Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - 2nd Date Update PODCAST: Smooth Operator

Episode Date: September 7, 2018

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Trust the experienced team at the LASIK Center at Evergreen Eye Center. No glasses, no contacts, no limits. What will you do? LASIK at evergreen. Eye Center. No glasses, no contacts, no limits. What will you do? LASIK at Evergreen.com. Moving 92.5. Brooke and Jubal's Second Date Update. Alan is on the phone today for a second date update, and he actually had to go to the hospital right after he met the girl he wants to call today.

So I'm guessing Alan got some lovesickness. Oh, that's what it is. That's what I'm guessing. Is that what happened, Alan? It wasn't exactly that. It's a lack of love sickness, which is why I'm calling you guys. Okay. This is going to be a good story. I like stories that end in the hospital. I mean, as long as the person is fine afterwards.

Okay. I love to tell the tale. What's her name, by the way? Her name is Faith. Faith, okay. How'd you meet Faith? So I'm at a bar with a couple buddies, and I'm a little bit short on cash at the moment, okay. How did you meet Faith? So I'm at a bar with a couple buddies, and I'm a little bit short on cash at the moment, so I need the guys to pay for a round, and they don't want to because they're punks sometimes,

so we start betting each other for what I can do for it. We talk about a bunch of different stuff, and finally I say, look, I'm going to chug this entire bottle of hot sauce if you pay for my drinks. What? This is what you're resorting to? You sounded like a real put-together guy at the beginning of this.

I mean, I'm pretty put-together, but I get dumb sometimes with my friends, and we challenge each other to stupid stuff. Okay, this sounds awful. I'm a man of my word. I chug the hot sauce. Like a whole bottle? Yeah, a whole bottle. It was like three or four gulps.

As like people are hearing us kind of like joke around with each other about me doing it. And so people started paying attention. So by the time that I unscrew the label, like on the top of it, everybody's watching. So like the entire bar, like they literally cut the music on the jukebox. Oh, wow. So you're like the man of the hour. Totally. I had 15 people shouting chug.

What? And that's when she fell for you, when she saw you take that bottle in your hand. Because there's nothing a woman wants more than a man that can chug hot sauce. I think it's, you know, somebody who takes control. I think that's what she saw in me. So she sees, like, I do it. The guy's like, you know, slapping me on the back. And she walks over, which is always a good sign. And she says, that was pretty impressive.

Let me buy you a beer for that. It really did turn her on. You may have found the woman of your dreams. I feel pretty lucky at this point, you know. And we, you know, I go excuse myself from my friends. And we go over to the bar and we're chatting a little bit. And it's really nice. So we start, you know, we exchange numbers, and that's when the hot sauce.

So that's when it kicked in. That's when it kicks in, yeah. All right. And by kicking in, what happened? Well, you know how some people get the runs? Oh, my God. Yeah. I felt like I was about to get the sprints.

I can imagine. Oh, my God. Yeah. I felt like I was about to get the sprints. I can imagine. Oh my God. Oh, that's so gross. And this is why you were talking to her? Oh, totally. Like I'm salivating.

Like I can feel like it's going to get out one way or another. And I don't, we don't want to, I don't want any liquids to get on her. Puke all over or do something else all over. That would have been even more disturbing if you did that and she's just like oh now i really want to take you home right i don't want to know that yet um so i get my buddies to come over i text them real quick and they say like oh we have to go to

this other bar um so i basically make up an excuse we say oh i've got your number i'll text you soon and i leave and that's when I go to the hospital and I found out that I actually have an ulcer. Wait, you left and went to the hospital and you have an ulcer? Yeah, and I'll be fine. It's one of those things where it's, you know, don't be dumb. Like, chug bottles of hot sauce. I don't think doctors recommend

you do that when you have an ulcer. Yeah, nine out of ten don't. So we hung out again and it was nice and we went to a different bar. And I tried to really limit the amount of alcohol that I was drinking because of the ulcer. It was nice, but I had to cut it short. I have this appointment that I legitimately have to get to. And so I have to cut short that hangout.

So this is the second time in a row that I've kind of like been a little bit of a flake to her. You know, like we were barely talking and then I left. And then this other time we were maybe hanging out for like half an hour. So now when I text her and I even tried calling her and left a message, she's just not responding. And I think it's because she thinks that I'm going to bail on her. Did you tell her beforehand that you had an appointment to get to and coffee will be short? You know, I forgot, which is dumb. Why did you schedule it that way?

I was just being dumb. I thought that I like had time to do it. And she was the one who suggested that time. And I didn't want to be like, oh, I'm busy that time. So I didn't even really think about it. I was just excited. She said, let's meet for a date. I was like, oh, yeah, sure, of course.

I'm noticing a theme with you, Alan. Being dumb a lot. Yeah. The hot shots I was dumb. The scheduling I was dumb. Me and my bros get dumb. Yeah. I'll totally cop to that.

I will cop to not always being the smartest guy in the room. Okay. So how long did your hangout actually last? I'd say it was like 25 minutes, half an hour. Enough where we got to kind of know each other and have some, it was starting to get like a good conversation, but then I had to bail. Yeah, that's really short. Yeah, that is really, really short.

I feel like you have to at least have an hour with someone to even be considered not rude. Yeah, like for it to be a date, right? I kind of feel like we haven't even gone on a date yet. Yeah. No, you haven't. You met her at a bar and you had to leave and then go to the hospital because you chugged hot sauce. And then you met up for a date and you were there for half an hour before you had to go somewhere else. I can see how that would make somebody think that you're a little flaky.

Yeah, well, she's so cute and she's super nice. So, like, if anything, I just want to be like, hey, I'm sorry. You're great. But I kind of feel like we have a connection. So I'd like to, if there's a chance, I want to try. And I forget, she's not responding to you now at all or she's just kind of blowing you off? Yeah, she's not responding to me at all. Okay.

Okay, well, we'll play a song and then come back and call her and get your second date update, okay? Awesome. Thanks, y'all. Yeah, man. Hang on second date update. Okay. Awesome. Thanks y'all. Yeah, man. Hang on. Right in the middle of a second date update. And if you're just joining us,

Alan is on the phone and Alan is dumb. Not my words. Those are his words. Alan met a girl named faith at a bar one night. His first dumb move was chugging a bottle of hot sauce because his buddies dared him to do it. She was impressed by that, though. But that's how he met her. And then his second dumb move was after he set up a date with her, he met up with her, but he had an appointment that day.

So they only spent like 30 minutes hanging out and having a few more drinks at another bar like a week later. And now she's not calling him back. Alan, we're about to call her. Are you ready? I'm excited, man. I's not calling him back. Alan, we're about to call her. Are you ready? I'm excited, man. I think that you're right. Sometimes I act dumb, but I think that she's pretty cool and it'd be smart for us to get together.

Yeah, but maybe she's reading the red flags correctly and you are flaky. I mean, I don't think that I'm flaky in that way. Like, I'm probably flaky in other ways. I should probably, you know, do laundry more or something like that, but I'm a good partner. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, dial her phone number right now, get her on the phone, and see if we can get you a second date, okay?

Thanks. Appreciate it, guys. Yeah, man. Here we go. Hello? Hi, may I speak to Faith, please? This is Sheet. Hey, Faith, how are you?

This is Jubal from the radio show Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Wait, who is this again? Jubal from the radio show Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Oh, like a radio station? Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, not the whole station,

but we're on a radio station. We're the whole part. Sorry, I don't know the radio much. I'm calling you today though. I know it's probably confusing why radio show or station or whoever is calling you, but I'm calling you because one of our listeners actually sent us an email about you. Oh, what? Why? Well, because we do a segment on our show. It's called the second date updates, where if you go out on a date with somebody and then end up blowing them off, they can email us and we'll call you and ask why. So you went out on a date with somebody and you're not calling them back and they want to know what they did wrong. Oh, so people do this stuff?

Yeah. Yeah, they do. It's kind of weird, huh? Unfortunately for some people. Fortunately for us, though, because it brings us show content. But the guy who emailed us, his name is Alan. Oh, Alan. Yeah.

Yeah, Alan. He likes his hot sauce. Yes, he did. I could not believe you went up to him. He told us you went up to him in a bar and asked him out after you saw him chug a bottle of hot sauce. Yeah, I was with my girlfriends, and we were, like, chatting, and the whole bar, like, went silent. They turned everything off, and everyone was just watching. And I was like, I want to talk to that guy because I need some happiness and laughter in my life.

Was it the hot sauce that did it, or did you also find him attractive? I mean, yeah, he's good-looking, but I mean, the hot sauce was... Yeah, that's the way to your heart, isn't it, Faith? It's so funny. I mean, it's hard to go talk to people, but it was a good introduction thing, you know, but yeah, him and his buddies had to go. They were going off somewhere else or whatever they were doing, and so we exchanged numbers and stuff. Yeah, and he told us about that. He also said that you guys got together for an actual date, and he had to cut it short. And he thinks that you're not calling him back because you might think he's flaky because he didn't spend a lot of time with you both occasions. No.

No, that's not why you're not calling him back? Yeah, that's not why. Do you mind telling us why? I don't know what he told you about the date. He said that he met up with you at a bar and ended up having to leave like half an hour in. And that's pretty much all he told us. Oh, he didn't tell you anything else about, you know, his appointment or what happened? No, he just said he had an appointment.

I guess we should have asked. We didn't ask. He said that he liked you and that he thought said he had an appointment i guess we should have asked we didn't ask he said that he liked you and that he thought you guys had a good connection yeah we had a good conversation but like what else should he have told us it sounds like you think he should have told us more like there's more to the story so when i got there you know he was there first and he had a drink or whatever. And he's like, yeah, I got to, you know, loosen up for my appointment. And I was like, what are you talking about? And he's like, yeah, I'm going to go get waxed. And I'm just like, oh, why would you do that?

Like, you're going to wax your chest? And he was like, no, I want to wax my nether regions. Oh, that kind of waxing, like a Brazilian or something. Yes. He cut your date short for a wax appointment? Yes. And I was like, why? You know, guys that I've talked to or have dated in the past,

I've never heard of them go for a Brazilian. You know, and I was like, why? And he was like, well, you know, the ladies love it. And I was like, which ladies are you talking to? Like, are you currently seeing somebody now that, like, likes it? Or are you just doing it for future purposes? And he's like, no, man, like, just, you know, I know that the ladies love it. It sounds almost like he was trying to brag to you.

Like, hey, you keep hanging out with me. I'm all smooth down there. Right. Or, like, the assumption that if he goes to get this done, to brag to you like hey you keep hanging out with me i'm all smooth down there right or like the assumption that if he goes get this done he's gonna go you know hook up with somebody and he's all prepared for it or whatever you can't knock a guy for his his upkeep choices right everybody's different they have different preferences at least he's doing something about it. Some guys just let that force grow. I've never seen it either. Maybe it's not so bad.

I don't know. And then, like, you know, towards the end, like, because it was only about 30 minutes or whatever, and there's five minutes left, and he's like, okay, I got to go pay my bill. And I was like, okay. And he comes back with two shots. And he sits down and takes both shots. What? And then he's like, all right, well, I got to go.

He takes both shots and then just, peace, see ya. Come on, man. And how drunk is he getting before he goes and gets waxed? I don't know how long he had been there before I got there. Yeah, but, I mean, it's kind of rude to bring somebody two shots and then take them both yourself. And the table next to me was like, did that really just happen? Yeah, I mean, the shot thing is rude, and also the fact you can reschedule a waxing

appointment, like, any time. It was all just too weird for me, yeah. Okay. Well, I'm sorry to get weird on you again, but Alan is actually on the other line and wants to talk to you. What? Yeah. I said Alan's on the other line and wants to talk to you.

Unless he had to go to a waxing appointment, I don't know. Alan, are you still there? No, I'm here. Alan, are you still there? No, I'm here. Hey, babe. Hi. Do you come to this radio station often? Oh, my God, Alan.

You did not just do that. That is like 18 billion points against you right there. I love it. Oh, my God. I know it's weird. I feel a little awkward because of the situation. But I just wanted to talk to you. On the radio? We weren't returning a phone call or any of my texts.

So I think that you're really cute. I think we have a good chemistry. And, you know, maybe this can be another part of a weird story we tell our grandkids. Oh, God. That's really nice of you to say, but were you listening to what I was just saying about how the whole thing that you're doing down there is just a little weird to me?

It's not... It's just kind of a weird thing that you think that you have to do. What are you talking about? Women love this. I've had more compliments since I started my wax phase than I ever had before. My wax phase. Interesting. What kind of compliments are you receiving, Alan?

I don't want to tell tales out of school, but the feedback has been very good. The feedback. The feedback is very good. Faith, what do you think about that? It's got good feedback down there. Four stars. You got a good Yelp review on that thing. Five stars.

Oh, five. Oh, my God. I just have never heard of this. Even if it's that, like, why would you bring it up on a first date? Yeah. Well, what's more awkward

for me to talk about it beforehand or for, you know, Lil' Davey to show up freshly shorn? Little Davey. So he's got a name, too, that bald little guy. Yeah. King of the wild frontier, man. Oh, my God.

You know, maybe some people say that we talk too much about sex. I don't think that we talk enough about it. I'm just giving you a heads up. I'm sorry if it was a weird way to do it. It's something you're not used to. But I promise you, look, I saw an episode of Sex and the City on it. I'm just giving you a heads up. I'm sorry if it was a weird way to do it. It's something you're not used to, but I promise you I saw an episode of Sex and the City on it. Internet's been blowing

up about it. I've just never heard of it before. I've dated a bunch of guys that have never done it. Tons of girlfriends. No one's ever talked about it. I mentioned it to my friends and they were like, what? Who does that?

He sounds like a really confident man. He's not embarrassed about it. I don't know. I don't think those are negatives. I'm not embarrassed about it at all. I will be very candid about that. I mean, like, how long have you been doing this for? I'm just curious.

I've been doing this for four and a half years. Oh, man. Wow. I've been doing this for four and a half years. Oh, man. Oh. A long-term relationship and some dating and another shorter relationship, so I feel like I've seen the span of how people deal with it, and it's been pretty good. Faith, that is a good sell. I'm going to tell you right now, he has converted at least four men listening to give it a try.

It sounds lovely. It does. I mean, I'm not going to lie. I'm kind of curious now. All right. Well, Faith, then would you go out on a second date with Alan? We will pay for it. I mean, yeah, sure.

That's awesome! Really? Alan. That's what I'm talking about. Congratulations. Oh, man. I would say you got a second date, but I think your hairless buddy got the date. Lil' Davey.

Lil' Davey. Lil' Davey's smooth just like you are, Alan. There's no pressure for Lil Davey to make a special guest appearance, but Faith, I think we're going to have fun either way. All right. Everybody's ready. Congratulations to Faith, Alan

and Lil Davey. Successful second date update. Text in at 78592 says stop manscape shaming. I agree. Talking about today's second date update, if you missed it, this dude Alan met Faith, the girl that he wanted to call, at a bar one night while he drank a whole bottle of hot sauce as part of a bet with his friends.

They ended up going out on a date but only hung out for like 30 minutes because Alan forgot that he had an appointment that day. We called Faith and she told us that the appointment Alan had was to get waxed down there. And she thought it was a little strange. Well, man, can you wax? It's intense. Like, manscaping is one thing, but like, just bare?

Like, getting waxed. I've never come across it. I cannot imagine that. Yeah. Yeah. I just wouldn't want to do it for the pain. I know. Well, or the person who has to do it.

Like, there's a lot of creases underneath. How do you get in there? Even just manscaping down there is kind of difficult. Well, Alan claims that the ladies love having a man who's well-groomed down there and that the feedback he's gotten has been pretty good. And in the end, Faith, her curiosity won out, and she decided to see for herself. So they're going out on a second date.

I think we can all agree. Men or women. We like it if you got a little haircut or a little, you know, something down there. This is one second date update. I'd like a report on how, I'd like a review. I'd like a Yelp review on how this turns out. Remember, if you want to do a second date update, all you have to do is email the show, and we will call the person who didn't call you back.

It is Friday, so Young Jeffrey's Song of the Week is coming up at 8.10. Moving 8.25. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners,

like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First. Introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert,

Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story.

Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.