Breaking News from Pod Save America - This New South Park is BRUTAL For Pete Hegseth and Trump Admin

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

Jon Favreau, Tommy Vietor and Jon Lovett react to the new South Park ripping Donald Trump, Pete Hegseth and Kristi Noem. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Bad advice. You talking to me? Kayak, got that right. All right, my friends, this season of South Park continues to go hard at Donald Trump in the Trump administration, and one Trump administration goon in particular was the focus of this most recent Thanksgiving episode. Here's our turkey. Pete Hell of Parking is. That, of course, was Secretary of War Pete Hegseth, but we'll back up a little bit.

So the episode starts with the South Park community trying to figure out how to pay for this year's Thanksgiving Turkey. Trot. This was a Thanksgiving episode. Like I said, I guess the race lost a big sponsor when Randy Marsh's marijuana farm went out of business. I think we talked about the marijuana farm. We did. We did. We did. Episode. But then someone has this genius idea. Well, of course, there is someone who'd be willing to give South Park a bunch of money. I mean, they're giving money to everyone else. Why not us? My God. That's it.

This Thanksgiving morning Lace up for holiday fun and tradition It's the 28th annual South Park Turkey Trot Sponsored by Saudi Arabia I really didn't know

Who was going to be It's a 5K race Absolutely stuffed with Thanksgiving condition The first one across the finish line wins their team $5,000 Oh my god Sign up your team now.

All ages are welcome. Disparaging remarks towards the Saudi royal family are strictly for the gift. Start your Thanksgiving with this time-honored tradition. This town park turkey trots. That's good. It's like a pretty clear reference to the Riyadh Comedy Festival happened a couple weeks ago with some of the biggest names of comedy. It's just an incredible video that they put together there. It's incredible.

Incredible. It's also it does, it does remind that there was a time when South Park was, you know,

attacked from the left for being, you know. Do you think that was insensitive? To somebody. Yeah. To somebody. For sure.

Get ready for more of that. Yeah, no, the Riyadh Comedy Festival featured names like Kevin Hart, Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle,

Aziz Ansari, Pete Davidson, many, many, many, many more. Panla, big checks. Okay, so as you guys saw,

the winner the turkey truck gets $5,000. The stakes are very high this year. Everyone in South Park is looking for an edge. As longtime South Park viewers know, Cartman's character is supposed to be the worst person in the world, just for context here.

He's a psycho, he's an anti-Semite, he's a racist. And to that end, love it, Cartman decides that the way his team is going to win the turkey trot is by forcing their black friend token to join them because he's faster. Back to the uncomfortable attacks from the left. That does become important later. So, again, as our loyal South Park recap viewers know,

Venture capitalist ghoul Peter Thiel is currently in prison in South Park. Last episode, the South Park police were convinced by some SORA AI videos that Peter Thiel is part of a child sex abuse scandal run by the studio Ghibli character, Totoro, which we all got very much attacked in the comments. You did. You didn't know who Totero was. I know what Totero was. I'm not a Toto Bro, but I know what Totoero was. John and I really got savage and I knowing more about the studio Ghibli. Yeah, you're right.

Sorry, I don't know all culture. Sorry, comments. Comment if you give a fuck. Why don't you spirit-o-why-do-why-you-get-your-you-get-hey-you-get-old, hey commentator, why don't you get spirited away to some fucking friends? Okay. So, Donald Trump, President Donald Trump, once Peter Thiel released, because he believes that Peter Thiel is the key to getting Satan, who is Trump's boyfriend, as we all know, an abortion. Satan is pregnant with Trump's demonic butt baby.

And remember Trump has a teeny tiny penis. Of course. It doesn't come into play as much this episode, but it's important to know. You know. So Trump puts his top guy on the case. Let's watch. The White House is calling again. They're demanding we release the prisoner.

Tell him we're busy. But they said if we don't comply, they're going to send in Pete Hegsteth and the Department of War. Pete Hegsett. Yeah. Hey, what's up, guys? This Pete Heggst at the Department of War. We're here to infiltrate this police station and extract the P-O-I, because that's what we do.

Prison of the United States orders you to release custody of the prisoner to me immediately. We have a big turkey trot to deal with, so it's going to be a few days. Hey, man, I don't think you understand. You're messing with the Department of War. And we mean business. We don't stand down for anyone. Be sure to like and subscribe. All right, let's do this.

How about you just push the secret button in the floor over here, and the jail cell doors will all open. The secret button? Yeah, it's in the floor right there. You see it? It's right. I dare you to do that again. So good. You guys catch the selfie stick in a minute?

Yes. And both troops at the door were armed with phones instead of their guns. Yeah, they've got to film everything. Like and subscribe. Thoughts on Pete so far? I feel like they're capturing something of the essence of the Pete Hegseth War Department leadership style. Very Fox News-oriented. Again, exquisite timing, because obviously Hegset's been in the news,

but this episode was before the story about the possible war crime. Yeah, very much ahead of that. But also, Pete Hexath, I guess he spent most of his time just doing exercises with the troops, and that's kind of what he's known for otherwise. So, okay, the episode continues. We learned that basically the whole town is entering the turkey truck because there's so much money at stake. That includes a family that runs CitiWalk, whose business has been crushed by terror. We learned that in a previous episode.

A bunch of girls from South Park Elementary are also entering, and Cartman is once again upset because he learned that they too have a black teammate. Again, racist and that will matter later. But meanwhile, in Washington, Trump does not seem very confident that Pete Heggseth can get this job done. Let's watch. Oh, yeah, look at that.

That's the President of the United States calling me right now. Yes, Mr. President. Action! What the fuck is doing? Did you get Peter Thiel? No, sir, we were unable to extract the prisoner. We were met with resistance from the local police force. God damn it, we gave you one job to do.

We need Peter Till here at the White House. Sir, yes, sir. I'm going to need the full might of the Department of War. I'll need all our tanks and guns and deeds. Then you've got it. Just get us the prisoner no matter what it takes. Hell yeah. And headshot, don't just make a bunch of content.

I actually go. I'm not subscribe guys Yes sir Mr. President I will make this town pay It's Trump is not like a He's not a character

That they're making fun of how he talks No You know It's like and so you It's more about the other people around him And like it's really smart It just is really smart That it's like the jokes about Trump

Aren't like about aesthetics at all Except just teeny tiny penis Right but the teeny tiny penis It's bigger than that Yeah In a sense. I was going to say. In a sense.

But like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, hegg set that's sort of, just, like, just, deeply insecure, unqualified guy, like, doing it all for, everything else in South Park. Token actually has ethical problems with Saudi Arabia being the sponsor. Cool. Cartman goes to Token's house to confront him, and then this happens. The guy said you're not going to race because it's being sponsored by Saudi Arabia. Yeah, it just doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel right.

Yeah, it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel right. What, Toki, you don't like that Saudi Arabia is buying American stuff? You're trying to be progressive, okay? You want them to go back to what they were doing? Do you want Saudi Arabia just go back to cutting people up and paying Kevin Hart? Is that what you want? I can't see the screen.

Tolkien, you can't whine about a country trying to come into the 21st century. Wanting to help pay for American Saints is good because guess what if Saudi Arabia is out paying for sporting events They're not out hacking up report He Davidson to come to country Davidon's father was famously killed in the 9-11 attacks Yeah, wow you know I had a yeah man I had a thought about that yeah I had a thought about that one What I really liked about that scene is that Token is not like moralizing about why he doesn't want to do the thing he's just like I just don't feel right doing it I don't want to do it

it and then he and then carman is making like the case that you hear yep yep yeah it's a pretty fair reading of that did you guys see uh zway interviewed kevin hart and asked about this no no my god so she goes you sold 500 like so she sets it up like this she's like you sold 500 million tickets how much money is enough and he like laughs and does this bullshit answer about how like money is not the reward and she goes speaking of which how is riyadh this time of year It was really good What did he say? What did he say? You like tried to laugh it off

And then later on she says As a comedian Would you do an ad for hell If the devil paid well He didn't like that She goes what? It was a bar It's really good

It's really also It's good Man what do you think It's a funny thing to sit down Was you about on that one Yeah Yeah Yeah you're

That's not going to end well for you Okay So Hagseth has been monitoring The Situation at South Bar He's like watching The Turkey Troters Gather And he has decided That what he's witnessing

is actually an Antifa insurrection that must be put down. And so here's what happens when the turkey trot starting gun goes off. Shit, shots fired, shots fired! Get set up over there. We need content now! What's up guys, Pete Hegstad Department of War? We are being fired upon. There's an uprising here, some kind of insurrection.

You should have like to subscribe. You can hear the liberal terrorists all screaming and chanting behind us. We're going to take them all. Just another day in the Department of War. We need content now. I feel like that should be Elijah's ringtone. Yeah, it is Elijah's actually in the room for all those Elijah stands out there. Yeah, I do love that they're making fun of Hagseth for being like a preening social media idiot.

And I do think it's, it gets at his essence. But he's still not the worst in the administration in my book. I still, I think, would put a few others ahead of him. He's climbing up the ranks in these last couple weeks, I think, for me. Yeah. he is just not up for it. No, not at all. There was all these stories, like a cash...

There's story about Cash Rattel and not leaving the plane until he was giving an FBI jacket. And so they made, like, one of the female agents take off her jacket and give it to him. And they had plenty of X-Ls and larges. And he was like, absolutely not. It has to be a medium. It has to be a medium. Also, he needed a small, let's be honest. And nothing wrong with needing a small jacket.

Same. Same right here. But, like, there is something protective about the fact that he's such a fucking doofus, you know? Yeah, I agree. Okay, so Cartman decides that the only way he can get Token to run the race is by ripping his Xbox out of the wall and then running with it along the race course as Token follows him. Unfortunately, Cartman realizes that Token was not lying when he said he wasn't fast, which debunks Karpman's race science, which he actually got interviewed in the local news about, which is obviously intended to mean both racism and also the science of how you win a turkey trot. Race science. Race science.

How you win. Meanwhile, Hegsef gets a visit from a colleague. The rioting terrorists appear to be advancing north-northeast. Our plan, gentlemen, is to intercept them at this location here. And get as much content as we possibly can. It's quite possible. We'll also be needing to get content in this area. So be ready.

Third Battalion, you'll be posting up here. Twitter. Alpha team post here. Bravo team content there. All right everyone. Stand by. At ease, soldier. We heard there's a civilian uprising. Yeah, we don't need Homeland Security's help. We got it. We're just here to assist in any way we can. That's what Homeland Security does. Be sure to like and subscribe guys. We've got it. Oh, no, no, no, no. This is not your content. Everyone like and subscribe to the department. Perfect. Good old-fashioned turf war, boys. The other, with the other big content. She's my number one.

She's your number one? In terms of just, in terms of just being a social media preening jackass. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I will say overseeing some of the most destructive stuff. It's a tough guy. No, because then you got to say, well, Rubio and USAID, right? Like, he's now. Oh, for destructive.

Yeah. For destructive. Social media preening, though, it's her and Heggs. I think Patel. Patel's up there. It's both. She did do a TikTok in front of the Sukot prisoners. You're right, with the Rolex on.

That's right. She had the rocks in those pictures. She had the... That's bad. Anyway, we got a turf war brewing between the Department of War and Ice. 60,000 dollar watching. She's like, we're going to take these to fight to the fucking enemy right on the way past the Tiffany's.

They're trying to put down the South Park in Tief Incerction. You know what? Here's Christy Nome again. Homeland Security to Department of War. The protesters are headed your way. Stand down, Homeland Security. This is our... content there's too many of them oh here they come everyone hold your positions department of war will not be intimidated oh hey you feeling hungry run the denny's four the new it's everyday value

you slam part of Denny's slamming Neil deals and see the new Masters of the Universe movie only in

theaters June 5th we'll probably have to blur it in some way so in case you guys couldn't tell Christy Noam

does murder a dog not her first this season she scans the crowd sees all the people find the dog waxes it

with like four boys I went back and read the part where she kills the dog in the book

it is fucking crazy She's like out of it. She's like, I was just psych. No need for embellishment on that story. It's wild. It was awful.

Okay, so as we preview to the top, Trey Parker and Matt Stone wrote an entire song about Pete Heggseth for this episode, which they set to a sick kind of action montage from the 80s. Let's watch. Pete Hexed is a fucking dish. Be is a fucking dish. Just like a tough guy posting it around the world. Making lots of content like a little teenage girl. It's part of... Deep access, a fucking deep.

The fucking teeth. I really do. I like... I like to think, and maybe this is, like, just a fantasy. Like, I genuinely think, whatever they post, whether they're going to criticize it publicly or not, I do think this is the kind of thing that would bother him personally.

Oh, I think they are coming up with ways of making fun of people that would get to them. This will go out. Love, there's a line that they play it over the credits and there's a line that's like, his kids are going to see this. Look, if I was someone who was going to maybe attend a congressional hearing that Pete Higgseth was testifying at and I was just sit in the gallery, I may bring just a little audio thing. Yeah. You can show it to him and get him to react to it.

Sir, what do you think of the song, you're a fucking dude? Wow. Just an idea. That's a great idea. If anyone who's going to be there. That's all I love how everyone he's beating up is wearing like a turkey trot outfit. There was one guy in like a turkey suit. You know those ones that kind of inflate in front of you and it looks like your legs are the turkey legs.

I know this like them firing like tear gas at a crowd of people who are just jogging is spot on. I was going to say there's no again no embellishment there really. Yeah. Are you guys turkey, turkey trot families? No, no. No, that is a time to sit around. and eat. Yeah, sit around.

Not trot. A lot of food. Not doing it. Okay, so all the racers who you saw there were tear gas. They like kind of run for cover in various stores. They try to figure out the best way to get to the finish line without getting attacked again by the U.S. military or ice. As this is happening, we see Token find Cartman and then tackle him to get his Xbox back. And then Token yells a carm and he calls him a racist.

He says, look, I'm not going to finish the race. I'm going home. You're an asshole. I don't want to be a part of this. And then we watch Token slowly back into the finish line. and accidentally win the race. So here's the victory ceremony. On behalf of the kingdom of Saudi Arabia

and his royal highness, Mohammed bin Salman al-Sud, this year's Turkey Trot Grand Prize goes to the team of South Park's very own token black. We did it, dude. Wow. There we go. Amazing.

And then finally, the episode ends with us kind of learning the fate of Mr. Peter Thiel. It's right there. You see it? It's right there. There you go. Almost there. All right, guys, that about wraps it up.

Let's get home and eat some turkey. You son of a bitch, the president will come for us. Yeah, maybe so. Judge will see you Monday. South Park's going to pay for this. They're all going to pay. There you go. So they finally set up why the White House

and the government's going to descend on South Park. Trump is coming to. South Park? Yeah. To set it felt it from the beat. It's coming to South Park. That telos-style cliffhanger right there.

Yeah. Like and subscribe. A high compliment. Like it subscribe. Like it subscribe. You're like God. Follow me on subject. That preening Pete Higgs at always looking to make content and go after

subscribers. Anyway. Like and subscribe to this fucking channel. We want the algorithm to feed you us. Yeah. We want to beat Benj Piro. and others yeah so actually we really mean it please yeah we're gonna be yeah definitely like to subscribe we're just seriously you know you know