Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: Bed Bath and Beyond

Episode Date: October 19, 2018

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Need LASIK? Trust the experienced team at the LASIK Center at Evergreen Eye Center. No glasses, no contacts, no limits. What will you do? LASIK at evergreen.com. Moving 92.5. Ruck and Jubels, second date update. The guy on the phone for a second date update today wants to do a second date update,

but he also apparently wants to pass on information to all the single men out there in the world. Because apparently he's figured out where to meet women, and he said in his email he wants to share it with the world. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. What's up, Carter? How are you? Hey, I'm doing all right. How are you? Good.

You're like the Yoda of dating, huh? Yeah. I mean, I think it might be time for me to put my lightsaber on the shelf. Oh, my God. But I do have a couple of tricks up my sleeve. You know, you've got to be careful with this, though, because if you let everybody know where you're meeting all these hot ladies, you're going to have some competition.

I know, but you know what? this one that I just met is pretty special so I wish I had been given this information when I was in their position so all right well before we talk about your date why don't you tell us your information so basically there's three places that I go when I'm trying to find either a long-term hookup or just a nice, fun situation. And this is the first time I'm saying this, so I can't believe I'm doing it. So do I need like a breaking news sort of sound effect?

Like it's going to be huge? I'll leave that to you. Okay. If he says Tinder, I'm going to be really disappointed. There's these things called apps. You download them on your phone. Yeah, this is a little more analog. Okay, it's a lot of hype, man.

What do you got? I go to Restoration Hardware. What? The second place I like to go to is Pottery Barn. The reason is this. There's not a lot of dudes around. You're not going to find a lot of single guys competing with you For women's attention that's because

Married like I did not go to either of those stores when I was a single woman now that I'm married totally my jam man married divorced getting divorced Separated women who have a disposable income that maybe just want to have a little fun and host a young man. Hosting young man. There's a bevy of willing ladies at home furnishing stores, basically. Yeah, and with the restoration hardware and the pottery barn, you have women with a little deeper pocket,

so you find some nice sugar mamas. Right, it's a little higher price point there. Right. If I'm going for a more long-term thing, I go to those higher-end places. But if I just want to hook up for one night, I've got to go to Bed Bath & Beyond. So that was your breaking

news that you wanted to blow everybody's mind with. That's right. You heard it here first on Brook and Jubal in the Morning. According to Carter, if you want to find willing divorcees or women with money, then go to Bed Bath & Beyond or Restoration Hardware, and that's where they're all hanging out.

And again, this is my secret, and I have found the one. So, boys, the secret is yours. So you found the one. Is the one the person you want to call today? It is. Wait, the one is not calling you back. I think Is the one the person you want to call today? It is. Wait, the one is not calling you back. I think you're jumping the gun here. Yeah, but that's why I'm calling you guys,

because I'm sure you can get her on the phone, and you can straighten this whole thing out. Okay. What's her name? Her name is Sasha. Sasha. I love saying that, Sasha. Oh, my gosh.

That is really a lot of enthusiasm. Where'd you meet Sasha? I met her at my garage sale for the Desperate and Lonely, Bed, Bath, and Beyond. All right. I was in my normal spot, the hand towels. They have a lovely variety. You just hang out in the hand towel section. All right.

Did you actually go on a date with her, or was this your romantic outing? We actually went on a date right after that. We went to the food court. We went to Panda Express. There you go. That's nice. A little orange chicken. Nothing wrong with that.

You are a man of romance. And how'd that go? Hand tails and orange chicken. I mean, we just really hit it off over the mooshu pork. I just really felt it clicking. And she said that she was having a hard time with her vacuum at home. So we're finishing up our meal. And I actually invited her over to my place because I have a state-of-the-art brand-new Dyson vacuum cleaner.

Oh, wow. Fancy. They invited her over to your place to show us some real suction, huh? Hey-o. I shelled out the $800 for this thing. It is no joke. Yeah, seriously. Men don't need fancy cars.

They need fancy vacuums to impress women now. That's what I was hoping would work, but unfortunately it didn't because I invited her over and she very quickly said that she had other plans. Do you think that she knew the whole time that it was a date? I just don't feel like going to a food court after meeting in Bed Bath & Beyond will always feel like a romantic thing. Believe me, sparks were flying. Really? You felt it?

Okay. And have you talked to her since? She has not returned any of my text messages. Nothing? Wow. Yeah, I think something got sent off, but I have never met a more quality person in Bed Bath & Beyond. And the heart wants what it wants. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Did you tell her that no, are you crazy? I wouldn't tell her that I'm only telling you guys We'll play a song and then come back and call her and get your second date update, okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, please

Yeah, I I can't wait to hear what she has to say. I'm really putting myself out here with this. OK. Hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Second date update. If you're just joining us for today's second date update, Carter is on the phone.

And he spent most of the first part of the second Date Update telling us about how he likes to meet women. He says he likes to go to home furnishing stores like Restoration Hardware or Bed Bath & Beyond. Bed Bath & Beyond, which he called the garage sale of the lost and desperate or something like that. But apparently he met a diamond in the rough at Bed Bath & Beyond, and her name is Sasha. They met there and then went to the food court and had Panda Express together before she left. And he hasn't heard from her since, but he feels like she's the one. Hey, Carter, you spent a lot of time telling us about your favorite places to meet women, but we didn't actually learn that much about Sasha in that first part.

Is there anything you'd like to actually tell us about her? Like, do you know anything about her? Oh, yeah. She is just really well-dressed. I mean, she just looks really well put together, but not in like a fake and put-on way. Her blouse was perfect. What? And the jewelry that she had on, the earrings.

Can I ask, do you have a weird thing for details? Because, again, that is not telling us anything about who she is as a person. Well, I did tell you she had vacuum problems. That's true. Yeah, you did say that she was having a problem with her vacuum cleaner and you tried to get her back to your place by tempting her to come check out your Dyson that you have. And she said no, and that's the last time you saw her.

So you guys know a lot about her then, huh? Yeah, I mean, we can totally see why you called her the one. Yeah, I guess we do know almost way too much. Yeah. We almost know too much about Sasha, so I'm just going to dial her phone number right now and see if we can get you another date, okay? That'd be great. All right, here we go.

Hello? Hi, may I speak to Sasha, please? This is she. Hey, Sasha, how are you? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Who's this? Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. It's a radio show.

Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah, I've heard of you guys. How's it going? Oh, cool. Not bad. Hey, Sasha, I'm calling you today because you went on a date with a dude named Carter. Wait, hold on. Is this your second date update?

Is that what this is? Yes. That's exactly what it is. Oh, no. So Carter emailed us and told us about meeting you. He also said that he likes you a lot, but you're not returning any of his text messages. Yeah, I've heard your guys' second date updates before,

and they don't normally turn out well. That is correct, so maybe this one will be different. Maybe not. your guys' second date updates before, and they don't normally turn out well. Yeah, well. That is correct, so maybe this one will be different. Maybe not. Maybe not, all right. Can I ask, what was it like, I just am really curious, because he says that you guys met in the towel section of Bed, Bath, and Beyond. What was your first take on Carter? He came up to me, first of all, and was talking to me about the color selection.

So I thought that he just worked there. Oh, right. That would make sense. Yeah, but he didn't work there. But he was super helpful with the towels. He knew what taupe was, which I thought was a little weird. But yeah, he was just, he was really friendly. He was really nice. Okay, and is that why you decided to go to Panda Express with him after you were done at Bed Bath & Beyond?

Yeah, that's why I decided to go have lunch with him. Okay, and you were looking at this as like this could be a potential romantic partner. I wouldn't go that far. It was lunch with someone I met at Bed Bath & Beyond, basically. Okay. And how did you like lunch with him? He wouldn't stop talking about mooshu pork and I thought that was a little odd but we were just kind of talking about life and stuff and then he started staring at me odd and I thought that he might actually be getting sick off of the food. Oh for real? Yeah and then I was really concerned that I might get sick off of the food, but then he leaned forward, and I thought, he's trying to kiss me.

What? Which seemed really forward. Yeah. But I was wrong. It turns out he wasn't trying to kiss me. He was trying to pick my nose. What? Like with his finger?

With his finger. He leaned across the table, extended his arm, and he got really close to doing it before I had to, like, swat his hand away. I was going to say, did you slip out of that? Like, did you get away from his finger? Dodge it? Oh, my God, yeah.

That's disgusting. Oh, my God. A kiss would have been a lot better than that. Why would he do that? What'd you say? I have no idea why someone would do that. Did you call him out for it? Yeah, I backed away from him, and I was like, what are you doing?

And he's like, oh, I'm just trying to take care of you. What? Take care of you? Did you have, like, a big boogie hanging out of your nose? Yeah. I don't know if I had a booger or not, but I was just so embarrassed by the whole situation that I told him that I had another errand to run and that I had to go. Oh, that's where that came from.

Yeah, and that's when you got out of there. Yeah. He said that about the feminine errand, and I was like, what does that even mean? He did not tell us that he tried to pick your nose. Well, I've heard a lot of second date updates, and I don't know why he would have left that out. I mean, that's the main reason

why I never called him. Yeah, I don't know why he would have left that out. I mean, that's the main reason why I never called him. Yeah, I don't know why he would have left that out either. And if you've heard a lot of second date updates, then you should know that he's actually on the other line listening and wants to talk to you. I forgot about that. Hey, Sasha. It's me, Carter. What's going on, Carter? What are you doing? First of all, Sasha, did you like your food? What? What? Did you like the meal that we shared, Sasha?

Yes, it was fine. What does that have to do with anything? I was just thinking that since I paid for lunch, you could tell me that you had a good time. What? Did you have a good time, Sasha? Are you crazy? I just told everyone that you tried to pick my nose. I definitely did not have a good time You may think that I did that but did I not compliment you on your jewelry? Yeah, but Carter Did you try to pick her nose who cares what you complimented on?

You're trying to pick somebody's nose that trumps everything. Okay, I will address this I was not picking her nose i was cleaning her nose what you were actually trying to put your finger in her nose my intention was not to use my finger what were you going to use then were you gonna lick it out what is what was your plan there oh my god this is so gross you do that to other strangers that you have just met? You try to stick your finger up their nose? You don't think that's gross? Come on, Sasha.

You're saying that we were strangers? Come on, we're not strangers. We definitely had something. I met you 10 minutes ago. You don't do that to someone you've just met. I don't even let my friends do that to me. It felt like a very significant 10 minutes. What?

No, Carter, what she's saying is you could be married for 50 years, and you still don't reach over and clean out somebody's nose with your finger. Like, you tell them, like, hey, I think you got something there. Do you need a tissue? I really feel like you guys are bashing me here. Yeah, yeah, for sure. What I was doing was chivalrous. And for the most part, chivalry is dead. And I saw an issue

and I saw a woman, a woman that I spent a very significant 10 minutes with in Bed Bath & Beyond bonding and I wanted to take care of the problem that you had. I wanted to be there for you. So you think picking somebody's nose is a gentlemanly thing to do?

Not just somebody's nose. Sasha's nose. You're more than somebody. I don't make a habit of picking people's nose. I promise you that. Sasha, is it the nose picking that's now the problem or the fact that he doesn't understand that that's a boundary that you don't cross?

Yeah, I think his chivalry is a little too strong for me. He's a little too forward. I prefer to have someone who's a little bit more relaxed think his chivalry is a little too strong for me. It's a little too forward. I prefer to have someone who's a little bit more relaxed in the chivalry. That's right. You be an independent woman. You pick your own nose. You would rather me use the words, excuse me

Sasha, you have a booger hanging, than me discreetly... Discreetly? Yeah, there's nothing discreet about picking somebody else's nose. Don't get me wrong. We got pretty close in the line at Panda Express, did we not? Oh, my God. So as you pointed to the Mooshu pork, you grazed me.

Oh, a graze. You pointed and you grazed. I'm not going to say what you grazed me with, but there was a graze. So he's saying you wanted the nose picking, Sasha. You're asking for it. Look, there are a lot of people in that line, okay? And if I accidentally moved forward into you unintentionally, that's not, I'm not, I wasn't, I wasn't putting moves on you. You weren't putting the vibe out there that you wanted your nose picked, huh? I guess so, apparently.

Sasha, would you like to go out on a second date with Carter? We will pay for it. Look, I'm going to say no to that because if he's being honest and serious about what he's saying right now, he might need to talk to a psychiatrist about his boundary and his chivalry issue. Yeah, I'm with you on that one. If I tell you I was joking, will you agree to go on another date with me? No! There you go. What do you think about that, Sasha?

If Carter says that he was joking, will you go out with him? No, because I don't like your f***ing humor. Touché, my lady. I am not giving up. My princess, you will find me at Bed Bath & Beyond whenever you seek me. I think Bed Bath & Beyond is the real victim here. They lost a customer. Yeah, they did.

Broken Jubal in the morning. Text in at 78592 with a lot of judgy people out there. I don't think. I think they're right on, maybe. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Talking about today's second date update. If you missed it, this dude Carter met Sasha at a Bed Bath & Beyond. He says that's his go-to spot to meet ladies.

He took her to the food court. They had lunch when he met her at Bed Bath & Beyond. He says that's his go-to spot to meet ladies. He took her to the food court. They had lunch when he met her at Bed Bath & Beyond. He said they had a great time. What he didn't tell us, though, when we talked to him at first was that at the lunch,

he reached across the table and literally tried to pick her nose. That's so gross, dude. Not brush something off her face, tried to pick her nose. He is lucky he didn't get punched. She was traumatized and by the end of the phone call she refused to go on a second date because she wants to pick her own nose.

I guess chivalry is dead. Women don't let you open the door anymore. I pick my own nose. It's fine. I'll stop trying to pick your nose then. Yeah. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season, but, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far.

I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, Eve, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You've got to check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.