Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update: Arm Candy

Episode Date: December 24, 2021

The guy on the phone today takes kindness to a whole new level... He even offered to take his date to her EX-husband's wedding. But is it possible to be TOO nice?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.

$1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First. Introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the Quarterback Series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First

CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second date update. The guy on the phone for a second date update today did something that honestly not a lot of men would be willing to do, especially on a first date. His name is Greg, and before we find out what Greg did, or maybe it's who Greg did, I don't know yet.

Hello, Greg. Let's find out a little more info. Greg, you did something. I did do something. Doing something is more than I can say for most of the dates that end up on this show, so tell us, Greg, who'd you do it with? Well, the girl's name is April. I met her

through my friend who works as a barista. He has these regulars that always come in, and he always talks about this girl. And he says she's really cute. She just comes. She doesn't really talk to anybody. And he was like, you know what? Why don't you come in and maybe see if you can strike up a conversation with her? And I was like, that's kind of Why don't you come in and maybe, like, see if you can strike up a conversation with her?

And I was like, that's kind of weird. What? That's so kind of creepy to me. Like, there's these two dudes. Do you really think that that's creepy? I think that, like, if she's there and you just strike up a conversation. It's just like playing, like, Secret Matchmaker or something. I don't know.

There's this loner girl that comes in and cries in the corner while eating cake pops all alone. She's perfect for you, bro. Yes, bro. Bounce on it. I don't know if creep it's just strange it's strange so what did you think when you saw her the first time well first of all when she came in i thought she was gorgeous like he wasn't kidding when he was like oh she's really pretty but again she in, kept her head down basically, and just kind of sat and just started reading a book. And I thought to like, you know, maybe say, oh, that's a really interesting book that you're reading. That's a good line. Yeah. If you'd actually read the book before, you can't say that. So I like go up to her and I was like, oh, is this seat taken? And she goes, please leave me alone. She like snaps. I she's like, I'm in the worst mood of my entire life.

I'm like, all right, okay, I'm sorry. And you know, I know, you know, you're a hot girl. If like your first reaction to someone asking you if the seat's taken is stop pitting on me. It's like, ew, I get it, I'm hot. I'm not that person, obviously. I'd be like, no, take it all yours. I was like, new friend.

Yeah, cool. So what did you do? Did you give up or did you persist? Well, when you're in front of a hot girl, I think you always end up saying the dumbest stuff that you ever say. So I go, why don't you just turn that frown upside down? Oh, dude. Nice.

I want to slap you. That was a good one, dude. No. I approve. That's terrible. Yeah, no, I said it. It was was in the moment and then i backed off and i didn't know what else to say so i did whatever and then but like a few minutes later i'm like you know what she is too good looking to just not give it one more shot oh this poor woman i mean

she has told you how many different ways that she wants you to leave her alone no you can't take the first no you have to wait until they bring in the cops, they put cuffs on you and lead you away until you give up. So you went back a second time. I thought, you know, second time, if this is a no, then I'll shut up. Okay.

So I come up from this angle of like, you know what, I'm really sorry you're having a bad day. And here's the thing, I'm a really good listener, so if you want to tell me what's bothering you, I'll listen. Great rebound. Thanks. And so I sat down and she starts telling me that her ex-husband is getting married again. And he actually invited her to the wedding. There's a lot there. So how'd you feel after that conversation? I thought it was, I was like, you know, the gall of people being people.

And she said it in this way where it was like, yeah, and he's just trying to rub my face in it. And I tell her, I was like, you know what? You really want to make this guy jealous if he's rubbing this in your face? You want to rub it in his face? Take me. Wait, what? Take me, the semi-attractive stalker from the coffee shop we'll show him yeah we'll do this together like you know hey man you don't know me at all i'm a complete stranger let's

just do this together and you know at first she was like a little bit resistant yeah obviously so wait did you actually go to her ex-husband's wedding with her i totally totally did. You did? What? Why are we talking about that? That's the important part. What was it like? First of all, she was really nervous. Right. I was just really happy to be kind of hanging out with her. And you know, it's a wedding. So there's food, everyone's dancing. Like it's a blast. There's love. It's not her her love it's her ex-husband's love i started getting a little bit nervous because i was like this is just to rub it in her ex-husband's face because every time her ex would look in our direction i would try to show some sort of affection to her so you're okay wait you're obviously okay with a woman who's definitely

not over her ex right or whatever issues and was just using you as arm candy. Yeah, I know. I know, but listen, you didn't see how hot she was. Prove it. Send some pics. Oh, my God. Okay, so after you went with her to the wedding, did she seem happy with your services?

Is that the right way to ask this? Yeah, kind of. He's kind of like rent-a-boyfriend. Was she satisfied that you made her ex jealous? Yes, it seemed like it, but now she's not calling me back and I thought it was such a great time and I

know it was just to make her ex jealous. Maybe she's waiting for that baby shower invite. We'll find out. We're going to play a song, come back, call her, and get your second date update right sounds great all right hold on second date update if you're just tuning in for today's second date update we're talking with greg greg is available for birthdays weddings funerals and ribbon cutting ceremonies at used car lots any event where you need to make someone jealous,

he's your man. If you want your ex back, don't beg. Just call Greg. Ooh, I love that tagline. All right, Greg, you there? I am there. And by the way, what a brilliant intro. Thank you very much.

Yeah, see? You're in business now, Greg. You better get that website. We're already helping. If you're just tuning in, Greg met a girl named April, and he volunteered to take her to her ex-husband's wedding to try and make him jealous. God, when you say it like that, it's so bad. That's the truth.

It is. He says they had a good time together, and he tried to be extra affectionate whenever the groom was looking in their direction. But afterwards, April's weirdly not responding to any of greg's calls or texts greg as i recap the date is there anything in there that makes you think huh maybe that's why she's not calling me so i'm so happy you asked me that question because i dowered my mind to try to find something where i'm like could that have been the thing was it the affection in general no so no, you're not hearing anything weird. Not really.

Oh, my God. All right. It's just hard. You know, the whole night was about her ex. It wasn't about you. So, I mean, maybe you can change that. Maybe this will help. Yes.

And here's the thing, guys. I normally don't date girls that are this hot. So, if you guys could help me out with calling her. That changes everything. Okay. Well, let's call April for you and we're going to get your second date update. All right. Did I mention she's hot?

Yeah. Yes. I think you did. All right. We know how to talk to hot girls. Are you ready for this? Or do you want to tell us how hot she is one more time? Oh my God.

I just want to tell you that she's really, really hot. Okay. I'm done. All right. You got that out of the way. I'm going to dial the phone number right now, okay? Absolutely, thank you. All right, here we go.

Hello? Hi, can I speak to April, please? This is Sheed Marascus calling. Yes, my name is Young Jeffrey. I work on the radio. How are you? I'm sorry, I ask who's calling? Yes, my name is Young Jeffrey. I work on the radio. How are you? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what? Young Jeffrey is my name, and radio is my profession, and I'm calling you now.

Uh, I never called you guys. Did I win something, or? Well, you could look at it that way, depending on how this next couple minutes go. Oh, I'm so confused. Why are you calling me? Well, we're doing a segment called the Second Date Update. That's where if you go out with someone and they're not calling you back, we can give that person a call and try and figure out the reason why.

So we're calling on behalf of one of our listeners named Greg. Oh, Greg. I knew that was going to be the next one. You want to pat him on the top of the head too, don't you? He's such a nice guy. I put him in a pretty weird position. It seems like he put himself in a weird position from what he's told us.

Yeah, Greg told us all about your date. He said that he took you to your ex-husband's new wedding to try and make him jealous. Healthy. Sounds like a real healthy start. What was that like for you? Well, he like invited himself basically. Like I tried to get him away from me. I'm not in a good place right now. Like I actually threw a sugar packet at him when he like told me to like turn that frown upside down i was like go away but then he was really nice and he was like well i can go with you and he would try to like kiss me on the cheek if he thought my ex was looking and all that which i appreciate well

obviously he's like a really nice guy trying to help you in this way why aren't you calling him oh well after the wedding like like, the next day, I was getting a coffee, and then, you know, the barista, Sean, I guess Greg's friend, he was like, how was the wedding? And he could tell, like, I was really upset. He ended up giving me the drink for free. I mean, the whole thing is so sad.

How's your ex's marital bliss? Yeah, did you catch the bouquet? Yeah, remember when it didn't work out with you, but he's upgraded since then? He knew that they went together. I know, but catch the bouquet? Yeah, remember when it didn't work out with you, but he's upgraded since then? He knew that they went together. I know, but like, girl, why did you RSVP yes? I don't know, because I like to

put myself through pain. I'm some kind of masochist. Yeah, seriously. I mean, I guess you at least got a free latte out of it. Yeah, I actually got more out of it than a free latte. You know, he sat down with me and he talked to me and

one thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with Sean that night. What? The barista guy? Wait! His friend? Yeah, Greg's friend and I know that... So you didn't sleep with Greg after Greg went to the wedding with you.

But Sean just said, ooh, sorry, here's a 12-ounce caramel macchiato. Get over here. And he got some. Yeah, like I said, I'm not in a good place. I'm in between therapists. Girl, I do love you, though. I do. You are a mess right now.

No, I don't love you. This is pretty rude. Yeah, that's though. I do. You are a mess right now. No, I don't love you. This is pretty rude. Yeah, that's bad. I know. Are you even attracted to Greg at all? I mean, you turned him down when he very first talked to you, like, twice. And then he... I don't even know if it matters if I'm attracted to him at this point. Like, I'm in such a bad place.

Yeah. Yeah, you need to be single for a while. Totally. I need to be single and maybe do more random hookups until I feel better. I don't know. I can tell you're in therapy with things like that that you're saying. Don't you think Greg has a right to know what happened? Yeah, but I don't know how to say it.

Like, hey, thanks for being such a nice guy, and you were great at this wedding, and you remember your friend who vouched for you? Maybe you want to pick another barista to be friends with. Like, what am I supposed to say? I don't know what to say. Well, you just say exactly what you just said because Greg actually heard it. Um. Hi.

Oh, man. Oh, Greg. It's fine. Fine? Well, I mean, like, I'm not as attractive as Sean is. Oh, dude, what? I get it. No, it has, Greg, I promise you it had nothing to do with that.

It was just the right place at the right time, and you being at my ex-husband's wedding was not the right place nor the right time. I don't know. I'm so sorry. What? I mean, it's so obvious when you say it out loud. Wait, Greg, you're cool? No, I mean, like, I'm not happy about it,

but I get what she's saying. What do you feel about your friend, Sean, who set you up with this girl going back and sleeping with her? That's true. He's just being a jerk, and I'm mad at him. I'm not mad at you. You sound very angry. Yeah, you don't sound.

Yeah. Sounds like everyone wins but you, dude. But here's the thing. I would want to be a geek. You were saying about how you're going through this whole thing. I would want to be one of those hookups. But is it just a right place, right time kind of thing?

Honestly, you just seem a little too mentally stable for me right now. Oh, my God. You're too nice, dude. So, Greg, no. Greg just wants to be used because he wants to hook up with you. Oh, no. I mean, you're really pretty. See?

See? What do you think, April? Are you willing to use Greg for your grief? See, now that's so weird. But listen, this will be the most honest hookup that you'll ever have. Like, he knows exactly what he's going to get out of it, and that's nothing. I mean, one night of enjoyment, maybe. That's so terrible.

Like, Greg's a good guy. Like, I want, like, a hookup, not like a mail-order bribe. I don't want to have to feel bad. I mean, I could be a good guy. Like, I want, like, a hookup, not, like, a mail-order bride. I don't want to have to feel bad. I mean, I could be a bad guy. I'm James Dean when I'm not going to weddings to, you know. Greg, can I just ask, like, how old are you? Because your references are very old and strange. He's however old you want him to be, April.

Oh, my God, Greg, you have to leave this situation. She doesn't want to use you, and she's calling you old like it's just you're not gonna win maybe not but again i think you're worth it i'm the author is still on the table he's so sweet yeah what do you say april why don't you put on a really really sad depressing movie like put on marley and me and then invite him over we'll pay for a pizza for you guys to eat together, and then you can grief bang your way back to happiness. What do you say? You know, not that that doesn't sound so sexy.

I just, Greg, I think you're a great guy. Don't get mixed up with me. Like, you're so genuine. Your references are very bizarre, but I'm sure you'll find someone weird like you. What? Ouch, that hurt me. All right, whatever.

That really bums me out. You got to act like you don't care. You're kind of a doormat, Greg, and you need to change that about yourself. Well, I wouldn't go that far, but thank you. He thanked her. Oh, Greg. We got a lot to work on with you. Greg and I both have lots to work on, I think.

We're kind of on opposite ends of the spectrum here. But you're just going to work on them with Sean instead. Oh, whoa. I don't know. It could be a different person. Who's to say? Oh, even better. Sean, Joe, Kevin.

It's not great. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show, ears edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show,

ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions,

including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.

$1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts

for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnavailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts.