build a foundation together. they can't be trying to like take someone out of the cast completely.

So it's it's interesting to see that when you're so used to watching, you know, a bunch of people playing for keeps. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And Jacks, Kristen, and Janet know how this works. And that's where it's very interesting to see everyone else kind of like learning in real time how they're going to present themselves on screen.

And we know that Jesse and Michelle end up, you know, splitting up by the end of the season. But Jesse, it's clear to me, has absolutely no idea how he comes off. Just the fucking hubris of assholery in this guy. And you can tell when Jacks is like putting it on, right? Jack's also, not without his faults, but golden television maker, the same way Kristen is, but a different side of the coin. Jesse just thinks he knows everything. And I've talked about this on, sorry, going on a bit of a rant here, but I talked about this on a previous episode I covered in the Valley where, you know, not to get too deep on the life coach couch for a moment. but like my dad was one of those guys who like expected me to just know stuff, right?

And so seeing someone on camera where you're like, no, dude, you have to be taught things. Like you are not born with like the information to do something. And he feels like if he just exerts himself like at this dinner table, you know, like slamming his fists down and being like, no, now it's this person's time to talk because you need to talk in. listen to her and I am the brute force of all information is wild. And the funniest thing about that, if I can just jump in quickly, the funniest thing about that is how he does that to be like, you have to listen to Michelle talking. And then a minute later, cuts Michelle off, shushes her so that he can talk.

That was just the peak asshole moment for me. And that is him. That is him. He is laying himself out there and he has no clue. He has no clue that when you're trying to kick your friend's ass at roller hockey when your mid-40s is not as cool as you think it looks. Totally. Dylan, what did you take away from the storytelling here?

Yeah, I do appreciate Jesse being here just to finish that thought, like I've said before, because I do like they're being a perfect asshole who seems to have no awareness, no remorse. and Jesse absolutely seems to confirm more and more each episode that that's exactly what he is. I think in terms of like the way the stories is being told, I'm starting to get in the sense that when they present this as like the more mature, I grow it up, offshoot of Vanderpump rules, they just mean it's becoming real housewives because this is such a real housewife's plot line for me to have it be entirely focused around. not necessarily what happened, but how information was disseminated, you know, just the endless haggling over who had the right to say what and through which channel did this information make its way back to the person it is about. That is, that's just like classic housewives plot where

you lose track of what the original issue was because it's just all falls down to who said what to whom and who had the right to do that and how could we trace what to what. And also the fact that it all comes to ahead at like a big like, you know, dinner scene. Yeah. It's also, you know, obviously classic housewife shit. I do like that we get Kristen in the center again. You know, like we mentioned, Jacks gets pushed to the sidelines for once. Like as with his bar in this show in this episode, he just seems to be not contributing anything.

And we get Kristen being Kristen being kind of a floundering mess, but maybe like you say, Rob, having more strategy that is obvious to watching her. I do think she's like not completely, but semi-vindicated by everything that comes out later, where it kind of seems like the gist of what she communicated was actually communicated to her. and that everybody who originally was like that no way it was anything like that ever said kind of like kind of starts backtracking and and coming back to realize that or to admit that yeah okay so we kind of said that it does seem to kind of boil down to the idea of like was like the word racist used or did they just invoke the idea that she has sympathies with that edge of the political of the American political spectrum that is associated with race

And what that means when you say things like that, right? Yeah, totally. You talk about, you know, couched language in laws, right? Like, Kristen's not going to go gossip to someone and use semantics that way. She's going to be like, Michelle, I was heard Michelle did this, and you know what that means. That means that they're trying to say that she's a racist. And Kristen's trying to boil it down to exactly the talking point. And, you know, that doesn't work out for her well.

But I also think she knows that. She knows what's going to get these people riled up. Yeah. And also, maybe it will work out for her well. If this makes her end up looking like the victim of a pile on and having Jesse just straight up, calling her a racist to her face at the table. If that puts her in a position where suddenly she seems sympathetic because she seems to be getting all the attacks aimed at her, then maybe it does work out well for her. Well, and being the first person fired from Bravo to actually go back on Bravo and talk about exactly what, well, maybe not yet. I'm sure that'll be next episode, but like how we end this episode with the headlines, with Kristen talking about how she was educating herself on, you know, bias and how she presented herself in the faith situation.

and it is one of those things we're like, yeah, that is going to, like that is taking the L that we're talking about with the Maya situation previously. She understands, she's one of the only people in that whole scenario

of people getting fired that actually, I think, admitted to stuff and educated themselves and didn't kind of just like sweep it away or get defensive. Like, there was a little bit of both of that.

But Kristen is the person who, in real time, spoke on it, discussed it, discussed it on the podcast, is now back on a show, discussed it, and is letting them do the editing in this sort of way and not afraid to discuss it. Like, when you hear Brittany and her while they're getting churros,

say like, and of all people, you, like, why would you want to bring that up? It's like, yeah, Brittany, we know that's how you want to go about it. Totally. But Kristen knows what she's doing here. Yeah, 100%. that leads into what I identified as a theme for this was this idea of like labels that was the number one thing that people were actually worked up about this this episode and it was this there was this detachment between like labels and the behavior that they represent and they were far more concerned about getting this label associated with them and as opposed to the actual like behavior that would would would cause that. And I think it's, Kristen even has a problem even like saying the word racist. She like, she's just so afraid to say that. She refers to it as the R word at one point. She's like,

I would never use the R word. Like, you can say racist. Like, you need to be able to say the word racist in order to call out racist behavior. So the fact that she is so worried about this label of racist being like thrown around because like she has been accused. of being a racist. And, you know, she's trying to show that she has grown from that, but it's still, like, really walking on egg shells in, in that area. I thought it was a really interesting to see this dynamic. And, you know, especially, like, not just the racist label, but also the label of Republican.

They're, like, worried about, like, what it would mean to be labeled as a Republican in California, while in the same episode, throwing a party at an $18 million mansion that they are selling in Beverly Hills and talking about how they like go to, you know, Capri to like hobnob with wood billionaires. Like,

obviously you're Republican. You're behaving like a Republican. And let me tell you, there's a hell of a lot of Republicans in California. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also,

it's kind of, I didn't quite understand why they keep being like, how could you insinuate Michelle's a Republican? Like, she's, they say a couple of times first generation Mexican and first generation Persian, by which I assume they mean first generation American from Mexican and Persian parents. But I don't understand why somebody without heritage could not be Republican or cannot be racist. I don't understand the reasoning there. It's wild. They started using those things interchangeably. And like, I think there's a lot of like, rub balls out there one way reason or another but like you do have to differentiate these things when you're getting into the nuance of these conversations and you know just not for nothing uh jasmine a queer person of color on the show gets one talking head about this and i think that yeah and and you know i'm not here to like say what's what's right or what's wrong but what that presents to me as a viewer

is that what we're really trying to show is a bunch of these people terrified of what you're saying, Craig, the label. They're more worried about how it's going to affect their brand and who they are online. They're more worried about getting canceled

than they are of their actual behaviors. Right. And that's the end-all, be-all here. That's what they're showing and not telling us. It's like these people want to keep their job. That's what they want. They want to be able to keep their job and keep where they are and not have to write a notes apap apology ever in their life.

Yeah, totally. Let's get your poll quote. What quotes stood out to you? Well, right in line with what we're talking about, the poll quote that really jumped out to me is, I wasn't always this way, but now I'm a walking truth serum. And that's from Kristen. And I kind of got to say, when they were like going back to a lot of, of the Kristen flashbacks all the way to like 2013.

Like everything she said in those flashbacks was true. We just didn't know it was true until like the 10th season of Vanderbohrules. Yeah. So she might have actually always been walking truth serum, but now she's doing it intentionally. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. And, you know, there's still probably truth to come out based on what she has said about James and what she has said about how he operates in a relationship.

We're getting like glimmers of that. So yeah, I love that. Real quick, did you all catch the clip of Ariana on Kristen and Luke's new rebranded podcast balancing act? No. Now, here's the thing. This is a big like red yarn theory that I don't necessarily subscribe to, but it's one of those fun ones. they're talking about Ariana's current boyfriend, current boyfriend, Dan.

And they're like, oh, he's so great. You just light up when you're talking about him. And, like, and Kristen says, and Luke, remember when you, like, met him for the first time? I believe it was like, Sheena's wedding. And then he's like, yeah. And then we all went to Applebee's in San Francisco. And everyone's like, hang on,

Sheena's wedding. Yeah. She was still with Sandoval at that time. man, it is probably a flub. It is probably she meant something else. But now Kristen has like doubled down and was like, no, Luke was correcting me and saying that we actually met him at Applebee's in San Francisco. And it's like, well, that's not how the language actually worked either.

Kristen would have been so much better if she would have just owned up and have been honest and said like, oh, no, I fucked up. I said Sheena's wedding, but what I meant was this other thing. Like I just slip of the tongue. I was thinking of some other party. But instead by like going, oh, no, Luke was correcting me. And it was actually not this. It's like, no, you're not on reality TV right now.

This is just Instagram comments and podcasts. Come on. That's, yeah, that's really interesting. I mean, I guess Ariana met him at a wedding, right? Yes. They had a different one. Yeah, maybe that's where the confusion is coming up. But I do love the wild speculations.

I'm here from that. Hell, if Ariana is somehow met Dan, but while she was still a Santavall, I want to hear it. I want to see it all. Oh, yeah, totally. Let's get your highlights. Highlights of this episode, I found it, it's kind of like a negative highlight in the sense that like, and I said it in the description, like, Jacks has two lines, the whole episode. And I take that as a highlight only because I'm surprised that I was still captivated

this whole episode without any Jacks. Right. Like they talk about berries at the beginning and he says berries look pretty. And then he tries on capri pants and then he like says he's just going to be quiet at the argument. Like that's his three act of this whole episode. So that's a highlight for me. Although we did get a moment with Jacks at the restaurant. And one of the things that I've liked about the treatment of Jacks, this series has been doing is like showing him as like having like undergone growth since we last saw him. And the growth that we see is him like trying to avert his eyes like really hard from looking at this woman's chest. We did. And he still still can't let it go without like making a comment afterwards.

It's like that is more mature than we have seen them in the past. But like that is the level of growth that we're talking about here. I really love that. I mean, Sue Ellen Mishke comes walking through the door and Jackson is like, Humdy Dum to do. The another highlight for me is the, oh God, life coach instead of therapists. Just classic. They can, some of these people just cannot break the stick.

of therapy at all. It's like, well, I like the idea of a coach because sports. But if I go to a therapist, that means I'm crazy. And it is wild because they're attempting the same results, but from someone who is not professionally equipped to actively consult in marriage counseling. And this was a highlight for me because this is, is Bravo at its finest. This is, or people who are on Bravo at its finest. They are being so vulnerable to this dude who, quite frankly, is giving me the weirdest energy with how he's sitting, how he's touching them, how he, like, gives the weirdest, longest

hug to Michelle when he walks in. Like, everything about it is, like, pseudoscientific language and just getting them to be vulnerable. I mean, hell, when they do legit therapy in front of a camera, you know, I cock an eyebrow at that, as we all do. But at least that person is a licensed therapist, as far as I can tell. This guy is outright saying, like, I am not licensed. I am a life coach. And boy, howdy, if there is not a bigger scam on this planet Earth, I mean, it might be, it might be podcasting at someone while telling them to scream. But this is right up there with that. I was really hoping that we get like a scene where they do that as like a paired session.

And I think my other highlight just has to be the Kristen monologue at the end. I think just we talked about it before, but it is it is big for any person, whether they're a reality star or not. But like, I love seeing people not, as I've said many times, not deflect and like own their shit. And that is where they are going to succeed is that sort of behavior. Like no one is 100% good and no one is 100% bad. Except for Jesse. Well, fair. But like being able to like recognize that in the movie we're directing in our head,

we're the main star. And that's what everyone thinks. Like you need to understand that like the more times you own up to being an asshole. when you are an asshole, the better the outcome is because you have less chances at like being an asshole when you're actively admitting

your faults. So I love that. Totally. Dylan, how about yourself? What were your highlights? We've pretty much covered it all. I'll just add to that

that Kristen's wearing a graphic to you with some mushrooms on it that I thought was really cool, just like a really cool shirt that I wish I had. James May original, I think. Oh, yeah. That was it. Yeah. You know what?

Said one of those to Katie. She could use some pointers on her graphic T game. I think we covered most of my highlights as well. I think the one thing that we haven't touched on like Danny and Nia. We didn't see a lot of them. But I am liking what they're bringing as kind of this like stable cornerstone to this group dynamic. They seem like they've got a really, like, decent relationship. I guess Janet and Jason also seem like they're fairly stable, but they're going through a transition, whereas we're seeing, you know, Danny and Nia as, like, having already gone through that.

So, overall, I'm just, like, really liking the dynamic that this cast has, not just in terms of, like, how they interact with each other, but, like, where they're at in their journeys. It's all kind of across a spectrum. So I'm loving that. Let's pick our, let's pick our stars. Rob will start with you. Sorry, can I just jump in there really quickly? I just wanted to say something. I've nowhere to say it.

I'm just going to say it out of the middle of nowhere because you mentioned Nia. I looked up Nia on Wikipedia and I just thought it was weird that they don't know her age. I just thought that strange. She was Miss America. Doesn't that competition like famously police ages are supposed to police ages closely? Mystery. in terms of making sure people are of legal age, but not too old, not too old.

There's like a narrow definition. So for somebody who's been through that process, it seems very strange to me that her age is not publicly known. I have nothing, nowhere to go with that. I just wanted to say that I found that weird. I will say from first hand account, my friend McKenzie, who was also in the pageant circuit,

knows Nia and says NIA is amazing. So, and I think what we're getting on this, show is authentic Nia and I like her and Danny. So that will be one of my stars is their coupleship. Like they're not in this episode a whole lot because they ain't got nothing to bring to this Kristen debate. And wow, Danny is a good father. Like unheard of with all of this group. And Jason's probably going to be a good dad too. But I love that he's listening. Nia is explaining. They are working together, and that really was, for the little bit we got from them, a star moment for me. Another star for me is Jasmine, who had to put up with listening to all of

these idiots yell and scream at each other during the dinner table, especially Jesse. And my other star is going to have to be, and I'm sorry if I'm realizing I might be jumping in of my stars. It's just what you get when you have Rob on the podcast. I think that's where we are. Yeah. Yeah, that's where we're right.

I think my last star it's going to have to be when Kristen says the churro bites they order smell like the type of candle Britney would burn in her house. That was good.

Yeah, I forgot about that. That's low-key super insult. It's like you're the person who's burning Christmas candles in July. You're burning churros in your house. That's amazing. Dylan, who are your stars? First stars, Kristen, no question.

It's her episode. Beyond that, man, I don't know. Let's give a second start of Jesse for being such a prick that he adds something to the dynamic. Let's give a third star jointly to both of Michelle's parents for Anoculating her against racism Yes, of course Totally Yeah, I think number one star has to be Kristen for me as well

She's just like a complete mess this episode and it pays dividends I loved how she was like immediately throwing Zach under the bus when it gets brought up just great great performance also want to point out um i Kristen was like vague posting on her instagram stories and we got a clip of that so love the uh 2010 energy that is brought because we didn't get much joe and vanderpump rules at least we got some vague booking i i love that that image of the post because it's just a perfect cohen that could mean anything about anybody and i just love that being presented as as evidence and it's like this This is like designed in a lab to say nothing.

I feel like I need to create like a sub post account where it's like this is the account you go to when you want to sub-tweet or sub-story or vague post. Like, like, because I mean it's a gold mine for all reality stars. They love doing that. Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah, my other star, Jesse, again, just like I said last episode, loving the fresh poison on the channel. He's so terrible and it's amazing to watch. And then I think my last star will have to go to Jacks. We don't see a lot of him.

But when we do see him, you can't take your eyes off of him. It's just like so refreshing to have him back on TV. Much like that applicant's nipples. Just can't take your eyes off. Yeah, 100%. Awesome. Well, this has been a blast. Rob, do you want to let everyone know where they can find you?

Yeah, the podcast is Vanderpump Robb's, which is also the Instagram account. I'm also on TikTok. You can find it all there. If you really like my show, I would appreciate a Patreon subscription. You can sign up for free on Patreon, but anyone who does sign up at the Pump teeny tier, all through the month of April, and I may even extend it a little bit into May. get a free t-shirt. So I've got these Vanderpump Rob shirts in the style of 90s bootleg Bart T-shirts. Oh, hell yeah.

And so... I want one of those so bad. Great quality. And it's yours. I'll even pay for the shipping. If you sign up at the Pumpini tier at patreon.com slash vanderpumprobs. But of course, listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. And I really appreciate you both having me on. This has been a blast. Yeah, thank you so much. This has been a ton of fun.

Dylan, do you want to let everyone know where they can find you? Yeah, you can find me on Substack writing very sporadically about movies. Dylan Ferguson is the name. Yeah, I'm Craig Midwinter. You can just find me at Bravo Outsider on Instagram. Check out bravoootider.com. We post VR versions of our episodes.

Also subscribe to us on YouTube. Most importantly, just tell your friends about us. That helps us out a ton. Leave a rating and a review if you feel so inclined. Until next week, keep on wiping.