Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Am I The Jerk? Save The Announcement

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

One of our listeners is soon to be married and she’s already made half her friends and family angry. Is she at fault or are they overreacting?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Un-House stories and news from the Un-House perspective. Listen to Weythian House on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, it's Brick and Jeffrey, and we've got a new podcast for you. Yeah. Thank you so much for being here on your second day podcast.

And Thursdays, we mix it up. We do something a little different every Thursday. And today is something, God, I don't think we've done in a long time. Yeah, I don't think you've definitely probably not heard it in this feed before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's a segment we do called Am I the Jerk, and that's where someone writes in with something that they've done. and then we get to judge them. Yeah, and you, not just us, everybody.

Yeah, everybody. Well, they need help. They're like, look, I know I'm not the jerk, and then we get to judge. Or they think they are. Or they think they are, and we still get to judge. Today is wedding themed, so there's always a jerk involved with a wedding. So you get to comment in the section, as you like to do,

jerk or no jerk. Let's get this going. It starts right now. Ah, weddings. Aren't they fun? Yes. Lavish events filled with flowers and dancing and drinking and laughter. Ridesmaids. But could they also be the breeding ground for jerks?

Oh, wow. I say that because one of our listeners is about to get married in a few months, and already she's made more than half of her friends and family angry. No. That is quite a feat. And she thought she was doing the right thing. Is she at fault, though? You get to decide when she tells us the story,

Am I the jerk? It's coming up. Next. Is there any place on the internet that brides spend more time than Instagram? Oh. I mean, even Pinterest maybe. Pinterest may be pre-upblocker.gov could be another option. It's like an ad blocker?

Instagram does take up a large chunk, though, because you get to see all the cool wedding venues. For sure. New traditions and trends that you want to take and incorporate into your own event. It's so exciting and fun to do. And then you'd like it for a couple days. algorithm transforms. Oh my God. It's just the wedding week.

Exactly. Well, one of our listeners says the idea that she took from online may have backfired on her. And now she wants to know, is she the jerk? Oh, I love these. So in our most non-judgmental voices, let's welcome Ashley to the show. Hey, Ashley. That's good, Jeff. Hi.

Brides are sensitive, especially if they have a big issue. That's good. So, Ashley, welcome. Your wedding is coming up. it hasn't happened yet? Yeah, it's coming up in three months. Oh, that's so fun. But you're already in trouble?

Well, I mean, look, and she's laughing. You know what, though? Ashley's laughing. I think that's a good sign. Or you're crying. I'm not sure which. Tell us about what's going on.

Why did you reach out to us about this? All right. So, as I said, wedding is coming up in three months. Very excited. Very happy to be marrying the love of my life. And I saw this thing on Instagram that people are doing now

to help them see if something. money and to also try to be inclusive, which is sending out non-invites for my way. What? Non-invites? Exactly. What do you mean? What do you mean? Like you get a thing that says you're not invited?

So basically, it's sending out announcements, like, to let people know that we're having a private ceremony and that they're not invited to it. Because it's going to be a... Yeah. Okay. Wait. Your wedding's at three months. Have you already done this?

I have done it and it's a tiny event. Like, we're only having 20 people come. Like, it's just our immediate family. So are the non-invites or you're just soliciting for presence at that point? Is that what you're trying to get? Because that's what Brooke would definitely do. But like, what's your thinking behind? I don't really get the point of it.

Okay. The reason for it is because we want to have like our non, I guess, like top 20 be there with us in spirit. In spirit. Is that what you put on the non-invites? Like, hey, you're in our non-invites. Like, hey, you're in our non-invite. non-top 20, but we still appreciate you. No, no, it just has a link to our wedding webpage that they can like go and that they can

see like it's the announcement, they can see what events are happening and they can like Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like one of our friends, I don't know who it was, took our non-invite and posted it on social media and then blasted it and saying that it's rude and it's tacky and that we're only doing it so that people will buy us gifts. That's kind of how it reads. But yeah. But you swear that's not your, that wasn't your intention.

It's for me. It's just like, what do you want me to do? Like, not tell my friends anything about it and just have them find out later that I got secretly married. Like, that's super rude. I mean, I've had friends. They do have a small ceremony and then they send photos after. And I'm like, we got married. Do you ever feel like, man, I wish I would have known so I could mentally prepare that I wasn't, I didn't make the cut.

Thank God. I didn't have to pay to go to that wedding. Alexis has been to so many weddings at this point. She just wants a break. Yeah, she was happy to not be invited. You love one of these. But you're saying that people online now are calling you rude and tacky because you sent this out telling people. Exactly.

You're just trying to keep them informed that this was going to happen. Exactly. Like the event is going to be close to $20,000. It's not like I'm being cheap. But how else am I supposed to tell people like, hey, we're getting married? Here's our wedding registries. Save the date, but not for you. Yeah.

Not for yourself. I mean, let's think about us on the day. So that's $1,000 a person. You're spending those 20 people you love. Yeah. You really love. Yeah. You know, but.

It's our family and our best friends, literally. Like, I have a decent-sized immediate family. He has a decent-sized immediate family. And it's like our two best friends each, like that. And honestly, I think that they're being jerks for not stepping into my shoes for a second and realizing like it's so stressful to have to cut people out of your wedding. Like, have you gotten any positive feedback from people in your life? that have gotten a non-invite to your wedding?

So, like, I haven't seen any of that yet. I'm hoping that they're going to be like, oh, this is amazing. They're saving me having to spend all this money on their wedding. So how do you feel about the people that get your non-invite and then don't send you a gift? How do you feel about that? Okay, so if they don't want to buy any gifts, that's fine.

If they want to, they can. I strongly encourage them to do that if they want to and support it to a spirit, but it's totally up to them. But if it was me, I would 100% be sending gifts. So is it okay if they send you a spirit gift? If they're only going to be there in spirit, maybe they could send you a new car in spirit. I see.

I see. That's the equal balance of it. It's not tangible, but it's an idea. Yes. And that's my gift to you is the thought of sending you something nice. Oh, my God. I know you guys are joking, but honestly, it sounds tacky if you don't give a gift, right? Honestly, my first reaction was I, like, cringed at this.

But then, like, the more I think about it, I do get, like, graduation invites to, like, cousins of cousins of cousins that I've never met in my life. And they're just asking for stuff. You know, like, they're just... It's the same with baby showers. Like, you know the underlying thing is you're just giving somebody stuff. And how do you know that's going to be a good baby in there? Might be a bad kid. I don't want to give a gift to a bad kid.

That's true. And if you're just tuning in what the non-invite means is basically an... announcement saying we're getting married in a private ceremony. You can't come, but go to our website and check out our registry and follow along. It's like, we want you to know we're getting married and we're celebrating. Unfortunately, we can't afford to have everybody. It's a new trend, apparently, that's happening on Instagram and Ashley tried it. It's backfired for her.

But so anyway, I mean, so you know how this works, Ashley. You're asking us to ask our listeners, are you the jerk? So text in 7-8-5-9-2, jerk or no jerk. about Ashley's private wedding non-invitations that she already sent out. Is she the jerk? Texted it in. We're going to find out the answer. Trendy or jerky?

When we continue, am I the jerk right after this? We're in the middle of doing Am I the Jerk, where one of our listeners, Ashley, was on and told us that she's getting married in a few months here. She had to send out invites to her wedding, but also non-invites, to the friends and family members who didn't make her top 20 cut, since they're trying to rain in the costs. And I would say at the beginning, Brooke, you seemed pretty against it.

But you were having more fun towards the end there. Were you changing your mind on the non-invite trend? No, I was just trying to be kind. Okay. You still hate the idea. You know, it's her choice, it's her decision. I just know if I got that

from a friend, I'd be like, oh. But it's like, I know you're cheap and you don't want to do stuff for friends, but like, what are you supposed to do? Like, I get that it sounds bad, but what's the alternative to not tell your friends anything and just not get any attention for your wedding day at all?

You just circle no thank you and you mail a back. You just say, oh, no, thanks. I am coming and then you just mail it back. I want to not invite. I know they says I'm not allowed to come, but now I know where it is. And best they include the address. Sure.

I didn't think of that. But she's in a tough position having to cut people from her wedding. She doesn't want to not invite people. She's just trying to include everybody. And it can be so uncomfortable. I remember for my wedding I sent an invite out to my parents' friends and their kids wrote me and said, oh, can we bring our kid? And I'm like, but the invite wasn't for you.

Yeah, I barely know you. And then you made them work the party as like waiters and latraces and everything worked out. But we got a lot of reaction on the text board from our listeners. Yeah. Wanting to weigh in on this one said, I would definitely respond to her non-invite by throwing it straight into my fireplace. Not very supportive on that one. Probably good you didn't invite that person. Another text at 7592 says,

I completely understand what she's going through. It's hard to tell people they're not invited. Give her a break. Okay. I mean, it is nice that you pull the Band-Aid off and everybody knows that they're not allowed to come. A small amount.

That's not a lot of people. And one text from a Mrs. B. Fox said, marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be. Don't even do it. So, I don't know. I love marriage. A lot of different opinions there. Unfortunately, Ashley couldn't be on for the second part of this.

Wait, she's gone? She had to put out of fire with one of her cousins who was angry about it, wanted to talk to her. So she had to leave. Wait, she's honestly not on the phone right now. So she's not going to get to hear the results live. But we did ask the listeners, is Ashley the jerk? Oh, she's got scared.

Wait, no, she knows that. That cousin was a lie, Jeffrey. I was trying to be nice, even. Did you hear how nice I was? Yeah, your screaming is very nice. I get it. Can you talk some crap about her now that she's not on the phone? Let's just get to the answers here.

72% said she is the jerk for sending out non-invites to her wedding. Now, real quick, Alexis, am I the jerk for asking you what the other percentage of that is? Real quick, do the math. I use my fingers in 82, 90. 28! Oh, right. 29? Oh, it's 28.

Yeah. The counting on the fingers, though. Unless there's a few that didn't know. You know, there's always those people. Wow, she was in account. 28 on two hands. That should be rewarded. Now, we do have someone else who called in with their own wedding situation that they wanted us to weigh in on.

His name is Leah. So we have a little extra time here. Leo, welcome to the show. Hey, thanks for having me. Hey, we really want to talk to you. We're super glad she's going on. He got a non-invite. What's going on?

You had some sort of wedding situation come up with you? Yeah, so I got an invite to a wedding, and it was a couple of months ago, a bride's just a coworker of mine. They had this a nice event. You know, they did dinner buffet style, which is fine, which is cool. There were 18 tables. I met Table 17. Okay. And, of course, table 16 goes.

And then they ran out of food. Oh, no. Oh. They ran out of food before the last two tables went up. They ran out of food. All they had left was like a half a tray of beans. Oh, my God. What a fail from the caterer.

Oh, no. Or a hungry, yes. Oversaking, you know. I feel like they're played a lot. Oh, you're going to blame them. Just saying. That's the ultimate wedding nightmare is running out of food. Yeah, what's they do?

Did they run out and get burgers for you guys or something? That would have been nice. I mean, like people at the table, you know, we're just watching everyone to eat. And nobody was doing anything about it. It's like they just didn't care. Oh, yikes. Did have the beans, though. So I was like, okay, I'll handle this.

I called for pizza delivery. Yeah. Hey. Yeah, they show up to the venue. They bring in the pizzas. Our two tables start cheering. Okay. The bride, she got so angry.

What? She said that we turned her big day into a white trash wedding. Oh, I can kind of see that. Because of pizza delivery? Well, especially with, like, everybody cheering for the pizza when it came in, that may have been a bad one. Who would have been a bad one? The bride.

No, no. No. What's wrong with a white trash wedding? It's a real question. Brooke got pizza delivered after her wedding. That's why she's drinking. I did. Well, the bride is the one who was upset with you.

What? Oh, yeah, yeah. She was curious. Well, nobody asked her either. I would ask the bride right away. Wait, maybe she didn't know what was going on. That's what I mean. Like, maybe she thought you were just ordering the pizza because you didn't like it or something.

You know? No, no, no. She absolutely knew that they had run out of food. But she didn't know that we called for pizza and maybe I should have let her know. She didn't approve the pizza, but she also knew there was a. any food. She just wanted you to suck it up, I think. Or maybe you should have, like, met them and just ate secretly behind a building.

So you're wondering if you're the jerk for ordering the pizza after they had run out of food at the wedding? Yeah, exactly. And did I really ruin her wedding? How many did you order? Was it enough to share? Did you just get, like, one personal pizza?

I got enough for the two tables. That's all the cheering. All right. So, just wanted to check. Not enough time to do all, like, text board thing. So we're just going to go around the room really quick and vote on this one. Is Leo the jerk for ordering pizza to a wedding that wasn't his when they didn't have enough food for all the guests? Alexis?

I mean, low-key, I would have done the same thing. So, not the jerk. Not the jerk. Okay. Brooke? I mean, I do think you probably should have informed the bride, but I'm still going to say not the jerk. Yeah. Okay.

Everybody loves pizza, but, you know, wedding day is kind of a big deal. You've got to ask the bride. So you're a jerk here for sure. Oh, you're saying he is a jerk. Absolutely. You got a jerk. Of course, everybody loves pizza, but come on, you don't just show up to somebody's wedding. My vote is NC for no class.

Oh! Could have ordered the pizza secretly ate it out in the street like a rat, but you decided to bring it into the venue and shove it in the bride's face. Why are you looking directly at Brooke when you're saying all this? No class. I think it's fine to have no class, just FYI. You got two no jerks, one yes jerk and one no class, making me not the jerk, Leo.

Let's get pizza with you. Okay. Congratulations. Thank you. You know, guys, that's why I called in. You're the ones that are going to give me the brutal honesty I need to hear. That's what we do best. Now, shut up and go to work.

Okay, that's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. An IR Radio Experience. Weekend gold tickets to Ilsoni. One, two, three. With Dom Dalla, Chris Lake and Friends, Woolly, Dead Mouse, above and beyond, subfocus, and more.

flights from Porter Airlines, three nights at Residence Inn downtown Montreal, and $1,000 cash. Enter for your chance to win at iHeartRadio.ca. Ilsonique in Montreal, every day you enter is another chance to win. Hey, I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby. Together, we're going to have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people, like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges, I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer. And that was more difficult.

There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, the text board is still lighting up and our comment section. Thank you so much for all the participation. Yes. Am I the jerk? We've got one jerk and one not jerk.

Am I right? Yeah, that seems to be the conclusion. And more importantly, Jose is still reflecting on how fun my wedding was. It was probably the funnest wedding. I blacked out. Okay, that's how fun it was. That's not a cell. That was before Jose gave up drinking.

Yeah, yeah, I don't drink anymore. Honestly, that's true. The amount of times I've thrown up the food from the wedding I ate, and I'm like, sorry you guys spent so much on my bus. That's why it's important to have good food, right? Yeah. I was a great meal and out. Yeah.

Oh, I did have the same. I wish someone would have ordered pizza. Yeah, yeah. See, we would have saved you some money. We did at your wedding. Yeah, we did. My husband, that was a member, the only thing that he cared about. They showed up and everyone cheered.

It was like, oh, pizza. It was so good. I didn't order enough. We should have ordered more. And I think we ordered like 30 pies for something crazy. Yeah, it was nuts. Pizza, the move, but the woman in part one with the gifts, not the move on the text. No, people are not said in her any gifts.

Some texts we got, besides a lot of just jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, you know. We got, it's not an eight-year-old's birthday part. party at Chuck E. Cheese where the gift is an obligation. Oh, that's well said, though. Why not just leave an announcement on their wedding website, much simpler, less offensive. Yeah. Just jerk. We don't need this.

I mean, it does feel often like people are getting married just for one Instagram pictures and two cash. Yeah. You know, I don't want to say the same as graduates. I know you're out there getting school and just so you can get the check on graduation day. You don't care about chemistry. Yeah. You want that $100 from Grandma.

Yeah. You know it. Perfect. Yeah. The tens of thousands of schooling is worth it. That's so funny. All right. Well, you guys can keep the comments coming.

Yeah. Yeah. Just keep it nice, right? Or kind of nice. This is Emma the Jerk. And tomorrow we'll be back with a new second date podcast. So thank you so much for being here. It's Brick and Jeff.

Joy is essential and it's also elusive. But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence, Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting and moving on-air chats.

Open your free I-Heart Radio app. Search Joy 101 and listen now. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby is presented by CVS. June is Black Music Month and on the Drink Chams podcast, we're speaking with the hottest names in the culture

like Sway Lee. Do you realize how legendary you are. I appreciate that. I'd be seeing it, but I'm like, man, I still got like so much more to do. Like, Prince, he dropped like 30 albums. We dropped like five right now. That's the rate we got to be going. Yeah, that's a good attitude. No matter the era, Drinkchamps

brings you the biggest names and the most unfiltered conversations. Listen to Drink Chams from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. For years, the Un-House has been presented as a monolith

and mainstream media. Weedian House is a podcast that's changing the narrative. I'm Theo Henderson, and I created this show while I was unhoused on the streets of Los Angeles. We've grown into a two-time Webby Award-winning podcast, the only podcast that shares unhoused stories and news from the unhoused perspective. Listen to Weythian House on the IHard Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Every family has its secrets. But what happens when you discover that your dad has been living a double life? That is not the look of an innocent man. Is everyone lying to me about who they are? I felt such desperation. I felt it was what I had to do. Listen to Deep Cover the Family Man on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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