Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: A Knife In The Back

Episode Date: September 5, 2018

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A milkshake that's been laced with Viagra My mom would do that to me all the time, annoying Well, one of our listeners had his date completely ruined by an extremely unfortunate experience. In fact, it almost cost him his life. You'll find out what happened in your second date update right now. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal's second date update. Whenever you meet somebody online and you go out on a date with them, there's always a little part of you that has to fear for your life. A little bit. What?

Because you don't really know them that well. Why are you fearing who you're dating? Because you're meeting people on the internet. Well, alright. Exactly. Okay, I'll give it to you on that one. Steve, who's on the phone today for a second date update, legit had to fear for his life on his first date though. It's a crazy story

and he'll tell us in just a second. What's up, Steve? How are you? Hey, guys. How's it going? Oh, I'm just glad you're alive to tell us the story, it sounds like. Yeah, you and me both. Oh, my gosh. Before we get into the craziness that you described in your email, tell us a little bit about the girl you want to call today.

What's her name? Her name's Cecilia. Cecilia, all right. And where did you meet Cecilia? I met her on Tinder. All right. And where did you meet Cecilia? I met her on Tinder. All right. And was there any red flags from the beginning that things would get a little out of hand with her?

I mean, I'll tell you, the biggest thing was like, you know, every once in a while you see somebody where you're just like, there's no way this girl would be interested in me, but I'll try it anyway. And you don't expect to get like a swipe back. Totally. But she did. Okay. So that either means she thought you were equally attractive or it means that she's nuts and no one else will date back. Totally. But she did. Okay. So that either means she thought you were equally attractive

or it means that she's nuts and no one else will date her. Right. Either one of those could apply. You never know. How long had you guys talked before you actually went out? We didn't talk long before I took a chance and asked her out because I'm like, this girl is not going to stay alone for very long. I've got to take a chance when I get it.

Okay. My whole thinking is like, I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I know my personality is good. If I can just meet him once, I usually can win him over. I feel you on that one. I feel like I'm a slow burn. Yeah. Women will give you more of a chance based on things other than looks than guys.

Yeah. That's a nice part about being a dude is you can be a troll. As long as you're kind of funny, you can get dates with very, very attractive women. Yeah, exactly. So what'd you guys do when you went out? We went to an outdoor concert. That's a great first date. Oh, it was awesome.

She was just as hot as she was in her pictures, but she was also really sweet. Oh, that's great. So she had a beautiful personality. Oh my God, it was amazing. But you know how those outdoor concerts are. If you stand back far enough, you can hear the music, but then you can still talk to each other. Yeah, that's always nice. Because if you go to a concert or a club or something like that, a lot of times you can't even really talk.

You can kind of hear what they're saying, and then you throw out an answer that you think is on topic. But really, both of you have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah, and the next thing you know, you're wearing a pirate shirt. Right. I just don't understand how you went to an outdoor concert and you almost died. Yeah. So the whole night was going really well. It was really intense, but then it kind of became, what I like to say, unexpected

because I was like, do you want to get away from this and go for a walk and go to a bar or something like that? Because at this point, things are going so well. I'm like, I've got to try and get know, as far away from other people as possible. Wait, hold on. I don't understand why you want to take her far away from people. Well, I mean, at this point I was thinking about maybe trying to steal a kiss or something.

Oh, okay. There you go. You wanted to make out. Just a little more privacy. Yeah, I mean, it sounded like you were going to put her in the trunk of a car the way you described it, so I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. No, that's a second date thing.

And what happened next? So, like, we walk away from the park and we start coming to this really dark area, like, right at the edge of the park. The sun's going down a little bit and there's, like, bridges and stuff there. So we start walking through there. All of a sudden, this dude jumps out with a knife. With a knife? Oh, my gosh. Yeah, he's got a knife. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, he's got a knife.

Oh, my gosh. And you ran and left her there to deal with it. I'm guessing. Pushed her down. Well, here's the thing. I have done some self-defense courses. Okay. So, like, I just sort of jumped into, like, protection mode.

Really? And I jumped in front of Cecilia, and I told her to get out of there, and she did. And then, like, I know this is going to sound, it's going to be tough to believe, but me and this guy, we fought. Wait, you battled a dude in the park with a knife? Yeah. Don't you think the better idea would be to run? Why are you fighting dudes with knives? He's trained.

I mean, look, if anything's going to impress this girl, it's going to be jumping in front of a guy with a knife. That's true. Yeah, you saved her life by beating up a dude that jumped out of the bushes with a knife. I think that would score you a second date. And you can't be honestly still thinking about the date when a guy with a knife is in front of you. Yeah. No, honestly, it was just kind of instinct. That's cool, man.

So what happened in the fight? He dropped the knife. I got cut a little bit, but nothing more than superficial. But eventually, I guess he just thought it wasn't worth it anymore because I got the knife out of his hand. It fell and then he ran away. Okay. And did you meet up with her after that? Well, I turned around, obviously she was gone and it, it would have been a couple of minutes. So she was probably far down the road. And then all of a sudden she texted me and asked if I was okay. I said, yeah. And then I said, well, Hey, why don't we meet at like Starbucks in 20 minutes?

So I went to Starbucks, cleaned myself up a little bit, and she never showed up. And I've been texting her ever since and not getting a reply. She hasn't replied at all? Not at all. You saved her life pretty much. I know. Hold on. Why do you want to call a girl that won't call you back after that incident?

Like you always hear that those things bring people closer together. Yeah, you would say, my first thought is maybe she was just freaked out. I'm, like, really shaken up by it, and I don't know, I don't want to be, like, traumatizing her or anything by reminding her, but also, like, I want to make sure that she's all right, and honestly, I want to go out again. Yeah, it could have just been a super scary thing for her, and, like, now she just doesn't want to call you back because she just has a bad memory associated with it or something. Oh, yeah. Right.

I don't know, man. I think she's a woman that just left you in the woods with a guy with a knife and then sent you a text to check on you. Well, to be fair, I told her to leave. Yeah, you did say you'd protect her and it sounds like you did. It's just weird that she wouldn't at least answer any more of your texts. Like even just to talk to you a little bit. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah. So she hasn't answered you at all since asking you if you're okay.

No, and that's why I want to do this second date update thing. I want to try and get her on the phone and see what's going on. Okay, cool. Well, then we'll play a song, come back, and call her and get your second date update, okay? Awesome. Thank you, guys. All right, hang on. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Second date update. Awesome, thank you guys Alright, hang on When you think of superheroes

You think of Superman Batman Steve That's right If you missed the first part of today's Second Date Update Steve is on the phone with us And he wants to call a girl named Cecilia They met on Tinder

They went to an outdoor concert and as they were leaving the concert some dude jumped out at them with a knife steve then told her to run and ended up fighting the guy off but the problem is he never saw cecilia again yeah after that she texted to see if he was okay he said yeah and let's meet at a starbucks she never showed up to the starbucks and now she won't answer any of his texts or phone calls. So we don't really know what's going on. And we're about to call her right now and see if we can get the answer. Steve, are you ready to go?

Yeah, man, I'm ready. Of course, you're always ready. Steve, I mean, have you thought, like, she did text you to check in to make sure that you were okay, right? Yeah. Maybe she didn't really enjoy the date prior to the knife fight. I mean, she seemed like she was. I mean, I think I'm pretty good at figuring that kind of stuff out.

So it'd be a surprise if she wasn't enjoying herself. Okay, it'd be more surprising than the guy with the knife. I mean, maybe not more surprising than that. I'd be mad if that's the best part of her date. She's like, yeah, it was pretty boring. There was one exciting part, but I just don't feel like calling him back. It's not going to get any better than that.

Yeah. All right. Well, I'm going to dial her phone number right now. Here we go. Hello. Hi. I was looking for Cecilia. This is Cecilia.

Hey, how are you? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Hi. Hi, Cecilia. Hey, how are you? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Uh, hi. Hi. Hi, Cecilia. How are you? Uh, I'm fine. How, how are you?

I'm not too bad. I'm really tired lately. Also, a lot of heartburn lately. I don't understand why, Cecilia. You got any heartburn problems or it's just me right now? Uh, who is this again? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. It's a radio show.

Okay. Can I help you? Well, I don't even know if you can help us, but you can help somebody who emailed us about you. Someone emailed you about me? Yes. We do a segment on our show. It's called The Second Date Update.

And you went out to an outdoor concert with a dude named Steveve a little while ago oh god steve that's what this is about yep steve said that he really had a good time with you and he told us about the date even the part where you guys got ambushed by some crazy dude with a knife and then steve ended up like fighting him off and And Steve's wondering why you won't text him or call him back. Is that really what Steve told you? Yep, that's what he told us. Does that not sound right to you?

No. No, that's not right at all. Wait, are you saying that the knife fight didn't happen? I mean, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that there's way more to the story than he apparently told you. And I would love to fill you in on what actually happened. Oh, perfect. Normally we have to try to convince people to tell us, but the floor is all yours. What happened? It sounds like he basically told you what happened. But when this guy jumped out,

I was obviously scared of a dude with a knife in the woods. Right. And I saw them fighting, so I ran away. And I felt like I got far enough away to be safe. And then I started thinking about Steve, and he was still there with that guy. So I was frantically texting him, trying to make sure that he was okay. And he wasn't responding to me. So I was just freaking out, trying to figure out what to do. Did you call the cops?

That had to be scary. Like, that's who I would call, 911. No, I didn't call the cops. I mean, everything was just happening so fast, and I was just panicking. So I didn't really, like, think about it in that moment. I just wanted Steve to text me back, and I waited and waited and waited. And when he didn't, I got really worried, so I went back because I wanted to make sure he wasn't just like lying on the ground stabbed with no one around him yeah that's nice of you

and I went back close to where it happened and I see Steve and I see the guy with the knife and they're just talking chatting yep just chatting and smoking a cigarette they were like laughing together oh my god oh my god sometimes after you fight somebody you're like hey are we cool you know did you pull a knife on me oh we're still we're bros right nice to meet you yeah who knows no not with a stranger no i so wait agree. It's weird. You think that he set it up? Is that what you're accusing him of? I mean, I don't know if he set it up, but something was definitely off. There was just something not right about the whole situation.

Like, I mean, I wouldn't be laughing with somebody who just tried to attack me with a knife. Yeah, no, that would make me angry. Even if you were a good friend of mine, you'd attack me with a knife. I'm probably not going to talk anymore. Dude, what'd you do? Did you pop out of the woods and be like, hey, surprise, I'm here too now? No, no. I just kind of put two and two together, and I got really mad

and just realized that he was a bad guy, and something was going on, and I wasn't being told everything, so I just decided to put my hands up and walk away. I was like, I don't even want to deal with this anymore. That is awful to make someone feel that amount of fear. Yeah. Yeah, I was completely terrified. And so when I walked away, Steve finally texted me and was like, oh, hey, do you want to meet at Starbucks?

And in my mind, I'm just like, no. No, of course I don't. I don't even know what just happened. So I just didn't respond. Yeah, that is weird. I would love to figure out why he was sitting there talking and laughing with the dude who just tried to stab him. Yeah, me too. Oh, cool.

Let's do that then, because Steve is actually on the other line listening to this phone call and wants to talk to you. Wait, what? Yeah, unless he hung up. Steve, are you still there? Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm here. Hey, Cecilia. Oh, man. What the hell, what? Yeah, unless he hung up. Steve, are you still there? Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm here. Hey, Cecilia. Oh, man.

What the hell, Steve? What was that? I don't even know what to say here. Okay. Here's the thing. I really, really liked you. I really did. I thought you were really sweet. It's true.

Are you going into explaining that you... Okay, I'll let you explain. Now, hear me out. Okay, okay. I really did. I thought you were really sweet. Well, are you going into explaining that you are you? Okay. I'll, I'll let you explain. Okay. Okay. So while we were talking before we actually went on the date, she said that it's so great going out with someone who's not a muscle bound bag. Like the guys that she's used to dating, you just seem like a really sweet guy. And so I'm thinking, all right, I've been here before. I've heard that kind of thing before. And what always happens is I end up being in the friend zone. Uh-oh. You're an idiot. Well, you could think that, but listen,

I arranged for the guy to attack us with a knife. I knew no one was going to get hurt. But here's the thing. I needed to show you that I could protect you, and if that happened in real life, I would absolutely do the same thing. Yeah, right. Yeah, sure.

It's a lot easier when it's one of your buddies holding a knife than just actually a random maniac. Dude, they're laughing, but that is so messed up. Do you know what you made her feel? Do you know what you put her through? You know how, like, I felt when I keep getting rejected by women? Oh, totally the same. Like, your life is on the line because you don't know how to close a deal in a relationship.

That's disgusting. I was literally telling you that I liked that you were sweet and not like these other guys. So if I don't like those other guys because they did stuff like that, why would I like you doing it? But you know what that means in woman speak. That means that you're a sweet guy and I like you and I'll never like like you. There's no such thing as women speak. It's all just the English language. No.

If there's no such thing as women speaking, why have I heard that so many times and it's become the friend? Are you seriously trying to blame this fake mugging on me? Like I said something and then you, you're really going to blame me? No, not you individually, just women in general. Oh! Oh!

Blaming all women for you setting up your friend trying to stack. You know what I mean. You know what I mean. No! You are so lucky you're on the phone right now and not in real life. Well, according to Steve,

he'd be able to protect himself against you. Oh! I mean, here's the thing. What are you supposed to do if a girl thinks you're on the phone right now and not in real life. Well, according to Steve, he'd be able to protect himself against you. I mean, here's the thing. What are you supposed to do if a girl thinks you're weak? You've got to stand up and show her that you're not. And, you know, I couldn't depend that somebody would just accidentally mug us. Just hope for a mugging. I never said you were weak, Steve. This isn't an episode.

You said you'd only dated muscle-bound guys. What was I supposed to think? Maybe that it didn't work out with those guys. I'm looking for something completely different. Yeah, and just because those guys have muscles doesn't mean they're weak. Like, the strongest men I know are actually comfortable with who they are and don't have to prove anything. I'm comfortable with who I am.

No, you're not. You are setting up muggings in the woods because you don't think that you're a strong enough man on your own. I do. I know I'm a strong enough man. I wanted to show her how strong I was. You're so confident, Steve. Like, have you done this with other women before?

Like, set up fake muggings? No, but you know what? None of the other girls I've ever dated kept throwing at my face that I'm not muscular enough for them. What? I was never saying anything like that. I was answering your questions about what my exes were like. No, because women don't say what they really mean. They've always got subtext.

See, you are disgusting. It blows my mind that you think that you have to do this kind of stuff to impress girls. It blows my mind that you don't get that women want a strong guy. You don't get that. You don't get what women want. Seriously, dude, stop with the mansplaining. Yeah You don't get what women want. Seriously, dude, stop with the mansplaining. Yeah, mansplain us what women want.

Is that what you want to tell us, what we want? Cecilia, I think I know what women want and women want another date with Steve. Would you like to go out

with Steve on a second date? We'll pay for it. Maybe you could go on a date with that fake nice guy. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about. So, what you're saying is you wouldn't want

to go out with me again? What in the world makes you think that I would ever in my mind think about saying yes? I mean, I'm being honest with you. Oh, my God. He really doesn't get it, Cecilia. That's the most delusional thing anybody has ever said. Yeah. You know what's delusional is the fact that women always say they want the nice, funny guy,

and then they never go for him. Oh, my God. They just don't go for him. Oh, my God. They just don't go for you, Steve, because you're crazy. Sure. It's not nice to set up a fake mugging. Even if it was fake, you didn't know it was fake at the time, and I never even got a thank you. Good point. Who doesn't thank somebody for saving their life?

Shut up. You know what, Steve? I think you're the one who dodged a bullet on this one. She's rude. Yeah, she is rude. Oh my gosh, that's awful. Broken Jubal in the morning. Pretty much all the texts in at 78592 think Steve is a douchebag.

Yeah. Broken Jubal in the morning talking about today's second date update. If you missed it, Steve wanted to call this girl named Cecilia. They met on Tinder

and they went to a concert and as they were leaving, they were confronted by a dude with a knife. Steve told her to run while he fought the guy off. Oh, hero. Afterwards, he was confused why she wasn't calling him back.

So we called her, and she told us that after she ran away, she came back to check on Steve and found him laughing, hanging out with the mugger, and she was extremely weirded out that the two guys were laughing together after the guy just came up to him and threatened to stab him and everything else. Yeah.

Steve admitted that he staged a fake mugging with a friend to make himself look brave because he wanted to show Cecilia that he could protect her. I was totally shocked by that, and I can't believe how many people texted in before we found that out and were like, he staged it. I'm like, how jaded are we that we think that this guy staged it? I'm like, oh, my God, they're right. People were texting in both ways saying he staged it and then being like, she staged it. They just wanted to rob him.

So no matter what, nobody believes anything anymore. Maybe they shouldn't. Obviously, yeah, for good reason. Hopefully she doesn't really get mugged someday and it's like, yeah, right. Sure. All right, Steve, you're in the bushes. Come out. She did not want to go out with Steve again after that.

No. So no second date. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and In Your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's

top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.

People, my people, what'ss, or talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Sheckner, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You've got to check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.