Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: Ben Franklin Effect

Episode Date: November 9, 2018

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Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Need LASIK? Trust the experienced team at the LASIK Center at Evergreen Eye Center. No glasses, no contacts, no limits. What will you do? LASIK at evergreen.com. Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubal's Second Date Update. You know, when we do these second date updates,

we always have dudes on the phone that are like, I got the perfect technique for how to meet ladies. Oh, yeah. And the guy on the phone today, his name is Sean. And all his email said was that he uses a technique called the Ben Franklin effect. Don't really know what that is, but I'm guessing that's you go to a retirement home and convince all the ladies there that you're the one who invented bifocals. And then they're super excited to meet you because now they can read things yeah wow you invented that sexy hey what's up sean how are you

hey guys how's it going pretty good i'm interested to find out what the ben franklin effect is unless i got it right did i get it right no no it's not quite like that. It's actually a kite in a lightning storm. Is that what it is? No, no, no. You're close. So you convince a woman that you are Ben Franklin's ghost and that they must sleep with you in order for you to finally be put to rest? I would say, I would bite, I would take that. This is a real technique. I admit I learned it from this blog, but it's a really legit thing.

It is. Wait, this is the first time you tried the Ben Franklin technique? Yeah, I mean, other people have tried it before. I didn't invent it, but yeah. Okay, well, we'll get to what that is exactly in a second. First, let's find out about the girl you want to call today. What's her name? Her name's Erica.

Erica. And how did you meet Erica? We're actually in the same class together. I go to the night school at the community college. She sits next to me a lot of times time and she's beautiful and really smart. Oh my God. Do you get so excited when she actually sits next to you in class? Like, here she comes. Here she comes. She's going to sit by me. I don't know. Is it middle school or college? Yeah, of course I do. Of course I do. And that's why I thought I could try out the Ben Franklin

effect on her because I read about it and I thought maybe this would work. Okay. So basically you ask a girl to do something for you and she does it and subconsciously she then likes you more and she's more open to you. She's receptive to you. And Ben Franklin apparently used this with his rival inventors or something to get them to like him more. So he'd be like, hey, can you pick up that paper I dropped? And then they would do it, and all of a sudden, subconsciously, they like him more because they did something for him?

Yeah, exactly. That's it. So what did you ask her to do for you? I sort of planned this out, I have to admit. But the first thing I did was I dropped a pencil in class, and I said, hey, Erica, would you mind picking that up? And she did. She picked up the pencil. Okay, I'll go in according to plan. And then you went there and you're like, now you want to sleep with me, don't you?

I mean, it wasn't that effective. Okay. Pencil isn't a good analogy there. Well, I had to stick with it, right? So then the next week, I said to her, hey, Erica, would you mind if I borrow some paper? She's like, sure. And she ripped out a paper from her notebook and she gave it to me. Okay, sure. And she ripped out a paper from her notebook and she gave it to me. Okay, okay.

The next week, I said, hey, Erica, if you happen to be at the drugstore this week, would you mind picking up some post-it notes for me? What? Now you're having a fun anniversary. Yeah, you actually have to grab me some post-it notes from the store. Did you give her your grocery list the following week?

No, no, no. I mean, I actually needed some post-it notes, but she looked at me really funny. Of course. But I said, no, no, no, I'll pay you back. And my schedule has just been crazy, but I'll pay you back. And she did it. She got me the post-it notes and she brought them the next week. But don't you think, I don't know that she likes you more. Doesn't it say that she liked you to begin with if she's willing to go think of you and pick up post-it notes? Well, maybe, but I'm trying out the technique. Okay. Okay, right. We'll stick to the technique.

So it appears to be working at this point. I mean, she's doing the things that you're asking. Well, yeah, and after the post-it notes, I realized, like, okay, I can sort of just sit down and talk to her now. So I said, hey, you know, we should hang out sometime. And then she was like, yeah, but my schedule's pretty busy

picking up things from the store for you. I don't know if I will have time to go out with you. Well, she said yes. So, you know, I thought it was working. What did you guys do? So I had this idea. I thought it was a pretty creative idea because I don't have a lot of money. I'm taking these classes.

So I figured we would go to 7-Eleven and do sort of like a cheap wine tasting. Dude, that's awesome. I give you lots of points for that. Thank you. Thank you. I thought it was kind of clever. So we bought all these like $5 wines and then we took them to the park nearby and we tried out these wines and we were laughing and we were talking about true crime podcasts. We both listened to them.

We were sort of really connecting. And then you're like this Carlo Rossi and Boone's farm. I mean, the notes are really amazing. Very oaky. Would you like a mad dog? Yeah. Yeah, you know, we're not wine experts, but that was sort of the fun. Yeah, totally.

And then she said she had to get going. And so I walked her to the bus and gave her a hug. And, you know, that was it. But I thought, okay, that went pretty well. Okay. All right. And have you guys talked much after that? We were texting for a while. And she sort of stopped responding to me.

But she said, like, hey, you know, I'm going through a difficult time. Which I wasn't really sure what that meant. And then it started happening that I was in class and she would stop sitting near me you know maybe she thinks who is this guy taking me out to 7-eleven this guy clearly isn't going places you know i don't think that's what she meant by a difficult time i mean yeah it sounds like she's going through some stuff and just maybe doesn't need a relationship right now i mean maybe but it sounded kind of like an excuse because like if we actually did connect, then I don't know why

she would stay farther away from me. Yeah, it doesn't really explain why she would not want to even be around you if that's what it looks like. Yeah, and I can take her on a real date,

but I need your help to sort of figure this out. I'm really hoping to get a second date because I really like her. Okay, cool. Well, we'll play a song and then come back

and call her and get your second date update, okay? All right Okay, cool. Well, we'll play a song and then come back and call her and get your second date update, okay? All right, cool. All right, man. Hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning.

Second date update. You know, when we do these second date updates, we always have dudes on the phone that are like, I got the perfect technique for how to meet ladies. Oh, yeah. And the guy on the phone today, his name is Sean, and all his email said was that he uses a technique called the Ben Franklin effect. Don't really know what that is,

but I'm guessing that's you go to a retirement home and convince all the ladies there that you're the one who invented bifocals and then they're super excited to meet you because now they can read things.

Ooh, bifocals. Wow, you invented that? Sexy. Hey, what's up, Sean? How are you? Hey, guys. How's it that? Sexy. Hey, what's up, Sean? How are you? Hey, guys. How's it going? Pretty good.

I'm interested to find out what the Ben Franklin effect is. Unless I got it right. Did I get it right? No, no. It's not quite like that. It's actually a kite in a lightning storm. Is that what it is? No, no, no.

You're close. So you convince a woman that you are Ben Franklin's ghost and that they must sleep with you in order for you to finally be put to rest? I will say I would take that. This is a real technique. I learned it from this blog, but it's a really legit thing. Wait, this is the first time you tried the Ben Franklin technique? Yeah, I mean, other people have tried it before. I didn't invent it, but yeah.

Okay, well, we'll get to what that is exactly in a second. First, let's find out about the girl you want to call today. What's her name? Her name's Erica. Erica, and how did you meet Erica? We're actually in the same class together. I go to night school at the community college. She sits next to me a lot of times, and she's beautiful and really smart.

Oh, my God. Do you get so excited when she actually sits next to you in class? Like, here she comes. Here she comes. She's going to sit by me. I don't know. Is it middle school or college? Yeah, of course I do.

Of course I do. And that's why I thought I could try out the Ben Franklin effect on her because I read about it and I thought maybe this would work. Okay. So basically you ask a girl to do something for you and she does it and subconsciously she then likes you more and girl to do something for you and she does it and subconsciously she then likes you more and she's more open to you. She's receptive to you. And Ben Franklin apparently used this with his rival inventors or something to get them to like him more. So he'd be like,

hey, can you pick up that paper I dropped? And then they would do it. And all of a sudden, subconsciously, they like him more because they did something for him? Yeah, exactly. That's it. So what did you ask her to do for you? I sort of planned this out, I have to admit. But the first thing I did was I dropped a pencil in class and I said, hey, Erica, would you mind picking that up? And she did. She picked up the pencil.

Okay, I'll go in according to plan. And then you went to her and you're like, now you want to sleep with me, don't you? I mean, it wasn't that effective. Okay. Pencil isn't a good analogy there. Well, I had to stick with it, right? So then the next week, I said to my wife, hey, Erica, would you mind if I borrow some paper?

She's like, sure. And she ripped out a paper from her notebook and she gave it to me. Okay, okay. The next week, I said, hey, Erica, if you happen to be at the drugstore this week, would you mind picking up some Post-it notes for me? What? Now you're having a fun and? Yeah, you actually asked her to grab you some Post-it notes from the store. Did you give her your grocery list the following week?

No, no, no. I mean, I actually needed some Post-it notes. And she looked at me really funny. Of course. But I said, no, no, no, I'll pay you back. And my schedule has just been crazy, but I'll pay you back. And she did it. She got me the Post-it notes that she brought me the next week.

But don't you think, I don't know that she likes you more. Doesn't it say that she liked you to begin with if she's willing to go think of you and pick up Post-it notes? Well, maybe, but I'm trying out the technique. Okay. Okay, right. We'll stick to the technique. So it appears to be working at this point. I mean, she's doing the things that you're asking.

Well, yeah. And after the Post-it notes, I realized, like, okay, I can sort of just sit down and talk to her now. So I said, hey, you know, we should hang out sometime. And then she was like, yeah, but my schedule's pretty busy picking up things from the store for you. I don't know if I will have time to go out with you. Well, she said yes, so, you know, I thought it was working.

Nice. Okay. What did you guys do so i had this idea i thought it was pretty creative idea because i don't have a lot of money i'm taking these classes so i figured we would go to 7-eleven and do sort of like a cheap wine tasting dude that's awesome i give you lots of points for that. Thank you. Thank you. I thought it was kind of clever. So we bought all these like $5 wines and then we took them to the park nearby and we tried out these wines and we were laughing and we were talking about true crime podcast. We both listened to them and we're sort of really connecting.

And then you're like this Carlo Rossi and Boone's farm. I mean, the notes are really amazing. Very oaky. Would you like a mad dog? Yeah. Yeah. You know, we're not wine experts, but that was sort of the fun. Yeah, totally. And then she said she had to get going. And so I walked her to the bus and give her a hug. And, you know, that was it. But I thought, OK, that went pretty well. OK. All right. And have you guys talked much after that? We were texting for a while and she sort of stopped responding to me, but she said like, hey, you know, I'm going through a difficult time, which I wasn't really sure what that meant. And then it started happening that I was in class and she would stop sitting near me.

You know, maybe she thinks, who is this guy taking me out to 7-Eleven? This guy clearly isn't going places, you know? I don't think that's what she meant by a difficult time. I mean, it sounds like she's going through some stuff and just maybe doesn't need a relationship right now. I mean, maybe, but it sounded kind of like an excuse because, like, if we actually did connect, then I don't know why she would stay farther away from me. Yeah, it doesn't really explain why she would not want to even be around you,

if that's what it looks like. Yeah, and I can take her on a real date, but I need your help to sort of figure this out. I'm really hoping to get a second date, because I really like her. Okay, cool. Well, we'll play a song, and then come back and call her

and get your second date update, okay? All right, cool. All right, man. Hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the Morning's Second Date Update. If you're just joining us for today's Second Date Update, Sean is on the phone, and he wants to call a girl named Erica. They actually are in class together, and they went out on a date to 7-Eleven. They just bought a bunch of stuff, went to a park, and drank some really crappy alcohol.

But he says it was a great time. And then she left, gave him a hug. But since then, apparently she said she's been going through something and she won't even sit next to him in class. So he's confused why she doesn't want to hang out with him again. Hey, Sean, since you guys are like in class together, have you tried maybe, you know, pulling out the chair for her and then pulling it all the way out when she's about to sit down, falls down or maybe like going out and getting on the teeter-totter

and getting on one side and then just getting off so that she slams down on the ground. It seems like a good effective way to do that in that situation. Show her you like her. Maybe throw some paper at the back of her head while you're in class. Cut her ponytail off. It was not like that. I think we're a little too old

for that. Give it a shot, man. All right, I'm about to dial her phone number right now. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. All right, well, here we go. Hello? Hi, is this Erica?

Yes, this is... Hey, Erica, how are you? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. It's a radio show. Oh, okay. How are you? I'm fine. How are you?

I'm not too bad, thank you for asking. You wondering why a radio station is calling you right now? Yeah. I figured you might be. I'm calling you today because we got an email from one of our listeners about you. Oh. His name is Sean. Oh.

Okay. You ever heard of a second date update before? I mean, I've heard of it, but I don't know about it. Okay. So you guys are the ones who do that? Yeah, we do do that on the show. What it is is where if you go out on a date with somebody and then end up not wanting to see them again after,

they can email us and we'll get you on the phone and ask why. So Sean emailed us because he's confused. He says that you guys had a great time together but now you're not really talking to him and you also don't even sit in the same area as him anymore in your class. Yeah.

Okay, and Sean is wondering if he did something wrong on his date no he didn't do anything wrong on the date the date was really fun we're both students right now and obviously funds are short so he had this idea he's like we're gonna do a wine tasting yeah he told us all about your date and it sounded like kind of like a fun thing to do even if you weren't broke it just kind of sounded fun and quirky. I love wine and I even want to do it. I'm like, that actually sounds like a great idea that I will be doing this Saturday night.

Did he do something? No, no. He didn't do anything. I'm going through a really difficult time with something in my life right now and I just, I have some drama going on and I needed time to not date or like have someone texting me every single day. I told him, he told us that you texted him and you're going through a difficult time. I'm like,

dude, give the woman some space. Yeah. And like, he's very sweet, but he just kept persisting and kept on bugging. And it's like, I just, I have some drama going on with my girlfriend and he like wouldn't back off. And so that kind of turns me off. It's like, can you just listen and respect my wishes? So probably us calling you for him is even sexier. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like you have something serious going on. I don't want to really, like, keep prying about that,

because I don't want you to treat us just like you did him and stop talking to us. But would you mind at least, like, maybe telling him that this is the reason you're not talking to him is because you're dealing with something right now but she already told him that yeah I guess you know when I see him in class I could just tell him then you know yeah or you could do it now because he's actually on the other line listening and wants to talk to you what do you think about that wait what yeah yeah Sean is on the other line listening. Are you serious? Not bugging me at all.

Hey, Erica. Hi. You just don't give up, do you? Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be weird or anything, but I want to know what's going on in your life. I mean, you know, I care for you, Erica. I'm actually worried about you. Well, thanks. I mean, you know, I care for you, Erica. I'm actually, I'm worried about you.

Well, thanks. I appreciate that. But, you know, I'm just dealing with enough from my friend and my mother. Yeah, no, I get that. It's just that I haven't heard from you in a while. And I really do care for you, Erica. And I want to, like, be here for you. You know what I mean? I want to know what's going on with you. Erica, are you annoyed by this or do you think it's sweet? Where do you stand right now? I understand that his intentions are pure, but I'm going through the worst thing ever right now. It's like, don't you want to respect her boundaries?

Like, she's obviously set them. Yeah, of course. The last thing I want is for you to feel uncomfortable, Erica. I'm a really good listener. So if you ever do want to talk about it, I'm here. I just want to let you know that. I mean, he's a really good listener who doesn't understand that you already told him that you had something going on in text message and that you weren't available for a relationship. Can you just tell me, Erica, like, is it like a death in the family?

Because I can totally, I understand what that's like. No, no, it's not that. That's good. Okay. I'm glad that's like. No, no, it's not that. That's good. Okay, I'm glad that no one died or anything. Is it like your parents got divorced? Sean, I think the point is she doesn't want you to press her into talking about it. You're just going down the list of possible scenarios? Look, okay, fine.

It's just my best friend, who I've known since I was two years old is getting married okay and I'm also very close with my mother and my best friend has been close to my family for years like family vacations together and everything and she didn't invite my mom to her wedding but she invited our other friend's mom, who she's only known for like five years to the wedding. What? Oh. That's what you're going through? Wait, your mom didn't get an invite to your best friend's wedding?

I mean, I'm not trying to downplay your problems. But that's the big thing that you're dealing with? Yeah. Do you know like how insulting that is to my mother like she's been a part of the family for years and then she didn't invite my mom to the wedding but she invited our other friend's mom so there shellen now you know now you know what you've been pressing me about and and I hope you feel good about yourself. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You told me that you were going through a difficult time in your life. Like, really difficult.

Yeah. This is difficult. It's a very difficult time. But do you want to get this straight? Your mom wasn't invited to a wedding? I like how we're all repeating it. I know. No, hey, you got gotta be fair, though.

I mean, everybody deals with things differently, and this is hard on Erica. No, I totally get that, and I understand, and I just want to be here for you, but that's kind of silly, right? I mean, that's kind of... What? Excuse me? It is not silly. Imagine that you were going to go to

your best friend's wedding, and then your dad wasn't invited. You'd probably be upset about it. Well, yeah, maybe for, like, two minutes. But, I mean, you know, I was expecting something a lot more devastating than that. Well, I'm sorry that my version of devastation doesn't meet your standards, okay? But I'm actually going through something really difficult right now. And this is exactly why I didn't tell you is because I knew that you wouldn't understand

and now here you are, like, giving me s*** about it on the radio. Okay. Like, who does that anyways? Okay, I get it, I get it. I'm sorry. I get it. I get it, I get it.

Oh, my God. Hey, but you know what? Lucky for you, Erica, that this is the worst thing you're dealing with. You live a very charmed life. What's that supposed to mean? I think it's supposed to mean that, you know, that's like, yeah. Good on you.

This is a big thing. Why is everyone treating me like this isn't a big issue, like this isn't a big deal or something? No. It is. I agree with you, Erica. This is the worst thing happening in the world right now. I can't believe it. At least Jubal understands.

Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, my God. You're all sitting there laughing, and you're not even thinking about my poor mother who's sitting at home all by herself, crying every night, wondering what she did.

No, I feel you. I feel you. There's like a Saturday out there where your mom doesn't have plans and other people do. I feel you. That is horrible, Erica. I'm starting to feel bad. I am. I'm starting to feel bad for you. There's like a Saturday out there where your mom doesn't have plans and other people do. I feel you. That is horrible Erica. I'm starting to feel bad. I am. I'm starting to feel bad for you. I'm trying not to laugh.

Oh my God. Erica, it's just perspective. That's all we're saying. Get some perspective here. Here's some perspective. You guys are all a**holes, okay? Bye. No. Did she hang up? I think she, yeah, she's gone. I think she's gone. Oh, man. Hey, Sean, I didn't even get to ask, but I'll just do it now since she's not here. Would you like to go out with Sean on a second date, Erica?

We'll pay for it. Date to the wedding? She's not answering. I think that's a no, Sean. Oh, Sean. Wow. How are you feeling right now about that? I'm having a difficult time deciding this now.

It's kind of weird. It is. I agree. It is weird that her friend wouldn't invite her mom to her wedding. I know. What is up with that? Horrible, Sean. They, like, grew up together.

Yeah, I feel like maybe she's a little too dramatic for me. I'm not going to lie. What? Did you hear what she said, Sean? Maybe. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help.

That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight or wherever you get your podcasts. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune in to my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there.

I've always been inspired by frustration. It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts.