Oscars Outsider - VPR S11E15 & RHONJ S14E01 Recap/Analysis

Episode Date: May 10, 2024

This week hosts Craig Midwinter and Dylan Ferguson are joined by comedian Tim Gray to dig into S11E15 of Vanderpump Rules and S14E01 of Real Housewives of New Jersey! 🍸Featured Bravolebs: Vanderpump Rules: Lisa Vanderpump, Tom Schwartz, Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix, Katie Maloney, Scheana Shay, Lala Kent, James Kennedy, Ally Lewber, Brock Davies Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, Dolores Catania, Margaret Josephs, Jennifer Aydin, Danielle Cabral, Rachel Fuda 📣 Stay Connected: Find Dylan Ferguson on Substack at https://dylanferguson.substack.com/ Find Bravo Outsider on Instagram at ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/bravooutsider Find Tim on twitter at @timgrayrulez https://www.bravooutsider.com 📖 Credits Music by FASSounds from Pixabay #vanderpumprules #bravo #realitytv #pumprules #scandoval #RHONJ #RealHousewives

If I could just say, you know, I'm coming at it as a literal Bravo outsider where I don't, I don't really watch these shows. And it's not because I don't appreciate them. I look at them the exact same way as I look as baseball, where I think, like, I love to watch it. It's entertaining. It's just so overwhelming to get into such a history. But I remember the first time that I talked to Craig about reality TV shows, and you're like, yeah, you've got to start with Vanderpump Rules.

This was like probably eight years ago. And I never did. But the fact that I jumped in, my first episode was of this story franchise. Possibly the last episode ever. Probably the last episode ever. Definitely felt like it. Definitely felt like it. Hello and welcome to the Bravo Outsider podcast.

I'm your host Craig Midwinter joined as usual by Dylan Ferguson. Dylan, how's it going? That's me expressing my delight to be here. with you guys in the same manner as Teresa expressing her delight with her children. Yeah, I'm sure that's a delight to our audio-only listeners, too. They're absolutely appreciating that. I think Tim was just at the carnival yesterday. Maybe shooting some milk bottles or something.

Yes. Got a giant teddy behind him. For the listener, I have a bunch of dead carnies behind me. Well, that voice you're hearing is none other than our very good friend, Tim Gray. I'm Tim Gray. I set boundaries, especially with doctors. Wow. I love it. That is layered. That is very layered.

Yes. It's layered and it's clumsy. All right. Yeah. Let's dive in with Banderpump rules. Do you want to just give a like three sentence summary of what happened this episode as far as you understand it? Yes, for sure. So Tom absolutely stirring shit up.

And it was like, it was, geez, I'm bad with names on a good day. And there's just a lot of names coming through on this show. But like, you know the one, you know, Tom's X. Ariana. Yeah. Is that right? Yep. That was a master class in boundary setting and sticking to your values.

It was, it was quite the unraveling of the long friendships. you know, it was it was entertaining as hell. There was a very good concert of great performance, musical performance. And then, of course, the Appleby's came in at the end, which I assume happens at the end of every episode. Yeah, the end every episode on Applebyes. Yeah, Applebee's presented as a Vanderbump rules. Yeah, I don't know.

I felt like you saw the end of friendships and the strengthening of others, maybe. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Is it friendships unraveling or is it some friendships re-ravelling? I think we get kind of both happening there. Right. Redefining. It's important to constantly redefine your friendships. Very important.

Yeah. So, Dylan, I'm curious as to what your like takeaway was from the presentation of this artistically, both like this episode and the season on a whole, since we do get like kind of the capstone here. Yeah, I've had moments where I've questioned whether or not this season has just been spinning its wheels, but I should never have doubted these creators' ability to stick the landing because I thought they nailed the ending in a way that was really impressive to me. very emotional and just like a very rich summary of our capstone on like the themes that we've had all season long about like which version of reality is real reality like and what's

a person being real and like you know it's mostly centered around who's the real tom sandival is there such a thing as a real tom sandival what's what's a real relationship versus a relationship for TV. The way it all comes to a head and boils down in this party to this stark distinction between Ariana deciding that she's just not going to give the producers and Sandoval what they want and not engage and not give them, as she wonderfully describes it as not be the final boss in Tom Sandoval's redemption tour that he gets to confront at the end. versus Tom Sandoval playing ball very much with production to the point where they seem like they're both on exactly the same page and bent towards the same purposes.

To wrap that up with a montage of all these performers when they're first trying out for the show with their baby faces and original noses. And just having these sweet kids before they were chewed up and turn. into things by the show, have these little montages of their baby faces, just kind of refracting into multiple versions and fading out as the show ends. Beautiful. What an artistic choice. Absolutely love the way they drive home to final themes there and make it very sad, too.

And the way they lean into the fourth wall kind of disintegrating and spiraling off into the various realities that people are experiencing. Yeah. The lens just completely goes away. And we are seeing everyone like voicing their individual perspectives. We're seeing it like captured from multiple cameras simultaneously. And it gives it a sense of like this is like an authentic like world with a lot of different perspectives that we're seeing. I loved watching that melt away.

It was such a like brilliant choice. There's so much about the way that this season has ended. I think was just done so artfully. And like the season is... Sorry, you said artfully, not fartfully, right? Yeah, that's correct. Okay, just make it sure. But there's like so many choices that they made throughout the construction of this season

that I, that all kind of came to a head here. And it was, it was brilliant. And I love that we got a reflection of the first, uh, a couple episodes of Vanderpump Rules at the end here, where we were kind of focused on Tom Sandoval at the beginning of this season, being surrounded by this, like, crew of random misfits and, like, people that we as viewers aren't, like, really familiar with.

We've maybe, like, seen them here and there, but, like, just a bunch of just, like, a bunch of just, like, random people. And then we got this ending where Ariana leaves and she's the one that is surrounded by all these like this random crew that we like sort of recognize from the background. But Sandoval is the one that has the full like cast that we're familiar with around him and onside. I just thought that it was just such an artful choice to like highlight that at the beginning so that we got that reflection at the end. I loved it. Yeah, that was, it was superb drama. Like truly laid out and played out.

Because it does remind me of sports because it, you know, there is a level of controlled chaos, right? With hockey, they have set plays. There's rules. There's, they're always drunk. And in this world, you know, you have the characters, you have the roles that they play. but you don't know what they're going to say or how it's going to play out. And it's just so so riveting to watch these people be so self-aware of who they are in this cultural moment. And what the impact, like that final monologue where she's like, you say you be your most honest when you're the most uncomfortable and then you think you can just turn it off and move on with your life.

but you can't, right? Because especially them, they're in the public eye, it keeps coming at them in waves, and some of that is maybe criminal. But a lot of it is just the public eye. I mean, they probably can't even go like grocery shopping without someone being like, oh, I heard Tom slept with somebody else. Yeah.

You know, kind of a nightmare. Yeah, yeah. There was a moment earlier where, like, I think Ariana and Katie described coming back in an Uber, and they were shocked that their Uber driver didn't recognize them. They're like, what the hell? Who is this guy? Where does he live?

Like, that he doesn't know who we are. But I also think it just one big theme that we've had this series is just how these people have probably lost touch of a way of processing their own lives beyond the show, both when the show is being filmed and also even during the off season, when, like you said, because they are celebrities, they're so basking and surrounded by in. and all this drama that's happening on, you know, whatever, Instagram and Reddit and stuff like that. Yeah. And it's just like, like, how would they even know what they are any more without that at this point?

Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, and then they're like, oh, God, you know, the season's over, but they still have to, they still have to listen back, the back catalog of Bravo outsider because they were too busy when the episodes were being released. They got to get cut off on our eggs, of course. Yeah. Yeah. Just quick shout out to Ariana. I know you're listening.

I think you picked the person least likely to listen to us. Joe, we know you're listening. Joe, turn it off. Get back to your priorities. I do want to talk a little bit more about the ending still. And how it compares to the, like, what was seemingly the series finale that they shot last season prior to the scand of all breaking, where we saw it take place at Sir as a, like, really trying to bookend the series. And we got it ending on this big, like, finale speech from Lisa Vanderpump. That definitely felt like the intended series finale.

I'm curious on how do you feel about this? as a potential series finale versus the one that we got last season. Way better if you're comparing it to like Lisa's speech about like, you know, we're all friends and we've had hard times and good times or whatever. Like that would put a lame way to end it. The actual final episode that we got last season, the scandalable episode they tacked on the end was an amazing piece of TV as well as we've covered.

So that would have been a nice ending. But I think I like this one even more. with the way that, like I said, circles back to the origins of these characters, just dipping their toes into the world of being TV performers and forces us to reflect on what's become of them. And also forces us to reflect on just ideas of truth and reality and just interrogating the idea of, like, who is more right here between kind of the Tom Sandval perspective of, I would say, is what is most real as what is on camera and the perspective that

Ariana ends up embracing, which is what is most real is what is not on camera. Yeah. And I just think those two themes really end up combining really nicely as a way to end the series in both the combination of like, you know, these people being warped by the show and that throwing the notion of reality into disorder. And we also kind of get Lala's perspective throughout this show resolving too, because as I've talked about before, Lola's kind of become almost an audience insert in this season because she's been positioned as the one who can move between both worlds, between Team Mariana and Team Tom, and has been presented as being a little more level-headed. And the fact that the kind of final perspective she ends up staking out is that she officially renounces Ariana because she's not a professional, right? That seems to be what Lala's final criticism of Ariana is, is that this is your job.

This is my job. You know, I've spent most of my adult life doing this. Like she literally says, this is what we do. And she really does become the. voice of production at that moment. Like that's kind of the ultimate moment of her perspective being twins with with production's perspective. That she like the producers who are trying to get Arianna to stay and trying to get

Ariana to speak with Tom, which again, I love the fact that we have the producers on camera saying to area, no, you have to, you're supposed to talk with him right now. This is what you're supposed to do in this scene. I was going to ask. Like, was that guy actually a freaking producer? Yeah. Yeah. And Lala's voicing that perspective of you're a professional, we are professionals.

This is supposed to be what we do. Yeah. Yeah. I really like this idea of, you know, we've talked about Lala as this like insert for us. I think that Lala is like an insert for us as like some members of the audience. What I think she's also like this lens insert. Like she is the insert for production like, like you said, which is distinct from us as an audience because I think that there's a huge portion of the fandom that would consider Katie

a more appropriate self-insert character than Lala this season because she is taking the same like the hard line that Ariana has and there's a lot of people online that are you know towing that line as well so I think there's there's different like people can project themselves into this show via a number of different characters yeah totally And I think it's interesting to finally see Lala as not just a viewer insert, but a production insert. Yeah, I can't get over how nuanced this ending was. And I actually hope that we don't get any more Vanderpump rules because I think that this is the way that it needs to end. I think that, you know, you can bring these people back in some other form.

I don't think it's. going to be Vanderpump rules anymore. Half of them can move over to the valley. Yeah, yeah, totally. I think one of the things that, like, I have criticized about Vanderpump rules over the years. Famously.

Before, before we had this podcast, so I don't have the receipts. Maybe I'll scroll back in the group chat and you don't challenge me, is that, you know, it has been a number, there's been a number of occasions where it has felt like

the Vanderpump Rules construct has been broken. Like we had no longer doesn't make sense for them to be you know servers at sir and living, you know, in apartments together and stuff like that. It just there's a point where that didn't make sense. But Vanderpump Rules was able to like evolve and expand. Right.

To like, um, allow for these like these larger lives because these people were still able to like work together and Vanderpump Rules has evolved and kept expanding. in order to be able to contain these lives and be able to present them. This felt like a moment where they have finally exploded out of the construct. The construct of Vanderpump Rules has broken. The fourth wall is dissolved. These people are not, it's not feasible for them to work together anymore. They're freezing each other out.

And so we're seeing this like the multiverse. collapse and the construct of Vanderpubbub rules dissolving and spiraling off. Yeah, just absolutely brilliant. Everywhere, everything all at once could never. Yeah, they went where everything all at once couldn't. Yeah. Yeah, it really does feel like after kind of transounding the boundaries of the K-Fave of pretending that their servers at a restaurant, they have then like recently proceeded

to transcend the boundaries of like pretending that they're not acting for a show in a way. Like it's become so meta at the point that now that we finally reach a point where they're literally talking with producers and Lala's literally saying, I'm going to break the fourth wall here by saying this. And like they're literally interrogating the idea of like on camera, off camera, well, they're still on camera. Like it's all the boundaries have have completely broken at this point. Can I go back a little bit?

That actually started with Sheena and not Lala for breaking the fourth wall. Sheena was the first person to be like, well, do I mean a lot to you for the show or do I mean a lot to you because of life? So that is kind of an unexpected person to actually break the wall because she is like a pro. Yeah. Guys, do you mind if I go back in the episode a little bit and ask you a question that I'm sure. is everyone is on their mind right now. We've only talked about the last five minutes so far. So, yes.

Let's backtrack and backtrack a little bit, just a little bit. Have you guys ever had a threesome? Personally, I have never. And I don't, and I'm like in the camp. But it is on your bucket list? No, no. I, I, I, I doesn't, the idea doesn't appeal to me. Like, I just feel like that sounds stressful.

to me. Like I would like for me like the fun of sex is that you're putting all your attention in one person. If I have to divide my attention between two people, there's like too much like to use like the Freudian terms like super ego like getting in there and being like oh like am I like dividing my attention improperly like there's too much to think about in that situation. That's how I imagine I haven't done it. But to me that sounds stressful. That sounds like like less sexy than just being focused on one. person. Do you think, do you think three is where it's weird? Do you think the higher the number of people involved, the less that becomes an issue? I feel like if you get into pair numbers,

then you're just like fucking together in a group. Because you're just presumably just going to pair off. If it's pair numbers and if it's impair numbers, then it's like. What if you had a special power where on the palms of your hands, you can grow penises. So you could. You could theoretically have three people going. Anyways. That changes everything. That was such an interesting conversation in that Chinese restaurant, though. I mean, that's where I really felt, oh my God, this is like the amount of steeping that has gone on in these relationships is so potent.

you really felt which characters were new, especially when Dan was it, the new boyfriend, was just getting absolutely guerrilla. Yeah, by Lala. Yeah, by Lala. Literally giving him the job interview session. That was pretty funny. That was pretty funny.

What would you describe as your greatest weakness? Since this was your first episode, I'm curious, leading up to that scene, What do you think the back story for these characters were? Who's to know to you? What do you think their stories are? Right. The two ladies that were in the bed together.

Katie and Lala? Katie and Lala. Yeah. Sorry. They felt like you can kind of tell which you can, there was a depth to the characters that I felt like had been there the longest. you know and then you felt like the other pieces i felt the other pieces of the cast that were kind of i don't know if they were brought in or incorporated or whatnot i don't know

but like like that just did the comfortableness on camera when it comes to like la la and company um i couldn't really i mean uh i think i've heard this term uh scandival scandival yeah uh so obviously it's very catchy catchy as heck um Do you think if it wasn't so catchy, it wouldn't have been such a big deal that he slept around a little bit? Yeah, well, I think that's actually like a good question. If it didn't have the kind of branding of Scandival, would it have been as big of a story? I think that it probably wouldn't have been to the same extent, but it still would have been a pretty major thing. Like it blew up within the fandom and then it exploded outside of the fandom.

I think that still would have happened. I don't know if it would have had the same legs without like catchy branding. But maybe the branding was an inevitability. Right. You know, some sort of hashtag was going to get applied to this. It's just the world that these people operated. I almost feel sorry for this Tom fellow because he seems like he operates in a way that he thinks he needs to survive and not be alone and find love. You've described all of us, Tim.

I know, I know. We're just trying to not be alone. But, you know, he seems to be doing it in kind of a nipid of way. Like maybe he's afraid to be his authentic self. And so he, you know, he thinks like he's like, feel like he's really lost in his own ego, perhaps. Yeah. That's something that's really being interrogated, I think, for me. Yeah.

And we've talked about before on the show. Like, is there some off-camera, Tom, that's more real? And that's kind of, that's the thing that, as you mentioned, Craig, Shina is, is odd easy about, which she literally says, like, is this like a filming friendship or is this a real friendship? and Arianna makes a point at the end where she's like, Tom could have done something off camera if he wanted to talk to me. He could have left a note or something. He could have done some off camera. That would have been more real if it was off camera.

Yeah. But from his perspective, it's like what's happening on camera is more real. And I think that's actually like a really interesting, like philosophical question. Yes, it is. It's like that when the tree falls in the forest thing, like is it? Yeah. If there's somebody there to hear it, is that what validates its reality? Or if the tree fell with nobody nearby, would it be more real because our perceptions

wouldn't be there to pollute and misinterpret the reality of it? Right. I always heard that phrase, not as tree falling, but as a frog farting. But I guess it's a different school of Buddhism, I think. Right. I think mine was bootyism. It is so interesting. Sorry, there's a cat running around behind me, zooming around.

Yeah, what is real? Like, if you would have left, obviously in my heart, I'm like, if you would have left that note off camera, said something off camera to her, would that have changed anything for her? Would she have stayed at the party? Would she have let Tom clumsily and half-drumbsily? and half drunk

come up to like her multiple times in the party to talk to the person beside her clearly just to try to like stir shit up in a clumsy way though like there wasn't a I don't know

I mean Tom is so aware of the cameras that's kind of one thing that has been hammered home both on screen as well as in like the New York Times article that came out about him just he's so

aware he is always thinking about his like on screen presentation and right story so I mean it was clear that this party was going to be the finale for the season he was trying to

make sure that he got on camera this confrontation that everyone has been waiting for between Tom and Arianna because this is something that everyone has wanted since episode one of this season is to like see. So is he doing it to serve the audience or is he doing it for himself? He does everything to like serve himself.

Serve the audience and himself. You know, by serving the audience, the audience is his tool for self-service. Yeah. I think in this moment, it's the same thing. Like what the audience wants is what production wants is what he wants, which is him and Ariana face to face. Yes. Talking.

Right. And then the fact that Ariana leaves and kind of pisses off everybody production, Lala, Sheena to a certain extent, definitely Sandoval. Definitely Tim.

It's, yeah, it feels like the final moment of like production and the show, whatever the show means, all of it, like finally taking San Diego of all side, having the notable cast surrounding him, like you said, Craig. But then what I love about the way they present it is that they give us, they do present

Ariana's perspective. They do have her saying, like, I don't have to do this if I don't want to. Like, I don't have to participate. She's being Bartleby, the scrivener. She's saying, like, I prefer not to. Like, I would, I don't have to. And that they give us that the very final moment is just the audio of, of Sandoval being like, I love it.

It's good for me. and I love the way they complicate the ending there by being like, yes. The show has taken Sandoval's side, but then also we're going to kind of undermine both us and him by pointing out how this is serving his agenda and not Ariane's agenda. Yeah. That was the last line of the...

Yeah, the last moment of potentially the series. And so Tom got the final say, which is what he wanted, but it was a monkey's paw because... There you go. Yeah. What he said. not such a nice thing yeah I love that they made sure to capture the producer saying

you know this is it this is the end before saying that like it was this this coda at the end so yeah I another brilliant choice in that end there's just so much to dissect in that ending but let's let's move on to the the quote Tim did you pick a quote that stood out to you from this episode Yeah, well, it was the one that, well, I guess maybe the, have you ever had a threesome? That would be an early option.

It's so loaded at the end, but I just like that last line. I forget by Arianna where she says, you have your moment of honesty, even when it's uncomfortable. Oh, was that Lala? Lola, sorry, Lala. Yeah, that was Lala. Yeah, Lala. That final piece from Lala was quite powerful. Yeah, she kind of gives the perspective of this is why we have to have these things on camera. This is why we have to be professionals because we're like, it's our job to create a document. And Arianna is betraying our job. I like that moment from her. It was a professional move, but it was also like somebody at their wits. in somebody that just doesn't give a fuck

anymore, someone that's just like at the end of it and truly like you were saying the fourth wall, it felt like had completely dissolved at that point. Yeah, it also felt like it also felt like her being like, I have

like surrendered so much of my life to this show. Yeah. How dare other people not do the same? You know, it felt like she was being like, I've lost so much to be on Vandrap Up rules. It has fucked up my life so much. So how dare she pretend like she gets to just recuse herself from it? Right.

We're all stuck in this hell together. Like you're not supposed to be able to walk out. Even if you're, you're supposed to be trapped in here too. Right. The episode is going to air whether you walk away or you stay. Yeah. So, you know, yeah.

It made me feel sorry for them, right? Because the premises of these shows is people have to have archetypes and characters. They have to have bad, bad people, good people. You could cheer for and hate and all that stuff. but at the end of this episode I felt like all these characters are so complicated and so I felt sorry for them

but I also really saw them as human beings not just one thing or the other except for of course Tom didn't feel like Tom showed many layers there but yeah let's dive into our highlights Dylan what were your highlights

I mean look we've we've we've gotten over the ending pretty thoroughly I think at this point. So I don't, I could keep talking about it, but I don't think we need to keep passing over it. So I'll just point out a couple funny moments, like when Brock says of being in the trolley in San Francisco,

I feel like I'm in this scene from Mrs. Doubtfire. Like that's, I just like that that's his reference for a movie scene in San Francisco. It's not like Vertico or Bullet or or dirty hairy. It's like, yeah, Mrs.

Doubtfire was shot here. Like that's great. It's a classic. like Brock a moment. Just great stuff from Brock. I saw one movie. It was good.

And now I don't need to see any other movie. Movies good. Brock. On to the next thing. This is movie reviews with Brock. I haven't seen this one

because it's not Mrs. Doubtfire. So it probably sucks. I'm giving two stars to Shindler's list. Anyways, fans keep sending in movies. You want me to review that I haven't seen. One quick highlight was when they were, again, at that restaurant. I really liked it because they got stuffed into the small room together.

The food that was coming out looked good. I didn't see anybody eat any of it. But when they all got seven beers, And then what's his name, gets a Coke? And then just the way she said, do you have a diet Coke? Yeah. Thank you. That's got to be a sponsorship.

She didn't trust the quality of their sparkling water, I think. That's what happens. I think we covered, yeah, the ending was obviously my highlight. There was another moment in that lunch that I, really liked and actually it was a parallel with with something that happened at the end when la la la says during her confessionals you know when ariana gets past sandival the monster she's going to have to go through a grieving process i like how this contrasted you know right ariana talking about herself being the final boss monster in sandal's journey um just like it really kind of captured the

two separate journeys that they're on and how they both need this confrontation with each other in order to move on in the healing process. Yeah. Yeah, just one little moment that's sit out and how, again, they're just so keen at constructing these episodes that they're able to include these parallels. It just makes it such a complex watching experience. Yeah, I like that line from Al-a, too, because that also, is something that I kind of agree with in the sense that like I've said before in the show,

I'm not sure that Ariana strategy is the best thing for her, like in terms of her mental health and actually processing what she's been going through and mourning the relationship as Lala says it. It feels like she's avoiding her emotions rather than trying to deal with them. So for me, it's kind of, I'm kind of conflicted between feeling like that Ariana's maybe behaving in a way that's unhealthy for herself, but also feeling like she does have the right to walk away from the show. And that's kind of like

a moment of of freedom for her, almost radical freedom from the show's clutches. And it's interesting to contrast Lala's concern for Arianna with her anger at Ariana for walking out from her

professional perspective, as we've already covered. Yeah, it's kind of punk. Yeah. Oh, was that producer? Was that CM Punk? Was that who that was? How long do they, can I ask, how long do they spend in the editing?

Are they editing the show as the events are unraveling? Do they, like, it's got to be, it's like, how do they not get an Oscar for editing these things? First of all, it's television. So it's an Emmy, and they got snub glass season, actually. They should have got a Grammy at least.

She should have got a Grammy at least. She should have. Yeah, definitely. Do we like Sheena's performance, by the way? Yeah, I was surprised. Like, I thought it was really good. I thought it was late off. Yeah.

My big criticism was that her outfit seemed like less met gala and more like, like, Halloween spirit. Like, it seemed very, like, plasticy, cheap quality. No, the worst outfit was Ariana's friend who was in yellow instead of gold. That's like bright. Oh, yeah. Yeah, screw that loser. Yeah. That guy who when Joe shows up, he's like, oh, my favorite crackhead.

Fuck you, buddy. Yeah. A piece of shit. Yeah. Oh, take that suit back to Forever 21, you fucking loser. Take that suit back to the guy who kidnapped Curious George, you jackass. I met you like your weeners, like you like your coffees, flat white. Yeah, a subtle nod to colonialism up from this guy's outfit here.

Yeah, I think we covered most of my highlights here. Let's move on to our stars. Tim, we'll start with you. Who are your stars? Oh, the star for me was, uh, I'm going to give it to Tom for being in the shadows, having a lot of the cast not want to talk to him or be able to talk to him due to personal sides that they've chosen,

and then still being such a center point for the episode. Obviously, his scandal is like keeping him number one, keeping him number one on the Billboard Top 100 people to watch on TV. but yeah, I don't know. Just, if without Tom in that episode, that would have been pretty boring. Yeah. One thing about Tom that I didn't mention, though, I noticed that every time that we saw him at the beginning of this episode

when he was in his hotel room, there's a number of scenes where he's just being splashed with like a variety of different colors of light. And there's a, there's a scene. where he's talking with Schwartz and he like Sandoval's under this this light that keeps like changing colors like a galaxy light or something right um you know Schwartz is outside of this light and it's just like um yeah yeah interesting that he got this this lighting treatment we you know didn't see the source of it is it is it the ghost of Rachel just flitting through the set yeah I'm assuming Rachel's a character that died tragically.

Yes. You can say that. From the show's perspective. Left the show tragically, let's say. Which is the same thing. Yeah. Off of a cliff. Raquel died so Rachel could live.

Yeah. How sad was that hotel room, though? Remember what that? He's like, oh, you really like bread bowls. Yeah. A bunch of empty bread bowls in the hotel room. That's such a lot of. a weird

red bowls. That's so weird. Absolutely bizarre. You just eating spinach dip nonstop. What the hell? What the hell is? Tom, you will literally crush

bread bowl before going to therapy. Just calling down for a room service. Hey, can I have another bread bowl of soup? Are you sure you don't want it in a real bowl because there's a lot of empty I said in a bread bowl. Okay, can we take away the other one? No.

Those are my chamberpots. Dylan, who are your stars? I'm going to give my number one star to Joe because she's the one who's least destroyed by this show as much as they're trying to destroy her. So even if she has just a tiny appearance and just gets chewed out by King. Katie. She's done, she's never done anything Rob except for apologizing to Katie. That's the only mistake she's that she's made. She had nothing to apologize for and just for being, killing her pet turtle that. Wait, what? I don't remember that. Kills her pet turtle. Early on in the season, she talks about how like she had a pet turtle that she was out walking on a leash or something

like that and it fell down a sewer. Oh, right. Oh, my God. She would be walking a pet turtle on a leash too. Oh, my God. You know, I've actually, I've seen that once,

once I was in a park, reading in a park, and I saw somebody walking a turtle at a leash. And it was like the most excruciating thing I've ever seen in my entire life, just torture to watch. Just the way that it moves at about

an inch every minute was just like, I couldn't stand it. So she probably killed that turtle on purpose because that would drive me mad. We don't know that it's dead. It's in a shore. Turtles like drive in sewers.

Famously. Absolutely. Yeah. It could be learning, it could be learning karate right now as we speak. Yeah, exactly. It could have been oozed on. You know,

you don't know these things. You don't know. You can't speculate, okay, so be careful. But also like, how unconfident are you in your ability to walk fast that you have to put your fucking turtle on a leash.

Yeah. That's just another level of like, I own this thing. Well, apparently she was right to have it on a leash because she's letting that thing fall into gaps in the everywhere, which. Well, I mean, I don't understand. Did she let go of the leash and then it fell through? Yeah, I'm not confident that the leash part of this story is true.

Okay. My memory could be failing me. And maybe it wasn't even a turtle. Maybe it was a fairer. A neighbor. A neighbor. Maybe it was Tom Schwartz. It reemerged with bleached hair.

So, yeah, anyways, I'm going to go a little bit off the board to give Joe the stars, like, because everybody else is too poisoned and ruined by the show to take it. But why don't we give a second star to, let's give it to Tom Sandval. I mean, how could you not? It's been his show for better or for worse, often for worse. It's been his show. He sees control of it again, really is what's happened. He really sees control of the show again.

And he's a bizarre, narcissistic weirdo, but he's managed to make all this happen. All this, this, this, this, this fascinating, nasty, multi-surfaced, bizarre thing that the show has become is mostly thanks to him. So whatever, we'll give him a second star. And let's give a third star. Does Tom have a merch line? Oh, well, he's got those Tom Tom, like logo, like hoodies and hats and stuff. Oh, okay.

He's probably got like Tom Sandoval and the most extras merch too. And shorts and Sandys as other restaurants, merch is probably sitting in a warehouse somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. So start Arianna too, because again, like just her decision to walk away was kind of a fascinating choice that

that gave us that great ending as well. Yeah. Yeah, totally. I completely agree with your stars there. I do want to talk just a little bit more about Joe and Katie. this apology. Dylan, you mentioned that it's a mistake.

Do you want to elaborate on that? Well, okay, first of all, there's no way that she was going to get anything from Katie, right? Like there's zero chance that Katie Maloney is going to be like, oh, yeah, you know what? Thanks for apologizing. That's kind of you. Let's shake hands. Like, obviously, there's no world is that going to happen in. And I don't see how she ever did anything wrong.

Like, if Katie wants to be mad at Schwartz for, you know, hooking up with somebody too soon after they broke up. Okay, that's somewhat reasonable. I do think you break up with somebody and you've kind of more or less lost your right to dictate what they do with their lives. But he still does owe something to you as somebody who shared so much of his life with you. So I can understand that perspective.

But what does Joe owe to you, Katie? Nothing. Like she owes nothing to you. That's not your friend. You hate her. Like you treat her like shit. You insult her all the time. And now you expect her to organize her life around your preferences.

It just seems illogical to me. Yeah, yeah, totally. Okay, let's move on to New Jersey. So we have a brand new season, Real House Wise, with New Jersey. And one thing that we like to do is talk taglines, give them a rating. Guess who's is whose. Ellen, you have not seen or heard these yet? Yeah, I was going to say, I didn't get the taglines in the episode I watched.

Have they not dropped them yet? Okay, yeah, so I have not heard them. They're published, but they weren't on this episode. Nice. We haven't done this in a long time. Yeah, I know. It's been a while. They were published, but they weren't in the episode.

Yeah, they were released. I don't know. Usually they... In hardcover. Yeah, they... Craig's got a stack of these on his nightstand next to his bed. When he's nodding off a night, he puts on some reading glasses and opens up the latest edition of Housewives taglines.

Yeah, you gather the family. Throw some logs on the fire. Kids, it's time for new taglines. Okay, let's start with when you're taking cheap shots, I'm taking screenshots. So I've got to guess you this is, right? You got to guess and give it a rating. Okay. Who's been taking screenshots here?

I want to say, somebody who's neck deep in the drama, but that's everybody on the show. So I feel like that could be Melissa. And I can tell by her face it's not. And I think it's a mid one. I think this is like a B minus. It's okay.

You know, it's got a rhyming factor. but it's like it's it's kind of one layer there's you know it doesn't have a pun really it's just a rhyme right right right right could be could be better just a rhyme okay yeah I agree Tim what what do you think I think can I hear it again can I hear it one more time from the top when you're taking cheap shots I'm taking screenshots yeah I try it like a cockney accent you're right right right if a little stank on it I'm not doing that. I do like it because it's the current.

People are taking screenshots all the time. I'm doing it every day. But yeah, it could be a better pun. Now, I don't know the characters of this. I've seen, I think two, three or four episodes maybe of this New Jersey show. So I don't really know the characters that way. I'm just going to, I'm looking at a cast list. I'm going to say, was it Melissa?

It is not Melissa. So this is Margaret. Okay. Sure. Yeah. I was close as close as well going over. I'd say that this is a B. I like it.

I think better than you do Dylan. I don't know. I like the rhyme. The other thing is it's not really a rhyme because you're using the same word twice. You're using shots. Yeah. Twice. So it's like not a great rhyme.

Yeah. Okay. The rhyme police. I am. that's what we're doing. Oh, he just pulled out his badge and gun. Okay. If you don't have my back, at least have a backbone.

Oh, I'm going to give that it. I feel kind of the same way that it's like the wordplay is not great. It's just good enough. I'll do another B minus. I say that's Danielle. Is that Daniel? No, it's not. Yeah.

I'd say this is like, I like this one less than cheap shots, screenshots. This is Rachel Fuda. I think that this is a C plus maybe. Yeah, it's not amazing. That was my initial thought, but the more I sit with it, I kind of like it. Because if you're not going to have my back, at least have a backbone. Now, that's a shit, shit rhyme, if I ever heard one. I think, you know, Dylan, you're not an expert.

Also, yeah, you know what? Let's just point out that a backboat in a back is basically the same thing. Basically. So you know what? This is actually C level for me the more I think about it because you're not even really saying two different things. You're just saying like, no, if you don't have my back, at least have your own. Right. At least have a spine.

Yeah, yeah. At least have a spine. At least have your own back if you can to support my spinal column. My spine. Strait on your own spinal column. That's a cleaner. version. T-shirts.

Let's make T-shirts. If you're not going to have my spinal column, at least have a spinal column of your own. Friends are like handbags. The fake ones are all too easy to spot. Yeah, that's okay. I'll give it a C. Yeah.

That's the kind of one that's like, could be anybody's tag land at any time. It just feels so unspecified and just so like a general. They feel like that could be in like a lineup of like general usage housewife taglimes that have yet to be claimed and that anybody should pick. So that's kind of my issue with it. Cleared for error, but it's not going to make the highlights. Yeah, there you go. I'll give that a C plus.

Maybe I'm just getting tired of there not being a knockout one yet. Uh, who would that be though? Um, um, um, is that, um, Delores maybe? Nope. I'm, I'm striking out on all of these. This is Jennifer Aiden. Yeah, it would be hard to guess from this one because there's like nothing. Right. I mean, all three of them feel have like, except, like, unless the screenshot is referring to something specific,

which I suppose it probably is, they, they, the three of them so far have felt very general to me. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Margaret's is like last season her storyline was this arsenal that she supposedly has. So I guess maybe that's what that's going for. She's taking screenshots to add to the arsenal. Sure.

Yeah. You could try tear me down, but this tree keeps on growing. Well, that's Teresa. Yeah. Tree, yeah. Okay, you know what? I like it. I like, there we go.

We've got the specificity. We've got using her nickname in it. Yeah. Yeah, that just actually reminded me of like a good line in Vanderpump rules too. That was, Joe had a good line in Vanderprop. I forgot to mention it until now, but you just brought up to me. Like Joe was talking about confronting Katie and she says, like, I could be a tree and she would try to chop me down. Anyways, good lines.

So you just reminded me of that. So this is good. I like, I'll give it like A minus. It's not like superstar level. but I like the kind of awkward pun. I like the way that it's specific to her. I echo that sentiment. Yeah, I think you're spot on there, A-minus, pretty good.

I don't hold grudges. I send them to voicemail. Oh, ho. Oh. I'm actually not sure. I'm actually not sure I completely understand this one to be to be honest. I don't hold grudges. I send me sort of like the grudges somebody calling you and you're saying I'm not going to hold you by picking up.

Picking up would be holding the grudge and by sending it to voicemail. I am choosing not to touch it. The grudge, which is you calling. You are the grudge or your message is the grudge, which I would be holding if. it came through the receiver into my ear in real time rather than afterwards. I feel like I'm on the boundaries of understanding it, but I haven't yet gained entrance to the kingdom. I think it's a play on hold.

Like, I don't put grudges on hold. There's the master key that I was missing. I knew there was a handle I was failing to grasp. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, you know what? Yeah, good. Yeah, yeah.

I do feel very stupid right now. Thanks, Craig. So this is pretty good. I'll give this also a minus. This is a pretty good one. Yeah, I like this. The pun is like unexpected. Holding grudges is not like you're approaching that term from an unexpected angle,

using the word hold in two different ways. That's pretty good stuff, actually. That's good. I like that. I would say that this is, so we've done, we've done, Rachel Teresa Jen Aiden We've had their lines already

Margaret We've had her line Yeah Yeah So it's getting narrowed down It's probably not It could be Melissa Yeah, I'll say Melissa

That could be her, yeah No, that one's chat GPT actually So What? No Yeah Fuck you Okay. Here's a real one. It's hard not to burn bridges when you're on fire.

That's good. This is good. I like this one. This is dynamic. The way that like you twist from burning bridges, which is a dramatic image to an unexpected image, which is even more dramatic of the person being on fire. And the way fire is, both negative and positive at the same time. This has got energy. This has got it. This is the juice. This is a saucy tagline. So, yeah, I'm giving it an A. Down the middle, straight down the middle, A.

And you know, I'm a hard grader here. Let's, I'm, I've said her three times, I think, but I'm going to say Melissa again. You're right. It is Melissa. Yeah. And this is an A, maybe even A plus tagline. Yeah. This is getting into A-plus territory.

This is good stuff. Yeah, skirting on it. I'm bougie, unbothered, and above your drama. Danielle, right away. She loves the word boogie. It's not very good, though. Bougy, unbothered and above your drama. Yeah, you're just, you're listening things.

Where's the pun? Where's the play on words? This is an unexpected twist in the second half. Yeah, it's a D for me too. it's it's uh there's nothing happening yeah so finally we got dolores she's the last one left i'm a girl from patterson playing switzerland dating an irish man i mean again you're kind of just describing things like it's not yeah right it's like there's not a play on words there um unless patterson and switzerland are supposed to kind of

rhyme and Irish they're not really there I guess they're like you could you can make a case that it's a pseudo rhyme like they both have like two syllables with uh no Patterson Switzerland Irishman three syllables I'm good at counting yeah um but it's not really a rhyme it's okay it's it's C minus it's better than Daniel's you're trying to play with geography here like yeah city a country and then a little like a person from a place yeah I this one is like kind of awkward it could have used some workshopping I think and it maybe would have been like a B plus but yeah this is this is a B minus for me this one for me for me I'm C minus on this it's this one's all over the map there we go okay let's let's dive right into a summary of this episode, Tim, do you want to, like, tell us what's going on here?

No. I know there was a, again, a loaded drama. It's the first episode back. There's characters who are fighting. There's a divorce. There's a child going off to college. There's a dog peeing on the carpet. I watched this episode, and I got to admit, I was quite,

I had indulged in some legal cannabis. And so I watched this one last night. And so I was reading this vulture recap this morning. And there's something that I missed. I think it's probably of no, I'm sure it's on the outlawry to get to it. Antonio Gorgia? Gorgia, yeah.

Gorga preparing for a freshman year at university of Delaware and she hasn't even started doing anything other than watching her dog pee on the curtains. And she's packing 52 pairs of blue jeans. 52 pairs of blue jeans to go off to college. You need one every week of the year. I know that. Everyone knows that. But it begs the question, how many blue jeans did you guys take to college?

So anyways, that's my recap. Okay, that's pretty good. Dylan, want to talk about the presentation of this episode? Yeah, I'm not sure much really stood out for me in terms of like the aesthetic presentation, other than it had a killer opening montage, which is what we expect. And that was a lot of fun. Otherwise, it was a pretty straightforward first episode. We take our turns going through different family dynamics,

this family, that family, that family, before we get a confrontation in the end. So, like, aesthetically, there was, it wasn't really blowing my mind or anything. And in terms of what's going on in the episode, well, it's the first episode. So, you know, we got to kind of wait and see. I think what jumps out at me most in the episode

is just how agro-o-zempic John Fuda is. like he's it he seems like a whole different person from what we what we saw in and last season right when we got to know john futa he was like he seemed like a cuddly teddy bear in the first season and now i don't yeah i like i don't know what they're what they're putting in his ozempic that makes him so angry but he is like becoming like his gangsterish like presence in the show which i'm here for testosterone as well as ozepic maybe yeah he's pumping tea you guys are on how much rosemphic do you guys take every day a little bit of my with a coffee in the morning yeah i micrudeau say yes yeah yeah yeah uh but yeah dylan you were you were mentioning like

the aesthetic presentation on this and i think you're right the most striking thing was the intro that we got i love the like shot of the statue-esque dolores with everything around her in shambles, like shattered glass around her and then we watched the letterboxing kind of close in slowly on everything. I just thought that that was really striking.

I feel like we got a pretty strong theme of transition here through this episode. We're seeing Marge actually start grieving the loss of her ex-husband. We're seeing both Melissa and Teresa transitioning

one of their daughters to college. We're seeing Jen Fessler's birthday party. We're hearing about Frank Frank's senior's house. The one person that we're not really seeing much of a transition with is

Dolores. We're seeing her kind of stuck. And when the idea of marriage comes up later in the episode, we're seeing her kind of feel a little frustrated and stuck at the because Paul

isn't divorced and there's like no movement on that. So I'm going to be interested to see how this evolves throughout the season, whether, you know, this is a source of frustration as she's seeing everyone else's life kind of evolve and what that means for her as a character. Yeah, it's funny to be how when Louis's like, what are you guys going to get married? Where are you going to pop the question? And Delarce is like, come on, that's not fair. He has to get divorced first. And like, yeah, that's, you're not helping the situation by pointing out that he's been apparently separated from his wife for years and still hasn't gotten divorced. Like that's, yeah, like 10 years.

That's a little weird. That's a little weird. Yeah. But I think that this goes back to something that we had mentioned last week about how these women are able to use the camera as like a tool and a piece of leverage within their relationships. Like having this conversation get forced on camera and her being able to, like, like say this in front of the camera, it puts an additional pressure on Polly. And Dolores has so much more experience using the camera to her advantage than Polly does. So this seemed like a very like calculated move that we have seen, you know, on a lot of occasions.

Why do you think Polly can't eat Italian food without like shitting himself apparently? That's the weirdest stomach ale that I've ever heard. Is he just so Irish, he can only digest like boiled cabbage and nothing else. Sardines and boiled cabbage. So lucky charm cereal. Tim, do you have a favorite quote from this episode? Because I watched this one last night.

I don't have one line that sticks out in my head. To me, like, most of this episode, it felt like there was a lot of, I mean, obviously, there was a lot of talking, but there was a lot of shots of upset people, it seemed. Yeah, I think there was, like, a lot of foundation work here. Yeah, a lot of setting up. There's one line that I really liked, which is when Polly says, like, if you're going to call a spade a spade, you've got to start calling a spade a spade like, okay?

Yeah, I get it, man. Totology's a totology, right? What a meaningless thing to say. Well, the sun's going to sit somewhere today. And when it does, you'll know the sunset. Darkness will no longer be dark if there's light. All right, let's dive into our highlights. Tim, we'll start with you.

What were your highlights here? Again, really just kind of focusing on the gene thing. It was like, I mean, Craig, you have kids. Have you thought about what it's going to be like when you send them off to military school. But a moment like that is so tender, just the separation of, like that,

the real forcing of that next step in your life to have that be played for a television audience. It's just, it's kind of nuanced and, I don't know, interesting. Yeah, totally.

Dylan, how about you? What were your highlights here? That we have Kazi and Mazzie back, even though we don't really get to see much of them. But those two delightful, bizarre, Dr. Seas characters are the best. But yeah. Cassie and Masi. Yeah. So good. Yeah. Otherwise, I mean, the big dramatic highlight is, you know, food and, and, and, and Louis kind of getting at it and Polly.

I mean, you know, the way that that food has becoming, like I said, this kind of like very gangsterish presence on the show, which I think is a side of whom we saw in like the reunion last year, which I didn't even like know that was like what this guy was like. And then now it seems like this season we're going to see like real like

gangster John Fuda, breaking out. And the fact that he gets into it with Polly. and then you have Louis kind of hovering around doing his evil Joker laugh is pretty entertaining. Yeah. I enjoyed this episode just as it felt a very like foundational Housewives episode. Like getting back to like core gameplay. There was not a whole lot in terms of how like it wasn't a very artful presentation this this episode. but there was a lot going on in terms of like the social aspect of trying to like play play the social game. I like that we got insight into this kind of meeting of the minds that happens behind the scenes prior to the reunions.

This got like called out through the story and through the edit that, you know, this is something that happens. Dolores is not phased at this information that there was a meeting in order to come up with a plan of attack. I thought that when we saw this confrontation between Polly and Fuda at the Jen Fessler's party, I thought that we saw, you know, Joe Gorga, who is, you know, a complete meathead and dunce, but he does know how to like play the game. We saw him actually trying to diffuse this because, you know, Fuda does not have. near the experience that Joe Gorga does, but I thought it was smart for Joe to try to diffuse this conflict because Dolores sits in the middle of this war.

And by having this conflict between John Fuda and Polly potentially evolve into this thing, that forces Dolores onto the opposite side of Melissa's camp with Rachel and John. So I think that he saw this as something that could potentially be bad. And he was trying to diffuse that situation so that, you know, at the very least, it doesn't force Dolores more onto the other side and kind of build up the numbers on that side and kind of keeps things in check. I thought that was just a really interesting bit of strategy there. Yeah, absolutely. Also, Charisa seems to be ready to fly off the handle. She seems absolutely riled up going into the season.

So that'll be fun to see where that takes her and takes us. Yeah, totally. What do you think about this idea of whether this confrontation between Fuda and Louie should have happened at the party or should it have happened at like a cafe? Hmm. Yeah. I mean, it's more entertaining to have it happen.

and at a party, then there's more possibility for other people like Joe and Teresa to like get their their pause in there. Yeah. So I mean, I think John does kind of have a point though where he's like, you know, if I don't like respect you, why would I like say like let's go hang out and talk it over? You disrespect. Doesn't he make that point? I think he says something. You disrespected my family. Yeah. So he's like, why would I give you that? Why should I show you the respect. There you go. Why would I give you that like honor and privilege of sitting down with me at a special date for a special one-on-one encounter? Like you don't deserve that. If he is like that wild up about it, that kind of makes sense. That's a point that makes sense. Sure. Yeah. I don't know. As it personally, if I was in that scenario, I would want to have a little one-on-one. But if I had TVs around, then cameras around. I mean, I have a TV. Don't worry. I've got more TVs than I know what to do with. Ever since my sports bar closed down, I have mostly TVs.

But yeah, I don't know. They could have done a little one-on-one at the party, you know, a little like sneaky camera picking it up. They're them, you know. Sure, but that never works because other people see the cameras pointed at them and then they wanted to get their mitts in there and they walk over and be like, what's going on?

Right. Yeah. It was going to be here. I thought it was interesting that, you know, there is a little bit of a maintained separation between the guy drama

and the women drama on this show. Like, we saw this argument that happened at the party. Dolores just stood there like a few feet. away just watching it

happen and waiting to step in until you know, uh, it was absolutely necessary. I, I think that Jersey is really interesting in that respect that there is this like secondary playing field for all this, um, you know, social, the social game to, to happen on. It's not just the, the, the women that can move the ball. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, okay, let's, uh, let's get into

are stars. Who are your stars here, Tim? I think I'm going to give it to Teresa the shit Disturber. Stir in pots, keep it interesting. You know, you love a good line where they say they don't want to talk about this here, but then they talk about it with

the hiring of the private investigator. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dylan, how would you? You know, let's give a first start to John Fuda for making such an impact out of the gate show from the top of the season. His beard is carved in a way that's a little bit

less distractingly horrifying than what it was in the previous season. So he's making some improvements on that. A little glow up for John. Yeah. One thing I love about New Jersey is just the way that people look because they all have skin and hair that are colors that I've never seen on humans before. Yeah.

It's like watching the same. since. Yeah, just like, just like looking at Rachel Fuda. I'm like, I never would have thought that I would see like a color black on somebody's hair that I've never seen in the world before. And I feel like somehow she's found a black dye for her hair that's like a unique black. That could be like studied by scientists. I don't know why her hair looks like that. Um, so yeah, Fuda number one, uh, John, uh, um, even though I think he's a repulsive dude, but, you know, let's let's see more of him being weirdly agro. Let's give Teresa number two

for making a sound. I've never heard before. Third starts on the Messler because it's her night. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's, yeah, your party.

You slept with Gandalfini. Flags will fly forever. You're always going to be able to have that. You'll always have that. I think. I think my star is going to be, I think Dolores, I think we're seeing her kind of evolve as this center. What do they hold in the opening for New Jersey? I think it's a hip.

I think they just hold their hips. But anyways, the center past a holder in this show because the fan base is so divided. we can't, you know, keep putting Teresa in the middle. So I think that we're kind of seeing, I think this is going to be Dolores' season, to be honest. Yeah. And yeah, I think I would give a star to Fuda because he was really fired up and making things happen.

And, you know, Teresa for giving the cameras what she always brings. She always brings it. And even, I think the most, like, staunch Melissa's supporter has to give it to her that she is always willing to, like, put it out there. Maybe that's not true. We're going to get like zero star ratings because I just said that, but whatever. It's true. Was Teresa's line the one about Burning Bridges because I'm on fire? No, that was Melissa.

Oh, okay, it was Melissa. Okay. Well, props to Melissa for that line. That was a good one. Melissa is like a fantastic housewife. Like I'm not saying, like you don't have to pick one or the other. No, you don't. Like one of those memes, the galaxy brain memes, where it's like, start small.

If you're just a Melissa supporter, then a bit bigger of a brain if you're just a Teresa supporter. And then Galaxy Brain is being a supporter of both. Yeah. And then there's a next step where you're just. just like a disincarnated figure floating in the galaxy. You're a Louis supporter. Oh, okay. Louis is good too, yeah.

Kazia, you got to. That's the final stage. Just just watching the show for appearances of Kazia and Mazze. Yeah, I think that about does it. Tim, thank you for doing this. Do you want to let everyone know where they can find you? Oh yeah, at Tim Gray Rules with his Ed, Tim Gray, G-R-A-Y.

On Instagram is where I'm most active. I have a quick question for you guys. You don't even have to answer this now, but maybe you can think about it and discuss on a future episode, is if they were to make a Real Housewives video game, which franchise would you want it to the first edition to be from, and which character would you play the storyline through first? Oh, what would this game be like, I think, as a...

Probably Vanderpump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would it be like a Grand Theft Auto kind of game where it's like you're just like running through the town and like... Yeah, there are storylines that you can follow. Yeah, but you can pick up a mission, you know... Yeah, you can go and work for the Oppenheimer group. To his side missions for other reality shows.

I think every series would have its own different. genre. Like, Jersey would be just like a smash bros type game where you choose your character and you just beat the shit out of someone else. That's why I gravitated to Jersey right away. I mean, it's recently biased, which is just what we're talking about. But it does seem like Craig said, have to have the most potential to be like aggressive and destructive and violent. Your special weapon is a double-headed dildo. Did you guys see that? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. How could you miss it? Okay. How did you miss it? Dylan, do you want to let everyone know where they can find you? Yeah, you know what? Let me wrap something I haven't promoted in a while, but since we're talking about New Jersey, you should listen to my four-episode limited edition podcast.

It's a devil you don't because it's about the history of New Jersey and cryptosulogy. and the creation of the United States. And there's even a brief Melissa Gorga reference in there. So there's a tiny, tiny crossover. The Venn diagram of this show and that show has a couple pixels overlap. Yeah. Oh, when does this come out again? Sorry. Last year.

Sorry, this episode that we're recording now. Oh, it'll come up tomorrow. Oh, okay. I'm going on tour with Chad Anderson. very funny comedian. We're going to be in Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and Alberta for the next two weeks.

Regina Saskatoon, Redmondton, Grand Prairie, Austria, etc. So look on your Instagram for dates? Yeah, yeah, Zellers.Biz. You can go to Zellers.biz

for all the dates and tickets. That's a real website. I'm not joking. Amazing. I think our Canadian audience will appreciate that. But our audience skews American, so they have no idea what Tellers is.

Right. Tellers was the killer Canada's target. Yeah. It's a long dead. It's okay. You don't need to explain it. It's not what people are here for. No, I should just shut up.

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