Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: "Oh Corn Nuts!"

Episode Date: March 22, 2019

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025.

I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. WSFH.com. Moving 92.5. Rook and Jubal's Second Date Update. You know, whenever we do Second Date Updates, some people actually want a second date. Some people just want to figure out what happened on their date and why the person isn't calling them back. And then there's Sean, who's on the phone for a Second Date Update right now, and he wants both, pretty much. He says it was one of the strangest dates he's ever been on. So, Sean, how are you? Hey, guys. guys I'm good I'm just trying to figure things out yeah I

mean most people who do this segment say that their date was bad or something but strange it's an interesting description to me yeah I've just been trying to figure it out and I don't understand I've asked my friends I could use some help here okay what's the girl's name you want to call? Jessica. Jessica. All right. And tell us a little bit about your date with Jessica. Okay. Where to start? Oh, no. All right. So we met online. She's super cute. So I figured, okay, let's go to a bar. Let's talk.

So we go to this Irish pub. And you know those dates where it's just like not right, you know, where like you're trying to have conversation, but there's always this awkward silence or long pauses and you can kind of like never get any momentum yeah sounds fun it was just painful uh-huh all right so this is happening I've had this situation before it's like there's not chemistry or whatever so after like 45 minutes you know I gave it the good old college try or whatever. We weren't clicking. So I just say like, hey, we can just leave. We can just end this date. And that's OK. And what did she say to that? She seemed super relieved. So there were no hard feelings. You know, we're both adults. Like it all feels very copacetic or whatever. And then she asked me to walk her to her apartment, which,

you know, it's relatively early in the evening, but the sun's down. And so she says she just wants to have somebody take her back to her apartment. And that makes sense to me, you know, just to be a nice guy, I say sure. Okay. And we're walking to her apartment, and I guess, like, thinking back, like, the conversation started getting a little bit better. You know, like, there was a little less tension in the air or whatever as we were walking. So now you're getting along. Yeah. Well, you're getting along. Yeah.

Well, that's the thing. We get to her place and I have no idea why she did this, but she invites me up. What? I guess things got a lot better then. Whoa. Right? So you went from let's end the date. This is horribly awkward to come on up to my place.

Yeah. I didn't know what was going on either. In my head, I was thinking, really? Like, I didn't say that out loud, but I was totally thinking. So did the date continue up there? Surprisingly, it did. Really? I had, like, no expectations.

Yeah, I wasn't planning on anything happening. I was just like, all right, well, let's see what happens, you know? Like, or maybe she was just even inviting you to be polite because she thought it was a polite thing to do after you walked her home. I don't know. I guess my mom's friends would say, like, you want a glass of water or something. It wasn't like that polite. Right, right, right.

How did things go up there? We're hanging out and we're watching TV. We start watching some game shows and we're laughing about how cheesy that is. And I guess like because all the tension was gone because we were laughing with each other and just being ourselves. You know, one thing leads to another and we end up hooking up. What? Oh, my God. Did she, I mean, did she initiate this?

I'm sure dudes say this all the time. It felt like it was mutual. It didn't feel like one of us made the initiating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a big switch from not wanting to talk to you to doing that. Now they can't keep their hands off each other. Yeah, I mean, and that's why, as I remember it,

I did not initiate because, you know, it felt like it was so not going to happen. So anyway, that happens. It's really nice. She's great, whatever. She's great, whatever. I mean, I don't want to give details, you know. No, no, it's fine. It's fine.

Did you stay the night? Well, here's the thing. She gets up to use the bathroom, and then I hear the apartment door close. Okay. And I wait for 45 minutes alone in her apartment. What? She left? She just left me in her apartment.

That's weird. Whoa. She must have really wanted to get out of there. Yeah. After 45 minutes, I was like, all right, I don't know what's going on. She didn't text me or leave a note or anything. i just left wow she wasn't she ghosted you in her own apartment right like was it a weird booty call that she didn't want to i don't know so anyway like i've texted her i tried calling her once radio silence and me and my buddies we don't

understand this one so i could just use some help. Yeah, that's confusing. But you would, if there's a normal excuse for it, you would want to see her again still? It felt like there was some chemistry, so maybe things could happen. And I kind of want to know if I did anything weird so that I won't do it again. Well, and that's so strange. Like, to finish all of it and then leave. Like, if there's something really weird happening, she would probably tell you in the middle of it. That's a good point. Yeah, it's like an old horror story or something where the person disappears

and they've never been in that apartment for 30 years or something. I bet that was the longest 45 minutes of your life, just laying there. Is she going to come back? Is she not? Time slowed down to a crawl. I think that I have never been so scared. All right, well, we'll play a song and then come back and call her and see if we can figure it out for you with your second date update, okay?

Alright, thanks. I really want to figure this out. Alright, hang on. Moving 92.5 Brooke and Jubal in the Morning Second Date Update I guess you know a date's going well when your date runs out of her own apartment and leaves you there for 45 minutes and then never talks to you again.

If you just tuned in today's second date update, that's what happened to Sean. He went out with this girl named Jessica and the beginning of their date was really awkward and he could tell that. So he just called it out and was like, hey, this is awkward. Do you want to end the date? And she said, yeah. And so he started walking her back to her place. And then I guess because everything was relaxed now they started hooking up and then right after that apparently she left her apartment left him in there for like 45 minutes until he finally just left and he hasn't heard from her since so we're gonna try to figure it out sean you ready to go let's do this this is so i mean it's so weird i can't think of any good reason I would leave a stranger in my apartment.

Yeah. You know, other than maybe she fell in the bathroom, got amnesia, forgot you were in there, and just wandered out. Like, I feel like that's the only good situation that can happen there. God, I can only hope that that's the case. Yeah. We'll try to figure it out. I'm going to dial her phone number right now, okay? Thank you so much.

I got to know what's going on. Okay, here we go. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Jessica, please? This is she. Hey, Jessica. How are you? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning.

Jubal? Uh-huh, from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. It's a radio show. Yeah, I know it. I just don't know why you're calling me. I'm calling you because somebody emailed us about you. Was it my friend Karen? I don't think so.

I've seen one from Karen. I'll check, though, later to see if she emailed. No, this is from Sean. Oh, my God. You remember Sean sean you went out with sean yes well if you know the show you probably heard a second date update before yeah i know my friend karen does she's like obsessed with you guys okay so that's why i asked if if it was her that emailed oh gotcha well a second date update is where if you go out on a date with somebody and then end up not calling them back after, they can email us to get you on the phone and find out what happened.

So Sean emailed us and told us about the night you guys hung out and is very confused why you ditched him in your own apartment and also why you won't call him back. Wow, he told you that. Yeah. It was not great. I honestly wish that this had never even happened, and I can't believe I'm reliving this on a radio show right now. It has to be worse than not great.

I mean, to leave a stranger in your apartment. Wait, so can you tell us what happened on your date? Okay, so me and John went out, and I had a very weird feeling from the moment that we got together. Like, something was just off. Is that why things were awkward at first? Because he told us about your date. He said things were obviously awkward between you two at the beginning of it.

Yeah, I just had a weird feeling, and I guess that, like, carried into how the date went. So wait, like, weird feeling, like you felt like he was a serial killer? Because that's how whenever I say weird feeling, I feel like someone is bad. Not that I thought he was going to kill me because I would have like left at the restaurant if that was the case. But when he said, hey, this isn't going well, I was relieved, you know, like I was relieved when he suggested that we leave and I asked him to walk me home and things got, you know, a little bit better. We were talking and enjoying ourselves a little bit and enjoying the conversation. And so, wait, what did he tell you? He just said that

you guys ended up going up to your place and then things were better. And then after you guys were done hanging out, then you left and didn't hear from you. Yeah, well, there was a moment where we were sitting down and he dropped his phone. And when he reached for it, said oh corn nuts okay this is after you guys have hooked up or before he told you that god this is after okay considering you know the details. This is after. So he drops the phone. He says, oh, corn nuts. And I realized that's something that one of my uncles used to say all the time.

Okay, so he reminds you of your uncle or something? Oh, no. Well, that uncle has a son named Sean. Wait. What? Whoa. So are you thinking that Sean is your cousin? Yeah.

Oh. Shut up. I'm still not 100% sure, but I hadn't seen him in a while, if it was him. So I just panicked. I panicked, and I left left but you know what your cousin looks like right i mean i haven't seen him since we were children people evolved and all sean's kind of look the same that too so you think that he's your cousin and you went out with that sounds so much worse when you say it have you done done any research into this? Like, I would be on the phone immediately with my parents, like, hey, where's cousin Sean at?

What's the likelihood? Please tell me he disappeared. Yeah, he's living in another country. Give me some hope. I honestly have just wanted to pretend that this never happened. And that's kind of been my approach. I can understand that. Because you think you slept with your cousin.

Stop. Please stop saying that. Oh, my God. It's mortifying. Oh, my God. Yeah, that'd be embarrassing. I'm going to be sick. You know what a good idea is?

To check with him and see if he actually is your cousin, because he's on the other line listening to this and wants to talk to you. What? Yeah. Maybe he's still there. I don't know. Sean, are you still there? Jessica, oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I don't know. Sean, are you still there? Jessica, oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Did you hear all that? Yeah. Did you just hear all that? I did. Are you Hank and Lily's daughter? Yes. Yes.

Shut up! So you guys are cousins? For real? Oh, Conrad! Shut up! So you guys are cousins? For real? Oh, Connuts. Don't say that. How did you not recognize me? How did you not recognize me? Your hair was so short before.

Hair grows, John. When was the last time you guys saw each other? I mean, I was the last time you guys saw each other? I mean, I know the last time you guys saw each other, but when was the... Before that, when was the last time you guys saw each other? I don't know, like 15 years ago? Oh, my God. In the first date conversation, none of this came up. Like, your family history, where you're from.

Like, those are things that you normally talk about. Like, what your parents do. I mean, maybe that's why it was so awkward because we didn't think to use those conversation starters yeah wow did you know the whole time sean did you know that she was your cousin and you just hoped she wouldn't find out i'm just saying like he's like maybe that's why we didn't think to do those things. Look, Jessica, I had no idea you are very attractive and you're a great kisser. What is wrong with you? Yeah, it's probably not the best complimenting or like that's probably not the best thing to do. I'm just being honest, all right? It's good to compliment people.

No! Yeah. No! Why are you grossed out by this? You are not grossed out! I'm not trying to be gross, all right? I don't know what to say right now. This is uncharted territory.

Good, I'm glad. Say that you're going to act like this never happened so we can move on with our lives. Oh, my gosh. I have a very important question for you, Jessica. Have you talked to your parents? Oh, no. No!

Why? Did you? No, I told them that I had a weird date, but I didn't get into specifics. Oh, they have no idea. Yeah, you guys might want to keep it a secret from her. Unless, Jessica, you want to go on a second date with Sean, we'll pay for it. What? Is that legal?

What? I don't think we're allowed to. No, I said no. Obviously, I never want to see him again. Just for the record, Jessica, I feel horrible about this. And, you know, if you want to meet up over coffee or something and talk about it, I'm down. No, I don't want to meet up over coffee. No, I don't ever want to see you again.

Oh, my God. Ever. Well, Sean. I think so. Sorry. I'm sorry both of you trying to say that? Ever. Well, Sean. I think so. Sorry. I'm sorry both of you had to learn about that tape, but Sean, no

second date. Great. I lost a cousin too. Thank you very much. Broken Jubal in the morning. Nothing like a little incest to start your

morning. Good morning. Broken Jubal in the morning talking about today's second date update. If you missed it, Sean had a first date with a girl named Jessica. It started out awful, but after a few drinks it got better, and they actually ended up hooking up at her apartment.

But when we called Jessica, she told us something very shocking. At one point during the evening after they had already banged it out, Sean used the phrase, oh corn nuts and it made Jessica remember that she has an uncle who also uses that phrase and had a son named Sean oh my god just banged it out with my cousin.

I cannot believe it. See, this is why you should never estrange your family because then you don't remember who's who and you end up sleeping with one of them. Be close with them. She says she hasn't seen that side of her family for a long time Because then you don't remember who's who and you end up sleeping with one of them. Be close with them, please. She says she hasn't seen that side of her family for a long time, so she wasn't exactly sure if it was her cousin. But Sean confirmed that, yes, they're related.

Oh, my God. So, yep. So she probably won't see that side of the family again for a while. He was not as upset as he should have been. No, he really wasn't. Yeah, you guys, like, still. In the end, no second date, but a lifetime of baggage because they had sex with each other and they're cousins.

God, stop saying that. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show, and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Move in 92.5. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes.

More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover,

that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt.

And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast.

And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.