Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Awkward Tuesday: JFK & Oprah the Assassin

Episode Date: July 14, 2026

Stacy wants to explain how her romantic hangout nearly turned into a CRIME SCENE… and why her neighbor is now blaming HER for it, in your Awkward Tuesday Phone Call!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, fam, it's sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the hosts of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together. We're breaking down the biggest headlines, the viral moments, and the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports. From game-changing performances to culture-shifting conversations, we'll give you our takes, our debates, and a few laughs along the way.

Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to Everyone Watches Women's Sports. On the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. My first guest is Paris Hilton, Shakira, Luke and Yerrin. You have surprises? Many surprises. Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group check comes to life. What on?

You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst. It's lemonade. This is Sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Raiders of the Lost podcast, we explore cinema like no one else, including huge interviews with stars like Ryan Gosling on Project Hail Mary. It was like the Jaws Shark. Didn't always work, came with its own problems.

That's what made it great. The cast of obsession. On set, there was so much magic happening with each scene we were putting together. Deep dives into classics like 2001 of Space Odyssey or Fight Club, plus weekly episodes on all industry news. Listen to Raiders of the Lost podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And for more, follow at Raiders of the Lost podcast and at TikTok podcast network on TikTok. Here at the Happiness Lab, we're serving up some hot takes for the summer. Big ideas that just might reshape how you think about your well-being.

Like the radical notion that we should get rid of small talk completely. We talk about current events. We talk about what you do for a living. But not do you love what you do for a living. Is this your dream job? For more surprising ideas backed by psychological science, check out our new series, Happiness Hot Takes. Listen to the Happiness Lab with me, Dr. Laurie Santos,

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that.

Listen to Podlandia. Ayo, rewatch, starting to just. July 16th on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here we go. We got a brand new episode for you today, and it is a awkward Tuesday phone call. Yeah. Thanks for finding the official second date podcast. We appreciate you. You are here instead of any of those that have an AI picture of us on it. Although they are funny to look at it.

Oh, my gosh. I always click on it. Seriously. And we got a brand new YouTube episode up where you can watch one of our second dates. The one today features maybe one of the most hated men we've ever had on a second date update. Enrique, oh, he was hated. And you're going to say comments, you said on it, like, this made me want to punch my phone screen, but boy, do I hope we get a live video so I can see Brooks' face.

There you go. Or, you know, I was about to fall asleep. I thought I'd listen to this, and now I can't sleep because I'm too mad. Yep, there it is. So go get mad again, and you can watch us all get mad with you in the studio, I promise. On our YouTube. My face doesn't hide much. No, it really doesn't.

Okay, on our YouTube at Brooke and Jeffrey, and here's your brand new Awkward Tuesday phone call. Honestly, I can admit we're a little jealous of all the attention and downloads and subscribers those murder mystery podcasts get. Oh, that's wild. That's why when we got an email saying that one of our listeners and her neighbor

almost witnessed a killing together, we knew we had to get her on the phone. We didn't get the police on the phone. We are not certified to do this. No, what that's that? But you know what, neither are those podcast hosts. I mean, honestly. I don't even think most of her went to journalism school.

No, you're right. They didn't. Like, they're a bunch of hacks. And it was an almost killing, by the way. So apparently no crime was committed, but she'll explain how her romantic hangout nearly turned into a crime scene. Whoa. And why her neighbor is now blaming her for it. Whoa.

It's all coming up in your brand new awkward Tuesday phone call. Next. It's awkward. It's Tuesday. It's awkward Tuesday. Brooke, how old is your neighbor? The one whose property you're trying to steal and turning to condos? How old is he?

I don't know. He's in his mid to late 70s would be my guess, but I don't know. Well, I'm just wondering if he was single. Yes. Would you want to get with that? He has seen a lot of the world. I'll tell you that. He's a mystery man.

He's a mystery man. So that's an absolute slam dunk. Yes. Yeah. Well, I only ask because our listener, Stacey, has developed a little crush on her next door neighbor. But apparently there was some type of incident that created drama between them. And now they're not even talking anymore.

Uh-oh. So she's come to us seeking help. Stacey, welcome to the show. Hey, thanks so much. Was it because you hit on the grandpa? Is that what was going on? No, but it is pretty ridiculous. But, okay, okay, well, I feel bad because I liked this guy.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, liked this guy as a friend and a friend. neighbor or like this guy. Well, okay, it was romantic. Like, I was starting to get a sort of like romantic feeling. Dude. That is so risky because if it works cool, but when it doesn't, obviously you're here, you live next to him. Yeah, exactly.

Like, then you're gonna see all the other people he brings home. Like, oh. And you share a wall. You can hear some of the things, you know, sometimes. Well, we're not that close. Like, we don't share a wall or anything, but we live in the same building. Okay. God.

Okay. All right. Still neighbors, got it. Tell us the story. Like, how did these feelings start to develop for you? Yeah, okay. So I would see him coming home from work, and then sometimes we would do riding on the same bus. Okay.

And then one night we're walking from the bus stop to the apartment, and he was, like, having a hard time deciding which lean cuisine to have for his microwave dinner. And I was like, okay, I just made so many meatballs, and I can't eat them all. So I just told him, you know, like, I'll take you a plate. Oh, that's awesome. Like how many meatballs can you fit in your mouth, a big boy? Save it for your next door, Nathan. Yeah. Come on.

Everybody loves to be fed. It's a sign. It is. It is. Was it a plate to go or was it a plate for here? Well, I didn't want him to think it was a date because I didn't want to come on too strong. We can eat these on the stairs, like, outside of our building. So, oh.

On the stairs? Okay. Honestly, it turned out good. Like, it was fun having dinner on our little paper plates. there. Sure. And I sort of got to know him more. And then he asked if I wanted to watch a movie over the weekend.

Oh. And we both have pets. And I have a hamster named Oprah. And he has the turtle named JFK. Okay. Oprah, Oprah the hamster and JFK the turtle. Exactly. And we agreed that it would be kind of cute to put them together for a little pet play date

while we watched the movie. Do turtles and the hamsters get along? I don't know. but I feel like there's a Disney movie in here somewhere. Or it could be a discovery, a discovery channel episode. The hamster would cause the problems out of the two of them. It is a good thing, though, because if you want to be spending a lot of time together in the future, you want to make sure your pets get along well.

Well, we were hoping that they would become friends, but I go over and I bring some wine, and before we even put on the movie, we introduced our pets to each other and kind of put them in this tall box. so they couldn't get out and they seemed good at first and then when we come back we see JFK is flipped on his back and Oprah is on top of him

and she's got her paws out and it looks like she's grabbing his neck. Oh my God the hamster strangling the turtle well it looks like she's strangling him but I don't think she was the idea of a hamster

yeah right I mean she's just hamster. So we separated them, but he blamed Oprah immediately. And I was like, we don't know what happened. Like, you can't just accuse her. Oh, you're getting defensive over. Well, she's my hamster. She's my girl. So we exchanged words. And eventually he asks me to leave. Whoa. Whoa. That went south real quick. Yeah. So now it's super awkward because he won't even speak to me. But I just think it's crazy because all of this happened, but it seems like it's a misunderstanding between like a hamster and a turtle. You say you exchange words.

How personal did you get? Well, I was just trying to keep a level head and just say like, oh, you know, neither of us saw it. Like, she's just a hamster. But he was like getting really defensive of the turtle and being like, what kind of hamster did you bring to my house? Oh, what kind of hamster did you bring to my house? But all the animals are okay, right? Yeah, that's the thing. Everyone's okay.

I mean, physically okay, but emotionally, who knows? You don't know. Maybe JFK liked it. I mean, the turtle we have on our show is pretty Randy. Yeah, but not everybody can be like Humper is. He's a free spirit. So you reached out to us seeking advice. What are you looking to do today?

Well, I just want him to start talking to me again, at least speaking to me and acknowledging me because I feel like we didn't really get to fully explore what our relationship could be because of this whole kerfuffle, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. So the turtle's name is JFK. What's the guy's name? His name's Bowden. Bowden. Bowden. Okay. He should be chill with a name like Brayden. Brooke is in a mood right? I don't know what you're in a weird headspace ever. Yeah. I'm about turtles and hamsters.

Start with the neighbors. That's what I got to say. She's still thinking about that 70 year. Yeah. I got to say I think it's both of your all's fault. No. Nobody should put a hamster and a turtle together. Like, that's just bad pet parenting. Let's not parent shame. Well, I mean, put the hamster in a ball next time. We're looking to give her advice, not judgment.

So, let, remember, we're trying to help her. We're going to come back and give you our two cents on how we think you can mend the relationship between you and your neighbor, Bowden, after your two pets got into a life and death situation. Oh, that's dramatic. Gosh, Jeff. Well, at least in his eyes. We'll see what happened for real when we come back and do your awkward Tuesday phone call. Thank you.

Right after this. It's awkward. It's Tuesday. It's awkward Tuesday phone call. They say time heals all wounds, but what if a hamster attacks your turtle and puts it into a chokehold? I don't know if there's ever any coming back from that. I don't know. What wound happened to the turtle?

I mean, I'm not even using it as an analogy either. That's the actual situation that we're. One of our listeners is in. Our listener, Stacey, lives in the same apartment complex as a very cute guy named Bowden. And he actually invited her over to watch a movie. And when they weren't looking, JFK was ambushed by Oprah. Hey, listen, listen, we don't know what JFK said before Oprah was an attack, okay? She's not going to like you accusing the hamster of the...

Exactly. It's true. We don't know what caused it. But at the end of the day, Oprah's little hamster hands were on. JFK's turtleneck. And Stacey needs our advice now on how to get this guy Boden to talk to her again because things have been rocky ever since. So Brooke, what do you have for her?

Well, I actually think something Alexis said would be perfect. Wait, repeat it again. No, here's the thing. First, you need to tell him that you're sorry for what happened because you are. And it doesn't sound like you maybe had a chance to apologize the first time, right? I mean, I've said, sorry, a ton over text, but he just hasn't answered any of them. Well, maybe because he's reading your text with sarcasm in the voice. It's hard to read via text.

Sorry. He's reading exclamation. Okay, but listen, you start with the apology, and then you say, and listen, I got a hamster ball like Alexis had recommended. So next time our pets hang out, they can be safe. Okay, that's good. Or she can use the ball as a weapon and roll it right over the turtle, crush his little skull. Listen, the turtle's got a shell for a reason. It should be able to handle a ball.

If his head pokes out of that shell, all bets are off. That's the turtles' fault at that point. The turtle deserved it. Okay. Well, there's one piece of advice. Jose, what do you think? Well, you told us that Bowden got defensive. So it's important that you keep calm during this conversation.

So take long, deep breaths from your diaphragm. Let's practice. What are you doing through their mouth? Whoa. You might need to go to the doctor. You shouldn't be able to hear your breathing like that. Well, I do need to go to the doctor. Anyway, also, talk slower.

Focus on being calm. Okay. If things get too tense, maybe take a beat, breathe. Don't give in if things start getting heated between the two. Jose's got a point with the speed. I mean, the man owns a turtle. He doesn't like anything too quick. Fair.

It's a good point. True. Okay. I don't know if any of this actually helped you, but that is our best advice. So we're going to call Bowden. We'll step away. and let you make your awkward Tuesday phone call. You feel ready?

Yeah, thank you for the advice. I feel ready. Okay, let's go. We'll be here for you no matter what. And I'm going to dial the number right now. Here we go. Hey, Bowden. It's Stacy.

Oh. Hi. Hi. How have you been? I'm fine. Why are you calling? Okay. You know, like I said in my text, I just wanted to say, again, that I am really sorry about what happened the other night.

Yeah, that was unfortunate. Yeah, I don't know why it happened, but I'm just sort of getting the feeling that you're kind of taking it out on me, and I don't know that I think that's fair. Oh, yeah, I mean, it's okay, so it's not fair to blame the mother of the person whose child tried to assassinate JFK. Okay, okay, come on. That's a little, okay, that's a little dramatic because for all we know, she was trying to, like, hug him. Hug him, yeah, okay. I'm sure that's what they said about Jack the Ripper and his first four victims. Oh, my God.

Okay. Listen, I'm sorry about that. But look, our pets don't have to be best friends or anything, but I don't want it to ruin what we have or what we could have. Basically, I would say our pets are like our kids. And obviously, we both love them very much. But one parent has done a poor job of teaching their kid how to behave. What?

Sorry, what's that supposed to mean? I knew immediately when we put them in the box. Oprah has zero manners. She's running around eating all of JFK's food. Sorry, what? They're animals. Okay? We may love them like kids, but they're still animals.

I mean, Oprah's an animal. That is for sure. A wild animal. In my opinion, she is not meant to be domesticated. Oh, my God. This is ridiculous. Oh, I'm serious. Like, what happens if things keep going well between us, down the road someday, you move in.

We wake up one morning and that the unthinkable happened. And you're yelling, oh, my God, Oprah killed JFK. Wow. I mean, if you just turned in in the middle of that. Yeah. Throwing Oprah and JFK around. But, hey, I think he hears us. Bowdoin you there?

Oh, my God. What? Now what's going on? We're here to cover the breaking news. Yeah. Oprah just did JFK in. We're a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, and this is a segment we do. It's called the Awkward Tuesday phone call.

Oh, wow. Okay. All right. Okay. So what? The first year, your pet ambushes my pet, and now you're ambushing me on the radio. No. I do know what to do.

I wanted advice I liked you, and this just seems so ridiculous. Like, I'm not trying to ambush you. I just want to say, talk when you, like, weren't talking to me. Yeah, but this segment is meant to, like, mend the bridge between you and Stacey because she feels terrible about what happened between your two pets.

Obviously, that was not what she wanted or anything. She just doesn't want it to ruin the friendship that you two have built. Well, I mean, an attempted homicide is going to... Oh, okay. You are so dramatic. One, having a turtle is not like having a kid, okay?

It's just not. This is my kid, and there's similarities. And you probably have a tortoise if we're going to get real clear on this one. Wow. But I don't know what that means. Well, that was supposed to be an insult like that? I think I'm not sure. I mean, what do you expect?

Like, you're talking to her like she should train her hamster to be polite. I don't think that's even a thing. She's the one that had the idea of putting them together in a box. And that's irresponsible right there. Then why didn't you say no? You're the one that put your turtle there? Well, I assume. that she knew how her animal would behave.

My turtle wasn't the problem. It was her killer hamster. My God. Stacey, just talk to Bowden, and the two of you need to work this out together. Yeah. I mean, Bowden, listen, I, like I said, I'm so sorry,

and I am only calling and, like, trying to make it work because I actually had a really nice time with you, and I feel like if we can move past this, and, you know, I got a hamster ball, okay? I got a hamster ball for Oprah. Hey. So she'll be safer. But I would like to see you again.

And I don't know if you feel the same way. That's sweet. You know, listen, I appreciate you saying all of that. But I'll be honest. I'm just not sure at this point. What are you not sure about? I don't know. I mean, everything just happened so recently.

So I'm still just a little on edge. Okay. That's understandable. That's a good point, Bowden. And if it only happened a few days ago, it's still probably fresh in your mind and the emotions are running high on your side and that's warranted. I mean, your pet was

mercilessly attacked. What we'll say. In his mind, in his mind, that's how it went. And look, I feel like the right thing to do is just give it like another week or so, let the emotions process and then

circle back to this non-emotionally and maybe see how you feel about Stacey. How does that sound? Yeah, okay. Well, I mean, I'll consider that. And it's funny because JFK actually does have a play date this weekend with a gecko. And I've been a little bit of a day. What's the echo's name?

I don't know. I feel like you should stop putting two animals together. JFK keeps getting himself into big trouble. Yeah. Two weeks he's playing with a cobra. Yeah. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Hey, I'm Ruby Carr, the host of the podcast, Encore.

Check out our brand new episodes featuring music from the show that every. Everyone is reheating as we speak. Heated rivalry. Join me as I go behind the songs that brought Shane and Elya together. I'll tell you the stories of Fice, My Moon, My Man, Wolf forades, I'll believe in anything, and tattoos all the things she said, and how they all became a part of this global phenomenon. Stream encore on IHeart Radio, Crave, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers.

Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports. a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports. Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii. My first thought is like what's up with the snacks?

Like, what are we eating? The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments to take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka showing out She beat Sabalinka Shout out to you Naomi

You get the palm Naomi You get the palm for that Because we're not just interested in what happened We're interested in why everyone's talking about it Because everyone watches women's sports Listen to everyone watches women's sports

On the IHeart Radio app Apple Podcast Or wherever you get your podcast Brooke I didn't want to call you out But someone telling their pet That it's not the same as having a child It's kind of a low blow

Well I mean Okay, listen, I have a pet owner. All you have to say is sorry. I'm sorry for saying it. No, I'm not going to apologize because they're different. It's just the reality of the situation. They're just different. I'm surprised he isn't coming down to the station to file a formal complaint against you right now.

This guy needed one more week to get over his turtle being flipped on its back. I mean, come on. No, I understand your. Topping up a little bit. I get your point, Brooke. But at the same time, if my dog bagel ever got choked out by a hamster, I'm hiring John Wick. That's just embarrassing. I feel like you should hire a trainer for your dog to take on a hamster.

That is pathetic. Nobody hurts my fur baby and gets away with it. Okay. All I'm saying is we don't know how people's pets affect their personal lives and we shouldn't be judging them for it. Yeah. Yeah, that's not going to stop me. Okay. Well, yeah, if you ever need help with your personal life and want to be judged harshly for it,

email the show and we'll give you advice that doesn't help. You wouldn't believe how much I didn't say in that segment. I'm so proud of you. What's up, fam, it's sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the hosts of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together. We're breaking down the biggest headlines, the viral moments,

and the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports. From game-changing performances to culture-shifting conversations, we'll give you our takes, our debates, and a few laughs along the way. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to Everyone Watches Women's Sports. On the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. My first guest is

Karen Tolton, Shakira, Luke and Yerrin. Have surprises? Many surprises. Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group check comes to life. What? You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst.

It's lemonade. This is Sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. On Raiders of the Lost podcast, we explore cinema like no one else, including huge interviews with stars like Ryan Gosling on Project Hail Mary. It was like the Jaws Shark.

Didn't always work, came with its own problems. That's what made it great. The cast of obsession. On set, there was so much magic happening with each scene we were putting together. Deep dives into classics like 2001 of Space Odyssey or Fight Club, plus weekly episodes on all industry news. Listen to Raiders of the Lost podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And for more, follow at Raiders of the Lost podcast and at TikTok podcast network on TikTok. Here at the Happiness Lab, we're serving up some hot takes for the summer.

Big ideas that just might reshape how you think about your well-being. Like the radical notion that we should get rid of small talk completely. We talk about current events. We talk about what you do for a living. But not do you love what you do for a living. Is this your dream job? For more surprising ideas backed by psychological science, check out our new series, Happiness Hot Takes.

Listen to the Happiness Lab with me, Dr. Laurie Santos, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our icon.

iconic characters and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that.

Listen to Podlandia. A.O. Rewatch, starting July 16th on the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.