Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: Dental Dam

Episode Date: January 7, 2019

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Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's not often that we get requests for second date updates from guys that have already had the girl inside of them before the date even happened. What are you talking about? I don't think we can do this. It just sounds like the kind of guy Mark is. Apparently that's what happened.

Is that the kind of guy you are, Mark? You'll go out on a date with someone as long as they get all up in there first? Oh my gosh. Really, that's what happened? Is that the kind of guy you are, Mark? You'll go out on a date with someone as long as they get all up in there first? Oh, my gosh. I mean, technically, I guess in this situation, yeah. Yeah, I'm kind of right about that. There are kids listening to this show. We cannot continue doing whatever it is that you did, Mark, or that she did.

I don't know who did it. Let me explain. I met her at a dentist's office. Yeah, that. Or that she did. I don't know who did it. Let me explain. I met her at a dentist's office. Yeah. That's why I say that. He said that she's a dental hygienist and he met her at the office, so... She was having a heart attack for no reason.

She got all up in his mouth and then he apparently asked her on a date first. God, I have a filthy mind. Before we get to your date, Mark, how did you ask her out with all those tools in your mouth? Yeah, well, it was a little embarrassing, to be honest with you.

Because, like, so I went to the dentist's office and, you know, I've seen her right away. She was at the receptionist's desk. She was, like, super good looking, you know, like, very, very cute. They all are. Yeah, they kind of are. But she, I mean, she definitely caught my eye. So, like, right away I was kind of, like, you know, shy. And then all of a sudden she stands up and I hear, Mark.

And I look up and it's her. And she's bringing me back into the office. You're suddenly like, oh, my God, fate, it's happening. She knows my name. What karma did I do to deserve this? I was like, oh, my God, it's coming true. No, but I come to find, she's the hygienist and she's going to clean my teeth.

And like, I'm just trying to play it cool, you know? And it was absolutely like not what I ended up being. I was not cool at all. That's probably where you hope you don't have a disgusting mouth, right? No, no. Do you have a disgusting mouth, Mark? I've wondered that about you for a while now.

No, not at all. Why weren't you cool while you were in the chair well i was trying to like kind of just give her a heads up and i have no idea why i even said it i just said just so you know i'm a bleeder someone's not flossing enough mark yeah and then what made matters worse was, you know that suction hose thing? Yeah. So that must have slipped or something, and it gagged me.

So next thing you know, I'm dry heaving in front of this hot girl. Oh, no. It was super embarrassing, and I was just really not looking cool at all. But come on. And no woman likes a man with a bad gag reflex it's her job she's used to seeing things like that yeah so yeah exactly so luckily

like she was really nice and kind and everything and you know I don't think like that like ruined it for me at all because well before I get too far ahead of myself, she was also like, I can help you schedule your next appointment. And I was like, for whatever reason, again, I don't know what was wrong with me that day. But I said, I go, you mean like a dentist appointment or a you appointment? A you appointment. Hello. That might have been the worst thing you did for sure. Talk about how much blood you're going to spill, dry heave,

but that line right there is probably the creepiest thing that you did. Yeah, I don't know. We had a little bit of chemistry. We were kind of flirting, and I just thought that maybe she knew exactly that I was talking about taking her out on a date. What'd she say? What was her reaction? She was like, what?

I work here. I'm just a hygienist. She didn't know what you were talking about, so you had to explain to her, no, I was trying. I'm just a hygienist. You know, like I'm not. She didn't know what you were talking about. So you had to explain to her, no, I was trying to cleverly ask you on a date. Yeah, I was like, I'm sorry. I just meant, you know, would you like to go on a date sometime? I'm assuming she said yes. She said yes.

Yeah. That's so cute. That's actually a really cute story. So what'd you do when you went on your date? So we were like texting a little bit and I said, you know, where do you want to go? And she picked this organic pizza place. And I was like, sure, whatever. That's cool. And I picked her up. We went to the pizza place and it was a lot of fun. And the food was actually like amazing. But my my body didn't think so.

What do you mean? Did you actually puke this time instead of just driving? So after we ate on the way home to drop her off, I had to take three emergency stops at gas stations. Oh, no. To use the bathroom? To use the bathroom. And I'm not just talking like, hey, I got to just run in and play a lotto ticket. I was, like, peeling into the parking lot.

Oh, my gosh. That is humiliating. That is, dude. You cannot win with her. And I hate to say it, but I can see why she's not calling you back after that. Yeah, so, I mean, not only with my lame pickup lines

and gagging in front of her and the dentist's office, but stopping at the gas station a few times for emergency breaks. Geez. I'm just kind of looking for a miracle here because I haven't heard back. All right.

So we already, yeah. I don't even need to ask, like, what do you think went wrong? Why do you think she's not calling you back? I think you know you're just hoping that maybe you can throw it out there for a second date and maybe she'll give you another shot.

Yeah, absolutely. I've listened to you guys before and I know you guys can perform miracles. I'm looking for one today. All right. We'll see if we can do it. We'll play a song and then come back and call her and get your second date update.

Just hold hands, light some candles, and throw out the biggest Hail Mary you can for me, please. We'll do it right after this. Moving 92.5 Brooke and Jubal in the Morning Second Date Update. Right in the middle of a second date update, and if you're just joining us, we're going to try

to do the impossible and get Mark a second date with Courtney. If you missed the first part, he met Courtney at his dentist's office. She's the hygienist who actually cleaned his teeth. It was kind of embarrassing for him because he has a horrible gag reflex and ended up dry heaving when she put the little suction thing in his mouth. He also mentioned how he's a bleeder, and they had a really awkward line asking her out, but she did say yes. And then when I went out for pizza, it was a really good pizza place until the drive home when the pizza didn't sit right in his tummy. And he had to stop three different times to use the bathroom before he dropped her off. So he's pretty sure he knows why he ruined the date. Oh my God. I never asked. And I'm so curious, when you finally got to her house after the three

emergency stops, what was the exit like from the car? She was very quiet. There wasn't like a definite like, I'm gonna see you again. It definitely felt like that was it. She didn't offer to like, you need to come in and use my bathroom before you get back on the road? No, no, she didn't do that. All right, well, I'm gonna call her right now. Here we go, okay? All right, good luck. I know this is going to be a tough one for you guys. All right. Hello?

Hi, is this Courtney? Yeah, this is Courtney. What's up, Courtney? How are you? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the morning uh hi hi Courtney how you doing I'm good

what's going on not much just hanging out thought we'd give you a call what's going on with you today hey just working oh nice you work as a dental assistant, yeah? Yeah, how do you know that? We know a lot about you, Courtney. Creepy. Okay, this is getting

really creepy. What? All right, Courtney, this is the radio show, Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. It sounds like you might already be familiar with us, but we do the second date update on our show. Have you ever heard that? Yeah, I have. Okay. Well, somebody emailed us about you. Oh God. You're so excited. Well, you never know how these things turn out. Have you been out on a lot of dates in the last few weeks? You know, I'm a single lady. I spend some time out occasionally. Okay. Any dudes in particular that you don't want to see again?

Oh, you got a pen and paper? I do, but I guess we don't have that much time. I'll just tell you who emailed us. His name is Mark. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. You remember Mark. Of course I remember Mark. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. You remember Mark. Of course I remember Mark.

Yeah. All right. Well, Mark emailed us because he says that he's pretty sure he knows you don't want to talk to him because your date didn't go that great. Yeah, that's an understatement. Yeah. He told us about how he had to stop three different times on the way to drop you off to use the bathroom because the pizza didn't treat his tummy right. Well, yeah, but at first I didn't know that. So he's driving crazy, just stopping at all the like, you know, gas stations around town.

What? He didn't tell you? Wasn't it kind of obvious? Like what else would he be stopping for? Well, no, at first I'm like, maybe he needs a snack. Maybe he needs gum. Who knows? The second and third time, it got a little weird. All right. So you knew exactly what was going on by probably the second or at least the third time, for sure. For sure. So I felt bad for him because I'm like, this is awful.

Of course, nobody wants to have an upset stomach on a date. That's so awkward. Did that ruin everything for you? No, it was like, okay, I just feel bad for him, you know, but we've all been there. It's fine. Were you attracted to him before that? Totally. He's a cute guy. He's nice.

Okay. So if, uh, if the bathroom breaks didn't bother you, what did? So he goes in for the third time and I'm like, okay, he's been in there a while. Let me just do something cute to try to make him feel better. I take a cute selfie. I go to send it to him thinking like, hey, you know, still here, waiting on you, hope everything's okay. And his phone chimes in the car. So I'm like, he didn't even take his phone inside.

Well, if it's an emergency, you're probably just running in. I mean, he was moving quick, but I see that in his phone he has me listed as big butt and a smile. Really? No! But that's not necessarily a bad thing. Yeah, it could be a good thing. It's not big butt frowny face. It's big butt smile. You're memorable.

Except I have a name. Well, yeah. Like, what kind of guys do, like, that is just so played out who does that anymore. I kind of still do that. Okay, well, I can't explain you, but that is like, you could just say the girl's name. Okay, so you would rather have been saved in his phone as Courtney instead of big butt and a smile? Totally, or just put an emoji,

like only guys that do that are douchebags and married guys. Like, I'm sorry. All right. I wish somebody would say me in their phone as big butt and a smile. I would take it as a compliment, but obviously you didn't, and that's the reason that you don't want to see him again? I mean, the thing is, my butt isn't even that big. Well, it's good.

How's your smile, though? I mean, the thing is, my butt isn't even that big. Well, it's good. How's your smile, though? I mean, it is great. But, Courtney, I mean, is there any chance that he just, like, forgot your name when he put it in his phone or something? Let's be a little more creative and respectful. Like, hygienist hottie instead? There you go. Exactly. Hygienist with double Ds?

What? No. Okay, a little too far. Oh, all right. Well, thank you for being honest with us. I appreciate that. We'll let Mark know. Actually, why don't you just let him know? Because if you've heard a second date update before... Oh my God. Yeah. That's right.

Mark is on the other line and wants to talk to you. Oh my God. Is that our Mark? Yeah. Hey, Courtney. I'm so sorry about that. I did not mean to offend you whatsoever with that. I mean, what did you think was going to happen? Like if I saw that? I mean, I don't know. I definitely was not planning on you seeing that.

So I think the real question is, Courtney, why big booty? Why big booty smile? Why was that your choice? Well, I was listening to some rap music, and I just big butt and a smile. No, dude. That's not true. She's got a nice butt and a great smile, and she does work at a dentist's office. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. I see how it works, though.

Do you? Yeah. So that part, it popped in my head, and I just popped it in my phone. I really didn't even think anything of it at all. I'm not like that at all. Yeah, but like big butt and a smile, it's not really that respectful. I didn't mean it like it was a bad big butt. Like what's a bad big butt?

What even is that? Bad big butt is like frumpy. You've seen them in my face. Yours is like completely opposite. It's like, you know, like frumpy, you know, like you've seen them in like, this is like completely opposite. It's nice. It's funny that you mentioned that because the whole time you were with me, I was facing you. So how did you even see my butt? Well, that's a really good question. Is there an answer? Yeah. Well, that, that one time when I was, you know, in your office, when I was dry gagging, you know, you're like, let me give you some time. I'll be right back. And when you left the office, that's when I noticed it.

Wow. Should I take that as a compliment? Yes. No, Mark. Mark, here's where you insert other things that you like about her outside of just her butt. This is when you say, yeah, but also, you are this. I know, but it was like, I'm telling you, she was in scrubs, too, so it's like,

yeah, it's really nice. If I can tell you have a nice butt in scrubs, I mean, that's... What? I mean, that's a good point. Yeah, so can we just get off my butt for a second? Is there anything else you noticed? Yeah.

Your smile. Okay, now these are the only two things that you've been able to talk about so far, Mark. Anything else you noticed? Yeah. Your smile. Okay. These are the only two things that you've been able to talk about so far, Mark. You got anything else? Well, yeah. Like I said at the very beginning, you know, like when I first saw her, she was sitting down. So obviously we can rule out that the only thing I thought about was her butt.

She was sitting down at the desk when I saw her beautiful face and I was thrown off. I was nervous. I mean, I completely made an ass of myself just trying to, like, kick her out. No pun intended. No pun intended. Oh, my gosh. And, like, you're super nice and kind. Like, you didn't make me feel like a huge idiot for, like, gagging like a freak in your office, you know? Okay, well, I do appreciate that you at least noticed that.

See? I mean, and we had a really good time at the pizza place before, you know, the whole date. S*** the bed. And that also was pun intended because I was literally s***ing everywhere. I hope somebody just tuned in right now and just heard, I was gagging all over you in your office and then I was s***ing everywhere. This date was amazing. Hey, Courtney, would you like to go out with Mark again on a second date?

Can he redeem himself? Will you go out with him one more time? We'll pay for it. I mean, I don't know. Oh, I don't blame you. It was just a shitting situation. That's just all puns. So many puns.

So many. I mean, honestly, like, I wouldn't be asking for another date with you if I didn't really think that there was something here with you. I mean, I'm on a radio station, you know, asking for a miracle because that's how much you mean to me. You know, I definitely just want another shot and see where it goes, you know, and I'm really sorry about what I thought was kind of like a funny, stupid nickname. I'll change your name in my phone right now. That's a good idea. Well, what are you going to change it to? Good question.

Courtney, the girl with the big button smile. I'm just joking. No, nobody's joking. Mark, you almost had me. No, I was joking. It's just going to be just Courtney, I promise. I mean, I have to admit, it's an unlikely story, but there is something kind of charming about this.

I do appreciate all your effort. So let's try it. Let's go on one more date and see how it goes. Yes! Oh, my goodness. Congratulations, Mark. All right. Yeah.

We did it. You wished for a miracle, and we were able to get you a miracle, and now you have a second date with Courtney. Anything is possible. Yeah. Anything is possible. Yeah. Anything is possible when you shit your pants. I think that's the saying. Broken Jubal in the morning.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too.

Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals

that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's

unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed?

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.