Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: Im With The Landscaper

Episode Date: June 22, 2018

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Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story.

And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell

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Do you think landscapers are good at manscaping? Good question. I don't know, but I do know somebody who might know. Her name is Olivia, and she's on the phone right now for a second date update. And apparently she went out with her landscaper. So we're going to answer that age-old question in a moment, hopefully. What's up, Olivia? Hey, how are you guys?

I'm all right, how are you? It set you up to really be the... I thought she was the manscaper. What would you call it? The critic of the hedges? I don't know. Olivia, you hold all the knowledge when it comes to landscapers and manscaping, and we're going to ask you that question in a second. Hopefully, you know it. I don't know how your date went, but your email said that you went out with your landscaper. Yeah, I actually hired this new company to do my landscaping. And when Austin is his name, when he showed up, I was like a little, well, pleasantly shocked. I mean, it sounds like a bad romance novel come to life is what it sounds like. I know. I know. It's like so cliche. It really is. But he was young and so good looking. Like just like muscles and oh my gosh. Oh my god you're

getting hot right now. How much younger is he? I would say he's at least five years younger than me. We never really talked about his age but. Okay crazy younger though it's not like you're 50 and he's like 18 no no no he's definitely a man like for sure man through and through she can barely say that oh man how did you end up getting a date with him did you hit on him while he was working on your house or you hit him up later? No, I did. I kept staring at him from my window and I'm like, oh my gosh. Is he creepy? Oh my gosh. Yeah, like total stalker or something. But he was getting hot, like literally and physically.

And I was like, I have this environment for a drink. Of course. It's hot out here. You want some lemonade? Yeah. Oh, boy. How did my top fall off? That's unfortunate.

I got to learn to button buttons better. Is that what you're talking about? It wasn't lemonade. It was Sprite. Totally different. Oh, okay. One's carbonated. One's not.

Okay. Totally different. Oh, okay. One's carbonated, one's not. Okay, so anyway, he came in and flirting led to him literally... Wait, what? Hold up. First day on the job, you hooked up with a landscaper? I did. Oh, my God. I did. This is an adult film now.

Yeah. I'm in the wrong line of work, too. So is this the date, then? Or did you guys go out? No. He left. But before he left, he was like, hey, you should come hang out at this bar. You know, I'm going to hang out with my buddies.

But you can come by. We'll play pool. I was like, you know, why not? So later that night, I met him at the bar. Oh, so you guys did have hangout time. Yes. You know, we played pool. I was like, you know, why not? So later that night, I met him at the bar. Oh, so you guys did have hangout time? Yes. You know, we played pool. His buddies were there. They were really cool. How did he introduce you? He just said, this is Olivia. I mean, there was no pretense or just kind of like, oh, we're hanging out. I was wondering if he put you in like the client box or if he put you in the friend box. I think it was, like, the friend box.

Okay. Yeah. I just said Olivia. Okay. So you hung out with him at the bar, and did you like him as a person, too, and not just a piece of landscape meat? Well, I mean, yeah. He was cool. Like, it was just really casual and fun.

Like, kind of, like, adventurous. Like, I never do this. I never do like, kind of, like, adventurous. Like, I never do this. I never do this. But I was like, why not? But then he disappeared. Like, we're having fun, a couple drinks in. But he's really cool, like I said. But I was like, where did he go?

Like, where's Austin? And they were like, I don't know. I don't know. And I didn't want to be, like, uncool, like the old lady here hanging out. So I just kind of like sat back and thought, okay, he'll come back. Half an hour later, no sign of him. I have no idea where he went. So he just ditched out?

Did you text him? I texted him nothing. Nothing. Nothing. You haven't heard anything from him since then? No. So wait, why are we calling him though? Because I feel like you should just chalk this up to like awesome, lived out of fantasy.

Let's move on with life. I kind of like, I mean, I kind of want to do it. I don't know. You want more? You want more of Austin? That's fine. That's understandable. Yeah.

Why not just book a regular like Tuesday for Austin to come by your house and do the art and you? Oh my God. I totally thought about that. But I'm like, Tuesday for Austin to come by your house and do the art and you. Oh, my God. I totally thought about that. But I'm like, that's just embarrassing. Like, no, I can't. Yeah, that's desperate. That's creepy.

Right. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Can you just come hang out in my yard so I can stare at you through the window? Do you have any idea why he would have ditched you? No. I think something's happened and maybe he's embarrassed or I don't know. Okay. Well, we'll play a song and then come back and call him and get your second date update. Okay. Okay. All right. Hang on. 92.5. Brook and Jubal in the morning. Second date update.

Oh my, would you look at that? My shrubbery is getting long. And there are just leaves piled throughout this yard. Why, I wish I could get someone to come over here and blow those leaves out and maybe trim my shrubbery. Did somebody call the landscaper? Sorry if my leaf blower was a little too loud there, ma'am. Oh, my. Well, you did startle me with it. But might you be able to work on my weeds, too? Yes, I can, ma'am. Oops. Looks like I trimmed a little too close and I just weed whacked your pants off.

Oh, dear. It looks like you did. How are we going to handle this situation? I got an idea. I got an idea too. Is that another weed whacker or was that them making out at the end? I think that was them making out. I'm not sure, but that is play-by-play of Olivia's first date.

She's on the phone for a second date update, and she wants to call a dude named Austin. Austin is a landscaper. He showed up to work on her yard, and she had very lustful eyes and invited him in for soda, and then they hooked up. They also made plans to go out later that night to a bar, and she showed up to the bar. He was there with his friends, but at a certain point he just disappeared and she hasn't heard a word from him. So we're about to get him on the phone and find out what happened. You ready to go, Olivia?

I'm ready. Oh my. Yeah. After that reenactment, she's got to be ready. It's like you lived it all over again, didn't you, Olivia? Yeah. A little bit. What's the worst possible scenario right now?

They didn't like me, you know? He just changed his mind. Yeah, maybe he thought it was cool when you guys hooked up, and then he had to hang out with you at the bar, and maybe he just didn't click with you. Yeah, but that's so low to just leave. I hate that. All right, well, let's find out.

I'm going to call him right now and see if we can get your answer. Here we go. Hello? Hi, man. Speak to Austin, please. Yeah, speaking. Austin, how are you, man? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning,

the radio show. Brook and what? Brook and Jubal in the Morning. It's a morning radio show. Okay. I kind of don't listen to the radio, so I've never heard of you guys. Sorry. No, it's all good, man.

I'm calling you today, though, because we actually got an email into our show about you. What? Yeah. It's a segment we do on our show it's called the second date update that's where if you go out on a date with somebody and then end up blowing them off they can email us and we'll get that person on the phone and hopefully find out why they're not calling them back and you recently met a woman named olivia oh yeah Okay, wait. Wait a minute. She emailed you about me and her?

Yeah. She told us about how you came over to work on her house because you do landscaping, right? Yeah, but... Apparently you do more than that. Full service. We heard you are hot. Yeah. Well, I...

Like, why would she call the radio show? I don't know, because she wants to see you again. She said she really enjoyed your initial experience with her when you came over to work on her house, and then she said she liked hanging out with you at the bar, but you just disappeared, and she hasn't heard from you. Yeah, but I just don't get why she would want to make this business public. I don't think that she's ashamed by any of it.

Okay. No, no, no, no, no. That's not what I mean. What do you mean? I mean, I just don't know why she would want that out there, but all right. Sounds like it was fun i mean it was until you know we were at the bar later on and uh we were shooting some pool and i went to go get some uh another round of drinks and this guy comes up to me you know never seen this guy before in my life but he he bows up on me and he

says i know you slept with my wife wait what wife yeah exactly i'm like what uh i don't know what you're talking about this guy says that he followed her to the bar from the house saw her hanging out with me knew that something had happened and like i i was like you know i was questioning it like is this guy messing with me? You know, so I asked him some questions. You know, I asked him a little bit about the house. He knew everything about the house. He knew everything about the lawn.

You know, and I... Wow. But that's... So, you think Olivia is married? Yeah. So why would she call us? I now have the same questions that you do. Yeah, why would she want this out there? And that's what I'm saying. I have no idea why she would want this out

in public unless she, you know, I don't know. But there's got to be more to the story because she would have seen, I mean, if she is in fact married, I don't know for sure that I even believe that yet. If she is married, she would have seen her husband at the bar talking to you. Thing is, the pool is in its own area in the bar. So it's like in another room. So she might not have actually seen him. That would be so weird for him to just approach you and not approach her. Like what kind of self-control do you have to have? I don't know. Maybe she maybe he did, but he was basically just talking to me. And, yeah, he threatened me. He basically said, you know, you're not seeing her anymore.

You're not talking to her. What? He basically said that I couldn't, like, landscape at the place anymore. Oh, damn. He lost a client, too. After all that, like, I don't want to get in any more trouble with my job. So I took off. I was out.

Yeah, understandable. But why didn't you respond to her text messages like, hey, I'm not writing back because you have a husband? I'm not getting in the middle of that. Like, I didn't mean to get in the middle of it in the first place. But, you know, after I met the guy, it's like, no, I'm not going to be texting with his wife. That is awful, Austin.

I feel like she can't be married if she's willing to do a second date update with us and everything else. There's got to be more to the story. I don't know. I know who does know. It's Olivia. And she's actually on the other line listening and wants to talk to you. Unless she's hung up. Olivia, are you there?

Yeah, I'm here. What are you doing? I'm not married. I don't know what you're talking about or who you're talking about. Are you 100% sure? Are you sure? I mean, yeah. I'm not married.

Why would I call them? If I were married, that would be stupid. I mean, it's pretty stupid unless you think you're getting away with it. I mean, your husband knows. I don't have a husband. I'm not married. Are you divorced? Do you have a crazy ex-boyfriend? Have you hooked up with anyone else recently? I don't know who this guy is.

But he knew everything about you. In the house. This dude is 5'10". He's got brown hair. He was wearing a plaid shirt. He's got a tattoo on the forearm. Does it say Olivia? Like, literally, you're describing every guy at the bar.

I mean, that's like, I'm not married. I have no idea. Well, I don't know. It just seemed legit to me. Look, Austin, didn't we have a good time? That's what you should be thinking about. Like, it was good, right? That part of it, yeah, but your husband also saw that, too.

What? What? He saw? He was watching. What? When he was talking to me at the bar, he said, I saw what you did. How could we see? Apparently they got some sort of drop cam in the house and he saw it. Olivia, are you married? He set up a camera? What do you mean

he set up a camera? It sounds like you know something, Olivia. Yeah, who's he? No, I mean, that's not what I meant. You are lying. You're married. You are lying. No, no. You are cheating on your husband. I just meant like who's going to set up a camera?

I mean, like he set up a camera? Like who does that? That's what I meant. Okay, it sounds, Olivia, like you just slipped. That's what it sounds like. And how dare you put Austin in that position? And us. It's not what you think.

It's complicated. Oh, is it? Okay, so now things are starting to come out a little bit because you misspoke there, Olivia. Don't try to paint me as this bad person. You don't know me. Okay, but we don't know you. Olivia. Don't try to paint me as this bad person. You don't know me. Okay, but we don't know you.

Because we thought you were like just single, living in a house, hooking up with the landscaper. And we find out that you have a husband. You have no idea what my life is like. And it's complicated. There's more to the story. Well, don't bring other people into your mess. Keep your mess to yourself if it's that complicated. You know what? If you were in my shoes, you would have done the same thing. Okay, so now

you're admitting it. You have a husband. No. Get it to four. You just said you would have done the same thing, which means that you cheated on your husband with Austin. No, that I do with a hot guy is what I'm saying. While married. Oh, yeah. I'm not playing your stupid games

anymore. This is over. Oh my god! Hello? Wow. Hey, Austin. I am sorry, Austin. I am sorry for doubting your story. Sounds like she's sure married and that dude you talked to was her husband.

Listen, I'm usually all for that kind of stuff, but I don't't austin don't say that yeah i can understand that oh that is crazy the thing is austin you think about there's videotape of you out there now oh see i i just don't want to get in trouble with my job that's the thing and if my boss found out that I did that again, then he'd be totally upset. Again? Again, Austin. Yeah, man. I think you maybe have learned your lesson now. Text in at 78592

says, how do I get a job at Austin's company? I really want to work there. Talking about today's second date update. If you didn't hear it, Olivia hired a landscaper to take care of her yard. That's the person who called in to get a second date update. If you didn't hear it, Olivia hired a landscaper to take care of her yard. That's the person who called in to get a second date update. And she actually ended up hooking up with him at her house.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like something out of a really bad adult movie. Yeah, right. But it happened. And then later that night, she met up with him at a bar where she met some of his friends. But then 30 minutes after that, he disappeared. Yeah. So we got her on the phone, and we got him on the phone, and we talked to him,

and he claims that he was confronted at the bar by a man who was her husband, and that that dude has video of them hooking up in the house. She denied it at first, but then she actually kind of slipped up, because he mentioned the video camera thing. And instead of being like, what? That's weird. She went, he has cameras set up? I know.

And then we caught on to that and called her out for it. And then she continued to deny that she was married until she was like, it's complicated. So basically, she's cheating on her husband, probably, And didn't think that he would find out So she thought Why not do a second date update To see if I can track down this landscaper again She is bold That is a bold move

Or she just wants to get caught You know Like some people just want to get caught Yeah But I hate it when cheaters get caught And then they always act like Don't judge me I know

You don't know You don't know me You don't know me I'm a cheater I enjoy cheating It's what I do You don't know me. You don't know me. I'm a cheater. I enjoy cheating. It's what I do. You don't know me. And every cheater says that.

Like, it's not an original thought or statement either. But there's also so many people that are asking to hire Austin's landscaping service. Oh, gosh. There's a lot of people. We're getting so many texts. I'm in need of some work. Mm-hmm. Okay, only if you're single, okay?

There's a lot of people looking to hire Austin because even at the end of it, he's like, dude, I don't want any of this because I can't let my boss find out again. Again? Again. Well, and his name's Austin. I've never met an Austin that wasn't hot.

Really? There's a lot of hot Austins out there. There's a lot of that. So if you're looking at hiring a landscaping company, I guess just call them up and see if there's an Austin that out there. There's a lot of that. So if you're looking at hiring a landscaping company, I guess just call him up and see if there's an Austin that works there. And then that's probably

the place you want to call because he definitely aims to please. And I have a feeling that Austin is not going to be able to stay away from it. No.

Like he sounds like the kind of dude that like if you hit on him no matter who you are and he's landscaping he will try to sleep with you. Fine. Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

All right. I'll do it again. I mean, it's kind of fun so she lied to us to get him on the phone and we found out that yeah she's probably cheating on her husband yeah so she's lying to her husband more than she lied to us so yeah but her husband knows and it's weird that her husband didn't confront her he must be just waiting weird for like the perfect opportunity or just happened so often that he's exhausted from it. He's like, whatever. It means I have to find new landscapers.

Those guys are doing such a good job. He calls up someone, hey, you guys have any ugly, bad landscapers or something? Just some really unattractive landscapers. That's what I'm looking for. That probably doesn't even matter, so I'll stick with them anyway. I'll just keep going through

every single landscaping company in town. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show, and we will call the person that didn't call you back. Moving 92.5. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more.

Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday.

Yeah, we're moms, but not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast. last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. I had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell

my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.