Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: Fishin Chick Has The Herp

Episode Date: December 28, 2018

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iHeartRadio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts need LASIK trust the experienced team at the LASIK center at evergreen eye center

no glasses no contacts no limits what will you do LASIK at evergreen.com nothing is more romantic than taking your date out into the wilderness and having them help you commit murder. I think that is probably one of the most beautiful ways you can experience time with the person you're on a date with. And that's what happened with Amelia, who's

on the phone. Apparently, her first date with this guy named Greg, they went fishing together. That's not murder! A lot of fish died that day. I'm sure there's a lot of listeners out there that would agree with me. A lot of fish had to lose their life so that this couple could enjoy their afternoon. Amelia, how are you? I'm good, thanks. How are you? Did you murder a lot of fish that day? No, you know what? Actually, we did catch and release. So the fish that we caught, we put back. Oh, that's boring. So you actually just, you mangled them is what you did.

Yes. We disfigured them for life. All right. So your email said that this guy took you fishing. Was that fun? Are you a fisherman? It was fun. No, I'm not a fisher woman. I had never been fishing, but it was really fun. He actually suggested it because in my profile i said that i like nature and hiking and stuff so i was like absolutely that sounds super cool i'm open to new experiences so we met at a state park where you can go fishing and for the next few hours i just i had the best time i think genuinely it it was one of the best and most fun first dates I've ever had. I think it's such a great idea.

I mean, you have so much time to talk, right? You can connect on that level for sure. Exactly. And he was super nice and so helpful. What's his name, by the way? Greg. All right. And so you and Greg just had a wonderful time out there mangling fish

and then tossing them back into their environment. So they go to their other fish buddies and go, dude,'t know i was just swimming along some chick and a dude just put a hook in my cheek i don't know what happened yeah it was just the best day of your life ever doing that it was super romantic mangling fish okay what did you like about him so much well first of all he's really rugged and manly and i i love guys love guys like that. Yeah. Amen. But he was really considerate and a total gentleman, you know, really respectful and nice to me all day. And you were cool learning how to fish,

right? You didn't like scream when the fish got up and say that you didn't want to touch it or anything like that. Well, I did scream and it was, I thought the fish were pretty gross. Did he seem to like that or not? Because I know some dudes like to be in that situation where it's like,

yeah, I took this girl out and had to teach her how to fish. She's such a dainty little girl. I have no idea. She needs a man's help. And some guys, that turns off. They're like, ugh, I like a girl who can do that on her own. I mean, he thought I was funny. We were laughing a lot, and he was so nice.

He just would take the fish and throw them back in the water. Like, he didn't say anything, like, calm down or, you know, anything like that. But maybe it did turn him off because it's been a couple weeks, and he hasn't called me back. How did everything end for you guys? Did you make out? Did you do more than that without cleaning up after fishing? Sorry, I guess I don't need that last detail. We, no problem.

I won't, I won't get with you. Well, there's really not that much to talk. We just like had a nice little kiss. Nothing crazy, no make out. So you guys did kiss. I mean, that's super romantic. No, it wasn't super romantic. It was just like a nice kiss.

I don't know. Well, in my head, I picture you like making out with Brad Pitt and a river runs through it. And there's fish are jumping everywhere. Yes, exactly. There's rainbows hitting the water. I mean, no, it wasn't like that. I mean, we were next to this pickup truck and we both smelled like fish. Almost.

Yeah, almost. All right. And then how did you guys part ways? Well, after we kissed, I couldn't help myself. I just said, hey, I'd really love to go out again. I just said it because, you know, why not? Yeah, of course. Nothing to lose.

And he said, for sure, hit me up. And I thought that was a little weird. Yeah. Like a little weird. Yeah. Like a little maybe brush, you know, just like giving me the brush off. Maybe. I don't know. It's kind of open ended, you know, not like, yeah, definitely. How about this day? It's like, yeah, whatever. Contact me. I'll be around. Or if you really wanted to go out with someone, you think that you would take charge and be like, yeah, I will call you. Yes. Right. Because he was already such a gentleman. I figured he would say, like, yes, I'll call.

And have you hit him up since your date? Yeah. I waited a couple days, and then I called him, and I left him a message. And I just said, what a great time I had, and I'd love to see him again. All right. And you can't think of, like, anything awkward that happened on the date? I guess the only thing is is maybe i'm too girly and i've screamed and i thought the fish were kind of gross but it seemed like i thought we

had a great time together like both of us so well we'll play a song come back call him and get your second date update okay okay all right hang on 92.5 bro Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Second date update. Dating is a lot like fishing. You know? You reel some in. You're like, that one's too big.

That one's too small. Yeah. That one's got a wonky eye. What? Oh. This one has a drinking problem Damn fish And you fish and you fish and you fish

Until you finally find that one That has an extra large mouth And you settle down with that one For the rest of your life And that's The problem that the girl on the phone is having today For her second date update She's hoping that the guy she calls will be that big bass with a large mouth

who knows how to treat her right. But sadly, he's not calling her back. If you're just tuning in for the second date update, Amelia is on the phone. She wants to call Greg today. They went fishing on their first date. She thinks the reason she's not getting a call back was because maybe she was a little too girly for him. He's an outdoorsy kind of guy

and she hasn't fished before and when they caught a fish, she screamed, I was like, ew, yucky. And she thinks maybe that turned him off a little bit because he doesn't want a girly girl. I didn't say ew, yucky. I just it wasn't that bad. I just screamed a little bit. If it turns

out that that is the reason that he's not calling you back, are you willing to kind of buck up and be a little bit. If it turns out that that is the reason that he's not calling you back, are you willing to kind of buck up and be a little bit more outdoorsy? I just want him to know that I can totally be tough and nature girl too. Like, I'm not just like a priss, you know?

You sound like it. Could be real tough and nature-y. Alright. I'm dialing his phone number right now. Here we go. Okay. Hello? Hi, is Greg there?

Yeah, this is Greg. Hey, Greg, how are you? My name is Jubal. I host a morning radio show called Brook and Jubal in the Morning. Okay. How are you the Morning. Okay. How are you doing today? Okay. It's a segment we do on our show called The Second Date Update.

It's where if you go out on a date with somebody and then end up blowing them off, they email us to ask if we can call you and find out why. So her name is Amelia. Oh, God. That is not the response that amelia emailed us and asked if we could call you because she said that she enjoyed going fishing with you but hasn't heard a word from you since who cares who cares well we care and amelia obviously cares because she went through all the effort to try to get us to do this phone call. Look, that person is nobody I want to

talk to or hang out with or talk about. That is really extreme. What did she do that's so bad? I mean, we actually talked to her a little bit. She sounded perfectly nice. She sounded lovely, actually. She sounded fun. Yeah.

I really don't want to talk about it. I don't know. She knows what she did. She doesn't, though. That's the thing. Like, she thinks that everything was great on the date. Oh, really? She has got no idea what the problem could be.

That's hilarious. Nope. She says you guys went fishing and had a good time, even kissed at the end of everything, and she thought she could hit you up to go out again, and now you're not responding to her. And obviously you don't like her one bit. Yeah, no, that's correct. I don't. I caught a little bit more than a fish that day.

What do you mean? We kissed. Two days later, I wake up. Bang, I got a cold sore. What? You think that she gave you... Yeah, she did. I'm not kissing anybody else except her.

Oh, my God. Did she have a cold sore when you guys were out? Not visible, but I didn't, like, put on some gloves and check her mouth or anything. You know, like, those are incredibly common, and the virus could have been dormant in you for a long time, and then maybe stress brought it out or something. A long time, like my whole life? Like, I've never had this before.

I kiss her, boom, mouth measles. So you think that she gave you a colosaur, and that's the only reason you're not calling her back? That's a pretty good reason. I mean, she gave me herpes. Isn't there other ways you can get that, though? Like sharing glasses or chapsticks or anything? Yeah, it's common. I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I'm not sharing glasses or chapstick with anybody.

Why don't you hit her up and ask her if she has a cold sore? Well, she says, like, yes or no, it doesn't get my cold sore out of my face. Okay, so you have a cold sore, Well, she says yes or no, it doesn't get my cold sore out of my face. Okay, so you have a cold sore and that's it. What do you mean that's it? It's a f***ing cold sore. Okay, so obviously you never want to talk to her again then. No, absolutely not.

That's unfortunate because she's actually on the phone listening to this conversation. What? She's on the phone? Yeah, hi, Greg. Yeah. I did not give you a cold sore. All right, well, then who did?

The fish? Yeah, maybe the fish or maybe you kissed somebody and you forgot about it. I don't know. I never met you before. I must have a pretty exciting life if I'm kissing people

and forgetting about it. Well, that's between you and you. And also, you should know that you can only get a cold sore if you can see a cold sore on somebody's face and then you kiss the cold sore. For someone who's never had a cold sore before, you sure are an expert. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Greg. You sure are an expert. Oh my god. Oh my god, Greg. My friends are listening to this.

You tricked me into this radio thing. I'm just telling the truth. I didn't give it to you. I've never had a cold sore in my life. This is not in any way going to affect your life or the length of your life. You realize that, Greg? I don't know that. I mean, who knows where

things go? All I know is I got a thing on my face. This lady, put that in quotes, this lady gave it to me. Now she's, like, mad that I don't call her back. Why? Because she's got some more to do than she wants to pass on? You can't say stuff like that on the radio, Greg. First of all, it's not true. But if you say things like that, people I know are listening,

they're going to think it's true, and it's so, it's just rude, and it's so totally inconsiderate. Well, look, whatever it takes to get you to go to a doctor and get checked out, because it sounds like that is what is needed here. This is so extreme. You know what?

You know what, Greg? How about this? I will go with you to the clinic to get tested to prove to you that I do not have the herpes virus. Happy? Does that make you happy? No. How does that make me happy? I don't want to hang out with you some more and go to a clinic. That sucks.

What if we do that for your second date? Hey, Greg, would you like to go with Amelia to the clinic? That sucks. What if we do that for your second date? Hey, Greg, would you like to go with Amelia to the clinic? We can even do like a not free one and I'll pay for it. Wow. You know what? I'm going to pass, but Amelia should definitely go on that date by herself. Come on, Greg. What, are you afraid?

Are you afraid of being wrong? Go to the clinic with me. Get tested. What's the harm? You know you already have a cold sore like the virus, but you don't know that I do. I'm just afraid what else we might find out. I mean, who knows? Maybe you got some kind of like weird mouth scabies or something.

That's my endowment. I go to the clinic. I get re-diagnosed or something. You know what? How about this? Since Jubal was so nice and agreed to pay for the clinic, we should go. You should get tested. It'll be free.

And then if I'm the person who has the virus and gave it to you, I will buy you lunch. Hey! You're going to buy me lunch? Yeah. Yeah, I'll buy you lunch. If I'm the one who gave you a cold serve, the least I can do is buy you lunch. Not a date. Don't worry about that. But just to say I'm the one who gave you a cold serve, the least I can do is buy you lunch, not a date. Don't worry about that.

But just to say I'm sorry. All right, but it's going to be like a steak place. Lunch or lunch? Whatever you want. Fine. Deal. All right. Well, look at that. It's a successful second date update.

As long as Amelia tests positive for herpes on their date to the clinic, Greg gets a free lunch. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Text in at 78592 that says somebody needs to school this idiot. And if there's one place that can school you on herpes, it's us. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Talking about today's second date update, Amelia wanted to call this guy named Greg who wasn't calling her back after they went fishing together. We got him on the phone. And the reason he wasn't calling back, he swears that she gave him a cold sore.

And he doesn't want any other diseases from her because she's clearly filthy. Yes. If she's got cold sores. But she didn't even have a cold sore on her mouth at all. Yeah. So he didn't want to go out with her again because he assumes that she gave him a cold sore. Oh, man. There's so much information about cold sores coming in on the text board right now.

I don't even, I don't know now what's true and what's not true. It can be dormant for your whole life and then stress makes it come out. Well, most people have that virus in their body. Okay, I knew Jubal would help me out on this one. Sometimes your immune system goes down, you get tired and you can get a cold sore. So it's like shingles or something. What? Wait, gonorrhea. I don't know So it's like shingles or something. What? Wait, gonorrhea.

I don't know. Now I'm all confused. Syphilis? Remember, if you want a second date update, all you have to do is email the show, and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Move at 92.5. I'm going to text in at 78592 that says, I want to see the test results. And I do too.

Talking about today's second date update, if you missed it, Amelia wanted to call this dude named Greg. They went out fishing for their date, and he caught more than a fish on their first date because he caught a cold sore. He caught something. And he swore that she gave him a cold sore, and Amelia says it wasn't her,

and she even volunteered to take a test to prove that she was clean. At the end of the call, they actually agreed to go to the clinic together. I cannot believe that. And if she actually did give him herpes, then she said she would buy him a steak lunch. So, sort of a second date. They're going to go to the clinic and get tested, and if she was the one that gave him

herpes, then they're going out again, I guess. Sort of a win if you get herpes. I mean, like, you still get a steak dinner out of the deal. Not very many people get that. Exactly. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show, and we will call the person who gave you herpes. Or didn't call you back. However that goes. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are

out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature

wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.