Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: Puppy Party

Episode Date: August 10, 2018

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I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapoport, and my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rapoport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention. I am here to call it as i see it and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days listen to the i am rap report stereo podcast on the iheart radio app apple podcast and wherever you get your podcast

need lasik trust the experience team at the lasik center at evergreen eye center no glasses no contacts no limits what will you do lasik at Evergreen Eye Center. No glasses, no contacts, no limits. What will you do? LASIK at Evergreen.com Time for your second date update. It's Brooke and Jubal in the morning and today's second date update. Some guys pick up women using a clever pickup line. Others buy them a drink.

My go-to move is to weep loudly into their lap until they agree to date me. Well, one of our listeners got a girl's phone number in a different way. It's 100% thanks to his unique job, and you'll find out what it is in your second date update right now. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal's Second Date Update.

I don't know what the end result of today's second date update will be, but I do know that because of this second date update, I found a new way to party, and that's with puppies. Oh. That's right. I want a puppy party. Yeah. Apparently, the dude on the phone, his name is Michael, hosts puppy parties.

Cool. I don't even know exactly what that entails. I mean, I'm guessing it involves puppies and parties. What's up, Michael? How are you? I'm well. How are you? Good.

This isn't one of those weird things where everybody pretends to be dogs and cuddles together's up, Michael? How are you? I'm well. How are you? Good. This isn't one of those weird things where everybody pretends to be dogs and cuddles together and stuff, right? No, not furries. What are they called? Furries, yeah. That's what I thought it was. Never mind, then.

I'm not interested. Not interested, Michael. Yeah, your email says that you work for a party company that rents puppies for parties. That is correct. That's so cool. Oh, my God. It's so cool. Is it inhumane to rent a puppy for a party? that rents puppies for parties. That is correct. That's so cool. Oh, my God.

It's so cool. Is it inhumane to rent a puppy for a party? I don't think so. You play with them and feed them and love them? Oh, yeah. No. Puppies are fun. You know, everybody loves puppies.

It's the best job ever. If you had my job, you'd be the happiest person on earth. It sounds like it. That's probably true. And apparently you met the girl you want to call today at one of your puppy parties? Yes. Okay. Oh, my gosh.

What's her name? Jacqueline. Jacqueline, all right. And how did you meet her at one of these parties? So I did a children's birthday party, and she was the aunt of one of the kids. And she was, like, you know, playing with one of the dogs, and I came up to her. Because obviously it's, like, a really easy way to meet women. Right. I'm thinking that you get hit on all the time. Like you're the puppy party guy. Like, yeah. So I was like, yeah, Hey, we hit it off. Um, you're like, you know, all these things

mate, right? No, gross. They're puppies. Jubal. That's like talking about children that way. What is wrong with you? I was just meaning dogs in general anyway um we hit it off you know right away and before she left i i made sure i asked her on a date and she said yes and for the date though i thought i'd do coffee i don't know why i just thought you know it would lead to something else no wait hold up coffee never leads to anything yeah i don't know i thought the way the conversation went just led to that. And I was like, let's do coffee. She agreed. I was happy. And then when we met for coffee, the first thing she said was,

Ooh, did you bring any puppies? Yeah, it's hard to go from a puppy party to a coffee date, you know? It's a big letdown. Yeah, so I said no, and she immediately seemed really, really disappointed. What? Wait, she, like, honestly thought that you were going to bring puppies to your date? I don't know. I thought maybe I'd bring one or something.

Like, you have puppies on you at all times? Yeah. one or something and it's like you have puppies on you at all times but i didn't and um i immediately felt it wasn't as natural as it was when i was at the puppy party and i said things like you know gosh i can't remember the last time i was at a starbucks uh or i i i felt it getting really weird and and even by the end of this date, I kind of felt real desperate. And I challenged her to a thumb war. What? Like thumb wrestling?

Yeah, no, it's getting worse. It doesn't get too much worse. But she said, no, thanks. So, like, I didn't know really what to do. And it just kept getting worse. And there was more awkward silences. And I didn't feel any chemistry by the end of it. So why do you want to call her back if you didn't feel any chemistry? I just feel like, honestly, at the party we had great chemistry, and I feel like she didn't really get to meet the guy that she met at the party.

So I feel like there's something there and I want to find that. I want to get back to where we were at the party and kind of like get rid of this section, the coffee section. Maybe you need to bring puppies with you everywhere like she thought. Maybe that would help. Yeah, no, I would do that.

But honestly, I'd probably end up letting her down by the 10th day when I don't have any puppies. Yeah. Right. Just keep trading in, you know, puppies once they get too old and not cute anymore. And just always have a puppy with you. For your entire relationship. Yeah.

Be like, this one doesn't get old. That's weird. So how did it all end? Did you guys make any plans? She said one of those like, yeah, we'll get together again. Oh, geez. make any plans she said one of those like yeah we'll get together again um thumb wrestle at a coffee shop another time for sure yeah you know i don't always bomb like this but she's really cute and and i just want to tell her you know i don't always take people on starboard i don't know why we went to the coffee shop i don't always thumb war people on a first date.

That's the main message. It obviously went really horrible, and I just think it would be best for both of us if we had like a do-over date. Okay. Yeah. I agree. You want to mulligan on this one. Yeah. All right.

So have you talked to her at all since your date? I texted her. She kind of got back to me a bit late, like a day later or something, and then I texted her. She kind of got back to me, but late, like a day later or something. And then I texted again. But I knew the way she was responding that I'm not going to be the creeper that keeps texting her. Okay. Good job. Hey, I applaud you for your self-control there.

Yeah. Don't want to be too nasty. Yeah. I have more puppies. I think it's going to turn over again. Okay, well, play a song and then come back and call her and get your second date update, all right? All right, great. Okay, man, hang on song and then come back and call her and get your second date update, all right? All right, great.

Okay, man, hang on. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning's second date update. Everybody has their go-to move when a conversation gets awkward. And apparently Michael, who's on the phone to do a second date update today, his move is thumb wrestling. It can be very interesting in conversations. But if you're just joining us, Michael went out with a girl named Jacqueline. He actually met her because he works for a company that throws puppy parties. It's where you bring a bunch of puppies to a party and people get to hang out with the puppies.

And then you take them home and throw them wherever you keep them. I don't know where you keep puppies. But he met her at one of these puppy parties. They struck up a conversation and then met for coffee. And he said it was so awkward. He was trying to start a conversation. And then he eventually asked her to thumb wrestle. She said no.

And the date kind of ended. And he hasn't really heard from her since. All right, Michael, are you ready to call her? Yes, I am. Are you sure, Michael? Because a woman who wouldn't take you up on thumb wrestling doesn't sound like a keeper to me anyway. I don't i don't know maybe it was an off day for both of us you know yeah you're right maybe her thumb was tired

yeah maybe she wasn't up for the challenge and we really hit it off the first time so it's just kind of odd that the second time was like the complete polar opposite of what happened what are you going to do if the conversation gets awkward on the phone? Thumb wrestle yourself? Who are you going to wrestle? I'm going to pull out a puppy and FaceTime her. Okay. Oh, there you go. All right. Well, I'm going to dial her phone number right now. Here we go. Hello? Hi, is this Jacqueline? This is Jacqueline. Who's this? Hey, Jacqueline, how are you? This is Jubal from the radio show Brooke and Jubal in the Morning.

What? Yeah, how are you? Why are you calling me? Well, I'm calling you today because one of our listeners emailed us about you. Okay. Okay. Any idea why somebody would email us about you?

I'm not really sure. Well, we do a segment on our show. It's called the Second Date Update. So this dude named Michael, who throws puppy parties, emailed us about you. Oh, geez. That wasn't his.

You did a happy laugh in the beginning, and now that sounded like you're disappointed a little bit. Yeah. I mean, this is just really weird. It is weird. Yeah, my whole experience with Michael was not something I really want to remember. Was it that bad, really?

He told us how he met you, and then he told us you guys went out for coffee. He did say that coffee was kind of awkward, though. Yeah, definitely awkward. Look, I don't want to come across as, like, a bad person here, so I have to, like, I don't really know what to say exactly. I should probably just let you go because I don't want to talk bad

about him. Well, we want you to talk bad about him. I think he totally owned how horrible he was on that date when we talked to him. He wants a redo because he knows that he was awkward. I mean, let's just say he wasn't

as cute by himself as he was when I saw him with a dog what that sounds terrible he only looks good when he's around puppies is that what you're saying it's like when you go to a bar and you meet someone like in the dark and you think they look great and then when you see them the next day in the light you're like that was a bad decision no she was intoxicated by puppies people make bad choices sometimes when puppies are around. I can see how that would happen.

Yeah, I must have had my puppy goggles on or something. I can see how that could get you. Was he really that different without a puppy next to him? I mean, he still smelled like dogs, which was a turn off, definitely. But yeah, he was was different he told me he didn't

even own a dog which is like what is he even a dog lover it really had me thinking like what did i get myself into who is this guy oh my gosh calm down i mean there's lots of people who are teachers of children that don't have children like you, you don't, you can still love dogs without owning one. Yeah, but it made me feel like he's just working at this job to pick up girls. I honestly didn't believe that he liked dogs, even, at that very moment. Because he was being so awkward. And then I heard that, and I was like,

uh, no. What am I doing here with this guy? So you feel like he's using puppies to get dates, and that's it. That's how I felt, honestly. And then he offered to thumb wrestle me, and I was like, no, I have to leave. That's surprising. Usually thumb wrestling, you know.

Really, people love that. I just think he was maybe nervous to meet you. I mean, he sounds like kind of an awkward guy. I feel like maybe you wrote him off in the very beginning and you just never gave him enough of a shot, you know? I did. I mean, I came into the date very optimistic. I love dogs. He seemed like a great guy. He was really cute when I met him.

And then I... I don't know. I guess I was mistaken. Well, he turned out to be an ugly dog hater is what it sounds like for you. I guess so. If you talk to him, just tell him I I'm sorry, it didn't work out. Okay. Well, you actually kind of already told him because he's on the other line listening and wants to talk to you.

Wait, what are you talking about? Yeah. He's on the other line listening. You there, Michael? Oh, I'm here. Hey, Jacqueline. Hi. Yeah, I kind of heard everything you said.

I just can't believe you felt that way. I don't know about the whole smelling like a dog thing. I might not have had time to shower before I got to the date, so that could possibly be why I kind of still smelled a little bit like a dog so i don't know like yeah i mean you did smell like a dog i tried to put that like past us and just not think about that the whole time but really everything like some wrestling what was that i mean that was because i i was so excited to see you. I really didn't get any sleep the night before. I was acting awkward, and that's why I was messing up to them about that.

I was really excited to see you, so it was awkward because I didn't sleep. Yeah, but that's how you show someone you're excited to spend time with them is just a thumb wrestle. We could have done anything but that. No, that was... On another note, you know, I find it rude that you're judging me on what animal I was holding at my job. You're saying that I look better

with a dog in my hands. I don't know. Maybe you looked better with a dog in your hands. Ooh, you just switched to angry for a second there. Yeah, I'm kind of angry a little bit about it because she's judging me on the way I look, and that's the one thing I can't really change about myself. Actually, you can because when you had a puppy, you looked a lot cuter.

Doesn't everybody look better with a puppy in their hands? I mean, seriously. I don't know about everybody, but you definitely do. Jacqueline! These are low blows. You're being just kind of mean right now. I'm telling him the truth. What? Yeah, well, you know, I also work with dogs.

And you said that because I don't have a dog or something that I'm just using my job to pick up girls. That is not, that's the furthest thing from the truth. I work with dogs. I can't just bring my work home with me, you know? Yeah, but how am I supposed to know that you're telling the truth, though? Like, you could definitely get a dog on the side if you really love them when you're not at work. You can play with it. I mean, the thing is, Jacqueline, like, haven't you ever had a bad date where you messed up

and you wanted a redo? No. You're apparently very good at dating. Michael isn't, and Michael would like to go out with you again. Jacqueline, would you like to go on a second date with Michael? We'll pay for it. How about this? How about the next time?

Let's say we go on another date, and I just bring some puppies with me, and it doesn't have to be anything crazy. You just meet up and just get to know each other a little bit more like the way we did at the party. That's an interesting idea. I'll have to think about it, I guess, because I do get to see puppies again, and hopefully this time he'll shower before we meet up.

So is that a yes if he brings along puppies and showers? Well, I'm not saying yes to a date necessarily. It's more like I'm saying yes to a meet-up with some puppies that I don't have to pay to see. Michael, don't do this. Have some self-respect. She's using you for the puppies, man. I don't know. I don't see this being too bad that she's using me to see puppies

because I'm kind of using the puppies to get a second date and you know puppies are awesome and you know nothing can go wrong with some puppies around right Michael I just want to correct you that it's not a date we're all going to be hanging out with puppies and I'm not paying for it for you then that's great let's do it okay that's fine you know I have a few parties coming up where you know obviously I have puppies there and I'll just bring I'll bring them over and we'll see where it goes from there I guess congratulations Michael you kind of got a second chance to hang out at least yeah I mean I think it's a good chance for us to, you know,

reconnect and continue where we left off before it got awkward at the coffee shop. Okay, and the poor puppies that are caught in the middle of this whole thing have no idea. Amen to that. It's Broken Jubal in the morning. Text in at 78592 says, I feel like your show is either desperate guys that get run over or guys that are really mean and defensive. You mean people?

Yeah. We're talking about today's second date update. If you missed it, Michael wanted to call this girl named Jacqueline. They met while he was working his job. He works at a company that does puppy parties. He ran out of a bunch of puppies for a party, I guess. They hit it off and decided to go out again later, but things got awkward. Jacqueline seemed to be acting differently when they were on their date. And we got her on the phone.

And she admitted that when she met up with Michael again, he just didn't seem as cute without the puppies. She described it as being similar to meeting somebody when you're drunk or whatever out at a bar. And then you see them in person and you're like, oh, yeah, never mind. I was pretty drunk. Also, Jacqueline was upset because Michael didn't have a dog. But he claimed to be a dog lover. And that made her upset. You expect him to have a puppy everywhere he goes?

Here's the thing that someone brought up on the text board, which I think is very valid. She complained about how he smelled of dogs. If she was a true dog lover, she would like it. In the end, she reluctantly agreed to a second date, but only if he brought along some puppies, and he agreed to it. It's a puppy date. I can't believe he agreed to it.

She's like, it's not a date. I'm just using you for free puppies. And he's like, okay. I know. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show and we will call the person who didn't call you back. Moving 92.5.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout.

I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapaport, and my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention.

I am here to call it as I see it, and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts.