Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: Kip Kip Hooray

Episode Date: July 11, 2018

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Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme.

Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You've got to check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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A guy named Kipling is on the phone today for a second date update. He sounds very high class. Yes, he does. Kipling. Apparently, he does. Kipling. Apparently, he's not very good at dating. Doesn't date a whole lot, and he's afraid that his nerves might have got the best of him on his first date.

Kip, how you doing? Good, good. Can I call you Kip? Yes, actually. Kip is... Most people call me Kip. Okay. I don't know why, I just don't want to call you Kipling the whole time. I know, it just sounds weird. I don't know why, but it sounds weird.

It rolls off the tongue weird. Yeah, it's kind of, yeah, it's a weird name. Okay. So, Kip, now I want to call you Kipling every time. I mean, you can if you want to. All right. And Kip, remember, you're getting made fun of by a guy named Jubal. So, you're fine, dude.

Oh, okay. All right. Well, Kip, remember, you're getting made fun of by a guy named Jubal. So you're fine, dude. Oh, okay. All right. Well, Kip, Kipling, whatever. Just tell us about your first date a little bit. What's the problem? Okay. Well, so I don't generally date a lot, like for the most part. Okay.

I just don't go on a lot of dates. I don't do the whole online dating thing just because it's weird and hard. But anyways, this friend of mine at work, she sort of showed me this, her friend Mona, she was showing me pictures of her. It sounds to me like you're trying to say your friend from work hooked you up with a date. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I not explaining that right? Well, I mean, you did. It just sounds like you're a little nervous maybe and kind of all over the place. Okay, sorry.

Okay. Yeah, you're fine, man. You're doing a really good job. You're here with friends. Kip will help you out. So your friends set you up with a lady. Right. My friend set me up with this girl,

and we talked on the phone, and we decided to go to a restaurant. And, you know, I picked a really nice restaurant because I wanted to impress her. I mean, she looked really cute. I hadn't been on a date in a while, and, you know, I wanted to impress her. Take her somewhere where they have silverware. Yeah. Yeah.

Nice. I think that's a good move. Classy. A woman will always love you if you feed her well. Well, I guess, right? But I got there late. I misjudged the traffic, and I got there like 15, maybe 20 minutes late. Oh, wow.

That is a lot late. Like five minutes is okay, but if you're 15 minutes late. Yeah, that's a long time to wait. Did you text her and say hey run in a little bit behind no I didn't want to text while I was driving I don't know when to do that back to your date Kim how did she react when you were that late did she seem upset by that she seemed fine with it she she was really nice about it but I was already so nervous because I was late.

And then this thing happened. Well, I guess I was surprised by the size of her. She had a really big chest area. Oh, okay. Okay. Wait. That'll happen. That'll happen sometimes.

She had boobs is what you're saying, big ones. Brooke! Yeah, and I wasn't it's not I wasn't bothered by it obviously but I would I just sometimes I would catch myself you know not talking or looking at her face and I was just really nervous and so at one point I feel like I overcompensated and then I just stared too much at her face is it it's kind of like when somebody has a weird growth on their face or something and you're like, I can't look at it.

And then you keep catching yourself looking at it. Yeah, but like if that was on her chest. She had two, I guess, apparently. She had giant growths. Did you actually address the problem or did you guys not talk about it? I'm serious. No, no, no. That she had big boobs?

No. Well, I mean, I have not a huge chest, but I have a larger top half. And, you know, when somebody's staring, sometimes I'll just ask, you know, hey, up here. Well, if you're asking me if I went online and looked at pictures of you, I haven't. What? No, I don't think she's saying that at all. I think she's saying, did it ever get brought up that you were having trouble paying attention to the conversation because of your date's boobs? Oh.

No, I thought that Brooke was asking me if I'd ever seen her chest because it's larger. No. No, she wasn't. But, hey, you can always go to the website after the second date update is done and look if you want. No. Okay. Okay.

Oh my gosh, Kev. All right. So did she make any reference to you staring at her chest or not staring at her chest? No. No, not that I remember. I didn't. I mean, no.

So it was just something that you were self-conscious about on the date. Yeah, and then I was self-conscious that I was self-conscious about it. Yeah. So the whole time, that's all you were thinking about is don't look too long at her boobs. Oh, crap, I looked at her boobs. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

And then I was thinking about looking at her boobs, and it was just... It was just downhill for you. Did you hear a word that she said on the date? I mean, I know at one point she was talking about swimming, but I have no idea what that was about. How long did you spend at dinner staring at her breasts? Well, so that was the thing. I thought that, I don't know, in my mind, I thought dinner and drinks would last like three hours. And then we were done by like 45 minutes so i started to panic and i was you know suggesting a bunch of activities like you want to go bowling or i don't know i just was suggesting these

activities and she kind of wasn't really into it she said no she had to go and meet a friend and so you know i i walked her to her car and i didn't get a chance to like try to kiss her or anything because she was getting in her car and then then then I asked her if I could call her but she was closing the door I don't know if she heard me or not so do you walk into her car and she didn't really say much to you and close the door in your face because that's what it sounds like well it wasn't that bad I was just a little nervous and so by the time I you know worked up the courage to just ask if I could call her, she was closing the door. I picture her driving out of the parking lot.

Like, can I call you? No. Okay. And then she squealed off. Kind of. Kim, you sound like a really nice guy talking to you, but your description of the date sounds like you acted like an awkward perv. Yes. No, I wasn't. I wasn't being pervious. Just

that was what was on my mind about her. And I don't date a lot. And I thought that this girl was really nice. And we kind of had a nice time. I just was hoping you guys could help me figure out like what went wrong. Okay, we can definitely do that. What we'll do is we'll play a song, come back, call her and get your second date update. Okay. Okay. Thanks, guys. Okay, we can definitely do that. What we'll do is we'll play a song, come back, call her, and get your second date update, okay? Okay, thanks, guys. Okay, hang on. Moving 92.5.

Brooke and Jubal in the Morning's Second Date Update. I can honestly say, out of all the second date updates we've ever done, the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of second date updates, I've never wanted anybody

to get a second date more than my man Kipling, who's on the phone right now to do a second date update. It's the story of an underdog. You might know him as the Kipmeister, the Kipinator, Mr. Kipplesworth. Kipling is on the phone right now.

He's a great dude, but he got a little nervous on his first date Because he was ambushed By a woman With big bazooms How dare she And that will happen from time to time Kip was not ready for it

If you were listening to the first part of the second date update Kip explained that he has not dated very much He went out with a girl That he met through a co-worker, and when he met her at the restaurant, which he was 15 minutes late to, by the way, she actually had a very large chest, and Kip was nervous the whole time and couldn't pay attention. He barely heard a word she said. She ended the date by just hopping in the car and leaving, and he hasn't spoken to her since.

Kipling, are you ready? Yeah. I hope you can work your magic or do your thing, you know? Well, we'll see if we can do our thing here. I'm going to dial the phone right now, okay? Okay. Okay.

Hello? I was looking for Mona. Yeah, this is her. Hello, Mona. My name is Jubal, and I host a radio show called Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Okay. Cool. Have you ever heard the show before at all?

Yeah, no, I mean, I've heard of you. I just don't listen that often. Okay, cool. Well, you may have never listened really before, but you're actually on the show right now. What do you mean? I mean that one of our listeners actually sent us an email about you. About me? Yep.

Really? Yep, and they said all nice things, too. That's great. What's it about? It's about a date that you went on recently. Really? Yeah. You went on a date with a guy named Kipling. Oh, wow. Yeah. You mean Kip? I do. Yes, I do. And he actually emailed us because he wanted us to get a hold of you. I guess you're not calling him back

since your date and he's confused? Yeah. Is there a reason why you don't want to go out with him again? I mean, he seemed like a really sweet guy, but I could just tell he was really, really nervous. Like, anxiously nervous. Like, kind of extremely awkward. On a scale of 1 to 10 of the most awkward dates you've

ever been on, how was this date? A 15. I'll tell you why I ask it like On a scale of 1 to 10, on the most awkward dates you've ever been on, how was this date? A 15. I'll tell you why I ask it like that, because we actually talked to Kipling. Sounds like a nice guy, but he was also very nervous talking to us, so I can't imagine how he would be on a date. Yeah, like everything you can imagine times a thousand. Did it get better as you guys hung out longer? No, it only got worse.

How did it get worse? Like, he showed up almost 20 minutes late. Right. Without letting me know. When he walked in, though, despite being 20 minutes late, were you kind of excited? Like, oh, he's cute. I mean, he was nerdy, awkward, cute.

And I was like, maybe this could end well. But I'd been waiting for him to order, and the waitress came, and he gave her our menus and said we wouldn't be ordering food. We were just going to get drinks. But I'd waited all day to eat. What? It was already, like, after 7, and I hadn't eaten, and all we were getting was drinks. Like, we went to this nice restaurant, and we weren't even going to get food.

Like why didn't we just go to the bar? Oh, I would have been like, hell no, I'm getting food. You don't even want to see me when I'm hungry right now. We were like a few drinks in and I started getting a little tipsy. And I finally was like, hey man, I'm really hungry. Is it okay if we order something? And he was like, yeah, sure. I'll get an appetizer for us to split.

Oh, wow. So then he decides to get calamari, which is fine. It was great. And I was eating, and he could tell that I was uncomfortable. So then he says, can I ask you a question? And, of course, I said, sure. And he asked me if I'm having a good time because my face doesn't look like I'm having a good time.

Your face doesn't look like you're having fun. What'd you say to that? I just smiled and put more calamari in my mouth. You were, though, probably showing some pain on your face at this point. I think at that point, a few drinks in, no food in my stomach. I couldn't hide a thing. All right. Yeah. So it was just a very awkward time for you.

It was extremely awkward. All right. You know what else is going to be awkward? What? He's actually on the other line listening and wants to talk to you right now. Wait, what? Yep. Kip, where you at?

Hi, Mona. Oh, no. Hi, Kip. Hi. No, Kip. Kip, why are you doing this? I'm confused. Well, you weren't answering my messages i wanted to talk to you and see if you wanted to go on another date

okay did you hear what i said about our first date yeah and but listen the thing is, okay, so I don't date a lot, and I really liked you, and you made me nervous. And I was already really nervous because I was late. And the thing is, I just showed up, and I just wasn't expecting a woman of your nature to be there. What does that even mean? What did that mean? Kip? No, I just mean you're very,

you're very beautiful. You know, you're very captivate. You have captivating features. Kip. That's really, it's really sweet. Yeah.

And I just, I just got nervous and that's why maybe I wasn't the best. Dater. I was nervous, and I could tell you weren't having a good time, and the reason I didn't order a bunch of food is because, I don't know, maybe we were going to, you know, something was going to happen. What? Oh, Kip.

Wait, what are you talking about, Kip?ip what was gonna happen if you ordered food i don't know maybe you just if you know you don't know what happens if if the date goes well and you know i just didn't want to have you know anyone to feel awkward about having bad breath or have stuff in their teeth or anything you mean like if you guys are gonna kiss or something at the end there yeah okay oh i thought he was planning a lot more than that yeah me too but i'm not really giving kip that much credit i was like damn son slow down no no no i just meant kissing like we might kiss if it went well how would you know kip you know like i being nervous, like going on dates and stuff,

but you probably don't want to ask if they're having a good time because their face doesn't look happy. Kind of a turnoff. I didn't mean like that. I mean, your face is beautiful. I mean, your whole is beautiful. You're beautiful, you know? I didn't mean it like that.

I just meant like I could tell like you weren't having a good time and I wanted you to have a good time you know yeah I can't but like maybe you could have phrased it a little differently yeah I yeah I look I was nervous and I don't date a lot okay but like, I'm a really nice guy. And, you know, I just feel like I could do it right. You know, we could go somewhere and get food. And I don't know. Think about it like he's laying it all out there. Maybe next time, because it's all out in the open, he won't have those same type of nerves. I mean, he's really sweet,

and everything he does seems pretty genuine. Well, how about this, Mona? Would you go out with Kip on a second date? I will pay for it. Oh. Free second date. What's that? Said we would get food this time.

You can get food, I promise. Yes, we could do whatever. We could go bowling or get food or whatever. He's the same way. Kip, you really like bowling, don't you? I just don't date a lot and that's just the last date I went on, we went bowling and we had a great

time. Oh. You guys don't have to go bowling if you don't want to, Mona. You can do anything. We will pay for it, though. Will you go out with Kipling again? You know what? I guess he does deserve a second chance. Whoa! That almost

sounded not painful. What does that mean? You're saying yes? Yes, I'll go out with Kip again. Yay! Really? You won't regret it, I promise. Congratulations, Kipling. You got a second date, man. I can't believe you guys did this. This is amazing.

Kip, I can't believe we did it either, honestly. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers.

So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. People, my people, what's up? This is Quartz Love.

Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet hey now's your chance you gotta check them out listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts

or wherever you get your podcasts