Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: All Woke No Joke

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

A surprise during a date made one woman get up and leave immediately. Is it the most ridiculous reason to not call someone back ever?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune in to my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration. It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower.

You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. One of the most embarrassing moments of my entire life happened years ago on this show.

Which was? When I had a surprise first date with a girl. Oh yeah. Live in studio on this show. Which was? When I had a surprise first date with a girl. Oh, yeah. Live in studio on the air. I remember this. Oh, I wish I was here. I think I was your server. I was standing behind you and I was observing you guys.

Yeah, that was so good. Details not important. Didn't go great. I'm going to assume super awkward. We need to find that audio. Can we find that audio? We got to pull that. Tell the producers.

We need to burn it and make sure it never sees the light of day ever again. I'm just going to leave it at that. Hey, she liked you. I don't think she did. Who wouldn't? I only bring it up because one of our listeners, Gabe, surprised his date on night one with a fun little activity for her after dinner. Okay. Maybe that didn't go so well.

We'll find out. Gabe, welcome to the show, man. Hey, thanks for having me. At least she knew she was going to be on a date, unlike Jeffrey, right? Yeah, she knew she was going to be on a date, but she didn't know about the activity afterwards, and that was a surprise. Okay. That was a pure surprise.

Well, we'll get to the surprise in just a second, but first tell us about this lady that we're going to be calling. What's she about? Well, her name's Megan. She's awesome. We met online. Okay. Okay. She's about awesome what what makes her awesome gabe well obviously you need you know there's a physical attraction but there's like five things i look for in a woman and you know there's physical attraction there's humor god you are so picky five whole things

in a woman yeah i'm like she's breathing, you haven't listened to his complete list yet, okay? I'm just saying. That may be on there. Maybe I should add breathing for the sixth. There you go. Okay. Okay, so you got physical attraction, funny. Physical attraction, humor, intelligence, integrity, and the intangibles, you know,

like what your hobbies are, things like that, that you like to do together. You're going to die alone. That's okay. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Tell us, what did you end up doing for your date with Megan? Well, normally I don't go for a full dinner because I don't want to spend that much time with someone until I get to know them. Okay.

Talking and texting, you know, we really hit it off because she's really funny. She's got a great wit about her and she was intelligent. Okay. I think it's hard to be funny if you're not intelligent. Yeah, exactly. I totally make a difference. I'm literally a professional comedian and I'm an idiot, bro. I'll give you more credit than that.

Okay, well, I'm not smart. You've got to be at least a C plus student. Is that what you consider intelligent? Sorry. Sure. I've derailed things. I apologize. it sounds like megan is at least checking a couple of your boxes at this point right gabe right exactly okay good

so you went for the dinner yeah i pried open the wallet i figured i'd take her out you know she's worth it so we went for a nice italian dinner and then um i told her afterwards i said listen i got a surprise for you okay and what was her reaction just to that? She seemed excited about it. She was like, ooh, a surprise. I don't know if that was ooh, a surprise, because I don't know her very well. Like, ooh, a surprise. Like, what the hell is this? Or ooh, a surprise.

What the hell is this? Yeah, because a surprise could literally mean anything. It could be a fun, happy surprise, a scary surprise. And there's two types of people in the world. There are people who love surprises and people who absolutely hate them. No, it's hard, because I think I hate surprises, but I like surprises if I know it's going to happen. See, that doesn't sound right. That's not a surprise.

They're like, I have a surprise later, then I know, okay, it's going to be a mystery. But if you just tell me, boom, surprise, you ready? I'll be like, no, no, I'm not ready for this. I'm scared. Yeah, I'm scared. Okay, so I've been dying to know, what is the surprise that you had waiting for her? So I took her to a comedy club, and she seemed like, oh, this is fun. Yeah.

Okay. That's fun. So your surprise was tickets to see a show? Well, not really. The surprise was that I'm a performer, and I was headlining and going to do a set. Oh. Bro. That's awesome.

Really? The guy is seeming so high. Dude, I mean, most girls bang to come to your comedy show. So I'm surprised you had to keep it a surprise. No. I'm going to go with no. Not a good surprise. Why not, Brooke?

Really? I thought it would be all right. It's like if you play your own music while you're in the car. It's like you singing. Here's the thing. What if she doesn't think you're funny? Well, I am a headliner. That doesn't matter.

That's not how it works. It doesn't matter. I have seen plenty of headliners That doesn't matter. That's not how it works. It doesn't matter. I have seen plenty of headliners that aren't funny. He's just checking the boxes. He's making sure that they're on the same level when it comes to sense of humor. I'm just saying risky. Yeah. Okay.

Very risky. That's a fair statement. It is a risk. How did it go? I mean, we were hitting it off, so I figured, you know. So I'm doing my show, and then I'm like, nice set, killer set. Nice. And I know it's a good set because when I came off,

people were like, Oh, can I get a picture? You know, everyone pictures and stuff like that. I was like, sure. And I'm going to look for it.

I'm looking for it. As people taking pictures, like, Oh, she must be in the ladies room or something or whatever. Yeah. I can't find her, you know?

And then I'm like, where'd you go? Oh, she left. Yeah. Yeah. She sat alone for an entire show. I believe.

You walked your own date. That is bad, bro. I don't know. I'm still not getting what the big deal is. It's your own date? That is bad, bro. I don't know. I'm still not getting what the big deal is. It's like, oh, this is what I do. So if you're not, you know. Yeah, but man, like, I'm not bringing a date to work either.

You know, like. Yeah, you're hawking dates onto me. Why? It's just, it's just, it's a lot. And comedy sometimes is more fun when you experience it with other people like if you're sitting by yourself it really has to be funny did you text her once you found out that she left yeah of course i texted her afterwards i texted her and i said hey i didn't see at the end they said you had left did you have fun okay and she texted back she's like real generic it's like yeah what the

glowing review but is there anything in your mind that you think maybe could have been the big red flag that besides the comedy show okay outside of that i don't think i would call back what else do you want i'm wondering what's in his mind what does he think went wrong i can't think of a thing because we were laughing at dinner. You know, it was nice and she said, wow, you know, and she even said herself, she's like, normally I don't go to dinner on a first date until I get to

know somebody, but I have something special about you. Okay, well, sorry to interrupt, but the producer is giving me the red light, which means we have to get going. I'm going to wrap this up and I'm going to play a song. We'll come back. We're going to call Megan for you and try and get you a second date update, okay? Okay, thanks. Second date update.

All right, halfway through the second date update. Is everybody having a good time tonight? Yeah, I'd like another drink, please. I'd like a drink. Oh, okay. Will someone wake up the guy in the back so that he can tip his waitress? Oh, man. She's already complained about my tip.

Oh, hey. Can I leave? That's not time for the night. All he can trip his waitress. Oh, man. Yikes. She's already complained about my tip. Oh, hey! Can I leave now? That's not time for the night. Thank you, everybody. Hey, this guy's good. This guy's really good, guys. Oh, my God. I just got so uncomfortable. Do you need somebody to open for you, Gabe? No, I think we got that covered, but you know what? If it's you guys, then yes.

Okay. You're too kind, Gabe. So Gabe recently took a woman out for a dinner date and then surprised her afterwards by bringing her to a live comedy show where, surprise, he was the headliner. I still think that's cool, bud. But she left before he even got off stage. That's not cool.

It may have been an emergency situation. We don't know. She texted him back, yeah, thanks. It may have been an emergency situation. We don't know. She texted him back. Yeah, thanks. She may have been busy in the hospital. Yeah, okay. It's the thing. I mean, you know, as a performer, you're always on the road,

so it's kind of tough to meet someone. And this one she really liked. I wouldn't be on here with you guys if it wasn't... Was important to you? Yeah, it was important to me. You ruined his joke, bro. Oh, there was a joke?

Yeah, stop heckling the person that's calling for help. I don't get your jokes, Gabe, but I'm sure there's a lot of people that do. No, I feel you, bro. Here's my one question. Did she know you were a stand-up comedian before you guys went out? Well, I just told her I was an entertainer

and that was it. Maybe she thought I was a musician i don't know okay okay he's humble and i like that about you gabe he brought a date to his headlighting show that's not humble jeffrey humble comes in all different forms she had to find out eventually so why not this way yeah i can't all right so let's stop speculating we're just going to call call Megan and find out for real why she isn't calling you back. You ready to do this? Yeah. All right. Here we go.

Hello. Hey, is this Megan? Yeah, this is her. Who's this? Hey, Megan, my name's Jeff from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. All my co-hosts are here with me, Jose, Brooke, Alexis. Oh, okay. Why are you guys calling me?

Good morning. Good morning. And, yeah, we do a segment on our show called Second Date Update where we help our listeners who are having a little bit of trouble reaching somebody after they went on a date with them. Okay. Okay. And so one of our listeners is trying to get a hold of you. His name's Gabe. Oh.

No. Yeah. I mean, we kind of got the sense that you were interested since, you know. So you guys talked to him? Like, what did he say? We heard from Gabe and he told us a little bit about dinner and the comedy show Surprise afterwards. What were your thoughts on that? How did you feel?

Well, dinner was good. Like, he's funny, charming. He was a total gentleman. Okay. Okay. That's good. Funny, charming gentleman yeah those are very positive things to say about god i just want to know what your reaction was like on the

inside when he surprised you with his own comedy show well when i got to the show i was i was pretty excited you know oh okay so you thought the surprise was cool? Yeah. Because I didn't know, like we, you know, we're speculating like maybe that is a little braggadocious or egotistical. Or very, very cool. I mean, I just worried. Yeah, the show itself, it wasn't really a problem. But when he got up there to do his bit, it was really offensive. Gabe's set was offensive? Yeah, it was.

Is he like one of those shock comedians? Like a dark humor comic? Well, no, he didn't really use any bad language or anything. Okay. What was offensive about it? So, you know, it's not okay to do accents. Okay. And he was doing a British accent.

A British accent? I think that's okay. Those are hot. Why did the British accent offend you? Well, if I was British, I would be offended. He didn't even ask the audience if anyone was British and if it would be okay for him. Like, it was just disrespectful. I don't think that's how a lot of comedy shows work.

They don't ask permission to tell a joke. You're there to see the jokes. Was the joke offensive about British people or something? Like, it was just the accent. I personally thought all of it was offensive. He was being really disrespectful to British people. Oh. Okay.

Okay. I don't think that they're... Do you have like British family or something? Even so, it's like... They have a pretty good humor, British people, you know? And it's not a group of people that have been real pushed down through the deck, you know? They're kind of on top right now. Yeah.

And that was the reason that you left? Because of the British jokes? Yeah. You guys might not think it's offensive, but I talked to a friend about it, and she's visited England before, and she told me that that could be offensive. Your friend that one time...

I'm sorry. I'm not trying to laugh but your friend that one time went to England said that that might be offensive she said it could be offensive I mean to have your back surprisingly I'd be the one in the room that wouldn't but I have talked to somebody there was a girl

I used to date who was in England and she did say she hates it when people make fun of British people's teeth. And I didn't realize that was a thing. Well, it's kind of like low-hanging fruit. But hates it and offensive are two different things, right? Bottom line, it's just tough being a comedian these days. Yeah, it really is. I don't know what you're allowed to joke about anymore.

Not a lot, Jeff. Yourself. I would stick to yourself. Unless you're British. Oh, yeah, then you really okay maybe he's british oh actually that's a great question maybe he does have some roots over in england we should actually ask him that megan because i need to let you know coming to the stage gabe is actually on the phone he wants to talk to you oh my god gabe yeah i'm here wait so you you're now you're offended from a british accent because a friend may possibly at one time could have maybe have gone over to england and maybe

speak to some other psychopath to say yeah i may get offended on a british accent i thought it was offensive too you know know, I thought that myself. Okay. All the British people in the audience that were so super offended. Show a hand. How many British people are out there? Oh, none. Okay. He's like, you just ruined my bangers and mash.

Jose, British people listen to this show. I apologize to all our people over in England for Jose. That was horrible. I'm actually right now standing up for all races and all countries. Oh, wow. That's a big stand.

I don't think you should be doing any accents at all. None. The world spokeswoman, Megan, has laid down the law. I didn't realize that you were writing the comedy constitution. I'm sorry. Okay, you guys are going to have to change a lot of bits. Yeah, I do a lot of the law. I didn't realize that you were writing the comedy constitution. I'm sorry. Okay, you guys are going to have to change a lot of bits. Megan, I appreciate what you're trying to do here. I just think you maybe need to do a little

bit more research into why things are offensive and why some things aren't offensive. That's a good point. I declare in the land of comedy that there'll be no accent anymore. That's it. All done. Goodbye. I mean, it's not very good. I get it. It's not funny, guys. Oh, okay. Don't say that. I just think that everyone should be really careful, especially Gabe, because I see him getting canceled because of this.

Oh, boy. Oh, no. It's not going to get- I see myself getting canceled by anybody who sold me out with you. Oh, wow. It's a roast. It's a roast now, guys. Wow.

This is getting a little bit out of hand. Oh, my God. Theoretically, yes. If you never make fun of anybody ever, then you're never going to offend anybody. But I think you should have a balance. It's a pretty shot shot. I think you're good, man, Gabe. You know what I think we need to do right now?

I think we need to calm things down. We need to reach across the pond and make a connection between these two people. Are you proposing a tea party? Yeah, something like that. Don't do it, boys. Oh, my God. On our bill. We will pay for it.

What do you say, Megan? One more date with Gabe. No accents at all. What about a German? Is German okay? Because German's a pretty funny accent. Zero accents at all. Gabe, are you capable of doing that?

I don't think so. No, I cannot do it. I cannot have no accents. No, I'm sorry. Okay, that's a nine. That's a nine. Oh, that was supposed to be German. That was German, I think, from Gabe.

Yeah, sorry. Nine. I didn't know I was supposed to be offended by that one. I don't know anymore. I just don't know what his accents are. You might need to work a little bit on your routine there, bud. On the set. Yeah, and it looks like we're not going to be able to get you another date.

I was going to say no anyway, so. Yeah, I don't want another date. It's not like I want half my money back for the Italian dinner. Is that it? Is that it? He wants to go. He wants to go back. He wants the Italian stuff.

We got to stop this. Let's just move. Okay. Because if Gabe starts an Italian accent on the show, we're all going to get canceled. That's true. Yeah. We got a song. Let's get out of here.

I'm scared. Oh, man. I cannot do a bad accent for nothing. There always got to be a good accent, eh? It's kind of Jersey. No, it's not. He lifted his hand. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

Yeah, Brooke, you said it. That conversation just kept going from bad to worse. And usually, Brooke likes to stick up for the little guys, which in this case is all of England, apparently. That's the problem. British aren't the little guys. In a shocking twist, Brooke was actually in support of making fun of other countries and races. Is that not true? That's true.

You can do an English accent without being offensive. Okay, before you start in on me, Brooke, don't even bring up Brexit, okay? It's too soon. It's going to offend me and most of our British listeners. We already lost Sweden after we did that Ikea joke. I am not losing another one here. I get what she's trying to do, but it's actually backfiring. Because when you do that, it makes the things that are actually offensive.

Well said, bro. Preach. Cancel culture isn't a bad thing. Cancel culture is just saying, hey, don't do that anymore. This is my opinion. This is bad. Okay, so if you make fun of everybody, then no one be offended no is that what you're saying okay i'm still not quite getting it but text into 7592 explain it to me who are we allowed to make fun of who aren't we and yourself just anything yourself or the big guy that's all you can make

be more conscious of what you're kidding about and also be less sensitive about your own? Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Let's meet in the middle somewhere. There you go. As long as it's not a British middle. It's a very complicated thing.

Yeah. It's not, though. Remember, if you ever want to get a second date update, email the show. We can call the person who's not calling you back. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. We're so done with new year, new you. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists,

especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors. It's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now.

Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. your podcasts. my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts.