Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: A Picture Says It All

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

One of our listeners says it was a HUGE PLUS that his date listened to our show! That should have been his first red flag, now he wants our help in a brand new Second Date podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update. They say where there's a will, there's a way. Oh, that is a good saying. There's a guy named Will on the phone right now, so I'm hoping there's a way we can help

him with a second date update. That is the most literal translation of that quote ever. Or his date's name was Way. If there's a will, then there's a way. Oh,'s name was way was that the laziest intro i've ever done i don't care so you have given up yeah may have been your best yeah seriously but brooke promises to care enough for everybody here so will welcome to the show hello thanks, thanks for having me. I've lost interest again. He's on the phone and he needs us. Yeah, okay, no, I'm here.

But Brooke, you can run it. Go ahead. Okay, well, what's going on? Who'd you go out with? Smooth. Why? I never said I was smooth. Everybody knows that part of me.

Hey, well, tell us about the girl that you went on a date with. What's her name? What I just said. I said it better. Marley. Marley? Marley. We met on a date with. What's her name? What I just said. I said it better. Marley. Marley? Marley. We met on a dating app.

We matched. Okay. I love that name. What did you like about her? Well, you know, I liked what I saw. Nice. Pretty. You can just say she's pretty.

Well, it's nice that he liked what he saw and not what he smelled. Just when you put it that way, it sounds like you're a car law. I know. I like what I see in this law. I wanted to take it for a test drive. You're not that type of guy. Come on. He's kidding.

No, really, what did you like about her? No, I find collarbones very attractive. And in one of her photos, she had a low-cut dress and was really doing it for me. Are you sure they're real and not implant collarbones? You know what? I've never heard of implant collarbones, but no, these look real. Well, it is a trend. Brooke has been looking into getting one for herself.

Sounds like the job she got was good, though. He can't notice. Yeah. All right, so she's got a good collarbone on her. Very aerodynamic. I don't know what you look for. I know. It's kind of bird-like.

Anything else? You know, I don't really have a type, but lately I've been attracted to redheads, and she's a redhead. Redheads have the nicest hair. Yeah. Totally. But they also can't go out in the sun for fear of burning, for fetal legend or something. It wasn't a beach date, I'll tell you that much. A redhead with a nice collarbone.

So I'm picturing like Lindsay Lohan, Carol Burnett type here. Now that we know kind of what she looks like, tell us about what you and Marley did. So I decided to go to a sporting event. Okay, was that something you guys had in common? Like, was that a common interest? Yeah, I mean, she's pretty outdoorsy and sporty, so we talked about it, and I said, let's go watch some football, and at the very least,

we'll buy some overpriced food and some overpriced beer. You actually took her to a game game, not just, like, a sports bar. Well, I tried to take her to a game game, but... What do you mean? What does that mean? We didn't end up going. I triple confirmed with her because we got good seats, not the

nosebleeds. That's dropping some money on a first date. Yeah, you know, go home. But I was like, I'm going to make sure she's definitely coming. And she said, I'm definitely coming. I was like, great. And then about 30 minutes before we're supposed to meet up, I get a text from her saying, hey, sorry, I don. And I was like, great. And then about 30 minutes before we're supposed to meet up,

I get a text from her saying, hey, sorry, I don't think I can go. No. No. Oh, no. What? And only 30 minutes to find a replacement? Dude, I'm sorry. I'd be mad. Yeah.

Me too, bro. Did she give a reason why? No. I followed up. I said, what do you mean you can't? Like, is everything okay? She couldn't even lie that a grandmother died or something? Seriously.

And like pity offer to pay for your ticket. Yeah, that's a good thing. I didn't even think of that. Alexis wouldn't actually pay for the ticket. I mean, I wouldn't send you the money, but I'd offer. Right. Did she do that? Did she offer to pay for the ticket?

She didn't text me back. I ended up just sitting at the game by myself. No. So rude. You shouldn't call this chick back. She doesn't deserve your time. How good is that collarbone? God.

And seriously, why do you want to talk to her? I mean, I want to know why she didn't go. Is that why? You just want to figure it out? I mean, I want to know, but maybe there was something crazy that happened and she didn't feel comfortable telling because sometimes, you know, it's like you wait too long and then it's like, how do I even explain this? She's like, this is embarrassing.

I'm a season ticket holder. She's a season ticket holder. Sorry, I better see. She doesn't like the team. I don't know. Oh, I didn't think of that. Well, I mean, Alexis, would you say no if you hated the team? No.

I'm a bandwagon fan. I'm a bandwagon fan. I'll put on any jersey and cheer for anyone. I mean, it's free drinks, free food, basically. I have no loyalty. Did she apologize? She has not replied. I've texted her, I think, four times since then,

one of which being like, hey, maybe football wasn't it? Do you want to try something else? Oh, wow. She's ghosting you on purpose, bro. Wow. Yeah, well, funny story one of our commonalities is that we bonded over both liking your show like we oftentimes listen to brooke and jeffrey so i was like oh this is funny oh yes maybe it's a good thing that she's not

calling you back then okay she's definitely not a good sign when we call her she's gonna know she's gonna know how this works. She's going to know that you're on the phone. Unless we disguise our voices. I can do many impressions. Who else can? We did a British accent one time, and I think it went off swimmingly. What if we're Australian tonight?

Brooke Crikey. Brooke's not into it. It's really up to Will. I mean, I would love to hear your impressions. No. I don't know if you really would. He is a true fan. Yeah.

He's lost all his brain cells. You just want us to look like idiots. Actually, if I think about it, she might be more willing to talk to us if she's a fan and knows who we are. Maybe she'll get to the bottom of it. That's true. Or she won't pick up. I mean, we've recorded a bunch of people hanging up on us, but we haven't aired those ones

recently. We can do a compilation of hang-ups if it doesn't work out. We only air those when people stop answering. Whatever happens, it's going to be some high-quality radio when we come back and call Marley to do your Second Date Update right after this. If you're just joining us for the Second Date Update,

we've got Will on the phone who was supposed to go out with a girl named Marley. And I know what you're just joining us for the second date update, we've got Will on the phone, who was supposed to go out with a girl named Marley. And I know what you're thinking, Brooke. Why am I playing this music instead of the theme song to the movie Marley and Me? Because that's about a dog, and it's the saddest movie ever. I thought about it. True, the end is pretty depressing,

and we're hoping for a happier outcome here today. So you're going to go, I'll be missing you, Puff Daddy. It's still like she didn't show up to the date. So you got to have a little bit of truth sadness in there. This song has a lot of dead themes to it, too. Well, I bring it up because Jose's dad has a theory of what happened. Oh, yeah, she's probably dead. So that's one theory out there that would explain a lot.

But, Brooke, what are your thoughts? That's such a sad joke. My dad would be like, I looked up the highway, and it's one of the deadliest highways in America. Most likely she could be in there. Okay, I'm hoping she's very well and alive. We're just throwing possibilities out there. That's all we're looking for now. That's the only hope that we want.

That's all up from here. Thanks, Dad. Okay. So, look, now we're on an upswing here before we dial Marley. Is there anything else that you want to say before we call her, Will? No, I just want answers. I want to know what's happening, why she's not getting back to me. Yeah.

You are way more chill than I would be. If I would have purchased a football ticket for somebody and then that person didn't show up, there would be no chill in me. I mean, imagine even if it's your friend. Yeah, no. Not a date, like your friend backed out there. Yeah, that stadium would be in flames

by the time Brooke left. That's right. Brooke and Jeff would be on fire. Glad you know me now. We'll see if we can get that money back for you here when we call her. Or at least get her agreed to another date. I don't know. Maybe that glad you know me now. We'll see if we can get that money back for you here when we call her. Or at least get her agreed to another date. I don't know.

Maybe that was a little bit ambitious. I shouldn't have said that. You're not getting her money back. No, Brooke will pay you though. So here we go. I'm dialing Marley right now. And remember she apparently is a fan of the show. So she should know who we are when we call. Let's see. Dialing it right now.

Hello? Hey, Marley? Yeah, who's calling? Hey, Marley. We're Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. She's alive. Hey, Marley. Oh, my gosh. Wait, for real? Yeah. Yeah, we're all here. Welcome the morning oh my gosh wait for real yeah we're all here welcome to the show Marley how you doing I love you guys why are you did I win something like what's going

on absolutely not yeah no that's something in the, but something we still are doing on the show is a second date update. What? Oh, no. No way. Your moment to shine, Marley. Yeah, you know what that means. You went on a date recently and somebody liked, well, I guess you did go on a date recently. You missed the date, Marley.

Is this really happening? I'm on the radio with you guys about this? Oh, man. Marley. Well, it's our specialty. Dude, the guy had a football ticket for you. Yeah, we heard the whole story from Will, and so obviously he's disappointed that you no-showed to the game.

Well, you gave him a 30-minute heads up. You texted him 30 minutes, he said, before the game. So do you have any explanation? Yeah. I mean, jeez, I don't know. Like, okay, what do I say here? Say the truth. I don't know.

I guess at the end of the day, I just don't like going out with liars. What? Wait, he's a liar. Why are you saying he's a liar? Well, I was excited to spend time with him. Like, it seemed like we really vibed on the app, and I was getting ready for the date. It was while I was getting ready,

I started doing this thing lately that's been really helpful. Actually, I got this idea from listening to your show, which is... Oh, no. This can't be good. been really helpful and actually i got this idea from listening to your show which is oh no this can't be good what did we tell you you know sometimes people will repeat what we say and i'm like do we we'd said that yeah how would we tell people what advice did you take from us i think this is a really good idea you guys suggested using ai to help out with dating. And it's like this thing where you put a guy's photo into chat GPT and it calculates their height. Oh, we did talk about that.

We talked about that, how that was a trend. You could figure out how tall guys were because the photo would analyze like what's in the background and where they're. Oh, that's right. Right. So you did that? Yeah. So he put in his profile that he's six foot. Right. Right. So you did that? Yeah. So he put in his profile that he's six foot.

Okay. But Chad GPT said that he's probably 5'7". Oh. He's a short king. I thought it was either just under. Yeah. He's a short king. Thanks for using the proper terminology, Brooke.

There's nothing wrong with 5'7". 5'7 is respectable. No, but she's upset he's lying. Lying? Yeah, exactly. Like, I's upset he's lying yeah exactly like i'm sure he's listening right now but maybe don't tell her don't tell is it because you won't date anyone under six foot because i know a lot of women have that rule and it's dumb it's a dumb rule you're missing out on short guys no i'm not super official like that like i'm five seven so

we would be the same height and i'm not like against that but the thing is like if he was truthful i definitely would have gone on the date maybe if you're on your knees looking up at him he's six foot tall at least it looks that way that's not a bro i've been there i've been there all i'm saying in the height difference it really appears i think you said it innocently, but don't say that again. Okay, if you're sitting down. Sure, that's better. That's what I meant, okay?

You guys are turning me into a pervert over here. Your words are working against you. Anyway, sorry, she was talking. So it's the lie, potentially. Yeah, I mean, like I said, I'm 5'7", and I say I'm 5'7", on my profile. Like, why do guys lie okay well the only way that we can know that is by asking will and like you said he is on the other line you know he's there listening to this it's not a surprise so awkward yeah oh she's doing the

awkward sound effect for us wrong segment okay but will it's time to jump in and say hi to Marley. Yep. Are we sure? Okay, wait. What's going on, Will? Marley is telling us that she AI fact-checked your picture and that I know the suggestion came from our show, so I'm sorry if we're busting you on this. But we took it from somewhere else probably, so it's not, you know.

Can you just tell us, are you five foot seven like chat gpt says or are you six foot like you claim in your profile we're assuming well i'll tell you what chat gpt is completely off and i am taller than marley so they're taller really you didn't yeah but yeah are you six foot or is that an exaggeration um Um, I'm actually five, eight. Okay. Well, chat GPT was more honest than your profile.

Oh, man. Come on to his defense. Marley, if he would have said he was five, eight, would he showed up in your algorithm? I don't have an,

a height limit on my filters or anything like that. Okay, but what way would you have swiped if you saw 5'8"? I don't know. I mean, he's cute. He's cute enough that I would have looked into it. If I just saw the numbers and I wasn't interested, then I would have swiped because of the numbers.

But I was drawn in by other parts of his profile for sure. Okay. Yeah. And then our personality clicked. And then because I said that I was six foot, my foot got in the door quite literally. That's a bad pun or whatever it is. It worked. But you have to understand that I've had like issues with men lying in the past and that's just like an instant deal breaker for me.

And even now you're kind of like defending being dishonest. I feel like at some point before we met up, you should have, you know, made sure I knew what I was really looking for. I didn't want to look right over your head. Do you feel bad at all, though, that homie watched a whole game by himself, wasted hundreds of dollars, and still wants to go out with you? Do you feel bad? He seems sincere in his apology. And the good news is we've hashed all this out now.

So maybe that allows us to close the door on this kind of ugly chapter of the relationship and open the door to the next positive one. Unless there's something else you've lied about? Want to get it out and open? Yeah, are you a full cat Unless there's something else you've lied about. We'll get it out. Yeah. Are you a full catfish? Tell us now. She has not seen you in person yet.

My pictures are accurate. They're five, eight accurate. Give them a chance. Marley. One date won't hurt. Make sure they're accurate in person. Bring a tape measure to the date and we will pay for the date and the tape measure to me. I'll send you a photo with

me holding a newspaper from today. Oh my God. Wait, you get a newspaper? How old are you? Oh, wait a minute. I'll be honest, I'm going to be wary and skeptical, but the fact that you have the confidence to address it on air like this and

reach out to me this way is kind of a turn-on, I'll be honest. All right, she's turned on. Oh, my God, our show's a turn-on. Wow. Look at all this positive news. I mean, you don't get your money back, Will, but at least you get another date to spend more money on her. Hooray, I get to spend more money on a date.

No, no, we pay. Yeah, don't we pay? Oh, yeah. Wait, are we buying spend more money on a date. No, no, we pay. Yeah, don't we pay? Oh, yeah. Wait, are we buying tickets? Up to $25. You enjoy, Will. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Before we go any further, we have to say congratulations to the best cell phone reception we've had all week.

Marley and Will. Yay! Congratulations. Your carriers did it! Someone's got a landline. We could actually hear what they were saying during the whole conversation, which you would think wouldn't be such a huge struggle in this day and age, but apparently it is. And they say nothing predicts relationship success like the number of combined reception

bars you two share. Yeah. We recommend all of you guys move towards cell phone towers. That's right. Please. Actually, install one. I'm with you, bro. Cosmo needs to put that dating tip into one of their magazines.

But I do hope they end up going out for real. If he does end up calling back, though, saying he got stood up again for something else AI found, not sure we can help him out of that situation. No, it seems like it was the first and last chance. One strike, that's it. That's it. I mean, if he's being honest about the 5'8". Well, we're going to find out soon.

If he's shorter than 5'8", he's never seen her again. We told them to stay in touch and you should too if you want some help with your dating life. We'll call that person who's not calling you back and go check out all of our Second Day Podcasts wherever you get yours at Brooke and and jeffrey john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines

exclusive extended interviews and more now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.