Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: Farmer's Market Feast

Episode Date: July 25, 2018

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts, the untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm A.J. Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for The quarterback series. podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab,

is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself? There's a guide for that, too. The Happiness Lab's How-To Season starts January 1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Need LASIK? Trust the experienced team at the LASIK Center

at Evergreen Eye Center. No glasses, no contacts, no limits. What will you do? LASIK at evergreen.com. Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubal's second date update. I don't know much about the guy who's on the phone for a second date update today, but I do know this.

He's definitely white. White? Okay. He went to a farmer's market on his first date, so that's, I'm assuming, but I'm not really totally sure. His name is Jonas. What's up, Jonas? How are you? Hey, how's it going, guys? Good. Are you white? That's not a question that we should be asking people. Yeah, I am. Okay. Nice. Sorry to perpetuate

the stereotype, but you did say you went to a farmer's market on your first date, so I just had to assume. How you doing, man? You know, honestly, I've been better. I'm a little bit confused about why I'm not hearing back from Mary. And where'd you meet Mary? Through mutual friends. She used to live here. She moved away for a job, and she recently returned, and so our mutual friends said, hey, you guys would be compatible.

So she and I started exchanging messages. Cool. Everything was great. You know, like good chemistry via text message. I know that sounds kind of crazy, but you know, you can sort of tell if somebody is like, yeah, it has a sense of humor, all that. It's important if you guys match well, as far as texts go, because that's how people communicate nowadays.

If you're with somebody who doesn't text you back or is awkward on text, it's a deal breaker for a lot of people. I think not only that, you don't want to date somebody that has too many exclamation points in every sentence. Oh, yeah. Why are you always so excited? You only use emojis. Yeah. One of those people.

So tell us about the date. You said you went to the farmer's market. How was that? It was awesome. We were walking around, eating at the different stands. There's a bluegrass band that plays, and so we stopped there and listened to that for a little bit. And then I guess we were sort of inspired by all the good food that we were looking at.

And I said, hey, I don't live too far away. You know, why don't we pick up something here and take it back to my place and we can actually make a meal instead of just eating these little bites. I think that's pretty romantic, you know, and a good segue. Did you plan that all along to do the invite back? I wish I could take that credit. No, that was a spur of the moment thing. But actually, when I thought of it, I was like, man, that's good. Yeah, right. So many people are like, farmer's market back to my place. Okay, taking notes. So what was on the menu? I'm guessing all organic ingredients locally sourced. We decided to make an eggplant parmesan.

Nice. Free-range eggplant. Fancy. Free-range? Yeah. Are you a cook? Is that something that you're into? Well, I did have to admit to her something that I didn't want to admit once we got back to my place.

What's that? What is it? Well, it's actually that I am a terrible cook. Like, I cannot cook. So you lied to her and told her that you could cook, and then you got back there with the ingredients and didn't know what to do? I technically never actually lied.

I just did say to her, I was like, you know, I'm really interested in eating this. Yeah, so she might have assumed I know how to cook this which is in fact not the case okay well because it's romantic if you're going back and a man is cooking for you not as romantic if you go back and you end up being the one that has to do all the actual work yeah you're basically like you want to make me dinner yeah well she said she likes to cook so it didn't feel like i was imposing on her but like when she got back like she definitely proved that she knew all the technical terms like she was talking about

broiling something in the oven and i'm like ah yeah your guess is as good as mine but she knew i think that's at the bottom of the oven is that like the bottom part just the top okay yep yeah i don't know what a broil is either. She was a whiz. She was like, oh, I'm going to chop this and mince that. And I was like, I don't know if there's a difference between those two things. And she's like, ugh. She sort of sighed and went ahead and did it.

But she would give me orders. She was like, just put a pinch of salt. And she was like, no, no, no, it's a dash. And I was like, what? Okay. And she said that they're like actual technical measurements, a pinch and a dash. A dash to me is Mrs. Dash, that seasoning salt. That's what I would have thought.

Yeah, exactly. That's the same to me. It sounds like she's like a really well-trained chef almost. She definitely knew her way around the kitchen and the food turned out great. So I thought we were having a great time. Okay. You thought you were having a great time, but. I I thought we were having a great time. Okay. You thought you were having a great time, but... I mean, I was having a great time.

Did it seem like she wasn't? No, she said she liked to cook, so I took her on her word. I don't know. I mean, how did the actual meal go when you were eating it? The meal was awesome. Like, I went back to get seconds and thirds, and, like, I know she had done a lot of work to make the meal, so I didn't ask her to go and get me seconds or thirds or anything like that.

Why does that even cross your mind? Of course you're going to get your own damn food. Yeah, I mean, she made the whole meal, so it's like she's been on her feet preparing it. I just didn't want her to have to get back and get a second and a third for me, so I wanted to help her out that way. That's nice of you. Yeah.

How did everything end? So much chivalry. You know, things were going so well that I asked if she wanted to stay and watch a movie and chill. She said she had plans that afternoon. And so I respected that. Has she answered any of your phone calls or text messages? No. And that's weird because when we were first texting, when our friends linked us up, like that, there was never a period in which she took more than three hours to respond, and now it's been a while, which is confusing. She definitely is blowing you off then. Yes, the vibe I'm getting, but it doesn't make sense to me.

You can't think of anything that happened during the date that would make her not want to talk to you? The only thing that I can think of is that she might have been turned off by the fact that i i made her cook everything but yeah you know she did say she likes to cook so the options seem pretty clear at that point you know what i'm saying all right well we'll play a song and then come back and call her and get your second date update okay okay thank you all right man hang on 92.5 brook and jubal in the morning second date update if you're just tuning in for today's second date update, Jonas is on the phone and he wants to call Mary. They got set up through mutual friends, went to a farmer's market, bought a bunch of food, went back to his place because he said, let's cook this stuff. But then she found out that he can't cook.

So she cooked the meal herself, basically. He said that everything went great. The only reason he thinks he's not getting a call back is because she had to cook all the food, and maybe she feels like he lied to her and tried to act like he knows how to cook when he doesn't. And you know what I think the problem is, Jonas? Hmm? After she did all that work, you didn't tip her. What?

You should have at least given her a tip. That's right. You know? Oh, you're awful. Yeah. Wait, is that like something I should have at least given her a tip. That's right. You know? Oh, you're awful. Wait, is that like something I should have actually done? No! God, no. Jonas, no. That would probably be definitely the reason you're not getting a callback

if you had tipped her. But it does bring up a good point, Jonas. Did you thank her profusely for making the meal? Oh, yeah, totally. And throughout as well, yeah. And you got second and thirds and whatever, so that also shows that you liked it, right? Absolutely.

I mean, I even gave her a high five because the eggplant, it was like perfectly cooked, and I have no idea how you would even begin to perfectly cook an eggplant. It's easy to get a spongy eggplant if you do it wrong. Yeah, honestly, I wouldn't know about that either. All right. Well, you got to learn your way around an eggplant a little better. It will help you out with a lot of things.

All right. Oh, my God. Where have we gone? I'm dialing her phone number right now, Jonas. Here we go. Oh, all right. I just hope she actually answers. Hello?

Hi, is this Mary? Yes. Hey, what's up, Mary? How are you? This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. I'm okay. Are you familiar with the show at all? Yeah, is it like a radio show or something?

Yeah, it is. Yeah! So have you ever listened to us or something? Yeah, it is. Yeah. So have you ever listened to us or no? No. Okay. That was a quick answer. So you've maybe just heard of us. Yeah.

Mary, I'm calling you today because we actually got an email about you from somebody who does listen to the show. His name is Jonas. Oh, Jonas. Yeah. And you guys went to a farmer's market a little while ago and you made him dinner, even though that wasn't necessarily probably in your plans. Yeah. Yeah. But why did he contact you? I'm pretty confused here.

Well, because we do a segment on our show. It's called the second date update. So Jonas is confused because he thought you guys had a great time, but now it's pretty obvious that you're blowing him off. Is he right about that? Yeah. He thought that maybe you were put off because you ended up having to cook for him. Yeah, that was a little annoying, but like, how much did he tell you? That's, that's definitely not the worst of it. He said your eggplant parmesan was amazing. We heard. He said you're a great cook. Yeah, that's nice.

But like, did he tell you about his pets? His what? His pets? No, no mention of any pets. You allergic to cats or something? Listen, if it was cats, he would have heard back from me. Snakes? Oh, is he a snake dude?

Listen, the guy feeds wild raccoons in his neighborhood. What? Wait, those aren't pets. Those are wild animals. Yeah. Yeah, see, I'm on that same page, but I don't think he is. Explain a little more. Okay.

I walk in, and the first thing I see is this wall of photos of raccoons. Weird. Like, artistic photos of raccoons, or, like, somebody's... Yeah, a few of them were, like, really well done, so I was like, oh, maybe he likes photography,

he went to the zoo or something. I don't know. Right. I would have left right there, because raccoons scare me no matter what. Even in picture form, I would have run out screaming. No, I mean,

I think they're totally interesting animals, but they're wild animals, you know? And then I like mentioned like, oh, that's a really cool photo. I like that. And he starts talking

about these raccoons and I'm pretty sure that he's like, you know, on a Friday popping his beer after work, like sitting on the porch with the raccoon. Why do you think that?

I mean, like, obviously he has a love for him, but why would you think that they're his pets? Did he tell you that? Let me paint you a picture of the backyard. There's a hole in the fence so that they can have easy access. Oh. There are cat toys in the yard. And no, he does not have cats. There's also cat food on the porch

and a little kiddie pool for them to swim in. Oh, my. What? So this dude actually invites raccoons into his life. It's a raccoon resort. Yeah. Yeah, straight up. I just, I mean,

super weird. I get it, but the picture of little raccoons swimming in a kiddie pool is kind of adorable. I know that they probably have rabies or something, but... They have cute little hands. Yeah, that's the thing. It's cute from a distance, but, like, I don't want to wake up

someday and have a raccoon on my chest. Yeah, I can understand that. Raccoons are scary. I don't want to meet the someday and have a raccoon on my chest. Yeah, I can understand that. Raccoons are scary. I don't want to meet the raccoons, exactly. If he loves animals so much, why doesn't he get a conventional pet? You know what? We didn't go that deep into it because I was feeling kind of weird, changed the subject.

I just was trying to steer the ship in another direction. Just away from raccoons. Away from raccoons. Okay, away from raccoons. Okay. Well, even though it sounds like you're really tired of talking about raccoons, we have to talk a little bit more about them because Jonas is actually on the other line and wants to talk to you about the date

and probably more about raccoons too. Yeah. Seriously? Wait, who? I don't understand. Who hates raccoons? Like, they're the most adorable animals around. How could you hate them?

Wait, hold on. Did you just hear everything that I just said? Yeah, and I don't understand because you didn't express any sort of hatred for raccoons when we were hanging out. You actually said, oh, that's really cute when you saw the kiddie pool. Oh, my God. You not think that a raccoon is an adorable animal they are adorable animals but they're also wild animals and you're like you're acting like they're your pets they they carry diseases they are my pets they are my pets yeah i don't bring

them into the house they don't sleep in my bed but like i take care of them yeah you give them like shots and like take them to the vet and like no monitor where they go no i understand they're wild animals but they sort of flock to me it's a family i take care of the little bandits like they're all the little bandits oh man you just completely contradicted yourself you said that they are your pets and that they're wild animals. They can't be both. That's the reality, my friend. Like, seriously. Yeah, I have a hole in my fence.

They come through that hole. I feed them. They're a loving family, and I see the new ones every year. So it's like that's what it is, and I'm happy to do it for them. And they're intensely loyal as well. Like, they are always coming back to my place. That's because you feed them. Yeah, Jonas because they think you're a food man they recognize me like they can see my face and they do have facial recognition like they're not idiot animals like they know what they're doing yeah they know who they want to murder they're not murderers they're peaceful animals i've been around my little bandits for

a number of years now and there has only been one time in which I've gotten bitten by one of them. That's enough, Jordan. Please tell me you've been to the doctor. No, I was, but that wasn't even, it wasn't their, it was not their fault. I was holding out an old egg, but I wasn't holding it properly. And so when they went to take it out of my hand, they bit part of my finger. Yeah, I went to the doctor. I was fine.

They don't have rabies. They're not just like foaming at the mouth and out of my hand. They bit part of my finger. Yeah, I went to the doctor. I was fine. They don't have rabies. They're not just like foaming at the mouth and crawling around my house. I think that everybody can agree that people who love animals are typically great people. However, I do think that maybe your obsession with raccoons could be hurting your dating life. I would call it a love, not an obsession, first off. And I've never had an issue before with anyone disliking an animal. And that's basically what this boils down to. Listen, Jonas, I don't know how deep this goes.

I feel like if I go in your closet, am I going to see a costume, a raccoon costume where you go outside and hang out with them during the day? I don't know. No, I do not have a raccoon costume. But if I did at one point have one and had since gotten rid of it, I would know that the raccoons feel comfort when they see another raccoon and it's a sense of community. I'm not doing anything strange. You know what, Jonas? I feel comfort when I'm around humans that dress like humans and not animals. So I have nothing wrong with you having your friends, but I don't think it's going to sync with me and my friends.

Are you sure, Mary? Would you like to go out on a second date with Jonas? We will pay for it. Just him. We can't pay for his whole raccoon family. That would be an expensive bill. But we will pay for you to go out with Jonas again if you go on a second date. I don't know why you're even asking me this question.

No, no, I can't. I'm sorry. I don't think there's enough room for me and all of Jonah's little bandits in the relationship. Mary, I hear what you're saying, but I'm going to give you another option before you give me a final no. Here it is. You and I go back to the farmer's market. We get a meal. I will certainly do my research beforehand so I can help you prepare it.

And then afterwards, we can go outside. I can introduce you. You can get to know them. Before you make a decision as to whether or not you want to be friends with them, I think you should know them. Second date, he already wants to introduce you to the family. Mary, are you sure? Mary, I think that's a good proposition.

I mean, what if the craziest thing happens and it's not as strange as we all think it is? Or one of them could jump up and scratch my face off. I think the likelihood is low. Mary, that's not going to happen. Again, they've only bitten me once. And that was because of a bad egg, Mary. You know what, Jonas? I just don't think so, but thanks so much for the offer. Well, Mary, thank you for your time.

And Jonas, I'm sorry it doesn't sound like you're getting another date. Hey, I don't want to date anyone who can't appreciate this friendship, so hang on. Okay, well,

text in at 78592. Do you want to hang out with Jonas and his raccoons? We'll see if we can find you somebody. I'm sure there's somebody out there for you, Jonas. Yeah, there probably is, and I don't want to meet him.

Broken Jubal in the morning. Text in at 78592 and says, she doesn't deserve a guy who loves animals like that. I'm glad they're not going out again. They're not animals. They're raccoons. They are animals. They are evil creatures.

A lot of people love them, Jubal. I know, but they shouldn't, because raccoons don't are animals. They are evil creatures. A lot of people love them, Jubal. I know, but they shouldn't because raccoons don't love you. They will kill you. Talking about today's second date update, if you missed it, this dude Jonas wanted to call a girl named Mary. They met at a farmer's market, and he thought the reason that she wasn't calling him back was because he said that he could cook, but they went back to his place. And then he had to admit that he couldn't cook any food at all, so she pretty much made dinner. But when we got her on the phone, we found out the reason that she wasn't calling him back

was because Jonas' best friends are a family of wild raccoons that he invites to come into his backyard. He feeds them, he leaves toys for them, he even has photos on his wall of the raccoons. He just loves this family of raccoons.

And, you know, it sounded strange at first, but we're getting so many text messages in of other people who feed raccoons and want to hang out with Jonas and his little bandits. Yeah, a lot of people are into it. Well, you shouldn't feed wild animals. That's a whole other discussion. But, you know, some people love raccoons. I've seen them as pets before.

I don't understand it. Raccoons are scary to me. They lumber down city streets. They eat your garbage and they wait for you to walk down the street late at night so they can bite your ankles and give you rabies. And that should be your type of animal. That's what I don't understand why you hate them so much. It's like you're describing what you would do if you were an animal. I don't know if I'd bite people and give them rabies.

You'd definitely lumber late at night. I would do that. Yeah, see? Yeah, I've done that before. And you'd bite people and give them. You definitely lumber late at night. I would do that. Yeah. Yeah. I've done that before. Sketchy man. You'd be all sketchy out there in a garbage can. Maybe I do like them.

Yeah. Anyway, Mary said no to a second date because she doesn't feel like there's enough room in his life for her and the raccoons. So they're not going out again. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Moving 92.5. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in

our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history.

I'm A.J. Stephens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the Quarterback Series. My co-host, Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love.

Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. Struggling with tough emotions emotions we have a how-to guide worried that you're not enough we got you self-obsessed and want to get over yourself there's a guide for that too the happiness labs how-to season starts january 1st

listen on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts