Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: On Pins and Needles

Episode Date: March 29, 2019

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Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada, to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025.

I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. In the dating world, everybody has their techniques for finding out if the person you're going on a date with is crazy or not. Little tests. Like, I invite everybody I've been on a date with on a robbery spree. If they say no, obviously they're crazy.

If they say yes, let's have a good time. It's kind of how I do it. But Kyle, who's on the phone today for a second date update, apparently has a different, more boring method, I think. We'll find out about that in just a second. But first, Kyle, what's up, man? How are you? Hey, how's it going? Not bad.

So before we get into your little technique on how you find out if a girl is crazy or not, where did you meet the girl you want to call today? What's her name? Her name's Virginia, but she also goes by Ginny. Okay. And met her on Tinder. All but she also goes by Ginny. Okay. And met her on Tinder. All right. Well, there you go. Crazy.

That's not what... Then he would also be crazy. If everyone on Tinder is crazy, then they're all dating. Crazy is dating crazy. I think that's what's happening right now. Well, that's fine. All right. So you said in your email that you have like a standard first date that's kind of a test

for people you go out with. What did you guys do? Yeah. So we went to coffee and some people might think that's kind of a test for people you go out with. What did you guys do? Yeah, so we went to coffee, and some people might think that's kind of boring, but I think you can tell a lot by what someone orders for coffee, and if it's like a grande ice sugar-free vanilla latte with soy, they're probably a high-maintenance person. I mean, maybe they're lactose intolerant, but... So wait, you're judging people based on their coffee drinks?

A little bit, yeah. I think you can get a good read for personality. I think you can. I mean, anytime I've been at a coffee place and there's someone just arguing about, like, it's not 124 and a half degrees, I'm like, that person is way too high-strung. I want to know what the best coffee drink

a date can order in your mind. Just coffee. Just a hot coffee. Okay. You don't think that means that they're boring or basic? I mean, you could do whatever you want with it at the little prep bar, but that's your own prerogative. I just don't understand. If you're just getting coffee, why go to a coffee shop?

You can make that at home. Well, it's fun. I mean, I don't think many people get asked to coffee dates anymore. Okay. It's about the environment, right? I'm guessing Virginia, who you went on a date with, passed your test because you want to call her for another date? Yeah, she just got a regular latte. Okay. Ooh, sexy. Oh, that's more than just coffee. I thought you were talking just black. Okay. And how was your actual date with her?

It was fun. Another thing I did, I bought two little bottles of Baileys for us and brought it to the coffee place. So wait, you're going to a coffee shop and trying to still get drunk? That's awesome. I like that. It's not. Just go to a bar. I don't understand you. No, because the bar doesn't have good coffee. At least go to a coffee shop. You know, you get the best of both. All right. The alcoholic in the room knows what it's up. Yeah, I know what's up. So did you guys drink the Bailey's or?

Yeah, she actually wanted some. Okay. Which, I mean, that's a good clue. Okay. And everything went well. And we were discussing what we like, our hobbies and everything. And I actually have something in common with her grandpa. I collect campaign buttons from all over the world.

Really? Yeah. And I was like, I'd love to see his. And she wanted to see mine. Is that the reason you want to call her? Is you just want to meet her grandpa so you guys can compare campaign buttons? Yeah, I'm using her for a grandpa. I actually have one of Fidel Castro from way back when in like the early 50s.

Is that your most prized button? It is. Cool. Is it worth most prized button? It is. Cool. Is it worth a lot of money? I have no idea. I haven't checked that out. It's priceless. You're not doing it for the money.

You're doing it for the love. I get it. They actually don't allow Castro's face on any pins in Cuba. So it's pretty rare to find one. And I have one. That's cool. I know, right? I mean, how many people do you know that have Fidel Castro campaign buttons?

You're the only one? Yeah. I don't know many Fidel Castro fans, so. Well, I'm not saying I'm a fan. Okay. I have his button. Did that turn her on? Did that turn her on?

You know, it could have. She wanted to come over and see it. Oh, she did? Oh, she went to your house after the coffee date? We did, yes. Wow. Okay, so things were going real well. How was that?

I mean, this is where it gets kind of wonky for me. She was at my place, and she hadn't been checking her phone or anything when we were getting coffee, but she was just pretty much always on her phone when she was at my place. And I was like, is everything okay? And she said a friend of hers was having a meltdown and that she needed to go and would like to reschedule the whole Castro viewing. But it's now been over a week and I'm only getting kind of short, cold texts back. And that's why I'm here. I'd like your help figuring out what to do next.

What was your sense on the meltdown? Was it an excuse or did you believe her? I couldn't really get a read for it. Okay. But the fact that she's not really being responsive to you sounds like she might have just used an excuse. Yeah, exactly. It's kind of a classic one, too. Can you think of anything weird that happened?

No, other than everything that she was already down to do. You don't have any other strange collections in your house, right? A little collection of dust, but... Okay, I think that's okay. All right. We'll try to figure it out. We'll play a song and then come back and call her and get your second date update, okay? All right, thank you.

All right, hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the Morning's Second Date Update. You know, a lot of guys will try to impress girls they're on a date with with their car or their nice Rolex watch. But not Kyle, who's on the phone for a second date update today. He tries to impress women with his vintage political campaign buttons. He's crushing it at retirement homes for sure. And that's exactly what happened on his first date.

He met a girl named Virginia on Tinder. They went out for coffee and then went back to his place because he brought up during his date that he collects vintage political campaign buttons. And she said, oh, my grandpa does too. And so he wanted to show her some of his. They went to his place. Then she said she had an emergency and had to leave and he hasn't really heard from her since. We're going to try to get her on the phone and find out why. And for the record, if it's the political campaign buttons that turned her off, she's lame. Like, it's cool when people have really interesting

quirky hobbies. Thank you. Yeah, I'm on your side. That's all I'm saying. If you guys want to ever come by and see them yourself, I'm happy to let you in and show you around. I support you, but not that much, maybe. Tweet me, maybe I'll hit you back.

All right. I'm going to dial her phone right now. Okay, you ready? Yeah. All right, here we go. Hello? Hi, may I speak to Virginia, please? This is she. Hey, Virginia, how are you?

This is Jubal from Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Who did you say that you were? Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. Who did you say that you were? Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. It's a radio show. Have you ever heard it? No. Okay. Got any friends that have heard it? I don't know. Sorry, what? You ever Google it?

No. Probably not. Okay, I'll just get to the point. It's a radio show called Brook and Jubal in the Morning, and we got an email about you from somebody who does listen to the show. Wait, what? You got an email about me? Yes. We do a segment on our show. It's called the Second Date Update.

That's where if you go out on a date with somebody and then end up not calling them back after or wanting to see them again, they can email us to get you on the phone and find out what happened. So we got an email about you from a dude named Kyle. What the hell? That's what happened. So we got an email about you from a dude named Kyle. What the hell? I know that's what I said, right? The hell? I don't understand what's happening. So Kyle emailed us because he told us about your date.

He said that he really enjoyed going out with you, but now it's pretty obvious that you don't want to see him again. And he wanted us to talk to you and see if we can find out why. Does that make sense now? Yeah, this is just, like, really weird. Do you mind telling us about your date? I don't really know what to say. It sounded like, I mean, from his description,

that you guys really hit it off at coffee and that you went back to his place, which is always a good sign that you were interested, to some degree, during the date. Yeah, how do I put this? He's the kind of guy that, like, you think he's one way, his place, which is always a good sign that you were interested to some degree during the date. Yeah. How do I put this? He's the kind of guy that, like, you think he's one way, but then you find out that he's just a completely different person.

Okay. Can you explain in a little more detail for us? He sounds like a pretty mild-mannered guy. I mean, he said he collects political campaign buttons. Yeah. You don't usually call those guys wild and crazy. You know what I mean? Maybe just start with, like, what you thought he was to begin with.

I don't know. I thought he was, like, a normal, nice guy. Maybe I should have picked up on there were signs. Like, he brought, like, airplane alcohol bottles to a coffee shop. I thought he was trying to be, like, fun, but it was, I guess that's a red flag. Probably I should have noticed. Oh, I thought that was cool. Yeah, but you drink a lot in your life jose so maybe it is a red flag if you don't want to date a heavy drinker yeah that was like i guess the first weird thing but we went

back to his place and i had to go to the bathroom and i went to his bathroom and there was a syringe just like laying out on the counter wait and then i walked by his bedroom on the his bathroom and there was a syringe just like laying out on the counter. And then I walked by his bedroom on the way back and there was another syringe on his bedside table. Okay. So you think that he's a bit of a partier. Yeah. And then we were looking at this button collection that he has, which was cool. But then there was like a knock at the door. And he went to answer it.

And this guy was there and they like barely said hello to each other the guy just like handed him a bag and he was like cool thanks man and then he closed the door so this guy you think he's in whoa so yeah is that what you're saying you're saying that you think kyle is like a like a big drug user or i don't know i don't know what he's into but it was clear to me that he was into some obviously bad stuff. And so I just like faked a conversation with my friend. Okay. It's a pretty big jump, though, that you're making. I'm just saying, look at the evidence.

And if he's like dealing with some issues or something, that's, you know, that's his own battle. But I just, it's not something I personally want to get involved in, you know what I mean? You're not into doing heroin on a first date? Bailey's and heroin? What a prude. Yeah, no. No. Well, wouldn't you like to find out what all that stuff was about?

Not really. I mean, I feel like my instincts are pretty dead on. Think about it, though. If he was a drug dealer, he wouldn't contact us. I don't know that. Yeah, and I don't know that either, because there's a lot of people who listen to the show that do drugs and are drug dealers, so they probably could contact us. But I was going to say, Virginia, the best way to find out is probably just to ask him. And he's actually on the phone listening and wants to talk to you.

Oh, I don't want to talk to him. Okay, it's a little too late. Kyle, are you there? Yeah, hi. This has been a huge misunderstanding. Okay. The syringes are for insulin. I'm a diabetic.

Oh, sure. Are you serious? I mean, I can't believe you thought I was a drug addict. Like, there were syringes in, like, multiple places around your apartment, and a guy came to your door that you barely spoke to. The knock at the door was an Amazon delivery, and I'm not going to talk with him and get to know him. I didn't even think of that. Yeah, I didn't even think of an Amazon guy dropping off stuff.

I automatically thought some dude was dropping off drugs to you. Wait, what about you had cleaning products all over your apartment, and I went home and I Googled that, and it said that sometimes drug dealers use cleaning products to like make their stuff. No, no, no. I cleaned my house earlier that day from like top to bottom. I just didn't put them away. That's a big assumption to go from

cleaning products to meth lab. Well, I wouldn't have started there but there's like 10 other signs. Like I just, there's just too many red flags Kyle. Like I'm not buying it. I'm sorry. Oh, you still don't believe them. Like, you brought alcohol to a coffee date. Like, what? You can't get through your day without.

I can very much get through my day. That was just to, you know, have some fun on a coffee date. You gotta believe me. This is crazy. I'm not Walter White. I'm not trying to judge you at all or your lifestyle, but I watch a lot of documentaries. I just feel like I know my instincts are right here. If he could produce a medical card that says that he is diabetic, would that be good enough for you?

I don't need to produce a medical card to be believed. You just got to trust me. I mean, I'm a diabetic. I don't have to trust you, and I really honestly don't trust you. I've seen it a million times. You lure me into your apartment. You get me high on drugs. You try and sell me out to prostitution.

Wow. What? Damn, Kyle. I had no idea you were into so many. You're a drug dealer. You're human trafficking. You're doing all that? I'm not.

I thought you were just an innocent dude who wanted coffee and likes to collect buttons, but damn, I was wrong. Women that don't read the room can like get involved in some messed up stuff. I'm not interested. But Virginia, I mean, come on. You've watched too many true crime documentaries. Like on this case, I think why would he contact us if he was ready to do all this illegal shady stuff? He'd be a horrible criminal who would have gotten caught already.

I don't know, but I'm sure he'll make a really interesting documentary, and I'm not interested in being a part of it. This is crazy. I don't know what else I could have done. I mean, I'm a diabetic. Have you ever done hard drugs before, Kyle? Not. Look at that pie.

Yeah, now I'm pretty sure she's right. You could drive a truck through that pause. Oh, my God. Virginia, would you like to go on a second date with Kyle? We'll pay for it. Absolutely not. No. Oh, no.

I'm not getting a second date because she thinks I'm a drug dealer. Yeah. Yeah. A drug dealer who's going to get her high and prostitute her. Kyle? I'm a diabetic who likes collecting campaign buttons. Is that that risky? I'm not buying it, dude.

You better start covering your tracks more if you're going to try and pick up some chicks on the street and sell them out. Yeah. Sounds like a perfect front to me, Kyle. What? I'm sorry, man. I'm going to be sorry when we see his mugshot one day though maybe everything you're saying is true maybe you are a diabetic and they were just cleaning products but i'm just

not willing to take that risk with my life like this is this is my life wow sorry wow good luck hiding under your blanket at home okay well kyle i'm sorry no second date but it sounds like actually you might want to be thankful about that. Wow. All right, can I go now? Yeah, go now. Be safe. Yeah, run. It's dangerous out there. We'll see you later, Virginia.

Hi. Hey, Kyle? Yeah. I did not expect it to go down like that, man. I'm sorry. I guess I need to hide my syringes better. Yeah, hide your syringes better. I remember you said earlier we could come check out your campaign button collection. Yeah.

Now that we know a little more about you, I'm more interested in coming over to check out the other stuff you got lying around. Oh, come on. Hit me up. Jubal Watson. Yeah. Yeah, come on down. I'll give you the big drug tour. Yeah, you can tell he's totally a drug addict.

I'll give you the big drug tour. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want.

And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast but the financial hangover that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement

email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going to go

on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline's CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth at Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. with guest appearances from Behind the Bastards Robert Evans, It Could Happen Here's Gare Davis, and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.