Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Adult Swim Lessons

Episode Date: January 6, 2022

It's a tale as old as time: Guy meets girl at adult swimming lessons, and they agree to go out on a date. But once the safety and security of water wings are out the window, can Jay keep the date on the rails?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme.

Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season, but you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, Eve,

Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's Second Date Update is brought to you by the letter J. Okay. My name starts with J. J is for jazzy fingers. J is also for jalapeno. Okay. My name starts with J. J is for jazzy fingers. J is also for jalapeno. Oh.

And J is also the name of the guy who wants a second date update today. Oh, right. So congratulations on being the letter of the day, J. Wow. Yeah. Do you also love the number three? Because that is our second sponsor.

Wow. It's such an honor. I know. Tell us about the girl you want us to call today, Jay. I want you to call Elizabeth. Elizabeth, okay. Yeah. It's kind of a funny story how we met, too.

I actually met her while I was at my swim lesson. I take adult swim classes. Okay. Usually when people say it's a funny story, it's not, but that's kind of a funny story. I'm not making fun of you, Jay. I think it's great that you're learning to swim. Thank you. Thank you.

I just, I never learned, you know, I know a lot of people take lessons when they're kids and just one of those things that my folks never hooked me up with. And I'm like, well, what if I'm on a boat someday, you know? I don't know how to swim either. Maybe you should take lessons and meet the love of your life like Elizabeth. There you go. What was Elizabeth's role in the swim lessons? I saw her while I was taking my lesson, and she was there with what looked like a son of hers, a small child.

And she was really cute and really pretty. That's a weird way to say it. It sounded weird. Yeah. All right. What looked to be a small child. Let me get to it. She was really cute, and I started talking to her.

And as she was there with her son, I was just kind of joking around that his crawl stroke was better than mine. And that got a good laugh. It kind of broke the ice a little bit. Yeah, it's funny because it's true. I mean, but that's a risky move, though, because if someone has a son, usually the first assumption is they're also married. And people take rings off to go swimming all the time. Right.

But fortunately, after I made that joke, she clarified that it was actually her nephew. So in my mind, I was like, oh, cool. No kid she's not taken. No ring. I was like, oh, cool. No kid she's not taking. No ring. I was like, I think I'm in the clear here. Yeah, she's dropping a little hint towards you. Exactly. You guys are meeting in your bathing suits already,

so you know what's on the table. I mean, that's a good start to any relationship. I got nothing to hide. And then in that moment, too, I made another joke. I was like, oh, that's really good that I didn't have to lend the kid my water wing. Oh, man, you are coming with the jokes. Oh, no. You got to watch it.

You can't do too many. You're going to joke your way out of a date here. You might need to give me mouth to mouth after this. Oh, God. Okay. When did you ask her out? How'd you do it? You know, we got talking a little more after that, and the conversation went so well, I

stopped self-deprecating my swimming ability so much, and we set a date for a little more after that, and the conversation went so well, I stopped self-deprecating my swimming ability so much, and we set a date for a few days after that. We went to a really nice upscale bar. Dude, that's really cool. I mean, you met someone in real life, and they actually showed up to a date. This doesn't happen often. I know. That is a miracle in and of itself.

The bar is set very low for us, obviously. So how did the date go? It was fantastic. We started talking about everything, our jobs, our families a little bit. You know, I mentioned that I also, I take a karate class too, because that was another one of those classes.

Are you sure you're not an eight-year-old boy? Did you have a gym-boree lesson after this? No, no, no. I just like, there were things I always wanted to do when I was younger that I didn't have a chance to. But now I've got a little more independence. I'm a grown man. I can do whatever I want. OK, I like it. Yeah. Right. But no, honestly, that's sexy, right? Like you're doing something that you have always wanted to do and actually like seeing it through. Pursue it. Yeah, that's a great way to look at it, Brooke. And then after dinner, you know, we took a little walk around the park.

And when we were there, I saw this huge group of pigeons. And it was just a majestic sight. And we both had a couple of... Did you just describe pigeons as majestic? No, it's fine. Absolutely. When you see, like, hundreds of birds, they just look so cool. Like, all huddled up there

along the park, kind of looking for food. But we both had leftovers. So I just was like, trust me here. And I put the food down on the bench and all the pigeons just start swarming over to the bench. Oh, my God. That sounds like my nightmare. I don't like birds.

I mean, I like them from afar, but like being swarmed by birds is like sounds terrible. Did she like that? We like a lot of poop. Did she like that? We were a safe distance away. It's just kind of like a really cool sight to see, you know? Okay. And I actually looked over at her and I couldn't quite tell if she thought it was as cool of a sight as I did. Maybe she was mad that I gave the leftovers away. Give me your food.

So you think the mood switched when the pigeons got fed? I mean, it was good food, so... That's why the pigeons loved it so much, clearly. End of the night, though, we hugged. I gave her a kiss on the cheek, and that was it. You know, I tried to call her the next day for a date.

I didn't hear anything back. I did see her at the pool again, but I didn't get to talk to her because I think she might have saw me and run away really fast with her nephew. So I just don't know what's going on. You know, I other than like that last moment, I thought it was a really good night and I'm really hoping I can get another second date going. You know, I think she labeled you as the weird pigeon guy that she went out with. I mean, I've been called way worse than that, so I hope not. But it's all right with me.

All right. Well, we're going to play a song, come back, and we'll try and get you a second date update. Hopefully it goes better than your swim lessons did. All right, Jay? Awesome. Thank you.

I'm drowning over here. All right. Hold on. Second date update. All right. We're going to try and make the second date update go quick because I know our listener Jay has his nap time, and we don't want him to be cranky before soccer practice.

Oh, man, maybe we should give him some orange slices. You know? I'm just messing around. Jay met a girl named Elizabeth while taking his adult swim lessons because he never got the chance to learn when he was growing up, and he took her out to an upscale bar. Then they walked around a park where they fed their leftovers to a majestic flock of city pigeons. Okay, well, he fed the leftovers to the pigeons.

She just stood in horror. That's true. But he had a great time doing it. He did notice Elizabeth seemed a little unamused by all the pigeon feeding. So he hasn't been able to reach her ever since then. Jay, you ready to do this? I am ready. And thank you so much for helping me out with this. You know, I really, really enjoyed that date with her. And I really hope I didn't mess things up, you know?

Okay. So if it turns out it was the pigeon issue, like you're cool going out with a girl who maybe isn't as fun as you in the bird world. I will take the woman over the pigeon. All right, just double check in. You never know. It's a bold move, Jay. Yeah. All right, well, we're going to give her a call

and attempt to get your second date update, all right? Awesome, let's do it. Here we go. Hello? Hi, can I speak to Elizabeth, please? This is her. May I ask who's calling? Yeah, this is Young Jeffrey from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Okay. Okay. Have you heard of the show before, Elizabeth? I mean, I can't say that I have. Well, you sound pleasant, so I feel like you should start listening. Okay. All right.

Have a great day. Bye-bye. No! Talk to her! Why are you calling? We're doing something called the Second Date Update. Have you ever heard of that? No, I haven't.

Basically, it's a segment that we do where if you've gone out on a date with someone and they're not calling you back, we can give that person a call and try and figure out the reason why. All right. All right. So you recently went out with a guy named Jay and you're not calling him back. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was sweet.

Is that a question? I think. As much as you can give us. I mean, he seemed like a nice guy to us for sure. No, he's very sweet. I just, it was kind of awkward. What, seeing him in the water floaties? He told us that you met during his adult swim class.

You know, we did. I kind of thought it was cute. He took me to this nice bar. It was fun. Why are you ending everything up? Yeah, you can tell by the tone of her voice that it wasn't going well. I guess.

I don't know. What's going to happen? He was very nice. That's always a brutal statement. I mean, because it usually means that you're not attracted to him. But you saw him in his swimsuit he asked you out half naked

and you were cool then, what turned you off? so I go to the bathroom at the bar and he's talking to this woman this older woman and she's kind of tussling his hair and fixing his collar it was kind of weird Iling his hair and like fixing his collar.

It was kind of weird. I like took no, but like, okay, whatever. So I go up to him like after they finish a little conversation, pretend like I don't see anything. And then at one point something happens and he tells me he needs to text his friend. And so he sends like a little text message out into the universe and who gets it. But the woman sitting at the end of the bar,

wait, wait, hold up. So he's texting another girl. Well, not a girl, like a woman, like a woman.

So wait, did you ask? I mean, like that could just be coincidence, right? That this woman got, I mean, maybe not.

Your intuition is probably right. Yeah. Who do you think she is? Well, at first I thought she was just, like, older lady, like, hitting on him. And then after the text message, I looked a little closer. She looked a lot like him. Like, related like him. So you think his mom was on the date?

Yeah, that was his mom. And she was fixing his hair and fixing his collar? Like, I can't be positive that it was her, but they sure did look alike. And they definitely had, like, some sort of connection. Oh, my God. Don't you want to know? I want to know. I'm dying.

Yeah, let's be positive. Jay, was that your mom? What? Jay's on the other line. He's been listening during this whole conversation oh no okay jay okay yeah i'm here hi elizabeth okay hi um okay cool oh. I'm so embarrassed. Oh, geez.

Elizabeth, ask him. Ask him who the woman was. Was that your mom? Yeah. You brought your mom on our date. Look, I can explain, okay? Please do. I did not invite her, okay?

It was not my fault. So I have a good relationship with my mom, you know. Clearly. Very close. Okay. So I asked her for a place to go. She actually recommended the restaurant. And I said, cool.

Thank you so much. Didn't think anything of it. But then she surprised me by showing up at the bar i didn't tell her to do that wow really oh man i don't know man do you believe him elizabeth uh i mean the kid takes karate classes i don't know you're like an adult swim and you take karate your mom's on your date with you what What is going on, Jay? He's like a total mama's boy. He just showed up.

I didn't tell her to go. In fact, when I was texting her, I had already told her to please leave. You're like, mom, don't come until 8 o'clock. Then you can pick me up. This is embarrassing. Oh, Jay. I didn't think you noticed that she was there. I'm so sorry.

Did she stick around through the whole date? Yes, she did. Oh, man. But, okay, wait, listen, though. Elizabeth, to his credit, his mom's actions are not within his control, okay? And he obviously left and went on a walk because he wanted to get away from the woman who was probably following you on a trail somewhere. But, you know, that's also not his fault. She's dressed as one of the pigeons. I mean, I thought the romantic walk would be nice.

But I also, yes, like part of the plan was I figured my mother wouldn't literally go chasing us down on a private walk. I'm so sorry. But if we go on a second date i promise you i am bringing you flowers and i am making sure my mother does not know anything about this plan it'll just be me and you that is not what i wanted for you to experience i'm so sorry about that right um Um, I mean, that was just like a lot. But listen, you got a guy here who is very confident. I mean, admits to adult swim lessons, knows how to have a good relationship with his mom, and is already setting boundaries with her.

So that is a good sign, right? Sure. Yeah, and on the bright side, you and Jay's mom could chat poolside while him and your nephew take the lessons together. It could be a bonding experience for everyone. I love it. You guys get back lunches. You know, I'm not really sure if that's like a positive for me. I promise you, if we go out again, I'm going to pull out all the stops for you. We can do whatever you want. You can even, I have a guest pass.

You can come to my karate class, you know. Oh, fun. Now that's an offer. Look at that. What do you say, Elizabeth? Oh, come on. Why don't you go out with Jay again? We'll pay for another date.

Yeah. We'll pay for the karate class in case the guest pass doesn't work. Hey. I guess, sure. Why not? Really? Awesome! Oh, that's so cute!

That's going to be a yellow belt in no time. Oh, my goodness. Wait, sorry. I don't know. I'm changing my mind. Oh, no! We just saw Elizabeth. Almost a yes.

What do you mean you're changing your mind? I mean, I don't know. I just kind of started thinking about it, and then just the whole karate outfits thing, and that's not really, like, where I want my dates to be going. Cancel the karate. We can do anything else. I promise. Yeah, you guys can do t-ball instead.

You guys aren't helping, okay? I don't know what to say. It'll be an adult thing, you know? Yeah. Elizabeth, do you want to do adult stuff with Jay? We'll pay for it. That sounds really whatever go out with him one more time i'm okay i'm good so that's a no no i'm sorry but like jay

maybe you can tell your mom that she can help you find somebody else i love my mom but i'm not asking her for any help at this time. All right, Jay. Well, I'm sorry we couldn't get you a second date update, but we're going to open up the text board right now. Text in 78592. If there's a lady out there looking for a guy who's really into karate and takes adult swim, we found your unicorn. Jay is here for you.

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See sleepnumber.com for details. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC.

Follow The Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance.

You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.