Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Awkward Tuesday: Carrot Top Jackpot

Episode Date: January 12, 2025

Our listeners love dysfunctional relationships so much, we didn't wanna deprive you. Here's a segment from our Full Show feed that may have even more drama than a Second Date Update. Let us know what you think!  One of our listeners is about to get fantastic news… His wife went on a girls trip to Vegas and maybe one of the best things ever just happened to her… in your Awkward Tuesday Phone Call!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts i'm emmy olea host of the podcast Crumbs.

For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapoport, and my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rapoport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention. I am here to call it as I see it. And there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, you made it to the podcast. Welcome. And we tried a thing in December. Hey, you made it to the podcast. Welcome. And we tried a thing in December. Yeah, we did. Right? What did we do, Alexis? We started putting Awkward Tuesdays on a Sunday. Totally makes sense.

Oh, yeah. We're breaking the laws of the internet. It's not awkward for that day. And we asked you, do you like it? Do you want us to keep doing it? Overwhelmingly, people commented on our Spotify page that, yes, please keep doing them. Definitely keep it up. I could binge this all day. And one person even said

this is pretty mid. I love a pretty mid comment. Hey, Jeff is commenting. I'm glad. So listen, you're stuck with your Awkward Tuesdays on Sunday. And if you want to hear a full hour of our show, we do a brand new show every day, Monday through Friday. Just go to the Brooke and Jeffrey main feed.

But for now, let's make things a little weird and get awkward. When was the last time you heard news that actually made you happy? Oh, boy. Oh, you say the word news and I get depressed. It does happen. And I know for Alexis, it was when White Claw came out with a flavor called Kickball Crunch. Ooh, that is really exciting. What's crunchy?

You made me happy again. Taste and find out. For Jose, it was getting his negative test results back. Oh, yeah. That was a big day. That was for brain function. For Brooke, she was thrilled when authorities decided to hold off on the search warrant. But don't worry, Michael.

Someday, somebody will find you. I promise. Are you listening? He's happy there. Okay. Well, today, one of our listeners is about to get some fantastic news. Because his wife went on a girl's trip to Vegas. And maybe one of the best things ever just happened to her. You're going to find out what it was when we do your brand new Awkward Tuesday phone call next.

When you think of Awkward Tuesday, I know a lot of us, including our listeners, probably think, uh-oh, it's cringe time. Yeah. Totally. Like when Uncle Ivan lost his tooth in the chocolate fountain. How do you tell somebody, hey, I think you may have eaten my tooth? Yeah. That's not a marshmallow floating in your mouth. Why is the tooth floating?

I'm saying it's cringey for sure, but it doesn't always have to be that way on this show and for this segment. And today's proof, because one of our listeners, Jamie, wants to share some surprising but good news for once. We couldn't be happier to help. So, Jamie, you do realize the last three people that we had on this segment cried after the show. So are you sure you want to do this? Yes. Yes, I'm sure. Okay.

One of the people crying was me. I'm hoping that it's like cry with happy tears. I love crying that way. I mean, doesn't she have a surprise? Surprises are good, right? Well, hopefully there's no crying at all. That's what I would ask for this segment. Oh, I show every emotion through tears.

Okay. Not everybody's as emotionally unstable as you. So let's ask Jamie, why did you email us for help today? Okay. So the other week, me and five of my close girlfriends, we had this like getaway.

It was like a four to five day getaway. Fun. Oh, that's great. Girls week. Good for you. Yeah. Thank you. It was awesome.

We were in Palm Springs. Oh, beautiful. And while we we were there we decided one day we were gonna go to las vegas okay that's my home away from home yeah i mean because like palm springs is fun and there's like nightlife but it's not like vegas nightlife yeah and um we're just there for a day and it got to be 11 p.m., so it was really late. And I was like, all right, good night, you know. But then my other girl, my girlfriend, though, were like, let's gamble. Yeah, you're in Vegas. You're going to bed at 11 o'clock?

Yeah, why aren't you on the slots at least? Why are you sleeping? And you get free drinks while you gamble. All right, all right. Well, I was, you know, I've never really gambled, and I don't know the rules. So I was like, let's just go to bed. Sorry, we don't mean to shame you for your trip. But there's always one friend in the group.

I mean, Jose's right. There's always the one. I'm that one friend, yeah. But you were convinced to go gambling. Yeah, so then I was convinced to go with them, right? And they were playing blackjack. Uh-huh go gambling. Yeah, so then I was convinced to go with them, right? And they were playing blackjack. Uh-huh. Fun.

Yeah. And I was like, I do not know this game. So I just sat at a slot machine. I just watched. Good. And I was sitting there for a while. And then all of a sudden this guy, who I was pretty sure was Carrot Top, started hitting on me. Oh, my gosh.

Carrot Top. Okay, if anybody doesn't know, Carrot Top's been, like, performing. He's a comedian, a prop comic in Vegas for, like, 30 years. But he's, like, super muscly now. Super ripped. Yeah. They call him Carrot Top because of his red hair. Well, okay.

Well, it looked a lot like him, but it wasn't. I don't think it was him. Okay. Oh, that's just Sam. I mean, it would probably be hard for Carrot Top to go anywhere in Vegas. Yeah. He's kind of iconic there. It would probably be hard for Carrot Top to go anywhere in Vegas. Yeah. He's kind of iconic there. He would have a team of bodyguards. Okay, I'm just sad how much we know about Carrot Top.

I don't know anything. That's kind of depressing to me. Is he hot? No, he's not hot. He's got a red head that's not hot. Okay. So some guy that looks like Carrot Top's hitting on you by the slots. Yeah.

And I wasn't having it because I have a husband, and it's carrot top looking like guys so i moved to a different slot machine you know away from my girlfriends and i was bored because they were playing forever and so i decided to play the slot machine okay as one does yeah yeah yeah that's how they get you and all of a sudden it started like freaking out like it was like ding ding bong you know, bong, bing, bing, bing. You know, freaking going really crazy. What?

Wait, can you make those noises again? Bing, bong, bing, bong, bing, bong. Bing, bong, bing, bing, bing, bing, whatever. Wow. Is there a slot machine on the phone? I feel like I'm there. So what did you win? What did you win?

I won $15,000. Whoa! Oh, my God! That's so exciting! And you were going to go to bed that night. Yeah! Oh, my God! Now the party's really on.

Yeah. That's carrot top money. That is awesome. I was freaking out in all sorts of ways, and I was away from my girlfriend, so they didn't even see that I won it. So a lot of stuff was going through my mind. Okay. So one, I wanted to tell my husband, but it's like way too late at this point, because he wakes up really early. Who cares? You just won 15 grand.

Yeah, you're right. You know, I guess looking back, I probably should have just gone for it. But you know, number two, I wanted to, like, tell my girlfriends right away. But they would text their husbands because they don't care. And they'd wake them up to tell them. And then their husbands would tell my husband. Okay. And I didn't want to ruin the surprise that way. Yeah.

Dude, you could surprise all of them in the morning at the same time. That's actually cool. I like your way of thinking. Right? Yeah. So I was like, okay, I'm going to take this stuff home because, yeah, exactly. I think it would be fun to come back down with my husband and catch it. Oh, yeah.

And then it would pay for a little trip plus more. You were trusting yourself to hold on to a little piece of paper that says you were owed $15,000? Are you joking me? I never put it down. It was like in my hands at all times. I was so afraid to lose it. Good. Good. And so, wait, you haven't told your friends or your husband about this yet?

No. Wait, is this the awkward part? Do we get a call and tell them? You're gonna tell them? So I want you guys to help me tell my husband, Nick. Yay! He's at work right now. Oh my god. We are actually He's at work right now. Oh my God.

We are actually going to make someone's day today. Yes. That's awesome. Is this a bad time to let you know we do have a $15,000

surprise fee? Okay, no. This is actually really exciting. We never get to deliver news like this. Hold on. It's still Awkward Tuesday.

We're not just going to call and say, hey buddy, surprise. Are we going to like... We got to give her some advice. How are we going to say it? That's what our jobs are. So we're going to call and say, hey, buddy, surprise. Are we going to like... We've got to give her some advice. How are we going to say it? That's what our jobs are.

So we're going to play a song. We're going to think about what you just said. We should tell them bad news first. We'll think some ideas, hopefully some better ones than that, and we'll come back. We'll give you our advice and let you make your awkward Tuesday phone call and tell your husband you just won $15,000 in Vegas.

Aw. Thank you. Hold on. It's awkward. It's Tuesday. It's awkward Tuesday phone call. Now, how do you surprise your husband

with the news that you won $15,000 on a slot machine during a girls trip in Las Vegas. Don't you want to just do like a trail of dollar bills to the bed instead of rose petals? Yeah, I guess we want to be weird about it. I personally

would recommend you hire Carrot Top to do it for you, but if you can't afford him, then you go with the cheap option. The much much cheaper option. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Yeah. It's that free 99 option.

We might not have cool, wacky props or big orange hair, but we have a secret weapon. What's that? Alexis. What? What's your idea? No. I'm the secret weapon. That's not good for you.

I'm sorry. What do you think? What would I do to surprise someone I would yep see you get what you paid for with Brooke and Jeffrey she's going to spoil a surprise I probably would have spent it all already

surprise this outfit is new because I bought it with a lot of money that's an option for you Brooke maybe you have something well okay I just think you've got to be careful about the way you deliver this because if my husband came home from a Vegas trip and said,

honey, I have something to tell you, immediately my gut sinks and I'm having alarm bells going off. I just think you need to lead with, this is good news. Okay, yeah. I'll try to remember that. like, this is good news. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll try to remember that. I'm like really nervous right now. Okay. This is great news. Tell him it's good news. Yeah. Good.

Jose, what do you think? Mine's a lot more fun. I say when you get on the phone, right? You tell him I have a huge surprise, but he has to guess with just one hint. That's when you start doing the jackpot sound effects. Oh, that she did? That's what you were doing. And if he guesses, then you say, yes, you're right, we got $50,000!

Yes, and if he gets it wrong, then the marriage is over. An ultimatum. Yeah, there has to be something at stake if you're going to do it that way. You did listen to her jackpot sound effects. They don't sound like a jackpot at all. Well, who said it was going to be easy? Maybe her husband

knows her better than anybody. He would understand what it means. It's more fun at least, right? At the very least, we have a funny sound effect that we can play in the middle if it's all going to hell. So that's going to be our backup plan. You feel ready to do this, Jamie? Oh my gosh.

Okay, so just smile and make the noises? Yeah! Do that! That's what she took from it. Okay, well, we'll see what comes out. All right, I'm going to dial your husband's number, and you can tell him that you're a 15,000-air now. Yay!

Okay, okay, thank you. Okay, here we go. Hello? Hey, babe. Oh, hey. Are you busy right now? I'm at work, but, you know. Yeah, are you having a good day?

It's work, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's going on? Uh, I actually have to tell you something. I'll try to make it quick. Um, I know I told you that we went to Vegas, you know, me and the girls. Um, but there's something I did not tell you. Um, what, what didn't you tell me what what do you mean okay sorry I'm like so nervous right now I just I'm I'm really bad at surprises I'm just um okay yeah just just promise you'll be mad promise I won't be mad yeah there's something I didn't tell you that why why would I no that makes me I'm like scared now i'm like did you did you like drunkenly hook up with someone no no honey i i would never cheat on you but you know there was

actually this guy that looked like carrot top he looked like him it wasn't actually oh my god if you tell me you screwed carrot top i oh my, no. I did not have sex with Carrot Top. I did not. Sorry to disappoint you. Just tell me, okay? Okay. Okay, so while I was in Vegas, I actually tried gambling for the first time. Oh, no.

What? You lost a lot of money, didn't you? no no i told you i'm not dipping into our child 529 anymore no no no no god oh my god you're so dramatic right now you're dramatic just tell me what happened okay so yeah i didn't know what i was doing but while i was at the the slot machine i ended up winning a bunch of money shut up you did not i'm serious i want a really big jackpot you're lying there's no way you would have told me right away oh come on i wanted to surprise you and i didn't want to tell any girls because they you know they would have told me right away. Oh, come on. I wanted to surprise you. And I didn't want to tell any of the girls because they would have blabbed at their husband. So I waited.

Wait. You're f***ing serious? I am. How much did you win? Are you sitting down? Yes. How much did you f***ing win? I won $15,000.

Oh, f***. Get me out. What? Did you hear that? Did the phone cut out? Say it again. Say it again. Yeah, tell him.

It hasn't clicked yet with him. $15,000. Get me out. Yay. Dave, I heard you, but who are all those people? What's going on? It hasn't clicked yet with him. $15,000. Yay! Dave, I heard you, but who are all those people? What's going on? Why are you not excited? Hey, what up, Nick?

We're fucking Jeffrey in the morning. Yeah, you're on the radio right now. And we're trying to deliver some great news to you, man. Yeah, you won money. Congrats, bro. You won $15,000. Go home from work right now. All right, this is super weird, baby.

You know they take like six grand off for taxes, like right there. What? Oh. Negative. It's $15,000. I mean, who cares if there's taxes taken out? It's free money, dude. I guess, but she set it up like it was this huge jackpot. I thought she was going to say like, you know, like a million dollars or something.

Oh, that's funny. Jackpot. That just took the wind out of her sails. That would have been better news. You are right, though. I mean, she actually set it up like she cheated on you in the beginning, if you want to be accurate. I don't know what happened there.

Also, are you an accountant? You think of taxes a lot. Yeah. As always. Your mind went right to it. Wow. Doesn't it sound exciting, though? Like, she gambled for the first time and won a lot of money.

I guess it's cool, but, babe, you didn't cash it in yet? No. I wanted to do it together so we could, like, celebrate. Aw, free trip. That's cute. It's going to pay for it. Cool. Now we're going to have to fly out and spend more money just to get the money.

Awesome. But that's a whole experience, bro. You go with your lady and your free money. Did you know the man you married was so boring? Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to do another girls trip. Are you rich or something? No, we're not rich, but like, babe, we literally couldn't even buy half a car for that amount. I mean, a used car, yeah.

Okay, so you're telling me you're sitting at the jackpot. It's not her, it's you, and you win 15,000 and you're just like, huh, that sucks. Why not even come here? No, it's fine. I was just thinking the way you set it up, I thought it was going to be like a million bucks.

Like quit your job, Rich. I see what you're saying. Jamie, could you go back to the slot machines and maybe try again and get a million? We can do it better next time. Or put it all on black. Jamie, I'm sorry. Yeah, I was going to do these sounds.

You know what those sounds are, Nick? R2D2 having a heart attack? I don't know. It sounds are, Nick? R2D2 having a heart attack? I don't know. It does sound like that. Yeah, actually, that was a pretty good guess. Yeah, slot machine jackpot sounds. Nick? Well, it's just, you know, we can go to Olive Garden.

Oh! For the tour of Italy. Wow. Bottomless bread steak. Extra boat of Alfredo. I mean, this is amazing. We found some way to take a very happy situation

and make everybody angry with each other. Only Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning has that type of magic. Yeah. We can frustrate anyone. So am I done?

Do I still have to be on the phone with you guys? Because I have to get back to work. No, no. Go ahead. Go back to work, man. The Gladys wasn't a collect call. Yeah. Jamie, it sounds like you probably should have hooked up with that Carrot Top local.

I mean, they've got more money out there. Seriously. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh, we're so done with new year, new you. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them.

More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will, too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel.

And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight

to your ears with The Daily Show ears edition podcast dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radio Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good.

You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapaport. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I am here to call it as I see it. And there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts.