Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Awkward Tuesday: Invisible Girlfriend

Episode Date: December 22, 2024

Our listeners love dysfunctional relationships so much, we didn't wanna deprive you. Here's a segment from our Full Show feed that may have even more drama than a Second Date Update. Let us know what you think!    In your Awkward Tuesday Phone Call, one of our listeners is convinced her brother is hiding a big secret from the family, and she wants to reveal it with our help!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all. Every day in just 15 minutes,

we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. People, my people, what's up? This is Quartz Love.

Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Quartz Love Supreme. Man, we've got we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You've got to check them out.

Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast. And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Hey, welcome to the weekend edition of your second day update. And I don't know how to

tell you this. We're going to try something new. I know. Not for you. Not for us. Not for us. I know people don't like new things, but we're just curious because we know you love dysfunctional relationship drama. Yes. And many of our new listeners on the Second Date feed right here, thank you so much for being here, don't realize that we actually do a full hour of brand new content every day. A full show that's not all second dates. We do

another segment that is very relationship drama heavy. And very loved. Yes. Yes. Totally beloved. That's called Awkward Tuesday Phone Calls. And that's whenever you have a relationship issue and you need our help making a phone call. So on Sundays, just for this month only, we're going to try it out, see what you guys think. If you like it, if you don't like it, let us know in the comments. I think you're going to love it. I mean, if you like the second date, you're going to be obsessed with Awkward Tuesday. Yeah, I mean, sometimes they're more dramatic. Yeah, because it could be anything.

Yeah, truly, truly. I could call Brooke, tell her I stole her wallet and I want to come clean about it. Oh, wait, did you do that? Oh, by the way, we should have a talk after this. All right, here it is. Here's your Awkward Tuesday phone call on a Sunday just for you. We're trying it out. Listen up.

We've all lied to our parents before. Sometimes you have to. Yeah, honestly. Like, no, Mom, the chicken wasn't too dry. Yeah, I love the electric nose hair trimmer for my birthday. I'm so glad you gave me that instead of a car. I never even wanted to be cool anyway. Thanks, Mom.

But look at this nose. Some lies are bigger than others. And one of our listeners today needs our help for that exact reason. Because she's worried that her brother has been hiding something from her entire family for over two years. It's a big secret, and I can promise you this. It might lead to a huge family blowout if we don't step in right now. I love family secrets. Let's step in. We're going to do it in your brand new Awkward Tuesday phone call next it's awkward it's tuesday it's awkward tuesday phone call i've told you guys

countless times about how awkward it is to hang out with my family yeah you know we love hearing about it yeah yeah hearing about it's one thing living it is a different experience because just this past weekend my father angrily did dishes for a half hour. Why? Because nobody else was doing them at the time. So he was getting his hands wet, cursing, while violently shoving plates into the dishwasher, screaming about how he doesn't want to get food poisoning again. All right.

This all checks out. So there you go. I didn't see this. Just a normal family gathering for the DuBose. And one of our listeners, Lauren, is having her own issues with an upcoming family get-together, apparently regarding her brother. Lauren, do you think maybe your brother wants to hang out and do dishes with my dad? Because it might actually solve both of our problems.

Oh, family swap. Yeah. I would love that. Oh, okay. I mean, Jeff says that, but you know he was in the other room being like, I know he's mad, but I really don't want to do him. He's like, Dad, keep it down. I'm watching a musical in here.

Don't judge me. Enough about my dad and his dishes anger. What about your brother? What's going on with him? Okay, so it's rather bizarre because my brother's been in a relationship with a girl for about two years now. Oh, okay. So they've been together for a while.

Yeah, they have. They have. Two years, especially for my brother, two years is a while because he's always been a super career-oriented, focused guy, you know? I thought for sure that was not going to be followed by a compliment, and it was. Well, you thought he was going to use a big loser? Yeah, exactly. Because he's my brother, and who'd want to be with him? Yuck. Okay. Good sister.

Some people are like that, though. They don't get into a lot of relationships. Yeah. Yeah, like me. Right. But the issue is that it's been two years, and we've never met her. What?

Oh, that sketch. That's a long time. What do you mean you've never met her? Well, Whoa. Oh, that sketch. That's a long time. What do you mean you've never met her? Well, he's super secretive about her. And he won't tell us much or show us photos. He's showing me a couple of Polaroids. Polaroids? You know what I mean?

Polaroids. I know. He's vintage. What can I say? They're back. They're back. Yeah, you can print them from your phone now. Duh.

Oh, that's cool. That's right. Wait, do they live in another country or something? Is that why? Like, I just, they can't be close to you then, right? We don't live super close, no. But whenever the opportunity for us to meet her comes up, all of a sudden she's either busy or sick or something's come up.

And, you know, it's just getting super weird. What do you think is happening in this situation? Do you think he's just ashamed of you and your family? Oh, I thought he was going to be ashamed of the girlfriend. That's where I went. That's why I didn't introduce anybody. He's not ashamed of either. I think there's always this pressure from

my parents. When are you going to settle down? When are you going to get married and have a family? And part of me thinks he may have made her up just to get them off his back. You don't think she's real? Oh, there's the real team. Oh, I had one of those girlfriends for a few years, and that was kind of nice.

I'm being serious. Is he really? Just someone that you make up just to get your parents off your back? Mom, I've been dating the same girl for 15 years since I was in third grade. I told you. Sarah's just very shy. Okay, okay. That would be one thing to make it up for your parents

because they're putting pressure on you. But he would lie to you as well, you think? His own sister about a girlfriend? Yeah. That's where you should be cool. He might be embarrassed, you know? And I just want to let him know that if that's the case, he doesn't have to make someone up.

Like, he can be honest. So we're just going gonna publicly call him out i like it yeah i am confused what what is it that you want to do with your call here you want to call your brother and say what i don't know what to say that's why i'm calling you but the big issue is that i have to do it this way because my parents said that they are going to confront him about it. Yes, I want to get to him and get the answers before they, you know. Pre-confrontation. It's like a whole family discussion behind his back that everyone thinks his girlfriend's fake.

And I would see that now. After two years, you're like, okay, every single time, every year, it does kind of get sketched. Are you sure you don't want that to happen just for the good video that you could post? No. I'm trying to save him before things get really ugly because there could be a huge

fallout. I didn't think about that. Maybe she is really ugly. You could be right about that. Is that what she said? No. I thought I heard her say she could be really ugly. You could be right about that. Is that what she said? No. I thought I heard her say she could be really ugly. No, things could get really ugly and there could be a fallout. Oh, okay. But it still is a decent theory, right?

No. Okay, that could be it. We'll find out. We're going to play a song. We'll come back and we'll give you. It's the shortest Awkward Tuesday ever. Oh, she ugly. She's an ugly one.

Sorry. No, we're going to play a song. We'll come back and we'll give you some advice and let you make your awkward Tuesday phone call to your brother to find out if his girlfriend is real or made up. Or just shy. We're going to do it right after this. All right. Thank you.

All right. Hold on. It's awkward. It's Tuesday. It's awkward Tuesday phone call. Today, we're on a mission. A mission to track down the invisible girlfriend. Is she real? We don't know.

This is what we have. We have no social media posts of the two of them together. No family meetups. And two blurry Polaroid photos that have been seen at a brother-sister get-together, along with a million excuses for why she can't ever meet the fam. Oh, my God. Maybe she's Bigfoot. Oh.

Blurry photos. It makes it so we've never seen her. She's a mystery. But here's my question. If she's invisible, how do we know she's not on the phone with us right now? Oh. Dana, are you here? Blink twice if you're here.

I'm not hearing the blinks. We want her to be here. I prefer that. But no, this is a real situation. We're not joking around. It's been two years, and one of our listeners, Lauren, says she has still not met her brother's girlfriend. And it's becoming a little bit of an issue in their family. So she's looking to get ahead of this before her parents get involved brooke what's your advice for

lauren before we call her brother listen the quickest way to bond with your sibling is to have a common enemy and we all know that enemy is always your parents i'm right okay so listen you need to go to him and be like oh oh my God, you are not going to believe what mom and dad are saying behind your back. And I don't even know how to respond. Throw him under the bus. Yeah. No.

Yes. Throw your parents under the bus and then hopefully he'll come clean and be honest with you. Lauren, you liking that? I do like that strategy. I do. Good. Divide and conquer.

Divide the parents. Okay. So throw the parents under the bus. That's option one. Jose, what do you think? I really like what you said towards the end of our last phone call, which was you are trying to save him. So emphasize that so he knows like, hey,

I'm not just being a bossy older sister here. I'm truly trying to help and I think that he'll naturally come clean. You don't care if he doesn't have a girlfriend, right? Yeah, you have him regardless, right? You're the hero here. In fact, call yourself a hero when you talk to him. You're going to save his relationship with mom and dad.

Are you ready to do this? That's all I want for Christmas. Okay. All right. I love it. That's sweet. Here we go. It's a family war.

A little family division. All right, I'm going to dial your brother's phone number. We're going to back away and let you talk to him, but we'll jump in when we feel like you need a little help, okay? Okay, sounds good. All right, so here we go. Hello? Hello, Jake.

Lauren? Yes. Hey. How are you? I'm good. I didn't know it was you calling. Your name didn't pop up. Oh, I'm sorry about that. You know, sometimes that'll make it a surprise, right? Switch things up. Yeah. What do you mean?

Well, I don't know. Listen, listen. So the holidays are right around the corner, right? Yeah. You know. Looking forward to it. Yeah. Mom and dad are really excited to get together as always. And they keep asking me if we're going to get to meet Dana. Well, I don't know.

I mean, she's got a lot on her plate right now. So I'm not sure if she'll have time. I mean, maybe. You're joking, right? What do you mean? She's not going to have time? Yeah, I mean, maybe. You're joking, right? What do you mean? He's not going to have time? Yeah, I mean. It's been over two years now, Jake.

We haven't met her. Well, yeah, I mean, I'm sorry, but timing's been off. It just hasn't been the right time. I mean, Jake, timing's always been off. It just, is there something else going on? I don't know what to tell you. I mean, she's just not ready. Is it dad cream cheese and ranch ham?

Because trust me, I get it. No, there's nothing to do with that. Okay, well, I'm your big sister, and mom and Dad have been talking about this to me, and I hate that. It's not good. So what? I mean, it's none of their business. I mean, they can talk about it as long as it's not to me. They think you're hiding something, Jake.

And to be honest, at this point, I kind of do, too. Oh, come on. Jake, just be honest, okay? exist is she real is Dana is Dana a real person because it's okay if she's not like I get the pressure I was there too before I met Cooper listen she's real I've already told you that and honestly that's crazy that you think I'm lying about it it's kind of what am I kind of... What am I supposed to think? What am I supposed to think? There's no social media posts.

I come over to your house and there's a few blurry Polaroids. You know, it's just... It's weird. Look, I mean, I get it, but I can't do anything about it. She's not ready. We're not ready. It's just not the time. What do you mean we're not ready? Not ready for what?

It's been two years. Fine. We're not ready because Dana isn't her real name. What are you talking about? The real name is Claire, and you know her. What are you talking about right now? I don't understand. It's our stepsister, okay?

Oh, my God. What's that? What? Oh, my God. What's that noise? Jake, hey. What? Who is this?

Hey, man. Oh, my God. What is this? I think we need a second over here. My name is Jeff. I am freaking out. Oh, my God. Jake, you're on a radio show right now. What?

Don't worry. Not a lot of people listen to us. Just a few million. Just a few million. Yeah, we're good. But it is interesting to hear this. We know a lot about some of your story from your sister. Jake, are you serious?

It's Claire? Claire? Okay. Please tell me it's like an adult stepsister, like you didn't grow up together. Did you grow up together? Yeah. We were like 13. Oh, okay.

You're basically adults. See, they're not kids. They were teenagers. Yeah. Well, in the Jewish tradition, 13 is adulthood. And I don't know what your religion is, but since you celebrate Christmas, it's probably not. Were you dating your stepsister? Lauren, Lauren, I knew you'd react like this.

This is why I don't tell you guys stuff. I mean, everyone is just too judgmental. This really does make a lot of sense. That's not normal, Jake. That's not normal. Why not? It's not like we're blood related. It's fine.

How did that even happen? Like, did this happen at like another family holiday event? Like, do you know what I'm saying? That's true. Brooke wants to take notes so she can make it happen for herself. How did you organize this? It happened way after our teenage years. I never thought this would happen.

I just, I don't know. We ended up hanging out as adults and started falling for each other. I like her. I don't know. I don't care. So wait, when we're talking about your mom and dad, is it your mom and stepdad that we're talking? Like, oh my, there's like a lot of family dynamics here. Yeah.

We can at least acknowledge there's no blood relation. I lived with her in high school. I lived with her in high school. You can't date her. Well, it's great because that way you've already met. That was what the whole problem was. You said that you never met her, so you know her. You know her well.

That's not funny. You should be happy because you have already met her, and she's great. Isn't she already at your family holiday stuff? You guys just aren't acting like a couple during it? Exactly. I mean, that's why I haven't made a big announcement. She's already there. Oh, my God.

So what do you do? You have to wait until you guys get engaged to tell them? Yeah. What exactly was the plan here, Jake? When were you going to come forward and say what your up? What exactly was the plan here, Jake? Like, when were you going to come forward and say what your relationship was? What was the plan, Jake? I mean, this is the issue. I mean, I get

it. Like, I know that it's maybe not the most normal thing, you know, to be attracted to your stepsister, but I just... I can't ignore my feelings, and neither can she. I mean, look, we are a show that's all about love. Right, Brooke?

Love is love. So you have to support this. I get it, but like the shock. And if you were going to pull the Band-Aid off, it would have helped like two years ago. Now you have created all of this for two years. Because they're going to be upset that he didn't say anything before. And they're both in the same room while people are asking him about his girlfriend. Okay, be honest.

Do you guys ever sneak away, though? I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I imagine it's like, oh, I'll be the dad that gets it. I know. All those family vacations you guys took together. Oh, wow. I don't know where you're sharing rooms.

So now you guys get it, right? Like why I'm not. Oh, totally. Yeah, I can kind of understand why that would be difficult to tell mom and dad. If that was a text, I would have deleted it.

Yeah. I never thought I would say this, but maybe it's better not to tell mom and dad. Oh. Wait another year and I'm going to cross my fingers and hope you break up by then.

Oh, no. That's not supportive, Lori. Why do I feel like she'll tell them for you? It's not going to be horrible then. If you don't tell them, then we can maybe even do a closure call coming up or a second date update in the future. Like with Jake and his parents? No,

with Jake and his stepsister. It's the content that keeps on giving. That's what this segment is all about. Why don't we just do a phone tap on the parents and see how they react? Just kidding! It's a new recurring segment And that's what this segment is all about. Why don't we just do a phone tap on the parents and see how they react? And at the end we can go, just kidding. Just kidding. It's a phone tap. It's a new recurring segment that we do.

I like it. I like it. Almost. Test out the waters. Yeah. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Ugh. We're so done with New Year, New You.

This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will, too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers. So that's why we created The Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts, to give you the context you need to make sense of it all.

Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season.

But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season but you know i don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far i mean we talked to amyree johnny marr e jonathan sheckner billy porter and so many more look if you haven't heard these episodes yet hey now's your chance you gotta check check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 1.4 billion dollars in NFL quarterback contracts.

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