Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: Laundry Idiot

Episode Date: September 24, 2018

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Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Need LASIK? Trust the experienced team at the LASIK Center at Evergreen Eye Center. No glasses, no contacts, no limits. What will you do? LASIK at evergreen.com. Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubal's second date update. The guy on the phone for a second date update today probably knows why he's not getting a call back because in his email it said, hey guys, I need help. I called my date an idiot and now I need to apologize. That's usually going to ensure that somebody's not going to call you after a date when you call them an idiot.

What's up, Chris? How are you? Hey, how you guys doing today? Pretty good. Idiot. We'll get to you calling your date an idiot in just a second, but first, what's the idiot's name? But her name is Bobette. Okay, I did, but I didn't. Where did you meet Bobette? I met Bobette at the club.

I don't always meet women at a club. It's always so difficult to loud and everything. But I instantly hit off with her. It was weird. Okay. Did you use a line or anything to approach her? You know, I don't have to really use lines. I just kind of use some swagger, you know.

Just call him an idiot a few times and then putty in your hands. Oh, man. No, I'll get to that part. All right. At first, it was great. We're talking. Just call him an idiot a few times and then putty in your hands. Oh, man. No, I'll get to that part. At first, it was great. We're talking. We're dancing. We weren't even drunk.

We had like one drink. Wow. I found out that she had a bunch of mutual friends of mine. I mean, literally like a hundred friends in common on Facebook. Wow. I mean, they're like real friends, though. People like I really see. All hundred of them? Yeah.

Maybe half. Maybe half of them. People like I really see. All hundred of them? Yeah. Maybe half. Maybe half of them. Yeah, that's Facebook. All right, so you had a lot in common with her. Yeah, and it just felt right. And for a while, we went back to my place. Had a very great night. Woke up early and had breakfast.

Oh, sorry. Oh, no, I was just wondering. She stayed the night then. Oh, yeah. I don't want to brag, but, like, it was good. It was really good. Okay. It's the swagger again, I'm guessing.

It's the swagger. It was nice. It was really, it was really, I didn't even use the word lovely, frankly. Oh, that's sweet. That's crazy. You had a lovely evening, and then she woke up at your place the next day, and when did the idiot thing happen? All right.

It wasn't like I woke up and called her an idiot. All right. We had breakfast. Enjoy your night, idiot. All right. We had breakfast. Enjoy your night, idiot. Good morning, idiot. Yeah. That's not what happened, guys. All right.

I woke up and she woke up and we went and got breakfast and we walked around and just were hanging. It was easy. It was just like I felt it. Yeah. When you say you felt it, I mean, are you thinking that this could have turned into a relationship for you? Oh, 100%. Okay. She just felt like someone I want to hang out with, you know, just be around. I even brought up with her. I even was just half choking, but really kind of

being serious, asking her if she could see us in the future together. All right. And did she seem down with that? Yeah, she smiled and she said, sure. It was nice. And then we were just laughing about it and talking about like, what happens when we get together? You know, who does what chores? Oh, okay. So you're really talking future stuff together. I was just kind of joking at first.

And then we got into it because, you know, she likes to cook. I do dishes. So it's the perfect combination there. And she works in finance and better with money. So I'll do the yard work. You make the money. I'll do the yard work you make the money i'll make things pretty for you yeah but uh we got over a bunch of stuff just joking about it but then i brought up laundry and at first it was kind of playful but she didn't like laundry doesn't she really doesn't

like to a point where she was getting upset about it it's like her whole demeanor changed. She was this amazing, amazing woman, and then I bring up laundry, and it was like I mentioned somebody murdering her father back then. She got that mad just at the thought of maybe doing laundry one day in a relationship with you. To be fair, she explained that it was because her ex-boyfriend just kind of leeched off her and made her do it. So I get that. You know, I get that. She doesn't want another situation where some guy's just making her do clothes. And I'm not that guy. That's not what I was trying to say. It just

kind of came out that way. And then as we were joking a little more about the laundry, I thought joking, she was getting serious. I was like, oh, you're just being an idiot. That's when you called your date an idiot. and probably the reason she's not calling you back. You know, I wasn't trying to call her a real idiot. Yeah, but it sounds like what you were saying is you have to do the laundry in a relationship. You're the woman, and now I think that if you disagree with that, you're an idiot. No, no, it's that she's making this big deal about doing laundry. It's our first

time hanging out you know we met the night before and we're just talking about small things and i called her an idiot because she's making a big deal about something that's not a big deal it's laundry yeah and now she's making a big deal about getting called an idiot probably that never feels good when you're on the defense already now you're an idiot for being too emotional over a subject that we brought up like i get what you were saying but I can also see where on her side it would make her angry. I didn't think about it that way. You know, that makes me want to apologize even more because I want to let her know I'd even do all the laundry. That's good.

What was her reaction after you said that? Did she instantly get pissed? Yeah, that's when the date ended. She had to go. Really? Yeah, she had to do some work. No, she didn't. She didn't have to do anything. She just had to get out of there. I know, but I felt like I lost my charm at that point,

so I couldn't really fight back. You guys hung out for almost 24 hours, it sounds like, and then suddenly you get into a fight over laundry that hasn't even happened. You know, it was really stupid, and I realized that i'm the idiot in this whole thing so i was just hoping you guys could maybe help me get out of it all right well we can try we'll play a song and then come back and call her and get your second date update okay guys thank you so much i really hope you can help save us all right hang on 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning.

Second date update. All right, let's call this idiot. Oh, my gosh. Joining us for today's second date update, Chris is on the phone and the idiot that we're about to call, her name's Babette. Why am I calling her an idiot? Because Chris did on their date.

Apparently they met at a club. They had a really great night together. Chris actually said he enjoyed it and thought it was a wonderful evening. They spent the night together, and the next day they went to breakfast, and they were talking about stuff, even like discussing future plans if they were to actually get in a relationship. And at some point they got on the topic of chores, and then laundry came up, and Chris called her an idiot,

and now he hasn't heard from her since. Chris, are you about ready to get her on the phone? Yes, but let me make a couple things clear because I had to tell my side of the story fully, okay? First off, I should have called you guys sooner because it's been about two weeks. Okay. Oh, it's been a while, okay. Yeah, I thought maybe I'd hear from her. You know, I texted her a couple times, but nothing.

So that's why I finally gave in. And also, if I didn't make it clear, I'm pretty sure she's like my perfect match. Oh, that's really sweet. You like really dumb people then. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, Chris. I guess my thing is, it's like I assume you apologize via text, right? Oh, absolutely.

I just don't know why she would hold such a grudge over this. Yes. You and me both. That's why I called you guys. Most people like it when you call them an idiot. No, but if you apologize, usually it's something you should be able to get past. It may be a red flag that you guys can't. Yeah, I hope not. I'm really into her, guys. I'm really into her.

All right, well, I'm going to dial her phone right now and see if we can help make things better, okay? Here we go. All right, thank you. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Babette, please? This is she. Hey, how are you? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. Who is this? Jubal from Brook and Jubal

in the Morning. It's a radio show. Okay. How are you doing? I'm good. What is this about? We do a segment on our show called the Second Date Update. That's where if you go out on a date with somebody and then end up blowing them off after, they can email

us to get you on the phone and find out what happened. And one of our listeners actually emailed us about you. Wait. Somebody contacted you about me? Yeah. Congratulations. His name is Chris. And I guess it's been about two weeks since you guys hung out. Uh, okay. Uh, you remember going out with Chris? Yeah, I remember. Are you still mad at Chris? Cause you sound kind of angry in your voice. Uh, yeah, I'm not happy about it. Is it because he called you an idiot?

Yeah, actually. I hear that turns people off sometimes. Yeah. I'm actually surprised that he told you guys that he did that. Yeah, he told us all about your date, and I guess he feels really bad, too, that he called you an idiot. He said he's tried to apologize to you and everything, but you just are not returning any of his text messages or phone calls. Yeah, I'm not going to because somebody who calls you an idiot on the first time that you meet after you just spent the night with them.

I mean, I don't like what else is to come from that. Wait, wait, hold on, though. I mean, like he said that you guys got into an argument about future laundry chores and you were getting really heated about it. And that's when he called you an idiot. And what he meant was like, you're being an idiot that we're getting so worked up over this. Still not a nice thing to say. I get it. But you have no way or room for forgiveness there. I mean, I just feel like this is not how I expect to be treated and how I want to be treated. So why am I going to set the bar so low so that someone like this can basically be like verbally abusive to me? OK, I feel like verbal abuse there is going a little bit far.

OK, but he just, you know, triggered me and it all went back to doing my most hated chore. You know, I hate laundry so much. I didn't go to school all these years to, like, do laundry for somebody. So did he actually say that he wanted you to do his laundry? I mean, not exactly, but it was kind of implied. But I think he was trying to be cute. Like, look, we're going to have a life together. Isn't this cute?

And we're talking about our future. I know, but I hate laundry. Yeah. Like, I hate laundry. going to have a life together. Isn't this cute? And we're talking about our future. I know, but I hate laundry. Yeah. Like, I hate laundry. I feel you on that one. I mean, I think everyone hates laundry. Honestly, you guys, it doesn't matter anymore. I actually met somebody else who does not talk about laundry.

So I've moved on. All right. Well, maybe you can put it in the present for just a second because Chris is actually on the phone and wants to talk to you. What? Is that true? Are you already seeing another guy? Yeah, I am actually. And he's nice and he's sweet and he's less argumentative than you and he doesn't talk about chores.

I mean, first off, I'm sweet and I'm kind and I'm willing to do chores. It was just a little cute conversation. Have you even talked to this guy about doing dishwashing? Because I'll dishwash all day. We haven't talked about that. Oh, maybe you should. If you're going to spend the rest of your life with this guy, you might want to get these things out. I'm not saying that I am marrying this guy.

I'm just saying I met somebody who makes me feel like he is safer. Yeah, Chris, I also feel like you move a little fast in relationships. I always thought I used to move fast, but damn. One date, you're already talking about laundry, and then she starts dating a guy for what? How long have you been dating this new dude, Babette? We've only been on a couple of dates, but I can actually already

tell that he is a less intense person than Chris is. Yeah, I mean, and Chris is already assuming that you're going to marry this guy. Yeah. Chris, what is that? I wasn't assuming that she's going to marry him. I'm just saying, you know, we had something real and I thought, you know, you might be very special for me and I'm going to compromise here.

Okay. How about I do the whites? You do the colors. No, dude. Chris, are you not understanding or hearing what she's saying? It's not about who's doing whites and who's doing colors. It's about you chilling out a little bit and stop having hypothetical fights. Yeah.

Yeah, Chris, why are we even talking about laundry still? I mean, we had this conversation two weeks ago, and we're still talking about it now on the radio, for that matter. Yeah, because I'm apologizing. I'm telling you that I'll do half the laundry. I'll even fold it. I'll fold it, too. I don't think it's about the laundry anymore, Chris. Yeah.

But she's saying it is. No, she's not. She's saying that that's what sparked the red flags that came up for her, that you're too much. And I'm willing to pick up those red flags and wash them. Like I'm saying. Oh, my God. Mix them with the white ones. You got a pink flag and then everything's all messed up.

Yeah, then you're sending some weird signals. He's funny. I'll give him that. He's funny. I'm not trying to be funny, okay? I'm trying to be very serious about something that felt so right and so real. It's getting ruined by a stupid little argument. I'm willing to do what it takes.

Chris, I've moved on and I just need you to know that I told this new guy about our argument and he told me that he loves to do the laundry. Oh, wow, Chris. No one loves doing laundry. That's a lie. You are lying. That's a lie. That's a lie. Now I'm a liar.

Now I'm a liar. I don't mean it in a mean way, but you're lying. I'm just saying. Like, he's a liar, you're a liar. I can now see why things unraveled so quickly on your date, Babette. I don't know what else to say at this point.

You know what you could say, Babette? You could say that you go on another date with Chris. We'll pay for it. Would you like to go out with Chris again? Even if he were to do my laundry for me, I would still not go out on another date with him. Okay. You know what?

You are an idiot. Stand by it. Really? Exactly. Good call, Babette. Good call. Do you see what I mean, you guys? This is why he is not the right match for me.

Yeah, you called it. Look, again, I'm sorry. It's just my emotions because you just, you're the one, and I feel so strongly about you, and it just comes out in me calling you an idiot sometimes. He just loves you, Babette, when you're not being an idiot. That's all. All right. I think I've reached my quota about talking about laundry and idiot though

thanks so much for calling yeah thank you babette chris sorry man no second date um guys i i'm shocked i just i don't know where do we go from here how are we going to get her back i don't think we are i think we're going to live our lives alone without Babette, Chris. You need to give up on that dream. All right. Well, plenty of other idiots in the sea, right, guys? I guess so. Brooke and Jubal in the morning.

Text in at 78592 said, I don't know why she was so upset. I love doing laundry. Talking about today's second date update. If you missed it, Chris wanted to call this girl Babette. They met at a club and hung out all night, even had breakfast the next day. And Chris thought the reason he wasn't getting a call back was because at one point during their date, they were discussing future plans, like if they actually had a long relationship. And chores came up in the conversation.

And Chris said that he would do the dishes if she did the laundry, which made her very upset. Yeah, that's right. And then that made him upset and he called her an idiot. But he thought it was just playful banter and then we got her on the phone and found out that she was actually very offended when he called her an idiot and said that she hates

doing laundry so much it completely ruined their first date. She also wasn't calling Chris back because apparently she's been dating another dude who she says is less argumentative and they don't talk about laundry at all which is probably a good thing. Laundry's a trigger. You know it's going to be an issue though if you're already fighting about chores

that haven't even begun yet. Yeah, totally. Chris was heartbroken though and did want another date. He said he'd even chip in and do some of the laundry. Oh wow. But she said no. Yeah, so and do some of the laundry. Oh, wow. But she said no. It was an imaginary laundry. Yeah, so they're not going out again.

Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show and we'll call the person who didn't call you back. Move at 92.5. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show

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ready to laugh and stay informed listen Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You don't need another podcast. You've got too many already. But if you're looking for one that actually changes something, a way to take control of the chaos and find meaning? Well, then maybe the one you feed is for you. I'm Eric Zimmer, and I bring real conversations with real people to help you feed the best part of yourself. No hype, no fluff, just wisdom that works. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all. I'm Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls. This January,

join me for our third annual January Jumpstart series. Starting January 1st, we'll have inspiring conversations to give you a hand in kickstarting your personal growth. If you've been holding back or playing small, this is your all-access pass to step fully into the possibilities of the new year. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.